#HEY Im not dead! Things have finally calmed down a bit with moving and painting and etc etc so im finally getting to more sketches

[pmd-etu]

[gaysonlyocean]

What are the villains so far in it? What're your takes on the classic villains of Spider-Man?

apologies for the delay i went apeshit over recieving a ask at last jhgfghj

im still working out whos in it and whos left on the cutting room floor cause kjhgfgh theres so many different villains yknow but i currently have seven villains, and all but two of them are solid and have actual stuff i can share

those 7 are doctor octopus, kraven the hunter, venom, green goblin, norman osborn whos separate to gobby in this cause i saw that idea and was inspired, the rhino and sandman

gonna put my details on them under the cut cause i have Things To Say

ok so doc ock in this universe is as per usual otto octavius and hes a man in his late 40s who wears hawaiian shirts all the time

i love raimiverse so rosie is here too and married to him and shes trying her best

so his backstory is he made the arms to make a safer and more direct form of manipulating control rods in nuclear reactors, but he didnt believe 1. it would fail or 2. anyone but him would be up for doing the test run, instead he opted for a "if you want something done right do it yourself" approach

and taking a moment to say the plant he picked out for the demostration is where pearl foggers, our spiderperson here, dad and stepmum work

thats a surprise tool that will help no one later

so the demostration happens and everything seems to work as planned but during the whole immediate celebration the power started rising uncontrollably and caused a explosion, of the people in the room with him otto was the only survivor due to the fact he wasnt able to move from where he was standing and had the arms to shield him

he ends up really fucked up from this cause of both shrapnel and burns but also radiation exposure cause while the rest of the plant were able to shut down the reactor so there was only about a minute or so of it being open thats still a lot of radiation and also of course the bog standard getting fused to the arms

and furthermore it takes a good few hours for rescuers to get to him so he was just stuck pinned down and surrounded by dead bodies for a bit which isnt very good for your mental health yknow

anyway he finally gets rescued and then has to spend three months in a isolation ward to recover which is incredibly painful considering the amount of damage and is made worse cause everything he was wearing that could be removed had to be destroyed including his wedding ring

only to find once hes given the clear that he can go home that hes being painted as villain for the accident even through he tried everything he could to stop the power rise and has no idea what caused it

and his reaction to this is "if theyre going to call me a villain, a villain i shall be"

moving on to kraven who is in the art ive posted, we have miss evpratsiya olesya kravinoff, whos built like rhea ripley

shes this 6'7 woman who is just as insane as any other kraven out there and its great, like she will start mauling you and also due to the fact ill have to remake her ref she is going around tits out while doing all of this too

she hasnt even got like a fuckign kjhgfghj reason to be this way shes just insane and went to serbia to get mutated to be even more insane and THEN she shows up in the plot she didnt have to do that she just did

and then THEN she arrives in new york and sees spider-fire and is just "that is a child" and openly says "hey im not going to fight a child leave now or else"

and pearl, being 1. a spiderperson and 2. a 13 year old says no!! im goign to stop you from doing crime!! and evpratsiya just shrugs and starts throwing blades at spider-fire WHO SHE INSTANTLY CLOCKS AS BEING A 13 YEAR OLD MAAM CALM DOWN

and like,,, she also stalks pearl for a bit to find out the perfect time to strike and the one redeeming part of this behaviour is she refuses to go after flick if flickers not doing spidey stuff cause thats not honourable while actively stalking this CHILD

she wont stop being this way, shes jsut insane and running around with her titties just out to try to violently kill a child

oh also shes engaged to calypso, we stan a insane lesbian

that whole,,, thing aside we are moving onto venom!! instead of a human disaster we have another 13 year old!!

so pearls best friend is this kid called daisy peachley and theyve both been friends for years bonding over being nonbinary and not neurotypical cause pearls autistic and daisy has adhd

but the problem is daisy has a MASSIVE crush on pearl but pearl doesnt feel the same way cause ones aroace but hasnt jhgfgh had that realisation yet

and cause theyre close daisy knows pearl hasnt ever had a crush on anyone and rationalises how pens feelings wont be returned so instead shes just agonising over it and pining aggressively

some infomation about daisy is pen is fostered but isnt exactly in the best situation aka the apartment is full of other foster kids who are all being basically neglected so daisy spends pens time out of the house

this all leads to one day at like 4am daisys out and about as per usual but instead of just messing around shes having a bad time and is doign some arson cause as kids pen and pearl used to spend a lot of time in this lil tiny shack they made for funsies and daisy has been maintaining it ever since while pining over the feelings and pens had enough and burns it to the ground

as this is happening pen sees something fall from the sky and as a 13 year old who is going through it she decides to check it out

and if youve seen the blob then we have the scene were dan the can man picks up the blob with a stick and it falls onto his hand but its daisy seeing the symbiote

obviously this is very scary to a child but whats more scary? the sound of people approaching!! so daisy makes a break for it

and then doesnt show up to school for a week to get used to this situation

now kjhgfghj the problem comes with a angry traumatised 13 year old being combined with venom so pens foster parents get cronched and then the two of them are just doing the worst way to cope with all these feelings by taking it out on everyone

in lighter news we have my green goblin!!! its fucking terrifying

so pov: you are norman osborn, you make the serum and your trying to find out the uses for it all, you sign papers allowing all kinds of experimentation not really caring for what your funding

and you get more than you bargained for

gobby here is a 9 foot tall embodiment of destruction and chaos and that knows who is responsible for its being here

it was "born" in january of 2017, and it escaped in october and oh how it had a plan

but in more kjhgfghj light news the first thing that experienced was the joy of trick or treaters thinking its cool and all thats clothes came from a halloween store and a weird lil girl who gave it her witch hat

after that it wasnt seen for several more months aside from some glances such as being seen on cctv and so on until that found where norman osborn lives and made itself at home

now norman canonly dies in this universe and thats important to gobbys arc cause that doesnt let the world know its out there until norman is no more as that was spending all its time terrorising him for fun and well, that enrichment is gone now, and that wants to play

speaking of norman in this universe is a fuck! :)

pearl already didnt like him prior to the bite cause he owns the building flick lives in and keeps bringing the rent up so everyones struggling and when you see how that effects your family yoru gonna form some strong opinions

i will admit i dont have a lot for him but i do have he has his whole terrorism thing going on by calling himself the green terror and doign that shit after work which leads to his death and thats kjhgfghj all i have but its more than what i have for flint

moving on!! rhino is very heavily inspired by tssm cause i love it so much

his full name is aleksei o'hirn-sytsevich but everyone whos not his mothers side of the family call him alex and hes a trans man!! his mums a first generation russian immigrant and his dads a third generation irish immigrant but he doesnt feel like he belongs to either culture

hes got giganticism! hes pretty good at not causing problems for himself or others by being big but when he was younger he was like a bull in a china shop

his backstory here is he was just a petty thief but then he ended up seeing somethings he shouldnt have and even though he wasnt gonna tell he was still grabbed for it to be safe and then just sorta gaslit and manipulated to getting the suit on so he couldnt tell people

as fucked up as that is hes jsut going along with it jhfdghj like it could be worse hes not dead yknow

and lastly sandman!! i really dont have a lot im afraid

i do have hes a amab enby and is in a relationship with alex cause once again i love tssm and hes got a death hawk that he never properly styles cause he cant be bothered to kjhgfghj

what little i have of a origin for him is just oscorp is involved and its all started cause of alexs disappearence cause he Knows he wouldnt just skip town without telling like 12 people first

so welcome to this essay im so normal

[static-fanatic-1]

Main Four: Escapist S/O with a Three Year Old

This ask disappeared for some reason so I’m really sorry about that. A few other disappeared as well and I don’t know why, luckily I took pictures so I still have them.

