How Many Second Chances Will We Get -- Loop 2
Read on AO3 -- with art by eviee and a podfic by tish
CWs: mention of kidnapping and children in danger; canon-typical description of injuries
Grizzop says goodbye again, Azu tries to explain, and Hamid and Sasha do some scouting.
Usually the only things capable of dragging Grizzop into sleep are either exhaustion or a begrudging acceptance that he has to rest for his spells to replenish. Tonight, his adrenaline is miles ahead of exhaustion, and he’s not getting his spells back either way, since they seem to be in an anti-magic cell, so he’s awake when it happens–one moment, he’s squinting into the empty monochrome beyond the bars, and the next, everything is…wrong.
He doesn’t get time to process what wrong means before everything gets worse–there’s a confused, slightly pained cry, and then the whole universe drops out from under his feet. He clutches the hands in his – hands? – and grits his teeth against the sensation of his body being stretched like over-kneaded dough, thin to the point of tearing.
Don’t open your eyes, he tells himself, but Eva did always say he was too curious for his own good, so he looks. Shapes and colors he cannot understand swirl around him, breaking into fractals that break into sharp, abstract points that seem to exist in time but not in space. Above him, inches and miles away, there’s the tip of what might be a finger, and then Grizzop’s eyes unfocus with pain, and a moment later he’s hitting the ground.
“Fuck,” he mutters, which is about all he can manage. His bones are still trying to figure out what size they’re supposed to be, which gives him the rare urge to lay face down for a while, but he pushes that aside and gets to his feet, cataloging if everyone’s okay before he’s even processed who everyone is.
Sasha, Hamid, Azu, Eldarion. But also Hamid’s brother, and Azu’s, and the gnome Sasha seems to know, and—Vesseek.
“Fuck,” he says, with emphasis now. What in Artemis’ name happened?
He checks the surroundings – an empty room with a mosaic on the floor that pricks at his memory – while the others get to their feet. Vesseek is leaning heavily on one leg, nose scrunched in suppressed pain, and Grizzop rushes to their side. “What is it?”
“My bones think they’re liquid,” Vesseek mutters, leaning into him gratefully. “Knee might be fucked up, too. But that’s it.”
Grizzop murmurs a few words and runs his hand gently over Vesseek’s fuzzy ear, watching the healing energy loosen their shoulders and slow their breaths. He lets his hand drift to their cheek for a moment, feeling the warmth of fur and skin as they lean into the touch, then forces himself to pull away. There isn’t time. Not yet.
“What…where are we?” Azu asks, grabbing for Hamid’s hand again.
“It looks like the orgy room,” Grizzop says with a frustrated little huff. “The ancient one, I mean. At least it’s not full of people this time.” He glances at Sasha, but she’s frowning in confusion, gripping her knives and sweeping her eyes between the group and the exit, so he swings his gaze to Eldarion instead. “Can you get us back?”
She looks worse off than the rest of them – accidentally dragging nine other people thousands of years into the past will do that to you, Grizzop supposes – but she straightens and nods, holding her hands out to either side. “Yes. We better not delay, either.”
Azu channels positive energy as they all join hands again, and Grizzop gets the novelty of his body feeling like it has normal bones for about ten seconds before he’s sucked back into the endless, stretching universe.
(He doesn’t open his eyes this time, mostly because Vesseek’s claws dig into his skin like a warning, but also because everything hurts.)
When he does open his eyes, they’re clearly back in modern Rome, which is as relieving as it is frustrating. There isn’t time to dwell on that, though, because across the circle, Eldarion’s eyes roll back and she drops like a stone in a pond.
Azu doesn’t manage to catch the woman before she hits the ground, but it’s only a second or two before she has Eldarion gathered into her arms; she checks for a pulse, nods at the group when she finds one, then scans for injuries. There’s blood trailing from Eldarion’s skull, and her eyelids didn’t fully close when she passed out, leaving a thin line of bloodshot white. Her skin is far too pale.
With a burst of divine pink energy, Eldarion stirs, coughing like she’s been underwater. Instinctively, Grizzop moves to Sasha’s side; she doesn’t acknowledge his presence, too busy staring at the scene before them, but he feels better watching over her anyway.
