#I could go hunting at one more thrift store Friday morning too

[ultimateaclrecovery]

So making decisions is hard and I can’t decide what dress I want to wear to my friends wedding this weekend.

My new dress I got at goodwill for seven dollars and is great, BUT it’s a much better fit for my other friends wedding in august with how short and summery it is and it just matches her vibe better tbh. And is maybe too short for semi formal/cocktail at a classic wedding venue vs the summer wedding in the mountains.

The Christmas dress I wore this Christmas to my work partyand I already have pictures in it, and it might be too wintery. But it is all different people.

My former wedding dress feels springy and honestly would match the vibe of this friends wedding perfectly and I don’t have any recent pictures of it BUT I wore at last summer at a wedding with almost all the same people I’m going to be seeing this weekend.

So I’m torn.

In order: new dress, Christmas dress, former wedding dress

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 21 Pt 1

He woke early to tend to Lily and the twins letting Sildie sleep. He’d put her through hell this week and it troubled him. He’d put them all through hell if he was being completely honest. He couldn’t feel lower than he already did even though she’d said he was forgiven, he still felt like an asshole.

“Can we play games?” Liam asked.

“Finn can but I understand you have this weekend as a games free weekend, yes?” Gustaf said sitting Lily in her chair.

“Pleeeease?” He begged.

“No, Liam. Sorry, little man I’m already in enough trouble this week. It would be both our asses and I’m not about to override Ama on punishment fitting the crime.” He said and ruffled the kids hair as he pouted. “She’s the boss, and you can’t disappear like that in the middle of the night even if it was only next door to see me.”

“Worth a try.” He muttered as he sat for breakfast.

“Yeah, but choose your battles dude.” He chuckled. “No way you were winning that one.” He looked at the kid and felt bad for him really. He’d poured his heart out that night. “Liam.” He said gently. “I know you’re hurting, but you can’t freak her out like that.”

“I didn’t know it would freak her out. I just wanted you.” He said quietly. Gustaf pulled his head to him to hug.

“I get it kid. I’m here now though ok. No more running away.” He said gently.

“I won’t. Can we please play games?”

“Nope, and you can’t play me off against Ama either. What she says, goes, dude. She’s the boss, she’s responsible for you guys. I don’t get a say in that side of things.” Not yet at least, he thought, one day maybe but that was a stretch, they were her kids. He was just along for the ride.

“Ok.” Liam said half heartedly, the kid would test the boundaries again no doubt.

Gustaf fed Lily, the little lady grinning at him with her mouth full. “That’s not very lady like Lily.” He snorted and the twins laughed, so Lily did it again. Once the breakfast dishes were done and stacked in the dishwasher he stretched out on the floor with Lily, content to let his mind drift while he played with her. His mind was exhausted with the past week and it was healing to just sit and relax with the tiny girl. The twins had pulled an old board game out and decided to keep themselves amused.

He was slightly apprehensive about what he’d find in the two remaining boxes but knew they had to get done, the painters would be in on Wednesday to start work on Sildie’s office. He had furniture arriving Friday, and then he could spend time on decorating it, finding all her law books, making it hers. Besides, she’d be right here if he needed her.

His mind wandered to their weekend away he was planning. He wanted that to be special for her, destress and for him to finally tell her he loved her. He just hoped he didn’t chicken out like last time. He felt closer to saying it today than he had back in the snow so that had to be something.

His gaze fell on the digital photo frame he’d purchased for Lily still sitting in the box, neglected. With everything that had happened since the girl’s birthday he’d forgotten to hang it for them. He switched his train of thought over, and decided to open it and see what he’d need to hang it up. Lily was helping when Sildie shuffled out in her robe looking a little disheveled. He liked that look on her, the one that said “I got fucked so good last night.”

“Good morning love.” He chuckled, the humor at her appearance coating his voice.

“Morning.” Her mumble was slightly irritable.

“You ok?” He frowned as she didn’t seem quite herself.

“Yeah. Just, I was really deep asleep and then I woke up and you weren’t there.” She yawned and headed to the kitchen. She tried so hard to shake it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

He closed the lid of the box and picked Lily up as he stood. It made his heart ache when he heard that slight edge of fear in her voice. He’d left her and the memory of it haunted her. She hadn’t said anything to him about it and realized she was probably holding it in so it wouldn’t weigh on him even though it did. He’d deal with that in the next few days, she couldn’t have that pressing on her too.

