#FUCK hairplugs

[jdmara]

the sexiest thing a man can do is go bald

[postoctobrist]

ok what do I do about being bald. there's lots of things keeping me from transitioning but that's the real elephant. I'm for real bald, rogaine is not gonna cut it at this point. what, am I going to wear wigs all the time?? in the bedroom??? do hairplugs actually work at affordable prices???? what am I supposed to do here

You can absolutely wear wigs all the time. Hair transplants sort of work (mine did) but are expensive as fuck. There is also option C, powering through being a bald woman

[alcubierre-warpin]

[namjoohyuk]

bestie what’s your fave jin look, hair, era, etc

hi kayla 💜 why yes thank you !!!! for asking me only the most important and intellectual question ever. i've scrolled through my jin pics folder and also put a lot of thought into this. i will give you my top 10.

10) JIN IN PINK BWL JACKET - idk what it was about this look but I was soooo obsessed that I looked for months to find a dupe that I could buy on aliexpress. it was giving both barbie AND ken.

9) BUZZCUT JIN - sorry to say I knocked glasses jin out of my top 10 to include this so ofc this is a recent add. I have lost so many boyfriends to the war but never was I simultaneously sobbing and licking my lips looking at someone who was heading off to the MILITARY. most idol boys with shaved heads??? ugly!!!! but not kim seokjin...he beat the allegations. HAIRPLUGS WHEREEEE??? RECEDING HAIRLINE WHEREEEE?????

8) JIN IN HEADBANDS - god i love it when he wears headbands bc it allows his eyebrows (which are my second fave features of his) to be more defined.

7) NAVY COSTUME PHOTOSHOOT JIN - listen....he had no right to ruin me like that!!!!! but i know...deep in my heart...this was a gift for ME. he heard me beg for a kdrama moment and he gave me one.

6) BARBIE BLONDE BADDIE JIN - he was giving fuck boy….looking all seductive…and i was.....into it.

5) JIN HOSTING WITH CHANYEOL - two of my fave boys were being so cute with each other....also CHEEKS!!!!!!!!

4) JIN IN THIS JACKET - fully convinced jin is the inspiration behind true beauty's lee suho bc who else can wear 30 different jackets and look GOOD every single time. i love this jacket especially bc he looks like he will meet you at namsan tower on a cold day in december and wrap you up in his jacket.

3) NO MORE DREAMS JIN - EYELINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love a boy who gives me a good muslim moment.

2) UN JIN - not to be too explicit but pussy wet begging for guts to be destroyed!!!!! idk what it was??? the hair pushed back like that??? the dress shirt???? he looked so assertive and i desperately wanted to be held

1) ON-BLACK SWAN JIN - *cue radio by lana del rey* nothing gets my heart beating as fast at THIS LOOK. this is the longest hair we've gotten from him and i cry everytime i think about how good he would look if he just let it grow. my dream is for him to pull a ryu junyeol level of servitude for a few months so praying he gets a lee jongsuk post-military discharge whore era until hiatus ends (pics for reference)

[clexa--warrior]

Hey, Have You Heard About This Coronavirus Thing? Crazy Shit, Right? (Ferret/Shower Cap)

History texts depicting this period will read like deranged Choose Your Adventure books written by sadists; no matter how frantically you flip backwards, you just can’t seem to find the page when you still had the option to vote for the really smart lady with the email server. Anyway, join me for a quick news round-up, it won’t take long, and when we’re done, I give you permission to run away to join a roving Thai monkey street gang.

(As always, find this post WITH nifty news links here: http://showercapblog.com/hey-have-you-heard-about-this-coronavirus-thing-crazy-shit-right/)

For those of you just waking up from a Rip Van Winkle nap, the United States is facing a massive, coast-to-coast, health crisis, whose tragic consequences have exploded exponentially because our Idiot Manchild President really believed, in that churning campground septic tank he calls a mind, that protecting his personal approval ratings by understating the problem was more important than the health and safety of the American public. I don’t know what you can call that but murder. On the one hand, it’s weird to say “wow, the President murdered a bunch Americans through boneheaded, unforgivably selfish, neglect,” but we already saw him get away with precisely that crime in Puerto Rico, so here we are.

