#HMLWIYH

[aelinschild]

ONE

Holding Me Like Water In Your Hands

Main Masterlist | HMLWIYH Masterlist

Its time for the story to begin! Welcome to chapter one of HMLWIYH. The beginning of this story might be heavy with worldbuilding, but I hope it comes together in due time. I've seen lots of fics take certain stances on characters, and I've decided to switch some of them up. Hopefully its surprising, or shocking, or moving, or somehow emotionally dynamic.

SYNOPSIS:A cross continental move forces Aelin Galathynius to open her eyes wider than before, and at the doors of Terrasen's most exclusive and expensive private high school, she realizes her life is flowing through her. And if she wants to make the most of her life, she needs to grab onto something. Or maybe someone. WORDCOUNT: 1.5k GENERAL WARNINGS: Language, Drug use, Alcohol, Allusion to sex/intimacy, Brief descriptions of sexual assault, Domestic violence, Very severe angst, Messy Divorces (More to be added)

“The house came with two master bedrooms, which is a really strange notion, but I'm sure it adds the charm of this city. Maybe it's a new trend, like the people here now like multiple master bedrooms? Who knows! It's been so long since I was last here, I really missed Orynth, my love, but you know your father…” Mom has been talking for three minutes about bedrooms, and I'm beginning to wonder if she's running out of oxygen. “-But, of course, part of the reason I decided to get this house, I mean, me and your father decided to get this house, was that it meant you would have more privacy! Isn't that just the most thoughtful idea?! Now this one will be yours…” 

She makes a grand sweeping gesture to the room down the hall from the stairs we just climbed. 

It's a large room, larger than anything I've ever had the privilege of calling my bedroom. I poke my head through the door that we stand at. There's another door, leading probably to a washroom. At the far end of the room sits a gorgeous bay window, already fitted with a cushion and throw pillows. The windows look like they can open, as well. 

Mom and I stand at the threshold of my ‘new bedroom’. Neither of us make a move to enter.

It's like we’re both held back by some force. Going into the bedroom is somehow going to tip some scale on a quantum level, and subconsciously were both aware of how we proceed forward. 

“I…” I breathe out. 

Mom sighs. 

The four-poster bed in the centre of the room is something straight out of my dreams, and to the left of the bay window sits an antique wood desk. A green glass reading lamp perched in its corner. I can imagine myself doing homework there. Or to the right of the window, bookshelves ascend to the ceiling, waiting to be filled. The wood of the shelves matches the desk, which matches the wrought iron bed, which probably matches something else in this room, and I'm suddenly out of breath. 

This room feels like it belongs to someone else like I'm stepping into someone else’s life. Which pretty accurately sums up what's happening at this moment. 

“Mom.” I turn to look at her, finding her blue-gold eyes already on me. They look pained. “Why?”

“Why what, my love?” 

The air that left me rushes back in at full force. I feel the weight of our seven-hour journey wrapping around me like a boa constrictor. 

“‘Why what?’ Mom! Why are we here? Why are we in Orynth! Why are we here without Dad?!” My arms flail wildly, attempting to emphasize the conflicting emotions I feel beginning to rise in me. 

Her pained expression morphs to one of steel, the same look I've been getting from both my parents for the last few months. 

“Aelin, my love, there are things that your father and I cannot control, and job opportunities are one of them. I told you that this move was necessary, and I don't need your ceaseless questioning about this” She says. She straightens, gearing up for a fight. “Your father will be moving here with us shortly, now get settled, I have things that I need to tend to.” And with that, she turns and walks down the hall, down the stairs, and back into the bubble she has lived in for months, while I stand still, waiting for someone to pop it, and wake me back up. 

-

It's dark out by the time I've finished putting my things away. Through my ensuite bathroom, there's a full walk-in closet. And maybe if I didn't feel so lifeless, I would have been over the moon excited about all the new real estate for my clothes. 

After Mom’s ghost, as I have now dubbed her, ran away from my questions, I stepped through the door and into my new bedroom. Prior to us leaving Ardalan, I had been packing up my things for a week. My life was carefully folded or wrapped up and tucked away into cardboard boxes before being dutifully shoved into Moms Audi. Ghost mom’s Audi. 

I could lie and say it came as a shock when Mom stormed into our townhouse back in Rifthold, Dad hot on her heels, both shouting their heads off when she told me we were going back to Orynth. I was in the middle of a novel when that happened. Mom looked drained, like the life was sucked out of her, Dad was furious. And when I replay that moment in my head, my brain smoothes over the fact that his finely pressed suit was disheveled, and the red blotch on his collar was the farthest shade from anything I've seen my mother wear. 

The week following passed in a blur. 

I hardly saw the two in the same room, and evenings were no longer punctuated with slamming doors, or screaming in the luxury kitchen of the townhouse. Rather, it was silent. Which was more alarming than anything else. 

It was summer break, and so I really had nowhere else to be but the townhouse. I had graduated from my elementary years at school, and was spending the summer reading. But all the books in the world couldn't distract me from the suffocating feeling of that stupid townhouse. 

