#Holy Shit My Grades Are Good I Must Be Faking It Disorder

[adhd-culture--is]

adhd culture is that whenever u take ur meds (or just caffeinate yourself) instead of just being like neurotypical, ur Can’t Sit Still Disorder turns into Man I Really Wanna Solve A Sudoku Disorder

[tittyinfinity]

Ok this is kind of a personal post but I'm putting it here in case anyone else relates

ADHD/autism related

Kinda long

Things that should have pushed me to get autism & adhd diagnoses a lot sooner:

Multiple stims throughout my whole life, but I've held onto one specific stim since childhood which is tapping things in a very specific pattern

Every social interaction is like a test that I have to "study" for – practicing every interaction in my head, thinking of all the possible things they could say and how I should respond without looking weird; closely paying attention to a person's each movement and tone of voice change in order to figure out which script to switch to; mirroring people because I don't know which social cues are acceptable to which people

Weird kid of every friend group that people only pretended to like because sometimes I was funny – always hearing that people are talking behind my back, boys making fun of me to my face while admitting to having a crush on me but not pursuing it because their friends would make fun of them

Embracing being ~*rAnDoM!!*~ as a preteen and doing things like yelling nonsense in the hallways with my other (now also diagnosed autistic) friend and wearing things that specifically pissed the other kids off

Oh so everyone else doesn't feel existential dread whenever they have to do one task? You're telling me people can have the motivation to complete a task before the very last minute when it's an immediate threat??

I'm really good at paying attention in class! All I need are my color coded pens of different thicknesses and my multiple colors of highlighters so that I can picture it in my mind (holy SHIT I had like 10-15 writing utensils on me at all times)

Wow I'm so so smart and at the top of my class!! ......oh I was just really good at standardized testing. Oh. Wow. I'm not smart outside of school. Shit.

HOW do people not feel emotion SO INTENSELY I just don't understand how people can just be OKAY WITH THINGS

"They overreact every time they get upset" "they're a crybaby" "it's not that big of a deal" yeah those were actually full on meltdowns! Yeah maybe it wasn't normal for me to be screaming and groveling over "minor" things!

I am walking out of this job right now because all of the noises and sounds are Too Much and I am having a panic attack at my desk. This must be because of the panic attack disorder I was diagnosed with

I can FEEL noises. Why can I feel them. Especially mouth noises. I grew up I a family with vocal/tongue/throat stims and I've had to wear headphones or put my head under a pillow bc while they can't help it, I also can't help that I have a physical response to it and it makes me want to explode. Repetitive noises and certain tones also drive me INSANE

No matter what you are not going to make me eat certain textures

Can't wear a bra or normal underwear without being aware of it all day bc it's all I can feel

Okay I'm going to start this task now. I mean now. Okay now. How about at 3. Oh it's 3:02, how about 3:30. Okay 4.

I am SO OBSESSED with this one thing that my entire life is going to revolve around it until it wears off for the next thing

Why do I feel like I'm so much further behind all the other adults at my age??? How have I not figured it out yet???

"The kid who asks too many questions" (especially at church)

I'm not going to follow this rule if it's not logical to do so

Having to fake a smile and engage in small talk with someone I don't know well makes me physically angry. Like not just annoyed. I want to explode and I want everything to explode with me

On that note: customer service jobs are worse than hell

I got so distracted with what I was doing that I've been doing the wrong thing this whole time

How many times can a person walk into one of their old classrooms and sit there before realizing they're not in that grade anymore

I've been talking to this person for an hour and just realized that I know them

I introduced myself to this person and they said we have met many times before

I can vividly remember every time I've missed a social cue and keep it stored in my brain so I can reference it for future situations. Also thinking about it makes me want to die

The same song/phrase has been on a loop in my head for a week straight now

Not everyone thinks in patterns and numbers specifically??

Nobody Fucking Tell Me What To Do

I very much also need people to tell me what to do because I fucking forget

(This stresses me out very much)

Idk if this has anything to do with it, but drugs affect me differently than others. My pain medication makes me energized and focused while making others drowsy. I can function and focus better after smoking weed. The only thing that fucks me up is alcohol, but anything else I've ever tried has made me feel more "normal" while everyone else around me is having a great time (I won't touch hard drugs because of this – I'd get addicted to meth or heroin extremely easily)

Apparently hypermobility can be an adhd thing? I got the record for the sit-and-reach test at all my schools and have always been able to touch the ground flat handed without bending my legs or stretching. I can also put my legs behind my head.

If I go through a major life or routine change I am fucking useless and mentally strained until I adapt to it

Me and my cats are Same

Half of my day is spent looking for objects I've misplaced

Well I'm on this website and that's a symptom too