#Homura Akemi has nothing wrong ever in her entire life

[link-lonk]

I think Madoka Magica should've let us see more of the trauma that Homura experienced after watching the only person she cared about die over and over. I want to watch as Homura's memories of every timeline and every Madoka start to blend together. Which Madoka was the real one? The original? Was it the one that saved the cat from getting hit by car or the one who saved the cat from getting hit by a bike? I want to watch as Homura struggles to remember which Madoka was HER Madoka.

[goji-pilled]

and now, we return to the Tamura Parable.

It all began when a young girl named Akemi Homura woke up on March sixteenth, the day after she had undergone a life-saving surgery to aid her ailing heart. In the following weeks, she would soon become quite close to a new acquaintance named Kaname Madoka, a girl who wore her golden heart right on her sleeve with a smile that could brighten up any of Akemi's dreary days. Yes pink-haired girl became such a pillar of stability and a ray of hope in Akemi's dark and depressing life that it would be no surprise to anybody really with more than two brain cells and a working pair of eyes, that the dark-haired brunette developed feelings of admiration and -

The voice of the Narrator cut away as Tamura threw herself off of the bed and onto the floor of Madoka's bedroom, separating herself from the owner of the room and severing the connection between Narrative Voices. As she was trying to wrangle her embarrassment and steel her nerves - a starring red blooming across her entire face - the intrusive individual made himself known once more.

Well, I don't understand why you went and did that. That was quite rude of yourself you know, interrupting my explanation of your story and making me lose my train of thought. I could understand if you were afraid of some adverse reaction to your feelings, you should focus on steadying your heart by the by.

Tamura placed a hand on her chest, back facing Madoka as she knew she wouldn't be able to bear the brunt of her dearest friend's look of discomfort at the revelation that a complete stranger is holding such intimate feelings for her.

Believe it or not, Kaname Madoka does not nor will she ever hold such negative feelings towards you. In fact, if you'd listen to the world around you right now you'd know that I speak the truth.

Doing as the Narrator had demanded- wait a moment? Demanded?! I did no such thing! I merely made a suggestion. Ahem, as she turned her ears to listen for the most quietest of sounds, Akemi turned her head to look at the source of what seemed to be near reverent chanting. On the bed Kaname Madoka was staring down at her hands, twiddling her fingers together as she kept mumbling something under her breath, blush adorning her cheeks as her face threatened to split with a blissful smile.

Edging closer to her friend, Akemi noticed that blissful smile parting and barely caught the words the star-struck girl was repeating. "He was right," she said, "Everything he said was right". Akemi's heart began beating rapidly once more, stray thoughts flowing within her mind as she tried to piece together a logical string outcome to Madoka's behavior!

"Alright, that's enough." Uh, e-excuse me? "Nothing you have just said actually happened nor were they correct."

Sitting on the bed once more Tamura rubbed a soothing circle on Madoka's back, her face buried behind her hands as she muttered phrases of "why" and "stupid narrator" in utter mortification.

"The only thing you have successfully done in your incessant badgerings was embarrass the both of us quite sufficiently."

Silence reigned supreme as Tamura continued to soothe her friend, thinking to herself how thankful she'll be once she no longer has to spend any more time or thought on this timeline's quirk. She pities the Homura who had to deal with these voices undoubtedly for her entire life, yet she could imagine said Homura being quite displeased with the lack of an extra voice to aid her on her many loops. Lost in thought Tamura didn't notice Madoka peek out behind her hands and look at her. The pink girl stared for a moment before taking a deep breath and leaning her entire self onto Tamura, resting her head on Tamura's collar and wrapping her arms around her waist, all ever so slowly.

Of course she was proven wrong, Akemi Homura is never supposed to be vindictively correct in any timeline is she?

Well now, perhaps i should continue with my incessant ramblings, shouldn't I? Even if they were, how did you put it, Miss Akemi? Nonexisting and incorrect? Now then, as Akemi was brought out of her stupor she looked down at her friends, her paramount person, she decided to be bold and perform the next act of their sudden hugging session. Akemi leaned back down towards the bed and wrapped her own arms around Kaname.

