#HOURS while sitting outside a kfc. telling stories and laughing at jokes

[simcardiac-arrested]

i am going to give asks every day for a unskippable cutscene i think until i either forget or you no longer want them. the long rambles are very fun to read.

im glad you like my rambles man it’s fun to just spew thoughts!! but anyway since i already mentioned chess in some earlier asks i might as well ramble about it. it is THEE game of all time to me. like … i don’t know. it’s SOOO good they made a game that is actually perfect. i might be saying that because i’m biased and it’s like the game of my childhood cuz i’ve played it since i was veryyy young. but oh my god i dont know. I sound like a snob but it is perfect intellectual stimulation. i love Thinking. i fucking love imagining how the game will go. i love predicting my opponent’s moves it’s sooo fun. sometimes i get it just right and my opponent falls for my bait and right into my mischievously set up trap and i obliterate them. soemtimes though my opponent sees through it and surprises me and i have to be like !!!!!!!! I HAVE TO THINK HARDER NOW HOLY SHIDT !!!!! sometimes chess will have you in SUCH a stump. you will be sooo stuck and unsure of what to do. it will look like a dead end. and that’s so fun to me too … there is Always some sort of way out if you try hard enough. sometimes you have to sacrifice some pieces abd you have to think whether a rook or a horse is more important to you. i love how sometimes chess games can be casual and take like 15 minutes but sometimes it’s like, the most thought consuming thing in your life and it takes hourssss. but it’s so worth it either way bc it’s either like, the satisfaction of a hard earned win or the friendly loss of a big challenge. idgaf about winning or losing i just love playing chess. and yet i do not know shit about it!! obviously i know the pieces and how they move and shit, and i’ve worked out some strategies that i tend to open with. but i’ve never watched tournaments. i don’t know the ‘pro chess moves’. my dad never bothered to teach me and i never bothered to learn. i play like a pro but i have the unpredictability of a newbie because i seriously don’tttttt know what the fuck a fork or a queen’s gambit or a Whatever is. Like you’re just making shit up at me. chess is not about strategies or pro gamer tactics it’s about pretending to be smart and becoming dr strange imagining every possible outcome of your opponent’s next move

[quicksilverownsmysoul]

Coffee of the Week pt.2

Icon credit: @thatspookyagent

Summary: This is the second part to Coffee of the Week, where Colin takes the reader out for their date. You can read Part 1 Here

Warnings: None this is pure fluff

Word Count: 2245

"So," Mare said in a bored voice. "Have you decided where you're taking her for your date tonight?" Colin paused for a moment before answering, which confirmed Mare’s suspicions

"No I have not." Colin said, doing his best to avoid Mare's judgmental eyes. 

"Really man, you had all week to think of a place."

"I know." He signed leaning back in his chair, he swiveled it to the side to face Mare. "But like where would I even take her? There's only like three restaurants in Eastown." 

"Hey!” Mare said defensively. "We have four restaurants you're forgetting the KFC that's attached to the Taco Bell." Mare joked as she began to put away her papers. 

'My bad." Colin smiled to himself at Mare's little joke. It seems that lately she was warming up to him, it was nice to be able to joke and talk to her like this. He watched as she cleaned up the rest of her desk.

"But seriously where are you taking her." Mare glanced at the clock on her computer screen before shutting it down. "It's already 6:30 you should be getting ready by now."

Colin glanced down at himself. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing now?"

Mare pursed her lips. "Nothing. Just forget I said anything." 

"See there's another thing I have to worry about now." Colin ran a hand down his face. "I haven't even been here that long so I don't really know where is a good place to eat at.” Colin sat with his head in his hands for a moment before lifting it up, eyes glancing towards Mare. He turned slowly towards Mare, a hopeful smile on his face. "Unless you-"

"No." 

"Mare-"

"No."

"If you could recommend-"

"No." 

"Mare please!” He had stood up at this point and moved towards Mare’s desk, she had scooted her chair away from his approaching form, her face scrunched up at his persistent pleading. “Please tell me where to take her! I really like her and I don’t wanna mess up." Mare finally glanced over at him through the corner of her eye. He looked like a kicked puppy, he was so desperate it physically hurt her. 

