#Hi this is my dog Widget shes my life shes so cute

[cuosiscrazy]

My dog :) Isn't she cute?

[natreviewsbooks]

Fat Chance, Charlie Vega FCCV Book Tour

I’m ecstatic to talk about this next book, because I’ve been waiting for its release since early last fall. For a lot of people, it’s rare to find a book that ticks off so many boxes in terms of rep. For me, it was near all. Brown skinned, fat, and nerdy protagonist who loves to write, and is struggling with some self confidence issues? Let me just say that after finishing this book, I feel so seen, and am so honored that Turn the Page Tours selected me as a host to review this amazing title. This book is such a gentle yet fierce breath of fresh air that I think will resonate with many. I loved this book from start to finish, and found myself in tears at how visible I felt after reading this book. Crystal manages to make this connection with the reader that goes beyond superficial. It’s a story that you read and go “She’s telling MY story”. You’re going to want to add this book to your TBR. 

Before I get too far into my love for this book, let’s talk about what it’s about! Make sure to stick around until the end, because I’ve got a giveaway for you to enter!

Synopsis: 

Coming of age as a Fat brown girl in a white Connecticut suburb is hard.

Harder when your whole life is on fire, though.

Charlie Vega is a lot of things. Smart. Funny. Artistic. Ambitious. Fat.

People sometimes have a problem with that last one. Especially her mom. Charlie wants a good relationship with her body, but it’s hard, and her mom leaving a billion weight loss shakes on her dresser doesn’t help. The world and everyone in it have ideas about what she should look like: thinner, lighter, slimmer-faced, straighter-haired. Be smaller. Be whiter. Be quieter.

But there’s one person who’s always in Charlie’s corner: her best friend Amelia. Slim. Popular. Athletic. Totally dope. So when Charlie starts a tentative relationship with cute classmate Brian, the first worthwhile guy to notice her, everything is perfect until she learns one thing–he asked Amelia out first. So is she his second choice or what? Does he even really see her? UGHHH. Everything is now officially a MESS.

A sensitive, funny, and painful coming-of-age story with a wry voice and tons of chisme, Fat Chance, Charlie Vega tackles our relationships to our parents, our bodies, our cultures, and ourselves.

Review: 

I tend to be pretty easy to please when it comes to enjoying books. However, getting to where I cry for a book is pretty rare. From the beginning of this book, I felt connected to Charlie in a way that I’d never connected to a character in a book before. She’s a young woman who’s full of life, but filled with reservations about herself, and compares herself to others, especially her best friend Amelia. I won’t lie, that last bit in itself was hard for me to read. Because it was like looking into a mirror of what high school was like for me. I was/am the fat best friend. Her relationship with her mom is good, but strained when it comes to talking about weight. Her mom can’t accept the fact that Charlie can be happy being the size that she is. 

The more you read, the more you get sucked into this story, and the more you become invested into the characters. I think all readers will love the dynamic that Charlie and Amelia share, and at the same time, want to give Charlie a hug as she navigates the incredibly cruel realities that sometimes happen in high school. Charlie’s biggest insecurity is being compared Amelia, but it’s enhanced even more when it comes to romantic relationships. Her biggest hang-up is not being the second choice to someone. Enter Brian. Brian is awesome. He’s such a sensitive guy, and I loved seeing him interact with Charlie. I can’t wait to see fan art of these two together. 

I’m going to try not to write an essay, but seriously, you should pick this book up. It’s not too fast paced, and there’s a lot to unpack (and I won’t discuss it all here, even more reason for you to get it ;)) in terms of self-confidence, racial identity, and more. One of the more interesting aspects of this book were the discussions of Charlie’s Puerto Rican heritage and not feeling connected to it as she doesn’t speak Spanish, but also not presenting as “white” enough to be accepted by her peers. This book is introspective and I was HERE for it. I beg of you, if you choose to read something this year for good representation AND diverse representation, this is it. For me this is a 5/5 read and I encourage EVERYONE to have it on their TBR list. 

Book information: 

Book Title: Fat Chance, Charlie Vega

Author: Crystal Maldonado

Publisher: Holiday House

Release Date: February 2, 2021

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Goodreads link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53399306-fat-chance-charlie-vega  

Book Purchase link:

https://holidayhouse.com/book/fat-chance-charlie-vega/  

Author Bio:

Crystal Maldonado is a young adult author with a lot of feelings. Her debut novel, FAT CHANCE, CHARLIE VEGA (Holiday House), will be released on Feb. 2, 2021.