Now, I have come to expect malice from the federal government under Hairplug Himmler, but sometimes their capacity for raw, senseless, evil still shocks me. This is my way of saying that, until they got fucking caught, the Department of, and Someone Should Slap the Word Out of Their Filthy Mouths, Justice attempted to remove CDC fliers offering potentially life-saving information regarding the coronavirus from...immigration courtrooms. My God. What a small but potent horror. Feels like the work of an ambitious intern in Stephen Miller’s office, doesn’t it? Trying to impress the boss? Just a sinister little trick, to spread a little more pain, a little more misery, a little more death in an already vulnerable, and whatta-coincidence-nonwhite, community? Fuck these awful, awful, people.

It seems President Liposuction Clinic Dumpster has been calling up leading Taliban terrorists on a secret U.S. kill-or-capture list, presumably to trade tips n’ tricks on how to undermine the USA at home and abroad. Now, negotiating with these murderous dirtbags is a big diplomacy no-no (and of course Donnie Dotard got rolled anyway) but in all honestly, if I had access to a secret kill list contact sheet, I’d probably give in to the temptation to make some prank calls. “Is your refrigerator running? Yeah? Are you sure it’s not a FLEET OF DRONES ABOVE YOU RIGHT NOW?”

For Jeff Sessions, the wages of sin turned out to be a faceful of Trump-branded fecal matter, as the Candycorn Skidmark, whose campaign Ol’ Beauregard embraced way back before fascism was cool in conservative circles, endorsed his opponent in the coming Alabama Senate runoff. How must it feel to have been the very fellow who flipped the switch on the Rube Goldberg/Mousetrap Board Game device that destroyed America, and to watch the machine work its destructive magic for years, only to realize it’s also got one special crotch punt in store for just you personally. I’d feel bad for Bilbo Bigot, if it he weren’t, y’know, one of the very worst people alive.

Alex Jones got arrested for drunk driving, and, upon his release, got right back to work selling...sigh...selling some bullshit toothpaste that he’s telling the rubes magically cures the coronavirus. Authorities are cracking down on Jones and fellow charlatan Jim Bakker over their odious snake oil peddling enterprises, but I don’t know what’s more shocking and disappointing to me, that there are such vile fuckwads in the world, who seek to profit off the fear of the misinformed during times of crisis, or that said fuckwads have so many blind, willing, disciples?

Speaking of fuckwads, Ron Johnson seems to have backed down, for now at any rate, from his quest to stage a show trial for Hunter Biden in the U.S Senate. And that’s awesome and all, but never forget how ready, how eager, RoJo has been, to corruptly manipulate the vast powers of the government for his democracy-stomping Turdlord’s political benefit. Ron is the kind of fellow you’d have found stamping documents outside trains bound for Dachau.

But yeah, I suppose the big story is still that coronavirus thing. Great choice on evolution’s part, the way symptoms don’t necessarily manifest right away, so we can spread that shit around without knowing we’re even infected. Anyway, I made sure to thoroughly disinfect tonight’s blog before posting, and medical professionals inform me that though the virus can linger on plastic and metal surfaces for as long as days, it cannot survive on a poo joke, so please rest easy, knowing you can safely consume this content in comfort. Unless you're reading it next to somebody with the coronavirus, but that's on you, kid.

The Shart Administration has actually slowed progress in this crucial fight, by classifying high-level coronavirus meetings, because they’re more worried about congressional oversight of their crimes n’ fuckups than they are about OUR LIVES, and y’know what, I do believe I’ll be voting Democrat this November.

And of course, many conservatives are more concerned with blaming the virus on the Chinese than preventing its spread; by gum, there’s no need to abandon yer principles, even when your ineptitude is getting countless folks sick and/or killed! “We may be a cabal of dangerously incompetent assclowns, but let none forget that we are also RACIST assclowns!”

With the stock market finally catching up to the rest of the world in noticing a pudding-brained twit had inexplicably been placed in charge of the most powerful nation in history, Pumpkin Spice Pol Pot oozed into the Oval Office for a prime time speech, and if his goal was “fuck up the entire world as much as humanly possible in ten short minutes,” then he succeeded beyond his wildest imaginings.

