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#Hanji x you
hangesdarling · 2 months
Note
Can I ask for hate sex with hange?
(Hope this fits within your rules!)
commitment — h. zoë
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PAIRING. Hange Zoë x female reader SYNOPSIS. Commander Hange find it difficult to commit into a relationship with you. CONTENT. 18+, MDNI, biting, leaving bite marks, vaginal fingering, oral sex (hange receiving), overstimulation, panty stuffing, scissoring, angst, alcoholism, teasing, dirty talk (lmk what else) WORD COUNT. 4.1k (i got carried away 😭) A/N. School may be killing me but at least I get to write this angsty smut for Hange (sorry for taking so long anon, and yesss, this fits with my rules 💕)
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Your privilege from birth remained an indelible mark and only strengthened when your father rose to rank in the military police brigade. Those itchy elegant clothes at private parties, or of wearing a proper pin-up dress when you want to cross the road without a word of judgment became a pervasive familiarity.
Maybe even freedom contorted itself to your comfort and safety for you only saw Titans in those publications. Hange thought of you as an entitled woman untouched even by the dust from Shiganshina as expected from someone who lived in the inner walls from birth. 
But you love playing with fire. You love Hange's esoteric yet strangely fascinating eye bored through you across that expansive room. It was full of people in the usual fancy setting you were used to. Empty words were exchanged through them as if a common meeting could create another layer of peace to prevent such bonds from breaking. 
However, tonight was not so tasteless when you're exchanging wordless conversations and suggestive glances with the Commander of the Survey Corps. 
The party was not fascinating but the eventual meetings that followed were. For some time, your father almost believed you were interested in a position in the military from how you frequented the headquarters. Your surreptitious meetings with Hange came once a week, turning twice or thrice later on. Eventually, their vision of you as an entitled woman shattered under one kiss followed by sloppy lovemaking in their office. 
"So you weren't so stuck up after all," Hange mused, their lips stained with the gloss from your lips. 
"And you weren't so sophisticated, Commander." A teasing smirk rose on your lips, fingers circling the angry kiss marks trailing up from their chest to their neck. Your hips mounted to reposition yourself in their lap, earning an appreciative smile from them just for your boldness. "Taking me right here in the office? Really?" 
Your banters flowed like fluid robbed of viscosity, a free-flowing connection to the soul. Hange has this charming, relaxed smile, a glimpse of their youth smothered by the weight of responsibility on their shoulders. Your presence became a prying tool, each loving word uttered lifting the heaviness within them. 
You relished on those weekdays you had to pretend that you were not fucking the Commander. A sensational thrill shot through your body, even to the tips of your toes just from writing each lipstick-stained letter, each lewd word placed upon paper to be mailed directly at their office disguised as a formal letter. 
Lately, your meetings have thinned to twice or thrice a month, putting intense yearning upon waiting for a familiar letter in your mailbox. It wasn't frequent but Hange had a way with words, and it was enough to make you read their letter the way a devotee reads their bible. 
However, upon another chance of meeting after such intense longing, you found Hange in haste, bounding your conversation into half an hour based on how the clock on their wrist ticked. 
So you hugged them, you nestled your head on their chest like you always used to as if doing so would merit their stay. 
"Sweetheart, I really have no time for this," their tone sounded apologetic, as if in repentance for your yearning bounded by their time. "Say what you want to say, Y/N."
"Tell me, Hange. What are we?" It was soft yet so pointed that Hange stirred from your touch. They can't find a way to scoot around the topic with your tone of adamance. Their lips pursed into a thin line before sighing. 
"Y/N, we've talked about this." 
Your fists clenched at their olive uniform, your face remained buried on their chest. 
"But Hange... We've been seeing each other for such a long time now. And I..."
Hange knows you cannot finish your sentence, each word snatched from your mouth for fear of sounding pathetic. 
"Y/N, look, I wasn't carved out for such a commitment," they pulled away gently, lifting your chin to look at them and letting go eventually when you shook their hand off. "I care for you, Y/N. But we can't do this now." 
That's what you always say, you wanted to scream out. That this wasn't the right time, that it would be best to keep things this way not to hurt each other. You always do this as if there was always a better time than now.
Your hand clenched around their coat once more then let go all at once. Hange's watch ticked twice.
"I hate you," your lips moved in scorn, in an angry desperation to not burst into tears. It took all Hange's strength to not argue back, to resist your statement and pull you back in their arms so this parting wouldn't hurt as much. Their watch ticked again and like any other meetings, they didn't have time. 
Hange sighed, squeezing your hand and letting it go as they stepped back. "I'm sorry, Y/N. We'll talk about this when I get back."
Your eyes welled with tears as their footsteps grew fainter from where you stood frozen. You tried to walk away silently but the sound of their train leaving clutched you in an urge to scream. 
-
Maybe Hange was right that being in an official relationship wasn't any better.  I have to grow up, you told yourself. Hange has this mature view of things that smothers their imaginative side. Their decisions felt like the safest yet most terrible ones you couldn't wrap your heart around. You grew up knowing that things you want would materialize the moment you wished for them. It contrasts all the harsh experiences Hange had outside the walls all those years ago, not only fighting titans but the corrupt humans themselves. This isn't a fairy tale, Y/N, your mind spoke in Hange's voice. 
But you want to stop longing, to await for a love that does not dither, for a piece of commitment you could hold onto each time you wait for Hange to come back. Just the slightest verbal evidence that you're the person they come to as a lover. But your attempt to get their heart in your care failed once again. 
Maybe you were never their lover. You're just another one of those women they invited over for a fortnight of pleasure. You just happen to last long enough because they weren't tired of you just yet. You scoffed to yourself, pouring yourself another drink later that night day when Hange left. They should be getting on the ship as of this time based on your estimate. Another few weeks of not seeing each other, but this time parting with such bitter words. 
I hate you. 
Did you truly mean it? Maybe you hate their choice, but not them. Or perhaps it was irritating how much you cannot fully place hate on their name even if you tried.
You drank the bottle of wine to the last droplet, mind considering a visit to your father's headquarters early that morning. 
-
Not long ago, you earned a temporary job in the headquarters as an excuse to see Hange. It was rather tedious but you're not aversed about reading lengthy reports and sorting them when you could always meet the Commander afterwards. But with Hange's absence, the papers were getting more difficult to bear that you had to avert your eyes from the pile for at least an hour. 
However, you left the room later on, remembering you shouldn't have to bear with such things when you have a privilege placed on your name. You could always pay that kind soldier trying to help you out. But later that noon, he won't accept monetary payment, but rather a chance to take you out on a drink until night. 
Perhaps it wasn't such a bad offer since you needed a drink yourself. A splash of alcohol might hopefully erase Hange's face from your mind. You haven't even written a single letter since they left and planned to keep it that way. 
The bar where soldiers of low ranks weren't as sophisticated, and the cheap drinks tasted unique. Your first drink burned your throat but you were too thrilled by the new environment to even protest. You tried to imagine Hange in place of the guy next to you. Hange would have looked at you in amusement, maybe even tried to down a bottle to show you a glimpse of their previous life before they became Commander. 
But that daydream blurs and vanishes into a tasteless reality as you down a few drinks. This place only reminded you of Hange's absence, an environment far too cruel for you to bear. It was clear that you wanted to leave the bar and cut that night short. The man who brought you here has been a help in your tipsy state, and much to your distaste, he began a shaky confession of why he brought you here. 
His hands were cold when they met yours, you wanted to roll your eyes at how he was trying to meet your eyes. You're beautiful, you're friendly enough. I always see you frequent the headquarters. 
Shallow confessions, you thought to yourself, and yet it all sounds tempting especially now that the alcohol was kicking in. 
You tried to kiss him mid-sentence, tasting the cheap beer on both of your lips. His lips felt strange, unfamiliar, and almost cold from the air outside. You retracted almost immediately, the tempting whispers of the alcohol in your system diminished all at once. It was a terrible kiss and it will never feel good when your lips keep searching for Hange's sweet and loving ones. 
You're not one to toy with other people's feelings but the kiss stirred and hazed your mind back to soberness that you ran away into the frigid night. You tried to wash away the taste with another glass of wine when you got home but the feeling of betrayal lingered.
But then again, it wouldn't be a betrayal to Hange because you were never theirs. They've made it clear a few more times than enough. 
We can't do this now. There wasn't an ‘us’ to begin with. 
Later that midnight, you tried writing several letters addressed to Hange but none felt right. All ended up in a discarded pile beside your bed, your inked hands unwashed as the alcohol inched you closer to slumber. 
-
Returning to Paradis without you in sight made the morning all the more bitter for Hange. Not a letter from you, nor an answer for all the letters they sent while they were away. They remember the hatred laced with your words the last time you saw one another. 
Against all the bitterness nestled within them, they remained wishing that you never meant your words. 
Later that afternoon in the headquarters, they wanted to come to you but decided against it at the last minute. They need a few hours to themselves. Maybe for sleep or other things. However, Hange cannot sleep now that their mind is occupied not just by the pressing issues in the military, but also by you. 
They thought of your sweet, blushing face in their hands whenever they kiss you, or how you make a seat for yourself in their lap whenever you're in the mood to be playful, but above all that, they longed to feel you after such a tedious time away. Their mind was plagued with questions of where you were and what had happened while they were gone. Do you still resent them? 
However, their questions were beginning to be answered in such an unlikely manner when they overheard a conversation among soldiers drinking at work. The Commander wanted to burst in and admonish them for misbehavior when they heard your name being spoken along degrading words. A slut. A woman easily persuaded by an invitation to drink. Hange proceeded to listen, fists clenched as the soldier you kissed not even a week ago decided to warp his story of rejection to your disadvantage.
Hange glanced at these soldiers, remembering the names and faces they would subject to grueling military work later that day. They forgot their tiredness and went out of the headquarters to look for you.
-
Hange didn't want to believe that man's words. They placed their trust in you to that extent. However, their reasoning shattered when they heard it from your mouth. 
You resent them because seeing them makes your heart ache. You wished to hurt them the way they did when they broke your heart. 
 "I was never yours, Hange. You've made that clear several times so why bother to snoop around to what I'm up to?" you glared at them when they stood blocking the way out of your room. 
"Are you telling me these things because you're bored of me and wish to have a new plaything, or is this your petty attempt to make me mad?" Hange gave you a tired glare, arms crossed over their chest. They were too exhausted to deal with your temper at that moment and wished for a more civilized conversation. 
Your brows rose from their claim and said, "I'm not one to find playthings, and toy with them until I'm satisfied. Maybe you should look at yourself, Hange."
Your attempt to storm out of the room was interrupted when Hange caught your arm and brought you back to face them. "You think I'm toying with you?" Their tone only indicated that you managed to anger them with that statement. 
"What am I supposed to think when we only met several times just to fuck each other and yet you seem revolted by the idea of even calling me your lover?" you jabbed a finger on their chest, your tears more unbridled than that of your last meeting. "Was it easier to dedicate your life protecting a hopeless, godforsaken land than loving me?" 
Your claims were making Hange snap but they couldn't let themself lose control now. 
"You misunderstood me entirely," they muttered as if speaking any louder would prompt them to break. "And don't you dare call Paradis hopeless. You know nothing about it."
"You think so low of me, don't you? You think I'm too stupid to know what's happening here?" you argued, hastily wiping your tears so they wouldn't blur your vision. "It's obvious we don't understand each other. Maybe it's better if we stop all of this entirely."
Their grip on your arm tightened unconsciously. "You don't mean that," they scoffed. 
"Don't challenge me, Hange. You must be a fool if you think I can't replace you," you said coldly, earning a glare from them. Hange couldn't hold themself any longer, the frustration from work coupled with your behavior towards them irritates them further. 
They swiftly locked the door and pulled you towards them, arms circled tightly on your waist. Their face was centimeters away from you, their warm breath brushing against your lips, "This is not what I'm expecting when I come back here, Y/N. You're such a clever girl so you must know what I'm feeling right now."
Their hand went to the back of your head, lips touching yours as they whispered, "I'm so damn fed up and not just that..."
Hange dragged you back to your bed, forcing you to sit down. Their silent aggressiveness scared you when they slowly pressed their body against yours, their frame caging you firmly like one would do to a prey. Your legs dangled over the edge as their knees pressed on your sides. The bruising kisses they gave dug into your skin, almost like Hange was trying to tear the soft surface apart until you bled. 
"Hange, not here," you hissed, pushing on their shoulders. They groaned on your neck and gathered your wrists over your head.
"Don't act like this is the first time I fucked you here," they retorted, completing the cruel necklace of love bites surrounding your neck. Hange rolled up your skirt to your waist, their other hand pushing at the back of your thigh so you would lay open for them. 
"My father's at home, you asshole."
"I don't care," they replied almost immediately. "Let your father hear us. Let him know I'm already defiling you so he'd force me to marry you. After all, that's what you want, right?" 
"You twist my words," you argued. 
"I'm just learning from you," Hange muttered, their desperate lips now kissing on your chest. Hange could feel that your wrists were starting to relax on their grip. "Do you know how much irritates me when you think I don't love you?" 
"Maybe you should ask yourself why I think that way," you shot back. 
"If I'm so terrible in your mind then let me prove you otherwise," Hange told you like a firm promise, letting go of your hand to undo your clothes to the last button. Their hand kneaded on your waist, finding their way to settle on your breasts. 
You hated how much your body leaned into their warmth, of how you let yourself become so vulnerable and bare in their eyes. Your resentment felt so shallow when you fall apart every time their hands touched you.
Hange breathed onto your neck, their hand passionately locked around yours while the other glided over your folds. You gave their neck the same treatment from earlier as you left bruising kisses on their skin, making sure that their subordinates will see through the marks even with their uniform. 
Hange kept your moans muffled with their mouth, their usual loving whispers gone and replaced by a desperateness to have you, to make you come all over their hands once more. Your fingers gripped and dug into their uniform, the coil on your stomach tightening with each thrust. 
"Hange..." you whispered their name and repeated it like a fervent prayer as their lips never left your body. You clamped a hand over your mouth as your hips rocked against their fingers.
"Louder, sweetheart. You want people downstairs to hear you, right?" Hange smirked, their lips and thrusts both deepening as if in punishment for the moans you were trying to muffle. They tore your hand from your mouth and bit on your skin, earning a whimper from you.
You desperately closed your legs in between their hands but Hange only pulled them farther apart.
Come again for me, sweetheart, they would whisper, and you would collapse onto them over and over again the way rocks gently wear away against the crashing of waves.
Hange pulled their calloused fingers from your dripping cunt, groaning when they felt your teeth biting them again once more.
You wrapped a leg around them, shifting your body weight so you could straddle them. Hange felt your hands ripping at the zipper of their pants, the button securing the band disconnecting from the fabric.
 "Ease down, Y/N, damnit," they grunted as you strip off their button in haste. You bite on their lip as you kiss, letting them know you're in no mood to be gentle nor loving like you always used to. Your passion was coarse and carnal, grating through their flesh. Your hands found their underwear, slipping it off their legs without letting them say a thing.
You balled the fabric into a loose gag before stuffing it on their mouth. Your lips curled into a smirk before kissing their forehead, saying,  "You talk too much, Commander, it’s irritating. So you better keep that on until I'm done with you."
Hange groaned softly, patiently watching you settle in between their thighs. Your eyes bored onto theirs as the soft pad of your thumb circled their clit. Their hands found your hair, gripping onto them the moment your tongue glided along their slit. Hange whined at how torturously slow you used your tongue, getting them to the edge and pulling away when they needed it most.
Hange kept their mouth stuffed as you wished but proceeded to brutally use your mouth later on in accord with their liking.
"That's right, put your mouth to good use," they grunted, spitting out the gag later on, their inner thighs pressing on your head as their cum smeared your lips and chin. They delivered a wet, warm kiss on your lips, fingers resting on your chin as they said, "That's a lot better than arguing with me, don't you think?"
You groaned at that remark, yet your stamina was too depleted to protest when they're shifting you into another position. 
"I'm tired, Hange," you mumbled. 
"And I'm not, Y/N," they answered back, lifting your leg so they could settle in between. "I'll stop once you cease this bullshit with me, and handle your temper so we could talk."
"You wish," you rolled your eyes. 
Their hand circled around your throat as they inch closer to your face and spoke, "Then shut your mouth and take it."
Hange pushed your legs further, your soaked entrances meeting. Hange groaned as they felt the friction building up close to their pelvic region. They gave your throat a light squeeze as their hips moved against yours. You pulled onto their collar for a kiss, distracting both of you from how the bed creaks just by your movements escalating to roughness. 
Your intimacy was full of marks, of bites that drew blood. Your bodies moved in such a way where a stronger emotion could be felt other than desire. Perhaps it was longing, or an immense unresolved yearning of two hearts who could only find understanding through the flesh. 
Hange's lips trembled against yours as they came, their grip loosening so their hands could trail along your back. They placed a band of love bites that turned to purplish bruises, their tongue licking along the ones that managed to bleed. It took a while before your breathing stabilized enough.
Hange untangled their body from you and dressed up silently a few minutes later, mumbling about how it was getting too late, that it would be suspicious for them to stay. You're too tired to sulk as you shift your body to turn against them, finding comfort from the warm sheet encasing your body. Fine, just go, you wanted to mutter in defeat. 
However, Hange walked over to you, kneeling down so they could meet your eyes once more. They tucked the stray hair from your face as they spoke, "I'll talk to your father first thing in the morning."
You were alerted, brows creasing as your eyes tried to scan their intentions. "For what?" 
"Well," Hange sighed softly, playing on the loose strands on your face. "You have quite a traditional family so I'll formally talk to your father about us. I hope to merit a positive response."
"But I thought you don't want a committed relationship with me..."
"I know I told you that several times before," Hange traced a thumb over your cheek. "Truly it scares me because I know what I'm like. I can't give you all my attention, Y/N, and I don't want that to hurt you. But I've hurt you several times already because of my refusal. My fear is not worth breaking your heart over."
Their solemn gaze met yours, and you could feel another layer wearing away from them. Another vulnerability they're willing to hand over to you. You couldn't have guessed that they would bare their heart this way.
"Hange..."  There are things you wanted to say but couldn't find one where you could subdue your intense, profound appreciation. Your hand went to their cheek, gathering their warm skin onto your hand. 
"Y/N, you deserve more than I could give you. I can't promise to be everything you wished for. And perhaps it scares me terribly that you'll end up hating me for it," Hange continued, their gaze softening. "But I'll try, alright?" 
"Alright," you smiled, absentmindedly fixing their collar and tugging on it as a subtle plea. "Could you... stay for a bit longer?" 
Hange's responsibilities await like an undesirable visitor at their desk, waiting for them to get through their office door and pounce upon them. It thins their energy and will, a fuse burned into blackness within their heart. Staying with you would only create another opportunity for work to pile up higher, and yet, they couldn't find the heart to refuse. They felt like a charred, pitiful wick that once burned brightly. Your loving embrace, and intoxicating touch, your insistent love they cannot shut down for much longer— all made them forget their inanition and diminished vigor within.
"Of course I can stay," Hange smiled before letting themself sink back into your embrace, drowning themself into your depth until they couldn't breathe. 
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likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3
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14dyh · 2 months
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#18!! I just wanna make hange jealous/be jealous
Replacement | H.Z.
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Pairing: Hange Zoë x female reader Summary: Hange seems to love it when you style your hair a certain way. Content Warning: slow-burn - happy beginning, things fall apart, angst, jealousy, lots of mentions of pikuhan (because they were ex lovers on this one), doubts and insecurities, reader is mentioned as kinda feminine Word count: 3.2k A/N: sorry this took so long. it was a bit slow but i hope you'll like it, anon :)
It has been a month of exchanging letters with Hange, and a few minutes of waiting for their arrival in the dock when you spotted their figure on the ship. The bluish sky seemed to brighten as the ship drew closer, your eyes brimming with joy at once when Hange came running to you once the ship landed.
Family, lovers, and friends await, the waiting area almost filled in groups of twos or threes but all seemed to blur out once Hange filled your vision, hands around your waist as they happily twirled you around. You smile into their neck, your fingers finding their way back to the soft brown hair you longed to touch.
Hange nestled their head onto your body, their grip unrelenting as they inhaled the familiar flowery scent from your perfume that always makes them smile.  "I missed you, sweetheart," they smiled against your ear.
As you walked hand in hand towards the awaiting train, you expected the heliotropes they brought out of their coat, the never-ending stories of fascinating things they encountered from their trip, and most of all the photographs and souvenirs they bought for you. But they showed you something that sent your senses frozen in both disbelief and overjoy. They fished out a small velvet box from their pocket, one that reminded you of the curtains and sheets you share at home. Your mind cannot fathom how your early morning on the train could start with a marriage proposal and an engagement ring on your finger but your thoughts failed to speak as you caught Hange by surprise through a tight embrace, whispering a small "yes, I'll marry you" on their coat before soaking it with your tears.
-
"Don't cry anymore, sweetheart," Hange chuckled, kissing the last few tears from your cheeks before the train stopped. "I don't like making my future bride cry, you know that."
A smile etched on your lips as you depart the train. You longed for this usual banter, their laughs, the way their eyes smile whenever they face you. Not long ago, these images plagued your dreams in a rosy film, wishing every waking for your dreams to be true. Maybe have a life where Hange doesn't have to be away from you for so long, a less demanding job perhaps? You wonder if a sudden shift would occur once you're married.
Rows of greenery grew near the embankment, the water rippling gently along the wind as you walked hand in hand. A short walk full of promises, and excited glimpses at what the future could be.
"After our wedding, maybe I'll take a week or month off from work," they would say, hand around yours. "I'll spend time making you happy. In many aspects. Would you like that, dear?"
You knew with half of your heart that they were trying to cheer you up, their fulfilling presence healing the time lost. Hange knew you enjoyed lounging at home, tending on the expanse of your garden. It felt like a perfect view, you and the flowers around you. Simple and tender, reminding Hange to purchase a camera once they returned to Marley to capture such moments.
Later that day Hange received an invitation letter. It was a simple party in the headquarters to welcome them back, along with the new Marleyan visitors.
"It wasn't such a big party, we can style ourselves then." Hange placed the invitation at the bedside table, gaze lingering on yours as you gently comb your hair.
"Say, sweetheart. Remember the way you styled your hair the last time? I think it looks beautiful on you."
Your mind recalled the way you styled your hair to their wishes. Your hands went to part your locks, fingers remembering how that style frames your face and a gentle ponytail hung on your back.
Hange's eyes smiled at you, walking over to place a kiss on your head.
"You're beautiful, Y/N," Hange whispered. Their every adoration sounded like sweet music, serenading your heart. A mellow wind blowing any doubt that would linger in your heart. They're right. You're beautiful in this hairstyle, Hange always shows you with how whenever their slender hands slip under your hair to cup your face in a loving kiss. One that sends you out of oblivion and illuminates everything.
Hange spent the night with their arms wrapped around you, their every kiss and praise sending a jolt through your skin. They would occasionally Twirl your locks around their fingers, eyes in deep rapture just by gazing at you. Their tenderness washed your worries ashore. Perhaps tomorrow you'd tell your mother about your marriage, wishing for a positive response despite knowing that you'll only come to hear a skeptical one. After all, you've only known the Commander for a few months. Tracing back your memory, has it even been eight months? You wondered. But as Hange muttered a final good night against your cheek, you were slowly rocked into slumber, dreaming of all the flowers you could place on your hair for tomorrow's party.
-
There was a single box that Hange refused to sort out or throw away. It wasn't taking up much space but you've always wondered if you could place it elsewhere if they wouldn't sort it out. As you pry the box open for a peek, you half wish this doesn't contain anything poisonous or preserved animals in jars. When the flap opened, you were greeted with a stack of envelopes, papers with their familiar handwriting, and most of all the fragrance of scented papers. You couldn't help but flip through the letters. For sure, they weren't old Survey Corps reports so you decided to look more closely and read.
Words of adoration, of longing, of intense feelings in the neat curls of Hange's handwriting. Your heart would have throbbed in happiness if it weren't for the dedication that wasn't for you.
To my beloved Pieck,
Your eyes read through, traveling around the very few photographs attached to the letters. There was Hange, smiling with a happy glint in their eyes as they held a woman with a familiar face. Of course, you know her, you might not have known her fully but you've seen her face several times. You always remarked them to be soft ones that fit her face perfectly.
It has been more than a year since Pieck and Hange broke up. It was peaceful departing from each other, you never heard a terrible word about her from Hange or their friends. If not, you heard how much Hange loved her.
You felt terrible for the tears welling in your eyes, of the heaviness weighing your heart whenever you looked at Hange's delighted smile frozen in the photograph. You wondered if you've made Hange smile in such a way if their eyes ever sparkled with just the thought of you. Looking at it for longer only creates a crevice within your heart, one that is enough to let doubtful thoughts in. You were about to seal away this box of memories once more when your eyes caught upon something. You briefly gazed at your reflection and back to the photographs Hange and Pieck shared. For a brief moment, you tried to deny it but your eyes couldn't help but gaze at how Pieck's hair frames her face, a ponytail tied low on her back.  Her usual style ever since she met Hange, but the way it mirrors the way your hair currently looked pricked your heart where it doesn't feel right.
The way your hair was tied looked very similar to hers and it almost appeared like you copied her. You loosened a few strands, tucking or siding it differently in an attempt to rid of the image. However, your little fussing stopped abruptly as you heard Hange's footsteps near the room.
"You getting ready for the party, sweetheart?" they asked casually, opening their cabinet to choose from the suits they picked earlier. "D'you think a red tie would look good on me?"
Their lighthearted tone only indicated that they didn't notice you hastily shoving the box back to its original position.  "I think it looks good on you, Hans," you remarked before standing up to smoothen your clothes.
They turned to you with a smile, running a hand through your hair in a way that the strands fell over to their original style despite your attempts to change it. "Get ready now, Y/N. I'll be waiting outside the bedroom."
-
Momentarily, you were snatched away from the terrible thoughts plaguing your mind. Hange's eyes remained on yours, never failing to tell you how beautiful you looked in that party. You stand out in a way, they said. Maybe it was the quaint old-fashioned dress, or the soft flowers adorned in your hair. However, you couldn't help but feel like everyone looked a different shade of elegant, synchronised almost as you called it.
You shared drinks with Hange, found new acquaintances, and were congratulated by Hange's friends for the upcoming marriage. Those were enough distractions to stray your mind away from the hairstyle you kept to please Hange or the way your eyes caught Hange greeting Pieck who arrived at the party. Sure, it was just a friendly greeting, nothing should be sour between them since they parted ways on good terms. But for a brief moment, you remembered the glint in their eye from the photograph kept in their box. Their smiling eye that sparkles.
It didn't help that when you fully turned in Pieck's direction, her hair was styled the same as yours, except for the flowers adorned in your head. You nibbled on your lip as you tried to avert your gaze, focusing on the swirling drink at hand or how cold the room was. Realizing you were in no position to protest or feel bad only weighed the situation. This was her hairstyle first. Hange was hers first.
You set the drink down quite loudly as if the sound would scare your thoughts away. You tried to depart from your seat but decided against it. However, you knew you were bound to converse with people eventually. Otherwise, you wouldn't have found yourself facing Pieck at one point in the evening.
"You look beautiful, Y/N," she praised you. You only gave her a soft smile in return even if your mind protested and desperately wished she hadn't said a thing.
-
The terrible dam you tried your best to keep broke within a nudge, like wounds stitched healed being delicately sliced open once more. You've doubted yourself enough the moment Hange slipped that ring on your finger. It felt like a hasty marriage, an opportunity for things to go awry from one simple mistake. You never thought you deserved to be a part of this marriage but you shoved the many possible hindrances at the back of your head when you happily agreed to it.
And even if you think that you never deserved Hange's love, you vowed to spend more than half of your life trying to deserve it. If that's how it should be, then so be it.
In selfish terms, it had to be you. You had to be the one they chose to keep their heart. Their choice was very evident with the ring on your finger and yet... you couldn't help but trace back to the love they shared with Pieck more than a year ago. Haven't they lasted a few years together before breaking up?
Such love couldn't rot in over a year, such deep roots couldn't be unearthed by a new love shared just because you came.
The box was there for a reason. Hange could never throw out their memories, no. Not entirely.
This is one of the things your mind could understand but your heart wouldn't.
Hange didn't like how silent you were on the ride back home, always looking out the window and never facing them. Your silence and the heaviness within disturbed them, but Hange sensed your fragility in those minutes. That perhaps touching you would shatter you into a million pieces.
You excused yourself to the bathroom as soon as you stepped out of the vehicle, the hair on your face getting disheveled by the second. Your anger within had no place but yourself. You couldn't be angry with Pieck when she's been kind the whole time, and you couldn't find yourself angrily accusing Hange of purposely making you style your hair like their ex-lover would when you were never sure if they did.
Before you knew it, your hands found the scissors lying near the sink. Your hands snipped away the hair framing your face, silent tears pouring out of your eyes as your gaze fell down the uneven clippings and severed petals littered across the sink.
The clippings felt like a sinister offering traded for peace. Maybe cutting it off was the only way to get rid of the image prompting those terrible thoughts. 
She looks perfectly elegant, jeweled simply, and you're a woman with no rank in the military and flowers tucked in her hair. Pathetic.
Your fists clenched the sink once again, struggling to pull yourself from the deep pit being created beneath your feet. Vines seemed to grow below the ground, pulling and ushering you in wicked silence to give in. Give in.
“Y/N.”
You partly registered how the door opened and how Hange’s arm wrapped around you in protection, the phantom vines dying right at their touch. Hange held you as they knew it was the only way to keep you from falling apart. You were a dejected being, a mess of some kind in the mirror. All of a sudden, your hair doesn’t seem to be that soft or your dress to be that pretty. You sobbed on Hange’s chest, burying your face in their coat the way you did yesterday at their proposal.
Hange ran a finger on your hair trimmed haphazardly, brushing away the rest of the flowers strangled by the strands. 
“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Their eyes fell on the clippings on the floor, and the abandoned scissors on the sink. “Why did you do this?”
I don’t want to feel like a replacement anymore, you wanted to sob out. I don’t want you to remember her when you look at me. 
“Do you want to marry me to forget her?” The question slipped from your mouth even before you could stop yourself. 
“What…?” Hange muttered, the realization only beginning to sink in when they ran a hand through your hair, provoking a sense of familiarity. Hange understood by now who you meant.
“It’s just that… I’m having my doubts, Hange,” you said slowly, trying not to break into a pitiful voice. “Our marriage, and the box you kept under the bed… I know I sound ridiculous but… I want to hear it from you.”
Your eyes finally dared to meet theirs as you spoke, “Why do you even want to marry me?”
It was Hange’s turn to trace back into a phantom calendar in their head. It has been several months since you went out together and for half of those months, Hange has always intended to give that ring to you. Always in their pocket even a month before they went for the trip, waiting for the right opportunity until it presented itself yesterday. Hange feared your rejection. After all, it has only been months but… Hange have their own reasons.
Hange began to stroke your hair, slipping their fingers now and then to smooth out the tangles as they spoke.
“I thought maybe we still got to spend a few more months, hell, even years to know each other but... Y/N, you know I'm getting older, and time, well... time has been getting rougher. It was never kind to me... to us. I barely see you when work demands it. And I... I didn't even expect you would be happy to marry me.” A soft smile etched their lips at the memory of yesterday that brought relief in their heart.
"Y/N, it would break my heart if you misunderstood my intentions so let me clear it up this time. I'm not marrying you to get over Pieck or to secure a marriage so you won't leave me... It's just... I've never been so sure about anything in my life but this... "
Hange pressed a kiss on your forehead, their own tears teetering at the edge of their eye.
"I don't know what the future holds for me. And part of me doesn't even want to know because it terrifies me sometimes.
"We live in such a dangerous world. From my line of work, it's easy to anger people and have them take me out instead of resorting to peace. You see, Y/N... I just want to make sure... Make sure that I did something from my heart. Something I would never regret. "
A smile lifted in their lips despite their tears, and inner sorrow by the reality you both live in. You wanted to curse yourself for thinking that you both have all the time in the world. It was a wishful dream that only hurt you in the end. Your chest throbbed from the strained sobs erupting within you but Hange managed to calm you little by little by rubbing your back.
"People think that I understand things enough to have everything under control but I'm... I'm also full of uncertainties. I don't even know if half of the decisions I've made in my life were right,” they continued.
Hange circled a thumb over your hand, the other grazing the beading tears in your cheeks.
"So I'm giving myself this chance to act upon one thing I'm certain about." Hange's lips met your forehead once more, the tears from their cheek brushing against yours as they held you tight. "And that decision is marrying you, Y/N..."
You wanted to thank them for many things, for driving away all the worries nestled in your heart, for being someone to cry on, and for all the trust they placed on you the moment they vowed their heart and life to you. 
"I love you, Hange…” 
I’m sorry.
They chuckled, a soft one coming from their chest as they kept holding you. It amused them that a month ago, they would only hear your i love you's in their head as they read them from the letters you exchanged with each other. It always sounded better coming from your mouth.
"I love you too, Y/N,” Hange smiled. “From that day I saw a few daisies tucked in your hair, I knew I'd give you a ring someday..."
"But that's our first date, isn't it?" you asked.
"Oh, I know," they laughed softly. "I remember that day like a photograph."
Often, living in a cruel world seemed like a life carved out of pain and infinite regrets, brought by never-ending doubts born from such a distrustful world. But with Hange’s every touch, and every word laced with love, the dreadful pit making a home through the atrocities within yourself gradually vanished, smothered by the affection Hange gives.
You sat by the garden where the heliotropes Hange knew you loved grew. They carefully trim your uneven hair the way one trims a plant during growing seasons. Your kiss of gratitude brought a smile to their lips as they ran a hand over your hair once more. They think of you whenever blossoming heliotropes face the sun.
“You’re beautiful, Y/N.”
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m-jelly · 1 month
Note
hello :)) hope you're having a good day! I wanted to request a modern au of Hange x female reader, friends to lovers, maybe a drunk confession? and if it's okay, a spicy ending. thankss
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It was only a kiss
Hange x fem!reader
Modern AU, fem x fem, friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, kissing, confessions, slight smut, touching, becoming a couple.
While you and Hange are at a beach cabin party, you decide to go to a quiet spot and chat. While talking, the two of you get cosy, kiss, confess, and touch each other.
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The music was loud and the base had been turned up high. Lights flashed as people danced against each other and alcohol spilt all over the place. With a bottle in your hand of a mixed drink you'd made, you grabbed your best friend's hand and ran out of the house, past the pool and to the beach where it was quieter.
Hange stumbled as soon as her heels reached the sand. "Hey, buttercup, what's up?"
You huffed a bit. "Just so loud in there, I needed to get out." There was a reason behind your choice, mainly your feelings for Hange. "I was thinking we'd get a nice quiet spot." It was Mike's party and you were sure he wouldn't mind you dipping so you could confess. "What do you think?"
Her beautiful brown eyes looked around, her long lashes fluttering as she thought for a moment. A slight thought bubbled away in her head, she knew this was a great opportunity you were creating. "Yeah, let's go!" She gave your hand a gentle squeeze and was ready to take it further. "How about the beach house?"
You held up a key, something you'd borrowed from Mike two days ago but hadn't had the balls to take Hange there alone yet. "Great minds think alike."
A gentle hum came from Hange, she was excited at the thought of getting you alone and it helped she'd had a bit of liquid courage as well. "Fantastic." A smile graced her lips as she held your hand and walked with you to the beach house. "Nice night, huh?"
You hummed in response as your mind raced. The closer you got to the beach house the more nervous you were becoming. Normally you were so smooth and confident, but the thought of possibly being rejected by your best friend gripped your heart. "It's lovely."
Hange thought she'd press a bit. "We should go on holiday together, a nice beach holiday."
"That'd be perfect." You pushed the keys into the lock and shook a little. "We could go somewhere that lets us relax as well as learn a few things."
Hange ran her hand up your back, she tried to make it as affectionate as possible. "I love learning with you."
You pushed the door open and stumbled inside. "Me too." You turned to her. "You always make things exciting."
She closed the door behind her and felt a tingle go through her, you were incredibly beautiful to her. "I feel the same way about you."
You reached over to her, grabbed a fist full of her shirt and dragged her towards you as you walked backwards. "Hange?"
Her cheeks flushed red. "Yes?"
Your back bumped into a wall in the living room as you smiled up at your tall friend. "You have such pretty eyes."
"Thank you, yours are wonderful too." Hange looked down at her shirt. "You have a strong grip."
You gripped your bottle. "I'm in love with you."
She locked eyes with you as she dropped her bottle. "Sorry?"
"I'm in love with you." You released a long sigh and dropped your bottle. "I want to kiss you right now."
Hange leaned down and paused a moment. "I've been dying to kiss you for a while."
You tangled your fingers in her hair and kissed her passionately. You moaned as she gripped you tightly and yanked you against her body. The two of you moved your tongues together as you stumbled through the beach house together towards the bed. As you moved, you turned the two of you and pushed Hange onto the bed as you kissed her.
Hange panted when you released her lips. "I love you too." She moaned your name. "I've loved you for so long."
You straddled her and smiled. "Me too. I'm glad you feel the same."
She nodded. "Always."
You reached down and slowly unbuttoned her shirt. "Can I?"
Hange was excited beyond belief. "Yes."
You opened her shirt and admired her small breasts, she rarely wore a bra and you were a little envious because you always had to. You massaged her breasts and marvelled at her soft small peaks. "You are incredible."
She shivered under your touch as she softly moaned your name. "Your touch is perfect."
You leaned down and took a nipple into your mouth. You closed your eyes and sucked as your tongue moved over her sensitive skin. You opened your eyes and looked up at Hange. As your tongue moved against her your thumb flicked her other nipple. Her skin tasted so sweet from her body butter, she was just delicious to you.
Hange reached down and tangled her fingers in your hair. She softly called your name as her heart longed for you. "Come here."
You kissed up her body to her lips. "Mm, yes?"
She kissed you and mewled against your lips. "I want more kisses."
You smiled a little. "Who knew my girlfriend was a bit needy."
Hange caressed your cheek. "I just want your attention."
You ran your hand down her body and lightly touched the skin right above her underwear. "I'm all yours, darling." You pushed your hand into her trousers and ran your fingers up and down her wet panties. "Damn Hange, you been thinking dirty thoughts about me?"
"I have thought about having you sit on my face."
You hummed a laugh. "Mm, that does sound fun." You dragged your fingers up and then pushed down into her panties. "But for now I want to make you cum. I've thought about this so much."
Hange panted and mewled in delight as you ran your fingers up and down her wet lips. "Fuck."
You kissed her cheek and neck a little. You bit her neck and sucked hard as you started playing with her plump clit. You smiled against her neck when her moans vibrated against your lips, she sounded so delicious and perfect to you. You kissed along her jawline before capturing her lips and kissing her passionately.
Hange rolled her hips against your touch and felt a beautiful burning pleasure inside her, your touch was a dream. She gazed at you through her hooded eyes and only thought of one thing. "Let me touch you."
You shifted your body and parted your legs for her. "I'm all yours."
She pushed her hand under your skirt and into your panties and felt how aroused you were by her. She moved her fingers against you and felt pride in her when you moaned into the kiss and started rocking your hips. She pulled from your lips. "I want to fuck you with a strap-on."
You chuckled. "Not before me. Your delicious pussy is mine."
She shivered. "You're a feisty one."
You bit her lip. "That's why you love me, right?"
"Yes." She arched her back. "Fuck, I'm close. Are you?"
You placed your hand on hers and guided her. "Right there and a little faster." The pleasure in you increased. "That's it, just like that." You purred at her. "Hange."
Hange kissed you. "My name sounds good on your lips." She bucked against you. "A-Ah." She hummed in delight, clamped her legs and moaned your name as she came hard.
You smiled at her. "I think my name is better on your lips."
Hange threw her head back. "F-Fuck." She moaned as you kept moving your fingers against her. "Y-You."
You gasped as you felt a pop in you and pleasure burn through you. "Mm, shit Hange." You tapped your forehead against the bed as you shivered at your orgasm rushing through you. You dragged your fingers from her and rested your hand on her pelvis. "You're perfect."
Hange dragged her hand from you and sighed. "You too." She turned her head and gazed at you. "I still want to eat your pussy."
You laughed. "Give me a few moments and I'm all yours."
Hange giggled. "I love you."
You wrapped your arms around her and grabbed her wonderful and plump bum. You dragged her against you so your pelves were pressed. "I love you."
She smiled at you as she played with your hair. "You're so perfect."
"Thank you, you're a dream."
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hangeslovers-world · 1 year
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Babe not again…
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A/n- yes this is just hange and you watching the Lego movies…this is @hangespublicist fault but it’s also just the cutest sweetest idea so here…
Warning! Hange being a loser.
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Figures are layed out upon your glass coffee table as you sit next to your ecstatic girlfriend “I love you so much” they smile so hard you honestly can’t be made you lost rock paper scissors for the movie night what you can’t understand is why your girlfriend decided to bring out six different Lego men “listen so this right this is Emmett!”
Hange says happily comfortably sitting next to you as you lay upon hange’s lap the movie finally starts…you’re about 20 minutes in and hange has paused every ten seconds to explain something “how do you feel about-“ You quickly stop their rant with a kiss smiling back at them “we can watch you stop talking k?”
You smile giggle looking at hange’s face which seems to be on cloud nine from the kiss with the worlds goofiest smiles “y-yea babe ok ok” hange shakes her head repeatedly happily a slight pink tint covering their face as finally the movie starts back up again you lay against hange’s chest listening to their heart race their smile their heart beat even their breath is just the most adorable thing “hello??? Are you even watching the movie?”
Hange slightly raises their brow for a nerd they really can’t pick up signs you think as you sighs and smile “yea hange let’s keep watching!” Hanges face lights up a kiss on the forehead as hange starts the movie back up!
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(I’m just sooo obsessed with hange guys!!!)
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cousinconnie · 2 years
Note
Y/N wanted a pet, what would the aot casts adopt?
OKAY BUT I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS—
What pets would the AOT characters get with you:
Eren:
Okay so actually I don’t think that Eren would like the idea of pets!
Putting a free animal in a “cage” (even if that cage is just your house), collaring it, only feeding it a certain type of food, it all rubs him the wrong way.
I think the closest he would get to being okay with a pet would be having an indoor/outdoor cat. Having a little cat door so it could come and go as it pleased, and it can go hunting for its own food if it doesn’t want its cat food you buy. Treating the kitty more like a roommate/friend than a pet! I also think he would name it something stereotypical like “Tiger”
Mikasa:
Hear me out: fish.
I think she’d LOVE having a little aquarium!! Going out and picking each fish with you, naming them with you, decorating the tank with you,,,, she’d LOVE it omg
Would call you in the middle of the day sometimes like “so the clownfish are NOT getting along 😣” sends you videos of the fish swimming around, loves just watching them. You two like coming up with little personalities and making up fish tank drama. The 104th LOVE hearing out it lmao. She’d INSIST on you being the one to name them because she says she isn’t creative 🙁
Armin:
I think he’d be cool with any pet you wanted, but if you asked him what pet he wants, I think he might enjoy having a bunny! He likes cute things!!
+ I used to have this really cute bunny, but he was like absurdly grumpy all the time. So imagining Armin with this grumpy little bunny is SO funny
Just him being like, “um yeah, you can hold it. But he does bite sometimes. And kick. No, he doesn’t stop glaring 😥”
He would probably name it after a book character or a famous philosopher!
Sasha:
She’s a hamster girl. She LOVES watching it fill its little cheeks up with food. If she had to be any animal in the whole world she’d be a hamster.
She finds the BEST toys and wheels for it, has a whole dedicated hamster room in your house 😅 lowkey might become a hamster tiktoker. Be prepared for her to call you in a panic every time she thinks something is wrong though
“YOU NEED TO COME HOME, I DONT KNOW IF HAMMY IS DEAD OR HIBERNATING AND IM GOING TO HAVE A BREAKDOWN!!!!”
Jean:
Okay I think Jean is the dad stereotype where he acts like he hates the pet and doesn’t want it but then like a week later he is obsessed with it,,,
So imagine: you tell Jean that you kind of want to expand your little family by getting a pet, and he says no, that he’s uncomfortable with the amount of responsibility having a pet requires. You respect him obviously, even if you’re disappointed.
Then one day it’s raining really heavily and he hasn’t come home from work yet, so you start getting worried. But then he walks in the door soaking wet, clutching something to his chest. He leans foreword showing you that it’s a little dog-
“I think it got hit by a car”
So the two of you nurse it back to heath together, and you take it to the vet to see if it has an owner, it does but they don’t want it. So now you and Jean have a little dog.
The dog loves you obviously,, but it LOVES Jean, you think it must realize that he saved its life 🥺
Jean acts like he doesn’t like the clinginess of the dog at first,, but give it like a week and the two will literally be inseparable 😭
Connie:
Okay you already know he’s a dog guy.
He wants a big dog he can run around with and play. A dog that will match his energy,, but is also good with kids because he definitely wants kids one day. So like a Golden Retriever or a German Shepherd!!
I don’t even think that you have to bring up wanting a pet, I think he would bring it to you first 😭
And MAN does he love that dog 🥺 they go on runs every day, and he can literally spend hours playing fetch with him and teaching him tricks
(Buys himself a “dog dad” t-shirt 🗿)
Historia:
Okay so hear me out, I think she’d get a Gecko.
You tell her you want to get a pet and she is like “oh, that’s a great idea!!” So you guys go to a shelter with every intention of getting somthing fluffy, but she just so happens to see someone surrendering their Leopard Gecko. It was really small, looked kinda sick, and the tail had fallen off. Like it was very much not doing good. And she had to take it.
You guys some home with it (and with medicine from the vet) and she’s immediately googling Leopard Geckos. In like a few hours she’s an expert, and knows exactly what supplies she needs.
She nurses it back to heath almost all by herself with little help from you (even though you wanted to help, she wanted to save the gecko herself). When the tail started growing back she SOBBED in your arms.
Hange:
They totally like snakes right?? Like I can see them collecting the shed skins and putting them in resin. I also think they’d like ferrets!!!! Just curious little guys who have a ton of energy?? They would def have snakes and ferrets‼️‼️‼️‼️ If you guys get ferrets though Levi refuses to be in the same room as them because ferrets are stinky lmao
Levi:
He’s a cat guy 💯 at first he wouldn’t want a pet because animals are dirty but he’ll eventually come around to the idea. Cats clean themselves and they don’t need too much attention and are independent, so I think he’d respect them. If you see him up in the early morning drinking tea and petting the cat, he’ll deny it 🫢
If anyone wants more of this lemme know 😤❤️
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ponderingmoonlight · 8 months
Text
Levi being separated from his wife for years after joining the scouts but finding his way back to her
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Pairing: husband!Levi x fem!reader
Word Count: 2,7k
Synopsis: Just before Erwin was about to catch you in the underground city, Levi begs you to stay behind and promises to return. Years pass, years in which he never reached out once. Until an unexptected visitor knocks on your door.
Warnings: heavy angst to comfort, the last part is not proofread so have mercy, please let me know what you think as this is the second aot fanfic I'm posting <3
Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation
Click here for a cute little spin off
You move with almost frightening speed around the countless buildings, escaping the hands of the blonde male behind you by razor’s edge. Why the hell are the survey corps so much stronger than the military police? So skilled with the 3D manoeuvre gear that it’s almost scary, haunting after you so fast that it’s getting harder and harder to escape their grasps. But everything is going according to plan, right? You need to get yourself caught, you need to join the survey crops, you-
“Move to the left. Just keep going and don’t look back. You are skilled enough to escape them alone.”
Your glossy eyes dart towards your husband in disbelief. No, he can’t be serious about what he just said. That would mean…
“But we’ll get separated”, you argue.
Levi is fully aware of what he’s asking from you. But given the neck-breaking speed and the skills of the people behind you, the risk of getting caught is greater than the benefit of staying together. And that man…Even though he promised you the world, Levi could tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t trustworthy. He might go to hell, he might die in the process, but you.
There is absolutely no way in hell he’ll risk your life.
At least you’d be safe, even if it means he’ll be away from you for some time.  
“I never intended on taking you with me, (y/n). If we’ll get separated, I will come and find you here. I promise.”
His words don’t make any sense while you shake your head in mistrust. But you agreed on going together, all four of you. Why would you stay behind, why would he even suggest something like that?
“(y/n), I don’t want to lose you because of a mission. Please, move left.”
You don’t know what to do, mind completely clouded by anger, fear and uncertainty. You would trust your husband with everything, laying your life right into his hands. But this? This means you might never see again, this means he’ll leave you here for who knows how long, this means your husband could lose his life for freedom.
“But what if I lose you?”
“You will never lose me. I promise I’ll come back to you, just trust me with this one. I love you, (y/n).”
You take a deep breath, the next intersection coming closer and closer. It’s time to make a decision.
Will you move left like Levi begged you to or will you move right and followi him like you initially planned?  
With a load of gas you propel yourself past a building, moving with horrendous speed down the tight side streets of the underground.
One last glance. One last glance into the eyes of the man who is the only light in your life, one last glance into the cold blue eyes of the man who is now chasing after him.
“You better come back to me, Levi Ackerman”, you mutter to yourself while holding back bitter tears.
-a few years later-
“Take it or leave it. I will find someone else who’ll buy it.”
“Are you up on sale too?”
That’s enough. With a swift motion, you pierce through the man’s dirty hand with your knife before turning around and leaving his house in company of his pathetic screams.
It’s been years. Years since Levi go taken away from you by that blonde man with blue eyes, years since he promised that he’ll come back.
But he never did. With fast and skilled motions, you swing around, making your way back home before the military police starts getting on your nerves again.
Everything seems so cold since he left. Your worn-down house, the bed you used to share, your whole fucking life. Who knows what happened after they got caught. Are all of them still alive? Maybe something went wrong, maybe they die-
No. You shake your head vehemently. This is simply not possible. Levi Ackerman would never die through the hands of a titan, let alone a member of the survey corps. That’s absolutely impossible, unbelievable to say the least. Maybe he started a new life on the surface with his friends, lying under the sun right now while eating the most exquisite food.
Good for him. If you weren’t still stuck in this hell.
A few harsh knocks on the door rip you out of your dreams.
“Who the hell is this?”, you grumble to yourself.
You don’t expect any visitors today. To be exact, you never expected anyone to visit you. So who could this be? The man you threatened before? The military police officers you stole from? Whatever, you will figure it out somehow.
But when you open the door, you aren’t greeted by the face of a disgusting officer. No, you stare right into ice-blue eyes.
“When will you finally let me get her?”
He missed you every single day since you parted your way back then in the underground city. How are you? What are you doing? Are you even alive? Levi’s hands clenched into fist just by the thought of it. Countless lonely night that felt so empty without you by his side, countless people he lost during the process. If you knew what happened…
“Is a woman really that important to you? She must be someone really special if you’re still asking about her”, Erwin commented, staring at the captain sitting in front of him with eagle eyes.
Yes, he does remember you. The girl who took the left path back then, the only one him and his squad weren’t able to catch.
“She is my wife. If you don’t allow me to get her, I will quit my service”, Levi suddenly barked at his commander.
How unexpected. Even though Erwin could tell that you’ve meant something to him when he decided to leave you in the underground city, he never thought his relations to you would go that deep.
“Fine, if that’s what you wish I’ll go and escort her.”
“I will get her myself-“
“You have a job to do, remember? I will take Moblit with me, it shouldn’t take long, given she cooperates.”
Did he even have a choice? One look into Erwin’s face showed him more than urgent that this is nothing to be discussed. And even though he hates to admit it, somehow Erwin is right. These brats were unpredictable, along with Hange.
“Fine”, Levi finally grumbled.
As long as you’ll finally be back in his arms, he won’t complain.
“You”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
Your whole body begins to tremble in thick rage, eyes darting right through his spoiled soul. His eyes haunted you in your dreams, how he talked to your husband back then, how they pushed his gorgeous face into the dirt. You will never forgive him. No, nothing in the world could make you forgive the blonde man in front of you who stole your life away from you so cruel.
“Where is Levi?”
“Maybe if you calm down-“
“SHUT UP”, you immediately interrupt the other man behind him.
“You will pay for all these fucking years I had to live without him. You will pay for every sleepless night, for every tear that I cried. You will pay with your own pathetic life!”
With a swift motion, you lower the knife out of your sleeve, ready to hit his carotid artery with full force.
Until you suddenly fall to the ground, the last thing you are able to see being this asshole’s boots before everything turns black…
“I…hate…y-“
Silence, darkness, nothingness.
“You didn’t have to hit her this hard. Levi will definitely make you pay for punching his wife”, Erwin comments dryly before gently lifting your numb body over his shoulder.
“His wife, huh? No wonder she’s so feisty, what a pain in the ass”, Moblit remarks.
“I understand her anger. After all, I hid her husband for multiple years from her. Let’s see how she acts when she wakes up…”
-back at the base camp-
“Who’s this woman?”, Eren mumbles into his best friend’s ear, staring at the lifeless female body laying in front of Erwin’s feet.
“They just came back with her. But nobody seems to know who she is”, Armin clarifies.
Everything hurts. Your back, your head, your limbs feel like falling off every second. You feel like hit by a horse…Did the military police catch you? Did someone come for you? Impossible…
You rub your head, lids blinking against the harsh light. Where the hell are you? And why is it so damn bright here? This definitely isn’t the candle in the middle of your bedroom.
You lift your trembling limbs off the ground, groaning when a new wave of nausea rolls over you. God, why do you feel so bad? You can’t even remember what happened last. You were at the underground, you made a deal with that asshole, you returned home, it knocked.
It knocked.
Your eyes widen in pure horror when his face lights up in your head. He. He was there. The man who stole your life from you, the man who took your husband with him.
“I’m glad you’re awake, he should return every minute-“
“You.”
Your eyes roam around without an aim until his cold blue eyes meet yours.
“You took everything from me!” you scream on top of your lungs.
The air around you heats up immediately, all the voices quieting down in an instant when your trembling index finger darts towards commander Erwin Smith.
“You took my life from me, you stole my husband and now you kidnap me! I’ve had enough, you’ll pay for all your sins, for how miserable you made my life! Do you know how many lonely nights I begged for him to return, that I even started praying for him to come back home to me? You promised freedom but caged me to the underground in my hopeless dream of him returning someday!”
Again, you shoot towards him with your knife in your hand. Fuck, you hate the way hot tears start to sting in your eyes and take your sight, but you can’t help yourself. This man in front of you is the epitome of living hell, the reason you suffered all these goddamn years. You aim for his neck, ready to slice him open like a fish along with a toe-curling scream that escapes your trembling lips.
“Don’t.”
The sheer force of a pair of fingers wrapped around your wrist is enough to make you stop. This almost sounded like…
“Levi.”
“I have to explain all this to you calmly. Please put down your knife, (y/n).”
“You have some fucking nerve”, you mutter under your breath, eyes darting towards him for the first time in years.
He looks just like you remember him, figure roaming over you for a few inches, eyes as calm as the ocean, hair neatly trimmed. Yes, he is just as attractive as you remembered.
And alive.
And this is the first time you see him, after so many years.
“Where have you been all this time, huh?”, you cry out.
You free yourself out of his grasp, now storming towards him.
“What about the promise you made back then, that you’ll return to me?”
Your hands push against his firm chest harshly, fists slamming over and over against his tight muscles while all he does is standing there.
“You left me without saying goodbye, without even thinking about me twice. Do you know how much I cried that day, how much I missed my fucking husband?”
Tears stream down your face like a waterfall, voice so hoarse that it’s hard to cough out a single word that makes sense.
“Why didn’t you come back? Why did you leave me in the dark? Why-“
He can’t hold back any longer. Before you continue your ramblings, before you are able to hit him again, Levi wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed the simplicity of holding his wife in his arms.
“I love you, (y/n)”, he breathes against your ear.
You see stars, feel like fainting, want to push him away while all you want is to be held at the same time. Countless nights you imagined what it would be like to meet him again, countless nights you pondered about his life, where he might live, what he is doing.
And now he’s standing in front of you, pressing you tightly against his firm body while all you can do is break down and cry in his inviting arms.
“Back then, I have asked you to move left because I feared what lies behind the walls. And I was right, (y/n). The things I saw, the countless lives the titans took. Isabel and Furan, they… They died on our first expedition. It wasn’t safe to drag you into this world. Even if I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms again, I figured it would be easier to know you live as far away from the titans and me than being in danger…”
“You idiot”, you spit into the face you learned to love long ago.
“I would rather die by your side than live alone at the safest place. Don’t you understand that all I wanted was to be with you?”
Your words echo through his mind, the past years replaying themselves in front of his eyes like a movie. It’s been so damn long. He should have asked about getting you sooner, he should have moved hell and earth to get you out of the underground.
“I’m sorry about all those years, (y/n). You were the only thing on my mind this whole time, I was longing for your touch, for your presence. I wrote a list of things I want to show you. I know how much I’m asking for, but please forgive me, please be by my side right here and now.”
Is it really this simple? Is one look in his lovely face enough to forget all those years you’ve waited for him? Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage, all pairs of eyes seem to be set on you. What are you supposed to do?
“A simple sorry won’t take away all those years I’ve waited for you.”
Levi swallows hard, this usual cool composure slowly but surely breaking away. Fuck, he messed up. He should have gone after you immediately, he should have ignored Erwin’s advice. If you leave him right here on the spot…His eyes widen in thick fear. No, this would completely tear him apart. After all, you are his precious wife, the love of his life, the only reason he kept going despite all the people that died in front of his eyes.
“But I won’t live in the past with regrets. I was hoping forward for this day so long, let’s enjoy it.”
And then you return his hug, wrapping your arms around his ribcage like you used to. Levi lets himself fall into your touch, soaks in the decent smell of citrons on your clothes. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed you.
“We will never return to the underground, my darling. Your place is right here under the sun.”
You press your lips against his hungrily, soaking up this precious moment. This is exactly how you imagined your reunion. Maybe a few years earlier, maybe being escorted by himself. But god, you can’t help but get lost against his mouth, your fingers re-discovering the valleys of his well-toned body.
“Huh, what’s going on here? HUH, DID I MISS SOMETHING!?”
Levi slowly removes his lips from yours, cold eyes staring darkly behind you. You follow his gaze, looking directly into the way too near face someone wearing glasses.
“This is my wife, shitty four-eyes. Can you stop bothering her?”
“WHAT? You never mentioned anything about a wife! Oh, what a gorgeous woman she is! And you’re just as small as Levi himself. Huh, maybe that’s what comes with living under the ground, right? But don’t worry, you will be just fine here! Apart from some titans here and there, and maybe titan shifters and don’t forget those-“
“Shut.Up.”, Levi hisses through gritted teeth.
3K notes · View notes
fruity-blogs · 8 months
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Sometimes I wonder if Levi giving out candies to the kids ever remind him of how Hanji greeted him, Isabel and Furlan to the Survey Corps.
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I WILL NEVER RECOVER.
733 notes · View notes
nightfall-kachiniko · 9 months
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Hange running past you, papers in hand as she yells out a quick “excuse me, pretty girl!” with a wink and a smile.
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rowenas-megacoven · 1 year
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“Don’t start sounding like him” - please don’t get sappy with me and make this harder than it already is but the last time someone I loved said this to me I had to order him to die and I’m not ready to lose you too
“Don’t ruin what I have going” - please don’t get sappy with me and make this harder than it already is but I’ve made up my mind and it can’t be changed, please let me go
“You understand, don’t you Levi?” - I’m sorry, can you forgive me?
“Devote your heart” - I forgive you. Go
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amenarlert · 5 months
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Barista Levi
Barista Levi would look adorable in his apron, it would accentuate his tiny waist. His sleeves would always be rolled up, and he would be oblivious to the fact the muscles in his forearms were distracting.
His eyes would light up when you order his favourite tea, and he would shift with hidden joy when you reveal that you take it the same way he does.
He would slowly get more comfortable with you, the more you come to the shop. One day, he surprised you when he asked how your day was going, then gave you a tiny smile as you recounted the events of your day to him. He would listen patiently, secretly enjoying every detail.
After a few weeks, you would enter the shop, and your tea would be ready, waiting for you; Levi holding it with anticipation shining in his eyes. His eyes would light up each time you walk through the door.
Barista Hange would tease him knowingly, every time you came in. They were a God damn menace.
One day, Hange would scribble down Levi’s number on a napkin and hand it to you; Levi would be red faced and stuttering.
“I’m going to murder you,” he would mutter to Hange, scowling.
You’d giggle, and he would tilt his head towards the sound, his heart pounding. His breath caught in his throat when he spotted your smile, he watched you laugh in awe.
“Thanks!” You’d chime, clutching the napkin close. You were blushing too, smiling widely, “I’ll call you.”
Levi watched you with wide eyes, lips parted in surprise. Still bright red, the corners of his lips would twitch into a smile, his eyes flickering away, “y-yeah… okay.”
Hange would laugh maniacally; Levi would punch them in the arm as you walked away. But secretly, he was grateful.
333 notes · View notes
marsbutterfly · 1 month
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The Princess and The Pauper
Summary: Your father has arranged for you to be wed to a prince in a nearby kingdom, but when you tell your beloved, the two of you plan to run away.
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a/n: hey everyone <3 I actually started writing this fic back in 2022 and just went back to it in March, I believe? anyway, this is by far the longest fic I have ever written, so please, enjoy <3
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: medieval au, fem!reader, non-binary!hanji zoe, NSFW, childhood friends to lovers, parental death (mother), secret relationship, mentions and description of disease, panic attacks, mentions of forced marriage, massive age gap (between reader and the man she is meant to marry/ reader's parents), blood, parental abuse, physical abuse, kissing, face-sitting, cunnilingus, fingering, scissoring, not really beta read, we ball.
small glossary: Libet - Lady-In-Waiting | Tegan - reader's cat| Elowen - reader's horse
 ao3 | wattpad | cover by: bbybluemochi on twt | wc: 24.1k
The warm spot on the window ledge had never seemed more comfortable. The sun had been shining right above it all day long, the music that came from the kingdom faded into the background and your cat purred by your feet. You knew in your heart that this was the perfect time of day to bring out a blanket and cuddle up against a pillow, a good book in your hands. These days, it was rare for you to have a moment all to yourself like this, and, deep down, you knew one way or another, your parents would interrupt your peace.
It was the third time you were reading this book, or trying to read it. The story of two lovers from different classes, brought apart by their parents and the stress that came with their titles, a story you knew all too well. You couldn’t help but sigh at the irony, of course, the book you chose had a similar story to the one you found yourself living at the current moment.
The rumors of your secret affair with the doctor’s child had been spreading like wildfire all across the kingdom, especially after a few of the night guards had caught you sneaking around late at night while trying to make it to your secret meeting spot. No matter how much you paid them to stay quiet, the word still got out somehow and you had yet to receive punishment for it.
The words on the book float around you in a silent dance as you lose focus, your thoughts traveling thousands of miles away towards the distant memories of the night before, when your beloved held you in their arms and read to you from their personal journal about remedies they had discovered, about the star constellations they had studied a week before, or just simply as they played with your hair while listening to your breathing in the cold night.
Before you can daydream much further than that, a bad feeling takes place in your stomach. Something in the atmosphere felt… wrong, though you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was. You quickly close your book and place it on top of the cushion next to you before gently nudging your cat away to give you the chance to stand up. Even though the pet cries softly, you apologize and offer it a small smile, followed by a quick scratch on the top of the head, that’s when you hear it in the distance.
The loud, carrying voices became closer by the second and you could hear loud footsteps against the marble floors. With a heavy sigh and a roll of your eyes, you begin to make your way toward the entrance to your bedroom, your hands going through your dress to destroy any wrinkles before finding a resting place crossed against your thighs. 
The doors swing open and they quickly collide with the wall. You close your eyes tightly for no more than a couple of seconds before regaining your composure, not a word escapes your lips before your father, a plump man with a large beard and gold chains that are hidden by all the facial hair, enters the room. His voice carries around the area, the excitement palpable in his words, “My darling daughter!”
“Father,” you say politely, lowering your knees a few inches while your head hangs from your neck. Once you bring yourself back up, you decide to flash him a gentle and warm smile, knowing damn well that it was nothing but a fake, something you and your family were more than used to, something to stop yourself from actually telling him every single bad word that has crossed your mind in the last twenty seconds, “It has been a while.”
The man waves his hands, silently asking the servants around to leave you be and they quickly do as they are told. Not a minute goes by and you find yourself trapped in his tight embrace, a warm sensation taking over your face as embarrassment settles in, he has always been a man of action rather than words. “How have you been?” He inquires, awkwardly attempting to make small talk. 
His hands fidget around for a few seconds, restlessly going from his beard to the diamonds around his fingers. The smell of cheap cologne mixed with whatever he has had for lunch overtakes the room, the crumbs still stuck to his beard and the small part of his hair-covered belly that pokes out from the far too small shirt are nearly enough to break through your facade and bring out the disgust on your face. But somehow, you power through.
“I have been doing alright,” you respond, placing your hands behind your back while fidgeting with your fingers, nearly pulling out your own nails in an attempt to ground yourself and keep yourself sane. He has never once asked you how you were doing without having another intention in mind, but you decide to play along regardless, “How was your recent trip to the Pephia Kingdom? I hear their knights have recently returned from a quest with a bigger amount of gold than they have ever seen, is that true?”
The man laughs, his breath hits your face and, as an instinct, you look away. Your eyes are closed shut for a second until you force yourself to stare at him again, his face red from the laughter. “Oh, so you have heard about it, yes? Good, that will make things easier.”
You can’t help but tilt your head, your eyebrows furrowing in response to his words as you continue to pick at the side of your nails, the area getting progressively more raw and inflamed, “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand.”
He clears his throat and takes a deep breath, his face becoming redder than before as his voice now takes a low turn, a more serious expression on his face, “It has come to my attention that you have been... Fraternizing with... A peasant?”
Your breathing seems to stop for a second, all the air is completely sucked out of your lungs and suddenly it feels like the room has started to spin. You weren’t sure what to do, should you lie and pretend that it was a made-up lie by the guards? But how could you know that the information came from the guards? Should you own up to it and beg for his forgiveness? No, you would never find yourself stooping to such a low level. Time seemed to be moving so fast and yet so slowly, the doubt clouding your judgment. Since you weren’t able to offer an answer, he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose while his eyes close.
“y/n, we have talked about this!” He says, his voice has a cold tone to it and it sends a terror-filled shiver down your spine, “You were told to stay away from the doctor’s child. They are nothing but trouble and the entire kingdom knows they are… you know… a bit insane. They are considered the lowest of the low.”
Your face snaps back to look at him, how dare he speak of the one you loved in such a despicable manner? You can feel your cheeks burning, a mixture of anger and embarrassment, while your jaw clutches into place. It’s painful but you don’t even seem to notice it for the time being. “They have been teaching me to become a healer, so I can be better prepared for when the day comes when I become the queen!”
The man sighs, his eyes now squinting as he tries to remain calm, “I was not born yesterday, y/n. I raised you and I know you better than anyone ever could.” Another lie, this man may be your father but he did not know anything about you. In his head, you were still the little star-eyed girl who would love to watch her parents working for the good of her kingdom, but that stopped being the case long ago.
You continue to pick at the skin of your finger, feeling as a trickle of blood now makes its way down and lands on your dress. Your eyes shift focus for a small second before you are forcefully brought back to the situation at hand when your father grabs your chin and your cheeks with his rough hand, the sharpness of his many rings leaving behind scratches on your skin as he looks directly into your eyes. Your breathing begins to tremble as his grip tightens, you want to push him away, but that would only make things worse.
After a few seconds like this, when he finally decides that you have been brought down to your place, he lets you go. Your knees hit the ground and not even the size of your dress was enough to prevent your skin from bruising, your face is numb and you look at him through the hair that covers your eyes, wiping the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand.
“Do not lie to me again,” he says, the “loving father figure” persona completely gone now and the real version of him shining through, “have you or have you not been… intimate with this filthy low life?” The disgust in his voice was palpable, his nose scrunching up at the simple thought that his daughter, the perfect princess who was raised with everything good and nice, could have been defiled by someone of a lower class.
“Yes,” you respond, trying hard to keep the tears that desperately want to flow down your face at bay.
The look on his face sends a wave of terror down your body, he clutches his teeth so intensely that it nearly seems like they are about to break, and his face is so red that anyone who walked into the room would assume he was having a heart attack or really bad indigestion. He clears his throat and adjusts his shirt, his hands clutching the fabric, the sound of his shoes against the marble floors filling your ears as he begins to pace around.
“During my visit to the Pephia Kingdom, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that King Pierre’s eldest son was in search of a bride,” he says, his fat fingers brushing against your books, leaving behind greasy marks on your precious and rare volumes, a part of your heart breaks for the once clean pages, but his voice echoes through the walls once more, demanding your attention, “and your name came up.”
“What?” You catch yourself responding, certainly, you misheard what he said and he wasn’t suggesting what you assumed he was? Your own father would not be as cruel as to punish you in such a manner, “Porter? He is… much older than me.”
A smile takes over the man’s features, “That is true, but I was also much older than your mother, and stepmother, and yet, here we are.”
“P-please, you can’t do this. I’ll behave, I’ll do anything!” You try to plead with him. No, this is much deeper than a simple plea, you are begging. Your body is trembling and the tears you tried so hard to keep hidden now shamelessly fall, there is nothing you want less than to be wed to a man twice your age, a man whom you have never met, not when your heart already belongs to someone else.
“Oh, but I can. I am the king and you will do as you are told!” He roars, his fist slams against the wall and it causes you to whimper and cower away in the corner of the room, “this marriage will finally end the war that has been going on for nearly a century. The war between the four kingdoms will come to an end and it will finally put my name as the rightful ruler of all men. You are my daughter, you were born to do your job as a woman.”
You want to scream, you want to beg some more but you know that there is no changing his mind. The thoughts go through your mind so quickly that you can barely keep up, the air in your lungs burns on the way in and on the way out, like there are small particles of glass all around you. “Please.”
“Accept your future, y/n, and I will spare the filthy peasant who dared sully my daughter.” His eyes shot daggers into your heart, the idea of losing them, the one person who you have loved your entire life, is nearly enough to kill you. So for them, maybe this once, you could do something useful. So you nod, your head hanging low as you wrap your arms around yourself, your once light-colored dress now covered in dirt. “Excellent, I will send a messenger over to Pephia and let them know the wedding will happen tomorrow, at dusk. You will be out of here and you will never see that... Freak again.”
The sound of his shoes leaving the room would usually fill you with a sense of hope, but this time, it only meant that you would soon meet your doom. There was no getting away from this, it was your duty as the crown princess to do what was best for your people and those around you, but... The idea of living without them? Without Hanji? It was a pain that could only be compared to the feeling of having your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on.
You can���t move your body, your face still burns from the mark of your father’s rings, your knees are scraped and covered in dirt and your hair is now a mess from being thrown around like a cheap and replaceable doll. You stay like that, wondering if this was your life now, just another pawn in your father’s sick game for power and control.
The stars start to show up in the sky, the lanterns in the kingdom taking over the once colorful streets and turning them into a dark shade of orange, covered by shadows that dance in pathetic rhythm. Once you are finally able to collect yourself off of the floor, you walk towards the balcony, your legs nearly failing you as you hold onto the walls for support, the tears won’t stop pouring from your eyes.
Your body drapes over your favorite spot on the window, the pillows are now freezing cold as the night air hits the fabric, your fingers gripping tightly onto it as you bury your face in the surface, a scream leaving your lungs. The desperation you feel in this moment can only be absolved by one thing, by the one person who could save you.
You reach under the window for the loose tile on the ground, hoping to find the box you have kept hidden for so long. You were careless once before, the people of the kingdom had found out about your most precious secret, but not anymore. From inside the compartment, you pull a black cloth, the smell of your beloved taking over your nostrils and filling you with a warm sense of security. With trembling hands you wrap it around the window ledge, your eyes finally noticing the armed guards that keep a close watch on your room, your father must know you have a plan.
The different colors of fabrics you hide in that box represent different things: yellow if you missed them, red if you wanted to meet at your usual spot, blue if you would not be able to see them that night, and so on, but the black one is the one color you never had to use before, it meant you were in danger. You prayed so hard that this moment would never come, that the worry on their face when Hanji handed it to you and you laughed quietly, saying it wasn’t necessary, wasn’t warranted but, once again, you were wrong.
The night was cold, a complete contrast with how sunny and warm your day had been up until that unfortunate visit. While a few tears still stream down your face, you decide to get yourself ready while waiting for Hanji to come, you know they won’t take long so you want to be ready, the sooner you can get out of this hellhole, the better.
Thinking of what you were actually going to take with you was a harder task than you’d ever imagined. There was nothing inside these empty palace walls that you would want to take with you, nothing that couldn’t be replaced. Only two things came to mind: the love letters Hanji had written to you throughout your relationship and the sapphire ring that belonged to your mother. The rest? Could easily be bought or traded or forgotten.
In a small bag gifted to you by a young peasant girl from a nearby village, you decide to pack the two essential items and a few more things, such as a small sewing kit, a small book where you have written down your knowledge about every herb and fruit you have ever come in contact with, a hairbrush and, of course, a bit of food that was bound to last the two of you a few days.
Your once beautiful dress is now covered in dirt and some blood, the sight is so disgusting that you can barely look at yourself. When you walk past the mirror and realize the pathetic state you find yourself in, a fit of rage takes over your body and you can’t help but follow your first instinct to throw a book at the surface, shards of glass exploding all over your room as you cover your face.
Your nails dig through the fabric of the outfit you are wearing, ripping it to shreds as you attempt to remove it as fast as possible. The grunts that come from deep within your chest represent the frustration you are feeling at that moment, nothing else could compare. The idea that you are being sold to a random kingdom… for loving someone? Fuck that.
You catch yourself staring into nothing, a thousand thoughts going through your mind and you can’t help but bite off your fingernails, waiting for your beloved to appear, for them to make their grand entrance through the passage you found hidden in your room years before, as a child. The idea that they wouldn’t come crosses your brain and you shake your head vigorously, pushing the thought so far deep that it won’t see the light of day again.
Not long after, you hear a faint knock coming from the secret door underneath your carpet. You can’t help but fly towards it, ripping the fabric off of the ground and throwing it across the room, immediately unlocking the heavy area. The moment Hanji comes into your field of vision, you notice the scratches on their face, the dirt on the palms of their hands, and the growing concern behind those whiskey-colored eyes, even the slight way in which their nose scrunches up when they try to catch their breath doesn’t go by unnoticed.
You have barely any time to react before their arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer. Your arms, in response, grow a mind of their own and immediately wrap around their neck, your face buried in the area as you try your best to muffle your desolate cries. With tears of their own, Hanji guides you backward towards the bed, where the two of you lay for a while, crying in each other’s embrace.
The room is filled with outside lights and the deafening sound of your sobs. Hanji’s grip on you never loosens as you dig your nails through their clothes, your heart has never called their name quite like this before, it’s almost as if you need them to survive, more than food, more than air. All you need is Hanji. After what feels like an eternity, they break the silence.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” Their voice exhales a fake sense of calm that is completely unmasked by the trembling of their arms. They are desperately trying to keep the tears in their eyes at bay, trying to find a way to control their breathing while waiting for a response. You can only nod. “It’s all over the kingdom. I heard from my father that they are sending you away tomorrow?” 
“I didn’t... I - I can’t…” You try to speak but the words simply won’t come out, they die in your throat before even being able to escape and all you can do is quietly gasp for air, clinging onto Hanji as tightly as you possibly can. Their fingers go through your hair, attempting to calm you down but it’s futile, especially when they feel themselves break down as well. Their lips press against the top of your head intensely as they pour all of their love for you into this one small action. “I can’t… live without you.”
“I know..” They respond after a few seconds, seemingly lost in thought, “Do you remember when we first met?”
You pause for a second, the clear memory of the day coming into your mind. It was a rainy day, the dark clouds in the sky making it seem a lot more hurtful than it already was. You couldn’t have been more than eight years old at the time, barely old enough to attend your first meeting between your father and his counselors as they talked about the plans and tactics for the war at hand, nothing they were saying made much sense to you but you sat there and listened regardless, as it was your duty as the royal princess.
In the middle of a very serious part of the conversation, one of your mother’s lady-in-waiting bursts through the door. You can still see the pure look of terror in her eyes, not sure if she was afraid of your father’s reaction to this rude interruption or because of the reasoning behind it. Her breathing is ragged and she tries to catch her breath, her voice trembles, “Your Majesty… the queen... She collapsed!”
The room falls silent and all eyes now rest on your father, analyzing his facial expressions as he stands up from his seat. “What happened?” He asks, calmly. Your poor heart is racing in your chest as you want to desperately run out of this room, to your mother’s side, but you know that if you do, there will be consequences. 
“We were on a walk and she simply collapsed onto the ground, I tried my best to catch her but…” She attempts to continue but your father raises a hand, her mouth immediately closing in response.
“Was the doctor called?” He asks. She nods.
“Yes, your Majesty.” The lady-in-waiting responds quickly. You notice that her hands are trembling and her breathing is still a bit out of control. When she notices your curious eyes, she straightens her back and places her hands in front of her body, trying her best to look as collected as possible. 
“Good,” the king says loudly. Finally, he looks at you, “Y/n, why don’t you go and check on your mother while I finish this meeting? You can report back to me with everything once you have found out what is going on. I will be counting on it, ok?”
A smile forms on your lips, the idea of pleasing your father was always the first one in your mind, with every movement being perfectly planned and calculated. You salute and respond with enthusiasm, “Yes, sir. I will do my very best!”
He offers you a smile as he ruffles your hair, tilting his head towards the door so you can calmly but quickly follow the person who would lead you to your mother. 
The walk towards your parents’ bedroom is long. You can’t even hear the echoing of your footsteps with the heavy rain that falls outside. Your little brain works overtime, trying to figure out what is going on with your mother and what could possibly have resulted in her injuring herself like this. “So.. what’s the doctor’s name?”
The woman next to you jumps slightly, a clear sign that your words startled her, though her footsteps never cease to move forward. She thinks for a second, “I’m not sure what his first name is, but the people of the village call him Dr. Zoe. He is from a small city called Gillamoor, which is hidden in the mountains of the Vatebia Kingdom. One day he simply showed up, saying he was looking for refuge from the war for him and his child, I believe they are about your age. People say that his wife passed away on the way here. So far, he has treated pretty much all of the Kingdom for Sheep Fever and casualties have gone down drastically.” She smiles at you softly, “I think that covers all of your questions?”
You can feel your cheeks heat up as the embarrassment takes over, you can’t help but avert her eyes as you nod. Until one final question pops into your mind, that is, “You said he has a child my age?”
She smiles widely again and nods, “Yes, their name is Hanji. They may be a year or so older than you but I still think the two of you would get along greatly. Both of them are on their way to take a look at your mother, so you know she’ll receive the best care all of us can offer.” 
Once you find yourself standing outside the doors to your mother’s chambers, reality strikes once more. You had been so caught up in the idea of having a friend, in the idea of having someone to show your books to and maybe even play with, that you completely forgot the dire situation you were now facing.
Your small, trembling hands knock on the door but have little to no effect. Your breathing is a bit unstable as the fear of what you might encounter on the other side of the wooden door might be, but quickly you pull yourself together, showing this amount of emotion was unfitting of a future queen. You knock again, with more confidence this time, and, in response, you can hear a familiar and welcoming voice inviting you in.
The door finally opens and your eyes go through the room, attempting to find your mother. It doesn’t take long for her weak figure to come into your field of vision: she’s laying on the bed, dark bags under her eyes and a weird contraption touching her chest. You want to run towards her, to hug your mother and cry into your arms, but instead, you simply walk towards her, holding your hands in front of your body tightly.
You barely notice the presence of other people in the room, the cold feeling in the pit of your stomach never ceases, no matter how much you try to force it to fade away. Finally, you find yourself standing by your mother’s side, she looks nothing like the strong woman you are so used to seeing.
The sound of a man clearing his throat fills the air and you are forced to acknowledge the presence of other people in the room besides your family. The doctor offers you a comforting smile, he isn’t someone you’ve met before. His brown eyes match the color of his nicely parted hair, a pair of glasses sitting on his nose as he places the contraption that was once pressed against your mother’s chest around his neck.
“Your Highness,” he bows towards you slightly and you can’t help but feel your cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I’m Dr. Zoe, I’ll be in charge of your mother’s care from here on out.” All you can do is nod, your fingers lacing with the ones of the woman who lays on the bed. You notice a small figure hiding behind the doctor’s coat, their fingers slowly pulling the man’s sleeve down, the gesture earns a heartfelt giggle from the man, “This is my child and prodigy. Why don’t you introduce yourself, sweetheart?”