Im going to separate them to make it to make it different than the poly relationship ones, I hope you don't mind.

Gon:

• Imagining this baby boy having a baby boy, it's the cutest thing. Not really as a Yandere but you get the point.

• After being gone for four years he became desperate, anyone with any information of you had become important to him. He was patient at first but he can only last so long. He probably went to your family and friends and asked about you. If they know he'll take care of them one way or another.

• Once he finds you he is ecstatic. He sits outside of your apartment, jumping up and down just waiting to walk in and hug you. But when he sees you walking past the slightly open window with something in your arms, he freezes. Gon simply stops and stares at the moving bundle in your arms. At first he might not understand, but once he thinks about what this might mean, he grows furious.

• Lets just say he jumped to the conclusion that it is your but might not be his.

• Gon enters your house by breaking the front door open. You are obviously surprised and jump back from the place near the window, the child in your arms now crying. He storms around the apartment, looking for any sign of another guy in your life. When he finds nothing he storms over to you and demands to know where the baby came from.

• Out of fear of his immense aura, you would be quick to say it's his. Just like that he switches back to his happy, go lucky self.

• You'll be shaken up by this of course, but he won't pay any mind when he rips the child from your arms and holds it in his. He will shush it and calm it down easily while dotting both you and them for doing such a good job.

• Gon will grab your hand and drag you to the couch or bedside, whatever is closer, and hold the both of you close. By now the toddler won't be crying anymore and instead laughing and playing with their dad. They may not have been outright told who their dad was or what they look like, but the baby will know.

• Speaking of the toddler, this thing would be beyond adorable. Big round eyes and a button nose, chubby cheeks and spiky blackish-green hair, they will be adorable.

• I don't think Gon will ask why you left, instead he will just take you two somewhere safe and make sure you can't leave again. You or the child.

Killua:

• Luckily Killua doesn't have a baby thing like Illumi or Kurapika, but he'd still be proud to be a father.

• When he finds you he is beyond surprised that you were able to evade him for such a long time. Sadly the little chase must come to an end, and it ends now.

• You've been gone for so long that anyone who had or as an affiliation with you is dead, pretty much no questions asked. Because you have been running off for so long you probably would not know this, the only way you would be able to escape for so long is because you left everything behind. It's sad but that is how it would have to be.

• When he finds you he will be beyond pissed off, I mean you left him for four years. That won't ever happen again and he'll make sure of it. Still, he won't show how pissed he is, instead it will be covered by an eerily calm and dull mask.

• He would enter the home you've been staying in at night, carefully maneuvering in the dark to get to you. Killua will start to notice some strange things, kids toys? Small baby bottles? He would instantly know why you left, and in return he would understand your fear, but that won't stop him.

• Instead of going to your room he will find out where the toddler is. Killua would sneak in undetected and loom over the crib/small bed, his child resting inside. The assassin would instantly know it's his, his chest swelling with a sense of pride. The fluffy white hair and pale skin are a huge indication as to who is the father.

• Carefully and gently he would wake up the kid, calmly whispering sweet nothings and how his daddy is home. The toddler would instantly understand, and will excitingly jump up and out of bed to tell you.

• You will wake up by being roughly shaken by your kid, a small questioning 'what' slipping past your lips. Why the hell you they be so excited at this hour? But when your sleepy gaze pulls them in, and your eyes settle on the dark figure looming in the doorway, you know what's wrong. Killua would calmly watch before stepping forward into the moonlight.

• You would be afraid, your child would be happy and tapping about how daddy's home, and Killua would have a smug look across his features.

• That will be that, Killua would use the kid as a hostage of sorts, as insurance to keep you with him. The bouncing baby would be a target to his family, but nothing will happen to the kid or you for as long as he lives.

Kurapika:

• Oh dear, one of the scarier yanderes of the Hunter x Hunter universe. At least for me.

• This guy is already unhinged because of you leaving, being gon for so long, without anyone to keep him in check, everyone would be killed.

• Do you guys remember the Kurapika having an S/O who just vanishes? Yeah, he would give up after six or so years, depending on how long it takes to slaughter anyone who might have a vendetta against him.

• When four years hits he is hunting down the Phantom Troupe, at least starting to hunt them down. He will be wondering the rooftops trying to find the Troupe, maybe he is currently trailing a few of them.

• If like to imagine you accidentally bump paths with them on your way to wherever you are going. Like your walking through the streets with your son/daughter and you accidentally bump shoulders with them. You would apologize (like a decent human being) and move on your merry way. (I might actually turn this into a short story because it sounds fun;))

• If That happens Kurapika would be holding his breath, because you have been found and you were too close to the enemy.

• Weare talking about Kurapika so obviously he would be angry you have left, but seeing you happy and with his child... he's beyond relieved. I mean just look at the kid! Cute blonde hair and round, brown eyes with a round face and gleeful smile.

• I can see Kurapika being very calm about the situation, which would be terrifying since he's a bit emotional. He would meet you at your house with a blank expression.

• When you two meet again he will have mixed emotions. Should he be angry, disappointed, relieved, happy? Honestly he doesn't know.

• But he knows one thing, you won't escape again. He will act like the nice guy to your kid and try to paint you as a damsel in distress. He will manipulate your kid to start being as protective as himself, and he will do this with all of your kids. Kurapika wants more children, he wants a big family, and he'll make sure he has one.

• He will trap you and lock you up, making sure your kids learn to be like him. The kids will also be a bargaining chip, you won't want to leave them but they won't want to leave their dad.

• He might not be as angry as usual, but his manipulation will surely compensate.

Leorio:

• This guy would be deathly irritated at everything if you left him for so long. He would snap at pretty much everyone for the smallest of things. But finally, after devoting so much time in finding you he has finally done it.

• Leorio would simply find you in the street and try and pluck you to the side to give you a piece of his mind. Though before he can do that you are met with some other girls, instantly he would be both curious and more irritated.

• He would take his time brooding in the dark alleyways as your group walks to a daycare. The black haired guy would furrow his brows as he watched you smile and pick up a small kid. The two of you would be laughing.

• Leorio's mood is ever changing from irritated to super happy. This would be one of those moments. He would immediately smile to himself and calmly follow you on your way home.

• When you make it home you see a man standing near your doorway, you are nervous about this man but he doesn't seem threatening. That is until you realize who it is.

• Simple 'Hey babe' exchanges will be given, your son/daughter asking who the man is. Your too frozen to answer.

• So he does for you. He'll answer with his name and then his affiliation with you, this will make your child's day. They had a dad?! That crazy!

• They'll jump into Leorio's arms and start talking about random things. Leorio would act as if nothing happened, as if he was just gone on a business trip or something. And that's what the toddler will be told too, he was gone for a really long business trip.

• You on the other hand will know, and despite him not outright using the kid to threaten you, you probably won't even try. His firework like temper would be enough to scare you into submission.