However, despite Tamura's desires and the Narrator's own light suggestions, the girls remained as they were; one doing her best to snuggle into her chosen pillow and the other stiff as an awkward ironing board.

... Ahem. Akemi leaned back onto the bed and hugged Kaname Madoka.

... Perhaps after spending so long trapped in the confines of her rooms and beds Akemi Homura had forgotten the feeling of what is was like to be hugged by another human being. So long that she has also forgotten the proper procedures on how to hug another person herself. As she relished this feeling of warmth and companionship the memories of old from her youth, finally recalling how to perform the difficult task of hugging another soul.

Akemi Homura placed her hands on Kaname Madoka's back, and slowly leaned themselves down to the bed for their impromptu cuddle session.

Good! Now, lean down and enjoy the brief but ever so welcome respite from the turmoils of time traveling. You deserve it Miss Akemi!

... Pardon me Miss Akemi, but this is the part where you lean down and-

Flopping like a bag of bricks Tamura fell to her back and crushed herself under the non-negligible weight of one very sleepy Kaname Madoka.

Oh, dear. We haven't even gone through the first day and yet I have a feeling that this behavior is only going to degrade as the months pass by. What a time for us to exist, wouldn't you say other me?

Indeed. However, even if progress grinds to a halt this time we can at least ensure Miss Akemi retains her sanity in a pseudo break from the usual heart-breaking norm, eh chap?

Quite well put. Thank you in your part by the way, in convincing Kaname Madoka into enacting this sudden plan of ours Other Me.

Oh think nothing of it Other Me. It is never too difficult to convince Kaname to follow her heart anyhow. You know just as well as I do how these two would bend over backward if it meant the stars would align just right for their significant other to have a good day. Now then, on to planning for the rescue and assistance of the remaining Holy Qui-

"Please, shut up. Both of you. You're ruining our attempts to rest."

"Tamura-chan's right you too. Sorry but could you please give us some time?"

Our apologies madams! / We're very sorry ladies!

yeah i dunno, this just got away from me nd I didn't know what to write for a while...

PLEASE I LOVE THE NARRATOR SHENANIGANS

[altairattorney]

In response to your little rant about Homura's depiction in Rebellion, here's this.

"The end of Rebellion is... controversial, but let's unpack what happened here. What occurred?

Well, firstly, Homura was traumatized and tortured; the Homura at the end of Rebellion is not the Homura of PMAS; she's gone through trauma and loss that PMAS!Homura can't even conceive of. She literally turned into a fucking witch because Kyubey gaslit her into thinking she made up Madoka Kaname, according to Wraith Arc.

Then, during this process, she learns two important facts that fucks her worldview: 1) Madoka didn't want to leave her loved ones and give up her normal life if she had any other alternative, and 2) Kyubey is trying to destroy the Law of Cycles (that is, Madoka Kaname), and has figured out a means of stopping her from interacting with Magical Girls under controlled lab conditions, meaning they could eventually succeed in their objective.

That means if Homura let herself go into the Law of Cycles, she would be unable to protect Madoka, and the Incubators would eventually destroy her. Madoka will have been erased and forgotten with nothing to show for it. Homura could only cope with everything with the promise of being reunited with her and the solace that Madoka's sacrifice was worth it, and Kyubey took that away from her.

And, more importantly: Homura's wish had yet to come true. Homura's wish wasn't to be with Madoka, or to save the world. It was to protect Madoka. To be the one to protect her.

To put it in other terms, Homura was self-loathing to the point of suicide-ideation because she was worthless, good for nothing, a burden on everyone. That she should just die. Madoka saw worth in her, and tried to change that, but Madoka died.

Only one person in her entire life ever told Homura she was happy to have met her and this wonderful, kind, happy, heroic, courageous, beautiful, miracle of a person who walked into her life to tell her those words died.

DIED. FOR. HER.

Died to protect her. Died so that a worthless piece of SHIT like herself could live. Someone who had EVERYTHING in the world died with a smile to protect someone who didn't even want to. Not without her.

Not instead of her.

She was good for nothing before and now her mere existence caused the best person she'd ever known to die. She ruined Madoka's entire life by having been a part of it.

She has to fix it. She has the chance to.

She wishes, wishes, WISHES to go back, to unfuck this, to undo this, to be cool like Madoka said she could have been. To protect her. To be her shield. To be WORTH something because she protected something valuble. To pay her back for all her kindness like she'd never been able to do and finally, finally in her life, have done something that justifies everything else.

She didn't wish for Madoka to live. She didn't wish for her to be saved. She wished to be the one to save her so she could support her and reinvent herself as someone who isn't a garbage shit person.

And every single time, she fails.

No matter what she does. No matter how she compromises herself. No matter what disgusting sins she does (and she never crosses so many lines that she says she WOULD cross). Madoka keeps dying.

And most of those times. She dies for Homura. She dies, again, for Homura. She dies again and again and again and again in order to help Homura.

Until the very last time, she wishes to save Homura (and everyone else), so much that she never existed at all.

Dammit. Dammit. DAMMIT. DAMMIT. This is worse this is WORSE THIS IS WORRRRSE!

But she still tries to cope. Madoka's in heaven. She's saving everyone. Madoka had a smile. The world is BETTER, and she'll see her again.

Until the above happened. And Kyubey is going to destroy Madoka Kaname. She won't have ever been born and she won't even be saving Magical Girls. She'll truly be nothing.

Because she came to save Homura, fucking AGAIN.

And all this time she still never saved her. Never ONCE saved her. Not a single time has she ever, ever, EVER fucking saved her. Not ever, has she ever saved her, not even when Madoka made her final fucking wish.

Homura made a wish that never came true. So she never stopped being Good for Nothing. She has never made up for Madoka's kindness. She has never, emotionally, left that moment where she sobbed over Madoka's dead corpse in the water and the rain. And she's done that so many fucking times.

So that's her mindset. So when she saw the chance. She took it. If you can interact with Madoka, you can effect Madoka. So.

God dammit. Fucking for once. Fucking finally. This time, her last chance she'll EVER HAVE... she will save her.

Save Madoka Kaname. Not a vague concept. Not a hero. Not a law or a god. Not a cosmic idea. Madoka. KANAME. The person who smiled at her and said she was cool. The person who helped her buy a cellphone. The kind, wonderful person who loved and named a stray cat and pressed her face to hers and laughed and congratulated her for her accomplishments. The person who said that meeting Homura was her happiest memory.

Why can't this person, of all people, be happy? All Madoka Kaname wanted was to live her fucking life. With her family. With her friends and classmates. Living her day to day life which wasn't anything special but it was so special to her.

She WILL save her. Goddammit, she failed so many times because she always kept holding herself back but if this is her last chance then GODDAMMIT fuck it all, damn herself too.

She never cared, really, about being with Madoka. She was willing to die for her. She explicitly had plans to leave the town to Kyouko after Walpurgisnacht and LEAVE (probably to kill herself so her Witch didn't come for Madoka). She was going to die for her in Rebellion so that she'd be safe from the Incubators.

If she could save her, if she can finally succeed and protect that human smile living her human life, it's fine if Homura Akemi isn't a part of it. If Madoka can smile, she doesn't have to smile at her anymore. That's PERFECTLY FINE.

So she did it. She stole a piece of the Law of Cycles. Not a big piece. Not the Law, or the Power, or the Salvation. The Law of Cycles still functions in some sense, because there's still no Witches, there's still Wraiths, there's still Angels.

She stole "Madoka Kaname", the human being that the Goddess used to be. She stole her, yes. She took over the universe, yes. But what did she do?

She made it so Madoka Kaname existed, again. Reunited with everyone she cared about. She gave Kyouko, Mami, Sayaka, and everyone else the happiest lives she could give them without undoing their pasts (disrespecting their agency and core selves), even if it was only to keep Madoka happy in her silver garden.

She tortures Kyubey but no one's crying tears over that fucker. She seems to be letting the world run its course as naturally as possible, save for suppressing people's memories of what's really going on.

Sayaka, alive. Nagisa, alive. Living with Kyouko and Mami respectively. Madoka, alive.

Hell, the only change she made that we know of to Madoka's memories is three years in America.

Because, canonically, English is Madoka's worst subject.

And now, she's great at it.

No matter what it takes. Madoka Kaname will be happy. She deserves it. And Homura will make that happen, even if she, herself, never is.

But yeah go off about how Homura is a yandere stalker who likes to kill people."

Hey there! I thank you for your post and your insight, and I wanted to clarify that I don't disagree at all with this view of Rebellion and how it ended. I think it is all correct, actually. The problem I have with it is 1. Rebellion existing at all, and 2. the way they portrayed her choice as an act of evil conceived by a demon.

To begin with, there are a few details that I don't think really make sense considering how pmmm worked. Homura shouldn't even be a witch, first of all. Secondly, even though she cannot know for sure, I don't think Homura would have willingly told Kyubey about the world of before if there were any danger. Heck, I don't even understand how Kyubey could possibly have stolen Madoka, now that she is not an entity but a literal concept, a rule of the universe. Imo that is beyond absurd. Third, I am doubtful Homura would have gone against Madoka's wish, even though I totally understand why she did in the context of Rebellion.

The problem I have with Homura is that people thought about her as a yandere emotionless stalker who has an unhealthy obsession with Madoka even before Rebellion existed. That was a popular sentiment, and the big, big problem I have with this film is that while what she did isn't inherently bad or wrong - as you explained - the movie paints her as a LITERAL DEMON in the moment she makes that choice, and ALSO at the exact same time she declares her love canonically. That is so fucked up in so so so many ways. As not literal it may be, they gave her that creepy smile, and show that Madoka is confused in her new bubble and feels like she is someone else but can't remember why. And Homura brushes it off. As wonderful as it is that she is there, Madoka is uncomfortable, Sayaka is obviously enraged and Homura plays the part of the Evil Character.

This is just all so unfair and so wrong. It doesn't only negate the way this anime ended - and of course Homura deserved to go with peace and quiet like everyone else. No magical girl has to ever suffer like that again, including Madoka, right? (There were so many ways to reunite her with Madoka, but no.) It also visibly paints Homura as being on the dark side, and validates the horrific lens people saw her character through even before the film. It canonizes her as a lesbian in the same moment she is doing something clearly framed as wrong, and, on a surface level, reinforces her obsession. This is just a textbook predatory lesbian trope. I am sorry if you don't see it the same way, but it is just horrific to me.

I will never agree with Rebellion existing. I cannot stand the ending of this anime being undone and Homura being punched in the face and further tortured both in universe and as a character, after all the crap she went through. It is just disrespectful.

And as I said, she deserved better.

[zephyrthejester]

Reflecting on Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Please click “Keep Reading” to view my concluding thoughts on the Madoka Magica franchise as a whole. Unfiltered spoilers abound.

I am only now realizing it: At one point, I stopped perceiving Puella Magi Madoka Magica as being a standard fare story. Right now, I hold this franchise in the highest regard. This tiny, twelve-episodes-and-a-movie story feels to me a grandiose epic, sweeping in scope and masterful in presentation.

I once said I would have dropped this show were I not liveblogging it. That it wasn't for me. I've never been so glad to be wrong.

At the start, my feelings about this show were neutral at best. The content that is surely far more enjoyable upon a rewatch didn't do much for me on my first time through. But as mysteries unraveled and characters became more nuanced, I was sucked in completely to what ended up being a story I'll never forget.

This is, perhaps, the concept of time loops taken to its full potential. The show's initial, slow pokes and prods into the dark and terrible horrors that Magical Girls face became all the more heartbreaking as we saw timelines where even worse outcomes came to pass, where the characters we came to know were broken in body and mind, where one legendary young woman stood tall against it all.

Akemi Homura has cemented herself as being one of the most fascinating fictional characters I've ever encountered. We saw her transform from suspicious neutral party to the main character. From weak and shy, to deathly cold, to the self proclaimed embodiment of evil. Her love for Madoka was so powerful that she walked through time for years and years, letting herself deaden all emotion, letting herself become a focused machine with only one goal. To save Madoka from all the pain Homura personally shouldered upon herself.

And then, one day, Homura won. Madoka was elevated far beyond the reach of that pain and became the salvation of every Magical Girl. But that wasn't enough for Homura. She thought that Madoka wasn't as happy as she could be, so she plucked God from the heavens and made her a mortal. So Madoka could have a shot at a truly normal life. Even if it meant destroying everything Madoka wanted and everything Madoka accomplished...

Homura‘s determination is a pathos that also invokes awe. A willpower that is unforgettable. She said she would do anything to get what she wanted, and she did everything. I am certain that I'll be remembering Homura and thinking about everything she's done for years down the line.

Kaname Madoka appearing to be the main character? A red herring. She easily had the weakest and lightest personality among the main cast, but I suppose that reinforces what she really was. In the end, she was an idea. A concept. Madoka was not a person, but the goal, the everything, the end-all-be-all answer to all the pain Homura and countless other Magical Girls suffered. Despite this, in the ultimate final moments, she didn't matter at all. Madoka, and everything her Godhood represented, was cast aside in favor of what Homura thought was best. And it was all so heartbreaking.

Incubators, or Kyubey, were less a character and more the representation of everything Homura fought against. They were a force of nature, only there to weather against as the characters dealt with everything thrown at them. But then they went too far, and the wrath of Homura was extreme. According to the wikipedia synopsis, it seems Incubators in Homura's world are the new Soul Gems. They feel the emotions, they absorb curses into themselves. Homura drove the entire hive-mind race mad and doomed them with wracking torment. And this pleases me. The meddling of Incubators is why this tragic story exists and why everything was changed forever in the final moments.

Miki Sayaka was instrumental (HA HA HA) in proving to the cast and we viewers the full extent of the horror that lurked just beyond Kyubey's facade. Sayaka's story arc was the baseline summary of how the universe worked (at the time). By itself, Sayaka's rise to glory and fall to despair was beautifully effective, and it defined what Homura's endless journey meant. And beyond that role, Sayaka herself was charming and fun to watch.

Tomoe Mami, in what little screen time she had, was the experienced veteran of the lot... Despite being largely unaware of what it actually meant to be a Magical Girl. As Rebellion proved, she was capable and strong in many respects. Her sudden and immediate death in Episode 03 was monumentally important because it established the stakes. It was a bold, bright neon message saying "This franchise means business."

Sakura Kyouko was the lovable hotheaded tomboy of the group. Looking back, I'm not entirely sure she accomplished anything meaningful in the full scope of the story, beyond assisting in key fights. Sayaka and Mami left their marks, steered the story down a different path... but Kyouko? I'm not entirely sure what she affected in the long run. Even still, I loved her personality and her commanding presence.

Bebe Nagisa wanted cheese.

Finally, I would be remiss not to talk about what is perhaps my favorite aspect of the franchise: The visuals. This show's aesthetic is unique. It's unique. Take a moment to think about what that means. Nothing else looks like Madoka Magica, and nothing else ever will (without being branded a rip-off.) The complete marrying of standard anime visuals with real-life textures, splayed in chaotic, reason-defying patterns... Never once did the Witch content look aesthetically ugly. At all times this show carried a splendid sense of style. All at once, its chaos was structured.

I’d also like to applaud the music. This area is definitely not my forte (HA HA HA), so all I’ll say is that I thought it really sounded nice all the time. The ED song in particular stands out to me as embodying the general mood of this story.

Indeed, it took me a long while to warm up to this show. But now that I am here, looking back at all there is to see, and knowing all there is to know... Puella Magi Madoka Magica has my greatest respect. I am never going to forget this story.

This concludes my liveblog of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Thanks for reading, and thank you for recommending it to me.

[link-lonk]

Homura Akemi has done nothing wrong ever in her entire life