It was a speech that completely failed to reassure, instead reminding the world that this drooling manbaby, this bathtub drain hair clog in an ill-fitting suit, truly is President of the Entire United Fucking States, and not only is he light years out of his element but he’s probably spending most of his time practicing his “the world is ending, you have to go out with me now” phone call to Salma Hayek rather than pursuing desperately-needed solutions.

Despite being on teleprompter, with the text of the fucking speech right fucking in front of him, Dorito Mussolini somehow managed to catastrophically misrepresent his own administration’s policies, dropping one more cartoon anvil on the stock market’s already-throughly-bludgeoned ballsack. This is, of course, on top of nonsensical non-solutions like banning travel from Europe, when the virus had already had weeks to spread throughout the country thanks to presidential bungling and neglect.

For 73 years, this cretin has somehow never encountered a problem he couldn’t lie, buy, or bully his way out of, but COVID-19 doesn’t care how much money your daddy gave you, little man. And may I say, on behalf of the thousands who are about to become sick, fuck you. Fuck you eternally with a rusty shovel, for daring to take on such an important job without the skills, temperament, or character to execute its duties. Asshole.

In contrast, Smilin’ Joe Biden gave a speech of his own; calm, collected, solemn, and filled with concrete steps to address the problems facing the nation. And America collectively went, “Oh right, it’s actually highly abnormal to have a gibbering, rectum-mouthed, dolt for a President, and we can actually have a decent, competent, one again! Soon!” It was like leadership porn. I got aroused.

Meanwhile, our already-hopelessly-overmatched Golf Cheat in Chief is multitasking, lobbing missiles at Iran-backed militias in Iraq. I’m just hoping the buttons on his desk are clearly labeled, y’know? Or at least that there’s somebody hanging around who can tackle him before he bombs Seattle and launches 500 respirators at Tehran.

So, um, in the midst of this once-in-generation shitstorm, I guess Sarah Palin dressed up in a bear suit to perform “Baby Got Back” on a reality television program. I’m not a religious person, honestly, but I’m increasingly open to the idea that there is a God, and that s/he’s been on a meth bender since mid-2016.

Social distancing is the zany new anti-dance craze sweeping the nation as we all do our damndest to not get sick and die! As a result, public gatherings are getting called off left and right. March Madness, MLB, NBA, PGA, SXSW, Broadway...personally, I don’t think I fully appreciated the scope of this crisis until I saw the XFL shut down their season. Like, are we even America anymore without one billionaire’s sad attempt to reboot his once-failed vanity project?

As sensible organizations all over the world made painful but obviously necessary sacrifices to, y’know, slow the spread of a deadly disease and save lives, naturally the Velveeta Vulgarian was among the last holdouts, canceling his precious hate rallies only grudgingly, because the safety of even his own fervent base is secondary to the sugar rush of their rageful cheers, filling, if only for a moment, that empty space within him where most people have a soul.

Now more than ever, I am brimming over with gratitude that we took the House back in 2018. Thank god there’s a little leadership, a little accountability, a little common frickin’ sense in Washington now. And thank god for Katie Porter, one of the standouts in a freshman class packed with absolute ass-kickers, cornering the CDC chief into exercising his legal authority to make coronavirus testing free for every American. Imagine if Kevin McCarthy were running the House right now. He’d be fleeing from reporters, in mismatched loafers, trying to sell the public on a bill bailing out nothing but Trump University and Marm-a-Lago.

Well, the Emperor of Hemorrhoids finally buckled and declared (acknowledged) a state of emergency over the coronavirus, which is admittedly a pleasant change from his previous “do everything I possibly can to help the fucker spread” position. We’re still woefully behind, and god only knows how deeply the virus has penetrated while the doddering old bastard diddled and dawdled, but the good news is, the President of the United States finally moved his bloated ass out of the road so we can get to work cleaning up his mess, which is, I suppose, as close to an act of kindness as he’s come in his entire misspent, treacherous, life.