Now that Eldarion is out of immediate danger, Grizzop draws his bow, figuring he should make sure the rest of them aren’t in danger, too—and immediately sees Einstein, of all people, staring at them twenty feet away, slack-jawed.
“What are you doing here?” Grizzop asks, keeping his grip on the bow tight but not drawing an arrow yet. He recalls what Einstein and Curie had told them yesterday, about imposters wearing their friends’ faces.
“Wow!” Einstein replies, as bright-voiced and oblivious as always. “I can’t believe you made it!”
Grizzop’s free hand twitches. “But we already made it,” he reminds the professor, frowning. “We got here yesterday, remember? Most of us dropped in, and then Eldarion and Azu and Hamid grabbed me and Sasha, and….” He trails off when it’s clear Einstein has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about and turns to the others instead. “Any of you got a clue what the fuck is happening?”
Everyone looks about as confused as Grizzop feels, but Vesseek steps forward anyway, always eager to keep things moving (he fell in love with them for a reason).
“Zop,” they say, slowly, and Grizzop immediately feels on edge. There’s a trace of their Dama voice in even that one word, that careful lilt he used to catch whenever one of the clutch asked where Papa was going. “That hasn’t happened before. We just got out of that weird time pocket, remember? And then we fell into the past, or something like that, and then we got back here.”
A few voices rise in agreement, but Hamid cuts in. “No, wait, I remember yesterday, too. We…we got out, and Einstein was here, but Grizzop and Sasha weren’t, so we got them back, but it meant we lost even more time than everyone else….”
“Oh, zat is very weird,” Einstein says; he seems equal parts nervous and fascinated. “From my perspective, it has been…well, quite a while since I’ve seen any of you.”
“Don’t worry,” Grizzop says, “we already know about the time jump.”
“Time jump?” That’s the younger halfling, peeking out from his spot behind Hamid to squeak in protest. “You mean like- like we skipped a month, or something? Does that mean Ismail is gonna be older than me?” He sounds much more put out by that idea than of losing a month of his life, and Grizzop resists the urge to roll his eyes, or maybe laugh.
Hamid frowns. “So you don’t remember being here before?” His brother shakes his head, and Hamid visibly swallows. “Oh dear.”
“Right,” Grizzop says, because this is getting to be way too much way too fast. “If today is the first time you remember getting popped into Rome with Einstein, raise your hand.”
Einstein and everyone who didn’t go to Japan raise their hands–and, to Grizzop’s mild horror, Sasha.
“You- you don’t remember the first time in Rome?” Grizzop asks her, trying not to be disappointed. He should be glad she doesn’t recall nearly being killed (again), but a small, maybe jealous part of him doesn’t like the idea of her not remembering any of it.
Sasha shakes her head, looking vaguely guilty. “Sorry, mate.” Bi Ming, who’s guarding Sasha’s other side, pats her arm lightly, and she leans into the contact. Grizzop frowns.
It all gets a bit mucky after that. No one has any clue how this memory loss loop thing happened, and there’s not much to do about it either way while they’re in a boarded-up building in Rome, so once the whole infection situation is explained to everyone, they get ready to teleport out, at which point Hamid helpfully brings up that they already know they won’t be staying in Cairo, and should thus head off to find Wilde and continue their mission. It takes some convincing, but Einstein agrees to take them to Japan first and then send who he can over to Cairo, staying with the rest here for the night until he has enough energy for more teleportation.
Vesseek is one of the ones heading to Cairo, and Grizzop knows that’s a good choice – they need to find the clutch, get them to safety – but he still feels the urge to ask Vesseek to come with him anyway. He’s said goodbye so many times; said goodbye yesterday.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” Vesseek says, smiling at what is probably a petulant frown on Grizzop’s face. “You’re practically a master of these by now, oh mighty paladin.”
Grizzop rolls his eyes, but pulls Vesseek in his arms all the same. Their ears brush together, smooth against soft, Vesseek’s claws light against his shoulders. He buries his face against their neck.
“Once we figure things out,” he says, muffled, “maybe I can find some work near you and the clutch. Probably gonna have work to do everywhere, right?”
