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imaginedaydreamsquad-blog · 8 years ago

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Joe Sugg Imagine #2

You and Joe have been together for a while, he broke up with you for another girl. You’re broken. (happy end) Word Count: 2.6k Pairing: Joe x Reader ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I still felt the pain, it was like an echo in my hollow heart. It’s been six months. Six months in which I told myself every morning, that it’d be okay to give me strength to get through the day. Six months in which I smiled and reassured me and my friends that I was alright. Six months in which I was laying in bed at the end of a long day, crying because it still hurt so bad. It hurt looking at him. But after these six months I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. So I awoke at a Monday and told myself that no one would ever get this much power over me to hurt me like that ever again. And with that I cut the feelings away. I didn’t feel anything at all. Empty. No more tears, no more heartbreak, no more hope. Nothing. I was finally feeling strong again. No one could get to me. No one could hurt me. I could finally sleep again. I could see him in the eye without feeling tears well up… All was good.

„Y/N?“ I flinched at the sudden call of my name. It was him. Joe. I looked him in the eyes and lost myself in the blue. But instead of feeling my heartbeat speed up, or butterflies in my stomach or a painful stab in the heart I felt nothing. „What did you say?“ I asked him, because I didn’t pay attention. „I asked if you want to grab a coffee?“ He was nervous, I could see it in his eyes and in the way he stepped from one foot onto the other. He still felt bad. Even if we were something like friends again. But he didn’t have to be careful anymore. I was strong again. „Sure.“ I smiled and stood up to grab my wallet. It was still warm enough to not wear a jacket. The sun stood low on the sky, it must’ve been something between afternoon and evening. The elevator ride was quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. As we walked out in the streets a cold breeze hit us and made us shiver. But it somehow woke me up and my steps became lighter. I felt a smile creep on my face and I held my face in the sun. I loved this time of day. Joe also squinted against the sun and was completely by himself. I didn’t want to interupt him. The wind was playing with his hair and at that I realized he wasn’t wearing a cap, like he always did the past weeks. „Where did your-?“ But he wouldn’t let me finish. „She won’t come anymore“, he quickly answered. She? „It… It’s over.“ And with that I realized that he was talking about her. HER. IT WAS OVER. „That… I’m sorry… even if I meant your cap and not Hannah“, I explained. Hannah. That was the name of my own personal hell. The was simply perfect. Perfect body, perfect blonde hair, perfect style, perfekt mind. The perfect face. I just had to think about her dimples to get jealous. Hannah. The perfect match for Joe. They would never fight, they harmonized perfectly. It seemed like it was the perfect relationship. Couple goals. It was even more shocking for me to hear about them breaking up. „Oh, I wasn’t in the mood for it“, he explained, ran his fingers through his hair and smiled that half smile, that did crazy things to my heart before I lost all my emotions. „For what? The relationship? But why? Hannah was perfect!“, I admitted and his smile formed into a full on grin now. „I mean the cap, Y/N.“ „Oh“, I blushed and watched my feet. Suddenly Joe stopped his steps, which startled me. I came to a halt too, confused about what was going on. „I’m really sorry, you know. I always wanted to tell you that. I’m sorry that I was such a dick. And I’m sorry about how it ended between us. I mean. I don’t understand why we even stayed friends. Why would you still be around such an asshole like me.“ „Joe.“ He was hard on himself. „You know we couldn’t just stop being friends. We have the same friends. And I’m your roommate. Wouldn’t be too practical to not talk to your roommate, huh? Besides, I don’t think your an asshole. Not anymore, anyways. I mean. It hurt being ditched because of someone else but Hannah was perfect. And I’m not.“ I saw tears in his eyes and without thinking about it I pulled him in for a hug. I forgave him. He apologized. We were okay. Everyting’s gonna be alright. I let him go and as we arrived at the café big smiles were on our faces. It became a nice evening. We talked like before and it wasn’t awkward at all. I loved having him back. We made plans to go out on the weekend and lauhed about stories from our past. We stayed about 3 hours at the café, and as we went home we watched a movie together. It was the first night I felt content and comfortable in our shared apartment after our breakup. Because of the non-existent feelings I still felt empty, but I was glad that there were no hard feelings between me and Joe anymore. We went straight back to being as close as we were before the drama. With everyday we hung out it became more obvious that we tried to make up fort he time „apart“. Even our friends seemed to be relieved, that everything was back to normal, Conor even asked if we were dating again, which I laughed off big time. Joe sensed that something was different when we watched the notebook. „You didn’t cry one bit, did you?“ I just shrugged. „Nope. Didn’t get to me.“ „You still cried two hours after the movie ended the last time we watched it.“ „Well, people change, I guess.“ „I guess“, he answered giving me a confused look. „Joe, I just have a bit more control over my feelings nowadays.“ „But… I mean, you can’t just control the way something makes you feel.“ „Yeah you can, you just have to train yourself.“ „But why would you do that?“ „To not get hurt ever again“, I quietly answered and I saw the way his face fell. He knew I was talking about us. „Come here.“ He held his arms out for me. „Why?“ „You need a cuddle.“ „No.“ „A big cuddle.“ „No, Joe, I don’t.“ „Yeah you do. Come to me or I will get you.“ But I didn’t cave. So he threw himself at me to get me to cuddle him. After a playfight he won. Of course, he was stronger than me, physically. „See. That’s nice. You needed that, Y/N.“ „No, YOU needed that“, I fired back, but let him pull me closer and laid my head on his chest. „Hm… yeah. I needed that.“ And at that moment I felt something. A warm feeling increased in my heart, making me feel bubbly. No. I could not possibly be falling again for Joe. That was impossible. So I focused on my breathing and the feelig was gone. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was tearing my walls down and that couldn’t be happening.

„Y/N? Baby“ He knew I hated nicknames. „What’s up, Joezeeboe“, I answered using his mothers old nickname. „Would you help me? I’m cooking.“ „Nope.“ „Pretty please.“ „Alright, but only because it’s you.“ If he knew, how true that was. We were closer than ever. Almost every other night we would sleep in the same bed, just because we forgot to walk to our room, after a movie or long conversations. I joined him in the kitchen and sighed. „You sound like an elephant running down the stairs like that“, he laughed as he cut onions. „Shut your mouth, or the elephant runs up the stairs again.“ He just laughed louder. „I didn’t say you look like one“, he explained and threw the onions in the preheated pan. I just shook my head and grabbed a knife to help him. „Why are you always choosing the most difficult recipes?“ I asked him. „I love challenges.“ „Well, you do, but why do you involve me in that as well?“ „Because I can.“ I could hear the grin on his face.

As the meal was ready an das delicious as imagined, we filled our plates massivly and began to eat. „Thank you for helping“, Joe said with his mouth full and I couldn’t help but laugh about his face. He looked like a hamster. „You’re very welcome, if you do the dishes alone.“ „Y/N!“ I laughed again. „I’m kidding. But we made a mess and you know I hate cleaning up.“ „Yeah, me too. But after that we can watch a movie. Or Game of Thrones. You choose.“ He took a sip from his wine and looked at me with questioning eyes. The sparkle in them is unreal, I thought to myself as I let myself get lost in them. He truly had won my heart all over again and as much as I enjoyed every minute we spend together as much I hated myself for falling for that idiot for the second time. „I don’t care. I’m tired. You choose, I’m probably gonna be asleep in less than ten minutes.“ „Noooo, you can’t be tired! I had planned a wonderful evening“, he pouted. „You’re making this sound like it’s a date or something“, I laughed and meant it as a joke but when he didn’t join my laughter I became nervous. This couldn’t be a date. It just couldn’t. „Which it’s obviously not“, I pointed out. „No. Obviously.“ Phew. As much as I was disappointed as much I was relieved. Surely he wouldn’t make the mistake of dating me a second time. After everything edible has been eaten from the both of us, we quickly made the dishes. „The Maynards are coming over in twenty.“ He told me. „But I thought we wanted to watch something?“ „Yeah, well, they wanted to join us and as you said this isn’t a date.“ Did he sound pissed? Was he annoyed with me for speaking out the truth? Did he think this was a date? I was confused. „Alright, then. I haven’t seen them in ages.“ He just nodded. I knew something was off, but I just didn’t know what the matter was.