[sokkas-honour]

55 & sokka 🤝

only the good die young - sokka x reader

pairing: sokka x fem!reader

wc: 1.5k

note: i didn’t use the majority of the lyrics for this one so i didn’t include them but it follows the majority of the song’s theme. it’s a bit rushed and honestly not my favourite thing ever but it’ll do :)

warning: i mention a dagger (just existing), mention of a dead family member (no details), that’s all i believe but lmk if there is anything!!

atla taglist: @missmorosis @draqondance @biqherosix

when the avatar and two watertribe members showed up in your temporary home in the northern air temple, it was safe to say that you were surprised.

when your town was destroyed by the fire nation, you joined your cousin teo and his father as they moved into the abandonned air temple and settled in. the last couple of months had been spent in a feeling of totallt security and fun as you would fly around the ancient building with your homemade gliders.

you yourself loved the idea of inventing but they were never actually good or useful, but it was still something that you greatly enjoyed. so when you got to greet the three newcomers, sokka, the non bender, was the first one to spike your interest.

whereas the avatar found the changes to the sacred place to be horrible, the watertribe boy found them fascinating and you approached him.

“hey! i’m y/n, would you like a tour of the place?” you asked as he admired one of the machines, hoping you didn’t disturb him too much.

“of course! i’m sokka.” he turned around, a welcoming smile on his face making you blush slightly.

“great, follow me.” you indicated the direction you were going to with a nod of your head and you both started walking together.

“so, how long have you been here for?” he inquired as you brought him down a hall to the sleeping hall.

“not sure, i’ve lost track if i’m honest.” you turned your head a bit to smile as you shrugged your shoulders, unable to give him a straight answer.

you pushed one of the big doors open and let sokka go in first before following him, letting the large door shut rather loudly.

“this is where we sleep.” extending you hand to show all the sleeping bags. it wasn’t the beds you used all sleep in back in your village but it was a place to rest and the paintings on the wall were magnificent.

“cosy?” he commented, unsure of what to say and it earned a laugh from you. his ears perked up and he felt heat rise to his cheeks, he thought you were pretty when he saw you from afar but from up close, you were breathtakingly gorgeous with a beautiful laugh.

“yeah, you could say that. i can’t imagine your sleeping quarters are as nice while you travel with the avatar are they?” you inquired when you finally calmed down. making your way to the other side of the room to go down to another hallway.

“sleeping bags on hard earth isn’t always pleasant but we make do with what we have.” he answered as he kept up with you.

“i could imagine. what’s it like travelling with the avatar?” you spun around rather quickly, excitement in your words at the idea of getting to travel the world.

“it’s really fun, i mean not the getting chased by the firenation part but other then that, it’s neat.” his purposefully said that part in order to get a giggle from you and he did, making his heart warm.

“it’s neat?” you made fun of his choice of words before turning around to continue guiding him down a hall.

“uh yeah, it’s neat. apart from the whole your sister being a waterbender and your friend being the actual avatar. it definitely sucks to be the only non bender sometimes.” he sighed, deciding that he might as well dump his problem onto someone he’ll probably never see again even if he hoped that’s not the case.

“i get that, the things that teo’s father has built makes you forget that there’s some sort of uneven playing field between us and benders, even if we don’t have any earth enders among us.” you explained. your uncle had provided all the refugees with so many opportunities like his own form gliding like airbenders, a compressed air elevator to travel between the many floors among other things.

“but i’d love to travel the world. getting to explore this air temple has been fun but it awakened some sort of lust for discovering the world in me but i’m stuck here.” you continued. you figured that you had both somehow created a safe space to express your problems within minutes of knowing each other.

“you could come with us! i’m sure aang and katara wouldn’t mind and i’d love to have another nonbender.” he suggested, getting excited from the idea he came up with and voiced.

“but i’m kinda useless, i’m not that skilled of a fighter, i have no idea how to even use this dagger.” you explained, unsheathing your late fathers pearl-handled dagger.

“woah, where did you get that.” sokka leaned in to get a better look at the beautiful and priceless weapon before you put in back into its sheath and repositioned it on your waist. he hadn’t noticed it when he first saw you.

“it belonged to my father. he gave it to me before he died in the siege of ba sing se. i don’t really remember him.” you admitted, avoiding his gaze as you explained the history of the dagger.

“oh y/n, i’m so sorry. i lost my mother to the fire nation too.” the watertribe boy placed his arms on your shoulders and you redirected his gaze to his and smiled in thanks.

“it’s fine, im sorry for your mother. but i’d love to know how to use it, no one here knows how to.” you sighed, abrudptly turning around to return to your tour, leaving sokka to think about how to convince you to get you to come with them to the north pole.

-

after the whole fiasco with the firenation and discovering that your uncle was in fact working with them, though not out of pleasure, you felt almost overwhelmed with everything. it didn’t help when before leaving, sokka approached you.

“hey so um, y/n.” he tapped on your shoulder as you stared at the clouds, pulling you out of your thoughts and reflecting on the days events.

“yeah sokka?” you didn’t bother turning around and waited for what he had to say.

“i talked with aang and katara, they’re both more than happy to have you accompany us to the north pole. if you want to of course!” he stammered the last part, not wanting to pressure you into anything.

“i don’t know sokka. i’ve never been away from my family. and i don’t think it’s what my parents would have wanted.” you hesitated. you kept your gaze on the clouds as you pondered the idea. you desperately wanted to leave and explore the world but at what cost? leaving everything youve ever known behind you. your dad wanted you to stay with your uncle and help protect your cousin, even if you weren’t skilled.

“come on y/n, only the good die young.” he insisted.

“huh?” this time you turned to face the blue eyed boy, confusion written all over your face.

“what i mean is, don’t you think your parents would want you to travel with the avatar and save the world? if you keep holding yourself back, you’ll live a miserable life in the end.” he explained.

“you don’t know what my parents would want, my dad said he wanted to be protect my cousin, even if i know absolutely no combat skills. and my life isn’t miserable! i love my life here!” you lashed out, annoyed at the idea that sokka would know what was good for you. you really did want to leave but out of spite to what he said, you suddenly didn’t want to.

“listen y/n, i shouldn’t have said that but i spoke about it with teo and your uncle, and they both said that they thought you’d flourish and thrive if you got out of the air temple and explored.” sokka apologised but kept pressing his point and this time, he convinced you.

“all right, let me pack my bags and say goodbye then i’ll find you?” he smiled, happy he was able to convince you. he’d be able to spend more time with you, get to know you, and be able to teach you how to use your dagger properly. he might even get to kiss you if the connection between the two of you grew.

“sounds perfect.”

“see you in a minute sokka.” you kissed his cheek and ran to say your goodbyes to everyone, your family and your friends and to grab your bag. leaving the watertribe boy with a dumb and in love grin with a slight red shade covering his cheeks.

[remsmoonlight]

— title : broken facade ( part one ? )

— word count : 2.6 k words

— pairing : john wick x reader

— summary : john thought he could keep his old world dead and buried, he was wrong

— warnings : mentions of death, blood, extremely minor swearing, kidnapping, mentions of drugging.. idk maybe a bit of hurt and angst? idk where i was going with this i spent so long on it lmao im very sorry

Nothing can be heard over the continuous shattering of the fractured pieces of a silent promise he repeated to himself every morning he woke and the last thing that ran through his mind before he would cease to resist the urge to sleep. It’s the only promise kept hidden from you and there was no going back from its state of shards, what kind of man is he if the one thing he kept close to his heart is no more.