By day, she is a social media manager working in higher ed, and by night, a writer who loves Beyoncé, shopping, the internet, and being extra.

She lives in western Massachusetts with her husband, daughter, and dog.

Author Links:

https://www.crystalwrote.com/  

https://www.instagram.com/crystalwrote/  

https://twitter.com/crystalwrote  

https://www.facebook.com/crystalwrote  

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19798656.Crystal_Maldonado  

GIVEAWAY:

Enter to win one (1) finished copy of Fat Chance, Charlie Vega by Crystal Maldonado! Open USA only. There will be 1 winner.

Giveaway starts: Monday, February 8, 2021

Giveaway ends: Monday, February 15, 2021 at 12:00 a.m. CST

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[heartsoundslikelove]

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s time for the wonderful weekly wows of thankfulness! Let’s do this!

1. The Katzenjammer Kids – Not only is this fun to say, it’s a classic comic from looooong ago. They even made a postage stamp for them. It’s HERE Go and check this out on THIS SITE Comics, in general have always been my go to for entertainment. Back when I was a child I bought multiple packs of comics where you wouldn’t know what you got, except the one on top. It was always fun to see the reveal. Fortunately, I rarely found a comic I didn’t like and my brothers would find them interesting, otherwise. I think that was part of the fun. It was hoping I would find something to share with them. While I don’t subscribe to a newspaper anymore, I still look at the comics whenever I happen upon a paper.

2. Dogs I have known – I am in a reminiscent mood of late and I am thinking of the dogs who have influenced my life. Sport, who didn’t live long in our home and found a place on a farm, because he bit me. I cried when he left. Barney the beagle who lived in our hearts. I like how he always checked on my little brother, just making sure he was okay. And how he barked at toast. And ate my lunchmeat one too many times when I turned my back. And who played with Rowdy the neighbor dog, fighting over an old pillow while each had a end of it and would get in Barney’s house and run around and around with the darned pillow clenched in their mouths. Thump Thump Thump. Then Sam who preferred the outdoors much of the time. He was our watchdog. He was super laid back and some kind of mutt. Then there was Pee Wee, who was part peekapoo and part dachshund who got his name for the obvious. He was quite the dog and brave for his size. Then Patsy came along after Pee Wee died. Daddy suggested a beagle again and he was right on about Patsy. She was the sweetest. She rarely barked and was very simply a nice companion. Then there was Sandy, Maya, Hannah and Shakespeare. That’s enough dogs for this lifetime, doncha think? I won’t be having any more dogs, but I sure love when I can love on other’s doggies.

Pee Wee

3. Cuisine – I’ve been bored with my cooking lately and WARNING!! When you get older, your taste buds change. Some days I can barely taste what I’m eating other than to say it’s salty or sweet. I use more spices than maybe others do simply to try and put some flavor in there. A friend was making tacos yesterday and inspired me to try roasting peppers, onions a mushrooms. I could actually taste quite a bit of these, so that’s a win. I suppose that stronger tasting foods are going to be my choice. And I thought that if I could not taste so well that would mean apathy leading to weight loss. No, it does not work that way. You still try to find some things that taste good. No worries, though, because the weight is still becoming a loss. If you really want to see what I had you have to go to this LINK

4. Flea Market finds AND a friend who will pick them up and deliver them – welp – not really, but I saw these two chairs by the dumpster where I live and grabbed them. They are going to be picked up today by my friend and used on the patio of my daughter’s home. Aren’t they cute? I didn’t keep the ball.

5. Art – I’ve been in a creative funk of late when it comes to my art. Last Monday I got together with a dear friend and we did some artsy stuff before we did some writing stuff. I took a picture of the asphalt cracks a good while ago and from that I was able to create this image of what I will call Lady on the Bridge.

6. Six Sentence Story – I am working hard on story crafting and this group helps me to stretch my brain cells. Here this weeks story and I will warn you that it’s not a happy story, but I believe it will have a happy ending. You just gotta believe! Here is the STORY

7. Angel Card Project – We participate in the Angel Card Project and while the focus is on Christmas cards we expand to other cards when a need comes up. The leader/creator of the group has a Facebook page and if you would like to join, that would be awesome. Many of the card recipients are people who are lonely and need to know there are people who care about them, regardless of being strangers. After all, a friend is a stranger until you meet them. Here’s the link to the Angel Card Project page.