He wrapped an arm around her as she filled the kettle and put it onto boil, nuzzling her neck and kissing the spot just below her ear. Lily hugged her too and Sildie chuckled.

“Have the kids been good?” She asked as she turned to face him.

“Yeah. Liam tried for games. He did not succeed, obviously.” He grinned and pointed to the TV where it sat in silence.

“He’s a button pusher that one, like his father was.” She sighed as his hand found her hip under her robe. She’d missed that touch. Seductive, warm, loving. Home.

“Morning love.” He murmured again and kissed her tenderly.

“Good morning.”

“Sorry I wasn’t in bed. I wanted you to sleep some more.” He kissed her brow and he let his hand wander the bare skin of her hip, content to linger and breathe her in.

“I like waking up to you beside me, but thank you for the sleep in.” She kissed him, her tongue teasing his, she was burying it, he could see it. His hand gripped her hip as he deepened the kiss until she broke away to turn the kettle off, a hand resting on his chest.

“Going to hang that for us?” She asked looking at the box on the floor. “I didn’t get to it yet, too much going on.” She said quietly.

“I can if you want? What wall would you like it on?” He kissed her cheek as she made the tea and took the two cups to the table.

“I think the one beside the hall door so they can see it before bed. If it’ll fit there, there’s not much room but it does have an outlet.” She said as she brought the teapot to the table and sat down.

“I think we can manage that hey little lady?” He asked Lily and she squealed in delight. Gustaf kissed her neck so she giggled. He dipped down to kiss Sildie quickly before taking Lily back to the box and started to unpack it.

He was focused on the small project but his mind was busy with thoughts of Sildie. She was hurting, he’d lumped a ton of stress on her the past few weeks and the past few days had been hell, not just on him. She was burying it deep down for him, letting him heal. Knowing how fragile he was after yesterday’s find she was protecting him. He had to make this better.

She poured the tea and was content to be lost in her thoughts of watching him and Lily together, that same question circling her head like a damn buzzard. Did she want kids with him, did she want kids of her own, a family that they made? The thought had never really appealed to her, until Gustaf.

He was so good with the kids and she could see he wanted them, ones of his own as well as the ones he’d taken on. She saw that clear as day yesterday, the level of grief for the child that had never existed in anything but thought. If she didn’t want kids would he stay, she wondered? Would he give that up if she truly didn’t want to carry and birth a child, want to be responsible for another life? She really didn’t know how she felt about all that. She’d had relationships break down because she wouldn’t be the stay at home wife and mother, she wasn’t entirely sure she was cut out for it. I mean shit, she thought sarcastically, look how well this is all going and they aren’t even mine. Her career was her baby and that had always been the case. She sighed out carefully as all the emotions began to swim around in her head.

She wanted him, to be with him, grow old with him, enjoy life with him. Could they have that without children of their own? Would he resent her in the end? Would he hate her for it? Fuuuuck me, she growled inwardly, she really didn’t have the energy for all this and she was tired and irritable on top of it.

She got up and made some breakfast for herself and a snack for the twins as they came out in the hunt for food. She was sure they had hollow legs to fill up they were growing so fast. They decided that they’d help Sildie get a collection of photos together so they could load the digital frame once Gustaf was done.

With the frame secured to the wall Gustaf turned it on and fiddled with it as he held Lily.

“Thanks.” She said and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his neck, breathing in the smell of him that steadied her. “The boys and I are going photo spelunking today.” She said quietly.

“That sounds like fun.” He said gently, his hands resting on hers.

“It’ll be good for all of us I think. Start moving forward.” Her voice was soft and he picked up on the grief. It was still raw for her.

“Feeling better?” He asked cautiously.

“Not really better just more settled I think. I don’t know.” She shrugged and he turned to face her. “I know it’s not done but we have to move forward, we can’t stay stuck where our heart wants to be stuck.” She kissed him and took Lily to change her. “That’s not living.”

“It’s a start love. One step at a time.” He kissed her temple and followed her to her room to shower and dress for the day. “I’ll head home after my shower, take care of the few boxes before the thrift store guys get here.” He waited until she’d put Lily down on the floor before wrapping his hands around her waist and kissing her so her mind blanked and she went lax in his arms.

“Tease.” She breathed.

“You love it.” He growled. So fragile he thought, and he’d forgotten how fragile she was.

“Yes I do.” And she kissed him, that sinful touch that made his cock throb. His groan made her grin wickedly. “I’m here if you need me ok?”

“Thank you.” He said resting his forehead against hers. “Same goes.”