It almost makes me regret not taking a summer class to fill the void. 

My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I haven't eaten since the gas station pringles. Which were godawful. I roll over to face my clock, a brass analog piece that Dad gifted me years ago. Quarter to ten. I can hear Ghost mom banging around in the kitchen, maybe cooking, maybe smashing all of our kitchenware. I imagine that would feel cathartic. Rather than sulking over something I'm not quite sure of. 

I can't confirm that Dad was cheating on Mom. 

Which isn't something I ever thought I’d have to speculate about, but here I am. Wondering if the grand move across the continent was about another woman. My body curls up tighter under the covers. The silk pillow beneath my head lets the droplets of moisture roll right off. The tears come fast. I don't know why I'm sad. My parents have never been overly affectionate to each other. Maybe in the early days, before their careers took off, and they had a child. Or maybe never. And so this deep sadness feels unreasonable. Sure, I might have been dragged across the entire continent because my Dad was fucking another woman, and that was the final straw for my Mother. Not the years of verbal abuse or anything like that. 

A knock sounds at my door. 

I jump up, harshly wiping the tears off my face, and when the handle is tried the door doesn't open. A plus to my new master bedroom. 

“Aelin.” My mother warns. 

“What,” I croak out. Throat tight from the crying. 

I can hear her sigh through the door. 

“I was going to order takeout since we haven't had the time to go shopping. What would you like?” She asks, voice muffled by the locked door. 

I move to the edge of the bed, putting on my slippers. “Nothing,” I say. 

“That’s not on the menu, my love.” 

“I don't want anything, okay?”

“Aelin.”

“Mom.”

The sigh is louder this time, like the fight left her. 

“Im going to shower and go to bed. Goodnight.” I say, as I walk to my new ensuite washroom, and shut and lock that door too for good measure. 

-

The shower was hot, and I draw out my routine. Taking time to smooth my expensive lotion into my skin. Beginning my extensive skincare routine. Maybe a seaweed facemask as well. The vast majority of my toiletries are luxury items, bought by Daddy dearest after a night filled with drunken yelling and shattered crystal glasses. 

Rhoe Galathynius is a larger-than-life corporate lawyer with a raging drinking problem and an affinity for blowing money. 

And so when he fucks up, like telling his fourteen-year-old daughter that she’s a slut for spending an afternoon at the bakery comparing notes with her boy-best friend, he apologizes with a gift. 

Dorian was thoroughly entertained by the flashy three-hundred-dollar creams and gels. If only he knew why these ‘gifts’ manifested. 

Peeling the seaweed mask off my face and tossing it into the little trash can, I smooth the serum into my skin and reach for my moisturizer. 

I avoid the mirror when I can. Especially in moments like this when stress breakouts permeate my usually clear skin. But, unfortunately, I need a mirror for the eye cream I smooth onto the disproportionately large bags. It's comical almost, how much Evalin Galathynius’ fourteen-year-old daughter looks like her. An apparition. Slowly withering away under the hand of Rhoe Galathynius. 

I finish with my routine and turn the bathroom light off. 

I'm dressed in a cotton dressing gown, and I feel like the loose fabric is suffocating me. I slide into my new bed, pull the covers up to my ears, and flick the gold lamp off. The bay window lights my room with a perfect view of the moon, and I can't help but wish I was anywhere else. 

[aelinschild]

FOUR

Holding Me Like Water In Your Hands

Main Masterlist | HMLWIYH Masterlist

teheheh

SYNOPSIS:A cross continental move forces Aelin Galathynius to open her eyes wider than before, and at the doors of Terrasen's most exclusive and expensive private high school, she realizes her life is flowing through her. And if she wants to make the most of her life, she needs to grab onto something. Or maybe someone. WORDCOUNT: 2k GENERAL WARNINGS: Language, Drug use, Alcohol, Allusion to sex/intimacy, Brief descriptions of sexual assault, Domestic violence, Very severe angst, Messy Divorces (More to be added)

The rest of the weekend had come and gone. Mostly filled with Mom and I smoothing over the cracks in our new lifestyle. Additional furniture and appliances were acquired. A brilliant, albeit expensive, coffee machine was the best feature of our home now. It made incredible espresso, which had been fueling my moping. 

Tonight, Evalin decided we would come together and cook a meal. We decided on grilled salmon with patotoes and asparagus. Simple enough, while also fitting whatever diet my mother had recently taken up. 

I was currently plating our meal as she grabbed the salmon off the pan. 

Soft footsteps made their way into the dining room, and my mother followed, setting the plate in the centre of the table. 

We both pulled out chairs out and sat. Her posture was straight and rigid. Always the perfectionist. 

I sat with one leg dangling, the other curled up into me. A posture my father absolutely loathed. 

"Well, I'd say we are quite the chefs." My mother remarked, piling delicate amounts of food onto her plate. 