8. Errand Buddy – Each week when I run errands, mostly grocery shopping, I have a bestie who goes with me. While we are running about we solve most of the problems of the world. So, if you find that it’s a better place out there, you are welcome.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

9. Messy Desk – Right now, I would not take a picture of my desk as it is very messy. That is something to be thankful for. A messy desk is a sign of production and I have been trying and it shows.

10. Invitations – You are invited to be a part of Ten Things of Thankful. Why not join in and share about your week? It is inspiring to hear about life and it’s challenges and overcoming adversities. Now, more than EVER we need the connection of love, caring, sharing to hold each other up. So my 10th thankful is that I am able to invite YOU to a place at the gratitude table. Come sup with us and leave feel satisfied. I may even cook some greens and cornbread for you. Or do you need sweet tea?

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I like that expression!!

Sooooooo, drum roll!!! Here’s where you go to Link Up!!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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  Ten Things of Thankful – August 16 It's time for the wonderful weekly wows of thankfulness! Let's do this! 1. The Katzenjammer Kids - Not only is this fun to say, it's a classic comic from looooong ago.

[jafreitag]

Jane’s World: Blondie – Parallel Lines

Hi. It’s Jane.

I’m locked on a summer track. That’s pretty rare for me because (a) I don’t like hot weather, and (b) I don’t generally like singles. More of a deep cut gal. But Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”? I can’t even stop. It followed me around town for a month. I heard it on the car radio, then at a party, then at another party, then at a club. Then on some curated playlist in the shower. Then at another party. And then at the freaking grocery store. That’s when I just succumbed to the goodness and started dancing and singing along in the produce section. My gf was not amused. When I put it on at home, she coined the term “fleek-peat,” and ok. Good.

So we all know Deborah Harry and her band. They’re pretty famous, I guess. For “Heart of Glass,” and a handful of other songs. I always thought of them as a greatest-hits package. And that’s mostly true, but their 1978 record Parallel Lines is a masterpiece. It’s post-punk (before that was a thing), it’s new-wave (before that was a thing), it’s garage, it’s camp. It’s both CBGBs and Studio 54, if that makes sense. It’s a canny distillation of pop tropes from the ’50s and ’60s, in the context of ’70s NYC.

Blondie’s first two records struggled to find an audience. (“Rip Her to Shreds” off the self titled debut is wicked; “Denis,” a Randy & The Rainbows cover off the follow-up, Plastic Letters, is cute.) Their third did. Here’s Pitchfork’s Scott Plagenhoef: “The swift move from the fringes to the top of the charts tagged Blondie as a singles group – no shame, and they did have one of the best runs of singles in pop history – but it’s helped Parallel Lines weirdly qualify as an undiscovered gem, a sparkling record half-full of recognized classics that, nevertheless, is hiding in plain sight.”

Amen. And, apparently, it was a pain in the ass for everyone involved. Particularly, Aussie producer Mike Chapman. Debbie disliked him because “they were from New York, and he was LA.” The rest of the band disliked him because, well, they weren’t very good. According to the PL wiki, a primary source here, Chapman called them “the worst band he had ever worked with in terms of musical ability. He continued:

 “The Blondies were tough in the studio, real tough. None of them liked each other, except [guitarist] Chris [Stein] and Debbie, and there was so much animosity. They were really, really juvenile in their approach to life – a classic New York underground rock band – and they didn’t give a fuck about anything. They just wanted to have fun and didn’t want to work too hard getting it.”

I mean, dude, who does? Eventually, Chapman’s influence yielded results in only six weeks. (The wiki talks about how he did a neat tape trick called “pencil erasing” to make the bass top the drum kick.) And he coaxed a virtuoso vocal performance out of Debbie by turning her attention to her “phrasing, timing, and attitude.” He didn’t bother with her New Yawk accent, and thank goodness. She’s all there. The lead track, “Hanging on the Telephone,” could’ve kicked off Patti Smith’s Radio Ethiopia from two years earlier. The only difference is the production. PL, as a piece, is shiny. All the edges haven’t been so much sanded smooth, as polished and emphasized.