“Don’t shut me out.” She murmured and kissed him tenderly, which was exactly what she was doing and she knew it.

“I won’t. I should be fine today, I don’t think there’s anything else in those boxes to trigger anymore memories from her.” He kissed her and went to take a shower as the twins called out to her. “If you need a break from photos let me know and I’ll come over to sit with the boys while you soak in the tub or something.”

“I’ll be ok, I have to face it all sometime right?” She huffed, she really didn’t want it shoved in her face today on top of everything else the past few weeks had thrown at her, but that was life, suck it up and deal regardless of what you’re feeling.

“Yeah, but not alone remember.” He kissed her longingly. “Never alone love.” He kissed her again as he tested the temperature of the water. “Come get me if it’s too much ok?”

She nodded. “I will and same goes. I’m just next door if you need me.”

She went out to find the twins had opened the old laptop and had a ton of photos already selected. “We’ll have to wait and see which ones Brendan wants to have on their too ok? Keep looking and selecting the ones you want. We have plenty to choose from.” She chuckled. She’d keep it light for the kids, she couldn’t let the grief swallow her today because if that happened, it would consume them entirely.

Gustaf said good bye to the the boys and Lily, and stood on her threshold. “See you in a little bit. My brother might come over later, he just texted me so just send a messenger if you need anything.”

“How about you have the afternoon and evening with your brother and just come home when you’re ready to sleep?” She said gently, he had family to spend time with and be damned if she would get in the way of that. His siblings were important to him, family was important to him.

“You sure?” He watched her carefully and saw that gorgeous smile that filled him with warmth.

“Of course. It’s your family.” Something else Ana had fucked with on a regular basis if his notebook was anything to go by.

“If you feel up to meeting him come on over for a hot minute.” He said, his face lighting up. She hadn’t seen that light in his eyes for weeks.

“I might just do that and dump Lily on you while I go and pick up Brendan so I don’t have to take her out in the weather.” She smiled.

“Sounds good.” He kissed her, that love he held inside so tightly flooding out of him. She felt it so deeply now, the love, the relief. He was still expecting rejection, an argument, all the shit he’d been put through. It was a knee jerk reaction she hoped would pass with time.

She watched him walk to his apartment and wondered if she shouldn’t get him to just move in with her. Whoa there, hold the fuck up woman, the thought startling her as she closed her own door slowly. That’s taking things a little fast, even though it would make perfect sense, he was practically living in her apartment anyway.

“Lets get him through this Ana bullshit first.” She muttered under her breath, she’d think on all that later. “One step at a time.” She sighed as she sat with the boys and went through more photos that brought both joy and pain.

He tossed his phone and keys on the coffee table and headed into the room that would soon be Sildie’s office. He sat on the floor and tentatively reached out a hand for the first box. He swore as his hand shook. “Don’t be an idiot, they’re just boxes of crap.” He spat as he started to rummage through the remaining two boxes. The only thing he found that hit home were a few photos from happier times.

He sat there and stared at them, remembering, letting his mind drift to memories he’d buried. He’d loved her in the beginning. Her smile, her laugh, the way she... “Nope, don’t go there.” He said sternly. “Don’t you fucking dare go there.” He breathed angrily. “That was then and that’s not the person she turned out to be. She’s not the kind loving soul you thought she was. What she made you believe.” He put the photos with his phone, he’d stuff them inside the notebook so he could burn it all later. He would be rid of her, everything of her, he’d torch it all off the face of the earth. “It was all a lie.” He breathed out. “Lies, deceit, nothing but fucking pain.”

He looked around at the room that would be Sildie’s office and could see her sitting here working. It would be painted Wednesday and he grinned. He would transform this room into something wonderful for her, functional. He’d give her the world and everything he was.

The knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. Bill was here and he needed some downtime of kicking his ass on the x box and some brotherly heart to heart. Time where he could let his guard down completely and just be a brother.

“Moving next door?” Bill joked seeing the boxes by the door as he came inside.

“No, not yet. Though I’m working on asking her to move in here.” Gustaf chucked as Bill cocked an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Gustaf chuckled a huff and scrubbed a hand over his head nervously.

“I’m happy for you. ’Bout fucking time you found someone that treated you right.” Bill stepped around the boxes littering the floor. “I’m just giving you shit bro.” He said softly as he saw the look on his brothers face. He was hurting.

“Well that’s what all this shit is. Leftovers I’d forgotten about. Well no more, I want Ana out and gone.” He said shutting the door. “For good.”

