#I can barely keep a conversation going in English. slack jawed and glassy eyed and gone
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#vent#not much of one#but I can feel myself. slipping at times#I sound like her when I talk. when I lose focus when I forget how to speak#when I hear things that aren’t there#i look in the mirror and I don’t see a 23 year old#I see. something shattered between way too young and way too old#I don’t feel like myself. in a completely unironic way#because even though I’m not alone in here. I know who I am. we all have a role to play but sometimes it feels like my role is to just fall#apart#break. shatter. whatever pretty word describes it#my thoughts leave. my words because clumsy. childish. it all falls out of my head like bile#chevy and I wanna try and learn another language together to test. our brains#I can barely keep a conversation going in English. slack jawed and glassy eyed and gone#I know where I am. I don’t know where I’m going#I just know that when I’m eventually trapped in my own head I have a way to get out#I don’t feel like myself anymore. and I don’t feel like anyone else either#I just feel like I’m falling away from everyone. into a dark dark place#and I’m scared and alone. too big to feel this small#too young to feel this old.#its hereditary
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