Never let that life lay a finger on them.

Now, here he is. Knowing that the life he had previously led has wormed itself back to him, it has sullied your spirit and for that, he can find no forgiveness in his soul for himself. It’s him that is why you have been torn away from him so mercilessly, why you are in the situation you are in. He would give his life a thousand times and a thousand times over if it means you are safe, away from the harsh and cold blooded world he knows so well.

Although, the remnants of his old life is not a friend greeting him after an age has passed, but rather.. a  foe that wishes to lead him down the trail to its murky depths.

He assumes that the steering wheel that is gripped so stiffly by his hands only wish to buckle and crumble under the weight he is setting down upon it, though there is no other way to channel the highly agitated energy that swirls within him. Until you are back in his arms can he find the strength to completely calm the brutal waters that wish to overwhelm him, the only thing saving him is the objective that is removing you from the grasps of the Tarasovs’.

The same is unable to be said for you, the fear that you feel coursing throughout your entire being is the only thing that you can concentrate on. This is the clearest you have been for days, since you had been taken from your refuge from the world. You are sure that you’ve been drugged, though you can’t decide truly if that fact is a blessing or a curse. Being an unwilling participant in whatever you had found yourself in would prove difficult for those who held your life in their hands, and as much as you want to put up a fight, it’s impossible. You can see just how tense everyone in this cold, desolate room is. It’s not ideal to prod and provoke the Devil, especially as it has the power to rip you from the reality you know.

Your heart swells from the haunting image that plays continuously like an olden film, with the grit and burns. It’s a desire that you yearn so intensely for to rid your brain of the bloodied and battered John, you had never seen him so defenseless. You wonder if he is still breathing, if he is suffering from being so broken.

“ hey! why don’t you just let me go? “ you call out to anyone in the room, your fingers fidgeting anxiously with the threads of the scarf wrapped protectively around your neck.

“ shut the fuck up! “

You switch your gaze from the man who yelled, knowing that there is no point in arguing, to the one playing on the game console. Fear and self preservation that rules your body into silence battling with the confusion you find yourself experiencing at how one of the other men could feel so relaxed to the point he can play games.

Though he’s not the one who’s been kidnapped you think with a stern frown deeply painting your features, you simply wished you could be wrapped up in your duvet with a straight to dvd cheap movie playing.

The next moment a colossal bang erupted, spilling through the entirety of the room -- you have no idea where to look, your entire feeling as if it had been frozen in a moment of time. It’s not until a thud pulls you out of your cloud, and it’s one of the men who have fallen to the ground. Your eyes widen at the sight, you’ve seen such brutality in movies and television shows but never could they capture the true horror that lays in front of you.

The crimson liquid is never ending as it exits from the wound, you want to rip your eyes away from the repulsive scene yet you find yourself in a trance, with a magnetic pull that refuses to bend its will to yours. Only when your skin feels fingers digging deep into clothed flesh is your head able to turn, your feet already on the move. Your eyes refuse to acknowledge the further death that lay motionlessly on the floor, the bodies as cold as the temperature.

Rumbles fill your hearing, it’s hardly a chore to know that they’re under attack, by who you have little idea. Though a tiny spark of hope, so small it’s hardly noticeable, hums in your core. Perhaps it may be the authorities, here to put a permanent end to your newfound nightmare. Whatever it is, it has these men scared -- though, when you think back.. they have been on edge since you have had the unfortunate experience of knowing them. No matter how hard you previously tried to decipher some sort of idea, even a faded picture of what you have been caught up in, they were quick to respond with venom and hostility.

“ let go of me! “ words tumble from your lips as you try to dig your feet in further to the metal steps, hands clawing at the railings as if they could protect you.

Nothing is said to you, had it not been for the male’s grip on your arm, you could assume that they have no idea of your presence. Countless nights you had found yourself wishing for such, that they would forget your existence and you would be then able to escape. Never has that wish been granted.

Burns from the metal grasped so firmly scorch your palms, you can feel the need to survive driving yourself to fight and struggle.. opportunities to escape had been bare, the one presented now is one that you refuse to elude you so swiftly. Again, a body drops from a gunshot -- your shock proving more of a force than anything, because the hold that had been so secure on your arm severs without you comprehending it for a passing moment in time.

The leap your heart completes knows no bounds, the disturbance at seeing the violence occur at the man you have only known to be gentle and warm overwhelmed by your exhilaration that he is there and safe. John hardly acknowledges you as he passes your trembling form, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only. It’s no surprise when you decide to turn away, not wishing to have your image of him shattered any more than it has already. Though, you wonder how detrimental protecting your dream like depiction of him is.

A faze, it’s all your mind can think of describing the journey from the harsh confines of the barren property to where you reside currently. The journey from one place to the other mesh together, your memories betraying you in your inability to process everything that happened.

A hand grazes your skin comfortingly, though the suddenness pulls you out from beneath your thoughts.

“ i’m sorry. “ John speaks, keeping his eyes straight ahead on the road.

A frown sketches itself onto your brows as you turn to face him, you are unable to understand what he means by his words. The scenery passes by in a blur, stuck in a timeless state of thinking, you realise that you’ve not responded to him. How do you respond to something like? You wonder to yourself, loathing the fact that you cannot reply, a misunderstanding of rejection isn’t something needed for the moment. Against your better judgement, you need the opposite.

“ John - I - what? “

The feather like weight on your hand is still there, though now there is a contrast of tenderness and peace that had only known violence and blood exploring the expanse of his fingertips, only now a ghostly image not yet faded.

“ it got worse for you, because of me. “ he replies with a pitch as solid as stone, still refusing to make eye contact.

Though it’s not known to you that the reason he refuses to look at you is because he cannot yet come to terms with the fact that the two significant fractions of his life, the past and the present, have collided so effortlessly. He doesn’t yet want to acknowledge his part to play in the scars of his old word being the reason your surface now bears the brunt of being blemished by its cold, callous hands. He doesn’t want to have to bear witness to the tears that have stained your usually bright features, knowing the darkness that had once consumed his life wished to stretch its skeletal grip to you, threatening to eclipse the light of hope you unknowingly provide every chance he gets to set his sights on your form.

“ you’re not making any sense. “ you turn to face him now, trying to read his expression. Though, it’s at a loss. When he needs to be, he can be extremely hard to read.

“ that guy? the one I shot.. I used to work for his father. “

You blink, still failing to see the picture. You’re able to make a mental sketch, but you still need final pieces. Yes, he was connected.. but how is he at fault? Was it some sort of vengeance? Blackmail? The list is an endless trail your mind explores at the new piece of information, however it’s only John who can provide the key.

“ what does that have to do with everything that happened? “

“ there’s a reason why I’ve never told you much about my past. “ he replies softly, his mind wandering to find the most rational way to word the difficult tale, whose twists and turns trailed over it as if they were no more than a line of vines full of poison.

Though, the inner voice belonging to him knows there is no outcome that bodes well for him, the inevitable can’t be written off nor can it be denied.

“ so tell me, please? “ you plead with him, your nervous energy building and building in the tips of your fingers. They tap on the end of the car seat as you wait for his response.

“ before we met, I did things. I killed. “

It has to be quick John thinks to himself. There’s not a way that what he has to say, his past can be primped and perfumed into a pretty little picture, not when that picture is haunted by all the life that had been ripped from the world by his hand.

