#FAMslash february

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 01 - Black

Karen x Tracy

Karen hated when Ed was in space. The vast blackness of space seeped into her nightmares, turning the jungle and the cat darker and more deadly.

It was a little better when Gordo was with Ed. Tracy and the boys would stay after all the other wives left for home. She’d climb into bed with Karen after banishing the boys to Shane’s room, loose and giggling from whatever she drank.

The nightmares came. They always did. Not even Tracy’s presence could drive them away.

But when Karen woke, gasping, she could reach out and grasp Tracy’s hand. Some nights, Tracy would wrap her arms around Karen’s waist, her warmth against her back driving out the terror. And other nights, Tracy’s hand would find its way under Karen’s nightgown and drive out all thoughts - thoughts of Ed, thoughts of death, thoughts of the boys down the hall.

Those nights, when Karen fell back asleep, she no longer dreamed.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 29 - White

Molly x Anastasia Belikova

In 1989, both the US and USSR celebrated the first men on the moon full of nationalism and dick swinging. Mars was years away and the moon was routine, but both nations needed the world to remember that they were the ones that held the fate of the world in their hands.

In 1990, the UN invited both Anastasia Belikova and Molly to Geneva to celebrate the anniversary of the first women to walk on the moon. It was a low key affair - no speeches, no heads of state. A medal ceremony and a reception afterwards.

Molly was still adapting to traveling to a new place for the first time since she lost her sight. She startled when she felt an unfamiliar hand on her arm. “Let’s get out of here,” a woman with a Russian accent said.

“Thought you’d never ask, Comrade Belikova,” Molly replied.

Anastasia took Molly’s arm and guided her to a bar a few blocks away. “You’re good at this,” Molly said as she settled into a chair.

“Americans aren’t the only ones who got caught in that solar flare,” Anastasia replied, as she sat next to Molly. “So, we’ve heard all the bullshit about us and the moon. What was it really like?”

Molly and Anastasia swapped stories about training and preparation and men who didn’t think they belonged in a space program.

“Then, because fucking Gagarin did it before he went into space, everyone had to do it. So I had to figure out how get my spacesuit off enough and squat down at the right angle to urinate on the tire of the bus that brought me.”

“Jesus. I’m glad I didn’t have to do that.”

“But that first step on the moon was worth it. To see all that white surrounded by the darkest black and then see the Earth just hanging there.”

“It was incredible. I can still see the white of the regolith.” Molly put her hands on Anastasia’s face. “Smile.”

Anastasia did. Molly traced her lips with her fingers. “Your damn smile. Everyone wanted me to smile like you did.”

Anastasia laughed. “After you went to the moon, everyone asked why I didn’t find ice like you did.”

“What happened to you after? I never heard about you again.”

“I worked in what you Americans call Mission Control. Got married, had children.”

“You never went to the moon again?”

“No. I miss it sometimes, though. Like an ache in my chest.”

“I know that feeling.” Molly placed her hand on Anastasia’s face again, her thumb tracing her cheekbone. She leaned into Molly’s touch. “Let’s get out of here.”

Anastasia nodded.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 12 - Dress

Molly x Margo

Molly was haunted by that dress.

After the hoopla about being the first American woman on the moon died down (and she may have smothered some of it in its cradle because she most certainly was not the kind of woman most people wanted to be first), she started to go to the club without Wayne in hopes that Margo would be playing. She would settle into a spot hidden from the sight of the piano and wait.

The times seemed to have no rhyme or reason until Molly realized that the best predictor of whether Margo would be there was how aggravated she was.

One day, Molly pressed all of Margo’s buttons. She also sat somewhere Margo couldn’t miss seeing her and when she began to play, brazenly stared. Margo looked up between songs and glared.

After her set, Molly went to look for her. She smiled, sharp and predatory when she saw Margo duck into one of the bathrooms. She followed her and locked the door behind her. She found her holding onto the sink and staring at her own reflection.

“That was quite the set.”

Margo whirled around. “What the hell, Molly?”

Molly walked toward her slowly, allowing her room to escape but slowly backing her against the wall. “I think you know.”

Margo surprised her. Her kiss was more like an attack - fierce and biting. Molly smiled against Margo’s mouth then rucked up the dress to her waist. Margo didn’t object but rather let out something like a whimper. It had probably been years since she’d been touched like this. Molly pulled down her nylons and shoved her hand down her underwear. She was already wet.

Molly latched her mouth on Margo’s neck and sucked as she rubbed. Margo only let out a small gasp but her hips bucked as she rode Molly’s hand.