In the middle of today’s press conference, Vice President Mike Pants paused to give Boss Turdworm a rhetorical handjob seemingly designed to last through an entire 14-day quarantine. Jeeeeesus. Mikey Hairshirt was a man once. Not much of one, to be certain, but at least he didn’t have to worry about the possibility of bored schoolchildren pouring salt on him, which would of course prove swiftly fatal in his current state.

A reporter asked Government Cheese Goebbels, “Hey, if you’re not too busy fellating yourself over fucking up slightly less than you’ve been fucking up for weeks, why the fuck did you close down the pandemic office, you nation-wrecking clod?” and he whinged that the question was “nasty,” before reiterating his refusal to take responsibility for the things that are, objectively, his fault. I truly do not understand how this trembling coward’s approval rating isn’t 0%

So Nancy Pelosi spent the week trying to hammer out an emergency bill with Steve Mnuchin, but Republicans naturally balked at many necessary measures. It’s a tricky spot for the GOP; they can’t risk the mass-extermination of the underpaid labor/consumer force that keeps their donor class filthy rich, but doing anything to improve working folks’ lives is just instinctually anathematic to them. But at the time of posting, it does appear as though a deal has been reached, let’s hope no spray-tanned morons fuck it up, right?

In conclusion, I am sick of typing the word “coronavirus,” and you are sick of reading it, so let’s let’s all retreat to our quarantines for the weekend, okay? Enjoy the solitude! Read that novel you bought back in college! Watch that 425-minute Russian film set in a fish cannery! Hey, you can even peruse the archives at showercapblog.com if you feel like reliving just how the fuck it all came to this! Anyway, if you don’t hear from me for a bit, fear not, I’m turning production of this blog over to Jared Kushner, I’m sure he’ll figure it out.

[scolek]

my knuckles....

my fingers....

why wont this doll let into her head

i tried needle nosed plierfs then a small crochet hook then a nail file with a pointy thing in her head and then i cut a hole in the back of the head and then i started to use surgical clamps and she still has fucking hairplugs everywhere. 

[kadyshackkk-blog]

Final Reckoning Episode One Review plus a little info from seasons past.

Hello World! Mtv’s Hit The Challenge Returned Tuesday July 10, 2018 at 9pm! This season is “the end of the challenge as we know it”. Which as of right now I’m calling total b.s. since well mtv the last few season has been “recreating” older seasons ie; The Challenge Invasion of the champions, a very sad and terrible attempt to recreate the iconic The Ruins. Then we went into Dirty 30, the longest season in existence and a horrible rip off of Free Agents which in my opinion was the last great season of the show. In the dirty 30 we had something called the purge aka lets fuck Darrell over and allow a bunch of idiots to run the show. Yes I am still bitter because Darrell was robbed out of a title that season and instead our winners were a racist and an anti feminist douche lord, I mean Camila and Jordan. Then we slide into Vendettas after that tragic second season of Champs V stars, which we won’t even talk about since it was a bunch of d list celebrities who i didnt even know and well the terrell owens aka the biggest bitch in the nfl. Moving along, on Vendettas we received a much needed invasion of new people from big brother and mtv uk! Be warned I have never watched mtv Uk shows or any big brother so I had zero idea who these people were but I was excited to see them! We also got from season 5 of are you the one Kam, Eddie, and Alicia. I loved that season of ayto and the people they chose to come onto vendettas made total sense. But what didn’t make any sense at all was the poor get rid of eddie they did. Now I will only say this once and the source that told me this is very credible since he was on their season of ayto he also doesn’t like either person involved however he dislikes eddie more. Simple fact is Alicia Lied, plan and simple. There was never a restraining order or anything of that nature. You can look it up online its public information in every state. Moving on from that, the additions from the uk were all very attractive, and before you gasp and say even Kyle?! Yes even Kyle , I feel like he looks better in person then he does on tv. The fights that season we’re beyond annoying . This was my face anytime Kailah or nicole spoke or were on my tv screen  

I give them both a chance every season they are on but they always make me regret giving said chance. The luggage throwing incident pissed me the fuck off. & Before you all go WeLL cArA dID iT To JOrdAn guess what she put a waterproof bag of his clothes in water omg get over it. Jemmeye Kailah & Britni Ganged up on kayleigh because of a rumor about her and bananas that Devin started to get Johnny thrown into elimination. It was not okay, it is never okay to touch someone elses belongings ever. I do not care, her stuff was broken and none of the actual apologized for it. 