She sighed. "Fine." Colin's face split open in a wide smile. "Stop that." She snapped, he immediately tried to change his facial expression back to neutral but Mare could see he was trying to fight back his smile. "You should take her to the Italian restaurant that's near the center of town, one of my friends works there." She tore a piece of paper off one of her reports. "Tell her that Mare sent you and she'll make sure to give you a good table and treat you and (y/n) well." She handed the paper over to Colin.

His eagerly grabbed it and smiled widely at Mare, "Thank you so much Mare you-"

She held her hand up to silence him, pointing an accusing finger. "Don't make this into a big deal detective." Mare shrugged on her coat and made her way towards the door. "And if you tell her it's a date she'll throw in a free dessert.

"Thank y-"

"Not. A. Big. Deal." Mare slammed the door shut. Colin smiled at her fading figure, she was definitely warming up to him.

Colin’s heart was beating out of his chest as he pulled up to your house, a million thoughts running through his head. Things like was he too early? It was only 7:30 he wasn't supposed to pick you up till 8:00. What if you weren't ready, was he dressed up enough, was he over dressed?? He shook his head trying to clear all the thoughts that plagued him. 

He made his way to your front door and after a few seconds of hesitation rang your doorbell. The sound of loud barking made him jump up in surprise. “I’m coming.” He heard your voice yell and the sounds of your footsteps approaching the door. You opened the door with a smile, you were holding a big fluffy dog by its collar as it strained against your hold. “Hey Colin! Sorry about him, he always barks when someone is at the door.” He glanced down at the dog, it was eagerly trying to pull its way towards him, tail wagging intensely. “Let me go put him outside. I don’t want him jumping all over you.”

With zero hesitation Colin said. “Let him go.”

“What?” You asked in surprise.

“Let him go, I wanna meet him.”

You let out a little laugh.“ Are you sure? He’s a jumper.”

“Of course!” You let go of your dog’s collar and he went barreling towards Colin, who was squatting down with his arms wide open. Your dog ran into his arms and knocked him flat on his back. You rushed forward to pull your dog back until you saw Colin laughing. Your dog was licking him all over while Colin nestled his face into your dog’s fur. “You’re such a good boy aren't you?” Colin asked as he petted your dog, your dog just wagged his tail even faster and tried to lick Colin’s face even more, you smiled at the sight 

“It seems he likes you.” You giggled out. 

“What’s his name?”

“His name is Tino.” 

“Hello Tino, I’m Colin.” Colin shook your dogs paw introducing himself. You smiled at his antics and squatted down next to him, rubbing Tino’s soft ears in your hand. “What kinda dog is he?” 

“I’m not sure, I adopted him from the center in town and no one seemed to know what kind he was.” Colin nodded at your answer and tried his best to stand back up, it was a task in itself since Tino kept trying to knock him back down. You stood up as well and let out a small laugh at Colin’s appearance. “What?” He asked. His once crisp shirt was wrinkled, and his perfectly combed hair was all tousled. He was covered head to toe in dog fur. 

“I think Tino may have gotten a little bit of fur on you.” He glanced down and saw all the dog's hair sticking to him. He laughed with you and did his best to try and pick the dog hair off. ‘Wait here.” You went inside and came back with a lint roller in hand. He took it and began to roll it up and down his clothes. You moved closer to him and brushed his hair out of his face, smoothing it back into place. He blushed at the action. 

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yea! Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise!” You laughed, it really wasn't he only really had three options on where to take you in Easttown. And you figured it wasn't going to be the Taco Bell or KFC. 

The ride to the restaurant didn't take too long and in no time you two had pulled up to the place. He parked and rushed out of the car to your side. He opened your door for you and you swooned at the old fashioned action. You looped your arm through his and he led you to the door, he whispered something to the hostess and she smiled widely and quickly led you two to a table. It was almost sectioned off from the other ones, it had an aura of privacy to it. She rushed over and placed a rose in the vase at the center of the table and lit up the candles. Colin pulled the chair out for you before sitting down on his own. 

He picked at the table cloth, not meeting your eyes. “‘So, did I pick a good place?’ He asked with a nervous smile.

“Mhmm, this is my favorite out of all of Easttown’s numerous restaurants.” You smiled at him coyly, he let out a little laugh. 

The rest of the night seemed to speed by, you and Colin just clicked, there wasn’t a moment that wasn't filled with conversation. Either about his work or about your own, him telling stories about his current cases or you telling him about the rude customers you had gotten that day. Then it shifted towards talking about your favorite tv shows or movies. He admitted that his job didn't leave him much time to watch tv and you vowed that one of your date nights had to be a tv or movie marathon. He blushed at the insulation that there was going to be a second date. 

You two had just finished off your meals when the hostess came by holding a piece of Tiramisu, you let yourself think about the irony of it. You guys had met at your coffee shop and here you were on your first date beings served a coffee flavored dessert. She set it down in front of you two. The plate was decorated with chocolate powder in the shape of a heart. You glanced down at the table and noticed Colin’s hand resting on the table, inching its way closer to yours. You closed the distance and placed your hand over his, squeezing it lightly. He smiled up at you and you returned it. He let you take the first bite of the desert, and he even let you have the last bite. He was a true gentleman through and through. 

The drive home was filled with constant loving stares back and forth, your hands resting intertwined on your thigh. When you guys got back to your place you didn't want to leave the car, it had been a while since you had a date like that. One filled with so much comfort and romance, one you never wanted to end. More often that you went on dates with sleazy men that picked you up two hours late and flirted with your hostess. Which resulted in you sneaking out the bathroom window and drinking your sorrows away at the bar. But you had a feeling you wouldn't be ditching any of your upcoming dates. 

Colin, being the gentleman he was, got out and went to open your door for you, much to his and your own dismay. You slid out of the seat and walked as slowly as possible to your front door. He held both your hands in his own. “This was fun.” He looked down at his shoes, not meeting your eyes, fearing you wouldn’t agree with him.

“It really was, we should do it again.” His head whipped up at your response, a smile taking hold of his features. 

“How does next Friday sound?”

“LIke it’s too far away.” He blushed at your words. “But I think I can wait till then if you continue to come by every morning.” 

“Well I couldn't very well start each day without the best cup of coffee in the world now could I?”

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, his heart fluttered at being able to make you laugh. What he wouldn't give to spend the rest of his life trying to make you laugh. A little warning light went off in him at that thought, was he seriously already thinking of spending his life with you. You guys had only met this week and it was only your first date. What if you thought he was moving too fast? What if you didn't want to even go out again? Wait, you had just said you wanted to go out again. He was spiraling, lost in his own thoughts. You saw his brow furrow and reached your hand out to smooth out his worry lines. 

“What’s bugging’ ya detective?” His eyes widened at hearing your sweet voice address him by detective. 

“Nothing, just lost in my thoughts.” His ears turned red at the realization he had just zoned out in front of you. You just giggled, moving your hand down to cup his face. He leaned into your soft touch and slowly moved his hands up to rest on your waist. He pulled you closer and you began to slowly move forward. Your lips connected, it was very soft and hesitant. You moved your other hand up to cup the back of his neck, running your fingers near the edges of his hair. The wind blew softly around you two, making your hair and his coat flutter. You pulled away and rested your foreheads together. You looked up at him through your lashes, reluctantly beginning to pull away. “Goodnight detective.” 

He pulled away as well, letting his hand linger in your own, holding on to your fingertips until he couldn't anymore. “Goodnight (y/n), I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“I can’t wait.” You closed the door and he stayed outside your door until he heard the locks click shut. Once he knew you were safe he made his way back to the car, pumping his arms in the air, in joy. 

Unknown to him you were watching his little display of happiness from your window. You did your best to suppress a fit of giggles as you sat down at the little window seat, unfastening your heels and tossing them to the floor. You tucked your feet underneath yourself and watched him get back into his car, a smile never leaving his face, and never leaving yours. You gently touch your fingertips to your lips, the lingering taste of his lips on your own. You sighed at the memory,  he was going to be the death of you. 

[thesuperyooper]

Buzzfeed Unsolved VS Markiplier Manor

Inspired by this post by @markired 

This was too fun to write... 

"Here it is, Markiplier Manor." Ryan mused as the the Buzzfeed Unsolved crew pulled up to the looming mansion.

"Markiplier... why does that name sound so familiar?" Shane asked and Ryan shrugged.

"No idea man. No idea." he replied.

