#Even if A CERTAIN SHOW REFUSES TO AKNOWLEDGE YOUR EXISTENCE

[heyjude19-writing]

Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:

1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco

2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*

3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.

4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!

5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.

6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.

7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you

7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!

Now to some questions

A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?

B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process

C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way

D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?

Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?

Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.

Ok rant done. :D

List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!

1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)

2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.

3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.

4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???

5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.

6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.

7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.

Now to some answers:

A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!

B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”

C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”

D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.

I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.

The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”

If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.

Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.

You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.

Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!

[podrickpaynest]

THAT WAS  A TEST

i was asked by lovely jess to discuss the bit in rocketman when elton john yells "that was a test" in bernie taupin's face. i believe she meant a short comment, not really appreciating how much i can go on about rocketman once i start to think about it. so i'm sorry all, this is a very long and chaotic post about what this scene makes me feel. i can be wrong about everything and will be stating the obvious a lot.

tl;dr: elton john yells "that was a test" in bernie taupin's face because he's behaving like a childish asshole.  and this is why i love him so goddamn much:

can we please first and foremost notice how all scenes when elton is being a dick to bernie take place straight after his interactions with his mother?? because i feel it is important.

so when elton tells bernie to just write the lyrics and stop telling him how to do his job he's obviously not testing him, he's too high and too emotional to even think about it. it is just after his mother tells him he will never be loved properly. just after he gets punched in the face and pushed around by the person he thought loved and cared for him. both sheila and john just want to see him perform, they do not give a flying fuck about a single thing he feels; and this brings us to the scene when he literally practices performing his feelings in front of the mirror and he puts so much effort in masking himself it will make your teeth hurt. and then bernie dares to criticize this effort and suggesting this could be done differently?? after elton is already so deeply lost?? it's too late, PEOPLE DON'T PAY TO SEE REGINALD DWIGHT, THEY PAY TO SEE ELTON JOHN. but what i really love in this scene is how he manages to compose himself and say sorry before going on stage, because he knows bernie is the only person who's left at this point. and bernie knows too.

when his mother storms into his house like she was on a zoo trip, bringing virtual strangers to his home, pratically comanding him to give them a fucking tour, he locks himself in with alcohol and drugs. let's just add that john treats him the very same way like his mother does: like an annoying, sulking kid that needs a push now and then; who is, in fact, insufferable, but can provide him with certain benefits. 

and then bernie comes in, all smiles, pristine clothes, beautiful girl under each arm, party mood in place (actually showing him off as a zoo exhibit not much unlike his mother!). and that's not something elton can deal with at the moment, because why everything is so glorious for everyone else while he is in so much pain?? and he is hostile; he doesn't stop bernie from going out and getting a drink, he encourages him in fact. and this is where bernie actually fucks up by leaving him alone, just confirming that no one there cares for elton as a person (of course bernie didn't have to stay, he had valid reasons to leave, not saying that anything that happened afterwards is his fault). and if going out, loudly announcing his suicide attempt as "his next trick" and falling to the swimming pool in front of a literal crowd is not the loudest and gut wrenching cry for help, i don't know what is, really. he must've known they won't let him die; he didn't want himself dead, he wanted himself noticed and touched and taken care of. (and let's just say that john calling him a self-indulgent prick while he is being taken away breaks me every time).

now, when bernie says he needs a break, just look at this mess of an elton reacting to it. HE NEVER STOPS BERNIE FROM LEAVING, NEVER*, even though this is obvious that he is completely lost without him (even at the beginning  when bernie leaves his side to party with heather) (fuck, when i think about it even that troubadour scene in which he locks himself in the bathroom is important here, and he is mad at bernie for telling him that famous people are at the bar and for being excited; jesus shit, bernie much?? and what bernie does is not trying to convince him to go out but is being like fiiiine, just let's cancel everything - i actually think that would work bc elton would never agree to that, but then the ray storms in and the rest is history. but what i'm trying to say is i suppose elton really needed someone to chase after him to feel valid). but let's get back to the plane scene, elton again clearly feels sick at the thought of being left alone but doesn't say so because guess what: talking about your feelings is a waste of time and he shouldn't be soft).

and then there comes the sorry seems to be the hardest word/goodbye yellow brick road sequence. he's just heard from his MOTHER telling him that 1. he was just lucky, never had to work hard for anything 2. she was the one who made all the sacrifices 3. it is so dissapointing to have him as a son she wishes she never had him. when bernie opens his mouth and something remotely resembling a lecture comes out elton loses his shit and goes straight to defense by attack. he has to fucking defend himself, okay, this is too much, and he still cannot let himself to be soft even though he is a total goo inside by this point. when bernie asks elton when he gave up, elton looks like he's been slapped. when bernie asks elton how he expects people to care about him if he himself doesn't, and that punches just in the right place, because elton probably sees it as polar opposite - how the fuck is he supposed to care a bout himself if no one else in the world does?

and can we appreciate how he uses the same words that hurt him so badly mere minutes earlier in that scene to hurt bernie in return? how he says he was working his balls off and that bernie is in fact ungrateful? and of course he knows this is bullshit, because when bernie throws his own words at him  - just write the lyrics, i'll take care of everything - how can he deny that he said that? THAT WAS A TEST is such a desperate and childish attempt to shift responsibility to bernie and to shelter his already hurting self from aknowledging he actually refused to be helped, that a lot of this shit he's into is his own fault. and this when bernie stands up and leaves, because it is really impossible to have a meaningful discussion with elton at this point; he really is self-indulgent prick (but he's not a villain for it, and i love it so much). and this is just where elton looses everything and destroys himself. 

elton expects people to give him this kind of love his parents should give him; the kind of love no one should have to work for, the one that you gain simply by existing - and he never received it. that's also why, after he owns his bullshit like a boss and goes to therapy,  his devil costume not far away from a picture of phoenix raising up, it ends with him hugging his boy self close, because damn, this child needed to be loved and accepted so badly (plus he aknowledges the fact he should've say bernie he needed him instead of expecting to be saved).

my heart hurts. move along.

*except when he runs after him from the restaurant and doesn’t even beg him to stay, he keeps attacking him because he still can’t admit he’s vulnerable, damn it, you can see how he suffers and is unable to find different way to cope.