(That’s a vintage Polaroid from Patti pal Robert Mapplethorpe. Check out her hair, omg.)

It’s such a kick-ass record. The guitar solo on “One Way or Another” is huge, and the incessant organ outro under Debbie’s vocals is the template for so much early ’80s music. “Picture This” seems like an Edith Piaf cover. “Pretty Baby” and “Sunday Girl” would’ve sounded great on the radio in the 1950s. “11:59” and “I’m Gonna Love You Too” would’ve sounded great on the radio in the 1960s. Total girl group pop. “Fade Away and Radiate” is Roxy-level art-rock. And “Will Anything Happen” is pretty happening, especially the jaw-dropping “if you do” slide into the chorus.

Plaggenhoef called PL “one of the most accomplished pop albums of its time.” I’d add of all time. Listen for yourself.

Oh. I can’t do a Spotify widget and a YouTube widget in the same post. Not sure why. The IT team is supposedly “working on it,” which means those jokers can’t figure out a solution. (Speaking of teams and solutions, the Outreach-and-Marketing team should figure out how to get me in touch with Debbie. She’s not getting younger, and I have many Q’s for her A’s.) Anyway, check out the beyond dreamy “Heart of Glass” video HERE.

Next month, I’m going to talk about Joni and grass. And the sooner that I finish, I can vacay. So it might be in a week or so.

Love to my gf and my dogs.

JTB

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[brianobrienny]

The Role of Social Media in a Rocking Content Marketing Strategy

I’m a big believer in making the content you publish the hub around which your content marketing strategy revolves. However, to rock content marketing in today’s omni-channel world, social media plays a key supporting role.

For that reason, it pays to learn how to leverage social media to draw your target audience into your content hub. Here are several ways to make your social strategy put in an Oscar-winning performance.

Quick Takeaways:

Your content marketing strategy needs more than a perfectly optimized website.

Complement your strategy with aligned social media posts to capture more qualified prospects.

Use customer research and employee-created content to move those prospects further along the sales funnel.

You know that movie that people always misquote – Field of Dreams? “If you build it, he will come” is the actual quote.

But everyone I know cites it as, “If you build it, they will come.” As if to say, “If you build an SEO-optimized, user-friendly, intuitive website with killer content, audiences will simply float in.

As if some mysterious siren song will draw them like a moth to light.

But they won’t just float in. Nor will the mysterious “he,” for that matter.

Even if you’ve optimized like crazy to attract Mr. Top Customer Persona.

But if you create the right role for social media in your content marketing strategy, you’re on your way to marketing stardom. Here’s how:

Align Your Social and Content Strategies with Your Brand

As NewsCred’s Gaby Tama rightly points out, you need to create a “documented, full-funnel [social media] strategy that’s fully integrated with your content marketing program.” The best way to do that, we’ve discovered, is to align both with your brand.

Look at Disney, for instance. By staying true to their brand, all their messaging aligns with one distinctive brand voice – feel-good heroes’ journeys. All with storybook endings.

Although they have expanded their channels from cartoons to live-action films and even live entertainment, all their content stays true to their brand.

That’s what you need to do with your content. Find your (brand) voice, and then align all your content – whatever the channels you publish it on – with one voice.

Find Your Tribe(s)

Social media works best when you’re, um, social. Finding your tribe – those people who will be likely to benefit from your expertise and your products, in that order – is an essential ingredient in social media success.

Start by creating customer personas. Look at your existing social media audience, your blog subscribers, and your actual paid customers.

Identify groups that share specific characteristics that make them likely customers. These characteristics might be demographic ones, online behavior, interests, social media likes, and other commonalities.

For example, let’s say that you manufacture nail polish. You might have one group of likely customers who are tween girls, love all things glitter, subscribe to your teen-and-tween-themed YouTube nail makeover videos, and like the latest boy bands. They often sport Gen Z names like Zoey and Addison.

Don’t stop there. Give this group a name – a persona to make its members come alive to your content teams. Let’s call this one “Zoey Gen-Zer.”

Another group you see a lot of engagement out of are middle-aged sophisticates who buy your high-end line in upscale department stores. They make plenty of money, usually head departments, or are headed in that direction, trend liberal, and favor designer and rescue doggos (yes, they call them that).

LinkedIn might be their business favorite, while they probably frequent dog owner groups. A lot of them are your tween customers’ moms.

As you can see, this group would consume way different content than your “Zoey” persona would. Quite probably, their favorite social hangouts differ, too. We’ll call this audience segment “High-End Heather.”

You get the picture. No matter how boring you think your product is, your likely customers are anything but. Make your personas memorable, and you’ll have better luck creating content those in each group will devour – and share with their friends and colleagues.

Once you’ve created these personas, start posting links to content that will appeal to each segment. Informative content that helps them solve problems (even if it’s how to flash your fingers at that cute boy two seats behind you in school) builds trust in your brand, and ultimately, loyalty.

Most social media channels allow you to choose the audience who will see your posts. Use that capability to drive them to your owned media.

Use each customer segment’s preferred social media channels, posting at the ideal times to reach them. Again, analytics can help. See when they’re on – and post your content then.

That’s just one part of building a tribe. Encourage each customer segment to interact with each other and with your brand.

You can encourage these connections by interacting with your followers by asking questions, responding to comments, and encouraging them to connect with each other and your team.

Encourage them to share with their friends and colleagues. Expanding your online tribes will allow you to expand your reach into new markets. As you identify new customer segments, create customer personas for those as well.

The goal, of course, is to draw them into your subscribers’ list and for them to become loyal content consumers on your owned channels as well. As they connect on deeper and deeper levels, you want to encourage them to consume more detailed content, building your authority in your field.

For instance, for our fictional nail polish company, the tween customers might start with short YouTube makeover videos. As they interact more with your content, offer them the opportunity to subscribe for more detailed videos and how-tos.

On the other hand, if your company sells to other businesses (B2B), you might start with thought-provoking short pieces on LinkedIn. Eventually, you’ll want to encourage them to come on over to your company blog for “the rest of the story.”

As your B2B customer segments move along the road toward trust and loyalty, offer white papers or ebooks that help them save money, solve problems, and increase efficiency. Building your reputation as a thought leader in your niche, starting with social media, is a sure way to make your content strategy not only rock – but even better – soar with the eagles.

Empower Your Other Teams to Engage

If you’re a regular reader of our blog posts, you know we’re big on leveling the silos that divide up your teams into “departments.” Departmental silos that delegate all the content production to the marketing team waste a huge amount of talent – and potential revenue.

Not only is activating your employees marketing magic, but even more importantly, it builds your other teams’ passion for their work. You can only imagine how that pays off in productivity.

That’s not all. Your employees are likely to have ten times more followers on their personal social channels than your *official* branded channels.

If even half of these followers have similar interests to your employees, that’s a lot of potential customers that could come your way. Seventy-six percent of those potential customers, as Everyone Social points out, are more likely to trust your employee-shared content than your content teams’ social media posts.

The results that come out of that trust are stunning. Your brand messages are likely to reach 561 percent more likely customers when your employees share them.

Employee-shared content will receive, on average, eight times the engagement of your official social posts. The kind of engagement that converts tire-kickers into qualified leads is more likely to come when you empower your employees to post on social media.

And, here’s the best news of all. Those leads are seven times more likely to convert than leads your official teams bring in.

You can turbocharge your social media’s role in your content strategy if you bring your employees in on the act.

Social media is also the easiest way to bring your other teams on to the content stage. Short posts – even those that link to your marketing team-produced content – are effective and easy to create.

“But my head engineer can’t spell to save her life,” you protest. “Why should I let her post content?”

You do have editors, don’t you?

Let your employees create posts, and then have your editorial team (or even your copywriters) check for grammatical or spelling errors. But don’t clean them up so well that your employees’ authentic voices don’t show through.

Your engineer might just provide the technical nudge that convinces your prospect to buy your widget. Yeah. That differential equation she posted and then explained in laypersons’ terms might be the one piece of information your prospect needs to drive his decision.

Provide brand guidelines, teach your teams how to optimize their posts, and then turn your teams loose to spread the word.

Like the ingenue that steals the show in a hit movie, your employees’ social media posts can make your marketing strategy sizzle.

To get them involved, you’ll need a little incentive. Whether it’s financial bonuses, career-boosting courses, or even just recognition for their efforts, find out what would motivate them to walk onto the social media stage.

One thing I’ve observed, both here in my own company and in my clients’ firms, is that participation in social media posting helps employees advance within their companies. It builds confidence and their visibility as thought leaders, making them more valuable to the business.

