Tumgik
#HOME IS WHEREVER IM WITH YOU
luvstruckmutt · 3 months
Text
sam and me are literally in love in every universe, by the way. i love him and will always find him, if you even care.
2 notes · View notes
freebooter4ever · 8 months
Text
2 notes · View notes
flamboyant-king · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.
I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.
I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.
So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?
#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks#i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me#but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world#tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of#but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets#this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me#i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items#i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em#its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there#the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students#mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression#in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me#no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings#if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask#but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself#and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words#mr octopus#mental health#doodles
36 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 2 months
Text
🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
13 notes · View notes
isa-ah · 2 days
Text
gunna be real my mother in law crossed some lines today that i dont even know how to come back from. how do i make 10k in the next 6 months to pack up and leave actually though.
7 notes · View notes
ohitslen · 10 months
Text
Reworking Uni! AU and how Vashwood meets :)
Vash who secretly works in a small bakery to sustain his living expenses that is about forty minutes away from his house and uni in the first shift, simply to lower the chances of bumping with anyone because he knows they would grow concerned for him (he barely sleeps and is very much obviously mentally Unwell, balancing work and uni has gotten him called out in the past).
And Wolfwood, who was looking for an extra income to help the orphanage, applying to a security job on the night shift planning to always take overtime. Said place was also forty minutes away from uni because he had the same thought process as Vash (he would hate to have anyone’s meddling ass involved in his issues bc of course they’d make questions), even if it made his commuting of Orphanage>Uni>Work>Orphanage more difficult.
Wolfwood gets accepted into the job! He is good at it, gets paid well, it wasn’t that stressful, the people who worked there didn’t ask him any questions and just minded their own business. It was awesome.
One day when he goes to buy lunch at a nearby 24/7 convenience store, someone accidentally slams the door open in his face as a greeting with full force.
As he is about to square up to beat the loving shit out of said person, he pales at the sight of an all too familiar blonde classmate. A blonde that was wearing a black apron that had the stitched logo from the bakery that was across his workplace. A blonde that was staring at his accusatory workplace badge that had his photo and name, neatly put in a lanyard hanging from his neck with round eyes. The blonde’s mouth was left hanging open as he stopped on his rambling apologies, his extended prosthetic arm reflecting the buzzing and bright led lights of the store, freezing midair as he was offering some aid for the fallen black haired man.
Both of them had a flash thought of that one conversation they had a week ago. They had asked each other: “Do you have a job?”. A question where they both answered “No”.
Their only thought as they locked eyes was “Fuck”.
32 notes · View notes
kits-ships · 25 days
Text
Tumblr media
my husband ranks my f/os.png
things i love about this:
he has watched moon knight, yet didn't recognize jake lockley or marc spector
he does NOT know who rex is. he said he just likes that picture of dt hgfsdfhh
wtf did din do to him
i love who he put in 'my wife needs help.' it's everyone i expected him to put there
i thought 🪓❄️ would be in the last category tbh
WTF DID POE DO TO HIM
6 notes · View notes
ladyimaginarium · 7 months
Text
says he's calling home, quarters on the phone asking if the weather's warm if you want, i'll go with you, wherever you go asks if i'm a mess ever since he left baby, it's louisiana i'll be sweating through this dress till you get home
6 notes · View notes
sodrippy · 5 months
Text
top tier dynamic really is guy who's like "this is my RIVAL my MORTAL NEMESIS i wont REST until ive DEFEATED him in BATTLE‼️" and guy whos like "i have never had a second thought about this man in my life."
3 notes · View notes
possiblytracker · 1 year
Text
got dragged to a pub quiz with some of my housemates buddies and was fully convinced i was not really gonna have a good time and itd probably be too loud and i wouldnt be much help etc etc etc bc my mood is still not great but i forgot im a competitive motherfucker when it comes down to it and the sheer rush of euphoria that comes from knowing a few more obscure answers that had the rest of the room hemming and hawing is gonna carry me through the next week probably
#when nobody else in the wetherspoons in rural wales knows what the capital of florida is or what you call a female swan#the big ass grin spreading across my face and sheer rush of Power listening to 2 people the next table over arguing over whether#its jacksonville or miami. you Fools. you absolute buffoons. i know more than you/j/j/j/j#i am so exhausted now and the 'yea this is Over you are enjoying urself too late' sadness is creeping back in but it was worth it#we came 3rd...... the prize was a whole pitcher of some cocktail for the group but i do not drink so i just went home to bed#a female swan is called a pen btw i knew that six month long job spouting swan facts at 8 year olds would come in handy someday#IDK i still have a lot to work through but i feel like i should make a slightly less depressing post today skdfjh;;#shoutout to my housemate for always somehow noticing when i have just not left my room in a day and coming to drag me out of it#i was so close to just not eating again (which tbf. i didnt. until like 6pm whoops)#but now i have done that AND touched grass AND socialised AND feel good abt myself a bit.. so.....#i worry a lot that people dont really. notice or care that much when im struggling/when they do that its annoying or a burden so#im very grateful to have people who care about me enough to try and pull me out of it. i hope wherever i end up after this#that i can surround myself with more people like that#man this feels pretty bittersweet to think about as well but in more of a cathartic kinda way. i guess#trying to think abt things slightly more positively so i dont turn into a festering black pit of bad vibes for the next few weeks#and my blog still inexplicably feels like the nicest place to sort through this kinda thing
7 notes · View notes
technicolorxsn · 8 months
Text
sorry. in a Rainer mood
2 notes · View notes
luvstruckmutt · 3 months
Text
sam and marlel are literally Home by edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros
1 note · View note
bones-n-bookles · 8 months
Text
Very often I will feel like Absolute Shit for whatever reason, be it depression or physical illness or anxiety or stress or whatever, and then see a raptor or corvid and things will just. Be okay again. Be bearable. It doesn't matter if it's a scrub jay or a raven or a red tailed hawk or an eagle. Just a corvid or raptor.
4 notes · View notes
plushie-lovey · 9 months
Text
Looking to order a new plushie in honor of my birthday today
#obviously the plush wont be here in time cause again my birthday is literally right now right this second#but this is a gift I wanna get myself#especially because Im sad today. its been a very mid bday#my fam took me out to lunch but my sis took part of my food cause we always trade some#but it ended up being half ofmy portion so I didn't get to eat a lot of the main course#amd other than that I've done literally everything else I do daily today#like I went to look around the nearby mall which Im at literally every day cause its close to work/is my bus stop#and then went home after an hour because I've already seen literally everything there#and now I get to sit at home on the corner of my bed on my phone. ir maybe draw on my pc#like I do every day of my life#amd Im sure some people will be like “why didn't you do smth different” couldn't because I have tp bus everywhere#amd nobody wanted to wake up or get dressed to go out until 2#then we went to eat. amd by the time we were done it was 4#so too late to travel by bus anywhere interesting cause it'd take an hour n a half/2 hours to arrive at wherever#caus by time we get there we gotta get the bus in an hour or 2 before it stops running for the day#and maybe I should just be grateful fpr a normal day and that I got to spend it with family#but my family sucks but I am appreciative#but this is a milestone birthday#idk if it's selfish t want a little more than the norm or not because of it. my mind is leaning towards yes#but anyways. plushies#idk whatIm getting yet#I want something colorful I think#I'll show pics when I choose/order#viti shoosh
2 notes · View notes
milo-is-rambling · 1 year
Text
I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god
#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn#makes drinks more tolerable#also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink#we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy#smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone#life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever#literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv#at all#life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family#dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad#uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way#that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done#a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one#else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell#you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou#have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking#about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss#you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey#Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and#your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. ​don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry
4 notes · View notes
Note
headache anon surprisingly i DONT have a headah- are you kidding me it juststarted forming this is really funny ANYWAY BEFORE I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED- but my hip does hurt immensely because i (stupidly) went on a walk in 26 degree weather whilst being fully aware that heat worsens my chronic pain..all i got out of it was a pretty picture of an iris
well as long as you got something out of it then :) yk :) chronic pain worth me thinks :)
2 notes · View notes