"Not bad," I laugh. "For us. Better than yesterday for sure," I say, following her and scooping a helping of each into my own plate. 

Yesterday we had burnt the chicken thighs we had bought, then promptly ordered a gluten free, veggie filled pizza. 

"I'm not used to a gas stovetop. But, that simply means a new skill, hm?" She says, between bites of food. Never speaking with her mouth open. 

"Sure, Mom." 

She regards me, and then her gaze flits back to her plate. I continue eating. The only noise in the room is that of our breathing and the scrapes of our cutlery on the new plates. 

Dinners together in my family were rare. With Mom and Dad both spending evenings working overtime, I ate alone almost every night. It made me into quite the skilled chef, but left me feeling empty. Dinners alone, in our big kitchen, only accompanied by the noises of the outside world. I would often sit at the island in our luxurious marble kitchen, perched as I am now, and pretend my parents were there, engaging with me. 

Some evenings Phillipa was there, and would keep me company, but as the sole gaurdians to Dorian, and his younger brother Hollin, those evenings were few and far between. She worked as an in house maid, and mostly cleaned during the day when the boys would be at school. Sometimes cooking and leaving me meals with cute sticky notes attached. 

Those days were far behind. 

My mother's fork scraped her plate. "So," she started. "You start highschool tomorrow, how do you feel?" 

Awful. I have no friends. "Fine" I say. 

"You have a cousin here," and her face is a little pale as she says it. Her eyes scan my own. Searching for whatever feeling she assumes will follow. 

I just scoff. 

The nonchalant way she tosses that out chafes against me. My image of my family has always been just my parents and I. The idea of a cousin on top of the move, on top of Mom and Dad’s issues. Its as if the tide is rising, and I have no sense of direction, no way to swim up because I no longer know where that is. 

Tossing down my cutlery, I shift to move my other knee up so I can wrap my arms around my body, creating a safe little shell.

"And how old is this cousin?" My eyes stare directly into her, not backing down. 

"Your age. Maybe a few months older."

"Why am I just now learning about their existence?" 

She looks pained. I feel like that's an expression I've seen so often on her face recently. So different from the Evalin Galathynius that imposed through the courts of Rifthold. 

She moves closer to the table so she can drop her head into her hands. She just shakes her head, and I sit across from her wondering how the fuck we ended up in this situation. 

As an only child, I've never wished for any other siblings. Seeing how Hollin and Dorian interacted made me glad of that. But a cousin? A possibility of an aunt or uncle? There being more to my family than just Rhoe, Evalin and Aelin? That's what seems nonsensical. 

"Your father and I left Orynth not long after your birth for our own reasons, and yes, that separated you and Aedion," she takes a deep breath. "But it was not without extreme thought, and we realized it would be better… this way." 

"Better for me? Or better for Dads job?" I bite out. 

"For everyone Aelin," 

"Mmkay " 

"What do you think about this? About Aedion?" She probes. 

"Never met him. How would I know."

"He's attending Orynth Rise. You'll probably see him there." 

"And what do I do? Walk up to some mysterious stranger and say, "Oh hi there! I'm your cousin you've probably never heard of or even know!"" 

"He knows about you." She smiles sheepily. 

I just stare at her. 

A cousin. That apparently knows about meet, whom I've never met, or heard about. 

"Is this why we moved to Orynth?" I ask quietly. 

"A part of it," she nods then continues to eat. 

I want to pull my hair out. 

"For fucks sake mom! Give me a straight answer!" I bark out, no longer composed. 

Her face snaps up, and her mouth is open in a shocked expression. "Aelin Galathynius! Do not curse at me! Good Gods!" 

I roll my eyes, and drop my legs back down to the floor. Pushing out of my chair, my meal only halfway eaten, I grab my plate and storm off to the kitchen. 

Maybe I'm overreacting, but after moving across the continent, and not really adjusting to the fact that my entire life is now somehow different, plus the fact I have extended family, is really overdoing it for me currently. 

I scrape the food left on my plate into the little compost bin, and move to put my plate in the sink. I can hear my mother stomping over to the kitchen. 

"Aelin!" She yells. 

I ignore her. 

She moves towards me and grabs the plate from my hands. And I stare up at her, forcing calm. 

"Why are you acting this way!" She yells, looking far angrier than she was moments ago. "Look, love, I understand this is a big change, but you've been moping and overreacting to everything!" She's put the plate down and her arms come to rest on my shoulders, I shake her off. 

Her face falls. 

"Aelin," her voice is soft, like trying to tame a wild animal. And I guess I'm the wild animal right now, dramatically scurrying away from anything that scares me. 

I'm trapped here, between Mom and the door from the kitchen, and paralyzed by the change in my life, far too swift for anyone to keep afloat in. 

I clench my jaw and shove my fear and anger and confusion down, down as far as it can go. 

Through clenched teeth, I bite out, "I don't know how you want me to react." Surprising myself with how calmly in responding, I continue. "I don't understand why we're in Orynth. I don't understand why we had to leave Rifthold. I don't understand why Dad's not here with us. I don't understand this place. And I don't understand why you think I'm okay with all of this." I finish. Taking a deep breath, I school the emotion off my face. 