“ this is a joke, right? “ you laugh, incredulously. Gazing at his form it was as if the energy around him had inverted, there is no way that John, your John could do such things. The gentle smile of his, the thoughtfulness he demonstrates each day would battle his words, but the solidity and lack of humour being shown from him..? You’re tempted to believe.

“ I wish it was. “

“ there’s.. I don’t even know what to say. “ your brows furrow low, a bleakness setting itself into your expression as you try to come to terms with his answer.

“ you don’t have to. “ he speaks with difficulty, while he had expected more hatred from your eyes, he dares not to hope you will stay. Not after everything he has brought down upon you.

Fresh tears build up, until they are no more than a glassy barrier preventing clear vision. You will them to recede, to fade away until they’re nothing more than shadows. You have seen many horrors, more in the past week than your whole life and the man you love has had a direct part in that? You can’t erase the images of him gunning your captor, but you can’t erase all the sweet whispers after nights of lust and love, all the hours spent talking about life and what you would do. A stark contrast to the man you first got to know.

“ this isn’t something I can pretend to understand, but why hold something like this from me? Why wouldn’t you tell me eventually? “ you question, many emotions are clawing over each other to rise to your surface, preventing you from thinking straight.. yet it’s frustration that is victorious.

“ I never thought I'd be back. “

“ you need to understand, things like that? They don’t go away, they have a way of coming back and biting you in the ass. “

“ yeah, I see that now. “

A groan erupts from your parted lips, dropping your head in your hands. Your fingers drag their way across your scalp, this is something you argue would be seen in a movie.. not your life. The feelings you have are conflicted and inconsistent, any normal person would jump out of the moving care.. but a part of you can’t cast him aside so easily. What you have, that’s what you know is real.

“ John, I - I need time. At the minute.. I just don’t know what to think. With everything that’s happened. “

“ I get that. You’ll be seen to, for your injuries. “

A smile, small in size lifts the darkness from your eyes ever so slightly. Your injuries are bare, save for a few scrapes on your face. It’s the mental ones that begin to frighten you. They’re not so easily treatable. A smile that wishes with all its might that it is so easy.

“ to be honest.. I just want to go home. “ you lift your head up from its concealment as you share to him your one simple desire, your eyes imploring him to follow through with your request.

“ soon. “ he finally turns his head to look at you, to finally see you properly. All he wants is for you to be safely protected in his arms, as he mutters countless apologies that he longs you forgive him for. By no means is he a perfect man, but he can strive for such for you.

“ John, I’m not dead. I’m just tired. “

“ please, don’t. “

It’s curious, the tone in his voice as he replies to you. You can’t place it, though it’s very unlike him. Your left hand removes itself from the warmth of his palm to place yours atop of his, lending your warmth and comfort to him. The fact that both of you have fresh mental scars from the ordeal is becoming promptly evident.

“ I just want to make sure you’re okay. “

“ John, I don’t know what to think, what to feel. This is just.. the craziest thing. “

“ yeah, and it’s my fault. “ he exclaims lowly, as if he’s speaking more to himself than you. Berating himself for something that was never in his control.

You shake your head, hating the way he’s talking of himself. It’s enough to rouse some anger within you, though you know better than to make the situation between the two of you worse.

“ look, I know I can’t make you think otherwise.. but you never took me away. You never hid me from building to building, you were the one who saved me. “ you argue, ferocity cautiously coating your words. Your grip settled on top of his hand growing. “ I can’t stop seeing what you did, but you were the one who got me out. I need some quiet from it all. “

Your words, you hope, are strong. Trying to separate what you have seen that day is not something that will come as light as the clouds above your head do when they shower upon you, the thought that you fear you may never do is something you keep close to your chest for now.

To protect the both of you.

[xiaodejunletsact]

say it | dong sicheng

word count: 4,021

genre: royalty!au, princess!reader, servant/ best friend!sicheng, fluff and lil bit of angst and smut.

warnings: attempted sexual assault (nothing to graphic but still), violence, implied sex (well, kinda just sex)

author’s note: hey!! so i literally pulled this out of my ass as a little present for all of my followers as a thank you for getting me to 1K followers!!! i can’t thank you guys enough for supporting my work and i can’t believe im already at 1k what the fuckk. anyway,, i wrote this little au for y’all just a warning; its not very good since i wrote it so last minute but i still hope you guys enjoy it. actor!xiaojun is going to be done soon so please look forward to it!! once again thank you :)

synopsis: after years of not knowing what the feelings stirring in your heart for the young servant boy you know as your best friend were, an incident with a disgusting duke and the moonlight on sicheng’s face help you find your answer.

The only thing more suffocating than the corset wrapped tightly around your waist was the predatory stare the Duke of the neighboring kingdom was giving you from across the dining table.

Out of all the potential suitors your mother has picked in her 4 months of searching, this one was surely one of the worst; he was evidently almost twice your age; the top his shiny head was beginning to appear beneath the three pathetic strands brushed over to conceal the clear sign of his age. His hands were free of calluses and his neat nails were clear indication of the amount of work this man does in his everyday life. Once you finally look at his face, you realize that you have found the worst part of him: his eyes. The light blue of them that is usually seen as beautiful leans more towards grey causing an almost lifeless and frightening affect upon them, they’re hooded as they stare back at you; the shivers that go up your spine force you to look away, redirecting your gaze to your hands.

You smile when you see the neatly bent wire wrapped around your index finger, the helix shape it made as it circled your finger takes you back to the moment you received the makeshift ring.

You hadn’t known Sicheng very well at the time but you knew that he came from a poor family, your mother had taken in with the exchange of them doing the labor and work around the palace. He was only 16 when you met him for the first time, black hair falling slightly over his eyes as he frantically apologizes for god knows what only to stopped by your gentle hand on his, telling him it’s okay. He visibly calms at this before standing up straighter, trying hard to rebalance all the tray of pots and dishes he carries in his shaky hands. You can tell he’s struggling, but he covers up his failed attempts to calm down with a sweet (and slightly embarrassed) smile. That’s when you decide that you liked Sicheng. Maybe not in a romantic way, but in a way that you knew you wanted to spend more time with the young servant boy.

Which you did by following around the boy as he did his chores and asking him any questions that popped into your head, which he tried to answer the best he could while he body was racked with nerves. However, after a while, the conversation started to flow easier, Sicheng started to ask you questions back and openly display an emotion other than stoic. He would laugh out loud and even nudge your shoulder from time to time in playful gesture. Sicheng realizes he likes you too.

That’s why one day, as you two side by side down the palace halls on the way to the kitchen, Sicheng pulls a silver object of the pocket of his worn out pants and brings it up to your face. “My mother told me that my father gave her a ring as a promise to forever be loyal to her and… I just wanted you to know that I will forever be loyal to you, princess y/n.”

It’s difficult to explain the emotions that were going through you at the moment but they lead up to you happily throwing your arms around the boy, squeezing him tight enough that he can feel the genuine appreciation for the thoughtful gift. You don’t see is Sicheng’s face becoming beet red as you wrap your arms around him but you feel his arms wrap around you slowly, hesitantly, and his head lean on top of yours. When you slip the ring onto your index finger with a fond smile on your face, Sicheng has to look down at his feet to ensure that he hasn’t elevated off the ground and is floating above your head because of how happy he is.

“Is there something you find humorous, my lady?” You immediately snap out of your daydream as the taunting voice of the Duke brings you back to reality. You almost roll your eyes but smile politely, shaking your head.

“No, not particularly.”

“You were smiling just seconds ago.”

“Was I? I must have done it unconsciously.” You almost sighed in relief as he seems to buy it, nodding his head and standing up.

“Shall we take a walk around the palace?” He walks around the table and towards the exit of the dining room, not awaiting your response. You reluctantly stand get on your feet, sending reassuring smiles to the maids you sent apologetic ones you way before leaving the room.

-

“It’s a bit dusty on this shelf don’t you think?” The man’s white finger comes down on the counter in a swiping motion, picking up the grand total of about 4 dust particles. He shows you he clean finger as he makes a disgusted face. You think you might die.

That is, until you see a familiar face turning the corner. You feel relief rush through your body as you see the black hair you know so well. The voice of the Duke drowns out once again as you watch Sicheng dust a painting at the end of the hall. He has changed since the time you first met, he’s taller and slimmer. The baby face you once knew is long gone, replaced with sharp angles. The broadness of his shoulder has surely reached maximum capacity by this point, and you it quickly turns into one of those moments where you begin to wonder when did Sicheng get so… hot? These days you often catch yourself staring at him but so did every other normal person in the castle. While you were busy thinking about the hotness of your best friend your potential suitor has taken the liberty of calling him over to dust the shelves on the palace walls.

Sicheng’s presence is like a lavender candle, the closer he gets the more relaxed and at ease you feel. You nearly jump of joy when he’s right beside you. “Yes, your majesty?”

“Clean these shelves, boy. The person who did who did clearly didn’t know what they were doing because these shelves are filthy.”

You nearly snort at his statement, seeing as that you and Sicheng had dusted the shelves together that same morning.

“Of course.” Sicheng replies, carefully maneuvering the duster around the designs of the fancy shelf, cleaning off whatever it is the Duke has seen. Meanwhile the Duke goes off about the time he spent studying in Spain, and this conversation, much like the others gets drowned out. This time, by the outline of Sicheng’s back muscles through his white shirt as he dusts those shelves like a pro.

“Princess, your mind is awfully distant today.” The old man shoots you an accusing and annoyed look that shoots between you and Sicheng. You realize that he had caught you staring at the servant and was now giving you a judgemental look. “Is there something you need from this servant boy?”

Sicheng finally turns towards, keeping a straight face while making eye contact with you for the first time since you entered the hall. (Sicheng was told to not interact with you with suitors came to visit since it could put them off.) The Duke must see the corners of your lips tug slightly into a soft smile at the interaction because he suddenly steps between you two, clearing his throat simultaneously reminding you of his question. “Not right now.” But there is. You need him to get you out of here, you need him to whisk you away to the garden so you can water plants together and be at peace. Though you would never say any of these things to the old man because he would realize that you needed Sicheng in a way very different to the one he had thought of.

He watches you with suspicious eyes as you try your best to not show any of the emotions running through you right now, which proves to be harder than you expected. What with the scrutinizing gaze of the Duke and Sicheng’s gentle smile peering over his shoulder.

“Shall we continue the tour?” You suggested, desperate to move to a different topic of conversation. Thankfully, the man agrees and walks ahead of you, only after sending a dirty look Sicheng’s way.

-

“This is my bedroom.” You trace your hand across the intricate design of the familiar door, slowly moving past it to next room only to be stopped by the Duke’s hand on your arm, pulling you back. The second you meet his eyes you wish you could run away. The pale blue, dead looking eyes you hate so much stare back at you, this time, they hold a predatory feel. His intentions clear.

“I would love to see it.” You gulp, thinking of ways to politely decline his offer. However, you have no time to do so since the man is suddenly opening your door and dragging you into the room.

He examines the room with a somewhat judgmental look. Frowning slightly as he sees the odd knick knacks and artifacts you had collected with Sicheng over the years lining your window sills and filling up the majority of your desk. “This is very…interesting.”

You notice the wince in his voice as he says the words still, you force a smile. “Thank you, I got them from a good friend of mine.”

“Sit on the bed with me, princess.”

You feel your body go rigid when he says those words. Sweat begins to pool around the neck of your dress and you become hyper aware of all your surroundings. You’re nearly shaking as the man pulls you to the bed. No matter how hard you try, you can’t find it in you fight back. You don’t know why. Maybe fear. But you seem to become his puppet for a moment as he sits you down next to him on you nearly made bed.

“You know princess,” The man whispers into your ear causing shivers of disgust to go down your spine, you feel like you might cry as he moves even closer to you. His breath fanning your neck in a way that makes you sick. “I can’t be your suitor until I see what you have to offer.”

You feel yourself begin to feel sick and even then, you do nothing to stop it. It’s like you’ve lost full control of your body. Tears start running down your cheeks as the man leans forward and presses a sloppy kiss on your neck. You curl away in disgust, causing the man to look at you with an offended look.

And that’s when you see the familiar shoes from under your door frame.

“Sicheng!” You shoot up, pushing the man’s hands off of you. “Please, help!” The Duke’s hands are immediately on you again although now, they are over your mouth, being used to silence you. You try desperately to push away but his grip on you is tight. That is, until his hands are being pried off of you and his body is thrown on the floor in front of you. Suddenly you feel a pair of rough yet soft hands of either side of your face.

“Y/N?”

It’s only when you open your eyes that you realize that they were closed to begin with. The sight of Sicheng’s eyes calms you almost immediately (you were almost positive he was your remedy). His worried eyes bore into yours as he wipes away your tears with his thumbs. “Y/n, what happened? What did he do to you?”

You can only hiccup as you recall the event, the helplessness you felt and the pure disgust the memory brings you. Sicheng watches in concern as you sob in his hands, anger rushes through his blood as he turns to the man lying on the floor. Crouching down to his level, he grabs a fistful of the man’s expensive dress shirt. “What did you do to her?”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Sicheng this angry. His forearm is bulging from the tight grip he has on the man’s shirt, the veins on his flushed neck protruding as he clenches his jaw at the man under him. “What did you do to the princess?” He repeats through clenched teeth.

The Duke stays quiet beneath him before daring to utter the words with a laugh: “Just sampling the goods.”

Before you know it, Sicheng’s fist was connecting with the side of the man's jaw. Only to be followed by another and another. Until two of the guards who had heard the commotion came running in, they both woke together to detach Sicheng from the bloodied man. Who stands up and sends Sicheng a threading glare before turning your way. He laughs incredulously in your direction and leaves the room with the little dignity he had left.

-

Once the Queen catches word of the incident, the Duke is banned from ever setting foot in the kingdom again, and she promises you to not bring in any more potential suitors for the time being. Saying she wanted to give you some time to recover from the traumatic incident.

And although she is grateful for the fact that he had stopped the Duke from taking advantage of you, The Queen was adamant on carrying out punishments. Sicheng was told not to interact with you while the suitors were here much less in such a violent manner. Even though the Queen loved Sicheng almost as much as you she did give him the weak punishment of staying two weeks in the underground servants quarters. Which moved his duties from the main palace floor to the kitchen and stables, which were inarguably the hardest jobs to perform around the palace, although you felt guilty for your friend, you knew you’re mother was only giving him a light punishment compared to what she could’ve done, so you stay quiet. Sicheng assured you that he would be fine down there but even then you found yourself sneaking out of your room at half past 1 with your thick duvet wrapped around your head, dragging behind you on your way down to the underground servants quarters.