The next day, Molly was surprised that Margo wore one of her usual blouses that failed to hide the marks she left on her skin. Margo tilted her chin and stared at her determinedly until Molly turned toward her CAPCOM station.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 26 - Space

Irene x Margo

When Margo was promoted to Flight, Irene Hendricks invited her for a drink. Margo declined and Irene pulled her aside. “People saw that there was bad blood between us. They need to see that we’re past that. So you will have a drink with me.”

Which was why Margo was now at The Outpost, drinking Shiner fucking bock with Irene. “I know that you’re smarter than me, Margo. And I know that if NASA wants to reach its goals, people like you will need to be in charge.”

This isn’t what Margo expected.

“But you need to learn how to play politics. Yes, they’re senseless but it’s the only way to climb the ladder.”

“And you’re going to teach me?” Margo scoffed.

Irene took a swig of her beer. “Bet your ass I am.”

*

Margo and Irene started having dinner in the JSC cafeteria once a week. And as much as Margo hated to admit it, it helped the others to see that they were getting along.

Irene taught her how to read people, how to present herself to be what those in power wanted her to be without diluting her intellect or authority.

Irene learned to lean on Margo in situations where her problem solving skills outstripped her own and always credited Margo for her help.

Soon the meals were no longer a chore but a pleasure for both of them.

*

After the Apollo 24 and 25 crises ended, Irene knocked on Margo’s office door. “How are you doing?”

Margo had thought she was fine until Irene asked. Then it was like her body caught up to her. She began to shake and much to her horror, she cried.

Irene shut the door behind her and caught Margo up in a hug.

“Two dead. And I almost lost both crews and Ed Baldwin.”

“But you didn’t.”

“After people disobeyed direct orders. They had to force me to save lives.”

“I would have made the same call.”

“I know, I know,” Margo murmured, her breath hitching in her chest.

“Margo, look at me,” Irene pulled back and framed Margo’s face with her hands. “You performed miracles, Margo.”

Margo lunged forward and kissed Irene. After her initial surprise, Irene kissed her back. Margo felt her panic subside, her brain slow down.

Irene pulled away. “We’re not doing this here. Come to my place.” She took Margo’s hand and led her out of the office.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 06 - Umbrella

Nuri (x Molly)

When she was a girl, she had a poster of Molly Cobb in room. It was her, a brilliant smile, holding the first ice humans found on the moon. When her friends had graduated to posters of bands and heartthrob actors, she still had her Molly Cobb poster.

When she thought about a princess getting rescued by a knight, the knight always looked like Molly Cobb.

Now she worked in the same building as Molly Cobb. Saw her multiple times a week. Tried to not be starstruck and failed miserably. Molly crept into her dreams and in the dreams she would end up kneeling underneath Molly’s desk, her hands tangled in Nuri’s hair, directing her where to put her mouth.

(When she woke up, she always felt a little disloyal to Miss Madison.)

There was a downpour when she was leaving work. She was happy that she brought her umbrella along today. She was opening it when she heard Molly Cobb behind her. “Shit.”

Molly didn’t have an umbrella.

“You can share my umbrella if you want, Ms. Cobb,” she piped up before she could stop herself.

Molly must have really not wanted to get soaked through because all she did was say thanks as she ducked under Nuri’s umbrella. It was the closest she had been to her. Nuri focused on trying not to be weird.

As they neared where Molly’s husband was parked, she put her hand on Nuri’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell the Mistress of Darkness know that you helped me.”

Nuri sighed as she watched Molly enter the car and her husband leaned over to kiss her.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 20 - Fake

Lenara x Irina

The most important part of her job was knowing what motivated people, and whether they responded better to threats or rewards. For example, Lenara Catiche was responding very well to to the hand Irina placed on her thigh. “And what are your concerns about Dr. Nikulov?”

Irina could see Lenara was torn between her loyalty to her mentor and her loyalty to the state or at least to her own ambitions. “Dr. Nikulov is too close to the NASA Director. I believe he is sharing information with her.”

Irina already knew that. But she was going to have to warn him to stop being so sloppy.

She gave Lenara’s thigh a squeeze. “Thank you Comrade Catiche. That will be all.”

*

Irina hung up the phone. Before she left her bed to take care of some truly unpleasant business, she leaned over and kissed Lenara. “I have business to attend to, but you should get some sleep. After all, tomorrow will be your first day as the Director of Roscosmos, Lenara.”

She saw Lenara’s eyes widen in both fear and surprise as she made her way to the shower.

*

When Sergei Orestovich defected from the USSR, Irina was marched out of Roscosmos. She refused to show the fear welling up inside her. She made a note of who reacted in what way to her humiliation.