As the doorbell rang, signalling that the Maynards arrived everything was clean. Joe went to open the door and I sat down on the coach waiting for all 3 to join me. Conor was the first to greet me. „Y/N! I havent seen you since forever. How are you? You look amazing by the way,I love your hair today.“ He was always so sweet to me and I wished I would have fallen in love with him. „Thank you, Conor I missed you. I’m good.“ I hugged him quickly but friendly and turned to Jack who already held his arms out for me. „Well, well, little Lady. Look at yourself you‘re becoming more beautiful everyday.“ „Oh, shut up, Jack you’re making me blush.“ I laughed and let him pull me into a hug. As we all settled on the coach, me and Joe on the long end, with our feet up, Jack and Conor on the other side, laying in the cushions. We settled for a romantic comedy, as we all didn’t want to pay attention too much. And as I said earlier after ten minutes I was very sleepy and laid my head against Joe’s shoulder. I was at the edge of falling asleep when I heard Conor say: „So, you and her again?“ „No“, Joe whispered so I wouldn’t wake up. „Not after what I did to her.“ „Have you seen the way she looks at you?“, Jack chimed in. „She’s head over heals for you.“ „Well, you clearly didn’t pay attention at all. Today she told me that she doesn’t want a date with me. It’s over. We’re friends. It’s good like that.“ „Good is not perfect, Joe.“ „Maybe it isn’t. But maybe good is the best I can get for now.“ I feel anger building inside of me. How come he suddenly wants more than just friendship? Why did he leave me when he wants me? I coudn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t want to wrap my head around it. I felt the urge to get out. Get out to clear my head. So I stood up and without a word I left. Silence. That’s what I need.

I wandered the streets in our neighbourhood for what felt like forever. But as I made my back to our apartment I had calmed down. I knew Joe would ask me why the fuck I would do that. But I didn’t care. As I entered our apartment I heard Joe in the kitchen so I went to him. „Where are Jack and Conor?“ I asked as if nothing happened. „Gone. They went home like an hour ago.“ „Hm. How was the film?“ I tried to be calm and collected but I could feel that my hands began to shake. „Good. Nothing special. Y/N?“ „Hm?“ „Would you look at me,please?“ I didn’t realize that Joe had come closer. „Please.“ So I looked up, directly into his eyes. We stared at eachother in silence and my heart began to race. I couldn’t. My walls have been torn down. I was defeated. „Joe… I… I can’t.. it’s.“, I stammered and took a few steps back. „What is it? Why did you run away? Was it something I said, or…?“ „It’s just.. I.. You broke me and I promised myself to never feel again and then you apologized and we became friends again and I forgave you and I… You started to tear my walls down. I was convinced that I would never love again. And you of all people have to be the person I fall in love with. Again.“ I didn’t care that I started to cry. I finally had the courage to tell him the truth. Even if that meant to get my heart broken all over again. „You… sure?“ I just shrugged, then nodded and wiped my tears away. „I always… I always thought I wasn’t… doesn’t matter…“, he interrupted himself. It seemed like he was more upset than I was. „Joe… I’m sorry, I can’t control my feelings after all.“ „Well, neither can I. Nobody can. When I met Hannah she was all I ever dreamed of in a girl. But that wasn’t the reason I broke up with you. You know why I called it quits? Because it felt too right. You felt too right. And I coudn’t let myself trust someone like that. I never had loved someone like I loved you. I got scared. So I had to push you away. Hannah was perfect so I thought it would be easy to forget you when I’m with her. It wasn’t. I could’ve punched myself everytime I heard you cry. I was miserable and Hannah knew that. She wanted that you moved out. But I couldn’t let you go. So I broke up with her. I never thought you would forgive me after that. But you did. I don’t deserve you. Noone deserves you.“ He cried, too. After his rant we just stood there, looking at us crying. He loves you, I told myself again and again. He loves you. My tears ran out and I smiled at him. „I thought I was strong, not feeling anything. Fuck that. I’m strong, when we’re together.“ „You make me strong“, he sang to me as he embraced me and kissed me passionately. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey guys, I hoped you liked the second one. This ones a bit dramatic. :D Love, Kat .xx

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