#GOD AND I FORGOT THE EMPHASIS PLACED ON FRIENDSHIP. IN THIS KINDA FUCKED WAY THAT SPEAKS TO ME SO MUCH

[hongism]

hi caly boo its ur 🌊 anon! i finally finished the most brilliant darkness and oh my lawd i’m in spain without the s. to put it shortly: U DID NOT DISAPPOINT BESTIE, and it seems unreal that u and ur mind and this fic even exists bc every moment is just polished to perfection, while simultaneously every character is polished to a sort of imperfect perfection(?). i have so many questions and things to say idek where to start, and tho im not good with words and even worse at deciphering hidden meanings, here are just some of my thoughts that i remember from the story.

hello my dear!!! eee im gonna answer separately since i think i’ll be very long-winded as usual but first of all thank you so much :(( this fic is actually very full of subliminal messages and hidden nuances that are weaved throughout which i think could be quite confusing so i apologize for that! if i had managed my time better, i would have adjusted when i started the fic to account for managing those aspects of the fic but alas i’m terrible at time management and i suck so. anyways.

first of all, ngl halfway into the story i lowkey forgot this was a wooyoung fic bc SANNN and also bc wooyoung appeared like 3 times lol. even after it finishing all that, i still had my doubts as to why this is a wooyoung fic, or more like why is san this significant in a wooyoung fic. im still a bit slow on these pls forgive me and im just curious why u made it like that.

i think yeah the most interesting thing about this fic is the emphasis on san over wooyoung. and when looking over it yeah i could have switched san and wooyoung’s characters and called it a day, but wooyoung really in my mind acts as the integral turning point for decisions made in the story. 

the goal with the fic wasn’t really to be hyperfocused on the pairing itself, but rather the emotions and thought processes of each character (aside from wooyoung). wooyoung was kept intentionally mysterious and a bit set apart from the rest of the fic because his role in story was moreso an abstract of hestia, the goddess of the hearth and home. wooyoung’s character appeared in times where y/n was struggling with the thought of home or adjusting to the new changes in her life! wooyoung’s pairing itself was actually intended to be solely platonic at first, but as the story went on i thought having mc develop feelings for him added another turning point in the fic!

moving on, the second biggest question i had is the whole hestia!wooyoung and cafe aurora situation. i did a bit of reading on hestia and only found out that she was the goddess of hearth, which might explain the fireplace and the kind of homey feeling to the cafe. and ‘cafe aurora not really existing to most’ part, which was already hinted at wooyoung randomly disappearing, mc never seeing the cafe before or wooyoung only bringing people he wants into it. i get that him inviting mc must suggest her significance to him, but why was he so adamant about his friends not mentioning him or the cafe to mc before that? wooyoung is quite a mysterious character i think, and given that this fic is supposed to be about him, it’s a bit odd that there’s still so many things left unknown, but its kinda cool that way nonetheless and im guessing u would also like to explain that further outside of the story too.

i think my biggest regret about this fic is the fucking summary.... i wrote that summary well before i even started writing the fic thinking it would go in that direction but it didn’t. and since this fic was for a collab, i left the summary as is because i genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out a better one. but i’m trying to figure out a better one. but i really fucking hate the current summary because it’s not at all what the fic is truly about and i hate it.

however, i don’t hate the fic itself, and the reason why i don’t is because i got to play with both my writing style and how i displayed the story. for this collab we were asked to pick a greek god and one of the seven deadly sins, and i selected hestia and sloth. and initially i had intended to have sloth be represented by the reader’s depression, and wooyoung be a more ‘real’ depiction of hestia. i shifted gears very early on in the fic but what it became is moreso abstract realizations in the characters.

san’s character is meant to be this idea of sloth, and it’s mentioned several times that he doesn’t want to move forward, he wants to go slow, he wants to stop moving so fast through life, and those things point to him being a depiction of sloth

wooyoung’s was harder to encapsulate in a more abstract way but you hit the nail on the head really with the homey feeling of the cafe. beyond that, mc talks about just naturally feeling at ease and comfortable with how things are with wooyoung and being around him, and he takes up this role of being the likeable, warm, cozy, comforting character. it all comes to a head in the last scene where he brings both y/n and san into the cafe.

and again wooyoung’s character is meant to be most mysterious and abstract, but if i had had more time to fully flesh out the fic, i think i would have liked to touch more on him. at the same time however i left it more open-ended and open to interpretation. the significance in him inviting mc in and not being mentioned by the others sooner is twofold. one; the others never really had any reason whatsoever to mention wooyoung. he was a friend outside the circle who never joined in with them when mc was around. i personally in my own friendships don’t mention friends outside the circle by name or anything, just kinda vaguely talking about them unless im certain the people know who this person is. the concept of wooyoung having to invite mc in was more nuanced and vague as well, intentionally so, but that was moreso meant to represent this idea of ‘you can’t make a home somewhere where you aren’t invited’ so y/n couldn’t fully make a home of the place she was in without being invited in and welcomed in, but again that’s something i wish i had more time to fully flesh out.

the hongjoong speech about love (and also the interaction with seonghwa after that) deserves a standing ovation of its own 👏 unfortunately, or not, im not actually going through the emotional turmoil regarding love the same way as hj or mc to be able to fully relate to his words, but the whole ‘if you dont love what u see in the mirror then u dont love it’ mentality really hit me hard, and i’d like to hang onto that when i make decisions in the future haha thank you wise caly! seonghwa and hongjoong’s story is also beautiful, and just like mc said, the more i look at it the more it hurts :’)

the hongjoong speech about love was meant to be something very jaded and specific to his worldview. it actually isn’t wholly how i view love personally, but it was a perfect description to how both he and y/n perceived the love in their own lives. mostly thanks to their own emotional turmoils. the mentality of the mirror quote is something that i think i also struggle with, which is why i included it. it’s hard to do, but even in friendships, i think it’s necessarily to stop and look at the person you were before this relationship and then the person during this relationship. if you don’t love the one you are now, then maybe it’s a sign to reflect and see the bigger picture, so that was a lil reminder to myself and i’m glad it touched you as well!!!