The group got out of the car and the cameraman started rolling on the manor.

"This is Markiplier Manor, one of the most mysterious and putatively haunted places in all of LA." Ryan introduced as the cameras panned to the mansion. A thunder cloud began to roll in overhead and a light rumble filled the air. Ryan jumped a bit and Shane laughed at him.

"We're not even in the house yet and you're already losing your shit." Shane giggled as they approached the main entrance.

The door was large and wooden, with a long vertical window in the center and matching ones alongside the door. A warm, golden glow emanated through the designs in the window panes. Two sets of armor stood watch over the door. The whole house gave off a welcoming feeling that didn't match the cold, stone facade of the manor. It quite sit right with anyone in the group. Ryan knocked on the door gently.

The door swung open hastily and a tall, well built man in black tie attire greeted them. He wore white gloves and his black, curly hair was styled back with expertise. "Ah, Bonjour! Welcome to Markiplier Manor!" he greeted with a jubilant smile on his face, "You must be the Buzzfeed crew! Come in, come in. I shall get out of your way, forthwith."

The butler disappeared into the house. The three men shuffled in the house and Shane looked at Ryan with a confused look.

"What the hell does forthwith mean?" Shane whispered as they made their way into the sitting room.

Ryan shrugged once again, but was caught off guard by a soft voice coming from the entryway that they had just left.

"Oh! There you are, old friend. How are you settling into your new office?" the voice whispered. It sounded layered, almost. Like it wasn't in the right place.

Ryan looked, confused once again, to Shane. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, the butler seems to be having a rough time in the kitchen." Shane laughed, and Ryan heard a clanging from another room.

"No, not that. That voice." Ryan reiterated. Shane rolled his eyes and clambered down onto the couch. Ryan sat down next to him and pulled out his phone, shaking off the weird vibe he was getting from the house. The cameraman set up a tripod and started filming the two.

“So, what’s up with this house?” Shane asked, leaning back, and Ryan pulled up his script on his phone.

“Well, back in the 1920’s, this house was under ownership of an actor by the name of Mark.” Ryan began.

“Wonder where the Iplier came from…” Shane questioned.

“Maybe it was his last name?” Ryan suggested.

“Nah, I bet his last name was something ridiculous. Like Fischbach.” Shane joked.

Ryan laughed and continued to read the history of the manor. “Mark lived here his whole life with his best friend, William. William left to serve in World War 1 where he came back as a Colonel. Upon his arrival back into the United States, his friends, Mark, the D.A, who’s name is never specified, and Damien, the town’s mayor at the time, began calling him The Colonel, and the nickname stuck. Mark helped William find employment after the war and kept him financially stable.”

“Like, the KFC Colonel?” Shane joked once again.

“Imagine coming back from World War 1 and your friends literally renaming you after a fast food mascot.” Ryan chuckled.

“I’d kill you.” his counterpart added.

Ryan continued once more. “It’s said that Mark, Damien, the D.A. and William were inseparable, until, that is, Mark married Damien’s sister Celine. It’s safe to say William was jealous, for now he was in debt to Mark and in love with his wife. Nothing big happened, though, until Celine left Mark for William. Mark then ostracized himself from the group; isolating himself in this very manor for months.”

“Jesus Christ,” Shane exhaled, “curb your best friend and steal his wife.”

“Talk about a homewrecker.” Ryan jabbed.

“Okay, but what about Damien? The poor guy is stuck in the middle of this like “I don’t want either of you to date my sister!”” Shane said in an old-timey voice.

“One day he just goes, “Fuck both of you!” and Celine goes “Been there done that.”” Ryan weezed.

“The D.A. just nopes out of the whole situation.” Shane giggled.

After catching his breath, Ryan went on, “After a year or so, Mark organized a private, weekend, poker party, in this very manor. Damien had told his girlfriend at the time that he thought Mark  was “trying to get the gang back together.” The party was exclusive and the only accounts of what happened that night were from the chef, the groundskeeper, a detective named Abe, and the butler, Benjamin.”

“I wonder if he’s any relation to our tall, dark, and handsome butler friend?” Shane mused.