When you reach the room Sicheng was staying in, you turn the doorknob gently as to not make too much noise. Then you’re met with makes your heart ache slightly. Sicheng is lying on a small bed with his bare back facing you, nothing but a thin sheet covering his legs. He shivers slightly as a cool breeze comes through the window and brushes against his body.

“Sicheng.”

The poor frightened boy shoots up from his bed at the sight of your unexpected presence. His hand falls over his heart as his eyes widen, his breathing calming down as he realizes it’s just you. “You scared me.”

You giggle, “I can see that.”

Seeing you like this makes Sicheng heart flutter, duvet wrapped around your head and sweet giggles leaving your lips. He nearly becomes mush as he remembers that this is a sight only he gets to see, and a memory that will be just his forever. He smiles, “What are you doing here?”

“I just can’t stand the thought of you being alone down here. It’s really chilly tonight too.” Your words scause Sicheng to smile once again, he scoots over until he’s against the wall to make room for you. You lay your body next to him and throw your duvet over the two of you. Sicheng sighs as he’s engulfed by the warmth of the duvet and your body, he then nuzzles his head into the covers cutely.

The bed is smaller than you thought it would be; you and Sicheng were practically pressed against each other. (Not than either of you were complaining.) The feeling of his bare skin under the covers causes your heart to race.

Once you’ve both settled in, facing each other as your eyes take in his face and his yours, a comfortable silence settles. The moonlight coming in through the window looks extra beautiful when it’s draped across your face, Sicheng thinks. His hand reaches up to stroke your cheek softly in an affection gesture that is not rare between you two.

“Thank you for stopping that guy yesterday,” you break the silence with the words you’ve hadn’t gotten the chance to say, “You’re my hero, Sicheng.” Though your words are childish, you couldn’t have meant them more. Without Sicheng, you would be nowhere. Those words were the only ones even remotely close to doing justice to the gratitude and love you feel for the boy laying across from you. Who smiles slightly at your words.

“You don’t have to thank me, princess. You know I would do anything for you.” It’s your turn to smile as he gazes down at you affectionately. You bring your hand up to his face and show him your ring.

“My most loyal companion.” He chuckles lightly before taking your hand in his and laying them, intertwined, between your bodies. “I want to give you something too, so you can remember that I will also always be loyal to you, Sicheng.”

Sicheng smiles but shakes his head politely, “You coming all the way down here in the middle of the night just because you thought I would be lonely was enough to remind me of your loyalty.”

You chuckle before looking up at Sicheng’s face once again. Then, it’s like the scene begins play in slow motion, the soft smile he’s wearing tugs your heartstrings a specific way, the moonlight in his eyes twinkle a bit brighter and it dawns on you…

Sicheng was your best friend. Sicheng was the one you could confide in the most. Sicheng has always taken care of you and helped you through your hardest times. Sicheng was someone you could always count on. Sicheng is the love of your life.

You’re in love with Sicheng.

The feeling had always been there, but you never knew what exactly it was that you were feeling.

The realization crashes into you like a wrecking ball, and the boy in question seems to notice. “What’s wrong?” Concern has seeped into the features of his face and you desperately wanted it to go away and be replaced with the gentle smile he was wearing moments ago. “You face turned serious all of the sudden.”

Another silence washes over the two of you as watch him be for another few minutes, processing the new found information. You know there’s no time like the present, there is no man like the one across from you and there’s no chance you’re going to let this perfect moment pass.

“Sicheng?”

“Hmm?”

“How would you feel if I told you I was in love with you?”

The boy immediately sits up on the small bed, eyes wide giving you dejavú to the moment you walked into the room earlier that night. “What?”

You swallow the lump in your throat as you realize that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. All that courage you felt just minutes ago nowhere to be see. “I’m… I’m in love with you.”

You avoid his gaze that is currently burning holes into the side of your head. You attempt to hide your blushing face under the covers only to have them pulled down by Sicheng, who pulls you into a kiss that was gentle enough to send you mind reeling but hard enough that you feel all the oxygen in your lungs leaving. Leaving you breathless.

You can’t believe this is happening.

Neither can Sicheng.

As you pull away and look Sicheng’s glassy eyes and swollen lips, everything feels so dreamy, you have a hard time believing this is real.

Sicheng decides to speak first, “Are you really in love with me?”

Your eyes quickly become teary like his, you nod. “I am, Sicheng.”

A laugh escapes his lips as a tear falls out of his eye, though he wipes it away quickly. “You’re in love with me. I can’t believe… you love me back.” The sincerity that stares back you as reaches up to wipe away the tear that had fallen from the corner of your eye.

The room is filled with the sound of soft sniffles and the love that radiates off of your bodies. Which settles for a few minutes until Sicheng decides to break the silence.

“It won’t be easy for us, you know.” His words carry a worrisome tone that reminds you of the fact that you are the princess, and (even though you didn’t see him as one) Sicheng was in fact a servant in the castle. You were supposed to marry a rich prince that would benefit the political affairs of your kingdom, Sicheng can’t do that.

But Sicheng can make you laugh like no other, he can ease your stress and cure your sadness like it’s his specialty. Sicheng can protect you and keep you safe from the world.

Sicheng takes care of the older maids when they fall sick, he helps people around the town with their chores when he has finished his own, he always thinks about the people around him before he thinks about himself. He doesn’t have anything to offer other then a heart of gold and good intentions.

What better person is there to be king?

“I know,” you bring your hand up to stroke his messy black hair, running your fingers through it before letting it fall back to its original place on his forehead. “We will have fights and people won’t agree with our relationship, we will have to be strong Sicheng. It will be worth it in the end.”

A closed lipped smile makes its way onto Sicheng’s face and he pulls you closer to him, his hand grips the back of your nightshirt tightly as presses your foreheads together. His breath fans on your mouth as he whispers the words he can now say whenever he pleases, “I love you.”

You chuckle and say them back. You say it again and again and again until his lips are back on yours. You keep saying as his kisses reach your neck and jaw, this time with a breathy tone to them; elated and breathless at the feeling of his warm mouth on your neck.

You say it when he finally finds his rightful place between your legs, hands on your hips as he slowly enters you, the sheets thrown off your bodies because of the increasing heat radiating off the two of you. “My Queen.” He sighs as he looks down at you, his eyes are hooded and lust filled, messy hair sticking to his forehead. Sweat drips down his chest and toned abdomen causing your mouth water.

You say it with your hands in his hair as his sweaty body crashes onto yours, your breaths meet and mix between you before he leans forward and presses one last long kiss on your swollen lips.

His sleepy smile is the last thing you before you fall fast asleep that night, Sicheng’s arm around your waist pulling you against him so he could feel you while he slept.

-

The Queen chuckles slightly as she walks into her daughter’s bedroom only to find it empty and the duvet missing. She figured you would end up in the underground servants quarters with Sicheng. You always did have a pull towards that boy, as did he for you.

Sighing, she leaves the room towards her office in the castle where her maid sits at the desk writing. “Darling, will you please send a message to the Southern prince who was supposed to come here in 3 weeks? Tell him to not go through the hassle of traveling all the way up here.” The Queen sees the confused look on the woman’s face and clarifies her words, “I think Princess Y/N has already found what she has been searching for.”