Mom blinks. 

I stand still, breathing slightly uneven. 

"Aelin…" she trails off, eyes moving to the ceiling. 

"We're going in circles Mom, around and around over the same thing." I clench my fists at my side and take a deep breath. "Just be fucking honest for once." 

Her eyes snap right back to me the moment I say 'fucking' and I can see her about to snap at me again, but stops when she sees the expression on my face. 

"Your Dad and I have been having issues. I felt as thought it was not fair for you to be in a house where your parents were always fighting." She responds. Her eyes move quickly over my face, and she stands straighter. 

I suppose I should take this as some sort of win. Getting Evalin to admit to any of her faults, especially in the realm of her shitty husband, is a hard won feat. But the admittance is something hard to swallow as well. 

Having loving parents is nothing I grew up around, and the only friend I truly grew close to in my childhood was Dorian, and his parents both died early in his life, not long after his brother was born. But Phillipa was the most adoring parent one could truly ask for. Though she was never around long enough to be a mother figure. 

But to actually hear your parent admit a struggle - that makes me feel a way I can't describe. 

"Okay." I say. 

Evalin just nods. Her arms come up around herself, and her eyes get misty. 

"Aelin, I want the best for you. And being in that house wasn't the best for any of us," She whispers. 

"Okay " I say again, processing. 

"Can… can I hug you?"

I feel funny, and I don't really want to hug Mom right now, but she looks seconds away from crumbling into jagged pieces that will never fit back together. So I nod and pull her into a light hug. 

She holds onto me for dear life, and I hear a sniffle, before she's pulling away and wiping her eyes. 

"I'm sorry," 

"It's okay," I repeat, like a broken record. 

"I'm gonna clear up dinner, and you can, uh, go get r-ready for school tomorrow." She squeezes her eyes shut as a few more tears fall. 

And I don't know how to handle this situation, so I just walk away. 

-

In my room later that night, I'm sitting at the bay window going over the catastrophe that was dinner this evening. I've washed my face, and I'm in a silk nightgown. My fingers skim the hemline, and my thoughts race. 

Mom admitted she and Dad were having problems, so the lipstick on Dad's collar probably wasn't hers. Still unconfirmed, but I'm certainly closer to that truth. 

But a move across the continent because they were having issues? Completely uprooting me and my future education, in favour of Orynths shiny promises? 

They must have really been fighting this time. 

I've recieved no messages from my Dad in the few days we've been here, and I wonder if he's forgotten his wife and offspring. 

The street outside my window is quiet. The boys down the street aren't out. And the wind flows gently, winding through avenues, luring the inhabitants to sleep. 

Tomorrow marks my first day in highschool. Freshman year. In a completely different country. Oh, and with a cousin! I can't help but smile a little at that. How shocking that Rhoe and Evalin keep my cousin from me. 

I can't help but wonder what he's like. I never knew that my parents had siblings, so what he might look like is a mystery. My fathers light complexion and dark hair, or my mothers darker complexion and gold-spun hair. I imagine a boy similar to me. It seems more reasonable that Evalin would have siblings rather than Rhoe. He was never much of the family type. 

I wonder what he’s interested in. I wonder about his life here. I wonder about this new extension of my family and what I've missed not knowing they existed. I wonder about my aunt and uncle. Maybe theres more? 

I guess Ill find out tomorrow. 

My backpack is packed, filled with a few notebooks and journals. Pencils and pens. My laptop and other school necessities. 

I'm not overly excited to start school again, nonetheless in Orynth, where most of these kids probably have known each other since early childhood. 

A light rain starts, it's soothing noise lulls me to sleep at the window. And I dream of unconditional love.

[aelinschild]

PROLOGUE

Holding Me Like Water In Your Hands

Main Masterlist | HMLWIYH Masterlist

Hello and welcome to my first-ever fic! My idea for this is extensive and full of feels, featuring all the best ToG characters (AKA all of them) but mainly centering on Rowaelin. I really have no idea what I'm doing, but I have ideas, and I want to bring them to life, so yeah!

SYNOPSIS:A cross continental move forces Aelin Galathynius to open her eyes wider than before, and at the doors of Terrasen's most exclusive and expensive private high school, she realizes her life is flowing through her. And if she wants to make the most of her life, she needs to grab onto something. Or maybe someone. WORDCOUNT: 421 GENERAL WARNINGS: Language, Drug use, Alcohol, Allusion to sex/intimacy, Brief descriptions of sexual assault, Domestic violence, Very severe angst, Messy Divorces (More to be added)

The Audi glided into the gas station, rolling to a stop at the pump. 

“You have five minutes, Linny, and don't forget my pringles!” Evalin Galathynius trilled, before sliding out of the car and towards the pump. 