Now for what you came for my review of the Challenge Final Reckoning Episode 1

First off I was hoping this season was a team season sadly it was just a rip off of the Rivals series which was only decent for rivals 1 and 2. Rivals 3 was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy. In the beginning we see everyone show up and Tj is all like guess what your partner is buried and you have to find them! oh and the last two teams will be sent home ending their time in south africa. Me as a view knowing damn well tj is full of shit 

We see Zach dig up his partner Amanda first. Listen I was very excited to hear that Amanda was coming back this season! I really was until all the twitter beef with cara, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you know exactly what I am talking about. (hint him and amanda won the challenge wooooooooh)

Here is everyones partnerships.

Zach & Amanda; Their beef seems a little forced since it’s about Amanda “making up” lies about jenna that even jenna confirmed was true. This team will go far if Zach learns how to work well with women.

Angela & Faith; I honestly don’t understand their beef, really over tor’i really. irrelevant ass team. Angela doesn’t have that same energy she did with Alicia when it comes to Shane and Kam. They won’t go far unless someone (cough cough angela sleeps with someone in power, pulling a veronica in the ruins when she hooked up with my favorite toothbrush twin evan.)

Dj Bald I mean Brad & hair plugs pathological liar I mean kyle; THIS TEAM MAKES ZERO SENSE YALL DEADASS MADE SOME SHIT UP. UHM HELLOOO DARRELL TAYLOR DID NOT WHOOP THAT ASS ON THE RUINS FOR ZERO REASON. Like mtv please stop calling kyle , he literally makes me want to stab him daily.

Cara & Marie; Listen these two have serious dislike for each other over a fucking tweet cara liked & it makes sense they are together. I honestly think this team will do well if Marie Actually fucking tries which i think she will. Tbh marie did campaign to be caras Partner.. However I feel like we as viewers deserved a coral cara team. Those two are both very strong women who need to work out their issues and become civil because I personally love them both.

Ct & Veronica; An og team, ct called v weak but she won more daily challenges then the majority of the girls on dirty 30 . A team to actually fear if they try and win 

Derrick & Tori; Yasssss my boo derrick is back!!!!!! Don’t tell tyler but i adore derrick and think hes amazing. I really like tori as well but her taste in men is just as questionable as mine. Back story tori cheated on derrick with jordan. therefor they don’t like each other.

Bananas & ??? : THIS LITERALLY COULD BE ANYBODY. I’m hoping its sarah so he can break his curse and retire because honestly no one can touch his record unless Landon came out of retirement or if production doesn’t keep fucking over darrell

Joss & Sylvia the sheep; Joss is Hot , and he voted sheep into the elimination and she got mad. damn well knowing she would’ve done the same thing. they do great.

Kam & Melissa; I love this team, this “rivalry” started over a misunderstanding I’m hoping they do well...

Natalie & Paulie; I don’t care enough to waste my time

Nelson & Shane; I’m actually started to like nelson, my dislike for him comes from my loyalty to tyler.. I love shane he is the sassy gay bff that I need in my life. This team will do well if nelson and shane both keep themselves in check

Mama Day & Jozea; I’ve never watched big brother but this team is by far my favorite big brother pairing, I follow both on twitter and they make me laugh daily. underdogs i stan

Britni & Chuck; The hotmess express team. Clearly still feelings there, chuck sucks for what he did to her, they will need to find a way to get past their issues

Jenna & Jemmeye; One of the best moves in challenge history caused this feud. they will do well, jemmeyes brain and jennas brawn.

Kailah & Kayleigh; Failah likes to bully others kayleigh was her victim last season. they’ll probably be out pretty early..

Now to the results of the challenge

Amanda and Zach won.

I’m not to sure about the rest of the order except for the fact Day & Jozea came in last but before jem & Jenna and Chuck & britni.

it was chucks fault him and brit lost 

it was jennas fault her and jem lost

but was anyone really in shock

So then we hear bananas yelling for help since his partner left due to family emergency everyone goes digs him up and if it was up to me he wouldve been sent “home” and not brit and chuck since they almost beat day and jozea.. after they get bananas hoe ass out tj announces that amanda and zach are able to send another team home! And out of all the teams these two dumb asses pick day and jozea. like uhm helllooooooo!!! ya’ll deadass had the chance to send send strong teams home... I can’t the stupidity of these two i can’t. SO  then the three teams leave and “go home”. Everyone goes to the house and already a fight breaks out between shane and angela, over a fucking shelf. Homegirl didn’t have the energy with shane like she did with Alicia , but we already knew she was a fraud. Then cut to outside where Joss and amanda are already flirting with each other. I will give credit is due, Amanda is a beautiful girl but has a very ugly soul and joss is very smart to hookup with her, camera time is everything and why not hook up with one of the most dramatic cast members ever. Cut to Syliva saying this could go great for her alliance or terribly for her alliance at least shes smart. The Que the amanda and joss makeout session. Then we cut to bananas cara and hair plugs talking about cara and kyle. Everything out of kyles mouth is a lie and garbage. Kyle states hes gonna sleep with other people and caras like cool whatever . The cut to faith and hairplugs making out, then faith gets into hottub and johnny being johnny brings it up in front of cara, and cara pulls a queen move by being like if he doesnt want me im not gonna wait around. boy bye best choice shes ever made. Then baby girl proceeded to go into a room and make herself look bad by trying to get at paulie. Like oh no baby what is you doing go to sleep and leave him alone..

Then we cut to the best part of the night in my opinion, first we see melissa walk in and try to be civil with kailah, failah wants zero part in it but melissa still tries because melissa wants to be nice then failah pushes melissa and melissa molly whopped her then they were pulled apart 

Everyone but kailah stans on twitter 

Then the teams who were “sent home” arrive at the redemption house and tj explains some shit i wasn’t paying attention because i didnt care at that point 

Then they go to the photoshoot day and Tj shows up which is never good..

Tells melissa and kailah they are both out ..

Now we dont know kam and kayleighs fate, we find out next week..

Over all this episode was awesome , the cliffhanger was needed , we had a fight some hook ups and a twist.

this season will be interesting to say the least. 

[theblogchelor]

The Bachelorette Week Nine aka Men Tell All The Things We’re No Longer Interested In

Here’s What Happened Monday

For those of you who don’t know, The Bachelor franchise does this cute little shtick called the Men Tell All where, in lieu of a real episode, they bring back all the season’s rejected contestants to rehash old grudges and remind people why they’re interesting before they all go on Bachelor In Paradise. Yawn.

Chris Harrison promises an unforgettable (but likely very forgettable) night of drama for which they considered beefing up security, but didn’t. To kick off said drama, we are treated with ten minutes of filler from past Men-Tell-All’s starring men I’ve never heard of nor cared about in my life.

After the commercial break we are reintroduced to Rachel’s former men again. There are a few new hairstyles (and hairplugs… Matt), but most things are the same. Diggy adjusts his bowtie, Whaboom guy does his thing, Blake is still sadly only an “aspiring” drummer, and Dean just sits there being young and beautiful.

DeMario, sad clown, guy accused of sexually assaulting a fellow castmate on Bachelor In Paradise, tries to regain his dignity by claiming that the girlfriend who got him eliminated from The Bachelorette was merely a sidechick. Classy. Some dude named Jamey accuses him of hurting oh so many people, a point lost while everyone thought, “who the hell is this guy?”

Kenny The Dad and Your Racist Uncle Lee

Of course we have to deal with the Lee/Kenny drama again, which we were all happy to leave in the past as this season’s major racism-for-kicks embarrassment. All the men take the side of good guy Kenny, except DeMario who defends his fellow villain.

