#Elboy please stop doing this to yourself ;;;;;

[rainsonata]

Two Fools

Fandom/Pairing: Elsword; MMRS (can be read as platonic) Rating: K Word Count: 2,310

Summary: Both were emotional people, albeit that Add tried to be reserved with little success while Elsword wore his emotions on his sleeves. Although Elsword was saved from being consumed by the El after offering himself to it, his actions are met with silence when Add left without a word.  

Birthday gift for @zeloree

For the first time since he left Atlus Station, his mind was clear, and he felt like himself. The voice that once cluttered his head like a heavy fog has lifted after what felt like a long nap. There were more than ten of them now, but their pleads awakened the Rune Slayer and brought him back to the living world.

Without him to maintain its stability, the urgency on restoring the El to its former glory was at stake, but even Elsword couldn’t find himself to place too much pressure on that. He always believed in himself and his friends to find a solution to everything they faced. This wasn’t any different than before.

It was like nothing changed while he was gone. Or so he thought. Aisha and his sister reprimanded him for making foolhardy decisions and putting himself out there like that, with Eve even slapping him to get her feelings on the matter across. He was still rubbing his face later until Raven offered an ice pack to alleviate the pain. Rena didn’t yell at him, but she offered him more food than necessary at dinner and Ciel offered him a cookie, the one Lu insisted was the best. They planned on staying in Elysion for a few days to rest before packing up for their next destination. Amid catching up with everyone’s concern for his well-being, Elsword forgot one person.

Where was Add?

The last time he saw the scientist was when he woke up from his deep slumber, where Add uttered, “Get up, you nosy brat. How many times are you going to bother me?”

He said it with annoyance, but it didn’t reach his eyes and his voice was more robotic than Eve’s. Add refused to look at him after that and mumbled something about resupplying their inventory when asked where he was going. He hasn’t returned since then. It was past dinner when Elsword excused himself.

“I’m going to look for him,” Elsword said when Aisha stared at him. “His dinner is going to get cold.”  

Away from their house in Velder, there was no lab for the Mastermind to hide in. He couldn’t have ventured far from their campsite. Elysion was lit up like a lantern when Elsword left to search for the scientist. Even at night the city refused to sleep. The streets were somewhat crowded and occupied by nasods, all of Adrian’s creations.

Like Hamel, Elysion’s architecture was carved in white and gold, out of material he didn’t recognize from Elrios. The buildings had white rooftops gold outlines and patterns traced over the edges. The only organic beings in the city were the cherry blossom trees that never lost their petals when Elsword ran past them. The signs directed him to the city plaza, where he found the familiar sight of a white-haired man sitting under a purple roofed pillar with his legs hanging over the edges.

“Add!” Elsword waved to get the other’s attention.

He ran over to the scientist to sit beside him and stretched out his arms to yawn. It was a breathtaking view, he could see the cherry blossoms in bloom from where they sat. There was a manmade pond beneath the building where he could dip his feet into if he wanted to. But that wasn’t what he was looking at.

Add rested his head against one of the pillars supporting the roof and didn’t turn his head to greet the redhead. His face was calm with his eyes averting his gaze, staring at the cherry blossoms with newfound interest.

“It’s pretty here, isn’t it?” Elsword said when the other didn’t answer. “Where have you been? Everyone’s been worried about you.”

Or at least some of them did, Elsword thought. Aisha huffed when he announced his leave, but let him go when it became clear that he had no intentions on returning until Add was back. Rena was more empathetic and promised to keep Add’s food warm in the meantime. Eve and Ain nodded, but he could tell that their opinion and his on the scientist weren’t mutual. A few of the others saw it as normality for him to show worry about one of their teammates gone missing and offered to join him, but Elsword declined. He knew this had to be just them because he didn’t appreciate having an audience if something was personal enough to make Add leave out of the blue.      

“That’s a lie.”

He looked up at the scientist in surprise when he finally uttered a short sentence. Confused, Elsword tugged on Add’s long jacket sleeve. Why wasn’t he looking at him? Was Add upset because it took them so long to figure out that their situation was beyond Solace after so many detours through Sander and Lanox?  

“You probably came here because you noticed I was gone,” Add said. “Here you go again, playing the hero. You have guts to come here after what you did.”

“What do you mean?” Elsword tried to understand when he recognized that Add was unhappy with him.

He wasn’t afraid of the scientist’s changed mood, but was troubled by it. The redhead was used to seeing Add upset on failed experiments or when things didn’t go his way, but this emotion felt different. Add was furious.             

“Do you know how long you were out, red bean?” Add growled, “The El is powered by people who resonate with it and the first thing you do is offer yourself to it like a sacrificial lamb. I didn’t know you wanted to become lamb chop.”

Elsword winced at Add’s lack of mincing words. While he appreciated Add’s food metaphors, this was not how he envisioned the scientist on using them. Couldn’t Add laugh this off like he did for all his other mistakes and drop it already? It wasn’t as bad as Add made it sound.   

“I don’t know, lamb chop is delicious,” he laughed when Add glared at him.

Uh oh, this wasn’t good. Was he stupid to find amusement in the other’s anger? There was something endearing about seeing that yes, the cold hearted scientist was capable of showing worry, even if Add was stubborn about it. Sometimes, Elsword couldn’t help but say what was on his mind without thinking, just to see Add show more of his emotional side.    

Elsword said, “This isn’t about me. If the El continued being hosted by El Lady-”

“The same would happen to you,” he said with annoyance. “Consumed by it until you cease to exist. Do you have some kind of hero complex and enjoy giving yourself away to everyone?”

“You say that as if it’s a terrible thing,” Elsword said.

Hero complex? That had to be the first time he heard of that, Elsword mused to himself. He couldn’t understand why Add saw it as an insult. Wasn’t it a good thing on wanting to help people? He was treating them the same as he would have wanted others to treat him, so it was okay, wasn’t it?   

“It is when you disregard how everyone feels and throw yourself away like you’re worthless,” Add tucked his head down to hide his face. When Elsword tried looking at him, he blinked his eyes a lot and scowled.

“Does that mean you think I’m not worthless?” Elsword forced a smile, but even he was having a tough time doing that when Add didn’t return one. Add wasn’t going to be mad at him forever, was he? “I just did what I thought was best for everyone.”

“I’m not talking about everyone,” Add blurted out, no longer caring that he was too loud or that the nasods stopped in their monotonous tracks to look at the outburst he was causing. “I’m talking about you. Did it ever occur to you that nobody wanted this? Do you know how long it took them to find your body before that dragon told us where you went?

“What do you mean where my body went?” Elsword stopped him. His physical body, it still existed if he was standing in front of Add. What happened to it back there? He was asleep with his mind drifting away from his subconscious, but he couldn’t remember where he was. The sinking feeling he had was making him uneasy.   

“Your body disappeared,” the scientist said. “For all we know, you could have been dead. At least tell someone what was going on in that musclehead of yours before running off. And your sister...she didn’t tell us about the voices in her head until after you disappeared!”

Elesis heard them too? Elsword scratched the back of his head in wonder, then remembered what Solace told him. It was El Lady who tried to contact him and his sister, a cry for help that led to all of this. Everything was beginning to make sense now that he was back with the living with the capacity to think again.

“Okay, the first one is my fault,” Elsword admitted. “The second one, that’s all of sis, not me.”

Add’s hair slid down with the rest of his ponytail, lower than the usual. His side bangs were a mess, tangled from the scientist tugging on them out of habit when stressed or impatient. His collar was low enough that Elsword could see the scar on his neck peeking out. With his half-lidded eyes and melancholy expression, Elsword felt a pang of guilt when he realized Add likely hasn’t slept in days because he wasn’t there to remind him.      

“Forget what I said,” he shook his head. “That was selfish and irrational of me to say. I do mean the last part, though. At least talk to pineapple first if something changed about you. At least she has more of a brain than you.”

“You really don’t understand, do you?” Elsword said with exasperation, “I thought of everything. It was either lose everything or my sister. She’s all I have left! Losing sis would mean losing the person who made me what I am. If I lost my friends or you because I thought she was more important… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I couldn’t have either. You think I wanted any of this?”  

It was true that he didn’t know much of Add’s family or his past because the scientist always kept shut about the topic, but even the scientist knew how much Elesis meant to him. He fought strong demons and if he had to, take on one of the El Masters to protect his sister. But sacrificing his friends and the world for Elesis wasn’t something that sat right with him.  

Learning that Elesis attracted El Lady’s attention was when Elsword had to begin taking serious considerations on what to do with his life. It was when he saw Solace trying to save El Lady did he realize he didn’t want the same to happen if Elesis was to offer herself to the El. It only seemed fair that he traded his life for hers. A life for a life.

Elsword knew that he wasn’t as smart as Aisha or adept in technology as Add or Eve, but he knew his will to charge in and initiate change was his strength. It still hurt when people underestimated him and assumed he didn’t think things through. He was reckless, but he wasn’t stupid, or at least that’s what he told himself. It wasn’t like he decided to sacrifice himself on the whim, not before considering all his other options. Although without his friends, he wouldn’t be here and never would have thought of searching for an alternative energy.    

“She was your only family…” Add looked at him with what looked like guilt, “And here I was calling you stupid. Perhaps I’m the idiot for judging you so quickly.”

Was Add apologizing? There were no take backs or the scientist making light of things. No feeble excuses with Add being too stubborn to admit his mistakes, or thank heavens if he was capable of having emotions like most human beings. He was awkward sitting next to Elsword with his head slumped down and his back slouched. Elsword reached out to wrap his arm around Add and silently cheered when the other didn’t reject his gesture. Add shook when he hugged him with his arms around his neck. It made the scientist look vulnerable. It felt wrong.      

“I’m sorry you’re upset, but that was my decision,” Elsword rubbed the other’s back. “You’re not the only one who disagreed with it.”

And he had the slap marks on his face to prove it too.  

“Naturally,” Add buried his head into the other’s shoulder and closed his eyes when Elsword patted his fluffy hair. “But that still makes you a fool.”    

“I know.”

“Unlike your goody two shoe friends, I won’t go easy on you if I catch you sacrificing yourself so you could play the martyr again.”

Elsword laughed at the empty threat, “Is that a duel I hear? I can take you on.”

Add chuckled at his response and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe his audacity to say that. He was probably calmer than Elsword anticipated because the knight was brushing his fingers through his hair.    

Elsword knew the scientist was serious about stopping him, but he understood why. He would have done the same if their roles reversed. They stayed there for a while, neither of them wanting to move until Add’s stomach growled, earning him an embarrassed laugh and nudging them to return to their campsite. The confused looks from their friends when Add announced that he was going to help them pack tomorrow for the trip made Elsword laugh. Despite Add insisting he was selfish more than once, he didn’t think the scientist was a bad person.