Lenara Catiche wore a slight smirk on her face as she made eye contact. Irina would remember.

*

When Gorbachev bowed to the inevitable, Irina strode through the halls of Roscosmos again. She entered the office of the Director.

“Irina Vasilievna, it’s so good to see you again,” Lenara greeted her.

“This is now my office.” Irina nodded to the police officers flanking her. “Please, take her away.”

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 11 - Sky

Molly x Ellen

Ellen wasn’t sure what time it was when she finally got herself out of JSC. She probably had hundreds of things waiting for her return but she needed to see the sky and let herself breathe for the first time since she read Pam’s letter telling her goodbye.

She leaned against the low wall and looked up at the moon. They had almost lost the moon for thousands of years. They had almost lost EARTH. Jesus.

She startled when she saw the glowing circle of Molly’s cigarette next to her. Molly took a puff and blew smoke out. “I know you’re the big boss now, but do you ever miss it?”

What Ellen wouldn’t give to be back on the moon now, to be lost in the minutiae of duty rosters and mining claims and oxygen consumption. She knew that with the Soviet attack on the base, that the decisions would be much more crucial than that, but she wouldn’t have to think about threading the needle between the DOD and Margo, about Tracy and Gordo, about the loss of the love of her life.

She reached over and plucked Molly’s cigarette out of her fingers. She took a drag and promptly started coughing.

Molly rescued her cigarette and patted Ellen on the back. “Jesus, Wilson.”

It was too much and to her horror she started to cry. Quite unexpectedly, Molly wrapped her arm around her. “I miss it, too.”

“You can always pull an Ed Baldwin and go back.”

Molly was silent for awhile. “I can’t. The radiation. I’m going blind.”

“Oh god, Molly. I’m so - “

“Don’t fucking say you’re sorry. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Fine.” Ellen lowered her head to Molly’s shoulder and felt Molly’s thumb continue to stroke her shoulder. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe it was the relief over an averted nuclear war. Maybe it was her broken heart. But she placed a soft kiss on Molly’s neck.

Molly shifted them and kissed her hard on the mouth.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 07 - Dahlia

Dani x Tracy

Dani knew she made the right decision to get Gordo home from the moon. Her arm would mend; Gordo’s soul would not if he was permanently grounded. It’s what she reminded herself when she saw the stares at JSC and heard the questions about whether women and though it was never spoken aloud, the underlying question of whether Black people were fit for space exploration.

She found a quiet spot away from the prying eyes of others. A disused corner of JSC that she and her fellow women astronauts had found during training, away from the jokes and jeers of the men.

When she heard steps, she almost groaned aloud, but refrained when saw Tracy carrying a bouquet of dahlias. “Hey, Dani.”

“Those are pretty.”

“I know what you did for Gordo - “

“I didn’t do anything. Just had an accident.”

Tracy rolled her eyes. “You were the most careful of the four of us. I’m not stupid, Dani. So, I got you these, as a thank you.”

Dani took the flowers. They really were quite lovely. “Thanks, Tracy. They’re beautiful.”

Tracy leaned in and kissed Dani’s cheek. “Just like you.”

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 05 - Mystery

Margo x Ellen

On slow nights, when they were both at NASA, Ellen and Larry would sometimes speculate about the queerness of their fellow employees.

Ellen was pretty sure that Molly had slept with at least Patty, if not more women. After meeting Wayne, she was sure of it.

Larry was adamant that if Ed and Gordo had been on the moon alone, they would have fucked. They both thanked Dani for her service for saving them from dealing with the fallout of that.

Ellen was also sure that Karen and Tracy had drunkenly kissed after a party.

But where they disagreed the most was Margo. Larry couldn’t see her loving or wanting anything more than her job. But Ellen, after seeing Margo wear a skirt and heels and stride down the hallways of JSC like a middle linebacker on many occasions, wondered.

During the 1990 budget cycle, Margo came to DC and she and Ellen (now the Senator from Texas) put on a full court press of lobbying to secure the funding needed for the launch of the 1996 Mars mission. After the vote passed, Ellen joined Margo in her hotel’s bar. After a champagne toast, they moved on to tumblers of their preferred hard liquor. Ellen laughed as the bartender blew the dust off the bottle of Margo’s preferred brandy.

Ellen learned that Margo could handle her liquor. Although she did wobble a bit on the way to the elevator. She had brought Ellen’s anniversary plaque for the first class of female astronauts. Ellen had missed the ceremony due to a series of crucial votes she needed to be present for.