I rolled out my shoulders and stretched my legs in the limited space of the SUV. Google Maps was recalculating after our stop, alerting me that I only had two more hours of my mother's anxious ramblings before we would arrive at the Galathynius’ newest purchase. 

A house. 

Back in Terrasen. 

Orynth to be specific. 

My mother and I had set out at nine this morning to begin our journey to Orynth, northward of Rifthold, and my entire life. Dad wasn't even home this morning when we left. 

I prop open the door and step out of the Audi. I can smell the cigarette smoke from the other side of the car where my mother is filling the tank. Its smell is a constant reminder of the current state of my life. Swallowing my comment about the safety of fire-bearing items and gasoline, I secure my slippers to my feet and wander over to the convenience store attached to the gas pumps. 

The bell dings when I walk through the door, and I beeline for the washroom before I begin my stockpiling of snacks. The floors are sticky, and I can’t help but sigh at what will become of my slippers after this journey. When I make it to the obviously neglected washroom, I quickly shut and lock the door before I turn to the mirror. 

The girl that stands in the reflection looks hollow. 

Her golden blonde hair that reaches her elbows doesn't shine anymore, it simply hangs limp, void of the beautiful soft curls that once elevated it. The bags beneath her eyes are sunken, darker even than they were last week. There’s a breakout on her forehead that rose to the surface of her once sunkissed skin. And her eyes, those she can barely look at. The blue is dull, and the golden circle that kiss her pupil are barely visible anymore. 

That girl is me, Aelin. 

And after driving for the last five hours, I feel like shit and my bladder is on the verge of explosion from the four black coffees I've put down. 

I let out a defeated snort, one that slowly merges into maniacal laughter. The girl in the mirror laughs with me, but there's no joy in this bathroom. 

There’s no joy in the girl either. 

[aelinschild]

TWO - ROWAN

Holding Me Like Water In Your Hands

Main Masterlist | HMLWIYH Masterlist

And its time for chapter two! I'm in the process of creating a masterlist and mood boards along for this series, so look out for that! Anyways, please enjoy, and feel free to let me know your thoughts! :)

SYNOPSIS:A cross continental move forces Aelin Galathynius to open her eyes wider than before, and at the doors of Terrasen's most exclusive and expensive private high school, she realizes her life is flowing through her. And if she wants to make the most of her life, she needs to grab onto something. Or maybe someone. WORDCOUNT: 1.3k GENERAL WARNINGS: Language, Drug use, Alcohol, Allusion to sex/intimacy, Brief descriptions of sexual assault, Domestic violence, Very severe angst, Messy Divorces (More to be added)

The air is hot, and beads of sweat roll down my back. My ratty t-shirt does little to hide the sweat, and the working overalls only add another layer to this heavy Orynth heat. 

Terrasen’s weather is well known for being difficult. Freezing winters and withering summers, dramatic rainstorms, or weeks of fog. All part of the routine. I roll out from underneath the car I'm working on. Three out of the four garage doors are propped open, and the AC is coughing up air, it's not cold, but at least it keeps the air moving.

I wipe my grease-stained hands onto my overalls and reach for the filter I need. After I switch this out, then refill the oil, ill be done for the day, and I can hear the creek behind my house beckoning me. 

I work in the Elia, one of Orynth’s more reliable garages. And technically my labour is illegal, but being good friends with the Ashryvers comes with perks. Like a job. And I’m the lucky one, because Aedion doesn't even get paid. Gavriel took pity on me years ago, and I've been working here since, trying to cushion my pockets a little more. 

The office doors bangs open, disturbing the fragile silence of the room.“Yo,” the devil himself shouts from the other side of the garage. “Dad says you’re good to go if you want. Just stop by the office. He got your moneyyy.” Aedion shouts, humour lining his tone.

It's a running joke, I get paid under the table until I'm sixteen, and Aedion gets nothing. He likes to pretend he’ll tell some sort of authority on me, but Gavriel shuts that down pretty fast. 

I snort and roll back under the car. I can hear him banging around somewhere. I move through the motions quickly, tasks like this have become second nature to me at this point. 

I was eleven when Gavriel recruited me to his small team of mechanics. Aedion and I constantly were getting into scraps at primary school, and my adopted parents and Gavriel thought a job might help me ease my overactive mind and raging hormones. The past few years have been mostly instruction and learning. Small projects and being the glorified maid for the older guys, but I'm beyond grateful for Gav’s direction. 

My family and I aren't rolling in money, and it pained me when I would hear them up at night pouring over overdue bills, attempting to budget and still support Oliver, my adopter father’s medical bills. There was nothing I could do as an eleven-year-old boy, but now I'm fourteen and I make ten dollars an hour. Which magically make their way into Myra, my adopted mother’s, pockets each Sunday. 

I fill the oil, and toss the empty bottles into the trash. Dragging a cloth from my overalls across my forehead, I close the hood of the car with one hand and begin to clean up my station. I may not be as good as the older guys, but I'm meticulous about cleaning. Gavriel approves, Aedion calls me anal. I walk my things over to the tool bench and put them away. Elia Ashryver stares at me from her perch on the wall. The photo of her, in the signature Elia red overalls, tattoos lining her arms, and elbow-deep in grease, shines from its spot. 

Gavriel and Elia Ashryver started this garage decades ago, but it was Elia who roped Gav into it. She was a wild child. The black sheep of her family. Apparently, she was decorated in ink before Gav had even met her in mechanical school. She was top of her class, knowing how to repair anything with an unnatural efficiency. Machines were second nature to her. And Gavriel fell head over heels in love with the cunning woman and post-graduation, the two were hitched and opening their own garage together. Elia’s expertise was the best in Orynth. And their business bloomed. Soon she was pregnant, and the asshole I call my friend was born. 

I've heard the story recited over and over from Gav, who revers his wife, but the end of her story was harder to get out of him. Elia struggled after Aedion’s birth. Her Post-Partum Depression lasted longer than the doctor said it might, and she became a different person. She struggled to bring herself out of bed, be with her child, or work with the machines she once loved. And Gav was so caught up in running a business and caring for his son, that he missed the warning signs. Elia Ashryver ended up overdosing not eight months after Aedion was born. 

Her picture never collects dust.

I shut the drawers, and make my way to the office, the red overalls I wear drag slightly on the ground around the heels of my work boots. I'll grow into them eventually. I see Aedions boots underneath a Ford Raptor, which is unsurprisingly back for the fourth time in six weeks. 

“Turn on the radio on your way out!” He shouts.

“Kay,” I flick the dial and the room fills with the familiar static of the ancient radio, landing on a more common channel playing the ‘top hits’. I recognize the new song from The Archeron Sisters.  

Aedions shitty singing fills the room, and I hastily make my way to Gav’s office before I permanently lose my hearing. I rap my knuckles on the frosted door. 

“Come in,” The voice inside shouts. 

I push the door open, and I'm hit with the heat of the room. “Gods Gav, this place is like a sauna,” I say as I trudge over to the shelf that holds my cash.  

He laughs and runs his hands through his shoulder-length hair. “I heard it's good for the skin, keeps me young, or something.” I laugh and turn to face him after I've slipped the cash into my back pocket. 

Gavriel’s a handsome man for all the weight he carries. One might think you'd find the lines of his grief over his face, but it's fitted with wrinkles from all the smiling he does. Somehow, Elia’s death doesn't really haunt him, or this garage. How he does it, ill never know. 

He leans back and appraises me. 

“You look taller than the last time I saw you,” He muses.

“Taller than yesterday?” I smile.

“Maybe a foot of height?”

“Sure Gav” 

“Bigger too, been lifting?”

I roll my eyes. “Nope.”

“You gonna join the rugby team? Aedion’s been crawling up the walls with excitement to start.” He shifts forward, tawny eyes boring into me. 

I shift in place, uncomfortable. “I’ll see.”

“You’re nervous to go to ORHS, arent you?” He states. 

“I'm not nervous.” I scoff. 

We stare at each other. And I wait for him to call me out on my bullshit. Sometimes I think Gavriel knows me better than I know myself. He just hums and nods. 

“CUSTOMER!” Aedion bellows from the garage. 

Gav rises from the worn leather chair. “Go home kid. I'll see you next week.” He says as he passes by me and wanders out of the office. 

I sigh, and turn to the other door that leads to the break room and staff parking lot just outside. Swiping a stale donut off the countertop, I trudge over to my pickup truck that's days away from being impounded into some dinosaur museum. Stuffing my face, I hop in and drive home.

[aelinschild]

Holding Me Like Water In Your Hands: Masterlist

Main Masterlist | Drabbles | Headcannons

SYNOPSIS: A cross continental move forces Aelin Galathynius to open her eyes wider than before, and at the doors of Terrasen's most exclusive and expensive private high school, she realizes her life is flowing through her. And if she wants to make the most of her life, she needs to grab onto something. Or maybe someone. CURRENT WORDCOUNT: 7.1k GENERAL WARNINGS: Language, Drug use, Alcohol, Allusion to sex/intimacy, Brief descriptions of sexual assault, Domestic violence, Very severe angst, Messy Divorces (More to be added)

Table of Contents:

PROLOGUE ONE TWO - Rowan THREE FOUR

Extras:

Aelin's Moodboard

Rowan's Moodboard

teheheeh

[aelinschild]

THREE

Holding Me Like Water In Your Hands

Main Masterlist | HMLWIYH Masterlist

And I'm back with chapter three! Apologies for the long absence, I was away without my computer, and when I got back I got very sick. But I'm pushing through. Any who, enjoy, and please let me know what you think! I really appreciate feedback.

SYNOPSIS:A cross continental move forces Aelin Galathynius to open her eyes wider than before, and at the doors of Terrasen's most exclusive and expensive private high school, she realizes her life is flowing through her. And if she wants to make the most of her life, she needs to grab onto something. Or maybe someone. WORDCOUNT: 1.8K GENERAL WARNINGS: Language, Drug use, Alcohol, Allusion to sex/intimacy, Brief descriptions of sexual assault, Domestic violence, Very severe angst, Messy Divorces (More to be added)

The sun woke me up. Lazily climbing up in the sky, beckoning me to get something done on my last free weekend before high school would begin. 