“You’re in love with her aren’t you? Sildie?” Bill asked knowing full well his brother was completely gone over the mystery woman.

“Yes. Her and the kids.”

“It’s the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time.”

“I nearly fucked it up though.” He breathed it out as he walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on. “I nearly fucked up the best thing that’s ever happened to me Bill and I’m fucking kicking myself.” He murmured softly as his brother followed him, leaning against the counter silently. Bill would give his brother space, he could see the grief clearly. Something had happened since they’d hung out together last.

He told Bill everything as the kettle worked to a boil. His stupidity of diving head long into the toxic waste of his mind. Shutting Sildie out, the twins soccer game, Brendan, leaving her. The night she ripped into him. “I really fucked up.”

He was close to all his siblings but his connection to Bill was much closer even with the age difference. He could tell him anything and everything and when the shit had gone down with Ana he was the one to pull him out of it.

“Fuck.” Bill breathed out. “That’s a lot.”

“Yeah.” Gustaf poured the water into the French press and turned, leaning back against the counter while the coffee brewed. “I’m an idiot.”

“You guys ok now?” His brother was worried, Gustaf could see it, hear it in his question.

“Yeah, but I hurt her and I never fucking wanted to or meant to. Fuck Bill, I never wanted any of Ana’s shit to touch her life, the kids. This has just kicked the shit out of me, her as well. It’s like it only happened yesterday and I’m dealing with the emotional fallout all over again.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I can’t lose her. It’ll end me.”

“She loves you G.” Bill said softly. “A woman doesn’t flip her shit like that for just anyone. They only fight for those that they love. You obviously mean something to her or she wouldn’t have said what she said. She wouldn’t have fought for you. You remember Alida’s ripped me a few times.” He said ruefully.

“True, but you know where my mind goes.” He muttered fidgeting with the teaspoon.

“I do. You still good, still sober and all that?” He asked gently.

“Yeah. I’m still good. No way I’m letting that bitch take that from me too.” Gustaf spat.

“I’m proud of you bro.” Bill lightly punched his arm. “It’s a hard road staying away from all that shit.”

He smiled. “I love her Bill. I can’t fall into old habits, I would lose her for good. We’ve already had that discussion and there are no second chances with that. And there’s no way in hell I’m going back to that part of my life.”

“You won’t, you’re too fucking strong to let it drag you down again. Deep breath bro, you got this.”

He blew his breath out. “The past few weeks have been fucking scary.” He chuckled.

“You doing ok now?”

“Yeah, I’ll be better once this shit’s out of here.” He said pointing to the boxes and pouring the coffee. “Trying to move past it.”

“You will, give it a little time.”

“Anyway, enough of that crap. How’s my favorite niece?”

“She’s good, growing up way too fast.” Bill’s smile was goofy and wide, a proud father, and Gustaf felt his heart clutch. How he wanted that feeling. “You ready for me to kick your ass?”

“Bring it.” Gustaf grinned, this was just what he needed and Sildie must have seen it. “You’re going down.”

“Ha! Dream on.” Bill chuckled.

It was a typical boys day in, coffee, junk food, boxes of shitty memories being removed from home and heart, and the constant back and forth only brothers could dish at each other. He let the past weeks fall away and lost himself to the moment, enjoying time with his brother. He was in the process of kicking Bill’s ass when there was a soft knock at the door. Likely Sildie he thought, and grinned.

With the game on pause he stood and opened the door. Damn she was beautiful. Lily on her hip, that slightly flustered look, the love in her smile as her eyes met his. That smile, the one she kept only for him. Without a word he cupped a hand behind her neck and kissed her. That searing kiss that made her body ripple with pleasure and made her pussy tingle.

“Hi love.” He murmured when he let her come up for air.

“Hi.” She wasn’t steady. The man had kissed her so thoroughly she was lightheaded. Lily squealed a dad dad and reached for him. He took the child and kissed her until she giggled and squirmed.

“You sure you ok taking her?” She asked quietly.

“We’ll be fine. Do you want to meet Bill?” He asked gently, he wouldn’t push, he knew how difficult it was for her and that reminded him, he needed to come up with a plan to tell his family about her and the kids so Christmas wouldn’t destroy them.

“A quick hi, I have to go pick Brendan up.” She was suddenly nervous and started wringing her hands, the gesture not lost on Gustaf. She relaxed slightly as his arm came around her shoulder, fingers gently caressing the skin of her neck and shoulder where the cowl neck of her sweater had slipped.

She didn’t know if she was really ready but it was important to Gustaf so she sucked it up for him. What’s one more thing on her plate she scoffed silently?

“Bill?” He called and the tall brother came to the door. “This is Sildie.”

“Hi, great to finally meet you.” Bill could tell she was nervous so he kept it light. Not only that his brother would kill him if he fucked this up.

“Hi, you too, I’m sorry it’s taken so long.” Her smile was kind but all nerves. “The monsters don’t make it easy.”

“You’re coming for Christmas though right?” He asked gently, not pushing her.

“That’s the plan.” She breathed out and calmed as Gustaf squeezed her to him with a kiss to her temple, his scent calming her. “This is Lily.” She said softly, not entirely sure of herself.

“We’ve met.” He chuckled.

“The day she called me dad dad, Bill was over.” Gustaf said gently, seeing her confusion.

“He was your tidy up what I was in the middle of?” She chuckled and looked at Gustaf.

“Yeah.” His shrug said it hadn’t bothered him.

“I got the boot.” Bill joked.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” Sildie said. “That was a day.”

“It’s fine.” Bill smiled. “They can be a hand full.”

“AMA?” Finn called. “YOUR PHONES RINGING.” The kid bellowed.

“That was T 2, I gotta go.” She chuckled.

“T 2?” Bill asked slightly confused.

“Troublemaker number 2. That’s what’s twins are, troublemakers.” She grumbled.

“They giving you a hard time?” Gustaf asked gently.

“No, just, well you know.” She mumbled. “It was nice to meet you, and I’m sorry it’s so short.”

“It’s fine, we’ll have plenty of time at Christmas to chat in amongst the noise.” Bill laughed.

“I’ll see you in a bit to relieve you of this monster.” She kissed Lily and watched as Bill left them to it.

“I’ll just bring her over when she gets fussy.” He said and kissed her temple.

“You doing ok?” She asked gently.

“I’m doing ok. You?”

“About the same.”

Mmmm he thought, not quite, but ok. “Drive safe love.” Gustaf murmured and kissed her before she took off to collect the twins and head out. He shut the door and Lily eyed Bill not too sure of the other person in the room. She wasn’t ok, Gustaf thought, she couldn’t hide the red in her eyes from crying, not from him anyway.

“I can see why you’re so in love with her.” Bill said quietly as Gustaf sat down. “She’s gorgeous for a start.”

“You have no idea.” He chuckled. “She’s incredible, inside and out.” He said settling Lily on his lap and picking up the controller. “Wicked smart too.”

“What does she do?” Bill asked as he started to retaliate causing Gustaf to swear at him.

“Civil rights attorney.”

“Damn!” Bill whistled.

“Yeah, super smart.”

“No helping Lily.” Bill laughed as her little hand suddenly shot out and smacked the controller in Bill’s hand. He let the child grab a hold of his thumb even though it was busy, as his brother kicked his ass into next week.

“Keep helping.” Gustaf whispered loudly and Lily giggled as Gustaf’s scruff tickled her neck.

“And this one is super cute and adorable when she’s not helping you win.” Bill chuckled and wiggled his thumb watching Lily.

“She is that.” Gustaf kissed her head and the tiny girl hugged him.

“She’s stolen your heart brother.” He chuckled, seeing the tiny girl snuggle into his brothers massive frame.

“Not a hardship.” Gustaf almost blushed, he wasn’t embarrassed it was just, she had and he couldn’t deny that he liked it, it felt right.

“You have to tell me this dad dad story.” Bill quipped grinning wide.

The brothers played and Gustaf told him of the connection he’d formed with Lily, the kids, finding the stress leaving him. He paused the game as he told Bill of Sildie’s brother, the situation she was dealing with, the overwhelming grief.

“She’s a very special person G.” He said quietly. “And thats fucking heartbreaking.”

“Yeah she really is. She’s given up everything for the kids. Her life as one of the top attorneys, partnerships, her apartment, her friends, relationships, everything. She dropped it all mid trial in England to come back for the kids.” Gustaf thought on that as he told Bill. He’d forgotten how much she’d sacrificed for them.

“Damn that’s a lot to handle.” Bill said as Lily started to play with his keys.

“Yeah. I’m glad I can help out, though I’m hoping it’ll become more, that she’ll move in. If she’s not done with me by then.”

“She’s far from done with you bro. The way she looked at you, that woman is gone over you just as much as you are over her.” He smiled.

“Fuck man I hope she’s never done with me.” Gustaf grinned.

“You guys’ll be ok.” He said as Lily grabbed at his hand.

They entertained Lily until it was around dinner time and Bill decided to leave him to it and be with the family he’d become a part of.

“I’m so fucking happy for you man.” He said hugging Gustaf hard. “So happy.”

With a bye bye to Bill from Lily he took the stairs and was gone. “Shall we go get some dinner little lady?” He asked her as she hugged him. She was due for food and a bath and Gustaf found he wanted to be with the boys and Sildie. He craved it. He needed to be there for her tonight when the grief hit, once the kids were asleep. He knew she’d hold it in for them, only letting it go when she was alone. He could see it simmering below the surface when she dropped Lily off.

Lily snuggled into him as he turned off the x box and the lights, and tidied the kitchen. He closed the door to Sildie’s soon to be office and smiled. “That’ll be a nice gift for mum mum huh?” He kissed her head as she echoed his mum mum, grabbed his keys, the photos, his phone, and went next door.

There were cheers of Gustaf as he came through the door and it always lifted him. Brendan waved and showed him some of the photos they’d been working on during the afternoon. They all seemed a little sad but not as grief torn as before. It was progress, healing.

“Thanks for meeting Bill.” He murmured as came into the kitchen and kissed Sildie.

“I was so nervous.” She said softly. “I’m sorry if it felt like I was stand-off ish. I didn’t mean it to be.” The truth was she’d felt irritable and off all day.

“It’s fine. Nothing to be sorry about.” He kissed her quickly as she moved to get dinner ready. “Need a hand?” He asked softly.

“No, I’ve got it but you could get her cleaned up.” She said throwing the pasta into the water.

“Consider her cleaned up.” He kissed her again and took Lily to get changed.

They all sat for dinner and Brendan went through the slideshow he’d created for the digital frame. There were some tears but more from the fact they just missed their parents than the heartbreaking grief. The kids were healing faster than Sildie, kids were amazingly resilient.

“I’m ok.” Sildie whispered and smiled at him as Gustaf brushed a tear away with his thumb, kissing her temple, and resting his arm around her shoulder.

Not really, he thought, but nice try. Maybe this was too much for her to handle he thought, did he hurt her more? Did he drag up all those emotions and shove them in her face this morning when he opened the box? Damn could he get through one day without fucking up?

“Can I put it in the frame Ama?” Brendan asked quietly, seeing she was upset.

“Of course love.” She said wiping the tears away and the twins hopped down as well crushing her in a hug. “I’m ok boys. Still a little raw.” She smiled and kissed them both. “But I’m ok. You guys make it all ok.”

She stood and picked up a fussy Lily from her chair and wandered over to the frame. The boys pointed out everyone and Lily watched intently as she clung to Sildie. Gustaf left them a moment and cleared the table, there were some things they needed to do on their own, just the five of them.

Brendan joined him in the kitchen a little while later to help with the dishes while the twins were in the bath and Sildie bathed a now cranky Lily.

“Is Ama ok?” He asked Gustaf. “Is she going to cry like last time?”

“I think she’s ok, it’s just raw for her B. I’ll check on her in a moment. Or you can? She might like that.” He smiled and saw the grin on the kids face. “She’s just hurting, lots more for her to process, she’ll be ok, we’ll make sure of it right?” The kid nodded and smiled feeling slightly better.

He finished helping Gustaf in the kitchen and went to see his aunt after hugging Gustaf hard. They were in there a while and Gustaf let them have the time. When she came out with a very tired Lily the tears were gone and she seemed brighter. He left it at that, the teenager had obviously settled her.

He put his script down and clapped his hands for Lily but she snuggled into Sildie with a firm “no.” “I guess you’re it tonight.” He grinned. “Had enough of me today Lily bear?”

“Guess so.” She chuckled.

“Night Lily bear.” He soothed coming to his feet. He wrapped his arms around them both. “My two best girls.” He murmured and kissed Sildie tenderly as he continued to rub Lilys back until her eyes started to droop.

“I’m going to put her down, shower and pass out. I’m exhausted.” She said gently. She was beat to hell emotionally with the tears she’d shed earlier in the day while he was away. She had her own grief to work through and she knew he’d be safe with his brother.

“Want me to get the twins sorted?” He asked and she stopped dead.

“Crap, no I’ll do it, you got them this morning.” She sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly defeated.

He held her to him as she went to leave. “I’ll get them.” He kissed her before she could argue. “I’ll get them.” He repeated. “I’m happy to do it.”