Your heart stops beating for a second as soon as your eyes meet the other child’s. Their eyes are a deeper shade of brown than their father’s and their hair is in a messy ponytail, a complete opposite of the adult standing by them. They have a pair of glasses sitting on top of their nose and, when they speak, you notice they have a tooth missing, “I’m Hanji, Your Highness.” They repeat the man’s gesture and bow before you slightly, dropping a few papers in the process. When they notice the mess, they bend down to pick it up and your first instinct is to help them collect the pages. 
You proceed to reach for the last one, not noticing that the other child is about to do the same thing, and, for a split second, your hands touch. It’s a brand new feeling you have never experienced before, almost as if there are flying little creatures around your stomach. You are too young to understand what is going on but that was the moment your first, and only, crush took hold of your brain.
The two of you stare at each other for a few seconds, your eyes meeting as you hand them the loose page on the ground. You notice the reddish blush that spreads across their cheek and it sends your little heart ablaze, almost enough to stop your breathing. “H- here you go,” you say in a shy voice.
They nod and look away, quickly standing up and retaking their spot next to their father. You shake your head and decide to do the same, taking your mother’s hands in yours while she smiles lovingly at you, a part of you can tell she knows exactly how you feel about the doctor’s child and you can’t help but ignore her gaze in embarrassment, which in response earns a weak giggle.
“So… Do you have any idea of what might be wrong?” The lady-in-waiting that stands next to you asks and you realize you were so caught up in the moment that you nearly forgot the reason why you were here in the first place. The man on the other side of the bed adjusts his glasses, looking over the results of the tests he performed on the queen.
“Unfortunately, it does seem Her Majesty has come down with Sheep Fever, this case in particular seems quite severe and in its later stages. It must have been dormant for quite some time now,” the doctor places down his papers, his eyes now looking directly at you when he flashes you a gentle smile, “Are you familiar with the disease, Your Royal Highness?”
You look down at your feet, embarrassed of the response you are about to give. “No, sir,” is all you can say. You’ve heard about it, sure, from the maids, the chefs, every single person who comes by the throne room every day to speak with your father, but you had never actually seen a case up close. The man smiles at you once more before turning his attention towards his own child.
“Hanji, why don’t you enlighten the princess on the condition?” His child looks at him through their glasses, their dark brown eyes meeting you within a second of the doctor finishing the first half of his sentence, “Maybe it will give her some peace of mind and sound a bit less scary if it comes from someone her own age.”
The nine-year-old takes a few steps closer to you, the papers they hold and the side of their hands smudged by black ink, a bit also smudged on their nose and you can’t help but feel your small heart skip a beat. They stop just at arm's length, clearing their throat and straightening their back, clearly attempting to look and sound older and more mature than they actually are.
“Sheep Fever has been associated with the consumption of poorly prepared meat or the consumption of milk that came from an infected sheep. Considering that the chefs of the castle always prepare the food to perfection and the tasters haven’t gotten sick, I would assume the cause comes from the latter.” 
You pay close attention to their words, entranced by the way they sound so… grown-up and so smart, no wonder they were already taking after their father’s profession, it seems like they have a natural gift. You can’t help but feel your face heat up, looking down at the floor in an attempt to hide the embarrassment that appears in the way you scrunch your nose.
“Symptoms often include muscle weakness and leg swelling, both of which we found to be present in your mother, I mean, Her Majesty, at the time,” they correct themselves before taking a quick look at their father, hoping for approval. The man nods softly and the child in front of you continues their explanation, “Shortness of breath can also occur, and that was the reason why she collapsed during her walk today.”
“Is there… anything else?” You ask, making a mental note of all the information they are presenting you with so you can later report back to your father regarding your mother’s condition. You notice for a second as their eyes sparkle, almost as if… nobody had ever asked them that before.
“Actually, yes!” They respond with a bit too much excitement in their voice. Immediately, they correct themselves, “I mean, yes. Toe numbness and excessive yawning can also occur in more severe cases, such as the Queen’s. Father and I believe the swelling has traveled from her legs to other areas of her body since her fingers have also grown in size.”
For a second, they stop talking. You aren’t sure if they have simply finished their explanation or if they’ve noticed the tears that stream down your face. The once giddy expression on their face dissipates as they carefully place the stack of papers in their hands onto the ground, taking a few steps closer to you. You can’t look up at them anymore, so your eyes avert toward the stack of pages on the ground. You try your best to think about what to say in this scenario but nothing comes to mind, you are just a scared little girl after all.
When you look back up again, you are hit by the sudden pressure of a pair of small arms wrapping around you. You freeze in place, not knowing how exactly to react. Rushed footsteps try to reach you, someone telling the other child to pull away but all you can hear is their voice, a soothing tone ever so different from the overly excited one they presented earlier, “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but if anyone can help Her Majesty, it’s daddy. He learned from my grandparents, who were healers way before my parents were even born.”
You smile softly through the tears, “is that why you are learning?” You ask through the sniffles and they nod, the eager expression taking hold of their face one more time. They look so adorable that you can’t help but giggle once more.
“I want to be a great healer one day,” they respond, the blush that spread across their cheek now deepening as they avert your gaze, their fingers begin to fidget with a random strand of hair that falls on their face, “so if you are sick, I can take care of you… and I promise to save you, no matter what.”
You are finally brought back to reality after a trip down memory lane, your face snuggling close to Hanji’s chest as you are reminded of the situation you currently find yourself in. You nod in response to their question, “Yes… I remember the day we met…”
“I made you a promise,” they say, their voice barely louder than a whisper as their fingers ghost above the skin of your shoulder, “that I would save you, no matter what, didn’t I?” You nod in response once more, trying to understand where exactly they are going with this rant, not that you ever minded hearing them talk, it was definitely one of your favorite things in this world, the sound of their voice contained soothing properties that could only be compared to the lightest of teas. “Let’s run away.”
Your heart stops for a second and your breath gets caught in your throat. The idea crossed your mind and you had already packed a bag while you were at the peak of your rage, but to hear Hanji actually suggesting it… That was a completely different scenario. “A-are you sure? What about your father’s clinic?”
They shake their head, “ever since he passed, the only thing in this place that has felt like home has been the barn outside the mountains where we would meet. The moments I’ve held you in my arms like this have been more comforting to me than the memories I’ve had at that clinic. Besides, my father wanted to expand his knowledge further, to treat more people in other areas but… I asked him to stay here because… Well, because I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”
You can’t help but hide your face in the crook of their neck, snuggling your body as close to theirs as you possibly can. Hanji can’t help but allow a small giggle to escape their lips, feeling as your body trembles slightly beneath their touch, their grip on you tightening slightly and it is nearly enough to stop the air from flowing to your lungs. You don’t mind it.
“That’s so nice to hear,” you respond in a whispered voice, “my heart has been yours since our hands touched for a split second years ago. Even before I knew what romantic love was.” You prop your body up on the pillow, your hand resting underneath your chin as you stare into Hanji’s eyes, those adoring glasses shoot at you causing butterflies to flutter around in your stomach, “my heart beats for you and no one else.”
They smile smugly, attempting to hide the red tint that covers their entire face, they bring their face closer to yours, lips brushing against one another ever so gently, just barely enough for them to tickle each other. Hanji’s voice is quiet but their words hit you with the same effect as if they have just screamed at the top of their lungs, “Say you’ll run away with me.”
Your eyes flutter closed and you nod, it’s subtle and almost undetectable but Hanji is more than used to every tiny movement you make. Their lips finally press against yours, gentle at first, caring for you like you are a wounded animal, but it suddenly escalates into something much deeper. Their tongue traces the outline of your lower lip, silently begging for entrance and you quickly oblige, parting your mouth ever so slightly and the way they hum in response lets you know that you are doing something right.
Your tongue dances with theirs in a passionate tango, exploring the inside of each other’s mouth like it is the first time all over again. It’s a feeling you will never get tired of, the feeling of being this close to them, to the person who has been by your side in the hardest times, the person whose name is echoed with every beat of your heart.
Sadly, you are forced to pull away, cursing yourself for needing to breathe, a small string of saliva connecting your bodies and you can’t contain the smile that makes its way to your lips. Your fingers gently brush against their cheek, your foreheads touching for a while as you continue to enjoy this moment together.
“Yes…” You finally respond, your eyes still closed as you teasingly brush your lips against theirs again before pulling away, “I… I’ll run away with you.”
“I don’t know where we are going, but give me an hour to gather some things,” they whisper, slowly pulling away from you. You reach out, fingers brushing against the skin of their arm as they pull away, your lower lip trembling as a sense of panic takes over you, the fear that something will happen to them in the meantime taking over, “I promise I will be back for you, so be ready, ok?”
You nod, watching as Hanji blows you a kiss before disappearing through the small door underneath the carpet once more. The dark shadows of the night dance around your room, taunting you of the destiny you are bound to face if your father were to catch you.
Deciding that you can’t simply stand around and do nothing, you get up, reaching for the water jug that rests on the corner of the bedroom. With a bit of soap, you wash away the dried blood and dirt from your hands, watching as the water turns into a deep shade of maroon, the metallic smell entering your nostrils and you can’t help but turn your head away.
You change out of the destroyed dress, throwing it in another corner of the room. Your heart aches slightly, it was a dress your mother had chosen for you before she passed, something that reminded you of her and your father had, once again, taken that small sense of comfort away from you.
Your memories go towards the times when things weren’t so bad when your parents were still in love and happy with the blessing of finally having an heir after many, many years of trying. The times when you could still see light in his eyes when he looked at you and not the shell of a man who now was only interested in power and full control.
As the night progresses and the moon descends, a bottomless pit forms in your stomach, waiting for Hanji to return. Your small bag had been packed since earlier that day and you were wearing the least fancy outfit you owned, which was still extremely fashionable regardless, you knew there was a possibility that it would cause you to stand out, but that is a chance you would have to take.
Finally, when you feel as if your heart can no longer wait, you hear the sound of Hanji’s knock coming from the ground, a few tears of relief brew in your eyes as you move the carpet away, giving them the space needed to enter your room. They carry two small bags in their hands, one bigger than the other but still relatively petite. 
They immediately drop them onto the floor, freeing their arms so they could wrap around you. It takes very few seconds for your body to respond to their actions, your legs grow a mind of their own as you rush to their embrace, tears streaming down your cheeks as you nuzzle your face against Hanji’s chest, “what took you so long?” You ask, your voice trembling in a mixture of fear and relief.
“I’m sorry,” they responded quietly, their voice shaking as well, “I was gathering things from the clinic, such as a few samples of the herbs my father kept and the book my family kept on every condition we have ever treated. It took me a while to get out of the village, you know how much those women love to gossip,” they giggle quietly and you hum. The room falls silent for a moment as you enjoy the feeling of being in their arms, “I got you some of my older clothes, they might be a bit big on you but… I think it’s better than... Whatever you are trying to go for right now”
You gasp dramatically, playfully pushing their shoulders away and they chuckle, a sound that sends goosebumps down your spine and you can’t help but look at them with lovestruck eyes. The love in your heart emanates throughout your body and all you want to do is jump on their arms and stay intertwined with them forever.
“I tried my best, okay?” You respond, trying your hardest to make sure your voice doesn’t carry through the room. This is the first time all day that you have felt a genuine smile creeping onto your lips, even if you are rolling your eyes and pouting at Hanji the entire time, “I don’t have any less extravagant clothes.”
“I can tell,” Hanji muffles a laugh and you gasp again, your hands brushing against their chest as you land small and gentle hits on their skin. In response, Hanji wraps their arms around your waist, tightly pulling you into another hug while lifting you off the floor, and spinning you around. You try your best to contain your squeals of excitement, biting down on your lower lip as you do so. After a while, they finally place you back on the ground, brushing a strand of hair off of your face, “Go change, I’ll make sure no one is coming.”
You nod, rushing towards the partition wall that stands by the closet. Every small movement you make seems to be louder than the town crier’s voice at early dawn, but maybe it’s just the nervousness taking hold of your emotions. You try your best to remain calm, the plain thought that Hanji is in the room with you is enough to soothe your nerves more than any possible tea could.
They were right, their clothes are indeed a bit bigger and the fabric is not nearly as soft as what you are used to. There are a few holes here and there and the mysterious stains that cover most of the shirt remind you of the experiments Hanji used to do when you both were children, but there is a bright side: the scent of her skin has now been engraved on the clothes and, with every step you take, it feels like their arms are constantly wrapped around you.
Once you walk out from behind the fake, wooden wall, Hanji’s curious eyes fall on you and, even through the dim light from the candle, you can see a dark shade of red spreading across their cheeks when they fully take in the sight of you wearing their clothes. It sets their heart ablaze and they can barely focus on the challenges the two of you are about to face.
“You look beautiful,” they say, their voice is barely louder than a whisper and the timid way in which they look in a different direction doesn’t fail to get a heartfelt chuckle out of you, “are you ready?”
You take their hand, a deep sigh escaping your throat as you two prepare to get down through the secret door on the floor. Until someone knows on your door, that is.
At that moment, your heart stops beating. The fear that courses through your veins is too severe to express and you feel as though you are frozen in place, unable to move, breathe, or even blink. The palms of your hands begin to sweat and you feel yourself beginning to shake. Tears form in your eyes as you squeeze Hanji’s hand, the panic clearly written all over your facial expression.
They place their index finger in front of their lips, silently asking you to remain quiet. You struggle to fight back the sobs that form in the back of your throat, using your free hand to cover your mouth. The two of you stay perfectly still for a while, hoping that whoever is standing on the other side of the door will soon give up and walk away.
Another knock and you can feel your body beginning to sink to the ground with fear. It isn’t until the third knock that the person on the other side identifies themselves, “Your Highness, it’s me.” You would recognize that voice anywhere, your mother’s favorite lady-in-waiting, the one who was by your mother’s side in her last moments and who was also by your side when you and Hanji first met. There had never been any secrets between the two of you, but for some reason, you found yourself terrified of what she would do if she were to find out your plans.
You and Hanji begin to make your way towards the main door, fingers permanently laced together as you place your ear against the door, responding in a hushed though shaky voice, “Yes?”
“May I come in?” She asks, the tone of her voice is full of worry and care for you and it reminds you of your own mother. You look at your beloved for any signs of disapproval but all you see in their eyes is a lot of love and support. Carefully, you open the door and, just by the way she looks at you and holds a package in her hands, you can tell that she isn’t here to yell at you.
“Libet, you should not be here,” you whisper in the most cautious voice you can muster, still tightly holding onto Hanji’s hands as the woman closes the door behind her. She wears a dark cloak above her nightgown, her hair is down in a tangled mess and the redness in her eyes tells you that she has been crying, the sight is the complete opposite of the strong woman you are so used to. “What happens if you get caught?”
She shakes her head furiously, arms wrapping around your body in an intense hug. You can feel your own body trembling as you return the affection, both of your bodies sinking to the floor after you finally let go of Hanji’s hand. They take a step back, allowing you to have some space while still remaining on guard, just in case something goes wrong during this exchange. 
Silent tears stream down your face, the tightness in your chest increasing as you finally stop to think about the good things you are leaving behind. The woman can tell that you are lost in thought, so she brushes your cheek with her thumb, stopping a tear in its tracks.
“I… I needed to say goodbye,” she whispers, hands carefully brushing your face, much like your mother used to do when you would have a bruise or a cut. She reminds you so much of her. “I brought you a few supplies, it isn’t much but it will last the two of you a few days. There are also a few extra seeds, once you find a suitable place, plant those and remember that they were your mother’s favorites. Also a bit of money.”
“But… How did you know?” Hanji asks quietly, kneeling beside you. The woman smiles, her free hand now gently touching your beloved’s arm and you notice a dark blush spreading across their cheeks as they attempt their best not to look away.
“I know Her Highness like the palm of my hand,” she whispers softly, touching her forehead with your own, “and, if she’s anything like her mother, which believe me, she is, she wouldn’t just sit still, and allow her dad to ship her off to somewhere distant, especially if it meant she would never see you again. Her heart calls your name, after all, Hanji.”
“But…” the two of you speak in unison, sharing a look of confusion as the woman chuckles, clearly amused by the expression on your faces.
“You two have never been very good at hiding,” she responds, and your eyes immediately fall onto the ground, too embarrassed to look at either the woman or Hanji. The only reason you lift your gaze is because you can hear Hanji’s inquisitive tone coming from beside you.
“That day at the tower… When I felt like someone was watching us… Our first kiss..” They say, the words fighting to come out as their brain works overtime to form the necessary sentences, “That was you?” Their question is responded to only by a simple nod and a smile. Do you want to disappear, knowing that someone saw the two of you in such a vulnerable state? It makes your face burn and your vision nearly goes black.
The sound of footsteps and shadows dancing outside of your room is a reminder that you don’t have time to sit around and talk. If you were to escape before sunrise, this is your one and only moment to do it. So you take the package from her hands and stuff it in with the rest of the things you’ve packed. It isn’t very big so it doesn’t take up a large amount of space.
As you stand up, you wrap your arms around her once more, her green eyes meeting yours as she plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. Her voice is quiet.
“For guidance.”
Another kiss, this time on your fingertips.
“For control.”
And lastly, she plants a kiss on the tip of her own fingers before brushing it against the left side of your chest, her eyes filled with tears and you can barely see her pupils through the tears, her voice is trembling and her hand isn’t as steady as it usually was.
“For eternal love.”
You want to say something, maybe stay with her for a few more moments, but when Hanji opens the secret exit to your room, you realize you are out of time. So with one more look, you take your beloved’s hand, making sure to take in the view of the room you grew up in one last time.
Before you can leave, you decide to ask for one more favor, “would you care for Tegan for me? I want to entrust his safety to someone I trust and I would prefer it if my father would stay away from my cat.”
Libet nods, “Don’t worry, I will care for him like he is my own. I’m sure he will get along great with my own animal. He’s always had a precious heart, much like your own.”
You flash her another look and she can tell you are hesitating, but when a shadow lingers around your door for too long, she gives you that necessary push you need to finally get things up and running. She smiles at you while Hanji guides you down the steps for the very first time.
“Good-bye, Your Highness,” the woman waves at you, finally allowing your hand to be free to take Hanji’s. Your eyes meet hers and, for a second, you feel like you are staring at your mother. Your heart beats a bit faster than before and you offer her a smile.
“Call me y/n,” you respond, a single tear falling down your face. Libet chuckles, her hand reaching for the doorknob so she can shut it as soon as you and Hanji are completely out of sight.
“Goodbye, y/n,” she says, her voice is so docile it could almost be compared to freshly made honey, “I hope to meet you again someday. But if I don’t, I will make sure to see you in my next lifetime.” Her words strike you like lightning, your whole body feels like it's on fire, the fear of leaving her alone in this castle is so strong that you are only brought back to the reality of your situation when she pushes you at the same time as Hanji tugs at your hand.
Your eyes only leave hers when you are out of view and you can hear the door shutting behind you. Even though Hanji instructed you not to speak, you want to say something, to ask them if this moment is really real or if it’s just a stupid dream your mind created to cope with the situation. But you don’t say anything, you just follow them, their certain footsteps letting you know that they’ve crossed this cramped space more times than you could count.
The walls of the tunnel are covered in spiderwebs, a smell that you could only assume came from a dead animal hidden somewhere behind one of the bricks and the only light comes from the small candle that rests in Hanji’s hand. A thousand thoughts go through your head but, when you notice that they are shaking slightly, you squeeze their hand three times, a silent way of saying “I love you.”
That small action causes Hanji to stop dead in their tracks, their shaky breath finally returning to normal as they turn around to look at you and you can’t help but be mesmerized. Even in this dim lighting with dirt covering their cheeks, they are still the most beautiful human being you have ever laid your eyes on and just the thought of starting a new life with them nearly makes all the nervousness dissipate from your body.
A careful arm wraps around your waist, their forehead touching yours as they silently mouth back the words “I love you too.” No sound is needed for you to realize that they meant every bit of it. With your eyes closed, you lean forward ever so slightly, your lips brushing against theirs softly.
Hanji’s breath smells like a mixture of berries and bananas, a small snack they would often munch on before an important event or when they were nervous. They’ve told you in the past these particular fruits contained soothing properties and were known for the mixture of sweetness and tanginess, the perfect effect to ground someone back to reality. Your heart breaks slightly when you realize just how intense the taste of their lips is.
Their body melts against your touch and, even though you are in a hurry, they can’t help but give in to the sensation. They part their lips ever so slightly, a clear path for your tongue to gain entry and you can’t contain the smile that forms on the right corner of your mouth. 
Teasingly, you brush the tip of your tongue against theirs and you hear Hanji whimpering quietly in response. The sound alone is enough to send goosebumps running down your spine, all you want to do is strip them and just spend some time together, right there in the dirty, old tunnel. You bring your hand up to cup their face, not only trying to calm their nerves but a way of grounding yourself back again in the seriousness of the situation.
When Hanji tilts their head to the right, you know you’ll be done for unless you pull away. It takes every ounce of your strength, every last bit of it to part ways, a small string of saliva still connecting your bodies while you look at them with love-filled eyes. Hanji was your very first kiss and, even though years have already passed, you still hope they will be your very last. 
A small smile appears on the corner of their mouth as they press their lips against yours in a much quicker kiss, they look at you with thankful eyes, almost as if silently saying how badly they need that small token of your affection. But both of you are aware that talking in this situation is not an option, so you are left to only interpret what they have to say.
Once the two of you regain your composure, you begin walking towards the exit once more. Your steps now carry more confidence than before, certain that this is for the best, the doubts that once clouded your mind have now cleared and, even if you are not sure what the future holds, you know that you’ll be fine as long as you and Hanji are together.
Finally, the moonlight comes into view and the cold wind of the night hits you in the face, it is the most refreshing feeling you have ever felt before. You are still scared: of the guards finding you, of what might happen to Libet, of your father’s reaction. But one look at Hanji’s face and you can tell this is the right choice for you, after all, this is the most freedom you’ve had since your mother’s death.
You had never seen this pathway to the stables and you pay close attention to how dangerous it is. Something was covering the ground that you couldn’t figure out if it was mold, moss, or a disgusting mixture of both, but all you could actually tell was how slippery it was. You realized this because, if it weren’t for Hanji’s protective hands on your lower back, you would have found yourself sitting on the ground after slipping. At least three separate times.
This hidden part of the city was different than anything you had ever experienced. It has a different smell than the ones from the main areas, even the way the lights from the lanterns cover the walls seem somehow different. You can see people dancing around in bars, the sound of laughter and music fills the streets, and, even though it is late at night, children are playing around with street animals. It’s a kind of life you had never been introduced to but always dreamt about.
You can see your breath every time air comes in contact with your lungs, your body shivering in a mixture of fear, excitement, and cold. Hanji’s hand in yours is so warm and it causes your blood to flow at a rapid speed, somehow keeping you from freezing on the spot.
“Okay, we are almost there,” they say, their voice so quiet and full of love, while their gaze transmits a concerned expression, “are you doing okay?” You’re enamored by the way they look under the pale moonlight, the way you can clearly see the droplets of sweat that form on their forehead, even though it is extremely cold. Their fingers brush against the top of your hand, comforting your racing heart. You nod.
“Y-yeah,” you respond and Hanji smiles. God, the way one of their teeth is slightly crooked is such a small detail and you would only be able to notice it if you were paying close attention, but for you, it was one of their most endearing physical qualities. Faintly, you can hear the horses as the stables come into your vision.
You and Hanji pick up the pace of your steps, freedom is within your reach, and all you need to do is make sure to grab a horse. From afar, you can see Elowen, the horse you’ve had for a few years now and the fastest one you’ve had throughout your entire life, you couldn’t see yourself riding another horse out of this situation that isn’t her.
Before you have time to reach the building, Hanji’s strong grip pulls you into a dark alleyway, their index finger quickly taking place in front of their lips as they silently begs you to remain quiet, and, in response, you cover your mouth with your hand. 
They lean their head forward, peaking out of the area in an attempt to see what is going on. You copy their action, noticing a couple of castle guards walking by. The two men, whom you’re more than familiar with, are part of your father’s personal guard and it sends a chill up your spine. Could he possibly already have noticed your absence?
It’s not until both men enter a bar nearby that you allow yourself to breathe. Your body trembles and your blood runs cold, you can feel a surge of panic washing over you, is this a mistake? Maybe you should fulfill your duty to your kingdom and not selfishly run away. Maybe you should accept that you are nothing more than a simple tool, maybe... Just maybe... You aren’t good enough.
Hanji notices the look on your face and the way your eyes are fixated on the ground, the way your body begins trembling once again, and the way you seem to hyperventilate. So they look around again quickly and, when they notice the coast is clear, they pull you in for a tight hug, holding your body against theirs as tightly as they possibly can.
“This has already been one hell of a ride, huh?” They chuckle in a desperate attempt to mask the trembling in their voice. Their breathing is shallow, almost as if they are afraid to let their guard down for even a nanosecond. Your fingertips brush against their cheek softly, a smile forming on your lips as you look up at them, your eyes meeting.
“I’m so in love with you,” you whisper softly, your head laying against their chest, “ever since I first met you, I’ve wanted nothing more than to be your bride.” Immediately, you notice a maroon blush spread across their face and, with it, an endearing smile, it causes your heart to race in your chest and you nearly stop breathing.
“I… I’ve dreamt of hearing you say that for so long,” they whisper, their voice soothing and warm in contrast with the cold air that surrounds you, “I’ve spent my entire life, from the moment I first saw you, trying to crawl my way up as the most successful doctor in all the land, just so one day I could be worthy of a princess. Let’s get moving, the sooner we get out of here, the sooner I can make you my bride.”
“But you are worthy!” You spout, a little louder than you initially meant to, so you quickly take a look around to make sure no one heard you. Once you realize the coast is clear, you continue in a much quieter tone of voice, “You are extraordinary. You were able to study and explore such complicated diseases, finding cures and even causes. There is no other like you, and for my final command as your princess, never speak such things about yourself again.” You say with a serious expression on your face, “Please.”
Hanji snorts quietly and nods, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, “Yes, Your Highness. As you wish.” You roll your eyes but the butterflies in your stomach begin to float around once more, the mere sight of their smile is enough to awaken the turmoil inside of you.
The two of you begin to make your way towards the stables once more, you could not be more than a minute or so away when you realize that Elowen has already been prepared and set outside to wait for your arrival. A pit forms in your stomach as you fear you’ve been discovered by someone else but you are quickly greeted by a message from Libet.
“Your Highness,
You have no time to lose, so I took the liberty of preparing your horse myself. She has been fed and there are a few food rations and treats for her in the small pouch around her neck. I am so sorry there isn’t more I can do for you, but do know that I am rooting for you.
Your mother would have been so incredibly proud of the woman you are becoming. It is unfortunate we will never get the blessing of seeing you as our queen, I think you would have been able to change our world. But no matter where you are, Her Majesty and I will be with you, protecting you from afar.
