#God I do sound delulu but this is the best way I could describe it all and how I feel about that

[obsolescent]

I know a lot of ya’ll say “fiction doesn’t affect reality” and “x isn’t real” but call me delusional (or maybe it’s a byproduct of my maladaptive daydreaming) but… I do see some characters as real? Like, as real as they can be, that is.

If you know about maladaptive daydreaming, or if you do it yourself, you probably have or have seen someone talking to themselves, like I’ve carried on conversations w these characters like they’re real and I talk to them throughout my day.

Like I said, call me whatever you want lmfao but that’s why I can’t get with those sentiments. These characters feel very real to me most days and I literally see myself being good friends with them or hanging out with them so when ya’ll say that or like, write them OOC or in a situation they’d never be in I’m like… you see this shit Leon???

[bethanysnow]

Breakeven prt 4

Bang Chan x Plus size Reader!

1.5k FLUFF chan being what the kids say 'delulu'

(A.N: Tumblr ate the first version of this fic so please be kind. I am happy there is a fully formed piece though.)

His heart beat faster in his chest. He didn't know if it was from the impact or the pretty girl in front of him, but he felt the ringing in his ears and blood rush to his cheeks turning them rosey.

Normally, he was at a function for JYP he was Chan! Best leader! Leader and producer of one of the best-selling, most popular boy groups in the 4th gen if ever. He was there to be a show pony. Do tricks. Flirt with women he had no interest in because he knew it did something in the realm of securing his seat at the table. It was safe. He could be charismatic, charming, intoxicatingly so. He saved face for the company, he knew it, and everyone knew it. The friends he had were other idols. Fellow people in the pursuit of this dream, but that were also tied to work. He didn't know the last person he spoke to that wasn't….in some way shape or form tied to his work as an Idol.

He didn't know the last time he just randomly met a girl on the street who he thought was pretty and talked to her just to talk to her.

He didn't know the last time he was just Chris from Australia.

Chan wasn't shy by any means or he didn't think he was. Something in the way the woman across from him looked into his eyes though made him want to hide. He wasn't looking for a girlfriend either. Just work was work, Stay came into his life and it was almost a religious experience. This incomprehensible force was out there, looking out for him, caring about him, wanting the best for him, and all he had to do was be the man he grew into being. That permission of self was a big relief considering his addiction to work. His work as Idol. Korea as a country was dependent on this addiction, for that's what it was. Large parts of the population got a high seeing work be completed, having it also be tied to one's worth, self-preservation. Words were invented to describe the feeling of being so deeply exhausted only for it to be turned into words of praise.

That's what Chan knew and expected. Internalizing from a very young age that unless he was extraordinary, he wasn't anything.

Anything at all.

Maybe she knew who he was.

Maybe she had walls plastered with his face on it.

But in that moment, it didn't matter. Nothing…mattered.

Just her asking him if he was alright and her hand gently placed on top of his. The sounds around him began to go fuzzy with Han rambling and people having dinner.

Her eyes went to Jisung taking in whatever was being spoken, as Chan's eyes sought to memorize the vision before him. She was different. Not different bad, just different. In the world he lived in it was common practice to ‘deal with’ things. Diets, being unhealthily skinny, wanting to ‘fix’ how tall someone’s nose was. Looking at her with soft eyes he took in her appearance. She was a full-figured woman, took up space, commanded a presence. There was some blush to her cheeks, eyeshadow maybe. Simple. Only Chan noticed the details not of what was there, but of what wasn’t. No tape pulling her face back, no line of lace for a wig or caked on foundation shades lighter than her skin naturally was. She just existed. No one in his life knew how to just be. How to exist in their entirety, and yet here she was.

She was so pretty…

That’s all he could think about…she was just so god damn pretty.

“You’re staring- he’s staring. Is he? Are you okay?” Waving her hand in front of his face. He stared at her in a daze. Only for her to break him out of his delusion of what their apartment would look like decorated for the holidays and what would they name their third child. Watching him snap back to reality it left the gritty feeling of anxiety in her mouth, was there something on her face? In her teeth? Did she smell?