“I just feel as if I’m dumping everything on you.” And she was, it was a learning curve for all of them, one she wasn’t handling very well.

“You’re not. Together remember.” He kissed her tenderly, that slow burn that soothed her. “Besides I’m the one that kept you up all night screaming my name.” He growled.

“You’re sure?” Her finger trailed down his jaw and disappeared into the deep V of his shirt.

“Hundred percent. Get her down, take a long hot shower, and I’ll see you in bed for a snuggle. You ok if I read for a bit?” He ran his fingers through the stray strands of hair before tucking them behind her ear.

“Sure, no work though. That’s the only rule I have for the bedroom, no work reading, no work period.”

“I’ll pop home real quick and grab my book.” He kissed her again and went and did exactly that.

By the time he got back the twins were in bed ready for him to tuck them in. He read two chapters and even Brendan sat at the door listening.

“You can come in next time B.” Gustaf said gently and hugged the kid sensing that’s what he needed.

“Thanks for the photo frame.” He said quietly. “I know it was Lily’s present but, thanks.”

“You’re welcome. You ok?” Gustaf asked gently. The kid nodded but he could tell he was on the verge of tears. “It’s ok to miss them.” He murmured and wrapped the kid in a hug as he cried quietly. “Somedays it’s ok to not be ok and I’m always just a phone call or text message away.” He said as the teen held onto him for dear life. “Anytime B. I’ll always be here for you if you need me.”

“Thanks. Sorry.”

“No apologies needed. You reading for a bit?” The kid nodded once the tears had stopped. “Me too.” He held up the book that Brendan had given him for his birthday. “This is pretty awesome by the way.” The kids face lit up. It didn’t take much to get the kid smiling. “You guys managed to get all the books I like to read.”

“I’m reading Tolkien right now.” The kid perked up as he spoke.

“Good author. Love reading those over and over, I always manage to catch something I missed the first few hundred times I’ve read them.” Gustaf hugged the kid again. “Get to bed.” He grinned and the kid chuckled.

“Night Gustaf.”

“Night kid, get some sleep.”

The teen nodded and settled into bed as Gustaf turned off all the lights, checked the front door, and smiled at the sight as he walked through the bedroom door. Sildie was naked and already curled up in the middle of the bed half asleep, but fidgety.

“Any room in there for me love?” He chuckled softly.

“Plen’y.” She muttered her voice muffled by the pillow she was snuggled against.

He stripped and he could see her watching him. “You keep looking at me like that love and I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

“Just watching the show.” She giggled as a grin split across her face.

“Oh, I’m your personal entertainment now?” He laughed playfully.

“You are when you strip like that in front of me, I mean what’s a girl supposed to do?” She smirked.

“If you weren’t half asleep already I’d show you.” He growled and climbed into bed kissing her temple. “Maybe I’ll show you regardless.” He murmured and let his hand drift over her hip before crushing his lips to hers.

He got settled close to her and opened his book. Resting an arm along her ribs he let his fingers trail over her hip as he read. Her hand splayed out over his chest and he heard the soft contented sigh as she relaxed. Her whole body letting go of the day.

She let her hand wander his body, slender fingers burning a trail into his skin, arousing him.

“You keep doing that and you’ll get more than you bargained for.” He said in that low tone as he kissed her head. He felt the smirk against his chest. “I mean it.” He chuckled as her hand dipped lower.

His groan was guttural as she took his cock in her hand. She stroked him and nuzzled her face into his neck, nipping the soft skin making him hiss. She was exhausted but needed to feel him, wanted him.

He moved lightening quick. She suddenly found herself on her back pressed between his lean hard body and the mattress, book discarded, that talented mouth devouring hers.

“I warned you love.” He growled and nipped her jaw playfully. He knew, could see she was tired, the emotional aspects of the day had caught up to her, but she needed release. She needed home. She needed him.

“I need you.” She whispered and kissed him, that love and passion filling him.

“I know.” He breathed. “I could see it when you brought Lily over.” With his body weight pressing down on her he hooked her leg over his hip and slipped inside her. Her warmth enveloped him as her soft moan filled the room.

He took her slowly, letting the love and tenderness he had for her arouse and seduce. He gently wound his fingers in hers and held them as he thrust, the slow rhythm torturous and erotic for them both.

“Gustaf.” Her cry was choked as she lost herself to him, the feel of him.

“What do you need love?” He whispered kissing her throat as she tilted her head back offering it to him. He’d give her anything to make the pain and stress he’d caused go away.

“I need you.” She whispered softly.

