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#I HAVE MISSED CHRISTINE ZIGGY BERMAN
chmerical-a · 2 years
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❛   i also buried a part of myself alongside them.  ❜  (from joey for ziggy?)
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she's  not  used  to  company,  never  has  been,  but  after nightwing?  well,  friends..no,  not  even  friends,  acquaintances more  like,  were  more  than  sparse.  and  while  there's  that  tight frown  stubbornly  tugging  her  lips  down,  ziggy  berman  can't  help but  be  relieved  at  the  sight  of  a  familiar  face,  if  only  for  a moment.  the  rest  of  the  town  had  written  her  of  as  a  nutcase, someone  desperate  and  looking  for  attention.  as  if  the  redhead would  even  want  anything  like  that.  the  mere  thought  brings out  a  nasty  bit  of  vexation,  a  defensive  wall  she's  put  up  for years  to  avoid  the  judgment,  and  the  hurt  that  comes  from  it.
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she  doesn't  know  why  joey  stuck  around  to  talk  to  her,  she doesn't  bother  to  ask,  assumptions  always  win  with  her  anyway. and  she's  so  close  to  ushering  him  away,  slamming  the  door  in his  face  to  hide  away  from  intrusive,  prying  eyes.  but  it's  not until  he's  looking  at  her  with  an  earnest  gaze  with  eyes  that just  get  it,  that  she'll  feel  that  reticence  beginning  to  back  off and,  well..  maybe  a  few  bricks  will  fall,  the  carefully  built  wall weakening  just  a  tad.  and  she  finds  herself  feeling  some  sense of  comfort,  she's  not  alone.  they  both  lost  someone  important that  night.  and  maybe  that  thought  makes  her  heart  hurt  a little  less.  they're  in  her  living  room,  tea  filled  mugs  resting  on her  table,  mismatched  coasters  underneath  them.  baby  blues dart  away  from  him  at  his  words,  her  heart  giving  a  squeeze,  a pang  of  pain  she's  spent  years  numbing  away.  and  as  her  hands reach  for  her  drink,  she  wishes  there  was  something  stronger  in her  mug.  all  she  can  do  is  furrow  her  brows,  taking  a  beat before  bringing  it  to  her  lips,  taking  a  tentative  sip  before bringing  it  back  down,  though  her  hands  will  stay  tightly gripped  on  it.  there's  no  denying  she's  taken  aback,  being  so plainly  seen  will  do  that  to  a  person  after  all,  ❝  speak  for yourself,  slater,  not  like  i  had  much  to  lose.  ❞  and  there's  that damn  temper  of  hers  taking  over,  a  bark  that  almost  makes  her wince.  a  breath,  a  beat,  and  she'll  set  the  mug  down,  eyes decidedly  pointed  down,  ❝  do..  do  you  think  about  them...  it often?  ❞  it's  sincere,  so  much  that  she  can't  bring  herself  to bring  those  baby  blues  of  hers  up  to  meet  his  gaze.  she's stubborn  and  it'll  stay  put,  there's  no  getting  the  redhead  to back  down,  never  has  been  (  though  part  of  her  knows  it's  that shame  from  vulnerability,  and  that's  not  exactly  the  toughest thing,  is  it?  ❝  i..  y'know,  i  thought  it'd  come  and  go  in  waves  at this  point,  but..  well,  ah..  ❞  and  she  has  to  take  a  moment,  as embarrassing  as  it  is,  ❝  it's  a  constant.  ever  since  the  night  it happened.  there's  this...  it's  just  hard.  and  sometimes  i  really don't  know  what  to  do  with  it.  ❞
✱ㅤㅤ@tragicsongs sent in a meme!!
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cyanide-latte · 2 years
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Red [A Fear Street drabble]
Written for Fear Street Appreciation Week 2022
Day 4 (June 29): Fluff or and “Red”
Originally posted to AO3 here (if you’re interested in my author’s notes, that’s where you’ll find them; please consider leaving a comment and kudos, even if you’re a guest!)
Rating: General
Word count: 1164
Characters: Cindy Berman, Christine “Ziggy” Berman
Warnings: No serious warnings apply, but I don’t trust the wiki pages to be accurate so I keep their age difference vague; Ziggy’s nickname as a 5-y.o. is “Chrissy”, since this definitely takes place before 1972
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    “When can I go with you to camp?”
    Cindy looked over from her careful selection of shirts at her little sister.  Christine was hovering in the doorway, looking miserable and wan in a faded, thinning shirt as she dragged around an old stuffed animal dog.  She was supposed to be in bed and resting to break her fever, but leave it to Chrissy to haul herself out from under the covers and find her big sis to pout at her.
    “You have to be six years old first,” Cindy answered importantly.  “Then you can come to camp and stay.”
    “That’s no fair,” Chrissy muttered, crossing her arms as she pouted, the poor, patched dog swinging by a paw that moved a little too freely to suggest it was still securely attached.  “That’s a whole year away!”
    “It’s the camp rules,” Cindy said.  “You have to be six years old or older.”
    Chrissy glared at her for a long moment, not budging.  This wasn’t exactly new, she wasn’t the type of person to budge often, but Cindy could only shrug.  There wasn’t anything she could do about the rules the camp made.  Still, she found herself having to look away, because her little sister had a way of looking at you that saw right through to whatever you were hiding.  And part of Cindy felt a little guilty that she’d been excited for the chance to spend one last summer without her little sister running after her.
    “That’s dumb,” Christine declared, with the forthrightness of a child thwarted and indignant.  After a long pause while Cindy selected two of the shirts from what she’d set out, Chrissy added in a tiny little voice “I miss you.”
    She turned to her sister.  “I’m not even gone yet, Chrissy,” she said.  “The bus for camp doesn’t come until tomorrow.”
    “Yeah,” Chrissy mumbled, looking down at her slippered feet as she tried scuffing them along the floor.  “I miss you anyway.”
    Softening, Cindy opened her arms wide and waited.  Christine glanced up, eyes huge, and hesitated only a second before rushing into the hug and clinging to her as tightly as her tiny arms could manage, the stuffed animal thumping gently on her sister’s back.  Belatedly, Cindy thought maybe their mom wouldn’t want them hugging each other or being too close together while Chrissy was fighting a fever, but it would be okay.  She was sure she wouldn’t get sick, not if her sister was well enough to get up out of bed and continue to get into mischief.
    “I won’t be gone forever,” she tried to say.
    “Yeah you will,” Christine mumbled into her hair.  “Every day is a forever.”
    She wondered what she meant by that.  Her mind drifted briefly to their parents, and how both of them always seemed to be busy enough now they barely played with them.  How sometimes, Mom would either just let them run around the park or watch TV all day when she didn’t feel like taking them to a friend’s house or doing something with them.  Secretly, Cindy said a little prayer that her sister’s summer wouldn’t be just one big lousy ‘forever’ until she got back from camp.
    They let go of the hug together, and Cindy picked at the sleeve of Christine’s oversized shirt.  It was one of hers that had been gifted secondhand, and had faded so bad that its once-vibrant crimson color was now only a few dull shades darker than pink.  It was wearing thin in several places, and the sunflower design on it had been flipped inside-out, as part of Chrissy’s current protest that she now disliked flowers.
    “Did you get my old shirt to use as a nightgown?”
    Her sister nodded so vigorously that her curtain of red hair flew up and down with the motion.  “Mommy gave it to me ‘cause I threw up on my PJs.”
    “You sure you didn’t pick it because it’s the same color as your hair?”
    Chrissy pursed her lips and became very interested in a spot on the floor all of a sudden, and Cindy dropped the teasing with a small laugh, scooting back over to the clothes she was going through, pointing at them.
    “Wanna help me pick what I’m going to take to camp?” she asked.
    “No,” Chrissy answered, but she plopped down beside her anyway, holding the stuffed dog tight against her middle as she looked at all the clothes.  “If you get lost on the way to camp and your bus throws you out and you have to hike in the desert for twenty years and get eaten by bears and a tiger before you get home, do I get all your stuff?”
    Cindy rolled her eyes.  “That doesn’t make any sense,” she said.  “And no, you don’t get my stuff, and no, that’s not going to happen anyway.”
    “But it could,” Chrissy argued.  She went quiet for a little while as she watched Cindy pick and fold her shirts the way Grandma taught her, then eventually asked, “When will you get back from camp?”
    “I don’t know,” Cindy said, the words coming out before she really had a chance to think about them.  “Whenever Mom and Dad say I’m coming home, I guess.”
    “But that could take forever.”
    “Chrissy, how long do you think ‘forever’ is?”
    “Every day you’re not with me.”
    She couldn’t really give a rebuttal for that.  She didn’t think her sister would listen and at this point, she didn’t want to keep talking about how long she’d be gone.  If this kept up, she’d feel guilty about going at all.  She was already close enough to crying as it was, what with that last remark.
    “I’ll bring you back a souvenir, if that makes anything better,” she said.
    “Really?” Chrissy turned to her, eyes huge again.  “What’ll you get me?”
    She thought about it for a moment.  It was a promise made in haste and without consideration, and now she was really going to have to make it come true.  Not that it would be a pain.  She loved and adored Christine, and if promising to bring back some kind of little present would make her happy and help her get through the separation, then it was no big deal to get her something.  She considered, wondering what would work as a decent souvenir, and her eyes fell on the faded old shirt again.
    “Hmm…”  She allowed herself a small smile.  “Alice and I’ll steal a color war shirt from Sunnyvale for you to wear.”
    If it was possible for Christine’s eyes to get even wider, they somehow did.
    “Really?” she asked, leaning closer and squeezing the stuffed dog hard enough Cindy thought its head was in danger of popping off.  “You mean it?”
    “Of course I mean it!”
    The dog hit the floor as Chrstine launched herself at her sister, shrieking “You’re the best!” and Cindy caught her in a hug, warm and happy together.
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lesbianlotties · 3 years
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Journeys end in lovers meeting - Sam/Deena - Fear Street x Bly Manor AU - Chapter 2
Chapters: 2/10 Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Sarah Fier/Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson Characters: Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Deena Johnson, Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Constance (Fear Street Part 3: 1666), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street), Alice (Fear Street Part 2: 1978), Sarah Fier (Fear Street), Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Solomon Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The Haunting of Bly Manor AU, Not Canon Compliant, Haunted Houses, Ghosts, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Canon Lesbian Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Au Pair Sam, Gardener Deena, Housekeeper Kate, Cook Simon, Josh and Constance as troubled kids, Ziggy and Nick in an unhealthy relationship, minor Cindy/Alice, Martin cameos, special appearances of all the Shadyside killers as ghosts, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, The Rest Is Confetti Summary:
The year is 1994. Samantha Fraser recently moved to Shadyside, and she desperately needs a job that will help her leave her troubled past behind. She starts working as au pair at Shadyside Manor, where she is not the only one tortured by ghosts. Grief, regrets, guilt, innocent victims, and an ancient curse. At the center of all of it... love.
Chapter 2:
Sam hadn’t been kidding when she said she would deal with the kids by herself. About nine years as a teacher were worth it. She knew exactly how to balance patience and authority, and exactly when to crack a smile. It wasn’t time for smiles though. It was time to let the kids of Shadyside manor know that their days of self-government were over. Sam was brought there to bring them an education, and that included rules, discipline, and consequences to their actions.
So, if they locked her in a closet, there would have to be a sort of punishment. If they were responsible for the muddy footprints that appeared on the staircase of the house, there would also be a punishment. Nothing too severe, of course. Sam knew even the word punishment seemed too hard for kids. But she knew this would be her only chance at asserting her position in that place.
That was how, after breakfast, Sam found herself with nothing to do while Josh and Constance worked on cleaning up the stairs. Luckily, she was quickly approached by two of her coworkers.
“So, since you have put the kids to do my work,” Kate said. “Why don’t you come hang us for a bit?”
Simon pulled out one of the chairs from the table and with a flourish offered it to Sam, “Miss Fraser, would you care to join us for a mid-morning shit-talking session?”
“Oh, sure,” Sam chuckled nervously and accepted the seat. “And you can just call me Sam.” She couldn’t help repeating herself. She didn’t exactly have good memories attached to her name. She only ever wished to be just Sam.
“Don’t creep her out, please,” Kate told her friend and two of them took a seat as well. “So, Sam, what do you think of the house so far? And the kids?”
The new au pair took her time to answer. “The house is… big. It’s uh, I mean, sure, it looks scary. But once inside, it doesn’t feel as bad as the rumors make it out to be, you know?”
Kate nodded firmly, seemingly satisfied with that answer. Simon grinned playfully and leaned forward on the table as if about to discuss a secret, “You don’t have haunted houses in Sunnyvale?”
Sam chuckled bitterly at that. Apparently, it wasn’t a secret for anyone the place she came from. If only they knew the full story. “No we don’t,” she looked down and shook her head. “Sunnyvale has its different types of hauntings though.”
“What about the kids?” Kate blurted out.
“The Sunnyvale kids?”
“What? No! Constance and Josh,” Kate scoffed, and sent an unimpressed look in Sam's way. 
“Oh, right,” Sam laughed nervously. She desperately hoped she wasn’t blushing in embarrassment. Kate was staring at her very intently, studying her. But it was, somehow, not getting exactly the effect she was hoping for in Sam. Because yes, maybe Sam was deeply intimidated. But she could also tell that Kate’s harshness came from a place of being protective of the kids and caring about them. “They seem great, really,” Sam eventually replied. “Constance is bold and Josh is an introvert, but I’ve dealt with kids like that my entire life. I’m going to try my best with them though, that’s for sure. I just… have to get to know them.”
At that moment, Kate and Simon exchanged a look. Sam had no doubt it was true that those two had been best friends for a long time. It seemed like a really important conversation was silently happening between them. Finally, Simon spoke up.
“No, you haven’t worked with kids like them,” he replied, suddenly very careful with his words. “No offense, you know? But, bold and introverted mean different things in Sunnyvale and Shadyside. Here they mean something more along the lines of survivor and traumatized.”
A not completely discreet cough from Kate got him to stop talking. “No, I know, I’m sorry,” Sam was quick to apologize. They weren’t completely wrong. “I know, it’s just, well… I don’t know anything… I mean, what, uh, why…” She ended with a sigh and slumping in her chair, knowing there was no right way to ask the questions she had in mind.
“Constance’s parents died two years ago,” Kate said. She was speaking almost in whispers, but it nearly startled Sam, who didn’t think she’d get any sort of explanation. Afterward, she would hope she hadn’t. “Cindy Berman and husband. Plane crashed. Then, last year… her aunt. Christine killed herself here on the property. Really gives you some perspective into all the fucking rumors, doesn’t it?”
Afterward, Sam was beyond speechless. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t find a thing to say. That’s when Simon joined in.
“And Josh, he… uh, well, he is not one of the Bermans,” Simon was struggling to explain. “Look, he has his own fucked up past, okay? But I can’t tell you more because Deena would totally kick my ass. It’s their story to tell, you know? The past is the past anyway.”
Sam nodded thoughtfully. At least, she hoped she appeared thoughtful. Not too thoughtful though. Just thoughtful enough for someone that has perfectly normal reactions to hearing the name of a very particular co-worker. That momentary panic at least gave her an idea of how to reply to the tough conversation. A change of subject.
“What about you guys?” Sam asked. “How did you end up working at the manor?”
Instantly, Kate seemed to relax. “I just like bossing people around,” she grinned, earning laughter from the other two. “My aunt used to work here. Alice pays well enough. And if you don’t get scared easily, it’s not a bad place to live in.”
Sam smiled at her and then looked at Simon, noticing how he didn’t look half as relaxed as Kate this time. “What can I say?” he smiled in a way that kept a lot hidden. “It pays the bills. It’s close to home. And I fucking love food.”
The au pair decided it wasn’t time to push for more information. Instead, in that brief moment of silence, she turned her head to look through the door at Josh and Constance working on the stairs. They were doing well, but their day was far from over. From her point of view, she had no way of seeing the man standing on the other side of the stairs. Tommy Slater had been standing there for longer than he could remember. He was still wearing his red flannel shirt, still holding on to his axe, still looking impossibly sad, cold, and lonely.
--
As she made her way to the greenhouse, Sam tried to convince herself she wasn’t nervous at all. She had no reason to be anxious at all. Deena Johnson was another one of her coworkers. Sure, maybe she pulled Sam out of a pretty embarrassing breakdown the previous night. Yes, maybe she had an incredible smile that almost painfully reminded Sam of feelings she had spent a lifetime running from. But… she reached the greenhouse before coming up with a reason not to be on edge.
“Hi?” she called out, tentatively stepping inside the place.
“Over here,” a voice replied from the back of the greenhouse. A voice that was like no other Sam had ever heard.
“Um, hi, Deena,” Sam approached her slowly. “It’s me, uh, Sam.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Deena replied, a small smile on her lips. She stood up from the ground, where she had been kneeling down to work on one of the multiple plants that filled this space. “What do you have there?” Deena asked, nodding toward the plate Sam was holding in her hand.
Sam looked down, as if she had forgotten what it was she was carrying. “Simon,” she blurted out.
“Oh. He looks a little bit different than I remember.”
That made Sam laugh nervously. “I mean, it’s your breakfast,” Sam said. “You didn’t come down for breakfast and Simon asked me to bring it to you.”
Deena nodded slowly, and accepted the plate from Sam’s hands. Then she moved to one of the two chairs at the back of the greenhouse and sat down, inspecting her breakfast.
Afterward, Sam might chastise herself for it, but at the moment she couldn’t help but blurt out, “You’re welcome.”
That earned her an annoyed sigh from the gardener. “Listen, you don’t have to do this,” Deena said.
“Do what?” Sam wondered, taking a seat on the spare chair.
“Play nice with us, with me,” Deena explained, nearly whispering the last part.
“I…” Sam stuttered, she was definitely taken off guard. “Well, we are coworkers now, we live under the same roof, I think-”
“I think you have no idea what you got yourself into. This place, and everyone here, is doomed,” Deena interrupted her. “You’re Sunnyvale, we are Shadyside trash. I know your type. I only hope you’ll run away before the kids get attached to you.”
For a moment, all Sam could do was stare, frown silently at Deena, as the other woman nonchalantly got started on her breakfast, as if she hadn’t just put Sam’s entire mood upside down. It was interesting though, the way Deena chose not to mention the fact that she skipped breakfast just to avoid a set of blue eyes that were too dangerously pretty to wander into Shadyside.
Sam jumped out of her seat, and took a deep breath to reign in her feelings. “You don’t know me at all,” was all she said before walking out of the greenhouse.
--
The rest of the morning passed by in a blur of hard work, mostly for the kids. Surprisingly though, at one point they stopped looking so bothered about it. Josh wasn’t the kind to complain out loud, but Sam noticed from the way his shoulders relaxed and his lips almost started to smile. Constance, on the other hand, was pretty content complaining as much as possible, but she seemed happier doing something new, entertaining, and different from studying. They especially seemed to enjoy working outside.
Sam had wanted to avoid the unkind gardener as much as possible, but she had already planned this, so there was no turning back. This was part of the kids’ education, hard work, and Sam was proud of her methods. The one thing she wasn’t proud of was the way the gardener was making her feel. Her plan to avoid Deena had backfired. Deena, Kate, and Simon were lounging in the garden, while Sam guided Josh and Constance on their work.
As hard as she tried, Sam couldn’t stop herself from second-guessing what her new coworkers were talking about. Were they talking about her? Good things? Did Kate and Simon feel the same way as Deena? Were they criticizing her? Those smiles on their faces, was that a good or bad sign? Deena’s posture on that chair, the way she held a cigarette, played with the delicate chain hanging from her neck, teased her young brother, locked eyes with Sam precisely once… did it mean anything at all?
--
The rest of the morning went by easily. Sam dragged Josh and Constance back to the house to continue cleaning, and they had to comply. Tragic as it seemed, they couldn’t complain to anybody. Kate, Simon, Deena, even Alice in the safety of her own home, they all would have supported Sam’s teaching methods at best, would’ve laughed in their faces at worst. 
Things couldn’t be perfect though. Sam would scold herself for letting her guard down at all. She had been in one of the bedrooms, assisting Constance with cleaning the windows, when it happened. One second it was just a window, showing the green grounds around the property, nothing more. Then the next second, all Sam could see was his face. Dark. Just a shadow. Furious. Disgusted. Head tilted. Observing her. Unforgiving. Horribly familiar.
Sam let out a yelp of surprise and stumbled backward. She caught herself before falling down to the floor, but not before Constance saw her. At first, the girl chuckled, but she sounded somewhat genuine when she asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m- uh, I’m okay,” Sam replied, voice trembling. “Give me a minute.”
She was out of that room before hearing the girl’s reply. She couldn’t move fast enough, but her legs were trembling. She couldn’t shake that image of her mind. Her own particular ghost. The monster that she hadn’t been able to leave in Sunnyvale. Following her reflection everywhere she went.
Sam stumbled down the stairs and out of the house. She finally found refuge behind one of the big bushes on the sides of the entrance. A place where she could break down in peace. She couldn’t stop the tears, and she could hardly breathe, and she was so scared.
“Are you okay?”
The question makes Sam choke one of her sobs. Of all people that could have caught her at this moment…
“I get it,” Deena cautiously added, from a safe distance away. “I swear I had the same reaction after I met Constance.” She could barely see Sam, hiding behind the bush, but she guessed that privacy was exactly what the blonde wanted. “If Josh’s the problem though, just let me know. You aren’t allowed to, but I can totally kick his ass.” That earned her a tearful chuckle from Sam, which was a very good sign. “Just so you know though,” Deena added, “That’s usually my spot for having an emotional breakdown. Now I have to go to this other corner and there are spiders and shit in there, no privacy at all.”
This time, there was a genuine laugh coming from Sam. The tears had stopped, and she managed to find the strength to look over her shoulder, show her face to Deena and say, “Thank you.”
Deena softly shook her head, dismissing Sam’s need to thank her. “You’re doing better than most people could,” she said. Seeing Sam smile sadly, acknowledging her tear-streaked face, Deena insisted, “I mean it.”
There was a pause then. Sam opened her mouth, desperately wishing she could say something else. All she wanted was to ask Deena how she could be so kind and so cruel as if a switch was flipped inside her. But Sam feared that saying more than two words would make her cry again. Deena took that as her cue to go on with her day.
“Back to work then,” Deena said, starting to march back into the house. “Stay strong, Sunnyvale.”
Definitely done with her tears, Sam was having trouble holding back her smile. She tried to sneak another glance at the gardener, but Deena was gone, leaving behind only a pleasant warmth in Sam’s heart and a firm smile on her face.
--
Nine years of teaching had taught Sam a lot. She knew how to handle kids, that was for sure. The unruly ones, the proud ones, the ones that struggled, and the ones that shined brightly. Simon had been right when he said she had never worked with kids like Josh and Constance. Still, she was prepared to deal with Josh picking up spiders from the garden, and trying to scare her. She didn’t lose her ground even when Constance’s attitude sometimes made Sam feel like she was the teenager out of the two of them.
What she did that day wasn’t the worst Sam had to do for one of her students. Still, it was pretty awkward explaining to Deena how her younger brother had massacred the rose bushes to give the flowers to Sam.
When the two women arrived at the scene of the crime, it was a huge mess. Josh had picked a few roses for Sam and destroyed the rest. He must have been pretty aggressive to earn that small limp he had when he walked toward Sam a few minutes earlier.
The teenager fell to second place in the forefront of Sam’s mind though. She was slightly more preoccupied about the furious gardener gripping the broken stem of a rose as if it were a knife.
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Deena yelled, not for the first time in the past minute, and tried to walk away.
“Hey,” Sam stopped her with a firm tone and a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll deal with him, it’s my job.”
Deena took a deep breath. She was pretty much shaking with anger still. She pursed her lips, suddenly aware of the way she had been yelling at the innocent au pair for god knows how long now. She wasn’t good at apologizing though. She slumped her shoulders and exhaled.
“It’s just… he should know better than this,” Deena said bitterly. “We are lucky to be living here. He knows he has to stay out of trouble.” She looked up into Sam’s blue eyes and the careful attention she found there nearly turned her breathless. “That was the deal,” Deena added softly, taking a moment to gulp nervously. “I made a deal with Cindy Berman years ago, when we had nothing. Josh and I could live here, and I’d pay her by working on the grounds of the manor.”
Sam nodded slowly, with a barely-there smile that let Deena know she had listened, and understood. “It’s okay,” Sam said. “I don’t think it’ll be a big deal. I won’t say anything if you don’t.” The two women exchanged a smile. “It’s just a few flowers-”
“It’s not just a few flowers,” Deena protested immediately.
“I know, I know,” Sam quickly said. She was tiptoeing the line between fearing Deena’s temper and being endeared by how protective she was of her plants. “They’re also a weapon, apparently.”
Deena tilted her head in confusion. “Ah,” she said when she looked down at the rose’s stem she was still holding in her hand. She couldn’t say anything else though. Sam had taken the initiative to reach out and gently pry open Deena’s fist to take the stem away. That’s when they both noticed there had been thorns involved. “Shit,” Deena cursed.
“Um,” Sam mumbled pensively as she stared at the couple of red spots on Deena’s hand. “You know, to be a teacher, you have to learn a thing or two about first aid. Do you want help?”
Deena was already shaking her head. Her wild curls shook with her movement. “No, it’s okay- fuck!” She exclaimed in pain the moment she tried to close her hand again. Now there were a few drops of blood on her palm. “Fine,” she grumbled. 
--
Deena was so upset about having someone bandaging her hand, that Sam found the whole process much easier than she had expected. It was a little bit like dealing with a kid, not that she would ever admit such a thing to the gardener. 
“So, you really like those roses, huh?” Sam asked while cleaning up the little wounds in Deena’s palm.
“They’re some of my favorites from the entire property,” Deena shrugged. “I like all these plants more than most people, that’s for sure.”
Sam nodded, picking up the bandages. “Why would he do this?” she asked. “Josh, I mean. He doesn’t seem to be the type to vandalize the gardens.”
“He isn’t. There was one bad fucking influence and…” Deena replied. Her words were hiding a lot, but her resentful tone warned the au pair against making any further questions. Instead, Deena looked up and added, “or maybe… he just really likes you, Sunnyvale.”
Sam laughed at that, and ducked her head to avoid those gorgeous brown eyes. Surprisingly, she decided to admit something right then and there in the otherwise empty kitchen of the manor while holding on to Deena’s hand. “You do know I’m not even from Sunnyvale, right?” 
“What?” Deena asked. She looked caught off guard for the first time since Sam met her.
“You guys don’t fact-check your gossip, huh?” Sam chuckled. “I was born here, in Shadyside. I moved away when I was little, after my father died, but… I guess, now I’m trying to find my home, you know?”
“Right,” Deena replied.
She blinked slowly, and her eyebrows furrowed into a small frown as she took in the information, the significance of Sam sharing it with her, and the unknown reason why the word home sounded so perfect coming from Sam’s smiling lips.
After a brief silence that felt like it stretched for hours, Deena cleared her throat. “Well, uh, thank you, for giving me a hand,” she said. The mention of her hand made both women realize that this entire time they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. They pulled away from each other quickly, but nothing could have wiped the smiles off their faces. “It’s not the worst I’ve dealt with so I better get back to work. I guess I’ll see you around… Sunnyvale.”
Sam didn’t even attempt to hold back her grin. Distantly, she wished she wasn’t blushing too much, but that was it. She turned around to watch Deena walk away from the kitchen. Then she was rewarded with the sight of Deena looking back at her once before crossing the doorway.
When she was alone again, Sam leaned her back against the counter and sighed. It was a mixture of contentment and exhaustion. She had tried her best to maintain a good impression in front of Deena, and now she could finally relax. She was starting to understand her better too, how Deena’s boldness came from a good place of being protective over her brother, and maybe even over the whole property. Sam’s exhaustion though, didn’t come from anywhere near Deena, the teens, or the house. She was only realizing how absurdly debilitating it had been to keep up a false version of herself at all times during those years in Sunnyvale. Slowly but surely, she was leaving all that behind.
Sam took a deep breath and straightened up. Then she started to walk out of the kitchen following the path Deena had walked a minute ago. She didn’t have to look back before crossing the doorway, she just kept walking. This way, she missed Ryan Torres’s presence in one corner of the kitchen. Lonesome, unknown, fumbling with the knife he still carried at all times.
--
“Josh! Constance! You guys are way too old for this kind of game!” Sam was yelling as she walked around the house. She didn’t understand how Kate hadn’t heard her yet.
She wasn’t scared. Just because they had turned off all the lights and she was only barely familiar with the house didn’t mean she should be scared. The kids wanted to improvise a game of hide and seek to avoid going to bed? Fine. Sam wasn’t scared of the dark. In the darkness she couldn’t see her reflection and whatever cursed company she would find there. If she had to drag a couple of teenagers to their beds from their ears then so be it. 
When Sam caught sight of the curtains of one room moving strangely, she hurried towards it and pulled at it, but there was nobody there. She sighed, disappointed, stressed, but not scared, not yet. She heard footsteps behind her, and when she turned around, she distinctly heard the front door of the house open. Chills ran through Sam’s spine. It was unsettling, but not too bad, right? She would be deeply upset if she had to chase a pair of teenagers out in the middle of a storm, but it could be worse.
It could be worse… Maybe it was much worse than she imagined. That was the thought going through Sam’s mind when, very slowly, she turned back around to face the window again. At first, it looked like a blur. Then, she feared it was that same ghostly silhouette that followed her everywhere. Somehow, it was worse. Somehow, the figure moved closer and it became clear. There was a man standing on the other side of the window. Tall. Dark hair. Hazel eyes. Smile that never, under any circumstances, would have been mistaken for friendly.
Sam took a step backward, so did he. Then she took off running. Not in the direction some might have expected. She wasn’t running away to hide. She ran out of that room, taking the fireplace poker from its stand and gripping it with force as she rushed out of the house.
“I’m going to call the police!” Sam yelled while the rain poured down on her. “I’m going to call the fucking police!”
She ran toward the window where she’d seen that man. He was nowhere to be seen but, as if it was all part of a pattern, she stumbled across the worst possible scenario.
“Sam?” Josh mumbled. He was just standing there, shaking with cold, drenched from the rain… then he just crumbled down, falling to the ground, unconscious.
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abcsupercorp · 3 years
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Cindy Berman Characters: Cindy Berman (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: protective sister, Berman Sisters, I love the Berman Sisters, I have an emotional attachment to Cindy and Ziggy Berman, Protective Siblings, Protective Cindy Berman, Fuck Nick Goode, i hate nick goode Series: Part 4 of Berman Sisters Summary:
"Miss. Berman." The doctor says, "You have a visitor."
 "Who?" Ziggy asks.
 Nick walks into Ziggy's hospital room.
 "What the hell is he doing here?" Cindy says.
 OR
An AU where both sisters live and the aftermath of it all. But mainly Cindy being overly protective and hating Nick Goode because we were robbed of that.
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moonlit-imagines · 5 years
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Fandom/Character List
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(Updated March 8, 2024)
this is a list of all the fandoms and characters I write for, if you don’t see a character you’re looking for on here, feel free to ask about them! (some i forget, some are too obscure to add, but not too obscure to write for, and some i actually don’t write for. i’ll let you know!)
*note that i write for almost any character platonic/familial, even some unlisted characters!
*strikethrough means currently not accepting requests for said character/fandom!
check out my status page to see how far i am in a requestable fandom!
check out my watchlist for my in progress and in line shows/movies!
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American Horror Story
Murder House, Asylum, Coven
Batfamily/DCAU
Batfamily (based on comics, fanon, and animated movies)
Barbara Gordon/Oracle, Bruce Wayne/Batman, Cassandra Cain/Black Bat, Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Jason Todd/Red Hood, Stephanie Brown/Spoiler, Tim Drake/Red Robin
*i currently do not write for Damian Wayne/Robin romantically
Harley Quinn (Show)
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn, Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy
Young Justice
Artemis Crock/Tigress, Bart Allen/Impulse, Conner Kent/Superboy, Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Garfield Logan/Beast Boy, Jade Nguyen/Cheshire, Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle, Kaldur’ahm/Aqualad, M’gann M’orzz/Miss Martian, Roy Harper/Arsenal, Violet Harper/Halo, Wally West/Kid Flash, Will Harper/Red Arrow, Zatanna Zatara
Cobra Kai/Karate Kid
Aisha Robinson, Ali Mills, Amanda LaRusso, Carmen Diaz, Daniel LaRusso, Demetri Alexopoulos, Devon Lee, Eli Moskowitz/Hawk, Johnny Lawrence, Miguel Diaz, Moon, Piper Elswith, Robby Keene, Tory Nichols
DC Extended Universe
Abner Krill/Polka-Dot Man, Adrian Chase/Vigilante, Arthur Curry/Aquaman, Barbara Minerva/Cheetah, Barry Allen/Flash, Billy Batson/Shazam, Bruce Wayne/Batman, Cassandra Cain, Cleo Cazo/Ratcatcher 2, Christopher Smith/Peacemaker, Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, Dinah Lance/Black Canary, Emilia Harcourt, Floyd Lawton/Deadshot, Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn, Helena Bertinelli/Huntress, June Moon/Enchantress, Leota Adebayo, Max Lord, Renee Montoya, Rick Flag, Robert DuBois/Bloodsport, Steve Trevor, Victor Stone/Cyborg
DCTV
Gotham
Barbara Kean, Edward Nygma/Riddler, Ivy Pepper/Poison Ivy, Jerome Valeska/Joker, Jim Gordon, Leslie Thompkins, Selina Kyle/Catwoman, Tabitha Galavan, Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin
Titans
Conner Kent/Superboy, Dawn Granger/Dove, Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Donna Troy/Wonder Girl, Garfield Logan/Beast Boy, Hank Hall/Hawk, Jason Todd/Red Hood, Jericho Wilson, Komand’r/Blackfire, Kory Anders/Starfire, Rachel Roth/Raven, Rose Wilson/Ravager, Tim Drake/Robin
DC Movies (Non-DCEU/Animation)
Batman (Keaton) - Bruce Wayne/Batman, Selina Kyle/Catwoman, Vicki Vale
Batman (Kilmer) - Bruce Wayne/Batman, Dick Grayson/Robin, Edward Nygma/Riddler, Harvey Dent/Two-Face
Batman (Clooney) - Barbara Wilson/Batgirl, Bruce Wayne/Batman, Dick Grayson/Robin, Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy, Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze
Batman (Bale) - Bruce Wayne/Batman, Harvey Dent/Two-Face, Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow
Batman (Pattinson) - Bruce Wayne/Batman, Edward Nashton/Riddler, Selina Kyle/Catwoman
Joker - Arthur Fleck/Joker*
*I will not write for Arthur Fleck/Joker romantically!
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Rodrick Heffley
Disney Animation
Aladdin, Alice in Wonderland, Beauty and the Beast, Brave, Frozen, The Little Mermaid, Moana, Peter Pan, Princess and the Frog, Tangled
*this list is organized by movie as of right now, but I can write for most of the main characters. If you have a question, please ask!
Disney Channel Original Movies
Descendants (might make a comeback pending new content)
Audrey Rose, Ben Florian, Carlos De Vil, Evie Grimhilde, Harry Hook, Jay Max, Mal Bertha, Uma
Teen Beach Movie
Brady Derulo, Butchy Dean, Giggles, Lela Dean, Mckenzie Fox/Mack, Seacat, Tanner Lewis
Euphoria
Cassie Howard, Chris McKay, Elliot, Fezco, Jules Vaughn, Kat Hernandez, Lexi Howard, Maddy Perez, Rue Bennett
Fear Street
Cindy Berman, Christine Berman/Ziggy, Deena Johnson, Josh Johnson, Kate Schmidt, Samantha Fraser, Simon Kalivoda
Friends
Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani, Monica Geller, Phoebe Buffay, Rachel Green
The Good Place
Chidi Anagonye, Eleanor Shellstrop, Janet, Jason Mendoza, Michael, Tahani Al-Jamil
Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts
Bellatrix Lestrange, Bunty Broadacre, Cedric Diggory, Credence Barebone, Eulalie Hicks, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Jacob Kowalski, Leta Lestrange, Luna Lovegood, Newt Scamander, Porpentina Goldstein, Queenie Goldstein, Ron Weasley, Theseus Scamander
*If the character you are looking for is barely in the movies, I don’t write for them. I haven’t read the books so beyond the movies, I have no way of knowing what they’re like.
I Am Not Okay with This
Stanley Barber, Sydney Novak
Indiana Jones
Indiana Jones, Marion Ravenwood, Mutt Williams, Willie Scott
It
Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough, Eddie Kaspbrak, Mike Hanlon, Richie Tozier, Stanley Uris
*Please specify older or younger characters
*I do not write for Bower’s Gang romatically
*IT kids will not be written for romantically, crushes are acceptable
Marvel Cinematic Universe
Marvel Movies
Adam Warlock, Ajak, Alexei Shostakov/Red Guardian, Bruce Banner/Hulk, Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier, Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel, Clint Barton/Hawkeye, Darcy Lewis, Druig, Gamora, Gilgamesh, Hela Odinsdottir, Helmut Zemo, Hope Van Dyne/Wasp, Jane Foster, Jimmy Woo, Katy Chen, Kingo, Liz Allan, Loki Laufeyson, Makkari, Maria Rambeau, Maria Hill, May Parker, Melina Vostokoff/Black Widow, Michelle Jones, Mobius, Monica Rambeau, Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, Peggy Carter, Pepper Potts/Rescue, Peter Parker/Spider-Man, Peter Quill/Star Lord, Phastos, Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver, Sam Wilson/Falcon, Scott Lang/Ant-Man, Sersi, Xu Shang-Chi, Sharon Carter/Agent 13, Stephen Strange/Doctor Strange, Steve Rogers/Captain America, Thena, Thor Odinson, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Valkyrie, Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch, Xu Xialing, Yelena Belova/Black Widow*
*I currently don’t write for Yelena Belova romantically!
Disney+ Originals*
Agatha Harkness/Agnes, Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk, Karli Morganthau/Flag Smasher, Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel, Kate Bishop/Hawkeye, Kazi Kazimierczak/Clown, Layla El-Faouly/Scarlet Scarab, Marc Spector/Moon Knight, Maya Lopez/Echo, Steven Grant/Mr. Knight, Sylvie Laufeydottir
*listed in this section is any character who has not shown up in movies yet! but other characters like wanda maximoff and sam wilson are still technically in this category depending on the fic!
Defenders - PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST PROMPTS FOR: Iron Fist S2, Punisher S2, Jessica Jones S3 as I have not watched them yet
Claire Temple, Colleen Wing, Danny Rand/Iron Fist, Elektra Nachios, Foggy Nelson, Frank Castle/Punisher, Jessica Jones, Joy Meachum, Karen Page, Luke Cage, Malcolm Ducasse, Matt Murdock/Daredevil, Misty Knight, Patricia Walker, Ward Meachum
Marvel (Non-MCU/XMCU/Games)
Amazing Spider-Man
Curt Conners/Lizard, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn/Green Goblin, May Parker, Max Dillon/Electro, Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Into the Spider-Verse
Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman, Miguel O’Hara/2099, Miles Morales/Spider-Man, Olivia Octavius/Doctor Octopus, Peter B. Parker/Spider-Man
Spider-Man (2002)
Flint Marko/Sandman, Norman Osborn/Green Goblin, Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus, Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Venom
Eddie Brock/Venom
Miscellaneous
10 Things I Hate About You
Chaos Walking - (SPECIFY MALE/FEM!READER)
The Devil All the Time
Free Guy
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
Jurassic World
The Office
Supernatural
Top Gun
Victorious
Wednesday
*i currently haven’t specified which characters i do/do not write for in the section above right now, but i won’t mind if you ask!
Musicals + Movies Counterparts
Heathers
Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, Heather McNamara, Jason Dean, Veronica Sawyer
Newsies
Crutchie, Davey Jacobs, Jack Kelly, Katherine Plumber, Romeo
New Girl
Aly Nelson, Cece Parekh, Ernie Tagliaboo/Coach, Jessica Day, Nick Miller, Reagan Lucas, Winston Bishop, Winston Schmidt/Schmidt
Peaky Blinders
Ada Shelby, Arthur Shelby, Esme Lee, John Shelby, Lizzie Stark, Michael Gray, Polly Gray, Thomas Shelby
Riverdale
Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper, Cheryl Blossom, Fangs Fogarty, Jason Blossom, Josie McCoy, Jughead Jones, Reggie Mantle, Sweet Pea, Toni Topaz, Veronica Lodge
Shameless (US)
Carl Gallagher, Debbie Gallagher, Fiona Gallagher, Kevin Ball, Ian Gallagher, Lip Gallagher, Svetlana Yevgenivna, Veronica Fisher
Star Wars
Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Boba Fett, Cal Kestis, Cara Dune, Cassian Andor, Din Djarin/Mando, Ezra Bridger, Fennec Shand, Finn, Han Solo, Haja Estree, Hera Syndulla, Jyn Erso, Kanan Jarrus/Caleb Dume, Lando Calrissian, Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker, Nightsister Merrin, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala, Poe Dameron, Qi’ra, Rey, Rose Tico, Sabine Wren, Trilla Suduri
*I will not write Master x Padawan romantically
*I do not write for Kylo Ren romantically
Stranger Things
Dustin Henderson, Eddie Munson, Eleven Hopper, Jim Hopper, Jonathan Byers, Joyce Byers, Lucas Sinclair, Max Mayfield, Michael Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington, Will Byers
*Stranger Kids will not be written romantically, crushes are acceptable
*I do not write for Billy Hargrove romantically
That 70’s Show
Donna Pinciotti, Jackie Burkhart, Michael Kelso, Steven Hyde
The 100
Bellamy Blake, Charmaine Diyoza, Clarke Griffin, Echo kom Azgedakru, Emori kom Spacekru, Finn Collins, Hope Diyoza, Jasper Jordan, John Murphy, Jordan Green, Lexa kom Trikru, Monty Green, Nathan Miller, Octavia Blake, Raven Reyes
The Umbrella Academy
Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Five Hargreeves**, Viktor Hargreeves (Number 7)***, Lila Pitts
*I will not write number 8!reader x Hargreeves romantically
**I will not write for Five romantically
***Because Viktor (Number 7) is canonically trans now, writing for him is more tricky. Fics written pre-S3 remain unedited. Future fics will follow the timeline and may still address Viktor pre-transition depending on when the fic takes place.
Video Games
Batman: Arkham Series
Gotham Knights
Injustice
Marvel’s Avengers
Marvel’s Spider-Man
Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
*I write for most characters in these games, I don’t mind if you ask!
X-Men
Prequels
Alex Summers/Havok, Charles Xavier/Professor X, Elizabeth Braddock/Psylocke, Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, Hank McCoy/Beast, Jean Grey/Phoenix, Jubilation Lee/Jubilee, Ororo Munroe/Storm, Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver, Raven Darkholme/Mystique, Scott Summers/Cyclops, Sean Cassidy/Banshee, Warren Worthington III/Angel
Originals
Modern Day
Danielle Moonstar/Mirage, Ellie Phimister/Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Illyana Rasputin/Magik, Laura Kinney/X-23, Logan Howlett/Wolverine, Neena Thurman/Domino, Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane, Roberto da Costa/Sunspot, Sam Guthrie/Cannonball, Wade Wilson/Deadpool
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champagneprblms · 2 years
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ziggy berman - intro
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Look who just woke up- is that ABIGAIL COWEN? No, I must have been mistaken, that’s CHRISTINE “ZIGGY” BERMAN from FEAR STREET. I heard she is 22 YEARS OLD and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, they still give off a/an CAUSING TROUBLE AT CAMP, HAVING LITTLE MISS PERFECT AS HER SISTER, STARTING A JUDY BLOOM BOOK CLUB impression. They’re known to be quite COURAGEOUS, but have a tendency to be TEMPERMENTAL on their bad days. 
Gender/Pronouns – cisgender female. she/her
How long have they been in Sydney? – in real life, she’s been in sydney for five years. in her memories, she’s been there for around the same amount of time.
Job – she’s a student.
Which suburb do they live in? – she lives in the rocks
Memories of their real life  –  ziggy remembers her and her sister dying, so when she got her memories back, she was confused as to why she was still alive.
What was their fake life like? – ziggy’s fake life was similar to her real life, except she was able to overcome everything that the town she grew up in threw at her. the only true difference was that she didn’t go to that camp and die.
Optional, please pick at least three and interpret them however you wish ::
Theme Song : running up that hill by kate bush
Hobbies : playing pranks, running, doodling
Personality Type : she is an ISTP, the virtuoso: logical, analytical, reserved, spontaneous, independent
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thebridgehqs · 2 years
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Welcome to 1925 – Christine Berman !! I hope you feel right at home here in Sydney. Before you get too comfortable and see what all our city has to offer, be sure to review our CHECKLIST. We’re so glad to have you with us, Summer !!  
Look who just woke up- is that ABIGAIL COWEN? No, I must have been mistaken, that’s CHRISTINE “ZIGGY” BERMAN from FEAR STREET. I heard she is 22 YEARS OLD and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, they still give off a/an CAUSING TROUBLE AT CAMP, HAVING LITTLE MISS PERFECT AS HER SISTER, STARTING A JUDY BLOOM BOOK CLUB impression. They’re known to be quite COURAGEOUS, but have a tendency to be TEMPERMENTAL on their bad days. (summer!)
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lesbianlotties · 3 years
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Journeys end in lovers meeting - Sam/Deena - Bly Manor AU
Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Sarah Fier/Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson Characters: Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Deena Johnson, Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Constance (Fear Street Part 3: 1666), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street), Alice (Fear Street Part 2: 1978), Sarah Fier (Fear Street), Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Solomon Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The Haunting of Bly Manor AU, Not Canon Compliant, Haunted Houses, Ghosts, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Canon Lesbian Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Au Pair Sam, Gardener Deena, Housekeeper Kate, Cook Simon, Josh and Constance as troubled kids, Ziggy and Nick in an unhealthy relationship, minor Cindy/Alice, Martin cameos, special appearances of all the Shadyside killers as ghosts, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, The Rest Is Confetti Summary: The year is 1994. Samantha Fraser recently moved to Shadyside, and she desperately needs a job that will help her leave her troubled past behind. She starts working as au pair at Shadyside Manor, where she is not the only one tortured by ghosts. Grief, regrets, guilt, innocent victims, and an ancient curse. At the center of all of it... love.
Chapter 5: 
When Peter Brody died, all of Sunnyvale mourned. As a teenager, he had been the star of the football team and in a town like that, it meant he was a celebrity. He was loved, known, seen by everyone. Sam, on the other hand, had always lived under his shadow, where she had been cold and lonely but also stuck beyond salvation, she thought. Nobody knew her, nobody saw her. They all saw a small blonde-haired woman that men made fun of and women judged and Peter never really loved, did he? Had any of it been love?  
During Peter’s funeral, luckily, all eyes were still on him, on the closed coffin that is. The truck that hit him hadn’t exactly been forgiving. Sam didn’t mind. She preferred to go unnoticed most of the time but especially on the day she was dealing with the most conflicting emotions of her life. Peter was dead. Did she kill him? He could have killed her. Was this her fault? Her biggest source of pain was gone forever. Should it be her in that coffin? She could be free now. Why wasn’t she feeling sadness, pain, and grief? Why wasn’t the relief hitting either? She was just numb.
She was numb until the moment they were lowering his coffin to the ground. Everyone around her was crying and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from that awful hole on the ground. That is why she noticed, clear as day, the moment a hand, gray and dirty and stained with blood, reached out from the ground and out toward her. She stifled a small gasp and jumped in place, but nobody paid her any mind. Sam closed her eyes tightly and tried to convince herself it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She’d lived in fear of Peter’s hand for so long, it was reasonable that she couldn’t put it down in a matter of days.
So, Sam excused herself from the crowd, knowing nobody would care about her absence. Her mother was crying more than she cried at her ex-husband’s funeral, and more than she’d be crying if it was Sam in the coffin. At least, that’s what Sam thought. She walked away briskly until she could lean against a big tree in the middle of the Sunnyvale cemetery. She took breaths and tried to control her racing heart. This full-body panic wasn’t rare. She was just used to locking herself in the bathroom of the house she used to share with the deceased man.
This time, however, she was in public. She had to get a hold of herself quickly. That was what she had spent a lifetime learning to do. So she pulled out a small mirror from her clutch, knowing she better check her make-up before returning to her mother’s side. She was expected to cry but keep perfect make-up somehow. But, as soon as she saw her reflection in the mirror, Sam realized she had bigger problems. This time she really screamed. She screamed in terror and dropped the mirror and quickly turned around, but he was gone. The image of Peter, just an impossibly black shadow, lifeless and furious and with a bloodstained hand wrapped around Sam’s throat… he was gone. Quickly, Sam picked up the mirror again and didn’t see him. But she skipped the rest of the funeral, she ran all the way home, and in the living room’s mirror, he was right there, waiting for her. In the Sunnyvale school bathroom mirror, he was there. In the cars’ windows, in the stores’ fronts, everywhere she went, he was right there, haunting her all the way to Shadyside Manor.
Away from the house though, surrounded by nothing but damp grass and green trees and nothing showing her reflection back to her, Sam let her guard down. She was sitting around an impressive bonfire in the company of Deena, Kate, and Simon, along with a few bottles of wine they got from the Berman’s old reserve. “It’s not like they’ll be drinking it,” Simon had said.
The last addition to their small gathering was Tommy Slater. Uninvited. Unnoticed. At least, surrounded by those trees he looked a little more at home, with his red plaid shirt and the axe on his hand. He shifted from one foot to the other, as if considering taking a stroll around the gardens he used to love so much. But that wasn’t the case. He’d been there too long. He didn’t move purposefully anymore, he didn’t make any choices, he didn’t even have many thoughts anymore. He simply stood there in the background, in the shadows, in that property he couldn’t escape from.
Around the bonfire, with lively eyes, blushing cheeks and playful smiles, the employees of the Manor looked much more alive. Kate exchanged a knowing look with Simon and then turned her head toward the other two women sitting close by.
“Deena. Don’t you have some story you'd like to share with us?” Kate asked.
She had startled the gardener, who had been a little lost in thought looking at Sam. “Huh? What?” Deena shook her head, but a second later and aided by an exasperated look from Kate, she understood. “Oh, right. Um, actually, yeah,” Deena cleared her throat and then looked at Sam, regaining her usual confidence. “Hey, Sunnyvale, do you want to hear a ghost story?”
“Sure,” Sam shrugged. She was really cold, and still a little put off by the unpleasant memories that had been roaming her mind the entire day. But she smiled nonetheless. “But I think I told you I’m not scared of ghost stories,” she said. How could she be? Although he was a sincerely upsetting company to carry with her everywhere she went, Peter hadn’t hurt her after he died nearly as much as he had while being alive.
“Ah, but what if you found yourself inside of one of those stories?” Deena asked.
“Okay, humor me.”
“Look up,” Deena nodded her head and the four of them looked up at the big tree next to them with branches that reached above their heads. “This is the hanging tree,” Deena said. “Back in the day, before there was Shadyside and Sunnyvale, and junk food and pretty au pairs, there was the settlement of Union. A pretty crappy place run by religious hysteria. They had the bad habit of accusing women of witchcraft. This is the place where they used to hang their witches. Right here, on this same tree.”
A cold breeze passed by, making the sudden silence even more noticeable. Sam shivered and her teeth clattered. “That’s not supernatural though,” she said. “That’s just cruelty, and ignorance.”
“And that’s without mentioning the ones they burned alive,” Simon added, taking a big swing of his wine bottle.
“Simon!” Kate chastised him, slapping his arm.
“What?! It’s true!” he laughed.
At least it proved they could come and go seamlessly from serious and lighthearted moods.
“Hey, they had their reasons,” Deena said, taking the others by surprise. “They used to say that burning a witch was the only way to guarantee she wouldn’t come back to haunt you afterward.”
A bitter chuckle came from Kate. “I know I got a few names I’d like to burn down,” she said.
“Care to share?” Deen tilted her head, intrigued.
Kate’s face had grown serious very suddenly, and she stood up from her seat.
“For Christine Berman,” She said, and everyone listened intently. “Not that I want to burn her memory, not that I don't wish she’d come back… This is in her honor. A brilliant, courageous, simply incomparable woman… with just one stupid fucking weakness. She deserved better than that man. I won’t even say his name. That disgusting man that consumed her away… Now that’s someone I wish I could burn alive.”
“Cheers!” Simon raised his bottle, and everyone followed suit.
Deena stood up next. “For the Bermans. Those good, stupidly kind people,” she said. “For Cindy, especially. And everything she could have been… For as long as she could she was a really, really great mother. More than that, too. She was the heart of this entire place, and she was there for everyone, not just her family or, well, she made all of us family, really. And… Anyway, I think she would be happy to have Sam Fraser join us. This sweet, Sunnyvale weirdo. Cindy would be happy she’s looking after her daughter.”
After she finished, Deena let herself fall back heavily on her chair. While everyone drank for the dearly missed couple, she managed to regain her composure. When she looked at Sam again, her usual easy smile was back in place.
“What about you, Sunnyvale? Anything you want to burn?”
“Me?” Sam said. Through her mind flashed the small group of people that had affected her most throughout her life. What could she talk about? The dead father she barely remembers and still misses? The living mother angry at her that she’s still avoiding? Or the dead ex-fiance she feels responsible for and she’s still scared of? “No, thank you. I’m okay,” Sam shook her head.
Maybe they didn’t need more of an excuse to drink. Maybe her silence was more than enough. Still, when Deena, Kate, and Simon, despite her silence, raised their wine bottles to their lips to drink. Sam felt the comfort of genuine solidarity and understanding like she had never experienced before.
Before the silence could stretch for too long, Simon stood up. “Are you sure?” Kate whispered, reaching out to hold his hand. He squeezed her hand once, then let go and took a step forward.
“So… my mom. She’s, uh, not someone I’d wish to burn alive, obviously,” Simon said, and added a feeble chuckle, but he went on. “But fuck, she deserved to rest already. She lived a long life, and not an easy one. But she was stronger than this entire town, and sweeter than any drug, funnier than me, if you can believe it, and beautiful as an angel until the very last day.” He stopped briefly, and his smile wavered. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging a little harder than necessary, and after a deep breath, he managed to continue. “Her mind, well, it was stopped working as it should a while ago, you know? I was her son, her brother, her father, and sometimes I was a complete stranger… but she was still my mom, always. So… here’s to everything she was, and everyone I had to be for her.”
--
After Peter died, Sam considered moving back in with her mother. It sounded like a nightmare, but a reasonable choice to make, she thought. However, her mother never did or said anything to suggest Sam would be even remotely welcome in her home. So, Sam stayed in that picture-perfect Sunnyvale house. A faultless home except for the fact that Peter was dead and Sam would soon follow suit if he didn’t stop showing up behind her reflection in every mirror she glanced at.
Sam felt hopeless, not free as she had wished to be for so long. She felt terrified, not much more than when Peter was alive, but certainly not any less. She had been starting to worry about what the rest of her life was going to look like. She had been hoping for a miracle, an act of kindness from anybody. And that was when Peter’s mother had knocked on her door. For a moment, Sam had let herself dream of a scenario where that woman showed up with worry in her gentle eyes, a dinner invitation, and a much-needed hug. But that wasn’t Peter’s mother.
Mrs. Brody was, if anything, Sam’s biggest nightmare. A particularly cruel mixture of Peter and Sam’s own mother. Her eyes were cold, she probably would have tried to poison Sam, and they had never hugged for longer than a second. That woman had spent roughly twenty years accusing Sam of taking her son away from her. When Peter’s mother showed up at Sam’s door, it wasn’t to offer any kindness, it was to request Sam start packing her stuff and looking for a place to live, because Peter was dead, they never got married, and that house was no longer hers.
A week later, Sam was living in a Shadyside hostel.
A few months later, Sam was in the middle of the dark and beautiful gardens of Shadyside Manor, walking away from a bonfire and two of her coworkers, her friends .
Most importantly, Sam was walking away with Deena by her side. “Are they going to be okay?” Sam asked the gardener.
“Oh yeah,” Deena nodded confidently. “Getting wasted and reminiscing about the past is part of their daily routine actually.”
Sam smiled, but then Deena met her eyes and matched her smile and Sam had to remind herself to breathe. So she turned away briskly and continued to walk. Deena was kind enough not to laugh at her.
A couple of minutes later the two women had arrived at the greenhouse. It was clearly the place Deena felt most at home in. There were plants on every surface, plants of all kinds and in many different states of health. There wasn’t a lack of personal touches though. There was more than one stray jacket left behind, occasional snack wrappers, books, cups, and more. It looked like Deena spent more time there than at the house in her own room. Then there was the bench where she invited Sam to sit. The closest thing to a couch that could stand the conditions of the greenhouse. It had comfortable cushions on top, a blanket, and Sam caught sight of a sweater that Deena quickly tried to tuck away. The image of Deena taking naps in there to avoid life at the manor was enough to make Sam smile.
“This is nice,” Sam said. “It feels like you have a little bit of everything here.”
Deena shrugged. “I’d add … a drum kit, if I could,” she confessed.
“Really?” Sam wondered, getting a little more comfortable in her seat. “You play drums?”
“For a while, when I was a teen,” Deena replied. She was thoughtful for a moment but, looking at Sam’s face, she seemed to make an important decision. “One of the foster homes where I lived in had a drumkit. It was a good outlet for when life was shit but… I haven’t played since then. I was never able to afford one myself and, anyway, it doesn’t bring up the best memories.”
“Oh,” Sam mumbled, staring at her lap. Suddenly she missed the bottle of wine she had been carrying with her. She couldn’t even remember where she left it. She only wanted to find something good to say, but Deena beat her to it.
“Now’s your turn.”
“What?” Sam finally looked at her.
“Tell me something real, if you want,” Deena smiled at her. “I’d recommend starting with what’s bothering you so much that you finished a wine bottle but you’re still pale as if you’d just come back from the dead.”
Sam laughed, closed her eyes, and leaned against the back of the seat. Of course she had finished that bottle. Of course those memories did nothing but hurt her. Of course Deena would notice, and of course Deena could find a way to ask an impossible question and still make Sam want to speak up her impossible answer.
“The windows,” Sam finally replied and opened her eyes.
“What?” Deena frowned. She was as drunk as Sam, but that answer didn’t explain anything at all.
“All kinds of mirrors really,” Sam continued. “I, uh, sometimes I… I see things… that aren’t there. But they feel, um, they are real, to me. I think. I mean, I know they are. Even if it sounds crazy.”
“What kind of things do you see?” Deena asked her.
Sam blinked. She wasn’t expecting Deena to go along with it, and she wasn’t prepared or sober enough to come up with a lie. “My dead ex-boyfriend,” she said, and didn’t give Deena much time to process that information. “He wasn’t a good guy, he… He wasn’t good… at all. But we, I mean, I tried or, I guess I did, I… I broke up… with him. It was, um, right before he… died.”
“Jesus, Sam, the same day?” Deena wondered.
“Yeah,” the blonde nodded sadly. “But I guess he hasn’t let me go yet.”
Deena bit her lip and tried her hardest to find the right thing to say. There was a lot she wanted to ask, but there were more important things at the moment. “That sounds typical,” Deena said.
“What do you mean?” Sam asked, sounding genuinely tired, but more and more relieved with each passing second.
“I mean… only a Sunnyvale jerk wouldn’t get what a breakup is,” Deena said. She had been holding her breath, but when she saw Sam smile a little, she relaxed. “Like, get over it dude! She’s Shadyside property now,” Deena added, looking around the greenhouse with her best menacing tone.
Sam couldn’t contain her chuckle, but she was back to looking down at her lap. “You’re not making fun of me, are you?” She inquired.
“Sam,” Deena called her name, and waited until Sam was staring into her eyes to continue. “I’ve lived with that hanging tree over my head for years. Ghosts are… complicated, I guess, but nothing to joke about, are they?” She was worried she wasn’t making much sense, but she was genuinely trying her best. Sam shook her head softly, agreeing with her, but her eyes weren’t all that focused on ghosts, and loss, and the past anymore. “I think it’s a matter of understanding-”
All at once, Sam was kissing Deena. She had just leaned in, connected their lips, interrupted Deena with a kiss they had been dying for. At first, Deena’s shock didn’t allow her to do much, but when she caught up, when she made sense of the sweet taste of Sam, the warm press of her lips, the reality of a dream coming true right before her, she reacted. Her hands moved carefully to Sam’s face, as if afraid to break her, but she slowly pushed back. She saw the moment Sam’s blue eyes fluttered open again, and that sight alone was more than enough to steal Deena’s heart.
“Are you sure?” Deena asked her.
Sam couldn’t fight the need to glance around them, just to make sure there weren’t unwanted shadows staring at her from a corner, but there was nothing. They were alone. This moment was completely hers. “Yes,” she replied with a smile, and whatever Deena had tried to say aftward, Sam interrupted her with a kiss, but Deena didn’t seem to mind at all.
They kissed with perfect excitement, their lips were eager, and they tasted of wine, and the first touch of Deena’s tongue on her bottom lip stole a whimper from Sam. They moved closer together, and their restless hands gained confidence. Everything was happening at once, they were in a hurry, they were taking their time, they had only a second, they had all the time in the world. Sam's hand was on Deena’s shoulder, grabbing a fistful of her green jacket, pulling her closer. Deena’s hand was getting lost in Sam’s blonde ponytail, holding her in place, driving her crazy. Every second their kisses renewed and grew in passion, with Deena’s tongue pulling shivers out of Sam, and Sam’s teeth biting down on Deena’s bottom lip, overjoyed to take the other woman by surprise.
It was an accident, though. Sam didn’t really mean to open her eyes when she did. But by the time she realized what had happened, it was too late and the damage was done. She opened her eyes and right there behind Deena, with his monstrous head almost on her shoulder, was Peter. Peter the shadow, the ghost, the darkness, the demon, the ruin of Sam’s entire life.
She gasped and jumped back and away from Deena as if she’d received some kind of lethal shock.
“Fuck,” the two of them said. They were breathless, confused, and hurt. There was a sudden and unbreachable distance between. They were completely alone in the greenhouse.
--
Less than an hour later, and wearing her pajamas, Sam was storming out of her bedroom, down the stairs, and out of the manor. Her thoughts were messier than ever, and only half of it was because of the wine. There was a lot going on in her mind, a lot she couldn’t erase, understand, or even acknowledge. There was a lifetime of expectations and lies that she had endured for too long. There was a kiss from a captivating gardener that wasn’t supposed to be so sweet. There was Deena standing up, apologizing, apologizing as if anything would have possibly been her fault, and walking away from Sam without once looking back. There was a pair of teenagers that jumped out of their beds at that ungodly hour just to make her waste five minutes in the hallway, listening to them explain some genuinely unsettling dreams until they agreed to let her go. Underneath it all, there was one thought standing out from the rest though. Unfair. That’s what Sam thought of it all. It wasn’t fair that she had to deal with that much, since she was a little girl. It wasn’t fair that even after dying Peter still controlled her. It wasn’t fair that she’d found the most incredible person and potentially ruined it all because of her fear.
But, at last, Sam had made it back to the hanging tree, back to the dying embers of the bonfire, which she hoped were strong enough to burn one last memory. She wasn’t alone, of course. Behind her, Ryan Torrest had observed her walk past him. He could barely change his expression anymore, but he looked as concerned as he was capable of. He raised his right hand in front of him to study the knife he still carried. He almost wished he could pass it to the clearly distressed woman, but there was no use. He couldn’t do anything, his knife wasn’t really capable of causing harm to ghosts, no matter how many times he had tested it before on himself. Besides, that woman had to face her ghosts by herself, and this one was a different kind of ghost than the manor's habitants.
A few feet in front of Sam, Peter’s ghost stood. He was just his shadow, just pure darkness resembling his shape, with just enough details for Sam to be able to see the hatred in his eyes. “ I can’t marry you, Peter, ” she had said. “ I don’t love you, I can’t, not you, not any man ,” she had added in an impulsive attempt to appease his already explosive anger. “ I’m sorry! I didn’t ask for this, Peter! Don’t hurt me, please, ” was the last she said to him. Before he raised his arm, before he took a step backward, before the truck hit him.
“What the hell, Peter?” Sam said, facing the silent ghost under the hanging tree.
There was no answer.
“What the fuck do you want from me, huh?” Sam insisted.
The ghost didn’t speak, didn’t move, didn’t react.
“You don’t scare me anymore, Peter,” Sam said, not yelling anymore.
The dark, human-shaped mass only stood there, ominous but immobile.
“You can’t take anything else from me, you know?” Sam sighed.
The woman was just so tired, and the ghost couldn’t do anything, could he?
“If you think you can still hurt me then go for it. Do it, Peter, I don’t care anymore. Kill me, if that’s what you want, but get it over with. Because I’m done! Did you hear me? I’m done… I’m done… I’m not scared anymore. I’m not scared of you anymore.”
The embers left from the bonfire suddenly sparked back to life, burning away what had been left behind.
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lesbianlotties · 3 years
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Journeys end in lovers meeting - Sam/Deena - Bly Manor AU
Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Sarah Fier/Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson Characters: Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Deena Johnson, Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Constance (Fear Street Part 3: 1666), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street), Alice (Fear Street Part 2: 1978), Sarah Fier (Fear Street), Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Solomon Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The Haunting of Bly Manor AU, Not Canon Compliant, Haunted Houses, Ghosts, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Canon Lesbian Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Au Pair Sam, Gardener Deena, Housekeeper Kate, Cook Simon, Josh and Constance as troubled kids, Ziggy and Nick in an unhealthy relationship, minor Cindy/Alice, Martin cameos, special appearances of all the Shadyside killers as ghosts, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, The Rest Is Confetti Summary: The year is 1994. Samantha Fraser recently moved to Shadyside, and she desperately needs a job that will help her leave her troubled past behind. She starts working as au pair at Shadyside Manor, where she is not the only one tortured by ghosts. Grief, regrets, guilt, innocent victims, and an ancient curse. At the center of all of it... love.
Chapter 4:
Sam really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but it was a hectic day for everyone but here. It was an accident, really. She just wanted a glass of water, but when she heard Deena and Kate arguing in the kitchen, she stopped before reaching the doorway, and couldn’t help but listen.
“Are you seriously not going?” Deena was saying.
“No, Deena,” Kate replied, in a tone that made it obvious it wasn’t the first time she said so. “I’ll only go to a funeral when I’m dead, thank you very much.”
“Maybe I should kill you then,” Deena grumbled. In the hallway, Sam fought back a smile at the grumpiness of the gardener. “He’s your platonic husband and you’re letting him down in the most fucking tragic day of his life, Kate.”
“He understands,” Kate snapped back at her. “Besides, we’ve let each other down before.”
--
Eavesdropping on teenagers feels even worse. But Sam can’t help herself, again. She just seems to be at the right place at the right time, and nobody hears her coming. She was just looking for Constance and Josh when she found them talking in the classroom in whispers. She worried they might have been planning something unwise, so she listened in for a moment.
“Do you think they can follow us?” Constance asked in a whisper.
“No, I don’t think it works like that,” Josh replied.
The girl hummed thoughtfully and then added, in a considerably more distressed tone, “Do you think they’ll try to stop us?”
“Shh! Constance!” Josh stopped her. “Let’s just… see what happens, okay? We’re in this together, right? All of us.”
Sam considered intervening, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what they were talking about. She could barely keep track of their changing moods or Constance’s name. In the end, she walked away, deciding to keep an eye out and studying them more closely when she had the chance.
--
Sam had tried her best, but she really had nothing else to do at the moment. It was strange, having a day mostly free from her responsibilities as au pair. Deena would be taking Josh and Constance with her to Simon’s mom’s funeral. A little lost in her thoughts without anything else to do while they all got ready, Sam took a seat near the bottom of the stairs, looking out at the gardens she could see through the open door. It started out as a particularly sunny day, not at all something you’d expect for a funeral.
The au pair was leaning against the railing of the stairs. A little behind her, under the safety and familiarity of the manor’s shadows, Harry Rooker stood perfectly still. His clothes hadn’t changed at all in all the decades he had been wandering those halls, even his bowtie was in still place. The same couldn’t be said about his face though. The passing of the years, one after another, had slowly washed away his features. His eyes were no longer there, his mouth was barely noticeable and his nose wouldn’t likely last long. The burn on the side of his face, which had hurt him so much during the war and cost him so much even after his return, was still there, stubbornly, almost mocking him. As well as his knife, always in his hand, always sharp. Never being useful anymore.
The sound of a heavy pair of boots coming down the stairs, as often, disturbed the peace of the foyer. Sam tried not to look too excited as she turned her head to look at Deena descend the stairs, but when she saw the gardener’s outfit she probably failed to hide her pleased reaction.
“Hi,” Sam gasped a little and stood up, “You look…”
“Like I remembered how to take a shower?” Deena smirked. She reached the bottom of the stairs and showed off her clothes, consisting of all black pants, shirt, and blazer that fit her perfectly, made her look a little too good for a funeral, if Sam had to give her honest opinion.
“Like a waiter,” Sam said, biting her lip to keep that honest opinion from spilling out.
“Hey! Didn’t know that side of you, Sunnyvale. Rude,” Deena replied, smiling the entire time. When her expression softened a little, she asked, “Are you sure you’re okay staying here by yourself?”
“Yes, t’s okay. Besides, Kate’s here too.”
Deena made an unamused sound. “Sometimes it feels like she isn’t,” she murmured.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed quietly. Before the silence could stretch for too long, she spoke up again. “Anyway, I, um, had to… be present in a funeral, not too long ago. It’s… I can’t, again. Not yet.”
As she spoke, Sam couldn’t look Deena in the eyes. Not when the only thing in her mind was Sunnyvale. Peter. Her mother. Peter. Twentyfive entitled children in a classroom. Peter. A heavy engagement ring and suffocating wedding dress. Peter.
But it didn’t start like that. It started with her father getting sick, her mother being cruel enough to divorce him on the spot to save herself from taking care of him, and Sam being already in Sunnyvale, thirty minutes away, when he finally died. It started with her mother wrapping her in her best dress, too old for her already, and dragging her to the neighbors house, because they were rich, and look at that handsome young boy, he already has his eyes on you! They were only eight. But then they were twelve, and Peter got in a fight for her and felt entitled to her attention ever since, and nobody ever told her she didn’t have to give him anything she didn’t want to. So when he demanded it, she gave him a kiss, a second date, the color of her prom dress so he could get a matching tie. She gave and she gave until she didn’t know what else he could take from her, but everyone made her feel like she still owed him. So she gave hiim a second chance when he first hit her, and she gave him her bags when he told her to move in with him, she gave him a third and fourth chance, and she gave him the answer he wanted when he offered her a wedding ring.
“Sam? Are you okay?”
In the blink of an eye, Sam was back in Shadyside Manor, with Deena’s gentle hands on her elbows, anchoring her to reality, and those warm brown eyes worriedly searching her face, not knowing what horrors they could find behind the walls Sam spent a lifetime building.
“Yes,” Sam blurted out. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m okay.”
“Right,” Deena nodded and slowly stepped away from the au pair. “Well, I’m leaving now. Try to come up with something real to tell me when I return, okay?”
Sam suddenly couldn’t come up with any words so she nodded, smiled, and watched holding her breath as Deena walked away from her, not without glancing over her shoulder by the door.
--
Sam stood awkwardly in the middle of the chapel. She had made it too far to turn around now, but she didn’t dare move closer and interrupt Kate who appeared to be praying. Except, before Sam made up her mind about her next move, Kate spoke up without turning around.
“Are you just going to stand there like a ghost?”
“Sorry,” Sam blushed. “Uh, how did you know I was-”
“I have eyes on the back of my head, darling,” Kate replied with a smile and finally turned around.
“Am I interrupting you?”
“No, it’s okay,” Kate softened. “I’m not a funeral type of person. I deal with loss in my own way.” 
“I get it,” Sam nodded. She found the courage to continue walking closer to the other woman.
“If you ask me,” Kate continued, somewhat unprompted, “This is more for our own comfort.” She nodded her head to the side, indicating the five red little candles burning. “You have to be there for people while they’re still alive. Simon gave his entire life for his mother. I’ve been there with him for most of the journey, in ways that I know count so much more than missing out on one tragic goodbye party.”
Again, Sam nodded. She took a seat down on one of the pews close to Kate. She really didn’t want to think about the funerals in her own life. Her mother made sure they arrived late and left early for Sam's father’s funeral. And then a few months ago…
“You two are very close,” she blurted out. It was a statement, a question, and mostly just a way to get Kate to keep talking.
“Best friends since childhood,” Kate said and she wore one of the most genuine smiles Sam had seen on her. “We kissed once, and afterward I punched him in the face. We’ve been inseparable ever since. Which might be the best and worst part about our friendship.”
“What do you mean?”
This time Kate took her time before replying. Her smile was gone.
“Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to leave Shadyside and see the world. But there was nothing that could have convinced Simon to leave his mom. He missed a chance to work at a restaurant in Paris, I missed my chance to see the world, but we have each other. We have each other and ninety-nine percent of the time it feels like the right choice.”
The remaining one percent of the time hung in the air of the chapel so heavily it was almost palpable.
“What about now?” Sam asked, not without a good amount of hesitation.
The meaning of her question was obvious. Simon wasn’t tethered to Shadyside anymore. However, there was no answer from the housekeeper. Kate chuckled sadly, completely dismissing the idea of grabbing a bag of her best clothes and her best friend’s hand and moving away to Paris any day now. Instead, she stood up and threw the little box of matches for Sam to catch.
“What?” Why?” The au pair looked back and forth between the matches and Kate.
“Light a candle,” Kate replied. She noticed the confusion in Sam’s face, but the au pair, unknowingly, carried her heart, broken and hopeful at once, on her sleeve. “Dead people, regrets, protection, good luck,” Kate said while methodically fixing the wrinkles on her red skirt, checking her ponytail, and mindlessly passing her hand over the back of her neck. “Everything counts.”
Sam stayed silent. She watched Kate walk out of the chapel and then she moved toward the candles. She moved almost automatically, lighting up the first match, but then she couldn’t bring herself to actually light the candle. The small flame burned bright for a second, highlighting the sadness in Sam’s blue eyes, but she let it die before reaching for a candle. }
Eventually, Sam decided to light up a new match and light up a single candle at random. Not for dead people, and not for her attempts at forgetting about them, but for the time she had wasted trying to please people that did nothing but hurt her for so long.
On the way out of the chapel, Sam made the mistake of glancing at the windows. Of course he was still there. He would never leave her, would he? She had seen him angry at her more times than she could count, but never like that. That expression of outstanding disgust and fury was forever etched in Sam’s memory of him. He was just a shadow, he was pure darkness in the shape of a man she once knew. But Sam had to look away and walk as fast as she could away from him, fearing that any day now his image would definitely leave the restrained space of reflective surfaces and finally kill her, like she had killed him.
--
“Dinner… is served!” Simon announced with a flourish.
Simon and Deena dropped several bags on the kitchen table and they chuckled when everyone else eagerly jumped forward to look at the contents spilling on the table. 
“There’s nothing like an absurd amount of junk food to fix all your problems,” he smiled proudly at the scene in front of him. All the people closest to him with smiles on their faces, exchanging a warm meal and easy conversation. His smile turned just nostalgic enough, thinking about his mother, the woman who taught him that lesson. She used to fix all problems with food. She had special meals for every sickness, mended broken hearts with each person’s favorite food, and she celebrated every occasion with big feasts. So far, Simon couldn’t say she had ever failed.
Simon, Deena, Kate, Sam, Josh, and Constance, sat down at the table. They got started with their junk food feast. Everything was still hot, smelled amazing, and tasted even better. Behind Simon and the teenagers, stood Ruby Lane. She tilted her head one side and the other, observing the scene in front of her. Her slightly blurred expression showed confusion, then a hint of sadness, and finally settled in something surprisingly close to affection. Eating. Food. Good company. Friends. She distantly could remember the feeling of it all. The details had left her a while ago. But if she focused hard enough on the smiles of these strangers, she almost felt right at home, almost felt like she belonged with them, almost let herself believe that if she wanted to she could reach out, take a seat, enjoy a meal with them… Almost, almost but not quite.
At the table, conversation flowed easily. Everyone was enjoying the food, and the adults all had one or two beers with the meals, perhaps a little more. Despite the emotionally heavy day, the group was in a surprisingly good mood. A consequence of growing up in Shadyside, maybe. They were either the best or the worst at coping with loss. The trick was not knowing how to tell the difference between both extremes. 
Sam was a little concerned about the fact that the pair of teenagers looked so refreshed and so much like themselves after attending a funeral. Maybe they just needed the time away from the manor. She just hoped it would last.
While all of them discussed favorite meals and comfort food, Simon finally explained his choice of food for the day. “This is actually from the first place where I worked,” he confessed.
“Really?” Sam asked, leaning forward with a kind smile.
“Yeah. My mom got me the job,” he added. “She was the sweetest woman, but she could be scary as shit if she wanted to. She convinced them to give a part-time job to little old me. I was barely fifteen.”
“Tell her why you got fired,” Kate said, raising a playful eyebrow in his direction.
Simon rolled his eyes and picked up a couple of fries to throw in her direction. “For giving you free food you asshole!”
While all the others laughed, Kate gasped loudly and wore a nearly comically offended expression for a moment. It was her turn to roll her eyes and lean across Deena to look at Sam and explain, “This bitch throwing me food like a toddler? He got fired for being too talented for a food truck, basically.”
“Ah, whatever,” Simon laughed. He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair and pushed through his unexpected shyness to explain. “The food was good, but it was also too slow and expensive. Got me fired but got me noticed.” He stopped then, and tried to make it seem natural and not at all like he was holding back information. Which made Sam think about the missed opportunity across the ocean that Kate had mentioned earlier that day. “But!” Simon went on, with extra cheerfulness on his voice to hide who knows how many things anymore, “now I get to happily cook for all of you, ungrateful little shits that you are.”
“Hey!” Deena protested, stopped a second to swallow her food and continued. “I am grateful. Dude, I love your food. I survived eating this cheap shit almost exclusively for like a decade. I’m in heaven when you cook actual food.”
“Do you just love me for my food?” Simon pouted dramatically. 
Sam watched them banter with a smile. Before she could stop herself, she was joining the conversation. “This actually reminds me of my childhood in Shadyside,” she said, holding up a burger in her hand.
“What?” Kate smirked, “You don’t have these bad boys in Sunnyvale?”
Sam laughed along with everyone else, she was starting to feel just the slightest bit tipsy, and this time decided not to mention the fact that Kate hadn’t even taken a bite of her burger yet. However, she hadn’t managed to shake herself from the weird, nostalgic mood that had had a hold of her the entire day. One moment she was there, seated at the kitchen table in Shadyside Manor, and with the blink of an eye, she was back at an expensive Sunnyvale restaurant.
She had been more than a little tipsy back then, she had needed the courage in any way she could find it. During the meal, a hundred different memories of her mother’s cruel comments on her weight and eating habits passed through her mind. She didn’t push them away though, she focused on them, because it hadn’t been just her mother, and she needed to focus on that pain and resentment. Because seated across from her was Peter. Peter, who had joined her mother in criticizing her. Peter, who never once defended her from his own mother. Peter, who had hurt her emotionally and physically more than anybody else.
Peter, who refused to lose an argument, who didn’t know when to let it go, and would never let her go. They didn’t get to the altar, but since their first kiss, he had assumed only death would take her away from him. He didn’t consider he’d go first, he might have even dreamed of a second or third wife, and one or two times he had been close to being responsible for that sudden end. Instead, it was their anniversary, they were both drunk, Sam admitted more than she had meant to, he was yelling at her in the middle of the street, threatening to kill her, taking a step backward when she reached for him, and then there were the truck’s headlights…
“Oh, yeah,” Sam blurted out, and hoped they wouldn’t notice the way her voice was trembling. “But in Sunnyvale, we add a little caviar on top of the burgers.”
Sam was surprised to see everyone laugh at what she had considered a pretty lame joke. It was a beautiful sound. She didn’t think she’d ever been surrounded by the incredible number of five people that genuinely liked her for who she really was. Josh even choked a little on the food he had been chewing, and Simon slapped his back, maybe a little harder than necessary. It made Kate and Constance laugh even harder. Those were things that Sam noticed, but her focus was actually on the woman beside her. Deena had laughed with all of them, of course. But the soft smile she was directing at Sam was something completely different, something she couldn’t even compare to anything else she had ever experienced. 
When the conversation hit an inevitable lull, Constance was the first one to notice the way Simon’s mood dimmed, his shoulders slumped and he stopped eating, just fumbling with the papers on the table. There was a lot a person could say to a friend that just lost their mother, then there was what a moody teenager with an exceptionally tragic life could offer.
“My aunt was a shit cook,” Constance blurted out. “These burgers were all she got for me when my parents died. But I couldn’t eat it… I thought I would never eat again, which would be okay because that would kill me and I’d be reunited with…” She shrugged, and everyone else at the table listened to her intently, rendered speechless not just by the unexpected confession, but because of her expression, neutral without being insensitive, sincere without being very emotional. “But then,” Constance continued, adding the smallest smiles here and there. “It was like I could hear my mom yelling at me for not eating. Cindy Berman could be a pain in the ass in case you didn’t know. But that feeling… it was like she was right there with me, beautiful and annoying and never gone entirely.”
For a moment, nobody knew what to say. Simon, although his eyes were glassy, smiled brightly at her. “You do not act as if you’re listening to your mom,” he said.
“Hey! I ignored her when she was alive too, she gets it,” Constance rolled her eyes playfully. “But the point is I know that we have to keep eating, and keep living… for them. Don’t we?”
“Yeah, we do,” Simon agreed.
He took a deep breath to get a hold of his emotions and raised his beer bottle to the center of the table, where Kate, Deena, and Sam joined him in a toast for the living. Constance joined in enthusiastically with a can of soda, but Josh didn’t move a muscle.
“Hey, do we have some more beer?” Josh asked a moment later. “I could really use one.”
“Uh, no. Not at fifteen you can’t,” Deena replied immediately. She tensed on her seat.
The teenage boy rolled his eyes and focused on the au pair across the table from him. “Miss Fraser, do you think I could have a beer?” He asked with a sharp, charming smile that looked just a little off on the edges.
“I… agree with your sister, Josh,” Sam replied carefully. She didn’t want to cross any boundaries, but she was also responsible for the teenagers.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve gone without a real drink?!”
“I remember my first beer,” Kate interrupted him, reminiscing with an easy smile on her face. “It was my first time babysitting Constance, and then Christine thought it would be a good idea to give me a beer.”
“My mom hated beer,” Sam said. “She used to say one sip could mean I’ll end up in hell.” Then she took a hearty sip, thinking of her mother and the thousand suffocating rules she’d pressed upon Sam’s shoulders her entire life.
“Well,” Deena smirked, “You did end up in Shadyside so…”
While most of them laughed, Josh’s face contorted into an expression of deep frustration and rage until he didn’t look like himself anymore. “Why the hell am I being controlled by a bunch of dykes?!” He slammed his hand on the table furiously. 
But just as soon as the words left his mouth, Sam and Deena jumped out of their chairs. Deena was his sister, and maybe Sam was just the au pair, but while Deena was so angry that she couldn’t even get any words out, Sam got ahead of her.
“That language, and that attitude, and beyond unacceptable, Josh. You are going to your room right now. No discussion. Did you hear me?” Sam said, her voice firm, unwavering, and her stance perfectly commanding.
All eyes were on her, but she was staring straight at Josh. He didn’t budge, he was stronger than most teenagers Sam had ever worked with, but she was even stronger. She didn’t hesitate at all. She glanced quickly at Constance, and the girl, despite intensely rolling her eyes, stood up and walked toward Josh. She not-so-gently grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the chair. Slowly, and with Josh throwing threatening looks at Sam over his shoulder, they walked out of the kitchen. After excusing herself, Sam followed them. She didn’t look back to see the impressed looks her friends were exchanging, pleasantly surprised by that side of her.
--
“Hey, Sunnyvale,” Deena said as soon as she caught sight of Sam walking down the stairs of the manor to the foyer where she was waiting for her.
Sam reached the end of the stairs and noticed that Deena was wearing a jacket, and holding Sam’s own jacket in her hands. But when the au pair reached out to grab it, Deena pulled back.
“Ah, ah. Not yet,” Deena said. She was smiling, but there was a hint of worry in her eyes. “You only get warmth in exchange for information.” Her words made the au pair chuckle, and Deena instantly felt herself relax a little. “How did it go with my asshole brother?” She finally asked.
“Um, it was fine, I think,” Sam replied. “He… Well, I think he’s embarrassed. He probably regrets it a lot. He’s acting almost as if he doesn’t even remember what he said.”
“That doesn’t make it better,” Deena frowned. She felt pretty embarrassed about the entire incident, and she was so not looking forward to having that conversation with Josh, who apparently had turned into some kind of monster in the place of her sweet younger brother. “I’m sorry about it.”
Sam shrugged and attempted a smile. “If it helps, I think he really listened when I explained that we all just want what’s best for him, and having that makes him luckier than most of us.”
The gardener nodded thoughtfully. “I agree with you there,” she said as she held open Sam’s jacket to help her put it on. Deena was careful, and her hands were confident, but at the same time, she barely touched Sam’s body as she helped her. The only thing she couldn’t help herself from doing was standing perhaps a little closer than necessary. Enough to feel her heart skip a beat when Sam’s blonde hair brushed her cheek, and the smell of some sweet-scented shampoo filled her senses. “But also, how depressing is that for us?” Deena said, stepping back from Sam. The au pair laughed and turned around to stare a Deena, who offered her a hand and said, “Come on, let’s go be depressing outside for a change.”
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abcsupercorp · 3 years
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Cindy Berman Characters: Cindy Berman (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: protective sister, Berman Sisters, I love the Berman Sisters, I have an emotional attachment to Cindy and Ziggy Berman, Protective Siblings, Protective Cindy Berman, Fuck Nick Goode, i hate nick goode Series: Part 4 of Berman Sisters Summary:
"Miss. Berman." The doctor says, "You have a visitor."
 "Who?" Ziggy asks.
 Nick walks into Ziggy's hospital room.
 "What the hell is he doing here?" Cindy says.
 OR
An AU where both sisters live and the aftermath of it all. But mainly Cindy being overly protective and hating Nick Goode because we ALL hate Nick Goode and were robbed of that.
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