Please, may the two of you be safe and happy on this new journey. May we meet again under better circumstances.
Libet”
Your heart is flooded once more by the intense feelings of appreciation. It was a different kind of love, the kind you had been missing since the Queen’s passing. To have someone care for you and want nothing more than your happiness… It was something your father had never gotten even close to achieving, something he could never understand: how to love his own child.
As you read the letter, Hanji places the two bags you were carrying onto the horse’s saddle, making sure everything is tightly packed into place. They quietly guide the animal a little further outside of the range of the night guards, who are too drunk to even realize what is happening. You place the piece of paper into your pocket, ensuring that this final piece of home will stay with you during your travels.
You decide to mount the horse first, seeing as you have more experience with this kind of situation than Hanji does. Their firm hands give you a gentle booster as you wrap your other leg around Elowen’s body, straddling her back. Then, it’s your turn to offer Hanji some help. As you extend your hand, you notice the pinkish blush that covers their cheeks, their fingers brushing against your palm before they accept your pull, and you can’t help but smile.
Once they find a comfortable position on top of the horse, they pull out a small blanket from one of your bags, placing it above their shoulders and making sure it reaches you as well. Lastly, they wrap their arms around you, still holding onto the cloth as they rest their head on your back. You can feel their soft nod against you, the sign that the two of you are ready to start moving.
Carefully but firmly, you poke the heel of your feet against the horse’s ribs and she starts to move, slowly at first but once you repeat your movements, she begins to pick up speed. 
Using the moonlight as your guide, the two of you find yourselves going into the forest. For the final time, you bid the kingdom that raised you goodbye, silently waving goodbye to your mother’s resting spot and the place where she had raised you. But even from an early age, you knew the burden of wearing the crown was too much to bear, so finally managing to get away from it was like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders.
As the hooves of your horse crunch the leaves and sticks that fly from the trees onto the ground, Hanji rests their head on your back, arms tightly wrapped around you while always making sure your body is covered by the blanket, protecting you from the night wind as best as they can. You aren’t sure how long the two of you have been moving for, could be a few minutes or a few hours.
Raindrops begin to fall from above, the earth beneath you turns to mud and it splashes onto your clothes. With a sigh, you take a look around, trying to find a place for shelter. When the rain begins to intensify, you hear Hanji’s voice coming from behind you.
“I remember coming into this area with my father once,” they say, snapping their fingers a few times as they try to think of the words, “if I’m not mistaken, there is an abandoned barn just past the old, dirty road. Turn left on that crooked tree and we should be there in less than two minutes.”
You nod, hitting the sides of your horse with the balls of your feet, prompting her to speed up her movements. As usual, Hanji is correct and the barn finally comes into view. By that point, the two of you are already soaked as water has begun to pour from the sky, and loud claps of thunder fill your ears, scaring all three of you.
Once you reach the area, you make sure to place some food down for your horse as Hanji removes the equipment from her back. The two of you begin to pet the animal, reassuring her that she is doing a great job and how thankful you guys are for her hard work bringing you this far. Of course, she probably doesn’t understand, but you like to think she looked content nevertheless. 
When you look at Hanji, they have the brightest smile on their face and it turns your heart into a pounding mess. They take a few steps closer, their hand grabbing onto your waist as you feel your body heating up from that small contact, trembling softly not knowing if it is because you are soaked from the rain or due to the softness of Hanji’s touch. 
Their hand reaches inside of your shirt, slowly gliding up and down your back as it leaves a trail of goosebumps behind in its wake. Without even realizing it, you avert your gaze, too embarrassed to look at them, only for you to feel their free hand reaching for your chin and carefully forcing you to maintain eye contact, “don’t look away.” 
You nod, your lips quivering softly as you shiver. Even in the dark, you can see those hypnotizing brown eyes staring at you, a devious and dangerous smile on their lips as Hanji knows they have you in the palm of their hand. They bring their fingers back to your hips, slightly digging their nails into your soft skin, dragging a whimper out of you.
“H-Hanji…” Your voice falters and you can hear a faint chuckle, their shadow leans forward towards you, lips brushing against your neck and you can’t help but lean back slightly, giving them better access to such a sensitive area. Just as you are starting to fully surrender to them, Hanji pulls away.
“Let’s make a fire and…” Their eyes travel up and down your body before they smile again, “then we can get you out of those wet clothes.” You can feel your entire face burning in embarrassment but you nod, moving around the barn as you look for things to use as kindling.
Most of the things around you are wet as a result of the rain but hidden underneath what used to be a workbench, you find a pile of dry pine cones. Carefully, you bend down to reach for them, watching closely for any rusted nails that might be poking out or any bugs that could be crawling around the area. Once you feel the rough surface against your hand, you call out to Hanji.
“Hey, I found these, do you think it would be enough until the rest of this wood dries off?” You ask, wiping away the hand you used to prop yourself up from the ground. They nod, taking the plants from your hands and running their fingers through it, feeling the texture.
“Yeah, these would be perfect,” they smile, taking a few steps toward the center of the barn. The moonlight and raindrops come through a broken patch on the roof, so while Hanji is in charge of making a fire, you decide to make your way toward the supplies and retrieve some dry clothes while hanging the wet ones to dry. 
Slowly, you remove your shirt, the feeling is nearly identical as though you still have the wet clothes on. Goosebumps travel through your skin and you can’t help but shiver violently, your nipples hardening as your skin comes in contact with the chill air.
As you hook your thumb onto the waistband of your pants, you feel a pair of hands wrapping around your torso, the sudden feeling bringing a small gasp out of you. Hanji buries their face on the side of your neck, gently taking in the aroma you exhale, it earns a small chuckle out of them.
“You smell so good,” they whisper, their voice is tender, carrying the softest of tones, yet you can still hear that devious sound, the desire that has been brewing for the past few days, from before the two of you even decided to run away. You nuzzle yourself against their touch and your action only serves to fuel Hanji’s appetite. Their hands grow bolder, tickling your abdomen as they make their way towards your breasts, cupping them tightly, “you are so soft.”
A breathless whimper escapes your lips and you close your eyes, leaning into the sensation their hands are providing you with. Their warm breath now transforms into heartfelt kisses, which then proceed to turn into love bites, marking the area with their teeth. Their left hand carefully shifts so that their index finger and thumb gently pinch your nipple while their right hand begins to glide down your body. You moan quietly in response, not pulling away from the touch.
Hanji smiles, humming softly as their hand finally finds its way toward the waistband of your pants, “take these off,” they order as they pull away, leaving you wanting for more. You can already begin to feel the wetness pooling in your underwear, so you nod and oblige, removing the clothes from your legs and standing before them wearing nothing but your underwear. They shake their head, “I meant all of it.”
The seriousness in their tone catches you off guard but, once again, you nod. Your fingers gently hook to the sides of your panties, pulling them down your body before you drape them over the improvised clothing line you’ve hung on the barn. You’re too embarrassed to look at them, almost as if it was the first time they were seeing you naked.
Your eyes are closed, but you can hear the sound of their footsteps as they place their own clothes onto the line. The thought of their naked body exposed to you causes another surge of wetness to drip down your legs, the excitement coursing through your veins almost as if it were an essential part of your blood. When their fingers touch your arm, you finally open your eyes, sensing their body behind you.
Their touch is featherlike, so soft that it nearly tickles. The words that leave their lips are sweeter than honey and they make you melt as soon as you hear them, “You’re so beautiful, I could just stay like this with you all night.”
You try to think of words to say in response, but your body betrays you and not a single coherent thought goes through your mind, the only answer you can provide them with is a low whimper, a vocal representation of how much you crave their grace.
Their bare chest presses against your back, lips gently brushing against your neck while their right hand travels to explore your skin, going from your arms, then gently brushing against the lower part of your breasts, continuously making its way down your stomach, only to finally find its resting place just above the mound of your pussy. You reach behind you to wrap an arm around their neck, pulling them even closer to your body and you can hear a faint gasp escaping their lips, it has an instant reaction in your heart as it feels like it’s about to run out of your body.
Carefully, their fingers spread your folds apart, exposing your swollen clit to the cold night air. You hiss quietly in response, shutting your eyes tightly as you nuzzle yourself against them. They glide down a bit more, swirling their digits around your tight entrance and gathering the wetness that was once trapped inside.
“You are already so wet for me,” they whisper, nibbling on your shoulder softly. Your face feels like it's on fire and all you can do is surrender to their touch, instinctively spreading your legs apart slightly so Hanji will have better access to the most sensitive area of your body. They chuckle, a low and rough sound, “Good girl.”
Hanji moves their hands away and you grunt in disapproval, but it quickly goes away when Hanji flips you around so you are facing them as they proceed to pick you up in their arms, almost as if you weigh nothing. They carry your body closer to the fire, carefully laying you down on the small camping area the two of you set up.
Their eyes never leave yours, that loving gaze you’ve grown so used to analyzing your every move, every small reaction your body may have to their actions. The smile on their lips never fades, it in fact grows wider once you bring your hand up to cup their face and begin to brush their cheek with your thumb.
Hanji nuzzles themselves against your touch, one hand supporting their body upwards so they are above you and the other softly travels through the sides of your body, forcing a mixture between a moan and a giggle out of you.
“I love the way you react to my touch,” they whisper, their voice laced with desire and passion. Their movements become a bit rougher and it turns into an evident contrast with their kisses, which could only compare to the silk pillows you were so used to sleeping on.
“I love the way you touch me,” you whisper in response, your voice is so low that it is barely audible. Hanji smiles, a simple action that could easily outshine the sun if they tried. Your heart races in your chest and you can feel your excitement dripping down your legs, leaving behind a trail of your dedication towards your beloved.
“I know this is no way to speak to a princess…” They whisper, moving a strand of hair away from your forehead, “But I know how to make this night special for you.” You tilt your head, puzzled by what could they possibly have in mind but, before you have time to ask, they remove the ribbon that holds their autumn-colored hair up. The strands fall on their face and the shadows dance with their skin, your breath hitches in your throat and you can’t seem to be able to look away, absolutely mesmerized by their beauty. This is why their next sentence catches you so off guard, “sit on my face.”
You choke softly on your own spit, using both of your elbows to prop your body up, “I beg your pardon?” You find yourself blinking repeatedly, trying your best to process their request, no, their demand. Hanji chuckles in response, laying their head on the floor.
“You heard me,” is all they say before patting their cheeks, much like you would do on a chair or a… Different “seating” surface. Your entire body burns in embarrassment as your eyes meet, the expression on their face indicating they could not be more serious.
“I don’t want to crush you,” your voice falters and it’s now Hanji’s turn to prop their body up with their elbows. They vigorously shake their head and you know exactly what they are thinking, so you continue, “I… We’ve tried this before… And I almost hurt you. You know I can’t hold myself up after a while.”
“y/n…” The softness in their voice is almost alarming, a dangerous tone that they only used when they wanted to convince you of something, “if you start to hurt me, I will push your ass back up with my hands.” You can tell by the expression on their face that they have been thinking about this for quite some time, just waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up to you again. You let out a long sigh.
“Alright,” you nod as there is a sudden light in their eyes that was not there before, “but if I start to hurt you AT ALL, you will let me know, right?” You give them a pleading look, silently begging them to make this promise. Without missing a beat, it’s Hanji’s turn to nod.
“I promise!” They eagerly respond and, with that, they lay back down on the floor, their cheeks a crimson color as a love-drunk smile takes over their lips. 
With unstable legs, you move closer to them, your breathing is shaky and, for once, it’s not from the cold. You can hear your heart beating in your ears and it might as well have been the loudest sound that echoes through these empty barn’s walls. You feel your stomach twirling around anxiously but the sight of Hanji’s eager lips is enough to send a shiver down your spine and put your mind at ease.
Carefully, you place your knees on each side of their face. Your eyes meet theirs and you can’t help but feel embarrassed once more, almost as if this is the first time the two of you are being intimate. The genuine expression on Hanji’s face sends your heart into a flutter and you look away.
As they hook their arms over your thighs, they speak to you in a caring tone, their voice filled with what could only be described as the most raw and unfiltered love for you, “I want you to look at me, please.” Your lower lip trembles but you oblige, tilting your head down so that your eyes can meet, “your scent is intoxicating, I could spend the rest of my days down here, just living in between your legs.”
“S-shut up!” You stutter, the words barely being able to leave your throat. You want to look away, to avert their hungry gaze at all costs but you are drawn to it like a magnet. So you simply look into their whiskey-brown eyes when they first flip their tongue against your wet slit, your body shivering as a moan erupts from deep within you.
Even with their arms wrapped around your thighs, they are able to use their middle fingers to spread your folds apart, giving them better access to your swollen clit. You can hear the wet sounds of your arousal and their saliva being mixed together, along with the sound of their breath as they inhale your essence.
With each time Hanji flicks their tongue, you buck your hips forward in response. The loud sound of the thunderstorm outside covers any noises you are making, so you don’t even worry about trying to remain quiet. Though the cold air feels nice when it comes in contact with you, it doesn’t prevent the strands of hair that stick to your skin or the droplets of sweat that drip down the side of your forehead.
Suddenly, the singular layer of pleasure is split into two when their tongue stops its teasing motions on your entrance and softly begins to enter you. Not only that but there is a second point of pleasure that you can’t quite decipher until you look down at them, their adoring eyes focused on your face once you notice that their nose brushes against your clit. 
There is a blush that spreads across their cheeks, their breathing warming up your exposed pussy as they continue to lap their tongue around the deepest areas inside of you. They gulp down every drop of your essence, their movements are so certain that you can tell they have been waiting and preparing for this specific moment for a very long time.
You can feel yourself succumbing to their touch with each passing second, the lack of finesse to their movements would be enough to make any nobleman cry, their tongue pushing and prodding around the entrance to your wet pussy, teasingly lapping inside before returning to the outside while the tip of their nose continues to attend to your swollen clit.
You can feel yourself growing weaker, not because of an orgasm, but because of the way they make sure every inch of your aching cunt is being properly attended to. Your thighs tremble slightly and you can feel your body lowering itself on their face and, as a confirmation, you feel Hanji’s hands shifting from their spot on your pussy to a spot on your ass, where they use very little strength to gently prop your body up once more.
Moans erupt from you with the same intensity as the raindrops that fall against the rooftop. Their name falls from your lips repeatedly, almost as if you are chanting to the world who is the one to make you feel this incredibly good. The sensations increase once you feel their nails digging at the skin of your ass, a quiet gasp escaping from you as a result.
“Did I hurt you?” They stop their movements as soon as they hear you, a concerned expression taking over their features. You shake your head desperately and it earns a giggle out of them, “Do you want me to do it again?” Your voice betrays you and not a single coherent word comes out, only a quiet mumbling sound and a nod.
The feeling of their nails dragging across your skin and leaving behind red marks is enough to cause your body to lower itself against Hanji’s face once more, not from losing balance but because you are desperately seeking more contact with their tongue.
Hanji makes sure to use every part of their face to bring you the maximum amount of pleasure: their nose brushes against the swollen bundle of nerves that sits at the top, their tongue playfully teases your entrance while moving up and down and their lower lips brushing around the area, making sure not a single part of your aching cunt is left unattended.
Their movements are precise, almost desperate as they work their hardest to bring you some well-deserved release. You can’t help but move your hips in perfect synchrony with their tongue as you feel it entering your thigh entrance, exploring every inch as it drags loud moans from you.
“H-Hanji…” You whimper loudly, and your voice is hoarse as a result of trying to compete with the loud sounds that come from outside. Your breath is shaky, one of your hands travels towards their hair, playing with the loose strands of their side bangs as the other rests above their chest, holding yourself up and helping you keep your balance as your hips grind against Hanji’s face, “It feels… So good…”
You can feel the warmth of their breath as they giggle against you, clearly amused by the reactions they are getting out of you. When they pull away slowly, you whine quietly, annoyed by the empty feeling their tongue left behind, but then you hear their voice, low from desire as lust takes over their eyes, “Moan my name… Show me that your heart belongs to me.”
Their words alone are enough to cause another rush of pleasure to gush out from inside of you, straight into their mouth and Hanji can’t help but let out a delighted sound. The warm sensation rises to your cheeks and you find yourself embarrassed to say it, even if they have asked you to, even if you desperately want to.
“Hanji…” You decide to start off quietly, their whiskey-brown eyes shooting open as you feel a smile forming on their occupied lips. Their tongue continues to make its way inside of you, feeling every little contraction from the inside while the tip of their nose is now glistening with your juices. You’re embarrassed, there is no denying it, but your need to please them overturns any of the shyness, “H-Hanji, please… Keep going… I… I need more.”
Your words are breaking up and your hips gain a mind of their own, bucking against your beloved’s face like a loose horse on a track, there is no stopping you now, especially not since the familiar warmth has started to form on the pit of your stomach.
Hanji’s hands hold your ass up, making sure they are not being suffocated by your thighs. They can tell you are getting closer so they use that knowledge as leverage to speed their movements, their entire face now entirely focused on bringing you over the edge.
“Hanji… H-Hanji, you’re going to make me come,” you say in a shaky voice, your breath trembling just as much as your legs as you attempt to keep yourself steady. They take your words to heart, softly and meticulously moving around. Their tongue thrust in and out of you as their hands tightly squeeze your ass, their nails digging into your soft skin.
They know exactly what they are doing to you, there is no doubt in their mind that they are the only one who can make you feel this way, and the thought alone is nearly enough to send Hanji themselves into an orgasm. 
With a loud gasp, your body leans forward, your legs shake violently and you nearly feel yourself collapse on top of Hanji’s face but luckily, your hands hold on tightly onto a pile of old wood that finds itself in front of you. That is the only reason why you did not come crashing above them.
Their name falls from your lips with ease, cries of pleasure erupting from you as they slow their movements but refuse to cease them, slowly teasing your aching clit with the very tip of their nose. Your walls contract around their tongue and, by the look on their face, you can tell Hanji is in heaven.
The pleasure washes over your body like a crashing wave and it lasts for a while, just giving you this insane high that could only be comparable to the one you have seen from the guards who go venturing in the forest. This one feels different from the other orgasms you have had while having sex with Hanji… Not only more intense but more intimate as well.
Tears form in your eyes as you finally find enough balance to hop off Hanji’s face, catching a glimpse of your juices covering their face before they use the back of their hand to wipe it all away. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment and you want to bury your face on their neck and never look at them again, but you decide against it.
Instead, you lay down next to them, their hand grips tightly around your waist while your fingers gently brush against their face. You lean closer to them, fully taking in the scent that you left behind, lips ghosting above each other before you take a step further and actually kiss them, finally tasting yourself on them.
Hanji’s tongue swirls around with yours, exploring your mouth to the fullest, not an inch goes by untouched and the combination of your saliva and theirs, plus the remainder of your fluids that is left on their face is enough to bring a whimper out of your partner. It’s a taste Hanji has never and will never grow tired of.
Reluctantly, they pull away, the necessity to breathe outweighing the desire the two of you feel in your hearts. The warmth from the fire flickers around you and the shadows of the night dance around their face, making them more beautiful than ever before. The love they have for you is evident in the simple way in which they hold you by the hips, pulling your body as close to them as they possibly can, almost as if they are scared that you will disappear the second you are not within their reach.
“You truly taste like the most addictive treat…” Hanji whispers, their voice husky with desire as their lust-filled eyes analyze every inch of your body, “I can’t help but crave more of you. That pussy of yours is all I can think about…”
Your breathing ceases for a few seconds as you silently choke back on your spit, not because you are embarrassed, although that was slightly the case, but because that was not at all what you were expecting them to say to you.
Not sure how to respond, you bring your lips against theirs once more. Your tongue rushes above their lower lip carefully, taking in every drop of your wetness that you might have missed. You can hear a faint moan escaping their throat, covered in desire.
Slowly, your fingers begin to trace their way down their chest, carefully touching the space in between their breasts. You start with circular movements, using the tip of your nails to leave behind a few red marks on their sun-kissed skin, and, in response, Hanji closes their eyes, finally allowing themselves to be vulnerable.
Once a breathless whimper escapes their lips, you decide to get a bit more daring, tracing the contour of their underboob with your finger. Their skin is soft and you know it would be so easy to leave a love mark if you so desired, but this time isn’t about marking each other, it’s about feeling the love the two of you have shared toward each other for more than a decade.
You nuzzle your face against their neck, leaving behind love-filled kisses that awaken goosebumps along their skin. The smell of their sin has always been one of your favorite things about them, the feeling of their wet hair brushing against your cheek, tickling your face ever so softly.
Your fingers continue to travel and explore every inch of their body, tracing a gentle line above their stomach and it causes Hanji to giggle and then immediately pout. You know how ticklish they are and yet, you just can’t help yourself but be delicate in your touches. 
With a smile on your face, you take a second to grip tightly at their hips, pulling them as close to you as you possibly can, eyes closed as you enjoy the warmth emanating from their body. The fear and anxiety you felt just mere hours ago dissipate with each passing second, the horrifying thought of a life without them seeming more like a memory than a possibility.
“Feeling clingy, aren’t we?” Hanji whispers, a grin so big stamped on their face that you could even see the singular dimple on the left side of their face. Normally, this would be the moment where you would roll your eyes, playfully push them away or even tell them to shut up, but they are right. You are feeling clingy.
“I just…” You begin whispering, trying to explain your track of thought without making a complete fool out of yourself, you are failing miserably, “I love you. I have loved you for so long that I don’t know who I am without having these feelings for you in my heart.”
“y/n, I- I,” they begin but you shake your head, squeezing their hips just a bit harder. Hanji knows that this is your silent way of asking them to stop talking and let you finish whatever it is that needs to come out of your chest. With a deep breath, you continue.
“You saved me, more times than I can count,” you whisper, your voice is shaky is a cocktail of emotions, “so I am thankful for the chance of ever being with someone like you. So yeah, I guess after everything that has happened today, I am feeling a little clingy.”
By the look on their face, you can tell they feel the smallest bit of remorse about teasing you, but it is not like they are going to apologize. You both chuckle softly, Hanji’s hand gently brushing against your cheek as you find yourself mesmerized by the spring in their smile while autumn was the season that stared back at you, those brown eyes doing wonders to your heart.
Hanji’s tongue brushes against your lower lip, traveling from one corner to the other before they proceed to nibble on the thin skin. For the next move, their tongue invades your mouth, swallowing the chorus of sounds that comes from your throat like it's a pond of crystal clear water in the middle of a desert. 
Before you give them a chance to reply, you decide to finally continue to move your fingers down, playfully twirling their pubic hair around. Your kiss continues, slowly and tender at first, bringing out the years of practice you have had with each other, perfectly in sync. Your fingers finally brush against Hanji’s clit, so you gently rub it in circles for a few seconds before using your hand to push their legs to the side, giving yourself better access.
Their desire is undeniable and palpable, they can’t hide the blush that has been spreading from their cheeks onto their ears nor can they hide the wetness that begins to pool onto the bed in a reaction to their lack of underwear.
“Tell me what you are thinking about…” You whisper, your curious fingers dipping a little below their original spot to drag out a bit of the wetness that begins to pool inside of them. You can hear Hanji’s quiet gasp and a smirk creeps onto your lips, “Tell me what has made you this wet.”
You can tell they are embarrassed, not only by the way their entire face immediately goes from a faint blush to a dark red as it spreads to their ears but also by the way they squirm beneath your touch, hips moving forward in desperate search for more contact with your fingers.
They struggle to keep their breathing steady but every attempt is futile, the words they were so proudly flaunting around when it was your turn to be vulnerable suddenly disappear and the only sounds that they can express are breathless and desperate moans.
Only when you threaten to move your fingers away do the words return to them, the response is nearly immediate as a sudden fear takes over their heart, “I… I keep thinking about y-you…” They know that isn’t a good enough answer, they trip over their words, flustered as their mouth dries up. Your eyes never leave their face, admiring every small freckle, even droplet of sweat that falls to their eyebrows, every spec of dirt left behind by the blowing wind and rain.
“What about me?” You inquire, wanting to hear the specifics of their desires. Your heart beats powerfully in your chest, so much that it nearly hurts. Your love for them has never faltered, from the first moment the two of you met, you have been inseparable, hearts beating together as one. The scenery of your beloved by the fire is engraved in your brain as you make a point to memorize every detail about this moment.
“T-The way you looked when my tongue was inside of you,” Hanji begins to speak breathlessly, with every word that exits their lips, you increase the pressure on their clit, rubbing gentle circles while using their own wetness to make sure there is no friction, “all the ways I can make you sound,” they moan, eyes rolling to the back of their head in pleasure.
“Keep going,” you indulge, the devilish smile on your face never once faltering. Gently, you begin to nibble on their earlobe, feeling as their grip around your shoulders tightens. They want to be as close to you as possible, even if it means your bodies will melt together under the fire and become one.
“I keep thinking about the way you look at me when you are about to come,” their voice falters slightly, trembling from desire. Their heart beats at a thousand miles per hour, and a few droplets of rain make their way inside the barn and dare to fall onto their head, mingling with the sweat that forms on their hairline. You can see their breath with every word that exits their mouth and yet, the cold doesn’t affect either of you in the slightest. “I think about the way your lips feel against my skin, especially when they - Ahh..”
You don’t give them enough time to finish the last sentence. You lower your torso softly, bringing your attention now towards their breasts, your left hand supports your body up as your lips tightly wrap around their nipple, tongue firmly swirling around the raised bud while your finger starts to slowly make its way towards their entrance.
Hanji arches their body slightly, attempting to guide your digits towards their most sensitive area. You can see how eager they are, not only by the way their hips buck forward but also by the small quantity of viscous liquid that has slipped from in between their legs, you chuckle quietly as your tongue continues to move around their nipple,
A small part of you wants to be slightly cruel and continue to tease them but when you look at them, those pleading eyes tugging at the strings of your heart until you can’t deny them any longer. Carefully, you slide your middle finger inside of them, their nails gripping at your skin as they close their eyes, a happy grin tugging at the corners of their mouth.
Once your finger is fully settled inside of them, you begin to thrust it in and out, dragging pleased moans out of Hanji, even if your movements are still slow and loving. But even though Hanji found themselves enjoying this experience, they needed more, you had been teasing them for a while, and having you sit on their face earlier was the cherry on top. They weren’t sure how long they would last at this pace. Their fingers drag over your arm, begging for more.
Not only do you comply and begin to speed up your movements, you decide that adding a second finger would be the best course of action. With your index and middle fingers buried down to the third knuckle inside of them, you pick up the pace, your fingers scissoring quickly.
Hanji is nothing but a blushing mess, their moans are loud as they try to bury their face on your neck. You continue your assault on their breasts, suckling on their nipples like your life depends on it, the tip of your fingers brushing against their g-spot, tickling them from the inside out as you try your best to help them reach their climax.
The palm of your hand grinds against Hanji’s clit, adding an extra layer of pleasure to the whole thing while your fingers continue to move in and out, dragging against the walls of their pussy as they continue to dance inside of them. Up and down, one side to the other, there was no direction you weren’t moving in.
You can feel their cunt getting wetter, more desperate for you as they continue to moan. You finally move your lips away from their breasts,  your eyes finally meeting once more as Hanji’s free hand runs over your face, thumb gently brushing above your cheek and you can see a single tear of pleasure forming beneath their eyelashes.
“I love you,” they whisper, their chest rising and falling desperately as they continue to buckle their hips in perfect unison with your fingers, there is no stopping this now. Their breaths become even more dysregulated, the desperation in their voice nearly palpable as they continue to repeat the same words over and over again, almost like a mantra, “I love you.”
“I love you too, sunshine,” you smile, hoping that your words will reach them, “I want to make you feel good.”
“You are…” They move their face closer to yours, foreheads touching as they wrap both their arms around your neck, propping themselves up in a way that allows your fingers to reach even deeper inside of them, “it feels so fucking good.”
It was rare to hear them curse, so for Hanji to say such a thing, meant you were more than definitely doing something correctly. You continue your movements, your lips ghosting above theirs as you speed up once more, the tips of your fingers fully exploring every single inch of their insides, leaving no pleasurable spot untouched.
They close their eyes tightly, mouth nearly hanging open as they barely find the strength to speak, “y/n,” your name falls from their lips with such ease, like their vocal cords were made to play the symphony that is your name, “you are going to make me come.”
“Come for me, Hanji,” you whisper, lips brushing above their cheek, carefully planting kisses on the area. You can feel their walls begin to tighten around your fingers, their pelvis raising in the air as they get closer to the edge, all you need to do is that one final push, “I love you.”
Those three sacred words always did the trick. With a loud scream, Hanji’s body begins to shake next to yours, arms pulling you closer as your fingers are nearly pushed out by the intensity of their spasms, but that itself isn’t enough to stop you. As you readjust yourself slightly so your body is more on top of theirs, you push in deeper inside, the tips of your digits continuing to brush against their g-spot while you slowly switch from in and out movements to circular ones.
They cling to you for dear life, wanting nothing more than to feel themselves being cradled in your arms. Once the intense pleasure wave has passed and their body finally seems to stop convulsing around your fingers, you decide to pull them out, leaving behind not only an empty feeling inside of them but also a long trail of their juices.
“You did so good, sunshine,” you say, bringing your digits close to your lips. Hanji’s eyes widen as they realize what you are about to do and their cheeks become covered by a darker shade of red than you have ever seen before. You smile, taking your fingers into your mouth as your tongue swirls around, taking in every last drop that they have left behind. You can’t help but hum happily, the taste of their pussy being the most delicious meal you have ever had in your entire life.
They watch you in a daze, almost as if they are under hypnosis. A mixture of scents fills the air: the smell of the rain against the grass outside, the smell of the fire crackling next to you, the smell of your sweaty bodies as you become one, but the smell of sex overpowers any and all others.
After a few seconds, you remove your fingers from your mouth, not a single drop of Hanji’s juices remains and, instead, a small string of saliva finds itself attached to the area. It’s the most sensual scene they have ever seen and, for some reason, they simply can’t avert their eyes. 
Hanji places their hand on the back of your neck, their fingers lacing themselves with the strands of hair attached to your skin by a layer of sweat. Once they finish readjusting, they pull your face towards theirs, lips crashing against yours in a hunger-filled kiss, swollen lips desperately searching for some sort of relief as they can taste themselves on your tongue.
Your teeth gently nibble on the soft skin of their lips, pulling the flesh towards you until it earns a long moan from Hanji and it draws a few drops of blood and neither of you seem to care about or mind about the newfound metallic taste.
Reluctantly, the two of you pull away, only a single string of saliva connecting your bodies. Your eyes meet Hanji’s and you are met with a look you are more than familiar with: the necessity for more. A warm feeling takes over your features as your chest rises and falls, you want to say something, anything that would make this feeling go away but the words fail you. All the confidence you had mere moments ago disappears and it’s up to Hanji to take the next step.
“You are so beautiful,” they whisper, their words washing over you like warm water on a cold winter night, “I am so lucky that I am the only one who gets to see you like this, the only person who gets to see Her Highness, Princess y/n, in a flustered state, sweaty and with your hair all tangled up. I want to be the only one… for the rest of our lives.”
“It has always been you,” you respond quickly, your voice trembling with emotion as you continue, “My first crush, my first kiss, my first time, every first I have ever had has been yours and I plan to keep it this way.”
It’s now Hanji’s turn to look away, their eyes are fixated on the wall until you bring your fingers gently towards their chin, moving their face ever so tenderly so they are looking at you once more. Your heart races in your chest, wanting nothing more than to look into their whiskey-brown eyes while you declare your love.
“One time, after I grew tired of reading the same old books in the castle’s library and begging my father for new ones, Libet secretly snuck into this extremely old book,” you begin to explain, noticing how Hanji’s eyes are shining even more brightly than before, they pay close attention to every word that dares leave your lips, “it came from a very distant land, somewhere I had never heard before but somehow it was still in English, much to my luck.”
“You and your books,” they smile playfully and you roll your eyes in disapproval before letting out a heartwarming giggle.
“In the book, I read about something called “The Red Thread Of Fate,” and it’s a theory that two people connected by a red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. The cord may get tangled, but it will never break.” Your voice is now lower than a whisper, blood rushing through your cheeks as you explain your favorite tail, “The following day, I met you. It always felt like we were - “
“Meant to be,” Hanji finishes your sentence and you nod. You cup their face gently, thumb lovingly brushing above their cheek until you notice goosebumps forming on their skin once more. You lean down slowly, placing a couple of kisses on their neck, earning a few eager moans as they lean against you.
Your hands begin to explore their torso, aiming for their breasts while your fingers pinch their nipples gently. When they begin to exhale those sweet, sweet harmonies, you are no longer able to control yourself. You sink your teeth onto the smooth skin of their neck, leaving behind a mark, not a big one, but enough that they will remember it by tomorrow morning.
You desperately want to taste them again, this time directly from the source, but you don’t have the chance to make your way down. Instead, Hanji takes your chin away from their neck, fingers sliding down towards your throat as they ever so gently squeeze around it, earning a moan out of you.
“You’re going to be a good girl and listen to me, won’t you?” They ask, pulling you closer with a devious grin on their face, teeth digging into the flesh of their lower lip. All you can do is nod, your mouth hanging open for a slight second as you pay close attention to them.
You want to respond, you want to say something but words simply refuse to come out. Your brain has been wiped clean and the only coherent thought that even remotely comes to mind is Hanji: their slightly crooked smile, the raspy sound of desire in their voice, the desperation present on their touch as they dig their nails into your skin.
You whimper, that is all you can do in this situation. Their usually sweet eyes are now piercing through your body like a wild animal looks at their prey like they are addicted and you are the most fascinating drug they have ever had the luck of tasting.
Your hands go through their abdomen, fingertips carefully analyzing every little crook and dip, every scar they have acquired throughout their life, and even the smallest strands of hair. Your heart dips into your throat, nearly escaping your body but somehow, you can hold onto it. You want to tell Hanji how beautiful they are, how much you love them, how much you want this, but they are faster. Their words break the silence.
“I’m going to spread my legs, okay?” Hanji says, guiding you through the process. You nod and you catch a quick glimpse as the corners of their lips lift into a smirk, they continue to speak, “I want you on top of me, just like we used to do.”
You nod once more, focusing all of your attention on making sure you are following their instructions perfectly. Just like they said, Hanji’s legs part ways, their left leg is stretched on the bed while they adjust their right upwards, you take in the sight of their soaked pussy, the last few drops of her cum slide down her ass and land onto the ground, soaking the area below.
With your left hand, you carefully move their right leg up slightly, their knee touching their chest as they let out an amused sigh, this being the first time in years that this particular scenery plays in front of them. You slowly throw your right leg above theirs, your wet pussy pushing against Hanji's as you position yourself above them.
As your wet vulvas begin to touch, the two of you can’t help but moan in perfect harmony, a symphony of breathless whimpers filling the atmosphere. With your free hand, you guide Hanji’s palm towards your breasts and, eagerly, they begin toying with your nipple, pulling at the bud while watching for the pleasured expressions on your face.
It’s like something flips in your brain and your hips gain a mind of their own, eagerly bucking back and forth. You push yourself forward, applying more pressure to the point of contact between your two bodies and you can tell exactly where Hanji’s mind is in this moment.
With your free hand, you begin to explore their torso, nails dragging against their sun-kissed skin as it contrasts with the red marks you leave behind. The sweat on their face glistens as the light emitting from the fire washes over their features, their fingertips toying with your nipples before ghosting over to your hips, pulling you closer as they increase the pressure of your bodies pressing together.
“I love you,” they say in between whimpers, their voice trembling in a mixture of desire and need. You can’t help but feel yourself melting in response, a smile plastered on your face as you throw your head slightly back, your hair tickling your skin. Their fingers begin to dig bruises into the skin of your hips, an attempt to encourage you to speed up your movements, the sweet words pouring from their lips like a waterfall that cannot be stopped, “my heart calls for you with every beat, with every breath I take. I’m yours and yours alone.”
Your heart beats forcefully in your chest and suddenly all the moisture disappears from your throat, it’s nearly impossible for you to swallow and you almost choke on your words, but you want to return the sweetness they are expressing to you. So you sink yourself deeper against their aching core, the wet sounds filling the air as it mixes with the desperate moans the two of you let out.
“You’re angelic,” your brain isn’t sure as to what you are trying to say at this moment, so you allow your heart to do the talking for once, your breath is unsteady in between whimpers, “every part of you, every strand of hair that falls out of place, every freckle on your shoulders, every little scar on you is perfect. It’s almost like you were made for me to love.”
You continue to roll your hips, your cunt rubbing against theirs in a frantic rhythm as the two of you search for a high that seems closer than you could ever imagine. Despite what it may seem, Hanji’s body is more defined than they allow other people to know, it’s a direct result of constantly working in their father’s herb garden for most of their life.
From this angle, you can fully admire the silhouette of their body. You can pay close attention to the small arch of their spine, their back no longer touching the ground as they search for an even more intense connection between your two bodies. You close your eyes for a split second, still being able to taste their juices on your tongue.
Once your eyelids lift once more, you realize Hanji’s face is starting to contort into one you are more than familiar with. You yourself begin to feel the familiar tingling sensation as it forms in the pit of your stomach, and it only encourages you to pick up the pace.
"Fuck, baby girl," Hanji hisses in pleasure, their fingernails digging at your hips enough to draw a couple droplets of blood but that little bit of pain only adds to your pleasure. The way your wet pussy rubs up against theirs in a slow grind, the bundle of nerves colliding against one another as the two of you continue to whimper each other’s names. Hanji tilts their hips up ever so slightly, grinding back against you and matching your quick pace. You can feel your blood rushing faster and faster through your body, “I’m close…”
You nod, hands wrapping around their abdomen as you continue to hold yourself against them, “I-I’m close too…” You want to sound like the confident person you were just a few minutes ago, but that persona is long gone. All that is left behind is a whimpering mess, who can’t stand the mere thought of stopping her movements, “H-Hanji… Hanji, I…”
It hits you like a tidal wave. You aren’t even able to finish your sentence before your body begins to shake violently, your grip around them tightening as you throw your head back, you tried so hard to be quiet throughout the entire night but, just this once, you can’t help but scream their name in pure bliss.
Hanji isn’t far behind. In fact, the sight of your orgasm on top of them, your excess of juices dripping onto their entrance and mixing with their own was enough to shake them to their very core. Their nails dig into you tightly as they continue to move, drawing out every last bit of pleasure they can from this interaction.
You hold yourself into place and you can feel their clit spasms against yours, tears of pleasure forming in your eyes as you continue to whimper weakly. It takes nearly a minute for the entire effect to end and, only when the two of you are certain that there is nothing else in the tank, is when you unhook your legs, allowing your limp body to carefully come crashing down above their abdomen.
The two of you breathe heavily, lungs burning in a desperate search for oxygen. Your skin sticks together due to the sweat and neither of you even dares to move, except for Hanji’s fingers, which begin to lightly brush above the back of your right arm.
“I - “ the two of you say at the exact same time. Neither of you can help but chuckle at the situation, before doing it again, “You go first.”
With a small nudge of your head, Hanji begins to speak, “I knew from such a young age that I wanted to be your partner, that I needed to make you my girlfriend, even if at that point, it only meant holding hands and reading books together.” You notice a few tears begin to form in their eyes as they shift their face away from yours, trying to hide how vulnerable they feel at this moment. Almost as an instinct, you bring your hand up towards their chin, carefully turning their face back towards you, a few tears of your own threatening to fall down, “my entire childhood, I was surrounded by so much tragedy and death that I just assumed I was a bad omen, attracting sadness wherever I went.”
As soon as their words leave their mouth, you frown, a pout forming on your lips as you listen to them. You shake your head, refusing to continue to listen to them as they continue to speak about themselves in such an ill manner. But before you have time to intervene, kiss them, or even just tell them to shut up, Hanji takes your hand on theirs, fingers lacing together as their lips plant a small token of their affection on your knuckles.
“You taught me that wasn’t the case,” they whisper, tear-stained cheeks turning even redder as they blush, “you showed me that good things CAN happen to me. After all, I ended up with you, and I’ll be damned if I don’t admit you are the very best thing that has ever happened to me.”
You prop your head up on Hanji’s chest, the most beautiful brown eyes meeting yours in a love-filled stare. No words were needed at this moment for the entire atmosphere to be completely overtaken by the passion the two of you share for each other.
“I thought my life would always be this straight line,” you being speaking, your voice barely managing to get out of your throat, a result of all the moans but also the emotions that you had bottled up for a while, you want to let them out calmly but your mouth refuses to listen to your brain, so you continue, “I thought I would always have to dress up, play my part, marry a man and have several kids to make sure the bloodline and the kingdom were secured.”
“The idea of another person, especially a man, touching you makes my skin crawl,” for a second, you notice as their usually brown orbs turn dark, the jealousy in their voice not subtle at all. Before they have the chance to continue their rant, you plant a kiss on their lips. It doesn’t last long and, unlike the previous kisses you had been sharing that night, this one isn’t filled with lust, but with longing.
“My point is that from a very young age, I knew exactly who I was going to be,” you whisper against their lips, still planting a few kisses here and there as the words pour from your mouth, though your voice is still trembling, you have never been more certain of what you are trying to say, “and then when I met you, I was even more certain.” When Hanji shoots you a confused look, you smile and continue, “I knew I wanted to be your bride.”
A comforting silence grows between the two of you as you lay your head back down on their chest, the beats of their heart directly against your ear plus the sound of the rain outside truly made the entire experience so much better. It felt almost… heavenly. A while passes, you aren’t sure if it is minutes or seconds, but it’s enough for your eyes to begin growing heavy, a smile stamped on your face.
"I guess I haven't officially asked, have I?" They say, their fingers just ghosting above the back of your arm. You open your eyes just enough to look at them before propping yourself up on their chest, placing your chin on your hand in the hopes of not causing them any discomfort, a puzzled expression of your own on your face, and it drags an endearing laugh out of Hanji. "To be my bride."
Your face suddenly feels like it’s on fire. Of all the things you were expecting them to say at this moment, this one was not on the list. Yes, you were expecting a proposal eventually, maybe even at some point soon, but that wasn’t the reason why you brought it up in the first place. Not that you are complaining, to actually hear them say it? To hear them ask the very thing you have been craving since you were eight? Oh, the speed at which your heart beats in your chest could only be compared to a healthy stallion being set free in the wild for the first time.
"Please, Your Highness," they begin, a smug smirk stamped all over their features and a giggle escaping their throat once they notice how you roll your eyes at them, "y/n... will you give me your hand and marry me?"
Now it's your turn to laugh, a sound Hanji could never get used to, for it always meant more than the entire world to them. For some reason, they seem so nervous, almost as if they are afraid that you will actually say no to their proposal. You shake your head and place a kiss on their cheek, "I will marry you. I will gladly take your last name and get rid of my father's. I want nothing more than to live a long and happy life with you, Hanji Zoe.”
The light from the fire makes your shadow seem angelic like a goddess descending from the heavens just to bless them. Hanji can’t help themselves. They immediately pull your face closer, their lips meeting yours in a tender kiss, their voice is a mess of hums and whimpers, but there is no sexual connotation behind the sounds.
After you pull away, Hanji doesn’t open their eyes. Instead, they pull you closer into their chest, burying your face in the crook of their neck while their fingers hold onto your back tightly, desperately hoping to keep you from moving, but it’s not like you had any plans on doing so.
There is a smile on your lips that refuses to fade. The warmth from your beloved’s skin plus the sound of the pouring rain are enough to lull you into a deep slumber and for the first time since the night your mother died, you find yourself free from the nightmares that have haunted you.
By the time you wake up, the thunderstorm feels like nothing but a distant memory as the dark clouds have been replaced by the bright sunlight that enters the barns through the broken windows and the cracks. It takes your eyes a second to adjust and, by the time you become fully conscious, you realize you are lying there alone.
Your naked body is now covered by the previously rain-wet blanket and the fire next to you is now extinguished. You take a quick glance around, and can’t help but frown when you can’t seem to find Hanji anywhere. You stand up, finding your dry clothes lying next to you and the small hairbrush that was once in your bag now sitting on a compact mound of hay.
Once you are dressed and miraculously remove all the knots from your hair, you make your way outside. The first thing you see is your horse, happily eating and drinking by a small lake a few feet away. The pout that once took over your features now dissolves into a happy smile as you make your way towards her.
Carefully not to startle her, you place your hand on her flank, fingers gently brushing against the soft fur as she turns around. The horse’s head bobs up and down a couple of times before she immediately returns to her previous affairs and you decide to leave her be.
From the other side of her silhouette, you can hear the water splashing around, so cautiously you find yourself making your way toward the origin of the sound. Your heart immediately melts and you have to fight all of your instincts to prevent your body from turning into mush as soon as you see the view ahead:
Hanji’s pants are cuffed up to their calves, they aren’t wearing a shirt since it would just make it completely wet, so the water droplets fall directly onto their skin. Their hair is tied up in a messy bun and they hold a knife in their hand. One quick glance over to the side and you notice a quickly handmade basket holding a handful of fish and some fruits.
You take a few steps forward and clear your throat, wanting to make your presence known without alarming them. Promptly, they turn their head around and flash you the brightest smile you have ever seen, your heart rapidly swells with a thousand emotions, but the most prominent ones are love and affection.
“Good morning,” they say, taking a few steps towards you. Their arm wraps around your waist as they pull you close, a grin tugging at the corners of their mouth as their lips press against yours in a quick and messy kiss. It doesn’t last for long but it’s enough to make you smile from ear to ear, a truthful reminder that when it comes to Hanji, you always wear your heart on your sleeve.
“Good morning,” you respond once your lips part ways, your voice having a sluggish and almost needy tone to it, “you should have woken me up, you know. I could have helped!”
Hanji chuckles while shaking their head, their grip on your waist tightening as they place the knife on their belt, “I didn’t need help. Besides, you look so beautiful, I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up.” That stupid response, always made your entire face burn and always made you feel so shy just to hear it, but this reaction is exactly what they are looking for. “Let me make you some food, you must be starving.”
At the simple mention, you can feel your stomach growling. Your fingers brush against the fabric of the shirt that covers your stomach, allowing you to feel just how hungry you are. So you decide not to put up a fight anymore, simply nodding as they let go of you and reach for the basket on the ground, picking it up before making their way back to the barn.
Your eyes keep tracing the outline of Hanji’s body as they walk in front of you, the love marks you left behind on their neck are oh so visible when their hair is up like this. You can see every small mole hidden on the back of their neck and it sends a shiver down your spine, the thought of the previous night returning to you as you feel the heat growing in between your legs once more.
The only reason why you are pulled out of those thoughts is because Hanji dries their body off and puts on their shirt. A chuckle escapes their lips as they notice just how deeply you had been staring but, for once, they decide not to tease you about it.
Instead, they walk towards the spot that used to be the firepit, reaching for the same objects you used to make a fire the night before in the hopes of igniting it again. Gently, they pat the spot next to them, silently begging you to take a seat. It takes you less than two seconds to make yourself comfortable, your head resting on top of their shoulder as they begin to clean the fish.
It takes around two hours for the both of you to eat and clean up after yourselves, wanting to hide any and all traces of your stay as best as possible. While Hanji makes sure to cover up the fire, you place everything back in the bags, looking around for signs of anything you might have forgotten or anything around the barn that might be useful.
When you’re done, you reach for the piece of paper with the visual representations of all the lands explored by men. Your eyes go back and forth, trying to analyze every and all possible scenarios, the most hidden yet safest paths, and routes that might lead you towards freedom. Though, it is hard when you aren’t exactly sure of where you are going.
You can feel yourself growing more anxious, your breath trembling while a knot forms in your throat. It only dissipates when you feel Hanji’s presence behind you, the warmth that emanates from their body immediately calming you down as you realize they are just what you need.
“There’s a village a few more miles west,” Hanji says, pointing towards the blurry smudges on the map that slightly resemble a pair of mountains. Their chin rests on your shoulder, fingers brushing from the paper towards your hand and you can’t help but smile, “Maybe when we get there, we can get some more supplies and I think Elowen here would appreciate some more fresh carrots and apples.”
You hand them the map and nod, resting on your forehead on your horse’s muzzle, your heart beats at a rapid pace as you scratch her favorite spot on her chin. Her fur is warm and she doesn’t seem to be in any pain or discomfort despite the extremely long journey, so you let out a content sigh, knowing that this is all you could ask for for your most loyal friend.
“Do you think we will ever stop running?” You say in a whispered voice, a subtle hint of regret imprinted in your words but it is enough for Hanji to notice it. For a few seconds, all you can hear is the sound of the wind blowing the leaves of the trees and you ask yourself if they heard you, but before you can repeat your question, they sigh.
“I don’t know,” there are a lot of feelings laced in their voice: fear is the most prominent one, but also a bit of sadness. However, never once did you find a single shred of regret in their words. They continue, “But if it means keeping you safe, I will go with you to the ends of the Earth. We will go beyond the areas on the maps and form a little life of our own at the edges of the universe.”
You feel your entire face heating up at their words, even more so when you feel their hands wrapping around your waist as they place their head in between your shoulder blades. Your heart nearly skips a beat and a brand new wave of butterflies awakens in your stomach. It’s your turn to sigh.
“Do you mean it?” You ask softly. You already know the answer and still, your heart yearns to hear them say those three little words yet again. Hanji nods and you can feel them as they smile against your back.
“With every bit of who I am.” They respond, their fingers digging at your hips as they flip you around so the two of you are facing each other. Their hands continue to rest on your hips, thumbs gently brushing against the dips while your arms wrap around their neck, your face standing mere inches away from theirs. Their voice is now smooth like butter, as they finally proclaim what you have been desperately craving to hear, “I love you, y/n.”
A shaky moan escapes your throat, your body melting as an immediate response to Hanji’s words, to their actions, to the mere way they look at you. It’s like your lips gain a mind of their own, immediately seeking solace and comfort in their kiss. 
Every flick of their tongue raises the hairs on the back of your neck, the moment their saliva mixes with yours, it fills your taste buds with a flavor you could only compare to the sweetest nectar derivative from a sunflower born from a drop of sunshine. Your eyes are tightly shut but you can clearly see their face in your brain: the small way their nose scrunches when they are moving their head, the twitch on the corner of their lip when they realize how badly they have you in the palm of their hand, or even the way their eyelids tremble, struggling to remain shut.
As Hanji’s petal soft lips continued to brush against yours, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, all the fear you once had about running away melting with every beat of your racing heart. For the first time in a while, you fully allow yourself to be submerged in the overwhelming feeling that is loving Hanji Zoe.
The need for air begins taking over your body as your lips tremble against theirs but your mind is too clouded by the need to stay in this moment to pull away, so unfortunately for you, Hanji is the one to listen to reason and separate themselves from you. You pout, sadness clearly engraved on your features but it doesn’t last long. Hanji brings one of their hands up from your hips towards your face, their thumb brushing against the skin of your cheek ever so softly.
There is no need for words to be said between the two of you, so all you can do is nuzzle yourself against their palm, a trembling breath making its way out of your chest, almost as if it had been sitting there for as long as you have been alive.
You sigh, turning away from their touch as you take a few sure steps towards Elowen, who begins to excitedly clap her hooves against the ground when she notices that you begin to adjust her saddle. You can feel the warmth of the sun soaking into your skin and into your heart as you watch Hanji place your bags in their designated spot. They smile shyly to themselves as they gently pat the horse on the ass, a playful action that earns a neigh from the animal.
Once the two of you find yourselves ready, you are the first one to hop on the horse’s back, carefully scooting forward and adjusting yourself so that your beloved will have enough space to sit down. You reach your hand down carefully and Hanji giggles in response at how delicate your movements are, the blue blood that courses through your veins still apparent. 
Nevertheless, their rough fingers brush against your palm as they grab hold of you. Their foot shakingly touching the stirrup, unsure of when it would be the appropriate moment to leap from the ground. So in hopes of giving them a bit of assistance, you squeeze their hand gently, tightening your grip just enough to give them a boost of confidence.
That simple small action works like a charm and, within milliseconds, Hanji finds themselves sitting behind you on top of the horse once more. They wrap the cloak around the both of you once more, making sure that at least your heads are properly covered but not blocking your vision. Then, once you are both settled, they wrap their arms around your waist tightly, their cheek resting in between your shoulder blades once more.
You can tell that they have a smile on their face and the warmth of their body provides you with a sensation that is more than enough to keep the cold fronts away. So with a sigh, you carefully hit the heel against the horse’s ribs, kissy sounds making their way past your lips as she begins to gallop towards the village Hanji mentioned earlier.
As the trees pass you by, a sense of calm washes over you. “I would be getting married right about now if I had stayed behind,” you think to yourself. You can’t help but wonder if the royal guards are looking for you right about now if everything is okay with Libet or even Tegan. If your father has had yet another heart attack while having a fit of rage.
You shake your head, pushing away every thought that could be related to your old life. Your Highness, Princess y/n, the king’s only child and heiress to the throne died the moment her father discovered her secret romance with a peasant.
At this moment, all that matters is that you can’t wait to find out who it is that you can be now that you are free from the chains of royal duties and responsibilities that tied you in place. You can’t begin to conceive of a life in which you aren’t with Hanji, a life in which the two of you aren’t living together in a cabin far away.
It’s a life you have been dreaming about and finally, you are about to discover just how happy you can be while living the simplest of lives. After all, that was one of the many benefits of being a pauper.
122 notes · View notes
hangesdarling · 3 months
Note
Idea! Hange who finds out her rival in the scouts is actually just a massive bottom
rivals, right? — h. zoë
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PAIRING. Hange Zoë x female reader SYNOPSIS. You and your rival Hange were forced to sleep in one tent for an expedition. CONTENT. 18+, MDNI, nipple sucking, fingering, oral sex, a bit slow burn WORD COUNT. 2.1k A/N. sorry anon i missed the part where they're scouts :") they're both section commanders on this one though. hope that's alright!
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"I'm not sleeping with you," you groaned, the irritation sharp enough to cut through the night. 
"You make it sound weird when we're just sleeping in one tent," Hange said with an amused laugh, padding up the tent floor with a few blankets so it wouldn't be too rocky to lie down on. 
So annoying, you might be thinking. Hange always acts coy, teasing even as if your constant clash and rivalry were an amusement of some sort. Years of training and expeditions, even as scouts, Hange always managed to be linked with you. Both were labeled the smartest, both became section commanders at the same time, and both were considered respectable researchers. Your titles always one up with the other, a tight competition you never seemed to have an agreement on. 
"Ugh, why is it always with you?" You mumbled behind the notebook you're scribbling on. It was loud enough to reach Hange's ears. 
"Sorry, dear. Every tent is occupied," they said simply. Hange placed two makeshift pillows, peeking over the tent as if waiting for you to come inside. You glanced in their direction but turned away almost instantly. 
"I'll be out here for a while," you muttered, focused on scribbling on your notes. Hange looked over your shoulder in curiosity, crawling beside you. 
"Observations, huh?" Hange remarked, pushing their glasses up so their eyes could follow your scribbles. 
You blushed at being observed, quickly hiding the notes you were writing. 
"Nah, just listing why my research is more relevant than yours," you saved yourself from awkwardness, pulling a smug smile. 
Hange laughed, tilting their head almost mockingly. "That's kinda pathetic, don't you think?" 
"Heh, not when I get those two titans for my experiment," you replied, lips curling into a smirk. 
Ah, so damn stubborn, Hange thought. They shook their head lightly, still amused by how you managed to pull this stubborn behavior with them for years. You're typically kind and soft-spoken with other scouts, an authority to be respected, not feared. But Hange finds it almost ridiculous when you both act like bickering children around each other. 
"Would it kill you to share a titan with me? Besides, Erwin said we only get to capture one titan each."
"Out of all people, you should know that won't be enough," you replied. The situation you're both in just hardens your stubbornness. How could humanity thrive and gain knowledge when research is always limited? Tight budget, the shitty authority; Survey Corps never seems to run out of problems. 
"Well, we have to work with our limited resources, you know," Hange explained. "We're not supported enough in terms of this. Our supplies are insufficient. That's probably why we're sharing a tent."
"I'll do something about that," you mumbled like a steadfast promise. "Just go to sleep for now."
Hange looks at you for a while, perhaps in admiration or judgment. But in any way, they see the reflection of their resolve. 
"You should sleep too. It would be a long day tomorrow. Good night, Y/N."
Do something about it, huh? Hange slept with that curious thought, wondering what risky method would you try to pull in the next few days. 
---
Being outside the walls stopped feeling new after your tenth or fifteenth expedition. As a scout, you always have some sort of fear just from the countless tales of unsuccessful expeditions and a tower of dead bodies after one. 
 But now, you managed to expertly map through the routes outside just from memory. Where titans roam the least or the best view to watch over their behavior. 
You were sitting atop a branch of a large tree, binoculars in hand, and planning where to stage the capture. Your mind went through the manpower and equipment sent with you outside, wincing at the fact that the capture could be dangerous. Hange managed to develop a catching net some months ago, ensuring a safe capture. However, with the tight route and a precarious amount of titan, you doubt that this capture would be entirely safe. 
From another tree, Hange was watching titans, observing how slow they usually walk without bait. They are focusing. Supposedly. 
But now and then, their binoculars would travel over where you sat, the lenses perfectly capturing your distress at the current conundrum. 
No sooner, you felt another presence at the tree—Hange's familiar footsteps, careful to reach you on that wide branch. 
"You're worrying about the route, isn't it?" you heard them whisper behind you as you lowered your own binoculars. 
"Not just that," you sighed defeatedly, head on your hands. "I was thinking that two titans really wouldn't be enough for us even if we shared."
You handed Hange your notebook much to their surprise. They flipped over the pages, gaining an understanding of your concerns. Your desired experiment might be ambitious and idealistic but it would be helpful if you succeeded. But with resources so limited and countless lives to take into consideration, how would you able to do this?
Hange sat beside you, still thumbing over some pages. Even if you're turning your face away, Hange could tell you were trying hard not to tear up from the frustration and possibility of loss. This was important for you after all. They've watched you study, observe, and create all of these for over a year. 
They placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly before saying, "We could do something about this, you know that. Come with me."
----
"Why do you always kick your blanket off when you sleep?" Hange asked curiously one night in the tent. 
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do! I had to tuck it beneath your feet at least three times last night," Hange argued. 
"My, don't bother with it..." You brushed it off, turning away from them to hide your face. You tried to trace back since when Hange Zoë's relationship with you became so casual, almost friendly. If your mind wanders far enough, you might consider something else happening. Affection, maybe. But you shrugged all those thoughts off, reminding yourself that the plan you agreed on was purely for science and the advancement of humanity. 
"But you're weak to coldness," Hange continued, covering you in several layers of blanket, ignoring the pout on your lips. They had a grin on their face when they said, "Don't want my research partner getting sick, do I?"
"We're not research partners," you frowned.
"Eh, why not? I just told you my whole plan and you agreed with it."
"Doesn't mean we're partners from now on."
"God, you're one stubborn lady," Hange chuckled, a sigh escaping their lips. They pulled their blankets over them, slowly dozing off. Outside, the night was filled with the gentle chirps of crickets, chorusing at one point. Even with such proximity, you could feel Hange's warmth, their gentle breathing only conveyed that they must also be awake. 
---
The next morning, you and Hange's plan set into motion, traps were located strategically in a different route. Both of you were taking full liability for what would happen in the days to come, informing the soldiers about the need to capture four titans to sufficiently conduct the research. It wasn't the safest plan, some were hesitant but many trusted your scheme since all of you share a common goal. 
You commander your unit, imparting knowledge of the best actions to take. But for the remaining hours, your eyes remained on your notebook, pretending to check details to reach the optimum result. However, Hange knew you had an entirely different reason. Maybe to interact less with them, afraid they would bring up how you two ended up tangled in each other's arms last night.
---
"I'm just letting you know that won't happen again," you said flatly, eyes boring upwards through the tent as you lay down. 
Hange turned their head to you, their lips forming into a subtle smirk once more. "What is?"
"Um, last night..." you said in a low voice. 
"Ah, you mean when you're hugging me so tightly?" Hange asked smugly. 
You bit your lip, trying to save yourself from this. "I was asleep. Not responsible for my actions, but forgive me for disturbing your sleep."
Much to your surprise, Hange hovered over you, their deep brown eyes glinting almost knowingly against the dark space inside. The atmosphere thickened, your heart ramming louder than the sounds of night. 
"No need to apologize for anything, sweetheart," they whispered, their eyes following your lips the way your eyes do for them. In that heated moment, all that you've both held in flooded out like a dam breaking and gushing to spill over. Hange placed a firm hand on your shoulder, keeping you pinned on the blankets as their lips met yours. It was a firm kiss, your lips nearly melting into each other's. Your hands traveled on Hange's hair where you tug and pull them closer. Hange sat you up in their lap, gaining better access of your neck and chest. Their hands snaked under your clothes as they ask for permission to go further each time to which you only nod. 
"If you want to have me so bad, you shouldn't have spent years being annoying," you muttered into the kiss. 
"Says the one who wouldn't let go of me last night," Hange smirked, a thumb circling your clothed breasts. "Besides, you should've picked up on it early on. You're so smart after all."
"You know, you look more attractive when you shut up," you muttered as you fell on top of Hange. Their flushed face look at you expectantly, expecting you would dominate this whole ordeal. After all, they saw you in that dominant, commanding light after years of leadership. 
But Hange noticed how flustered you were just from being on top of them. Your thighs kept straddled on their lap, your hands resting on their shoulder, not knowing where to hold on. Hange smirked, taking it as a sign to flip you over once more. Their breath was warm against your ear as they whispered, "It's okay, Y/N. Let me do it for you."
Hange locked your lips in a kiss once more, bundling your shirt on your chest. Their lips slithered from your lips down to your throat, reaching the trail between your breasts. They kept one firm hand on your wrist as their tongue gently circled one of your nipples, sucking their lips on the hardened bud.
Hange covered your mouth before you let out high-pitched noises from the sensation. 
"Shhhh... You don't want your subordinates to hear you, right?" They smiled against the darkness. 
The night was slow and heated as you let Hange do wonders with their mouth and fingers, always managing to draw out a soundless moan from you. Your lips could only part, your hands clenching around their body. They were amused to see you follow along and nod with their wishes, so compliant with their charm.
Hange had the button of your blouse open, your breasts spilling out into their face and the warm flesh of your stomach open for their wet kisses. 
"You know," Hange began, drawing their fingers in and out of you at a teasingly, slow pace. "I didn't expect this much submission from you."
"Shut up, Hange..." you breathed out, a hand over your eyes as you were beginning to write against their fingers. Hange held down your hip, tugging your pants a bit more so they could have more access to you.
"As you wish, m'lady," Hange placed a kiss on your clit before gently lapping up the warm wetness gathering on your slit.
Hange kept on until the faint light of dawn slitted through your tent. You forgot just how much stamina they had to draw one orgasm after another from you. They only stopped when you've whined and writhed enough under them, pleading for a break. Hange fixed up your clothes, smoothed out your hair, and drew the blanket over you again as if nothing happened. Their wet lips kissed you once more as they said, "You still have a few hours to sleep. Sleep tight, sweetheart."
---
The capture will take place during the afternoon. The equipment was set, and the soldiers were preparing their ODM gear for however long the capture may last. 
The scouts passed by, even some of your friends, noticing the slight shift of the atmosphere but couldn't quite put it into words. Maybe this time their section commanders weren't bickering as usual. They went with that fresh start in high spirits,  brushing off their suspicions whenever they saw Hange place an arm around your waist or whisper something to make you laugh or blush. Your unit didn't think much of it, even attributing it as a minor hallucination or a ripple in the universe. There's no way their section commanders are getting affectionate.
After all, you're rivals, right?
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likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3
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14dyh · 5 months
Text
Sickness | H.Z.
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Pairing: Hange Zoë x female reader Summary: Hange takes care of Y/N during a terrible cold. Word count: 1.4k A/N: oh to be taken care of by hange… (btw hange x reader requests are highly encouraged, i love doing them)
The weather changes recently have been a challenge to Y/N's immune system, which may also partly be the reason for her often sickness. Y/N forgot what mornings without a stuffy nose felt like, or a clawing sore throat begging for relief from a distasteful cough syrup. Food barely tasted good, and every night, the dread of running out of tissues at her bedside creeps up on her. Sickness was incredibly mundane after what she had to go through during the war that both ended and began everything. The war demanded her to fight despite bleeding and injury. To think that a soldier trained to withstand any sickness was currently sick in bed was somehow ironic.
Y/N shifted groggily in the sheets, mind still clouded and her breathing quietly desperate for a better airway.
"Hello, love. Good morning," Hange would quietly say every morning accompanied by a tight hug around her chest, snuggling closer as their bodies dipped on the soft mattress.
Y/N would smile but quietly scold Hange for insisting on sleeping beside her despite her sickness.
"Pfft, I won't get sick," Hange would reason, even going as far as proving it with a few kisses. "See? Sickness itself is scared of me."
Hange's humorous attitude alleviated the discomfort within Y/N. The sickness often irritates her because of how much it restricts her actions around the house. After the war, the house she envisioned with Hange gradually became a reality and became where they settled. It has a wonderful view of a riverside and vast greenery. The neighbors are few and everyone has been kind, mostly because of Hange's charm and friendliness.
Hange insisted on tending to the house when Y/N got sick. They learned to clean up and organize the house in functions that would favor them both. It was a scene Y/N always envisioned as she gripped her sword to fight. This is the peace she fought for. A quiet, married life with her most beloved in a serene countryside.
"Hm, awake already? How'd you feel?" Hange approached the bed, carrying a tray of steaming food over the bed.
"Terrible, but not very much," Y/N muttered, sitting up before coughing on a fresh tissue. She would look at the food Hange prepared and smile, knowing that Hange had been exploring more cookbooks on their bookshelf. They have been fascinated by the outside world cuisine, always eager to try something new and pick the best ones for Y/N. Hange would usually sit by the bed as Y/N ate, flipping through the cookbooks and telling her the contents, what looked tasty, or what they would try next. Y/N could not help but give Hange a loving stare as they rambled on, appreciating how Hange used their curiosity as a love language.
Y/N cherished these days despite the sickness as it was nothing compared to their life before the war. She longed for this resolute peace, creating these halcyon memories to remember.
Y/N, consumed by her current happiness, is unaware that she is slowly deteriorating. Darkness slowly spreads underneath her once lively eyes. Her skin appears more sickly than ever, and a strange lack of reflection plagues the mirrorless house. The setting sun never fades into darkness, and the ticking clocks of life have paused.
The morning... or what she thought it was... was nothing like any before. She awoke shaking and panting violently, her fists clenched and unclenched the sheets as if trying to hold to reality and reality itself. She squeezed her eyes shut, pinching her nose as if to compress the horrors of the past. Was it another nightmare of the war? The same recurring dream of losing Hange? It was unbearable to watch like a memory violently forced into the forefront of her mind.
"It's just a dream..." She muttered to herself, holding onto the pillow.
No sooner, Hange entered the room carrying the breakfast they prepared for Y/N. A worried expression passed over their face as they saw the disheveled, panicked state of their sick wife on the bed. Hange sat beside Y/N, wrapping the blankets around her until they were intertwined in each other's arms.
"I dreamed about it again..." Y/N muttered, almost shakily. "I lost you... You died in that war..." Y/N sniffled, leaning closer to the warmth of her lover, letting her ears be filled with the sound of their heartbeat. Hange remained silent, slowly stroking her hair.
Then Hange broke the silence and whispered, "Why do you think so?"
"We can't pretend like this anymore," Hange whispered back in response, a morose sigh passing over their lips as they almost trembled holding her. Y/N felt her heart lodged in her throat, a deep pit in her stomach eating her away.
Y/N shrugged and shook her head lightly, her hand finding a way around Hange's. "I don't know, probably just my head messing with me," she muttered.
A long silence followed and it filled Y/N with discomfort as though there was something lurking beneath her terrible dreams.
"Hange, what do you mean...?" Y/N wanted to take it back, her words almost like a terrible mistake to trigger a ticking bomb.
Y/N was overcome with the gentle shudders from Hange as they sobbed on her shoulder. Their eyes watering with desperation and grief, they finally mustered the courage to face her, tracing a thumb over her cheeks. The lightness of her touch seemed insignificant against the deeper pallor of her face and the dark circles that enveloped her eyes, signs of her deep internal illness.
Y/N sniffled, partly because of the cold and partly because a dreadful truth began clawing on her insides, demanding to be let out. She could not meet the gaze of her spouse this time.
"I'm so sorry..." Hange whispered. "I wish things could be different."
Hange paused and brought their lips to her cold hands.
"That doesn't matter now, though." Hange's tears began to trickle down their lover's hand, a transitory warmth passing over. "You have to wake up now."
"What...?" It was weak, a persistent cry from her throat, wishing that her ears were fooling her this time.
"Wake up now, I'll always be here," Hange held her tight, their actions betraying their words. They don't want to let go. But holding on would only hurt her.
Y/N shook her head furiously, a string of no's spilling from her lips as she held on to Hange with her eyes closed.
"Please, sweetheart," Hange pleaded, their thumb wiping away the tears that fell on their lover's face. "You have to let me go."
"What are you saying...? Please don't leave me..." Y/N gripped Hange's arms, afraid to let them go again. Afraid that she would lose them again the way she did back then.
Was it all a dream? Y/N thought to herself. Then why does the sun feel so warm, why were Hange's heartbeats so real against her ear? Y/N broke into tears as the world began to shift back to reality once again. The warmth. Hange's heartbeats. They felt so strong yet so desperately hollow...
Unreal.
"I love you, I always will." Hange loosened the grip, letting Y/N return to the world they fought for.
-
Y/N woke up crying on the cold sheets of what their room should have been. A heavy storm pounded against the roofs and windows, the sound forming a euphonious symphony to be heard inside. Y/N let the obsidian sky cry with her, the emptiness of the house consuming her bit by bit. The same place Hange promised to build a life with her became nothing but a hungry space, waiting to consume her as well.
Y/N shook her head, refusing for things to end this way. She cried and cried, she showed this place that she wouldn't be consumed... she was meant to live. That's what Hange would have wanted.
Y/N fell asleep crying, peaceful at once as she drifted back to unconsciousness.
That morning, Y/N felt the balmy rays of the sun spilling warmth through her skin. Her eyes fluttered open, still puffy and weak from crying. She cried with the sky so much that night. So hard that her nose cleared up, regaining her airways once again.
She could breathe again, no longer suffocating, no longer a prey to be consumed by her grief... The empty grave of her lover felt so close yet so illusory in the backyard of the house they once dreamt of together.
"Thank you, Hange..." she mumbled as her eyes fluttered close once again. A tell-tale embrace enveloped her in warmth as she drifted back to a peaceful slumber.
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m-jelly · 9 months
Note
Hey there Jelly! If requests are open, may I request Hange x Fem! Titan Shifter reader? Hange spots the reader in her Titan form, helping animals and killing other titans. Hanger just looks at Her and is like "Yep, I can live with that!" Thank you for your time Jelly!
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Love in all shapes and sizes
Hange x fem!Reader
Canon world, romance, falling in love, fluff, cute, sweet, titan shifter reader.
Hange goes for a horse ride to clear her head and stumbles across you. She watches you as you care for animals and stop other titans from getting close. Hange approaches and starts talking to you. You get to know her and reveal who you really are.
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The wind tousled Hange's hair as she rode across the field. She knew very well that there could be some leftover titans in the area, but she didn't care and she was armed. For a moment, she wanted to be free. Countless responsibilities had been thrust upon her. It was becoming too much.
She closed her eye for a moment and enjoyed the freedom. Loud stomping made her open her eye and look over to where the noise was coming from. She slowed down as she watched a breathtakingly beautiful female titan carefully pick up a few sheep and place them back into a pen.
"Holy shit." She grinned as she felt excited about meeting another titan shifter. "I hope she's friendly."
Hange raced over to the female titan and kept a close watch. She yanked on the reins of the horse and gasped when the titan raced over to her. She expected death, but the titan ran past her. Hange looked behind her to see the titan grab the neck of an abnormal reaching for her. The female ripped the titan's head off and dropped the body on the floor.
You panted and turned to look at Hange gazing at you with adoration in her eyes. You squatted next to her and smiled. "May I carry you?"
Hange inhaled deeply. "Another talking titan!"
You hummed a laugh. "Yes. So, may I?"
"Please!"
You picked Hange up and placed her on your shoulder. "Hold on. I'll also carry your horse." You cradled the horse and rose to your feet. "I will take you to my home."
Hange gripped your hair as you walked towards a cottage with a farm area. "Pretty place! I didn't know anyone lived out here because of the Titans."
You gently placed the horse in your stables. You reached up to Hange. "Come."
Hange stepped onto your hand and held your thumb as you lowered her. "So, are you a human?"
You sat in front of her. "I...I am...please don't hand me over. I...I love it here. I have a cat and a dog. I have animals...please."
Hange gasped. "I would never! You are just living your life here beyond the walls."
You hummed. "I have been hiding. Titans only eat people and I kill Titans. So, I've been okay."
Hange offered her hand. "I'm Hange Zoe!"
You reached over and let her grab a finger as you introduced yourself. "Lovely to meet you." You hummed a laugh. "You're not afraid?"
"We have a shifter working with us!"
You smiled. "That's good."
"So..."
You shook your head. "No thank you. I understand you need help, but I don't want to get involved. I've been hurt enough for being different. I enjoy being here alone with my animals."
Hange pouted. "Can I be here?"
You blushed a little. "Only if you want to."
"I do!" She grinned. "Can I meet the real you?"
You released a long sigh. "As long as you promise not to tell anyone about me."
"I swear."
You smiled and lay down. "Okay." You pulled from the back of the neck of the titan and gasped. You pulled free and made your way down to Hange. "This is me."
Hange gazed at you in awe. You were the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. The marking on your face framed you so perfectly. You were graceful and yet strong. Her eyes traced your body and the way it moved and curved. You were a divine being in her eyes.
Hange shivered as arousal shot through you. "You're hot."
You went bright red. "Th-thank you. You are a very beautiful woman." You pointed to your home. "Would you like to join me for a cup of tea?"
"Yes please!" She hugged your arm and walked with you. "Damn, you even smell good."
You smiled a little. "I make my own soap."
"You're incredible. I like you."
Your heart skipped a beat. "I like you also."
159 notes · View notes
oggirlboss · 3 months
Text
[bunny girl!]
pairings: levi ackerman x bunny girl!reader and hanji zöe x being weird and chaotic and unhinged and adorable and alive
warnings: violence, possessiveness, and unconsensual experimentation.
notes: did i spend all night writing this? yes. do i regret it? not yet. yolo.
word count: 2,700
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          "shut the fuck up about it, hanji!!" the dark haired captain slammed his fists against the lab table, sending papers flying and shattering a half-filled beaker. he was completely fuming, eyes livid and teeth bared. he had never felt this disgusting, nothing had made him feel more violated than what hanji had proposed to him. but instead of feeling shame or guilt, he felt angry. he wanted to lash out, destroy something that mattered, make a fucking difference in something. everything already felt like it was falling apart and he was only doing his best to hold himself together. something vile twisted in his gut, churning his insides into molten mush. even looking at hanji reminded him of his grievous mistake. he never should have trusted them with such sensitive information about his sex life. he tensed before looking for the next item to throw.
          hanji popped up from behind a filing cabinet to tilt their head lovingly in levi's direction, either entirely oblivious to his rage, or taking an absurd delight in it. perhaps they thought that this was a game. they began giggling before seeking cover as levi threw a scalpel at them from across the room, cautiously craning their head to watch as the blade soared across the space separating them, embedding itself into the wall a few inches from hanji's eye. they scurried back into levi's line of sight for a second, narrowly avoiding the next object he threw at them. "make me!" hanji taunted.
          levi's voice was grating, hurting him with every word he spoke. he took great care to be direct and concise in his wording, knowing that hanji would do everything in their power to turn his words against him. each syllable rang out, chilling hanji to their core. "i'm going to fucking kill you." hanji was well aware that levi made no empty threats. but the sheer terror of the situation never set in on them. instead of shaking in fear, they felt guilty for starting a fight that caused their close friendship with levi hang in the balance.
          "i thought i was doing what you wanted, levi." they spoke softly, knowing that he was capable of hearing them over the melee. the activation of his ackerman genes lead his senses (specifically hearing) being heightened. "i'm sorry." their sudden apology startled levi. "i never would have done it if you didn't tell me about it." levi halted his attack against the mad scientist. he should have known that hanji's gesture had come from the goodness of their own heart. his features contorted as he buried his face in his hands. he should have let it go. he should have been able to let it slide. he should have known that hanji would do anything if they thought it could made levi happy. even if it meant overstepping his boundaries.
         "no, hanji. i'm sorry." he spoke as he carefully navigated the debris coating the lab room floor, steering clear of the shattered glass and spilled liquids. he lifted hanji from where they were curled in a nest of important filing papers, dusting off their coat and smoothing the wrinkles out of their collar. "it's my fault. i never should have told you about it."
          "no. no. no. it was my fault for taking the initiative." hanji rested their hand over their heart. "i should have waited until you asked me for help. i shouldn't have made the potion without your consent. can you find it inside yourself to forgive me?"
          "it's okay and i forgive you." levi was secretly glad they were able to reach a resolution. more than anything, he felt relieved that this incident wouldn't spread to affect anyone outside of them. "now we can destroy the potion, and put this all behind us."
          "yeah, um." hanji nervously fidgeted with their fingernails. their heart pounded in their chest, unable to look levi in the eyes any longer. "about that." their expression was painful for levi to witness. he knew it meant trouble for him. and trouble always resulted in more paperwork for him. "i've already put it in use." hanji amused themself by worrying at the dead skin that clung to their bottom lip.
          levi was at a loss for words. his grip on hanji's collar tightened slowly. "explain to me what you did. very clearly."
          "well," hanji gulped. "just a few hours ago, at breakfast, i saw a very clear opportunity to mess with [y/n]'s tea, originally i thought about putting a frog in it, but i thought that was too cruel. no creature deserves to boil to death in a substance that's 97% earl grey and 3% [y/n]'s backwash."
          as much as he knew that he shouldn't take the bait, levi bit the bullet and spoke his mind. "why do you know that?"
          hanji shrugged, grateful for the opportunity to distract levi from his mounting murderous intent. "just curious i suppose. but that is an entirely different experiment. on that day, i was taking a walk through the garden and i had the most peculiar thought. i was considering how to best catalogue the flora and fauna of the area and compose all the information into a book of what was edible and what wasn't when i started to wonder about other things." hanji gulped, their voice becoming more strained by the minute. "i was like, gee! hanji! i wonder how many models i could make of our friends phlegm globs? and so i collected a crowbar from the closet and lodged it down moblit's throat as-" levi's hand was quick as lightning, moving from hanji's collar to their throat. he just hoped hanji got the message that the longer they continued to stall, the tighter his grip would clamp down on their windpipe.
          "i don't care about that and you know it. tell me what you did with the goddamn potion."
          hanji proceeded with their story, carefully trying to croak out the words. "i had a perfect shot! i figured that since nobody was looking at me, and i conveniently had the potion in my pocket that it must have been fate! and my hand slipped over her drink." hanji tried to rub the back of their neck but levi just smacked their hand down. "so, she already drank it, and..." hanji careened in levi's grip to get a better look at the clock hanging on the opposite wall. "it should be going into effect any minute now."
          levi inhaled slowly. each second they spent in silence was torture for hanji. they knew each breath they breathed could very well be their last with someone as lethal as levi ackerman prepped to kill them. levi's eyes closed as he contemplated his next words, the shame and disgust surfacing inside of him again. "i take it back. i take it all back. i am going to fucking kill you." hanji made a noise that didn't sound human as levi tightened his grip, choking the life out of them.
          "l-levi!" they gasped, spittle flying as they spoke. thank god the door burst open when it did. the hallway light spilled into the decrepit room, illuminating the chaos surrounding where the two sole occupants of the room stood. hanji couldn't have been more excited to look upon the face of their savior, while levi slowly craned his neck around to view the person intruding while he was in the process of committing murder. the incoming light was blinding, obscuring the person standing in the doorway into a dark, human shaped figure. levi didn't realize who it was until they spoke.
          "levi, i don't feel too good." your voice sounded pitiful. you gripped your stomach tightly as you entered the room, broken glass making dreadful sounds as you walked closer to him.
          his grip on hanji's throat slackened, giving them an opportunity to fall to the floor and gasp for breath. he approached meeting you in the middle of the room. his hands cupped your jaw, searching your face for something wrong. "hey, what's wrong?"
          you sniffled. "you weren't in your office. i looked for you and you weren't there."
         "i know." he spoke softly, still examining you. "what else is it?" you threw your head back as a bought of nausea hit you. levi wasn't even doing anything wrong and you were already frustrated with him. irritable didn't even begin to describe how you were reacting.
          "head hurts. stomach aches. i feel hot everywhere and i've got the chills. i'm sick." hanji rolled over from where they were sprawled on the floor, they scratched at their temple as they made their thinking face.
          "maybe slightly more than sick." levi spared a glance at them.
          "levi, what are they going on about?" you ask, tilting your head.
          "nothing!" levi startled himself with how loud he spoke. he tried his best to mask his stress. "absolutely nothing. i am going to get you into bed, and you-" he pointed at hanji, his eyes showing what true hell would await them when they next met. "will stay put until i return." levi ushered you out and into the hallway, hurrying you along to your own room. you, however, weren't cooperating. your movements were sluggish and your reactions were slow. blood was rushing through your ears, making it hard to concentrate and listen to what levi was saying. the both of you were hardly any closer to your barracks. it was a miracle that you had made it all the way to hanji's lab without collapsing to begin with. having to trek all the way back to your room seemed like an impossible feat. you stopped moving, holding onto levi as you felt yourself sway.
          "your bed is closer, can i stay there for a bit?" you hiccupped as you stumbled over your own feet.
          levi's face heated, but he did his best to remain composed. "of course. of course. take your time." with his hands resting on your arm, he escorted you to his office, guiding you to the private bedroom that was connected to it. he ripped back his tightly tucked sheets and helped you to get situated beneath them. before leaving, he spread his nicest blanket over you.
          "come back soon." you whispered as he softly closed the door behind him. he breathed a sigh of relief, which was short lived as he remembered who had been the cause of his. before he even knew it, he was back in hanji's lab, hoisting them up against the wall by their throat.
          hanji held both their hands up in submission. "you know, i really thought we were over this."
          "what's going on with [y/n]? don't bother deflecting, just tell me what you know."
          "the potion would do exactly what you said you wanted! it's not like i had it in stock, or whatever. i made it specially for your use. took a lot of experimenting though. you think [y/n] is in bad shape? you should check on moblit. he's still out of it and it's been four days? on a related note, did you know that bunnies are incapable of vomiting?" levi struck the wall directly beside hanji's face, startling them back on track. "it's just like you said! after this potion, she'll hop right into your bed!" hanji threw their head back and laughed while levi stared in abject horror. 
         before he knew it, he was back inside of his office, staring at the door that separated him from his room. from his bed. from you. he eased the door open, lurking in the doorway as he thought about what awaited him inside the dark room. you, sleepy and curled tightly into the bedding. like a perfect dream. stepping over the threshold had never been easier. 
          what awaited him was anything but what he had conjured in his imagination.
          his sheets were strewn haphazardly across the bed, his blanket long discarded on the floor. the layers of your clothing seemed to have been thrown around the room at random. white undershirt laying by the door, pants by the window, your panties hanging over the edge of the bed. but there you were, prettily propped up with your face shoved into his pillow, muffling all your cute noises, your ass in the air, on display for his eyes only. but that wasn't what got his attention.
          instead of that, it was a perfectly round cotton tail that kept him from looking away. your body was convulsing, chest heaving as your middle and ring fingers were plunging in and out of your soaked cunt. you ignored your clit entirely, feeling so close to bursting that even slightest brush of skin against your bundle of nerves would send you over the edge. you settled for the brutal drag of your fingers inside of your walls, and even though it was painful, you continued to search for that high. you sobbed and cried tears of frustration, shifting your as as you searched for a better angle to crook your fingers, causing the little cotton tail to sway.
          levi's throat seized up, his pants tightening. he must have coughed or made some noise to alert you of his presence because you immediately ceased all movement. your fingers abandoned your wet pussy, fingers dripping with slick. you pressed your hands into the mattress on both sides of your, pushing yourself up off the bed until you were on all fours. your breaths came in quick succession, you felt like you were jumping out of your skin. turning to meet the stoic captain's gaze, your heart raced further. sparing him a heart stopping smirk, you shook your head a little, causing your droopy bunny ears to move with you.
          "levi." you sighed. "help me."
          levi could not move. this is hell. he thought. he must have died. he must be in hell.
          you whined at his lack of motion. shifting slowly across the bed, you pulled yourself up entirely until you were resting on your knees at the foot of the bed. beckoning him closer with both hands. he obeyed. with your hands exploring his chest, levi didn't think he could contain himself much further. the flat surface of your palms rested against the hard planes of his lower stomach, getting closer and closer to dangerous territory. you tilted your head back, lips pouting. 
          "kiss me. i want your mouth. i want to know how it tastes." you became more pained with each second he spent ignoring your pleas. inside, levi was a raging storm of self-doubt. it would be easier to give in. just accept it. he can't undo what has already been done. sealing his fate permanently, he knotted his fingers into your hair, securing his grip against the back of your head. your face contorted in pain, those bunny ears of yours twitched for god's sake. placing your hands upon his shoulders, you tried your best to keep him at a distance as the tug at your scalp became more insistent. 
          "if we're being honest, i've wondered the same thing about you on one or more occasions." he leaned forward closing the space between you, guiding your lips to slot against his. the lips touching yours were softer than you could have dreamed.
          "levi." you didn't know what else to say. carefully tugging him closer as you leaned back, pulling him closer as you settled back onto his bed. "i'm aching for you." your lips abandoned his, tracing the sharp curve of his jawline and resting upon his pulse point before retreating back to his lips. "my tongue feels swollen and my lips are raw." a high pitched moan emerged from you. "don't stop touching me. please."
       "i wouldn't dream of it, little bunny."
114 notes · View notes
thedivineden · 8 months
Text
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pairing: Hange Zoë x Reader
genre: smut
words: 5k+
notes: thigh riding, strap-on, light stalking, manipulation, overstimulation, college students, oral sex
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Hange has been watching you since you transferred to their small university. Your intellect is unparalleled and overlooked — you would always sit in the front quiet and beautiful, hange would watch your glossy lips whisper the answer while the professor is explaining. They would watch you in physics class, the dining hall, and even in the dorm communal bathroom.
The first two weeks they spent learning your schedule so they could cross your path at least once a day. Not too close but not too far. They learned your name, that you major in biochemistry, and that you obtained a full scholarship to this university due to a project you did on structural biology. Everything Hange learns about you, intrigues them even more.
It wasn’t until they were arriving to class early that they spot you disappear through the door. Hange creeps towards the slightly open door to listen in on the conversation. “Professor! I really need an extension this time” your tone is shiny and exaggerated as you hands slam on the instructors desk as your glossy lips form into pout. Hanji could see your game but they just want to see if the instructor could see it too.
Unfortunately, the instructor wasn’t hiding his attraction towards you, he is practically eye-fucking you and keep his attention on your low-cut top. “W-well you are my best student but if you’re having issues, I recommend you talk to your peers! Zoe also seems to be taking a while on this assignment, Maybe you two can help each other out?” He says all of this without looking in your eyes but you didn’t care. The only thing you were concerned with is getting that extension.
“Sooo can I turn it in next Monday?” He nods his head at your question and you thank him gleefully finding a seat directly in front of him to give him a full view of your exposed chest. Hange watches this whole ordeal not realizing the line of students waiting behind them. They open the door letting everyone in praying that no one sits next to you. Once the last person is in, Hanji eyes the open seat next to you quickly passing behind other students mumbling apologies. They look your way slightly and smile and you flash one back at them, Hange swears they could die in this moment and be happy with your sweet smile engrained in their memory. The one thing about you is that you never paid attention to those in your class. You were only concerned with your education and getting out of this small town.
However, this lesson is rather lackluster and you already reviewed the material two weeks ago. The instructor is no longer focused on your seduction so you were officially bored. You look around at your peers and turn to the brown haired individual next to you. There is nothing in particular that makes them stand out but you couldn’t help but notice how close they were to you. Your chair legs are entangled in each other and your legs is touching theirs.
If you couldn’t tease the professor you might as well entertain the stranger with no sense of personal space. Whispering to them “you’re awfully clingy” Hanji looks behind, beside, and even next to you just to make sure you were acknowledging them. You notice the blush spread across their face as they stutter on their words. Hanji couldn’t handle the proximity even if they purposefully positioned their chair close. “I-I can slide over if you want- Of course I’ll scoot over.” You grab one of the closest legs holding their chair in place before they attempt to move away.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind” You say this smooth and low looking at Hange under your long lashes. This sight alone excites them, you were the vision of perfection. You lovely brown skin paired with with your dark aesthetic intrigues and excites them. They lean in to whisper in your ear “I’m Hange but you can call me Zoe if you want..” you watch them side eye the professor who is still facing the board. “I can help you with anything you need like assignments or if you’re bored and want to hang out.” you giggle at the way their voice and leg shake when doing this action.
Hange is nervous and can’t conceal it but convinced themself that they said everything smooth and sultry. “Aaah so you’re the person professor was talking about. I actually could use your help. Are you free this week?” You flash your pearly whites at them putting your hands together to mock a praying motion, Hange shakes their head vigorously up and down.
Hange laughs at your notion and answers with an over-enthusiastic ‘yes’ which rewards a sequel of excitement from you. They didn’t care about the the amount of people grumbling and smacking their teeth at the both of you for disrupting the lecture. So many thoughts about you flick through their subconscious: ‘God they smell so good’ ‘they’re prettier up close’ ‘look how plump their lips are..god what I wouldn’t do-‘ the sound of you ripping a piece of paper snaps Hange out of their trance. They watches as you write a series of numbers on the piece of paper and slid it over to them once you’re done. They look at the series of numbers and practically jumps out their skin when they see your name and written below your number and name is a ‘call me <3’ message.
The rest of the lecture you would rub your leg against Hange and whether it be on purpose or accident they were loving it.
Hange is a mess once their out of class, you made them so nervous their palms were sweaty and their heart is still thumping after you’re gone. Throughout the day Hange kept checking their phone, every chance they got hoping, waiting, for you to text or call them. “Earth to Zoe?” They look up from their device and notice their friends gathering around the dining hall table. “We’ve been trying to get your attention forever, what’s got your attention?” Hanji obsession with you is nothing new but it has been a growing issue among their friends. “Uhh I got their number and I’m just waiting for them to text me back.” Levi is dumbstruck and Erwin is loudly congratulating their friend shooting off a string of questions.
Per usual, Levi being the voice of reason among the three of them “ Remind me why you like them again? As far as I’m concerned they have yet to even acknowledge you exist.” Hanji hates how perceptive and right the young man could be. “They’re really smart..sweet, funny. I feel like we’ll get along well. Answer this, why do you hate them so much?” Levi eyebrows furrow his brows at this question sighing he says “What I said cal out wrong..I just don’t want you getting in trouble. you know what people say about them.”
Hange sucks their teeth feeling frustration rise in them. They knew that Levi didn’t like you but it’s because he hasn’t had a chance to see what they see. He only knows what he hears about you. “They don’t actually do all the thing people say they do. It’s a small town, rumors spread.” Reiner looks between his two friends and notice the uncomfortable tension rising. “Alright!” Erwin exclaims clapping his hands together loudly “Hange, what Levi means to say is to be careful and we both care about you very much and want you to be safe.” He says this in a disgustingly cutesy tone that Levis scoffs at. He continues to eat his lunch in silence while Erwin probes Hange about the interaction.
They were the last to leave to lunch table, between Levis attitude and Erwins persistence the young person is more excited to go back to their dorm and sleep. However, a series of dings from their phone has them fumbling to take it out their pocket dropping it on the floor. Several curses fall out their mouth as they pick up their device and unlocking it. Their heart skips a beat when they read the array of text you sent.
Reader
3:30pm | If you want to get together today around five that would be great!
3:30pm | Oh I’m so rude, hey! I should’ve said that first.
3:31pm | even if you don’t want to get together today that’s also fine!
3:31pm | I should’ve sent that all in one text I’m so sorry
Hange didn’t waste any time with responding to you , telling you it’s okay for you to text them like that and they would love to meet you at five. You respond immediately telling them you’d be in the back of the library. The tiredness that was previously consuming them seems to disappear at the chance of being near you again. Instead on focusing on the lecture Hanges mind is overcome with thoughts of you. Specifically, what you two could possibly study for? You two were the top two students at this university and practically aced everything that came your way. So why had you asked Hange to help you? All of those thoughts disappeared when they arrived to class, setting their items down to pick up a lab coat and safety goggles.
For the next hour and thirty minutes the love struck Hange disappears as they focus on cadaver assigned to them. They don’t even realize their running late to meet you until their professor had turned off the light in the hall which is a usual interaction whenever the absent minded individual is engrossed with their work. Quickly putting up all their materials and storing the body again, Hange makes sure everything is pristine once more before grabbing their phone. The time reads 6:30 and under that is a long stream of text from you and Erwin. They don’t even read your texts and decide to call you. The phone rings for a second before the automated messaging machine starts recite the computerized script.
‘How did I mess it up before it even started’ exiting the class speed walking to the library, they push past the heavy glass doors fingers tapping away on their phone feverishly:
Hange
6:38 pm | Hey! I’m so so sorry! I was in class and I lost track of time. Hopefully you’re still there
It takes approximately 10 minutes to get to the library from the science building. Maybe they should shop you anything text?
Hange
6:40pm | Hey, sorry. Me again! I’m on the way from the science building so it’ll take me 10 minutes. I also called but it went straight to voicemail.
Both texts are read by you at 6:45 pm and you don’t text them back until they’re behind you in the library shooting off apologies and trying to catch their breath. “Uhm. Did you run here?” a puzzled look falls on your face taking note of how Hange white button up is messily untucked from their slacks and their brown hair sticking to the sides their face with sweat. They breath in sharply, ripping the chair beside you from under the table. They take a seat beside you, legs spread in your direction, slowly nodding their head at your statement.
“I’m so sorry! I got caught up in anatomy and did I say I was sorry? I was experimenting with reproductive cloning on a human which I know is unethical and I’ve heard the lecture but I think it’ll be beneficial in the future! I would clone you! Not in a creepy way! Just to-“ Hange didn’t even realize they were rambling until they hear you roar with laughter “God you should see yourself! It’s really no big deal, it’s hot how committed you are and I would want you to clone me.” You hand rest on their leg which only increases the blush already present across their face.
“I would love to hear more about it later but I really have to get going.” a sharp pain pierces their chest..and it’s definitely not because of the running. ‘Are you upset that they were late or do you really have something to do’ the silence from the individual beside you made the situation awkward and that’s the last thing you want. You gather your items and stuff them in your tote — sliding your chair back you place your hand on Hange inner thigh giving them a reassuring smile before planting a small peck on their sweaty cheek. The feeling of your lips touching their cheek makes them go into shock. You flash a small smile at them before getting up and disappearing from their sight.
Hange sighs and wipes the sweat dripping down the forehead. ‘I’m never washing my cheek’ they thought to themselves before getting up and exiting the library and heading towards their dorm. They’re unexpectedly greeted by Erwin and Levi sitting on their floor oddly close drinking beers. Beers from Hanges stash might they add.. “Why are you guys in here and how did you even get in here?” they jump away from each other taking a drink from their beers.
Erwin clears his throat “We want-“ Levi is quick to correct “ERWIN wants to know how your little study session went with the cheater” Hange is quick to snatch the beer from him and furrow their brows. “First, how many of these have you two had? Second, they’re not a cheater. I’ve never even seen them talk to anyone so how could they possibly be cheating? Not to mention they’re top of our class” Erwin finishes his bottle standing up and gripping their friend shoulders. “Don’t listen to him. He’s just mad about his new roommate being a slob, how did it go?”
Hange could hear the young man grumble about the various complaints he’s made because of how filthy he is. “W- I came late and they had to leave..but I did say I would clone them and they said I could!” the grip around their shoulders disappears as their friend gives them a reassuring smile and nod. “Well that’s definitely something..there’s always another time?” Hange knew exactly when they would ask you. Around two-twenty in the morning you go to the communal and at exactly two-nineteen they were coming out of the stall to wash their hands.
A sleepy you in a silk bonnet and shorts pajama set shuffles into the bathroom right on time. They rip a piece of paper towel loudly snapping your attention in their direction. “Oh my!! Zoe! We live in the same dorm?! Since when?” Hange finds it cute that you never noticed them in the bathroom with you. They like that you’re oblivious to their pursuit. Feigning sleepiness they respond “I’ve been here since the fall, yeah I don’t know how we never noticed each other”.
Seeing them put together is one thing but at night is different. They’re standing in front of you with their hair down in an oversized white teeshirt , long blue pajama pants, and dinosaur slippers? You giggle at their choice of footwear “I like you slippers. Very cute.” You smile at them not caring about them slowly closing the gap between you two. They reach for your waist pulling you closer and you immediately laugh pushing them away rushing to a stall.
“Keep it in your pants Zoe now leave so I can pee.” Hange laughs at you leaving the bathroom with a final statement “Have a night darling”.
Now that you are aware of their presence you can’t help but search for them during dorm activities, meetings, and even at two-twenty in the morning when you have to pee. Hange knew better than to keep the same routine they had with you before. However, they made sure to keep you on your toes deciding to no long appear at night anymore. You just weren’t ready for that yet.
For the next two days Hange didn’t hear from you and they aren’t second to you for no reason. They preferred to not have to deal with the responsibility and speech that comes with being valedictorian. Wanting to uphold their salutatorian title for the next two days they were nose deep in school work and projects. The third day you two have class together and they made sure sit in the exact same seat as last time. A gaggle of students stagger in taking their seats eyeing hange satchel is taking the seat to their left.
They didn’t care about the amount of nasty stares they were getting. This seat is for you.
You didn’t show for the first part of lecture and as time went on it didn’t look like you were showing up for the second part either. Hange waited patiently the whole hour and forty-five minute lecture for you to show but you never did. The first thing they did when class is over is text you. Not without thinking of the obvious desperation they would give off but what if something actually is wrong? ‘Something simple will do’
Hange
12:00PM | Hey! Sorry for texting you so early but you didn’t show up for class and I just wanted to make sure everything is okay?
Hange waited a while just to see that little grey bubble pop up and when it did their heart flutters. ‘Clearly they just overslept or something’ they wait and wait for the message to come through only to see the chat bubble disappear. For once, the young individual is irritated with you. How dare you read their message and not respond? What could be so important that you can’t shoot them a text?
Stepping outside of their lecture hall their met with the sight of you. Sitting about 10 feet away from there, adorned in black and pink from head to toe. The sight of you, standing there in a mini skirt almost makes Hanjis nose bleed. Your hair is braided today but instead of your usual you seem to have added a pink braided skunk strip. This makes them want to pounce on you even more. The sound of their phone ding breaks their concentration unlocking their phone they could see your one word response
Reader
12:05PM | Outside!
Hange laughs at the text and calls your name out to get your attention. You whip your head around flashing them a heart stopping smile, standing up meeting them halfway. “Hey! I was trying to make it to class but I was up late doing my hair. Are you free? I was wondering if we could get an afternoon session in” They just shook their head eagerly at your question and before they knew it you were grabbing their hand and dragging them towards your shared dorm building.
During the walk your hands remained intertwined as the two of you swap information and stories about one another. The more you two talk the closer you two got and the closer you two became, the tension kept rising. Hange could feel their palms sweating as the slew of thoughts consume their mind. ‘Are we going to their room?’ ‘Will we go to mine?’ ‘Are we just going to study?’ ‘God they smell so good’ ‘ they’re so pretty’
Scanning your ID at the door and walking past the front counter you could hear Erwin attempt to quietly congratulate hange as you two disappeared behind the double doors to your hall. You suddenly stop at the beginning of the hall and look at hange, “So your room or mine?” the plan is set and you’re laying the bait. “We can go to mine, my roommate practically lives in her girlfriends room.” You laugh at their statement “wait who’s your roommate?” Hange walks you down the hall “Ymir but you probably haven’t met her yet. She’s always traveling with the lacrosse team and when she is here, again, she’s in her girlfriend Krista room” you two finally reach the end of the hall where they pull their ID without letting go of you hand to unlock the door.
“Please don’t be freaked out when we get in” they say pushing the door open letting you in first. “Why would I fre-“ stepping into hange’s room is like stepping into a morgue. There’s a shelf across you adorned with jars filled with mystery parts, a skeleton next to their desk that has plastic eyeballs glued in it, and multiple tapestry that either display different female anatomy. “Oh..this is nicee?” Hange burst out in a fit of laughter “You don’t have to lie! Trust me.” They come up behind you placing a hand on the small of your back to lead you to the jars.
“It’s a prosthetic in gelatin, I’m not a manic. Just a person in enthralled with human anatomy.” The tension between you two is suffocating but you have to stay focused. “I forgot my stuff, can I send you my paper and we do it on your computer?” Hange didn’t even think about asking you to go back to your room to get your things because they want to have you in their space as long as they can. Pulling out their desk chair sitting down they open their computer“Of course, let me give you my email” during this process their eyes were trained on you so you decide to give them what they want.
I can just type mine in for you and without warning you sit in their lap. Hange is baffled by your boldness but the feeling of your plush ass on them makes the shock go away. “Um- I can do it for you-, you don’t have to” You shift around on their lap causing your skirt to rise up and expose your thong. “Don’t worry, we’ll get it done faster this way” you pull down your skirt but continue to slightly shuffle in the hanjis lap. The heat between you two is intensifying gradually feeling their slender fingers trail up both your thighs slowly eventually finding their place on your hips. Moving you to their right slightly puts you on their thigh. A low voice emanates from behind you “since you want to squirm so much, use my thigh to get off”
A spark goes through your body as your start to grind slowly on their lap. Their hands remain on your lap assisting your hip movement even adding their own tempo to tease you. The moment you take your hands off the keyboard the grip on their hips tighten holding you in place. “You need to do you work, I don’t want to be a distraction” you start to whine and try to move your hips “if I do my work will you keep going?” Hange is mesmerized at the way you’re acting, they usually see you in a quiet state but lately you’ve been downright filthy and they were loving it.
“Yeah beautiful, I’ll keep going”
So that’s exactly what you did — sending your paper to their email downloading it and starting to type it out and make your edits. Once you become engrossed in your work is when hanji starts to move your hips. The grip that held you in place is now knead at them slowly. Everything they were doing is pure bliss. You can feel the throbbing between your thighs making it harder for you to concentrate. You desperately whisper out their name accidentally messing up your edit. They lift their thigh up harshly making you hole throb in response and a sweet moan to escape your plump lips. “Valedictorian shouldn’t be messing up their edits.” You sneer at their statement which makes hange snap their thigh up again.
“Don’t get an attitude with me, you were the one grinding on my lap. This is what you wanted right?” You never imagined for them to be so harsh but it is making you want to fuck them even more. “Hange you’re being meannn” you sound winded and your legs are shaking as hange picks up speed and starts bouncing their leg. Your moans start to become rhythmic as you try to quicken your release. Hanji didn’t mind, they like seeing you desperate and sloppy because of them. Conservatism has long left your body and your skirt is on your hips and your top is below your chest. Hange has been bouncing you on their thigh commanding you to keep going as the lick two fingers on each hand grabbing your nipples with their saliva covered fingers.
The slimy sensation perks your nipples allowing hanji to massage and tease your puffy brown nipples as your climax edges closer. A string of curses and repetition of Hanjis name signals them to pull your nipples releasing the tension between your supple thighs. Your legs are shaking beneath you prompting the unholy grip on the mahogany desk in front of you. Hange laughs at your current state “can’t handle it?” Although they are extremely cute you want to crush their cockiness. “Please! you aren’t the first to make me cum, get over yourself”
This made their blood boil. “Fine, let’s try something else” they grab you by your arm leading you to their bed. “Get up there, take your thong off and lay on the edge.” You don’t know why but you obey every command and wait as they move their desk chair to the edge of the bed. “Put your legs over my shoulders babe”your movements were slow but confident, you knew what you wanted but you nervous of the outcome. Now here you were, spread in front of Hange Zoë waiting for them to finish inspecting you in between your thighs. Embarrassment is increasing every passing minute they continue to stare and not say anything. “I can leave, if you’re just going to judge”
A puzzled look spreads across their face, “darling, I was merely appreciating you but since you’re so impatient” you can feel their tongue stride along your throbbing heat the sensation made the wait worth it. The feeling of their mouth devouring you reminds you of a demon trying to take someone’s soul. “Hange~ slow down, please” they only hummed in response swirling their tongue around your aching arousal earning a whiny moan from you. Their pace is patterned — slow then they go deep, picking up the pace before sloppily sucking to the top of your pulsating mound. The air is thick, your braids are sticking to your body, and you can feel your release coming soon.
Hange is abusing your flesh at a relentless pace the tightness below finally snaps ruining the edge of Hange’s sheets and the floor below. They life their head up greeting you with a overzealous grin. “I bet not everyone makes you do this” a tired laugh escapes your lips “For someone who can’t ask me on a date you have a lot of mouth”. Their face becomes red instantly resulting in them scooting the chair away from you and tuning around. “Let’s try something else, think you’re up for it?” Your silence is deafening and Hange knew this is the part where you would leave after getting head. “If it’s with you, I’m up for anything.”
Opening their desk drawer they pull out a medium sized velvet box with a devilish smirk. They turn around and reveal a dildo. “You ever been strapped before?” Hange insist on trying doggy for your first time and promises “to use an adequate amount of lube even though you have been prepared” you roll eyes when they add the last part but they were extremely gentle and sweet throughout the whole process. The feeling of the rubber tip at your entrance snaps you from your trance, hanji teases your slick entrance slightly with one hand on your hip while one slides the head in slowly and working the rest in with it. “Are you okay love?” You moan in response as the shaft slides in slowly jerking back in response.
“Go faster Hanji” Your breathy moan commanding them provokes urgency within Hange. You feel their hand grab a handful of your braids pulling you back forcing an arch. “Don’t forget you asked for it babe” Hange hips start to thrust at lighting speed using your hair as leverage to angle their body to hit your sweet spot. “God! You’re so fucking beautiful like this. I’ve wanted you for so long!” Hange kept spewing different confessions while mercilessly pound into you. “I’ve known about us living near eachother since you moved in! I want-no. NEED to have you”
“HANGE!! Stop tal-king” your voice cracks saying this and hanji see your body go limp as you release on the bed. You didn’t have a chance to process what the young person had said but when you did you were up and putting you clothes on. “He- Wait, Where are you going?” “I have mountains worth of homework to do, you didn’t expect me to have sex with you all day?” You laugh at the thought and take the time to decide whether you were going to put your fishnets back. The lack of underwear makes it difficult — you didn’t even hear hanji shuffle out of bed over to you wrapping their arms around you, moving your hair to the side they burying their head in the crook of you neck and say “If I do your homework..will you stay with me today”
A sly grin spread across your face and disappears as you turn around to face them. “That’s too much! I couldn’t expect you to do that” their eyes light up at the chance of you saying yes. “It would be my pleasure!” you didn’t think it would be this easy to get the salutatorian to do your homework but if all you had to do is have bomb sex who were you to block a blessing?
“Thank you Hange” you say sweetly placing a kiss on their sweaty cheek.
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