After making Kenny out to be the best man and father ever (including a surprise appearance by his adorable daughter, who Kenny either knew was coming or was kidnapped and brought to set), Lee offers a shallow apology for being a douche. No one is having it though – not even Chris Harrison, who fans the flames by bringing up Lee’s old tweet comparing the NAACP to the KKK. Lee painstakingly acknowledges that his tweet (and maybe some of his behavior) was racist and apologizes. The other men accept and vow to try to rehabilitate his racist ass.

But seriously, the winners? Anthony, Josiah, Kenny, and all the guys who challenged systemic racism on national television. Slow clap.

Dean The Real Boy

Chris Harrison invites Dean onstage, strokes his velvet camo tux jacket, and mutters “everybody loves some Dean.” We get to watch the Dean highlight reel: the weird “once I go black I’ll never go back” line, the weird sandbox thing, the weird dad thing, his swift dumping. What a legacy.

Dean looks older to me, a little more comfortable in his skin, a little fuller in the face, a little stupider in the hair. He reveals that he’ll be on Bachelor In Paradise, which is great because he’ll finally be close in age to some of his fellow contestants. (Nick’s rejected 23-year-olds, I’m looking at you.)

Rachel comes out, Dean asks her why she told him she loved him before kicking him off, she says she did love him, he says “k”, they hug and then it’s blessedly over.

Lee Again, Seriously

Rachel says, “I’ve watched the tapes now so fuck you, Lee,” and then it’s blessedly over.

Adam, For Some Reason, So By Default Also Matt

Rachel tells America they didn’t get to see the good stuff with these two, but we still don’t care.

F*ckin FRED Oh My God What A Waste

Fred is still hurt (AS AM I) that Rachel couldn’t grow up and let him be the beautiful hunk of man that he is and was and always will be.

Bloopers

For me, this is easily the most interesting part of the show, for it gives us a tiny glimpse into the untouched world behind the scenes of The Bachelorette. Things break. People fall. Dean sticks a nasty wad of gum behind his ear for his confessional, full-on Violet Beauregarde style. Dead Eric looks even more corpsely as the fake light taped to the ceiling above him falls. It is all so eadearingly real, which all the more reminds us that it’s all so unsettlingly fake.

Next Week

Next week we finally get to see the finale. Will Rachel pick the sleaze, the noncommit, or the dead man?

[yakumtsaki]

last giant batch of ratings! ty all for playing my dudes

Johnny/Ripp: 8/10

hmmmm i havent even considered this b4. its def cute but i feel like it would end in disaster without the balancing power of Oph?? and u kno, why go J/R when u can go J/R/O. i like it tho, it would make for a good coming of age desert road trip movie. like Y Tu Mamá También

Dirk/Angela: over my dead body/10

the fact that maxis put hot ass Dirk with Lilith was offensive enough but then u go and couple him with the even lamer twin. no way in hell. to answer the other anon’s q re: Dirk headcanons, i mean do u even need headcanons to love him? orphaned from his mom and stuck with a useless artist dad that doesnt pay his bills but still an ambitious go-getter who works super hard and looks good doing it. i mean compare the maturity and class of his bio with that of fucking toddlers Lilith and Ang. also embarrassingly too hot for them

Darren/Dina: 10/10

i.am. crying. u literally cant pay enough for this comedy material. avant-garde snob Darren high on shrooms talking about soviet constructivism while Dina is digging through Darleen’s jewel boxes

Dina/Malcolm: 10/10

perfection <3 as u may kno i love Malcolm ever since i married him to Vic back in the Union days of old. i see Malc as someone with absolutely no depth but like proud of that fact. i think he and Dina would be a total mess like madly-in-love-jealous-of-everything-that-breathes-throwing-fine-crystal-ashtrays-at-each-other and im here for it

Bella/Mortimer: ugh/10

the iconic ts1 version gets an obvious 10. ts2 version gets an eyeroll and a dramatic sigh. as we’ve already covered ts2 Mort is the absolute worst and the death of all good things. does Bella deserve better than a pyromaniac who has a positive memory of her abduction and, lbr, probably orchestrated it? and also looks like Darren Aronofsky? well the decision is up to u. as far as im concerned the only ship Mort deserves is that viking funeral one they light on fire. u kno what im talking about

Dina/Michael: -infinity/10

CREEP ALERT. probably another unintentional maxis age fuck up but i cant get over it

Nina/Don: 7/10

much like Nina, i find myself into this against my better judgement. i wish they could work it out somehow?? they just look so good together u kno

Cass/Darren: 8/10

yea i can def see this working out. get u a woman who not only knows her soviet constructivism but prob also owns a few buildings of the trend. money problems=solved

Ripp/Rick: 5/10

I GUESS. i mean their names together sound like a horror comedy. Ripp has actual and serious problems tho, as opposed to Rick who truly does not. unless freakishly overgrown eyelashes count. so yea idt Ripp would stand for Rick’s whining.  ia with the later anon, i def see Rick and Lil hitting it off and having a messy dramafest of a relationship where they like threaten to stab each other with their gothic collectible knives but dont take them out of their mint condition boxes

Brandi/Dina: 3/10

nah dont see it. both overwhelmingly str8. if i squint really hard i can see Dina as maybe slightly bicurious but that’s as far as it goes. maybe one time after girls night out when theyre both wine drunk and Brandi is like ‘gosh, its been a long time since i had so much fun :)’ and one thing leads to another and then they never talk about it again. longshot tho

John/Erin: 6/10

not bad but im not into these ‘super-serious-dark-dude/bubbly-naive-girl’ pairs, too old hollywood for me. i like him better with hippy freakshow Natasha

Desdemona/Bottom: 9/10

CUTE. as teenage sweethearts only tho cause Desdemona is too bland for Bottom in the long run, both looks and personality-wise, and Bottom has a bright future ahead

Mercutio/Tybalt: 7/10

i feel like the stress of dealing with Tybalt would cause the Monty hair loss gene to activate in Merc’s late teens and then Tybalt would dump him for it and be like ‘call me when the hairplugs are in’

Jimmy/Erik: 10000/10 

the anon who started it all hitting us with the MOST ADORABLE SHIT. LOVE IT. the 2 mysterious lone wolves getting it on and its us against the world. somehow getting them together never occurred to me?? def keeping them in mind for when i do a uni shoot

thats it for the ratings, hope u guys had fun! back to nll-ing

[losers-detained]

Here’s somethign for starters, has anoyone tried shutting the fuck up and actually realizing that maybe a mental health scare means youre surrounded by assholes and/or you just suck?  It’s not my fault your boyfriends never compolimented you.  You can thank your anorexia for that one, mayhaps? People are out here fighting for their lives, trying to bring about acutal change but there are those who’d rather be sad and cause a violent fuss because their hairplug loans have since run null and void. Is that hard for you sir? Sigh. Hopefully you’ll say yes. Ah, but of course, the people who made fun of the ones who have complete visibility over their bank accounts and are able to build their sad business a website so they feel like theyre apart of all of it. Maybe for another day. 

[afrodyetee]

Russia can hack Hillary’s emails but they can’t leak a Trump dick pic just for fun?  I know Trump is Putin’s bitch and all, but can’t they just fuck with him a bit?  See how far his loyalty really goes?  All I’m sayin is that Stormy Daniels sitting over there with a phone filled with cheeto-flavored tea and y’all haven’t tried to hack her yet?  What, I gotta be a rich fat white con artist with fucked up hairplugs that still make me have to do a combover to make requests? It’s been like a year of this trump presidency bullshit and the only flying saucers that have been verified are those giant black ass holes Stormy Daniels calls her pupils. This dude hasn’t even told us who killed JFK. I thought this dumb fuck was gonna be messy enough to spill all of the white house tea, but nah, his little bitch Kushner is the one selling the secrets while Trump overdoses on Diet Lean every night while watching Don Lemon. And Paul Ryan out here fucking black chicks on the side? And y’all care about gun control? Guns ain’t goin no fuckin where, lol.  Trump said two things about guns and the NRA showed up in the oval office that night. Let’s focus on the real issues, like how the Don couldn’t get a professional slut to fuck him twice. I mean, that’s just sad. How can you be the president if you don’t have any game??

I just realized why I stopped using this site with a keyboard. Yeah...back to the app.  Way too easy to just fucking fill this white box with nonsense.