On the drive up from Rifthold, Mom spent at least twenty minutes going over every detail of my newest ‘adventure’. 

Orynth Rise High School.

An extensive campus harboring some of Orynths brightest, and most wealthy, students. Large enough to be a university campus, with buildings stretching all over the acres of land situated right on the outskirts of the city. Apparently, the school has frequent renovations to update the already luxurious conditions. Spacious classrooms, lounge areas designated for different years, and all the newest tech. 

What really piqued my interest was the Orynth Grand Library, also on campus. 

Shortly after I woke, Mom appeared at my door with a peace offering. Black coffee. The tension between us was palpable, and in true Galathynius fashion, rather than facing that, she presented me with what looked like a body bag and a thick, but sturdy book. She instructed me that I should get started on the book, and familiarize myself with the suspicious body bag, before she walked away, again. 

I've curled myself up in the chair at my antique desk, and I flip through the hundreds of pages of Orynth Rise High School’s Code Of Conduct. I flip back to the uniform section - pages 34 to 57 - and read through the bulleted lists of do’s and don’ts. 

“...under no circumstance should a student ever find themselves in anything but the accepted ORHS uniform… should weather hinder standard protocol… leisure days are prohibited and behaviour that disobeys dress code will be…”

“How fun,” I murmur, still flipping through pages of dress code regulations. There are entire pages dedicated to washing instruction. 

My eyes drift over to where said uniforms are laid out on my bed. I've been provided with two dark green blazers, lined with gold stitching and gold buttons, and emblazoned with a sweeping arc of fire, soaring hawk, and ORHS stitching over the left breast. There are two black skirts, a pair of black pressed trousers, and a black uniform dress. Plus three starched, collared white shirts. And according to the ‘Code Of Conduct’ handbook, I'll need some sort of black-heeled or flat shoe. 

My gaze sweeps over the clothes. It really could be worse. The greens not terrible, and the gold is certainly unique. The hawk is definitely something, but I'm picking different battles. 

Riftholds Private Elementary School had basic uniforms, so this isn't a foreign notion, but younger me thought high school meant more freedom, like the freedom to wear jeans or something along those lines. 

The ticking of my brass clock punctuates the silence of my room, and I can hear the front door of the house open, then close. I shift off the desk chair and move to the bay window, where I have a clear view of Evalin Galathynius speed-walking towards the Audi parked in our driveway to the three-car garage. Her phone is between her shoulder and ear as she gets into the car, then promptly reverses and speeds off. 

And suddenly the day is feeling a lot more optimistic. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I see two teenage-looking boys tossing around a basketball. They're out playing on the driveway of the house across the street two doors down. There's a blond and a brunette, with identical deep skin tones. They toss the ball back and forth, run circles around each other, or simply push each other over. I crack a smile when the blond tosses the ball directly at the brunette's head and it bounces off, nearly going into the net. 

Both boys look like they're around my age, and I wonder if they attend ORHS. I continue to watch them until my staring borders on stalking, and I make my move to freshen up before I explore this new house. 

-

I was born in Orynth. My Dad’s family was from here. But Rhoe and Evalin packed up and skipped town when I was three, and so I was whisked away from full evergreen trees and fresh mountain air to compact townhouses and to the heavy heat of a packed city. 

Why we moved away, I never really understood. But I also didn't know that I wasn't Ardalanian until I was nine. So while the wind coming through the window I cracked open in the kitchen smells like home, and settles onto me in a way I've never felt, I can't help but feel anxious with the lack of noise. Rifthold was loud, the city never slept. And living practically in the business center of the city meant that honking taxis and frustrated drivers were the constant background noise. 

Orynth is quiet. The mountains I can see from said kitchen window give me the impression of a sleeping giant. And capped in snow, I feel exceptionally out of my element. 

From scrounging around in the new kitchen, I find crackers and some licorice I bought at the gas station. A truly balanced breakfast. The dry crackers stick to the roof of my mouth, and the licorice tastes like plastic. I couldn't find plates, so my glorious meal is spread out on the butcher block countertop. 

The kitchen is nice, similar to the rest of the house. A navy blue theme carries throughout, decorating the large sectional couch, cabinets, and various pieces of unremarkable art. 

I feel like a weird stain upon this picture-perfect house, and to distract myself from the panic that's slowly creeping in, I pull my fancy phone out. Another Rhoe apology gift, the newest model I believe. 

I have fourteen unread messages from Dorian, some emails about promotional things I will never read, and a missed call from an unknown number. My phone tells me it's spam. 

>For the love of gods, answer your fucking phone

Dorian can be aggressively loving. 

<Yes?

>Finally

> I've been waiting for hours

>You have no idea the torture it has been

<You’re going to have to work on your separation issues riri

The typing bubble appears and disappears three times before I get a response. 

>Why did you leave linny?

I sigh, Isn't that the most popular question. I don't have an answer for my best friend because I don't even have an answer for myself. 

<Mom got a new job, i guess

And with that, I turn my phone off.

Lying to Dorian pains me. And he knows I'm full of shit, he can read me better than the books he practical consumes. But telling him that I have a suspicion that Dad’s cheating and Mom’s losing her mind probably is not the right way to go. 

After I choke down my meal, I rap my knuckles on the counter, bored. I push the barstool out and begin the trek to the front door, where I turn back around and face the house anew. Time for a tour. 

-

My new home is probably the exact same as three other houses on the block, and I take my time observing everything. From the front door, you emerge into the cozy living room. With the aforementioned navy blue sectional facing the limescaled brick fireplace. A powder room is to the right, and down the hall, you make it into the kitchen. The matte black light fixtures fall down from the high ceilings, where the staircase wraps around the opposite end of the room. To the right, is what I assume to be Mom's master bedroom, and to the left is the dining room. Which leads into a full glass wall with a wonderful view of the fences that surround the backyard. 

My hand glides along the staircase railing, and when I reach the landing, rather than going to the right, back towards my bedroom, I turn left. Three rooms line this side of the house, and when I open the first door I’m met with a study. The far wall is windows, and a large desk sits in the middle of the room. I spot some of the boxes from the Audi in the corner of the room. So this will be Mom’s study. The next door is another washroom. Which makes four in this house already, if both my and my mother’s rooms have ensuites. 

When my hand reaches the handle of the final door, it doesn't move. I jiggle it around, maybe it's stuck? The door doesn't budge. 

More secrets. 

Just then I heard the front door open and my mother's heels on the hardwood floors. 

“Aelin! You better be up!” She calls out. 

I mentally groan, there goes my day. 

-

Where Mom disappeared remains a mystery, but she returned with an overflowing need to go grocery shopping. 

Currently I am commandeering the shopping cart while she browses the organic cereals in the aisle. She's been perusing the brightly coloured boxes for a few minutes now, and I'm picking at my nails. I've peeled off a few layers surrounding, and the nail is bitten down. A symptom of my recent anxieties. 

"Aelin, love, do you want the strawberry granola or the blueberry? Both have all the macronutrients you need to be eating…" she trailed off. 

"Strawberry," I answer. 

She nodded and grabbed two boxes, setting them into the cart alongside our multitude of organic produce and lean meats. 

She grabbed the list out of the back pocket of her sleek trousers and scanned the remaining groceries needed. When she trotted off, I follow her. 

I was certainly not a picture of grace in this moment, body slumped over the handle of the cart, practically dragging my feet. And I felt slightly out of place here too. The grocery store we are in was one of the largest in the city, and the primary one as well. The people here looked different from those from rifthold. Hardened. Like the mountain air cooled their urgency, and they were living more for the moment. 

Which was a shocking comparison to the people of Rifthold, whose urgency permeated their very cores, and oozed out over everyone else. You couldn't walk down the streets in Rifthold without careening into someone rushing somewhere else. 

As we made our way over to the nutmilks, I snagged a bag of chocolates off the shelf. 

A teenage boy in red coveralls is browsing the dairy milks beside us. 

He's pretty, with blonde hair so light it looks silver. Tall too, and lanky. I stare at him while mom opens the door to grab vanilla almond milk. She catches my eye when she turns around to place the milk in the cart. Looking in the same direction as me, we both briefly watch as the boy places his carton of milk in a basket and backs away. 

She looks back at me, and I see a smile when she realises I was staring. 

"Don't start," I say, rolling my eyes. 

Her little smile doesn't fall, and when we turn to go, piercing green eyes catch my own, and the boy smiles at me too. 

[aelinschild]

HMLWIYH - Aelin's Moodboard

Miss AAG and her lovely moodboard. I spilt my cola all over my computer while making this, so consider it an act of love.

{ this is me trying - Taylor Swift }

[aelinschild]

Update - HMLWIYH

Hello everyone! I just wanted to make a post that my fic is going to be on hold for about 2 weeks. Unfortunately my computer killed itself and I cannot post the chapters, or Rowan's moodboard at the moment.

Im very sorry about that, but if you are liking the fic so far, please let me know! Your interaction is extremely appreciated!!!

[aelinschild]

HMLWIYH - Rowan's Moodboard

Rowan Whitethorns Moodboard - HMLWIYH

{ You're Losing Me - Taylor Swift }

[aelinschild]

Hi! So I've received a lot of interaction in the last like two hours lmao. I went out for dinner and came back and I was shocked, but thank you guys so much nonetheless!!! Any who, I was asked about a tag list, and I dont currently have one, but if that's something you are interested in being on, then please let me know, cause I can definitely start one!

Also, if you see some changes happening my around my masterlist and HMLWIYH... no you didn't. ;)