When she entered Margo’s hotel room, she was drunk enough to try to solve the mystery of Margo. When handed her the plaque, she leaned in and kissed Margo.

Margo didn’t freeze or push away. Nor did she kiss back or deepen the kiss.

Ellen pulled away, even more confused than before.

Margo thumped her on the shoulder. “Ellen, you’re a good person. And I don’t want to ruin another marriage. So let’s just forget this happened, OK?”

Ellen nodded. “Yes. Let’s.”

As she left Margo’s room with her plaque, she wondered what Margo had meant by another marriage. If she remembered when she was sober, she was going to find out about that. Which probably meant more drinking because god, Margo could keep secrets as well as a Soviet.

Ellen did not remember in the morning. She remembered the headache for years afterward.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 04 - Field

Molly x Tracy

Molly took Tracy out for a drink as a thank you for rescuing her during the Apollo 25 crisis. They bypassed The Outpost, visiting another dive bar Molly was familiar with but would afford both of them a level of anonymity. One drink had turned to several and Molly decided she was too drunk to drive.

Tracy had no compunction about that.

Which was why her car was now in the middle of a field.

Molly slammed the door shut and stared angrily at the moon until Tracy exited the car. “Leave it to you, astrowife, to find one of the last empty fields in the greater fucking Houston area.”

“It might not be empty. There might be cows.” Shit. That wasn't what she wanted to say.

“If I step in cow shit -"

Wait. Tracy remembered what she wanted to say. “I thought you’d stop with the astrowife bullshit after I saved your ass.”

Molly stomped her way around the car in a less than straight line. “That was before I experienced your driving skills. Apparently, gravity is beyond your abilities to handle.”

“It could have been worse. I could have dumped us into the Gulf.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Molly leaned in and starting jabbing Tracy in the chest. “We’re drunk. God knows where the nearest phone is. And when your stupid husband finds out, he’ll never let me live this down.”

Drunk Molly is remarkably uncreative with her insults Tracy realized. She grabbed the hand poking her. “Molly, shut the fuck up,” she said before pulling her head down and kissing her.

Part of Tracy’s brain waited for Molly to pull away, disgusted. But Molly grabbed Tracy’s ponytail and pushed her against the car, kissing her even harder.

This was something she could definitely do until they were sober enough to find help Tracy thought as she wrapped her arms around Molly’s waist, pulling her closer.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 02 - Spring

Margo x Irina

Irina had promised Margo spring. Perhaps not the spring that Westerners attributed to the deviations in Czechoslovakia, but as the most valuable rock in human history made its way to the inner solar system, the metaphorical snow was melting.

Margo was trying to hide her emotions about returning to Houston. Goldilocks and the portion of the profits President Korzhenko promised her for its successful capture were the only reason Irina would allow the greatest achievement of her career return to America.

That and she had said “we” in Leningrad.

She reached over and placed her hand on Margo’s thigh. Partly to reassure her. Partly to remind her who held the power in this relationship. She felt the tension running through Margo.

Summer was on its way. She’d be a very rich woman. Margo’s presence in America would give her the means to fix one of the bigger mistakes of her career. And when she returned to Star City, Irina would have one of the greatest minds in the world in her bed.

She rubbed her thumb back and forth against Margo’s thigh, until Margo cleared her throat and looked away.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 24 - Winter

Lenara x Margo

Margo had a solution that would make descent to Mars infinitely easier. It was finally time for her monthly meeting with Lenara Catiche. She hated the eagerness she was feeling to bring it to her. She felt like she did when she was a girl trying to impress her father. But this had to be how she negotiated her way out of this strange exile and into Star City.

She was so busy with constructing her arguments as she rushed toward the Administration Building that she completely forgot to look where she was stepping. She hit a patch of ice on the entryway steps and shit she was falling.

*

She woke up in the infirmary, Lenara staring down at her. Her entire body ached, her head especially. She ran her tongue along her teeth, relived that they all seemed to still be in her mouth. Lenara placed a soft hand on Margo’s face. “Margo, you had a fall.”

“Yeah,” she gritted out.

“Nothing is broken, but you will be bruised and we had to put some stitches in your forehead.”

Margo sat up quickly and ignored the dizziness. “Where are my notes?”

“Security picked them up when you fell. They are very good, but we’ll take it from here.”

“What? No. You will need my help.”

Lenara’s hand returned to Margo’s face thumb tracing her cheekbone. And shit, that hurt. She was going to have a black eye, she suspected. “Margo. We’ve been over this. You cannot be a visible part of this program. The Americans think you’re dead.”