When Jisung said the person he wanted her to meet would be worth her while she didn’t think this is what he meant! His fucking leader?! After this encounter she was sure to give him a piece of her mind! What in the twilight zone unreality did she walk into? Chris seeing her apprehension looked to Han who winked at him giving him finger guns only to say something about picking up the dinner. Telling Chan to sit with Y/n.

Y/n…y/n. He chewed on the name in his mouth feeling where his tongue sat and bit his teeth. He had heard names like it before. Normally wouldn’t think twice about it, but seeing the girl the name was attached to made it sparkle. He wanted to say it over and over, it in the second became the sweetest sound he ever heard.

“Is it okay? If I sit here, with you? I can go- “

“No!! Stay!! Its fine- “Her voice was louder than she expected. As if something took possession of the controls in her head to grab his hand only to retract it moments later cringing instantly. Seeking solace in hiding in her purple sweater. That’s when it hit Chan how he knew her really. She was the girl from the street.

This realization caused Chan’s face to turn bright red grabbing at his earring to self-soothe the butterflies that had taken up residency inside his lungs.

“You’re the uh…girl on the street yea? You busk? I mean? I heard you singing earlier-“

Y/ns eyes widened…” Am I that loud?” her mouth tried to form words as embarrassment crept up her collar and onto her face only for Chan to grab her hand. He threw his head back and laughed like somehow, she had made the room feel like fizzy drinks and pop rocks and cotton candy all in one question.

“No! no no no no- you hehehe aren’t that loud. I just keep the window to the studio open sometimes and when I head in, I can hear you. I promise you aren’t that loud hehe” He smiled and it just got bigger and bigger as Y/n threw a hand over her heart and exhaled dramatically.

“Oh, thank god- I would hope someone would have told me by now, but I’m glad I am not taking up the entire street block with my attempt at music.” She giggled. She was giggling. Who was she?? Acting like a schoolgirl on a date. Becoming absolutely beside herself with the affect this man was having on her. Ending up just looking at the table for some illusionary script of what does one say to one of the most attractive people on the planet?

“Oh- don’t say that. You sing quite good if I’m honest.”

Her smile bloomed across her face as did the redness in her cheeks. Bang Christopher Chan was complimenting her singing. What a day this turned out to be?

Chan looked at their hands still oddly touching, he didn’t notice till now that when he grabbed her hand…she didn’t let go. Normally by now there would be some squealing or reaction, but there wasn’t. Not that it was an expectation of course. His mind drifted a little looking at their hands only to be brought back to her eyes on him with a slight tilt of her head.

“You okay though? I mean- You kinda got tabled in the dick so- “Y/n chuckled unable to keep it to herself.

As weird as asking how his dick was, it was the most refreshing conversation and question Chan had experienced in about six months. Not knowing if it was the novelty of finding someone outside of work, or how she was so different than everyone he existed with in his day-to-day life, he wanted to know. To know if it was just infatuation or something else.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I think though Jisung set me up…” The man looked over the dividers to their rapper standing next to the counter talking to a waitress, making sure he wasn’t just straight up abandoned in a restaurant with a girl.

“Oh I am right there with you-“

“You in Seoul long?” Chan asked trying to gauge what he could do.

“I guess? I am visiting a cousin in Busan over a couple months and so I always try and visit Seoul. He works, and I don’t want to just be waiting for him. I’m staying at a capsule hotel hostel thing.”

The gears in his head turned. Looking between the table Jisung, and Y/n. “Are you on whatsapp? Or Kakao Talk? I would love to hear you sing something…and I work in a studio so….” Chan couldn’t handle the tension anymore. He needed an answer like an itch he couldn’t scratch or a song he couldn’t name playing on repeat.

Jisung only then took the moment to barge into their bubble with bags of takeout. “SO- talk about anything fun??~” Han grinned so proud of himself.

“Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t, eh?” Y/n scrunched her nose at the interrupter. “I was just about to give Chan here my number…if he would still accept it~” she smiled at him taking out her phone to hand to him.

…… …………

~~~~ To be continued.

@7ndipity @moonlightndaydreams @queen-in-the-shadows @chansmanda @antoniorhinothethird @hyunsvngs @channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut