#I AM REGRETING THIS I HAEV TO HIT THAT POST BUTTON BEFORE I OVERTHINK IT HERE I GO

[moonraccoon-exe]

Gladnis WoR angst Pt. 3

RACCOBOS!  ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

Thank you so dearly much for the patience! I know it’s been quite a while since I promised that part 3; real life got in the way, but here it is!

I had intended to make a reunion, but that will wait because this got long. 

Here is part 1.

Here is part 2.

This text is the part 3 for the story, focusing on Gladio’s train of thoughts, decisions and realizations.

This will be followed by a part 4, starring Gladio’s reunion with Ignis and probably my favorite part.

A deep apology in case you don’t enjoy this part, as it’s mostly Gladio, thoughts, ethic & an argument & choices rather than Gladnis stuff. It felt important having to tell the tale of how Gladio came to notice what he notices to understand his choices and return.

Still, it’s more of a bridge chapter. I am so sorry if you end up disappointed. ;n;

Please, do let me know what you think, if you enjoyed, etc., so I can know if it’s worth to continue this (and so I know I didn’t just ruin it ahdsshdkfjsd). Hope you enjoy!

Curiously, it’s Sania who helps in the situation.

It’s been six months since Prompto’s lecture on Gladio, six - goddamned - long - months before Gladio can realize what everyone had been telling him for so long and he has ignored and been blind to.

Six months with Gladio being excluded from his most intimate circle of friends. Because the chocobros, in the current situation, did not break each their way, no; Gladio broke his bond with Ignis, Ignis and Prompto’s tightened, and Prompto broke his with Gladio. So the outcome is Gladio being excluded, and the worst part is that he caused it himself.

It would be a lie to say Gladio understood, because he had been really upset and quite salty about it. He was personally angered at Prompto, because, on Gladio’s view, he had done nothing wrong, he had just meant to apologize and fix everything, and instead of that Prompto worsened things by denying him the chance. Part of him understands, it really does, this side of an emotionally injured Ignis that Prompto’s only trying to protect, but Gladio still doesn’t understand.

It happens to the best of not just men, but the best of people; he was so in love that he just couldn’t see the obvious things. To him, Ignis was saying nasty things about his girlfriend that couldn’t be true, because they sincerely made no sense to him. You’ve got to understand this is not his fault and Gladio’s not a bad or stupid person, but as many wonders as love can do, it’s also powerful enough to do harm in the same quantities. Gladio sees people exaggerating about things that his girlfriend wouldn’t dare do and being drama queens, so he just sticks on his own - with her, of course.

Truly, it’s obvious that it’s a poisonous relationship, but, again, that’s the sort of bad things love can do, make you blind to that. Gladio sometimes does things out of obligation or being forced to, and he does it moodily, and he’s aware of that, but thinks it’s normal in any relationship. She has triggered unnecessary dramas on him, and he’s noticed too. He notices all the things that make him angry or hurt or exasperated, but at first they were not as big, and he kept shrugging them off; this has followed since the very beginning of the relationship, not just after Ignis left. But it was after Ignis left that they became more noticeable.

Without Ignis to be the “third wheel”, Gladio has much more consciousness of the way she acts towards him and how he acts towards her. Sometimes she’ll insist on him for sex even when he’s denied it, and he realizes that most of the times he’s done it has been out of commitment than the wish to do it. She’s always complaining about his attention, and honestly he gives so much attention to her (of all sorts) and he’s not sure how else or what more she wants. He’ll want to do something, she denies.

All in all, while she has always been this possessive, poisonous partner, and while Gladio had noticed the bad stuff, it was not as clear as it is now that he doesn’t have Ignis.

It feels, in a way, as if though since Ignis left, he really feels it is the eternal night with no light.

One day, after she threw one hell of a drama on him, his thoughts went on how things were easier back when they had started dating, and the train of thoughts leads him to remember about Prompto’s words; “he would stand a hell of a life just to make sure you’re fine”, “without you noticing”. It’s taken all these six months and many nights of philosophy about his situation and life and his friends, and he comes to some sort of realization.

The way Prompto put it was some way of saying that if Gladio’s life had been good, Ignis had played a big role on it, maybe not by making him happy, but by stopping bad things from happening to him. Gladio thinks about how, since Ignis left, he has noticed far much more how bad he feels with his girlfriend most of the time, and he thinks that maybe, when Ignis was there with him, Ignis was receiving all the bad things and that’s why life wasn’t so bad; because Ignis was taking most of it for him, Gladio not noticing. It’s like Ignis was a wall that stopped the water, even if that meant resisting, unmoving, against the furious waves, and when he left (or...when the wall was so damaged that it broke down) it’s all raging against Gladio.

But what sort of hell could Ignis have been taking for him? And then Gladio remembers about all the things that Ignis said to him across many, many months, subtle at first, and increasing on intensity and frequency the more the time went. He said many nasty things about his girlfriend, things she supposedly did and said to Ignis, to other people, behind Gladio’s back, things that are too unbelievable because he knows her. Right? Well, it is true one never knows somebody else completely. And many things are kind of true.

And Ignis never lied to him...and he never would…

So maybe he was saying the truth…?

But Gladio refuses to see it, because it’s true he’s having a mostly bad time with his girlfriend, and there’s many flaws, and it doesn’t feel like it was when they started, but she couldn’t possibly be this bad. Homophobia? Her? Gladio has been with her when in front of gay couples, and she never batted an eye. That can’t be...right? And to say mean things to Ignis and get to physically injure him at times? That can’t be her. She wouldn’t do that, especially not to a friend, or to one of Gladio’s friends.

It doesn’t make sense, and Gladio’s very confused. On a side, he wants to believe in Ignis because Ignis never lied to him and he would have no reasons to tell him so many things about her without a reason, but on the other side he also wants to believe in her, and he doesn’t see the things Ignis swore many times to be true. It’s like Ignis is telling him the sky is red, and no matter how much Gladio trusts in him and wants to believe in his word and knows Ignis would never lie, the sky just stays black and grey all the time and it just doesn’t make sense.

And then, one day, Sania is the little switch Gladio needs to start opening the eyes.

One day, staying at Old Lestallum, where he had been staying with his girlfriend, Sania approached him. She too had been there for a while, and, as always when they happened to stumble upon each other during the World of Ruin, they used to talk and hang together, most of the time with the girlfriend there.

Gladio’s girlfriend has been helping with some unloading of trucks while Gladio had gone out for a hunt, from which he's back much earlier than expected. So this gives Gladio some moments to himself- which was enough so that “time to himself” could mean having Sania approach without the girlfriend being there.

Sania goes to him, and just like it’s Sania style, she starts talking and ranting without even saying hello or giving him a chance to say anything or react.

“Hey, what’s wrong with your lady, huh? Honestly, I thought it was all a joke at first, but then she entirely exploded into it? Huh? I don’t know if you’re seeing it, sweetie, and if you are I must say I’m kind of disappointed because I thought your type was a smarter and sweeter and less disgusting one. And, listen, Sword Boy, I understand if possessive toxic psychopaths are your type because, hey, each their own kinks, but, you know, I’m getting a bit tired and honestly I’m kind of a...goddess to be treated like this, so I’m telling you instead of her, because I know people like her, and it’s like talking to a brick wall; they have no brain and you can’t make them change opinion, so I’ll just have to talk it with you.

>>So stop it, will you? I mean her, not you. Honestly I wouldn’t say this this way, but seen as you have more of an animal than a partner I’m gonna tell you; do something to control her, boy! She’s been harassing me all this time when you’re not with her, and it’s always to insult me, mess with my stuff, call me names, hide my things, and go non-stop saying nasty things about me to my face.

>>And at first I was like ‘cool, okay, it’s fine’ because I don’t have the time to be listening to people like her, no, darling, no time, but she just went on and spilled soda all over my papers, and fries all over me, and do you know how long it’ll take me to rewrite all that!?

Sania does a very small pause there, in which Gladio just blinks and looks at her absolutely stupefied, because, well, it wasn’t a smart move from Sania to just vomit all this on him at once, Gladio’s not sure he understands, but the part about spilling soda and fries triggered him into thinking about Ignis and…

“What’s wrong with her, huh? She goes on saying over and over about how you’re ‘her man’ and you ‘belong’ to her and that I can’t look or talk to you and that I will die and she’s been threatening me, and why are you with someone that thinks a partner is a possession, man? I thought you were grown and wise enough to know a partner is a companion, not a ‘mine’ thing? And like it’s not enough, she also happens to be super rude!? What’s wrong with you, Gladio, I thought you liked them harmless and sweet and...human? Because she may look like a human but it’s so obvious that’s a snake. And not the kind of snakes from the Versperpool, which anyone can notice first sight are tremendly dangerous, I mean the ones from the little lakes of Duscae. That’s where the most venomous kind of snakes are; in the sunny valley of flowers and sugar fairies and rainbows, the tiny snakes that look so harmless, those are the most lethal, I have a study on-”

Sania proceeds to start ranting about snakes, and it’s clear that while she does care about the problem with Gladio’s girlfriend, she’s got “more important things” and easily gets distracted. Gladio, however, stops her ranting.

“What?” he asks after a pause.

And that’s how Sania starts telling Gladio about all the things that she’s lived through the few weeks of being in the same town than Gladio and her girlfriend, and the treatment she receives from the latter. And the more Sania talks, the more...familiar the conversation becomes. Insults, physical attacks, pulling from hair, slapping, stomping on feet, dropping her things, spilling food and drinks on her, threatening her, scaring and shooing her away, and going on endless rants about how Gladio belongs to her, and absolute abuse towards Sania and…

...and it’s exactly the same words and same speech that Ignis gave him over, and over, and over, and over for months…and that he refused to believe.

Gladio still questions her, more out of heartbreak as if not wanting this to be true, but for once not with disbelief.

“She keeps saying I’m trying to ‘steal you from her’, like you’re a thing. I even told her, ‘honey, I ain’t even interested in men, let alone such a dork’ but it’s like all she heard was ‘damn yes, I’ve fucked him more times than you could count’ and, boy, she’s so aggressive, a Marilith is like a pet at her side!” Sania sighs. “I must say you’ve disappointed me, Gladio. I can understand she attacks me and you let her because I’m just the crazy frog lady to you, but that Scientia boy, wow. He was like, part of you. Didn’t you feel bad about changing him just like that? The poor thing. I’ve been standing her for a month, I can’t imagine how strong he was if he stayed an entire year. Can’t blame him for leaving, hm? Not like I care about what she says, but...a year. Wonder if cockatiel hair is doing well, I’d be destroyed. ”

Sania doesn’t sound like she’s nagging him, she sounds seriously curious, like everything she does (no modesty or refrains, and just talking her thoughts non-stop and without measuring the weight of them). It’s never been something that bothers Gladio, he’s thankful that his friend is so open about everything because she can speak the truth without refraining. And it’s that, that Sania speaks her mind and that she’s the second one that tells him the same things, and all the constant reflecting on how Ignis would never lie to him, what make him see what had been so obvious and crystal clear the entire time.

It’s not that Gladio believes in Sania more than Ignis; it’s that Sania was the last tiny drop to spill the glass, and now he sees things as they are.

And things start changing between the couple. They had been on constant downhill even before Ignis had left, it became much more noticeable after he did, and now that Sania finished smacking sense into him, it does but drop in a vertical fall. Gladio becomes a little more awkward around her, and it’s like that talk with Sania had him take off the blindfold and gave him new ears, because he can suddenly see her attitude, mostly when she thinks he’s not around.

One day, Gladio tries to talk with her about it, but she ends up freaking out and they solve nothing; on the opposite, Gladio becomes even more conflicted. The thread is so tense and so thin it feel like it will snap anytime soon, and he’s always in this tension.

And then, another day, Gladio finally breaks up with her.

He doesn’t even need an excuse or a reason, because he has thousands of them. They had an argument on how Gladio still doesn’t “love her enough”, which triggered all of Gladio’s repressed thoughts, and he ends up speaking about this girl’s extreme, sick jealousy, her possessiveness, how wrong that is, and of course the conversation leads to Sania, the things she told her about this girl and the treatment she gave her, and, of course, it ends up leading to Ignis. Gladio did notice that his girlfriend acted strangely when Ignis was brought to conversation, in a way that has it clear she’s been lying and tries to keep secrets, so it only extra confirms to Gladio that all that Ignis told him she did to him was true.

The argument goes on for a good two hours, until Gladio just says it. ‘I’m breaking up with you’. He’s not asking her, he’s stating it; firm, without being rude, but absolutely sure.

“Seriously?” she asks, raising an eyebrow, but after a long pause. “You’re changing me for him? Right after all the lies he told you and the way he treated us?”

“The way he treated us?” Gladio asks, fired up. “What about the way you treated him!?”

“You don’t believe all the things he said, do you?” she says, rudely, sarcastic. “Do you really believe more in that...man than in me, your girlfriend!?”

“Well...” Gladio says low but firm, serious, like this is the most logical of questions, “of course I do.”

Needless to say, this triggers one huge drama, except this is different. She would cry until he’d apologize (even if the one who had done wrong had been her), or she would storm away. Not this time. Like a criminal that has been unveiled and revealed and exposed, it’s like she no longer has any reason to pretend, not a single reason to refrain, so her nature unfolds in front of him.

She ends up trying to fight him, and while he could easily put her down, he doesn’t want to cause any harm (this is frequent in Gladio, not because it’s a woman vs man issue, but because Gladio doesn’t want to take advantage against someone he’s aware has no chances with him whatever the gender, unless they’re a threat to someone else), so he’s mostly on the defensive. She starts taking things and throwing them all to him, screaming insults about Ignis, about Gladio, while still throwing everything she can find to him. Gladio is managing to avoid or resist most things; a metal decoration does manage to split his eyebrow open, and it’s then that his sense of justice/moral tells him it’s fine to show resistance now, and he goes over to her to stop her, even if she continues to squirm and scream.

Gladio goes out for air, and when he comes back he finds her throwing his stuff to the trashcan. He doesn’t even complain; he goes into the container and looks for his phone and a keychain Iris gifted him long ago, a basic tool and a sentimental charm, the only necessities he has, all while she’s yelling at him to leave, goes drama over how she’ll die if he does, and still complaining about everything.

He packs a few things in a relatively small bag and starts walking away when she demands he leaves the money, thinking he’ll stay or turn back to continue arguing. Gladio, however, only turns around and drops the tiny bag of gils in front of her, turns around and tries to walk away again. She still catches up with him and demands he also leaves the bag because it’s “hers”, still with that idea that Gladio will have no option but stay. Still, Gladio does the same, takes his things out and drops the bag, and tries to leave once more. Offended and angered that it’s not working, she demands that Gladio stays because it’s his obligation to protect her, if not as a girlfriend at least like a lady, because if he doesn’t that makes of Gladio “unmanly”.

He stops then and does nothing. She smiles quickly before faking again that indignated look, finally content that she, like always, managed to defeat him and have him do as she wants. He turns around and calmly walks towards her. He stays quiet, just staring at her, before speaking.

“Was this the first century, I’d believe your drama on females needing a male knight and that shit” he says, “but truth is it’s been centuries since ladies have taken the reins. All the girls I’ve met in my life are strong, independent, and need no one to protect them. My sister was beating the shit out of Imperial soldiers at fifteen. And you can’t live alone at twenty-two? Geez, I started dating you because I thought you were strong, and turns out you’re a toddler that needs somebody else to do everything for you because you can’t.”

She widens her eyes at him as if demanding an explanation or daring him to say more.

“You need me to protect you? Pscht. Talk about obstacles. No, darling, I wanted a fierce warrior wife, but turns out you’re an useless stump. Nah. Going around protecting a useless stump, that’s boring. Being the ‘weak fragile princess’ has been outdated for a couple centuries, sweetheart” he side-smiles at her. “And I only date the trendy.”

Before she can freak out more, he continues.

“You kept telling Ignis that he was a burden, but even blind he could manage himself, dressed alone, ate with no help, started re-learning cooking and living normally. If anything, he only needed to be guided from time to time, but he never needed someone else to protect him or to help him live. And without me, what can you do? Nothing? Speaking about burdens. You were wrong the entire time, the third wheel was always someone else.”

She raises the eyebrows at him even more, jaw dropping.

“He may be blind, but he never needed of anyone. Ignis is…” Gladio’s gaze suddenly drops and turns much softer, like his voice, like he’s suddenly somewhere else, alone in his thoughts. “...Ignis always was, has always been, is, and will always be a warrior, in more senses than just the weapon-handling one. He’s brave, independent, and a role model. He inspires me.”

It’s suddenly as if having said that triggers Gladio into understanding it, like only after he said it he realizes how true it is.

“If I am what I am, it’s because of him” he says softly and proudly. “If I’m the kind of man that I am today, it’s because of him. I was never his inspiration, he was always mine. He was never an obstacle, and he was always the reason I was not either. He was never useless, he’s always been an inspiring, brave figure that gives me my strength, it was never the other way around. Even after he lost sight, he was never an obstacle, he never tried to depend on anyone else. And I…”

Suddenly, he remembers he’s not alone and what he was talking about, and he looks up at her again, serious once more.

“And I won’t let you take him from me. I won’t let you make me take myself away of him. I made the mistake once, but I’m not going to repeat it, and I’m not going to continue with this. So am I leaving you? Yes. Do I regret it? No, and I’ll never do. Am I serious? Very much. Do I feel bad about abandoning you? No. Does it make me unmanly? No. But if you think it does, then yes, whatever. Not like I care. I can live fine being unmanly, because at least I’d still be human. But you?”

Gladio sarcastically and quite bitterly smiles at her.

“I’m not abandoning a lady” he murmurs to her. “Being a lady takes more than having a vagina, and sadly you don’t have any of the requirements to be one. A snake can be female and dress pretty, but that won’t make it a lady.”

She slapped him.

The hit was so hard the interior of Gladio’s cheek bled, and he had the palm marked on the face for two days.

And he’s never been more proud of a temporary scar.

That’s how Gladio saw her a last time, with a mark of a hand printed on the face, a bleeding eyebrow, and with very few things. Iris is at Old Lestallum as well, and it’s her who supports and helps him; she cheers on his decision of breaking up with that girl, and when Gladio tells her in a rush that he needs to desperately make his way to Hammerhead as fast as possible, she loses no time and starts gathering things for the journey.

She accompanies him, like they used to do before Iris was annoyed away by the girlfriend (behind Gladio’s back, of course), and get a small truck for themselves.

Prompto’s trying to cheer Ignis into his first try at retaking his attempts to re-learn cooking when he gets a phone call. After those six months, Ignis made a first and insecure comment about perhaps how it would make no harm trying to relearn cooking, and did not immediately regret it like usual. Motivated that this could be the first signs of Ignis recovering a tiny bit of motivation to get over his depression, Prompto tried cheering him into trying, because Ignis didn’t immediately regret it, but he’s also not moving from his spot, in a way that easily says he could have not regretted it but is considering it.

That’s when Prompto gets the first phone call from Gladio after those long six months. He excuses himself, hates to drop the moment because he thinks that he was close to convincing Ignis and now it’s ruined, but he thinks this is more important, and goes outside their tiny apartment to answer.

“I understood” Gladio tells him. “Shit, Prompto, it took me so fucking long, so, so fucking long. I was so blind and so stupid, and it took me so fucking long even when everyone was telling me. Saying sorry is nowhere close to properly fix this. I owe so many apologies to so many people, you included, Ignis in the first place, Ignis more than anyone, Ignis more than anyone. I’m so sorry, Prompto. But I’ve understood now. I left her. I’ve...settled my head, I’ve done things to start fixing this, and I’ve recovered myself. I’m an idiot, Prompto. I’m making my way to Hammerhead. I need to see Ignis, and you. Is that okay?”

Prompto hasn’t even said anything. All he said was the first ‘Hello?’ before Gladio burst into his quick and relatively short rant. It leaves him a bit shocked, and he’s standing there with the heart beating madly in his chest and the eyes wide; this is the first time he talks with Gladio after their last argument half a year ago, one of his three dearest friends, the intimate brother he broke bonds for their health, coming back and talking to him again.

And, thank the Gods, he’s not mad.

And Prompto realizes that as much as he hated to have broken bonds back then, it's been worth it, for Gladio is truly sincere and changed for good.

Gladio didn’t say much, but Prompto can feel the sincerity in his words. Gladio doesn’t only say he’s changed, he sounds and it feels like he did change. The voice of that absolute jerk who sounded so stubborn, stupid and idiot is gone, and his voice sounds again like the Gladio Prompto first met and that he traveled with, the real Gladio. It’s the same voice, but...something about its brightness, its color, it talks about this change.

And Prompto can’t help a smile.

“Yes. That’s okay.”

A toxic relationship, no matter how much both sides hold onto it, always ends up breaking and shattering, some in unfixable ways, some too late, but they always end up destroyed (the sooner, the less harm is caused). So a year and half into this, of course it caused great harm between the two, and to each personally, each in a different way. Gladio feels cheated and sort of brokenhearted at first; he had the certainty and the idealization of a wonderful woman that was kind and nice, so that this figure that he had loved so sincerely for a year and half shatters, it’s quite shocking.

It happens to the best of people, to have the heart broken even when they don’t love their ex partner any longer. At least at first; two days of feeling bad about it, his emotions rocket up. Because, yeah, it kind of sucks to have his illusions destroyed in such a way, but he’s fully aware she was venomous, lethal, killer poison, so after the almost obligatory mourning passes, comes the absolute and complete sensation of freedom and relief.

Happiness, however, doesn’t come. Having gotten away of her and breaking bonds feels to him like he was being crushed under a mountain that’s been removed, like being so deep underwater it had crushed his ears and was squeezing him tight and asphyxiating him, and he finally swam up to the surface. But that was only the beginning of fixing things, the easiest part. The real problems, the main problem, only come after this. Ignis. Gladio already broke free from her, but the real problem and main concern is Ignis.

Because now that Gladio can see that all that Ignis ever told him was true, everything starts cascading on him, realization after realization one hitting him after the other non-stop. The insults, the rude behavior, the nicknames, the photographs he said she took, the mistreatment, the cruel jokes…

Each minute that goes reminds Gladio of something that Ignis told him and he didn’t believe, and it makes him more and more anxious. Cor has taught Iris to drive by this point, so sometimes Gladio will even let Iris take the wheel because he can’t focus, his mind is busy thinking about Ignis and remembering about all the things he told Gladio, and how terrible, terrible, terrible it all was.

And it doesn’t help when Gladio notices that, knowing Ignis, he probably did not tell him even half of the things she did to him...

All in all, most of the journey Gladio travels in absolute silence because he’s worried about Ignis and the entire situation now that he can see it, and he’s constantly thinking about him. Until the thoughts are so many and so detailed, he starts figuring things out.

Gladio feels conflicted, because Ignis is...well...Ignis. He’s his absolute best friend, he’s...wow, an essential part of him. Ignis always had the best advice both as a royal adviser and as a friend, and also as a human being, and damn, he had the wisest and most vast mind, and he never, never, never lied to Gladio, not once. Not even about the Altissia events; Ignis did not have much of a choice, but he still told everything to Gladio. Because he always did; he could hide things from Prompto or Noctis if he thought it convenient, but never Gladio. Gladio knew everything about Ignis, and Ignis never hesitated about telling him everything.

Which, now that Gladio thinks about all this, means a lot. Because Ignis always said, as he was growing up raised as a strategist, that it was wrong to trust everything of yourself to someone else, no matter how much you trust in them.

“And if you do” Ignis once said to him, when he was nineteen, glancing away and with a smile that Gladio had not known how to read back then, “that means you love this person so much and in such a special way that you don’t care about what’s right, because you’re trusting in their hands the power to kill you, knowing they won’t.”

And Gladio, finally, understands that phrase.

It’s amazing, how it took him years. How it had to take years, all these events, and a separation to lead Gladio to take one minute of reflecting to get to that point of the train of thoughts. If he had stopped anytime before to think about it, he would have noticed. But he had been so busy flirting with other people to think of the possibility that Ignis would-

Ignis...that Ignis feels...

Gladio finally understands the way Ignis feels about him. It had been clear all the time, and still went unseen. Because that’s Ignis, all of him; he’s the biggest and greatest emotions, but they all go unseen, just like his body when he goes into stealth missions. Ignis basically confessed it to him with that phrase that Gladio had always thought was only a philosophy, and it is, but it was also a confession-without-having-to-confess.

And he thinks about Ignis and all the interactions together since their youth, Ignis’ strange behavior at times, the way he reacted so sadly when Gladio told him about his first girlfriend, Ignis’ subtle invitations to dance at every royal ball, the way Ignis would go shy whenever Gladio touched him, the way the adviser always looked at him, always cared for him, the way Ignis always behaved with him, the things he sometimes said, the way he reacted when Gladio hugged him after the Altissia events, and some of the things he or other people said, it all starts making sense.

“Hate you, man. This way, you’re going to leave me with no adviser someday.”

“Scientia makes a great young gentleman. You make a good pair with him, son.”

“I’ve never seen him happier. You said something to him?”

“It’s unfair, Gladio’s dish has more than mine. Guess that’s what you get when the cook has preferences, huh?”

“I was afraid I had lost you, Gladio. I mean...that we had lost you. Please, be careful.”

“I am afraid I’m not lying, Gladio. I know it sounds unrealistic to you, but she...wants to push me off because...she’s aware of my...bond with you and doesn’t like it. She wants to push us apart. I know- I know it sounds stupid to try to push friends apart, but she’s...aware that I...feel...a great connection with you and…”

“He cares about you, in a way you don’t understand.”

“Are you changing me for him?”

“I’m not asking you feel towards him like he feels towards you, whatever that feeling may be.”

“With you not noticing.”

“The power to kill you, trusting they won’t.”

And he sees that he was given that trust, so long ago, and was constantly given more of it.

He was given that trust, even when he did end up killing Ignis.

Gladio has too many realizations at once during his nocturnal reflecting; the way Ignis feels towards him is suddenly so, so crystal clear that Gladio wonders how stupid can a human being be and how many times he’s crossed that limit. And he realizes that if it was already terrible in unfixable measures what he did to Ignis, adding to it the way Ignis feels towards him makes it a thousand, a million times worse. So excruciatingly cruel. Torture.

And he understands what Prompto told him to learn before asking Ignis for forgiveness; that he’s not asking it for only ‘one comment’.

After realizing the way Ignis feels towards him, how much that makes grow the context of Ignis’ depression, and how bigger and worse this makes things, Gladio picks a sleeping Iris in arms, gets her on the truck, and drives as far as he can go without being risky, because suddenly the days of travel to Hammerhead are a torture; he needs to be there now, and see Ignis now, fix things now, or he’ll go crazy.

Ignis gave me that trust all these years ago, so lovingly, so selflessly, and it wasn’t enough with not noticing I had his heart in my hands all this time.

I also broke it and let it die.

This is terrible.