It’s a win-win proposition.

Well-thought social posts from both your content team and other employees will bring more qualified traffic to your online assets.

If you are ready to get more traffic to your site with quality content published consistently, check out our Content Builder Service.

Set up a quick consultation, and I’ll send you a free PDF version of my books. Get started today – and generate more traffic and leads for your business.

The post The Role of Social Media in a Rocking Content Marketing Strategy appeared first on Marketing Insider Group.

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[ronaldmorton]

Gift Guide for Dog Parents

Check out this gift guide for dog parents to help you with great gifts for the holidays and beyond.

One of the coolest parts of what I do for a living is that I get to see a ton of dog and dog lover products throughout the year. I travel to pet industry trade shows, talk to the inventors of pet products, and I get news alerts on the very latest for dogs and dog parents.

Whether you are shopping for a dog mom, dog dad, or perhaps a gift for yourself, this gift guide will help you with some fabulous finds that make for unique and memorable presents.

Easy to use gift guides are my favorites, so that is the goal of this guide and the others that can be found below. There are 20 gift ideas in this guide, broken out into five categories with four items in each category. We are including items from $5 bucks and those in the $200 range, too.

This post may contain affiliate links for which I earn a small income if you click through and purchase something on the links. Please see my disclosure policy for details.

Apparel for Dog Parents

These are four of our favorite picks for dog parent apparel, from the dog mom to the dog dad and we even tossed in two items we own. If you click through, you can select the size and type you want for each.

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Office Gifts for Dog Parents

I get through my workday surrounded by dog-themed items. Here are a few picks that make nice stocking stuffers:

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Personalized Gifts for Dog Parents

The highest quality sultana burlap and inks are used for this beautiful burlap print, and it is one of the more unique prints I have seen on Etsy.

Dog Mom Personalized Burlap Print

  This solid beech wood rolling pin is perfect for the pastry chef in your life! It can be used as decór or these personalized rolling pins can be used to brand your cookies or pies! I love the personalized name feature and the paw print, as I had never seen these before. The price doesn’t break the bank:

Personalized Dog Paw Print with Name Rolling Pin

This personalized family ornament is one that you’ll gift yourself and the dog lover on your list, too. I love the elegance and attention to detail from this artist, don’t you?

Personalized Family Christmas Ornament

Custom Painting: Ryan Jordan has been “creating art” ever since he could lift a crayon. In the past few years, he’s taken it from a casual hobby to a passionate career path. Working on art and seeing it completed brings Ryan great joy and satisfaction. There’s always a dog or a cat nearby during this process, usually interrupting him for some affection. His artwork is spot on and will make a treasured keepsake. Check out the portraits or the mini paintings he can do of your dog. Here’s a sample of his lovely work below and a link for you to purchase.

Ryan Jordan Artwork

Jewelry for Dog Parents

Get your favorite breed in this hug for your hand: Your love of dogs portrayed in this unique, fashion-forward Dog Fever hug ring! I happen to have it in the Cocker Spaniel version.

Dog Fever Hug Ring

Gift for pet lover! Simple paw print earrings, let your pet close to your heart and comfort you. High polish finish, solid .925 Sterling Silver Cat Dog Paw Print Stud Earrings with White Gold Plated. 

Sterling Silver Puppy Dog Paw Print Stud Earrings

  This one is divine! Crafted in 925 sterling silver, this two-drop design features an open paw print lined with shimmering cubic zirconia and an open rose gold plated sterling silver heart pendant.

GuqiGuli “Love and Good Luck” Sterling Silver Dog Paw with Rose Gold Heart Charms Pendant Necklace, 18”

Sterling Silver Heart with Paw Print Charm. Adorned with a cute cut out paw print, this heart charm shows our love for the fuzzy friends in our lives.