“Maybe his grandfather?” Ryan guessed. “The only definitive things we know about the poker party was that the only people to come out alive were the groundskeeper, the chef, and Benjamin. The story goes, that Mark was killed the morning after the party, and the rest of the folks tried to figure out who the murderer was. Accounts of strange happenings such as Mark’s body vanishing, disembodied whispers, broken mirrors, and people appearing out of nowhere, have led people to believe the house may have been cursed before the party.”

“Wait- the body just disappeared?” Shane asked.

“Just straight up vanishes.” Ryan confirmed, “Never to be seen again.”

“Sounds hinkey” Shane replied.

“Most of the witnesses to the party refused to talk about it, the chef even claiming that he’d rather die than go back to the manor.” Ryan explained, “The only body found was Abe’s, who had been shot in the stomach. There are three theories: One- the bodies of the D.A., the Colonel, Mark, Damien, and Celine were disposed of by the staff of the house, who had gotten fed up with Mark’s management. Two- William killed Mark, Damien and the D.A. and ran off with Celine. And Three- every one thought to be dead is still alive. There have been accounts of people seeing William with pink hair and a mustache to match and Damien by his side. Some people also believe that Mark is still alive and makes Youtube videos.”

“Hold your fucking horses.” Shane yelled. “You’re telling me people think they’ve seen these guys, like present day setting? They would be like, over 100 years old by now!”

“I’m just reading the theories, man!” Ryan retorted, laughing, “Don’t shoot the messenger!”

Shane just laughed and shook his head, “I think it’s time we shut off the lights and get to ghosting!”

A couple hours later, Shane and Ryan were walking through Markiplier Manor, their cameraman in tow. As they walked into the dining room, Ryan clicked on the spirit box.

“Is there anyone here?” Ryan asked, as the spirit box’s static noise echoed throughout the house. “If the spirits haunting this house are with us tonight, make yourselves known!”

“Mark, if you are here, tickle Ryan’s chin!” Shane joked, earning him a glare from Ryan.

The spirit box crackled. A deep laugh was heard quietly through the house and the spirit box started to play some sort of techno-music.

“What the fuck?!” Ryan shouted, startled, immediately turning the spirit box off. “You heard that laugh too, right?”

Shane shrugged, “It sounded like the house settling to me.”

They moved into the sitting room and Ryan switched on the spirit box once more.

“What happened during the weekend of October 10th?” Shane asked.

The spirit box crackled, “Murder.”

“Holy shit dude.” Ryan gasped as a bolt of lightning struck outside.

“Well, that’s comforting.” Shane replied.

Next, they went to the D.A.’s room. Nothing happened. Then, to William’s room. Nothing happened. Their last stop on the second floor was Mark’s room.

They looked around at the room and Shane picked up a picture frame. Inside was a picture of William, Damien, and Mark. He set it on the floor and the Ghoul Boys sat around it.

“What happened between you and William, Mark?” was the question he proposed.

A hush fell over the room, before a strange, disembodied whispered quietly said, “Can I borrow your friend here?” The picture flipped over and the glass cracked around the Colonel’s face.

“You had to have heard that!” Ryan shouted, backing away from the picture as Shane picked it up.

“That butler is going to kill us.”

The boys exit the room in a panicked rush before they heard a voice shouting, “Madness is stealing your best friend’s wife! Madness is plotting the death of your childhood friend because you can’t handle the tru-” The voice was cut off by a gunshot that came from the upstairs balcony.

Shane and Ryan ran to the balcony, only to find no one there. They looked at each other, before running downstairs and towards the exit.

Before leaving the two paused in front of a large mirror and caught their breath. Suddenly the mirror shattered and a piercing scream came from the corridor below the balcony. Shane and Ryan looked at the mirror to find the D.A. staring out at them, screaming and pounding their fists against the shattered glass. Both men screamed and ran out the door, into two solid objects.

When they looked up, they realized that they had just ran into two other men. One was wearing a black suit and had pitch black eyes, while the other wore a yellow shirt and pink suspenders, his hair and mustache the same shade of bubblegum.

“Heard you two were looking for ghosts!” the man that people claimed to be William said in a slurred cadence.

Shane and Ryan ran passed them, their cameraman not too far behind. They jumped in their car and drove away from the manor.

“You guys win! I believe it all now!” Shane yelled.

And that was the final episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural.