#GOOFY AHH MF CANT LEARN A LESSON UNLESS ITS PRESENTED AS A NARRATIVE (IM THE MF) PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AT ME

[rithmeres]

i tried to write this post about four times now and there’s no real way to say it without sounding pathetic and dumb even but basically yesterday i watched reiner apologize to annie and i watched annie forgive and embrace him and then i saw jean and connie extend forgiveness to reiner that he asked for but didn’t think he deserved, and my heart was full for all that love and restoration and understanding, and then today i saw my old roommate that i hated, who made my sophomore year hell, the sight of whom used to make me sick with rage, walk into church after years of no contact and the sight made me flinch and then i waved to her, the smallest possible olive branch that i could extend, and she smiled back and then i looked for the grudge i had been dragging with me all these years that i didn’t want to carry but could never seem to put down and feared that i would carry to the grave, and i saw that it was gone and i said i’m glad to see you. please forgive me. and she held me and said there is nothing to forgive and i cried and cried and cried for the burden that was lifted