Sterling Silver Heart with Paw Print Charm

Memorial Gifts for Dog Parents

Don’t forget the dog parent on your list whose dog has crossed to the Rainbow Bridge. It is particularly difficult at the holidays for those who have lost a dog, no matter if the passing occurred this year or not. A dog mom or dog dad will certainly appreciate a caring remembrance of their beloved dog. Here are a few ideas:

A Forever Treasured Customized Keepsake: Lucy Francis Maloney is a genius in creating miniature dog sculptures. With the help of German glass eyes as well as fine alpaca, cashmere, silk, and wool, she brings miniature pets to life. She knows the miniature is complete when she sees the distinct spark of life in the replica’s eye. I know because Lucy has sculpted both of my Cocker Spaniels, and her work is breathtaking. She will work with you in creating a treasured piece of art you will cherish of your dog. The miniature dogs are soft with some flexibility – never breaking and happy to get in any pose. Lucy’s unusual technique, acquired over many years, allows her to offer to you a reality in a miniature sculpture you will find hard to believe. Her animals are soft sculptures not needle felted. She never use pastels or paint every piece is 100% natural fiber for fur and accents.

Lucy Francis Maloney Miniatures

  Keepsake Box: Sentiment written inside box: ”Truly a friend”. Enclosure card included in box for gift-giving. I own this one and also have given it as a gift. I keep some of my previous Cocker Spaniel’s items in it.

Willow Tree True Keepsake Box

  Pet Remembrance Photo Frame Ornament: Jeweled Metal with red enamel heart with angel wings & paw prints. The back is smooth so you are able to personalize this ornament by taking it and getting it engraved.

In Loving Memory Pet Ornament

  Pet Memorial Bracelet: Seven Colored Rainbow Beads: Symbolizes the Rainbow Bridge, where beloved pets eagerly wait for the reunion with their pet parents.

Pet Memorial Bracelet Gift – Rainbow Bridge Lava Bead Bracelet – Provides 7 Meals for Shelter Animals In Honor of Your Beloved Pet

Have you already checked out my other Gift Guides for dogs and dog lovers? These gift guides make great gifts for the holidays and beyond (birthdays, just because, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, dog birthday, etc.)

 Note:  This post contains affiliate links from Amazon, meaning if you click on a link above and then make a purchase, Fidose of Reality will receive a small commission with no extra cost to you. You help us keep the site up and running and in exchange, you get to shop for items you love. Wags!

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[tessatechaitea]

Cave Carson Has A Cybernetic Eye #5

Did the cybernetic eye cause Cave Carson's impotency or is it just a metaphor for his condition?

Yesterday, I asked, "Lately, most new followers on Tumblr have basically been adverts for shitty Internet business scams (or something. Whatever). Even more so than the porn followers! Is Tumblr done?" It wasn't meant to be a hipsteresque taking down of the site. It was meant in good faith because a good percentage of the Followers I've been getting lately are accounts that obviously aren't just people enjoying Tumblr but using it for some kind of (probably shady!) business. Then today I got this Follower:

The first picture post on Man Planet...excuse me..."MAN pLaNeT" is of a woman in a short dress bending over as she reaches into a car exposing the gusset of her undergarments. The tags on this picture are not "I forgot something!", "gusset," "Time to jerk off!", or "accident waiting to happen." No, the tags are cars, bikes, girls, tatt, tatts, tattoo, hotrod, hotrods, motorbikes, and ratrod. Since none of those have anything to do with this image (except, I suppose, the car the woman is leaning into. But since that isn't the focus of the pic (her vagina is!), it seems weird to tag the image with car while not tagging it with vagina), it's obviously just a site using a bunch of tags presumed to garner the attention of men into things like "ratrods" and "tatts" and "girls." Most of the images after that first one are indeed cars and motorbikes and tatts (I'm fairly certain I lose one more day at the end of my life every time I type, think, or say "tatts"). They're the kind of images that make me exclaim, "Yawn!" But then you get to this image:

This is the definition of cognitive dissonance for residents of MAN pLaNeT. "I love me some Jack Daniels...but it's blocking boobies!"