Between the pain and her frustration, Margo felt tears gathering in her eyes. “That doesn’t mean I can’t - “

“Yes, it does,” Lenara said firmly. She brought her hand to Margo’s thigh. “Go home. Put some ice on your face. Rest. I will see you next month.” She gave Margo’s thigh a squeeze.

“Lenara, no! Nyet!”

Lenara ignored her and Margo swallowed a frustrated scream.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 17 - Harmony

Emma x Margo

It took until Emma was sick for several days in a row for Margo to realize something was missing in her life.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know that Emma being excellent at her job allowed her to excel at hers. It was like the music of her life was off. Not in the way she loved in jazz, the dissonance building something beautiful. It was an empty chord, missing its perfect fifth.

When Emma returned, Margo waited several days until she didn’t look wan and tired before inviting her for a drink in the evening. “Wow. Ms. Madison, are you breaking out the good brandy?”

“Yep.” She handed Emma the glass and watched as she swirled the liquor and she must have seen Margo do numerous times before she took a drink. “Y’know, at times like this, you can call me Margo.” She sat down next to Emma on the couch.

“What’s the occasion, Ms. - Margo?”

“I realized how necessary you are for my life when you were gone.” She tried to be subtle - at least for her. She placed her hand on Emma’s face, thumb stroking back and forth.

“I’m glad,” Emma replied. Margo felt her lean into her hand.

When she kissed her, she tasted like brandy and competence.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 14 - Sweetheart

Pam x Ellen

Becoming the girlfriend of the President of the United States was difficult.

Pam had been tempted to remain in Austin and maybe fly into Washington for important occasions. But spending more time apart wasn’t fair to either of them. That and the Secret Service explained how they would have to shut down traffic on her street and buy out her neighbors’ house in order to set up a command post. That wasn’t going to be fair to anybody.

Living in the Residence was its own difficulty. There were many days were she felt like a bird in a gilded cage. Her movement was restricted and if she ever left the White House, she had to followed by a minimum of four agents. There were days she never saw Ellen - she was up before Pam woke up and came to bed after she was asleep. When Ellen was able to spend time in the Residence, there was the constant threat of interruption. There were the death threats.

She was tempted some days to reach out to Larry and ask how he handled it. But the fact was that he didn’t. (Which was why she was here. With the love of her life.) One day, out of desperation, she called Nancy Reagan but hung up as soon as possible. Ironically, she had a great conversation with Raisa Gorbacheva during a state dinner.

There were great days. She genuinely enjoyed her visits to schools where children shared their poetry with her. (She never thought she would.) There were the celebrations in front of the White House when Ellen signed the Marriage Act. There was serving as the Grand Marshall of San Francisco’s Pride parade that year.

There were the times Ellen could call her sweetheart in public, in front of the press.

But she was so fucking happy when Ellen’s two terms were done.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 27 - Real

Molly x Patty

Molly knew what was bullshit.

The way NASA brought all these women to Houston and told them they could be astronauts was bullshit.

The promise of going to the moon was bullshit.

The fact that she was here, once again, waiting for the “Thanks for coming, ladies, but -“ was bullshit.

She knew what was real.

Patty’s mouth on hers, Patty’s fingers in her, the first sparks of her orgasm were real.

The rest was bullshit.

[moocowmoocow]

Femslash February 09 - Summer

Karen x Pam

The summer Karen bought The Outpost, Pam offered to show her all the tricks to keep the building functional that the owner would never know.

“So, plumbing is definitely going to be a problem,” Karen said with a frown.

“To put it mildly.”

“You sure I can’t convince you to stay?”

Pam shook her head, eyes bright. “It’s time for me to leave.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m headed to Austin. I’ve been accepted at UT’s MFA program.”

Karen smiled brightly. “That’s pretty much the opposite of bar tending for an astronaut dive bar.”

Pam gave a watery chuckle. “Yeah.”

Karen reached out and gave Pam’s arm a gentle squeeze. “I have to say I’m jealous. I never finished my degree.”

“There’s always time. Before I leave, I wanted to thank you. For taking me to Mission Control that time.”

“It was nothing. In fact, it was a little selfish of me. I was feeling - distant - from the whole astronaut wife culture. It was nice to be there with someone who cared from the outside.”

Pam had to look away and wiped some tears from her eyes.

“Oh no! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Karen said as she pulled Pam into a hug.

“It’s just - I haven’t talked to Ellen since then. It’s been difficult.”

Karen pulled Pam into her tighter. When Pam pulled away, she gave her forehead a kiss. “Good luck in Austin. I hope to read something of yours in the future.”

Pam squeezed her waist and left.

Karen was poem number 4.