“do you love him, or do you love the idea of being in love with him?” - haha i see what u did there (or maybe i didnt please dont laugh at me if i didnt). its still so good everytime i see it bc i keep finding myself loving just the idea of things time and time again even when this makes total sense to me oof :/

heh yeah again with the more abstract concepts this one was more direct and ‘cliche’ but i fully wanted that cliche in the fic because i thought it suited the situation where mc was constantly struggling with a version of san that she thought she loved vs the version of san she got every time they were together

despite how enlightened she seems to be, mc still made the same choices, and i wanna smack her for it and pat her back at the same time. and maybe also bc of the fact that she feels so differently for the two men that i feel like no ending could really justify her decision, so ending in the vague is probably the best. your ending might kind of allude to someone more than the other already, and tho i still don’t think he’s the best one for her based on just my pov on love, i kinda agree with you. but again, this raises the question of, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic?

and yeah the whole knife in the chest at the end of it all is that she was still too scared to face the music so to speak. but really i would say she made the same choices up until the conversation on the balcony with san. and you’re absolutely right, the reason i chose the ending the way i did was because either way, there’s no justification. and actually although it might seems like i was alluding to someone specific, san being in the cafe at the very end was moreso to represent that as much as they fought, he still very much loved her and wanted to be loved by her. it was kinda an open casket ending there were no nails in the coffin, the choice between wooyoung and san still stands and an argument could be made for either of them! i think this is a fic that i could see myself revisiting one day with two endings - one for san, and one for wooyoung.

something i didn’t mention earlier about wooyoung’s character being left intentionally mysterious was that he was representing a new and budding love. the honeymoon phase where you’re falling for someone you don’t even really know. you are the reader aren’t meant to really know who wooyoung is because of that beyond what you read about him, so his past and such was left out intentionally to represent that idea of ‘hey wow im in love with a stranger!’ whereas san was this gritty love that’s bad for you. and there are pros and cons to each just as with anything!!

so,,,, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic? well i picked wooyoung for my collab so he was one of the main focuses of the fic regardless of which direction i took with it. as for why wooyoung wasn’t more forward, i already answered that but !!! i view it as both a wooyoung fic and a san fic. both are highlighted characters with main pairing roles!

i literally just woke up to write this and am going back to sleep ahaha so i apologize if this makes no sense. i somehow felt like i’ve read so much yet so little at the same time, maybe bc there are still so many things i havent fully made sense of, and that’s where i hope you come in and enlighten me. i still stand by my word that this fic deserves so much more recognition despite the lack of explicit smut bc of how much more you’ve explored through character building. love you caly and thank u for working so hard <3 — 🌊

no worries my beloved i hope you go back to sleep and get lots and lots of rest!! and i hope my response helps enlighten the not so clear things as well dgjdklfg but really thank you so much. it was a long fic and hard to get through at times, but as a whole, i’m proud of it and what i created, so thank you for recognizing my efforts and appreciating them 🥺

[kymanss2018]

Gift for Kirbypegasister

Kyle, Stan, and Kenny sat on the ground near the Christmas tree in Stan’s living room, idly exchanging conversation as they waited on Cartman to show. They’d been doing Secret Santa amongst the four of them for quite a few years, ever since an Elementary school Secret Santa class project that ended with the four of them all getting another member of their friend group. It had just become something of an unspoken thing they did for so long they forgot why, like swapping names when there was a substitute teacher or drawing dicks on the back of bus seats. The initial plan was that they’d trade off hosts every year, but in the end, it really just boiled down to Stan and Kyle doing rock paper scissors for it since any time they left it up to Cartman or Kenny, Kenny would forget about it completely and Cartman would give everyone his name…including himself. This year, Stan was the host, meaning they’d spend the night before Christmas sitting around his house basically doing nothing until someone’s Mom called and they had to call it a night. It was all pretty casual…but casual worked for them. Their friendship was mostly based around sitting around and doing nothing together when it wasn’t based around someone fucking up and everyone else having to rush to their aide afterwards, sitting around doing nothing just worked.

Kyle sighed, resting his chin against his fist as he glanced to the window for the umpteenth time. “Every year. Every fucking year we’re waiting on Cartman because he doesn’t give enough of a shit about any of us to actually get a gift before the actual day of the trade.” He huffed, speech slightly slurred as he spoke.

“Dude, are you gonna be in those…like…forever?” Kenny gave a lazy chuckle, leaning close to Kyle and poking him in the cheek. “Because you sound like you’ve got a dick in your mouth and you’re cheeks all swelled up like the dude kicked your ass for biting it with your weird, gross, mangled braceface.” He snorted.

“Dude…stop…” Kyle whined, batting Kenny’s hand away. “They told me it was only gonna be 18 months…so…by this time next year, I’ll only have five months, one week, and three days left.” He forced himself to perk up a little at that thought. “My Mom said it’s important for me to get them now so I don’t have to deal with this shit later.” He shrugged, wrinkling his nose. “It only hurts now because they’re new…and it’ll only hurt every four weeks when I get them adjusted. It’s not that bad.”

“Cosmetic braces, dude.” Stan piped in, raising his beer can in emphasis. “Your Mom talked you into getting cosmetic braces as a fucking 17 year old. That’s kinda fucked up. I mean that’s like…if my Mom told me I needed a nosejob. Don’t you see how fucked up this whole 18 month commitment of yours is? Can’t you like…back down or something? Get them taken out? Your teeth aren’t even that fucked up, this is fucking ridiculous dude.” He chuckled, taking another sip.

“Alright, I know, it’s kinda fucked up, but would you shut up about it? I really don’t want Cartman ripping into me about the fact that my overbearing Jewish Mom talked me into getting braces so that her handsome little man would always have a beautiful, perfect smile. That’s all Cartman’s gonna hear.” Kyle rolled his eyes, glancing between the two of them. “Which one of you even has Cartman anyway?”

“Yo.” Kenny rattled the hastily taped together cardboard box that had been sitting in his lap. “I thought it’d be funny to get him a rock and try to convince him that’s all I could afford, but like…it’s getting less funny the longer we wait, honestly. Kinda feels stupid without actually being able to see the genuine rage on his fat, stupid face.” He chuckled, glancing over to Stan. “How many drinks in are you, man? Kinda weak of you to get plastered before Cartman even shows up.”

“Hey man, it’s my house, it’s basically weak of you not to get plastered with me.” Stan shrugged, raising his can emphatically once more. “It’s only one drink. I’m just drinking it really, really fast so I don’t have to let Cartman know there’s any in the house.” He smirked, tapping his temple. “Get on my level, dude.”

“Ticking timebomb, Stan. Ticking timebomb.” Kyle muttered, rolling his eyes. Even if hosting Secret Santa at his house meant his Mom interjecting every five seconds to see what everyone was doing, he knew good enough not to let alcohol near Stan. Stan was self aware enough to pace himself, at least in good company, but Kyle was generally put off by it regardless. If not for the fact that Kyle couldn’t shake his concern, then by the fact that a drunk Stan meant a Stan he couldn’t spend the evening trading glances with and snickering at anything the other two said. He grumbled, resting his chin on his fist once more and glancing to the window once more. “It usually doesn’t take him this long to either drop in or cancel and ask one of us to drop off his gift at his house. If he bailed on us with no notice he better be in a coma.”

“Dude…chill, that is like, 90% braces talking.” Kenny chuckled, scooting closer to Kyle in order to press his cool drink to Kyle’s cheek. “There, better?”

“…Thanks, Kenny.” Kyle muttered, deeply unamused. Something about the fact that neither Stan nor Kenny were being particularly kind to him about his braces made him dread Cartman’s appearance even more. The concept of Cartman just not showing at all was mildly comforting, but it still meant waiting around for an hour or so doing nothing so Cartman wouldn’t end up complaining they didn’t wait long enough. Just as Kyle was starting to get comfortable with the idea of Cartman not showing, Stan’s front door finally opened to the sound of Cartman hustling inside, acting as though he was in a hurry to get there, with a plastic bag in his hands.

“Jeez, I am soooooo seriously sorry guys, the strangest thing happened. I had my gift sitting on my desk last night, but this morning when I woke up, it was gone…and in its place was a letter saying “I stole your super awesome and really cool gift, from Token.”” He plopped down on the floor, bag in his lap, quite blatantly pulling the recipt from it and stuffing it in his pocket.

“God dammit, Token can’t steal your gift EVERY year Cartman!” Kyle piped up.

“I know, that’s what I’m saying! He CAN’T keep stealing my gift every year!” Cartman scoffed in response, pulling an energy drink from the bag and cracking it open. “Did I miss anything?” “Just all the shitty things we have to say about you that are too shitty to say to your face.” Kenny chucked his gift in Cartman’s direction, landing it in his lap. “Merry Christmas, fucknuts.”

“Yeah, I had you, Kenny.” Stan added, handing the envelope sitting beside him to Kenny. “I didn’t really know what to get so I just went for one of those prepaid giftcard things you can use on anything. Sorry if it’s not thoughtful or whatever.” “That’s hella thoughtful man, I can use it to buy freaky shit online without leaving a trail.” Kenny gave a sarcastic wink Stan’s way with a smirk. “Well…I had Stan…” Kyle passed his gift over to Stan, before slowly side-eying Cartman. Cartman returned the side-eye, unceremoniously plopping the bag in Kyle’s lap.

“Merry Christmas, braceface. I put all of my festive energy into the 5 minutes I spent at CVS throwing this shit together. You better appreciate that shit.” Cartman grinned, before tearing into his own gift without any hesitation or pause to wait for a signal to begin.

Kyle rolled his eyes, before digging into the bag and pulling out its contents. Inside was a cutesy mini-icepack shaped like a cartoon frogs face  and a $5 gift card to Dairy Queen. Kyle squinted at the two items, then glanced back at Cartman, who was staring disappointedly at the rock he’d been gifted. “The fuck is this?” He gestured to the bag. “A gift, dumbass, you’re supposed to be grateful.” Cartman scoffed in return. “It’s for your whole braces shit. The icepack is for your fucked up face and the ice cream is for your fucked up mouth.” He shrugged. “Duh.”

The gears in Kyle’s head finally started ticking as to the meaning of Cartman’s gift. He was initially about to rip into Cartman for getting him some random shit from the drugstore, but it was actually pretty hard to find something bad to say about it. Coming from Cartman, someone who had a tendency to rip into him more than anyone else, this was actually kind of meaningful. Kyle blinked a few times, idly looking over the giftcard, before glancing back to Cartman. “Thanks, I guess.” He shrugged, placing the items back in the bag. “Thanks?” Cartman peered back over at Kyle, looking mildly confused. “Fuck, Kyle, you stopped bitching fast.” He chuckled, nudging Kyle with his elbow. “Guess I did a good job this year, huh?” “It’s polite to thank people, Cartman, I’m just being polite!” Kyle huffed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t let that shit get to your head. This is still a total cop-out. You still totally forgot about us like you do every year, and-” “Awwww, are you gonna use it every day and think of me, Kaaaahl? Are we gonna go on a gay Dairy Queen date because of how thankful you are?” Cartman grinned even wider when he caught on to why Kyle was reacting the way he was. “Awww, sick guys, Kyle probably wants to blow me because of how much he loves my gift.” Cartman hooked an arm around Kyle for an obnoxious side-hug. “Gay.”

“Oh my god, would you shut up? All I said was thanks for the gift! I would’ve said the same thing if Stan or Kenny-” Kyle scoffed in response, attempting to writhe away, only to be cut off once more.

“Exactly, Kyle. You would’ve said the exact same thing if Stan or Kenny gave you something nice. Because they’re your friends, right?”

“Exactly, because-”

“Because you LOOOOOOVE them.”

“Cartman would you-”

“I’m just sayin’, Kyle. For someone who claims to hate me, you’re lookin pretty fuckin’ gay for me right now.” Cartman gave him a little squeeze, before letting go of him and picking up Kenny’s gift to him. “See, Kenny gave me a shitty gift, but am I gonna thank him? No. I’m gonna chuck it at his head because I hate him.”

“Hey…come on, dude…no chucking shit at Kenny in the house, what did we learn last year?” Stan piped in with a long sigh, sitting up a little more.

When the conversation turned away from him, Kyle started to blank most of it out. Instead, he picked up the cute little ice pack, giving the frog’s face a little squish. He gave the tiniest hint of a smile, before stuffing it away once more. It was weird…it was just as easy for him to humanize Cartman as it was to dehumanize him. The concept of Cartman doing something even remotely right actually stuck with him for a long time. It was almost kind of heartwarming to know that Cartman remembered half a thing about him in his rush to get him something for the secret santa. Usually when he pulled this with Stan and Kenny he just gave them the first thing he grabbed…this had some thought to it. Maybe it was low standards…but Kyle was genuinely thankful and saw himself getting some actual use out of this gift.

But, of course, Cartman already knew that…and Kyle absolutely hated that about Cartman.

[hyotaem]

why kim kibum is a RAVENCLAW

first of all kim kibum’s ugly ass can fight me for shoving his “““““““““““slytherin””””””””””” self in my face with all his stupid instagram posts this is the FIRST time i haven’t been excited about him posting. now let’s be real here the sorting hat must’ve been smoking some crack or something if it put kibum in slytherin………. he’s CLEARLY A RAVENCLAW and i have PROOF. SO MUCH proof that i’m about to write six pages of this shit!!!! ten virtual bucks and all of miss sha’s love to you if you actually read all of my anger induced rambling :)

okay!! now let’s get rowling’s awfully one dimensional and un-fleshed-out definition of what a ravenclaw is out of the way : the smart ones. that’s it. “wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure” blah blah all of that. basically the way she set it up in the (amazing) shitshow that was the harry potter books, most people interpreted it as “oh you do well in academics and stuff you get straight as and all that cool jazz so you must be a ravenclaw!” EXCEPT. getting good grades isn’t the only type of intelligence you can have and this especially applies to kibum because although i don’t know how well he did in school i do know that he has immense creative intelligence that screams ravenclaw AND NOT FUCKING SLYTHERIN GOD DAMN IT. also point number two!! if that was the only thing that made you a ravenclaw then hermione wouldn’t be a goddamn gryffindor. if you think back to book one (for those of you that have forgotten already, that’s the sorcerer’s stone or the philosopher’s stone depending on where you came from - a completely unnecessary change that still baffles me because despite the fact that americans are dumb i don’t think we’re THAT dumb that we wouldn’t know what a philosopher is but i digress) there’s that scene while they’re in room with the logic test with the poison and she says something along the lines of “yeah logic and cleverness is great and all but bravery and friendship is where it’s at harry!! now go beat voldemort’s ass!” (keep in mind i don’t have the books in front of me right now lol) it’s because she values those gryffindor qualities more than she values the qualities of intelligence that she was placed in gryffindor but that wasn’t very well expanded on in the books and it isn’t super relevant to ravenclaw kibum so i’ll move on.

one of my biggest points is the whole intelligence isn’t limited to getting good grades in school one. so in 1983 a developmental psychologist (don’t know what that is and i’m too lazy to google but i’m assuming he knew what he was talking about) came up with this theory?? idea?? whatever. that there are in fact nine different types of intelligence and you can’t bullet point in essays so bear with me: there’s naturalist intelligence which is like nature and stuff… not my thing and not kibum’s either so we’ll move forward; musical intelligence - let’s stop this list right here so i can point a giant finger at kibum’s obvious musical talent (which fingers crossed we’ll get to see in his solo album which will happen i have hope) - logical/mathematical (it took me four tries to spell that right could you believe i used to be a three time school spelling bee champion hahhahhahah) which is what i believe most people think of when they think “intelligence;” existential (why do we exist? what is our purpose here on earth? what the fuck exactly is a human? what is consciousness? this is for the ones who have existential crises every other day congrats you’re smart). this paragraph is getting too long lemme move to the next one -

yes hi where were we : interpersonal! this is a another one i think kibum has a lot of; he’s really extroverted and have you ever noticed that he knows like. everyone because he makes friends super easily and everything?? he knows how people work and he’s comfortable around them. next, linguistic intelligence, which he possesses a lot of too - we all know the man’s smart as hell when it comes to languages it’s real sexy; intra-personal (this is like…. knowing yourself and your thoughts/feelings which sounds fake to me but whatever); and last but not least (or yes least depending on how much of it you have) spatial intelligence which yeah kibum has a lot of because this applies to visual art and stuff and also comes in handy if you’re an engineer. (shout out to any of those reading this now stop and go do your job or something fucking nerds!)

so we’ve established that kibum is super intelligent, especially creatively, which you already should’ve known if you’ve been a shawol for longer than two seconds or aren’t stanning solely for visuals… my point is : kibum’s a smart dude!! so one box for ravenclaw checked! i’m not trying to say if you’re not a ravenclaw you’re stupid by the way because all of this means jack shit if you don’t value your intelligence, which brings us back to the whole situation with hermione - she was in gryffindor because gryffindor’s qualities were more important to her. but i think it’s clear kibum takes a whole lot of pride in his creative accomplishments and he’s always looking to add more to his loooooong resumé of cool shit i’ve done at such a young age (taemin has one of those except his is cool shit i’ve done at an even younger age). it’s these traits of his that stand out the most in my opinion which checks another ravenclaw kibum box!

completely unrelated to actual house sorting but kibum looks incredible in blue. pretend i attached pictures for reference.

listen being in ravenclaw isn’t all flowers and rainbows (that’s more hufflepuff; you can find them in the kitchens xx). this emphasis on logic and intelligence can often create a chasm between the more human side of things. ravenclaws tend to forget that emotion plays just a big a part in how things work as pure, cold logic does - which obviously doesn’t always apply, because interpersonal intelligence is a facet of ravenclawism?? let’s pretend that’s a word. ravenclaws can also be real perfectionists and super hard on themselves. and don’t forget that they can get big heads too - placing a higher value on intelligence, creative or not, doesn’t make you better than the rest of the houses, ravenclaws.

trust me, i know. i’m a ravenclaw. fuck pottermore.

i just realized something. in any proper school essay, you never just jump into things the way i did. idk if any of you learned tags?? theme, author, general, specific (or something like that; forgive me if i can’t remember, oh sophomore year honors english teacher) but yeah i forgot to do all that and just kinda went KIBUM IS A RAVENCLAW FUCK HIM so…

i’m assuming whoever’s reading this has either read and/or watched at least one of the harry potter books/movies. if you’ve only ever seen the movies (or worse, just one movie) get the fuck out of my sight! nah, just kidding, i’m ready to explain all this shit to y’all. so buckle in, kids and non kids, because you’re about to have a crash course on hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry completely from my shitty memory!

so hogwarts is this amazing school in england that teaches young, impressionable kids magic tricks but with real magic. it’s the wave your wand, say the latin inspired magic words, and boom! you just turned your rat into a teacup (or if you’re ron, you got stuck halfway and now peter pettigrew is having the worst time of his life since [spoiler]). it’s pretty much the most dangerous place you can send your kid especially if one (1) harry james potter is in the student body, because this snake man with no nose is coming to get him because he’s holding a ten year or so grudge that he couldn’t kill him when he wanted to. also [spoiler] plays a part in that lmao voldemort isn’t that shallow. but he is pretty shallow.

on your first day at this super cool school you put a magic talking hat on your head and it compartmentalizes you into one of four houses based on your personality, your values, and your strengths. it’s like divergent except less black and white. (and if you’ve seen/read divergent and not harry potter get your fucking priorities in order wtf???) you’ve probably heard of these houses - gryffindor, slytherin, ravenclaw, and hufflepuff - even if you know shit about harry potter because you’re friend has said to you “oh yeah i’m a hufflepuff” and you went “oh cool haha sounds fucking dumb” and unfortunately for your poor hufflepuff friend most people look down on hufflepuff. thank god that’s changing and fuck rowling for making it that way. no one has time for her silly “all slytherins are evil” narrative.

rowling-wise (hope y’all are realizing by now that i’m not her biggest fan) the houses are pretty much as one-dimensional as divergent was: gryffindor was for the big, strong, brave people; ravenclaw for the smart; slytherin for… well, evil; and everyone else gets to be a hufflepuff and get labelled as nice. nothing wrong with being nice, but if you’re just nice, you’re boring, and hey, hufflepuffs don’t deserve that. maybe it’s tweaking canon a bit, but fandom has collectively shifted away from these stereotypes and effectively (more effectively than rowling, at least) expanded on what actually makes a gryffindor a gryffindor and so forth. (also, yeah, i thought i was a hufflepuff for years before i took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized i’m a lazy piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to be in that house)

off the top of my head, hogwarts was founded by four wizards with varying levels of assholishness, and their last names are where we get the houses. each one of them basically picked the qualities they wanted to see in their students (gg : “i want the loudmouths who are brave and awesome!” rr: “i want the ones who think being smart is sexy” ss: “i want the ambitious prideful ones” and lovely helga hufflepuff was like “cool i’ll just take the rest they’re amazing too”) and so the houses were formed. things quickly unraveled after that because mr. slytherin was a racist piece of shit and he only wanted the “pure-blooded” families to send their kids to hogwarts (meaning the ones wizarding families who were all wizards) and the rest were like “wtf bro?? what about the mixed kids. or the random muggle-borns blessed with the ability to bewitch??” and salazar was like “nah i’m out goodbye fuckers i hate you all for being open-minded and shit.” so, i mean, it really doesn’t come as a surprise that slytherin gets such a bad rep considering the first ever slytherin was on the high end of the asshole spectrum. and then all that shit with the [spoiler] in chamber of secrets happened, so not only was he an asshole, but he was also fucking insane. good riddance. but the rest stayed, and they made hogwarts famous, and then they died and became ghosts to haunt the corridors of the school or whatever.

so now that your brief hogwarts, a history lesson is over, let’s talk a little more about slytherin because i feel like it! also the whole idea about all slytherins being evil, power-hungry, greedy fuckers is wrong and needs to be dispelled. yes, power does play a huge role in who a slytherin is, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be a “crush everyone underneath me” kind of thing - it’s more like an ambition-driven one. sure, a lot of slytherins are bad, like, say, voldemort, who was so obsessed with power and living forever that he pretty much killed himself, with a little bit of help from our lovely hero harry. and like… i could go into detail about how horrible and abusive snape was (yes he did have a few good qualities but they certainly weren’t redeeming ones fuck off) but i’d max out the number of pages for this essay so maybe another time. if you’re a snape apologist…… well i hope you see the light soon. that’s a real stain on your person. but yeah - not every single slytherin you see is pure evil; regulus black exists (please read the books) and like. narcissa malfoy just wanted to protect her son, you know? doesn’t excuse most of the shit she did but her intentions weren’t completely “oh i want to be powerful also i’m better than everyone because i’m pureblood and you’re not haha.”

also taemin!! there’s a lovely slytherin. smart, ambitious, sweet, great smile, i’ll stop before this turns into a soft rant - taemin is textbook slytherin but surprise he isn’t in the game just so he can put other people down. and i wasn’t serious about my other if you’re blank then stop reading this but if you don’t think taemin’s a slytherin you can exit. right now. i’m serious i don’t want to be associated with y’all. AND IT’S EVEN WORSE IF YOU THINK HE’S A HUFFLEPUFF!!! you’re going to put lee “work over relationships” taemin into hufflepuff? he’s pure slytherin; he’s driven by ambition - idk if you noticed when he was talking about his budokan concerts but he mentioned how he worked so hard on it for his own sake. he wanted to prove to himself as well as others that he could pull off something so grand and incredible (and he did but once again that’s soft rant territory so i’ll pull back) and that’s slytherin. this isn’t necessarily in a bad way, but he’s so willing to throw his members under the bus for his own sake - go watch their weekly idol. THAT DOESN’T MAKE HIM EVIL LMAO a big part of being a slytherin is relationships with others!! when the worst comes to worst, loyalty is important to slytherins. it’s not one of their defining characteristics like it is for gryffindor but it’s still super important. that’s not to say he doesn’t have hufflepuff traits (y’know, working hard! being dedicated!) but those coupled with entirely slytherin motivations of proving oneself and becoming the best they can be point him towards slytherin’s direction. slytherins have a tendency of throwing everyone and everything away (including, many times, themselves) for the sake of achieving their goal and taemin is a perfect example of that. sure, he’s as sweet as a person who laughs when other people are crying can be, but that doesn’t automatically make him a hufflepuff. it’s not like everyone who isn’t a hufflepuff is mean or that every hufflepuff is a gooey pile of chocolate and sunshine.

anyway… this is about kibum…

(fun fact : the animal associated with the ravenclaw house is actually an eagle. something about soaring to new intellectual heights or something. would’ve been easier to just make it a raven because it’s not like ravens can’t fly too but whatever.)

probably one of the biggest roadblocks with sorting people into hogwarts houses is the overlap that occurs between traits of different houses. having one trait - or even a few of them - doesn’t automatically mean you fit solidly into a house, because you have to take your own ideals and values into account, as well as the way you approach things in life. it’s not to say kibum isn’t ambitious, because yeah, he is, but the way his ambition is directed towards his creative pursuits for the sake of expanding his creative intelligence is a ravenclaw thing you know?? same with jonghyun (who is also a ravenclaw) - the way he approaches all of his creative pursuits is completely in the artistic sense. jonghyun is creatively brilliant - let’s look at his radio show, or his song-writing, or his composing, or his book writing, etc. - and just because he’s a ravenclaw doesn’t mean he’s not ambitious. sure he’s ambitious but is anyone sitting here calling him a slytherin?? no, seriously - does anyone think jonghyun’s a slytherin? because i’ve never seen that. most people put him in hufflepuff and not ravenclaw… but why? is it because he’s soft? because that’s a hell of a stereotype, too, and it’s not like all ravenclaws are cold, emotionally detached bitches who only care about getting 100 percents on their quizzes.