[kyanmaaaa]

i told my bro abt this dream and hes just like why are your dreams so dark (so like, tw for this one)

but honestly i didnt really consider this dark it was oddly beautiful if scary. im going to fill in parts with what i think could have happened there but im also not going to include the details for what the room looked like in every scene besides whats neccassary, cause this was so vivid i could try to describe to you what each PERSON looked like and people usually dont even have faces in my dreams!

its still long so heres a read more

beginning of the dream im walking home at dusk and im coming from a direction i almost nvr walk, except for when its halloween. so it may have been halloween in my dream, the sunset is a beautiful BRIGHT orange and its on the side of my house rather than behind like it usually is but thats a minor detail.

cause around the house behind mine theres a very strange cloud formation, much lower than i usually see clouds and its not foggy but its just, theres clouds wrapped around the house except for the front and the wall just goes up and up and up to the top and slightly past the house. paired with the sunset i think thats really beautiful so i take some pics with my phone and go closer just to see how close i can get before the clouds disappear and then i’ll go home

i didnt get to go home, the clouds wrapped fully around the house and a strong, something, stopped me from leaving. also there was like an evil to/riel so she mighta been the one doing that

next part of the dream kinda jumps around so ill have to infer some parts but essentially the house changes from the building ive seen there for you know, my entire life, to a small dark wooden mansion. also muffet is there and guess what she ALSO sucks. and then theres this bitch blond haired human pony tail man and hes dumb and i dont like him. im not allowed to leave and im kinda enslaved i guess (my bro called me a prisoner with a job when i told him and it was stupid funny). muffets off on a job after i get settled in there and i dont know what happens to make me so submissive considering the next part of the dream focuses on another servant but whatever they did was REALLY REALLY BAD cause at every point after this im terrified of fucking up and ive pretty much given up on getting out.

this next part was more of a flashback sequance that happened later but for ease of reading im going to add it here instead. first other servant i meet is a beautiful large green shiny beetle man, seriously hes gorgeous and so well spoken and kind. when he was brought into the house he was introduced as just a regular human man, still as beautiful as ever tho, was hired to play piano for a party. as hes fiddling away with the keys though if you looked around you could see bright shiny green and gold strings just, laying flat against the wall, piano, his suit, etc. turns out those were his beetle wings but stretched out and distorted and at this point hes discovered cause to the untrained eye those look like decorations, but its how his kind disguises themselves. cause he can change his entire appearance except for his wings, so they have to try and hide their wings in the environment around them.

they didnt like him lying but it was calm at first. muffet invites him to a small welcoming dinner, just for a chat. they share a platter of food on one plate, partly meat, but most of whats facing him is just a lot of rice packed into a line. he slowly pecks away at that as he carries a polite conversation with muffet, but nvr touches the other side of the food. after hes abt halfway through it she asks “Why aren’t you trying the other food deary?” and he responds “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to Miss.” and has a bite.

after whatevers in that food kicks in he keels over in pain and she makes it very clear how things go in this house. he listens, he does not act without being told to, and if he ever tries to pull a stunt like that again he’ll be dead. “Am I clear deary?”

since he was there before i was some times passed since that happened. hes currently being punished by mr asshole blond ponytail man and his punishment is all of his meals are very plain. just rice and unseasoned meat. the chef clearly put effort into each platter tho as theyve been shaped into increasingly elaborate shapes the longer the punishment lasts. im not quite sure why this is a punishment? maybe beetle man isnt getting all the nutrients he needs and thats harder for his kind, perhaps he has a taste for good food and this is just the most the ponytail dude can get away with as a punishment since muffets in charge of the house, or maybe its meant to bring up bad memories of when he first came here.

this next parts, really foggy

back to me and muffets talking to someone through a large portal in the room? plans are made abt making humans lose hope and wiping out humanity. the vegan next to me is very excited abt this and comments on it and im just like, bro, that would be super bad for the earth and also immoral? and shes like oh right. at some point i befriend a guy even tho we hated each other at first but he’s moved elsewhere after some time

time skip to muffet informing me that due to my most recent mistake my family is going to be killed. at this point im just sick of it i’ve been here for months im miserable im lonely, i miss my family im just kinda, unstable

really unstable

im shouting at her if shes going to off my family she has to kill me too cause i cant live knowing theyre dead because of me or live without them, just sobbing, kill me, please just kill me i cant stay here anymore she sends me to my room and i pass by my beetle friend but neither of us says anything, also passed by some buff monster but its irrelevant. i dont go to my room instead im just looking through hallway after hallway, opening a storage closet and just trying to find SOMETHING to work with because yeah im miserable, yeah this is probably going to backfire but you do NOT. FUCK. WITH MY FAMILY! so i have to leave. i dont care if this might kill me i have to get out of there with whatever the hell i can find. what i find is two deflated balloons with little plastic bits inside that when u press a button they light up and im like OKAY maybe i, maybe me and beetle man can use this to signal to each other! thats great i can do this i can. i think i may have been crying and laughing here after my exploring Im hiding behind a sofa in a room in the furthest corner of the house cradling my little weird balloon bundle, just trying to find space to think. im safe because u cant see me from the door and the blinds on the window are drawn already. it feels like i havent seen the outside in a while remember how i said i was really unstable? this felt completely real in the dream so maybe it was real due to dream logic, but it feels like desperation in hindsight. i clicked both of the balloon lights on and realized i could use it as a phone! i need to call mom i miss her so much. so i do and she goes honey where are you? and im just crying and saying i love you, i love you so much im okay mom, its okay, and shes like are you at school??? and i just turn into a mess. at this point i look through the sheer curtains on the window and notice my brother driving a really tall truck moving some construction supplies. it sucks that hes here too but im just so happy to see him even if i know i cant talk to him. maybe if they dont find out we’re related he’ll be okay and then i leave the mansion, and i run. nothing here is familiar. im somewhere in the woods. i try to run to the front and see all of the construction workers there making something, but besides all the people somehow the dirt is just, this sheer cliff up up and up in front of the place. so i run to the back and try to get through the barrier around the place. i think i do but its not exactly easy. i fought off a possessed wild boar, but it was the size you think a pig would be, so like a medium sized dog, it just tried to bite me and while it hurt i just hit it til it stayed down long enough for me to bolt after im some distance away, further into the forest on a wide path i meet a human whos instantly on guard to fight me. i spray paint in his eyes and then run on i meet a strange human on the same path and he smirks at me and puts paper in front of his eyes to stop my tactic. i go hey fuck it maybe the fumes will disorient him and spray and his magic stops the paint in mid air and im like dude that is SICK, before he flings it back at me

i dont know how but i beat him too but the next part of the dream im finally somewhere residential, houses along the water, its a warm but not too warm day, light breeze, so all in and beautiful. i feel like im seeing and breathing freely and clearly for the first time in, i dont even know how long. its bright and while i know i have to run im just going to keep running, im free for now.

i use my little balloon contraption and call up my mom again now that im somewhere im positive no one will hear me. i tell her im sorry but i cant go home, that this is likely goodbye, and i cant guarantee ill get out of this alive but it’s okay. i love you so much. and she has to leave too. i stress this. she has to leave, cut all ties, cut all things that could trace you and get out of there. 

and then my alarm woke me up

its hard to explain why some sections of this dream were so scary, just the feeling of wrongness, isolation, powerlessness, and just some distant pain that i dont know what it was. it felt like the longer i was there the more my world was ending