MAN pLaNeT exemplifies the reason I don't turn on the widget to show people who follow me. Why would I give them any extra traffic? They're also the type of account that I usually block when they follow me but now that I've mentioned them, they feel a bit like a mascot. And now that I have a mascot, I hope those jerks over at Weird Science Blog don't try to steal it before the big homecoming game! Enough about my cute little new plaything, MAN pLaNeT. It's time to discuss Cave Carson's impotency (a thing followers of MAN pLaNeT never have to worry about! MAN pLaNeT! Where men can jerk off to women whose naughty bits are covered by alcohol and beef jerky, even though with one click of the mouse they could find actual porn. MAN pLaNeT! This has been a sponsored ad...I hope! Send me a check, MAN pLaNeT!). This issue begins with somebody telling the history of the Muldroog people. Those are the race of underground mole people who Cave Carson discovered when he could still get it up. One of the Muldroog women agreed to marry him because she was impressed with the size and power of his drill. She eventually died but not before she and Cave had a daughter. Her daughter is now just finding out that she's Muldroogianese. So maybe she's the one getting the history lesson. Basically the Muldroog were like Scientologists. They followed the ancient teachings of a space alien. But instead of living in a volcano, their space alien lived in a crystal. Now, I might be getting some of this wrong because I'm still thinking about MAN pLaNeT and also I don't really know anything about Scientology except that it's another religious scam that makes some people happy and other people rich and some people miserable. Just like the Muldroog's alien in crystal which made the Muldroogian society more technologically advanced than the surface people but at a cost. That cost was...freedom! Cave Carson, Chloe Carson, and Wild Dog are listening to a Muldroog witchdoctor give a history of Muldroog while they eat a hallucinogenic treat called Night Pudding. It leads to Chloe stripping naked and swimming. This comic book has more real nudity than MAN pLaNeT! And it's probably artistic and not titillating, right? Although try to convince my penis of that! There's also another scene about the father of the owner of the company that Cave just quit being a fungus monster who has been using Muldroog technology to get rich. Even though he's obviously the monstrous bad guy, his son's spelunking team led by Ace the Corporate Sycophant doesn't seem to mind. They're probably mind controlled by some kind of goo emitted by Edward Borsten, father of Paul Has A Douchey Ponytail. Anyway, I'll let the comic book explain what EBX (the company Cave worked for that was formerly called Edward Borsten and Sons) has in mind for the Muldroogs. Otherwise I'll be here all day, lost in digressions. And afterward, nothing would be any clearer! And since I barely wrote anything about last month's issue, I'm getting perilously close to being too confused to understand what is going on. This next page helps explain the basic premise of the series so far.

Whew! Now I'm thoroughly anchored to the plot! At least for a few more issues.

Why does EBX need Cave Carson to operate the drill? Because this is a story about Cave Carson's impotency, remember?! For some reason, EBX needs Cave Carson's virility to return before they can free The Whisperer from its underground prison. Johnny Blake might know how to fuck but he's just not good enough to compare to Cave in his prime. It turns out The Whisperer's prison is encased in inertron! That shit can't be drilled at all. But it can, somehow, be formed into flexible wings that once allowed the juvenile Harvest to glide around Gotham and New York City. So the only way into the prison is via the DNA of the Muldroogian Royal Bloodline. That means Chloe, the only symbol left of Cave Carson's sexual potency, can penetrate the vault. But when EBX attacks in just a few seconds, they'll discover they have captured the king and don't need the granddaughter anyway. During the attack, Team EBX remembers how Cave Carson came to their aid and they're all, "Fuck this shit! We're out! Let's find Floppy Dick Carson!" Johnny Blake is stabbed while escaping with the team but he'll probably live. His name is Johnny Blake! That's the name of a character who doesn't die.

#cars #bikes #girls #tatt #tatts #tattoo #hotrod #hotrods #motorbikes #ratrod

Cave and his step-mother meet back up with Chloe and her new gang of skinny dippers as well as Wild Dog and Team EBX. That was nice and quick and easy! Jon Rivera really knows which parts of a story to not fucking tell! That's a quality I admire in a writer. Some writers go five or six issues telling parts of the story that don't need to be told! Cave Carson's plan is to hook his phone up to the Mighty Mole so he can get cell reception. Then he auto dials Superman. I guess Batman never gave him his number.

Ouch! Ghosted by Superman!

If you read the previous caption and felt the overwhelming compulsion to respond, "The reason he didn't get through is because Superman is dead," you might be an Actually Nerd. If you read the previous page and realized it's a metaphor for Cave Carson's impotence and his daughter expressing the statement, "Don't worry, it happens to everybody," you've been paying attention! The issue ends with a horde of Fungus Men bearing down on Cave Carson and his new and improved team of Spelunkers and Misfits. He's probably going to have to get advice from real, virile man, Johnny Blake. Man, that's going to be rough. The back-up story is more fun with the Super Powers by Tom Scioli. That is all. The Ranking! +2! Even though Cave Carson's Cybernetic Eye took a back seat this issue, it was really enjoyable! I guess this series isn't just one big gimmick.