what i’m trying to say is people can’t be categorized into boxes the way the houses were originally constructed; otherwise, most of the population would just be hufflepuffs. sorting also takes your personal wishes, your goals, what you think is important into consideration. so, yeah, if kibum really wanted he could totally be a slytherin, but it would pretty much be for the sake of being a slytherin because that cunning is not what he deems most important. let’s go back to harry potter himself - the sorting hat was really fucking ready to put him in slytherin, and as much as you can argue that it was because a piece of voldemort, of evil, was in him or whatever, you can’t deny that harry has a lot of inherently slytherin traits. he knows how to work people, he knows how to get out of tricky situations because he’s witty and yeah, cunning as hell. and yes, he asked not to be put in slytherin, but that’s mainly because he walked into hogwarts having heard nothing but stereotypes about the house (like that one line that ron said about how not everyone in slytherin was evil but how everyone evil came from slytherin, the whole square rectangle relationship). and keep in mind that he didn’t specifically ask to be put into gryffindor but that the sorting hat recognized those qualities that he also had and the fact that he valued them more as well and made the decision to sort him into gryffindor.

sorting is a tricky business, thanks to those gray areas. there are ravenclaws that could be academically behind others, but they work their asses off because they want to learn. hard work is, again, technically a hufflepuff trait but their objective, their main focus, is the learning aspect which makes them a ravenclaw! an excellent real life example would be minho, who you can argue has several gryffindor traits, like… he’s loud and i guess he’s brave and all, but hufflepuff fits him a thousand times better. the importance he places on relationships and especially loyalty is purely hufflepuff and he makes a damn good one, too. i think that’s what annoys me most about people who think taemin’s too “sweet” or “nice” to be a slytherin - i hate to break it to you, but not every slytherin is mean and selfish. they just value being at the top because they believe they deserve it, and you can’t really fault a person for that, and it doesn’t mean they think everyone else is automatically lesser, either.

i’m going to wrap this up now because i want to watch final life and i’ve also made pretty much every point i can think of right now. kibum might be out there dropping $100+ on overpriced slytherin wands and parading around in his slytherin scarf but honestly? i’m still convinced he’s a ravenclaw because it just fits him so much better. but i guess slytherin is a good second choice! he really made me angry enough to write an entire goddamn essay about this wow

[katrinawritesthings]

Jonghyun/Taemin; Fernando; PG

listen high school au where taem chose to raise a plant from a lil seed for his senior project and like that was too simple so he Also chose to carry her with him to school every day

He nods and Taemin smiles, reaching up to pat the tops of the plant’s leaves gently. With her on the floor and them in their desks, she comes up to around head height.

ao3

“I swear by the sun… no, by the moon… the sun is a star, though….” Jonghyun nibbles on the plastic rim around the eraser of his pencil, furrowing his eyes at the lyrics he’s writing. He’s talking about stars, which the sun is, and about orbiting a star, which makes more sense, but honestly. He kind of hates the sun. He doesn’t want to swear by the giant yellow floating dudebro in the sky. The moon is much nicer and fits much better with the gay space aesthetic, and also matches much more with the babe he’s writing this for. “I swear by the moon,” he mouths to himself, underlining the word twice after he writes it. “It’s you only… only you for me, only you for me….” He bites his lip and makes a little note to figure out if he likes that line repeated or not later.

That universe line from before, though, he really does like twice. He thinks. He puts another tally mark in the little scoreboard he’s keeping with himself for every time he goes back and forth on that. Reading over what he has down for this song so far, he’s stopped from writing any more by the sound of the door being pushed open.

He looks up from the corner desk he’s tucked himself into, watching the other side of the classroom for whoever else it was that managed to get sent to the SRC first period. He’s heard that it’s become a lot more rare, now that the school stopped letting teachers send kids here for tardiness. People don’t normally fuck up so early in the day. He’s honestly only here because he didn’t want to watch some gorey movie in history class.

The first thing to enter the room isn’t a student; it’s a plant. A bamboo plant, tall and leafy, in a dark green pot. A moment later, the person carrying the plant slips inside with it and Jonghyun feels himself automatically smiling at him. There he is. In the flesh. The Plant Kid. Jonghyun feels blessed to be in the presence of their school cryptid.

Taemin grins shamelessly at the supervising teacher, lifting his plant an inch instead of waving with his free hand.

“Hey, Jeffrey,” he says. Jonghyun muffles a snort badly into the back of his hand, turning even more to watch Taemin walk casually up to Mr. S like it’s no big deal. Mr. S sighs, closing his book and looking Taemin up and down.

“You again?” he asks. His stern voice is betrayed by fondness and a hint of a smile and Jonghyun vaguely wonders how often it is that Taemin gets sent here. “Was it you or Fernando this time?”

“Jeff, is it ever me?” Taemin asks. “You know she’s the real troublemaker here.” He hikes his bamboo pot up to be more snug against his hip and Jonghyun watches Mr. S shake his head with another sigh. He hands Taemin the sign in clipboard without comment, then takes his referral and shoos him away to find a seat for himself. Jonghyun raises his brows, impressed. That’s a fond friendship if he ever saw one. When Taemin scans the room, his eyes land on Jonghyun in the corner; Jonghyun waves simply instead of trying to pretend like he wasn’t staring. It earns him a smile and Taemin heading his way, stepping expertly through the desks until he’s sitting himself down in the one in front of Jonghyun.

“Hey,” he says easily. Jonghyun notes the flex of the muscles in his right arm as he sets the plant down on the floor. That can’t be light.

“Hi,” he replies, propping his hand up in his chin. “I thought her name was Francesco?” he asks, pointing at the bamboo. He knows that the names Taemin and Francesco are both linked together in his brain. Taemin glances at her, then shakes his head with a little laugh.

“No, that’s my Catholic name,” he says. Jonghyun gasps softly at the information. Right, yeah, that’s right. He remembers Kibum telling him about the whole confirmation thing a while back. He nods and Taemin smiles, reaching up to pat the tops of the plant’s leaves gently. With her on the floor and them in their desks, she comes up to around head height. It’s pretty wild. Jonghyun remembers the beginning of the year when she was just a tiny little pot of dirt that Taemin could carry in one hand. “She’s lovely Fernando,” Taemin smiles, petting a leaf fondly. Jonghyun chuckles softly as he watches Taemin fluff up his plant. Fernando.

“Like,” he says. “There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando.” He sings the line softly, tapping his pencil with each note, waving his other hand for dramatic effect. Taemin smiles wide and nods eagerly.

“Yep,” he says. “If I have to have that song stuck in my head every day, then so does everyone else.” His little smirk is almost wicked and Jonghyun snorts, breathing out a soft laugh towards his desk. Shit. Taemin is right; that’s gonna be in his brain for at least a week. Like he didn’t already have enough intrusive thoughts already.

“So what–”

“No fraternizing, you two.” Mr. S interrupts their conversation with a stern frown from his desk. Jonghyun glances at him, then looks away in shame, pink blushing his cheeks. Frick. He almost forgot that this is technically a during-class detention room.

“Jeffrey, do you even care?” Taemin asks flatly. Jonghyun sneaks a peak up to see him giving Mr. S this expectant look that no student should be giving a teacher, especially the one in charge of discipline, but after a few seconds of staring each other down, Mr. S shrugs with a shake of his head.

“Not really,” he says, and turns back to his book. Taemin turns back to Jonghyun with a smug little grin and an eyebrow twitch. Jonghyun takes in his expression and exhales shortly, running his fingers through his hair. Holy shit. How the fuck.

“How many times have you even been sent here?” he asks. He is way too casual. Taemin shrugs, still petting his bamboo tree.

“Every time I have a substitute teacher in one of my classes, basically,” he says. “None of them ever like Fernando.” He pouts, rubbing one leaf between his fingers gently. “At least I’ll have an extra paragraph or two to add to my essay about her at the end of the year,” he mumbles. Jonghyun tsks too, reaching out to pat her as gently as possible. Even with the extra content to add to his senior final project, that’s not fair at all.

“She’s so cute, though,” he says. Every time he sees Taemin carrying her around the school he has to smile. They make his day brighter every day. They don’t deserve to be sent out of class just for existing.

“Yeah, well,” Taemin sighs. He reaches down, pokes a stray leaf under the soil in the pot, and sits up straight. He turns even more in his chair to rest his elbows on the front of Jonghyun’s desk. “What are you working on?” he asks. He nods curiously at the notebook Jonghyun was writing in before he came in. Jonghyun looks at it, reads over his lyrics, shrugs a little bit.

“Love song,” he says. He finds the part he’s most confident in and sings a little bit of it: “Please look back at me often, check to see if I’m revolving around you, to see if this orbit is right….” He hums the next part, the “ooh baby”s that he thinks he might just keep there instead of writing actual words to replace. Taemin listens with little bobs of his head, staring at his lyrics with a squint that Jonghyun knows means he’s struggling to read them upside-down. He doesn’t really mind; he turns his book so Taemin can read them easier.

“Mmm,” Taemin hums when he’s done. “Yeah, but, do you really think writing a song about how much you want Minho to notice you will actually make him notice you?” he asks. His voice was so matter-of-fact and the look he gives Jonghyun is innocent curiosity; Jonghyun feels his cheeks heating up under it. He snatches his notebook away even though Taemin’s already read it all and huffs at his slowly growing grin. God. Fuck.

“How come fucking everyone except that tall asshole knows that I have a fucking crush on him,” he hisses. This is so garbage. He’s never even fucking spoken to Taemin until today and somehow he knows. Why the fuck can’t Minho be that perceptive in one of the four fucking classes that they share. Jonghyun hates him so much. Taemin’s muffled laughter brings him out of his grumbling, but only enough to frown at the amused little crescents of his eyes. “It’s fucking ridiculous, right?” he asks. Sometimes he thinks Minho is just being obtuse on purpose. Taemin shrugs instead of answering, pulling his bag from his shoulder to use as a pillow.

“He still doesn’t have a date to that track meet next week,” he says. Jonghyun snorts, dropping his notebook back onto the table and smoothing out the paper.

“Do people regularly take dates to track meets?” he asks. He’s been to a few of Minho’s practises, but never with any real romantic intent. Just to chill with some friends after school. He’s seen Taemin at them a couple of times too, but never guessed that he knew Minho that much too. Taemin shrugs, a playful little grin on his lips.

“You and him can be the first,” he says. He wiggles his eyebrows too and Jonghyun chuckles softly. Somehow he doesn’t think that that would work as a pickup line.

“Nah,” he says. “I’m gonna finish this song and then sing it to him while we’re just chilling at my place one day,” he shrugs. He gets song advice from Minho all the time. It’ll be smooth as fuck. “And then if he still doesn’t get it after me singing about his eyes to him for three minutes then I’m gonna kinda just. Go for it, you know?” he makes a little pushing gesture with his hands for emphasis. He’s thinking like, just, a grabbed collar and a deep, desperate kiss. Jinki says he’s good at those. Taemin laughs softly into the bed of his arms, shoulders shrugging tiredly.

“Good luck,” he hums. Jonghyun smiles back.

“Thanks,” he says.”You too,” he adds, gesturing at Taemin’s bamboo plant. He still has a few more months of carrying her around and he’s bound to have a few more subs in that time. Jonghyun wishes the both of them the very best. Taemin smiles back at him, flattered and grateful.

“Thanks,” he says.