“I imagine so,” Vesseek agrees, though their tone is soft enough to make Grizzop unsure whether he’s being placated There’s a moment of pause, then another, and then Vesseek pulls away, holding him by the shoulders. “Be quick about saving the world, yeah?”
Grizzop nods, then swallows. It occurs to him that the last time he’d talked to Vesseek, they’d had six months to process getting kidnapped; now, they’ve apparently had about five minutes. “You all right? After the kidnapping stuff, I mean.”
Vesseek sighs. “I think so. They weren’t overly cruel, just doing a job. Worst bit was just getting taken.” A pause, like they’re not sure if they should say more or not. “I was at home when it happened. The little ones are okay, I think–or they were, at least, obviously it’s been a long time. But, um…they did see it happen.”
It’s hard not to imagine it: Vesseek, one goblin in their arms and another on their leg, opening the door to find a person twice their size bearing down on them. Struggling to escape a vice-like grip, managing only to wrench their mouth free so they can scream for the little ones to run, and of course they do, because they already know, they have to know, how dangerous it is for goblins–
“Zop.”
Grizzop blinks, realizes his vision is blurred with tears. “I’ll kill the guy,” he snarls, half choking on it, ”if they’re not dead already. I’ll shoot their knees off, and I won’t heal them after, and-”
“Grizzop.” Hands find his face, wiping away tears, and he sees Vesseek giving him a look that’s equal parts fondness and frustration. It’s a very familiar look. “That’s not your job right now. And anyway, I think I get first dibs on the revenge plot here. Maybe the kids, too, if they get any better aim.”
The joke is a bit weak, but it’s Vesseek, so it works. Grizzop snorts, leaning into their touch, and curls his hands around his partner’s with all the tender ferocity he can’t properly express. “All right, all right. I’ll go save the world, and then we’ll see about the knee shooting.”
“Good plan.” They kiss his forehead, then slide their hands up and out of his grip so they can stroke his ears, playing with the piercings they gave him before he left for Prague. A resigned sort of sadness pulls their eyebrows down and together, though their eyes are as fond as ever. “I love you.”
This is what you signed up for, Grizzop tells himself. “Love you, too, ‘Seek.”
Japan is wet. Uselessly, endlessly wet. Even with casting endure elements on each other, and taking cover under the biggest tree they can find without being too conspicuous – not that they’re ever inconspicuous, with Azu’s armor – they’re completely soaked by the time they start talking about what to do next.
“We went to meet Wilde,” Azu tells Sasha, “but there was a trapdoor in the inn. You escaped–” Sasha straightens– “but we ended up in an anti-magic cell. They wanted to keep us there for a week, to prove we didn’t have the infection thing Einstein was talking about.”
“None of ‘em caught me for a whole week?” Sasha asks.
“We were only in there for a night before we…reset,” Azu says. “But you didn’t get caught before then, no. At least as far as we knew.”
Sasha preens a little, in that awkward, folded-up way of hers, just as Hamid’s eyes alight with realization. “Oh, I can’t believe I forgot! Sasha, Zolf was there.”
That gets Sasha’s attention. “Zolf was there? Like, at the inn? Or was he in the cell with you?”
“He was working with Wilde,” Hamid explains, eager but nervous, or maybe the other way around. “Has been since not long after we all went missing, actually. He was the one who talked to us while we were in the cell.”
Sasha’s eyebrows furrow, eyes flitting back and forth as she thinks. “Thought he would’ve gotten outta the whole thing, but I guess the world is ending. Be nice to see him, though; I can tell him about how I’m not sorta dead anymore. Oh! And about my new daggers. They didn’t try to take any of your weapons away, did they?”
Belatedly, Grizzop realizes he’s gnashing his teeth hard enough to make his jaw ache. He knows Sasha never seemed to resent Zolf much for leaving, but should she be this excited to see a man who abandoned her while she was dying? Who promised her he’d help?
When was the last time you saw your own clutch, Grizzop? a voice not unlike Eva’s murmurs. The last time you saw Vesseek, before they were taken?
Grizzop growls and shakes the voice away, forcing himself back to the conversation, which has thankfully shifted away from Zolf Fucking Smith.
“Maybe that’s why you don’t remember,” Hamid suggests to Sasha. “Because you weren’t in the anti-magic cell.”
Sasha shrugs. “Maybe, but does that mean we shouldn’t go in the cell, or we should?”
Hamid frowns. “Well, if it does happen again, it’s better for us all to remember it, but if going into the cell is what caused it….”
“But everyone reset,” Grizzop points out, “not just the ones in the cell. Not even just the ones in Japan.”
“That’s right,” Eldarion says, and Grizzop starts a little; he’d forgotten she was here. “I suspect our…time jumping is more connected to planar interference than it is to the cell.”
Azu frowns. “Still, I’d rather we not go back into the cell if there’s any other option. I can’t imagine trying to spend a whole week in there.”
“Could just scope out the place,” Sasha suggests. “If they didn’t catch me once, I bet they won’t catch me now. I’m like an…an eel. In…dark water.”
“And we’ll be sleeping…under the tree, then?” Eldarion asks. She doesn’t quite manage to hide her distaste at the idea.
Azu sighs. “Unless any of us have figured out how to put up a tent.”
With the plan set, everyone describes what they can remember of the inn to Sasha, and, after some back-and-forth, decide to have Hamid go with her, so they can report back if anything happens to the other person.
“I don’t know if the professor told Wilde we’re coming yet,” Hamid says, fiddling with his robe. “If he did, Wilde might already have someone patrolling. Or maybe even just told that innkeeper? He was awfully weird when we came the first time.”
“Yes, he was the one who put us in the room with the trap,” Azu agrees. “Hard to tell if he works for Wilde or is just paid by him, though.”
“Either way, keep your guard up,” Grizzop says. “And be careful.”
Sasha frowns, just a little petulant. “‘M not gonna mess up.”
Dammit. “That’s not- I don’t think you’re gonna mess up. Just…it’s not that important, if you can’t learn every detail. This infection stuff seems bad, don’t want you to…ya know.” He looks at the ground, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. At least he didn’t yell this time. Or cry.
When Sasha doesn’t respond immediately, Grizzop’s curiosity has him glancing back up; she’s watching him, an unreadable expression on her face, eyes equally sharp and soft. One of her hands has drifted to her shoulder.
“Don’t worry, mate,” she says finally, seeming to shake free of her thoughts. “I got this.” She gives a tentative grin to the group at large – it falters a little when her eyes move over Eldarion, but doesn’t drop entirely – and glances at Hamid, who gives an encouraging nod and casts invisibility on himself.
With a final mock salute, Sasha turns and runs off, disappearing into the shadows between one step and the next, just as invisible as her companion.
Sasha comes back four hours later. Hamid isn’t with her.
He was noticed by people in the inn, she explains breathlessly – the spell must’ve worn off, or maybe Wilde’s anti-magic technology is more widespread than just the cell – and was forced to go inside and try to act casual. Sasha managed to sneak in behind him, but couldn’t get into the trap room before he fell.
She looks deeply frustrated about the whole affair, including leaving Hamid behind; Grizzop has the urge to tell her this doesn’t mean she messed up, but knows better. There’s some bickering about what to do next – no one wants to leave Hamid alone in there, but they don’t know how they’d rescue him, and no one’s particularly fond of being in the cell either – before they decide for Eldarion to go and the rest of them to stay.
“It will increase our chances of doing the initial planar jump smoothly if I know it’s coming,” she explains, tucking a stray hair back into her otherwise perfect bun. “So this may actually be a benefit.”
She leaves then, with no goodbye apart from a stiff little bow, her sodden skirts dragging on the ground. No one wishes her luck.
The mood is decidedly tense after that. Azu makes a decent cover to lay over the branches with some things in her bag of holding. Sasha does some knife tricks while Grizzop sharpens her spares along with his arrows. They play some cards, but Grizzop’s heart isn’t in it, and Sasha quickly tires of winning.
The sun sets, though the rain never ceases, and no one moves to lie down or get some sleep. No one comes looking for them, either, which makes Grizzop far more on edge than if they had.
And, finally, when he’s just about ready to risk doing some scouting of the inn himself, Grizzop gets that feeling again–wrongness, then pain, then the universe slowly tearing apart.
And then he forgets.
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