“You have all of me.” He murmured as her eyes locked onto his. “Go over.” He breathed.

It didn’t take much. With his body pressed to hers, the feel of his girth and length stretching her, his deep strokes caressing those secret places only he could reach. Her body tensed before it shattered, a deep thunderous sensation from within roared through her as she came, the vice like grip on his cock making her moan in pleasure as she felt him move.

“Sildie.” He whispered. “My Sildie. You are beautiful.”

Her kiss was ravenous, she didn’t want him to stop and he’d sensed it.

“Please.” She choked out and arched against him urging him to take more.

“Roll onto your side.” He said gently. She rolled so he was straddling the straight leg and he held her other to his hip tightly. “Is this what you need love?”

“Yes.” Her whimper was one of desperation. “Gustaf.” Her cry was on the verge of tears as she gripped his thigh as he slowly pull out and thrust back in. He lifted her leg by the ankle to rest it on his shoulder before adjusting his legs.

“Fuck Sildie you’re so tight like this.” He breathed and struggled to stay in control.

He kept the thrusts slow and deep as her body writhed against his. Her release built quickly and he was merciless in tipping her over again and again until he couldn’t hold back any more. He leaned forward slightly and opened her hips wider as he quickened his pace, her cry one of wanton abandon.

He leaned down further until his hands rested on the bed and took her hard, her tightness gripping him, sucking at him as he pounded into her. He reached down to rub a finger over her clit and she exploded. The release she’d been searching for thundered through her, a scream of his name into the pillow as he continued to rock her world off its axis. He gripped her hip hard as he came, almost blacking out from its intensity, her pussy pulsing around him. He rode her until they were both spent before slowing to a stop.

He sat back on his knees and watched her. She hadn’t moved apart from her heavy breathing. The tears would come next he thought, he hoped, she was holding onto everything so tightly. He lay behind her and tenderly pulled her to him, curling her into him.

“Let it out love.” He murmured. “I know it’s been eating at you all day. Let it out, I’m here.” She turned and broke. The soft weeping of tears held back from the kids.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed.

“It’s ok.” He soothed and let his fingers stroke her head, tangling into her hair. “It’s all ok.” He kissed her head and she clung to him, the light in her darkness.

She sniffed and swiped at her tears as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry. It’s too raw.”

“It will be for a while love.” He swept her hair back from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “We’re healing though right? Together?” His smile made her smile and nod.

“I guess crying after sex really is our thing.” She chuckled. “Fuck I feel so stupid when I do this.” She huffed.

“There are worse things.” He kissed her tenderly, the long, slow burn. Love.

“Thank you.”

“For fucking your brains out? You’re absolutely welcome.” He quipped and she huffed a chuckle.

“That, and letting me fall apart. Being safe enough to be able to. You know what I mean.” She mumbled and shrugged suddenly self conscious.

“I do. You ok?”He kissed her softly.

“Yeah, just too much shoved in my face today. Wasn’t really prepared for it. I know I have to deal with it but after the past few weeks it’s all too much.”

“I’m sorry love.” He kissed her brow and hugged her tighter.

“We’ll be fine.” She yawned, she tried to keep that part reigned in. He was still too emotionally fragile to deal with how he’d hurt her and she needed to not be over sensitive about it which was hard as it slowly ate away at her.

“Sleep time for you, I’m going to read a bit more ok?”

She nodded. “Just, stay here.” She mumbled as she snuggled down against him. “Please.” She sucked in the sob, he knew she was being clingy.

“I’m right here love.” His heart lurched. It would take time for that to pass since he’d sewn that seed of doubt.

“Sleep now.” He murmured and kissed her head.

She was out cold when his eyes started to grow heavy. Carefully placing the book on the nightstand he turned off the light and snuggled down the bed bringing her with him keeping her close, he fell into sleep moments later.

**********************************************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam

[pagesoflauren]

A Thousand Years (vampire!Jack x reader AU) - Part 2

Part 1

@ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff once again you are the BEST EVER :D

Warning: mentions of assault, violence, and death

Y/N wakes up startled. Her phone is vibrating under her pillow, the alarm going off. It’s 9:00 AM; she has a few more hours left before she has to go to her Friday class. She sits up, eyes focusing on the water bottle, ibuprofen and granola bar on her desk. She feels a slight throb in her head. Reaching out, she grabs the granola bar first, pulling at the wrapper to open it and takes a bite. She chews thoughtfully, looking down at the jacket she’s wearing; it’s not hers. In fact, it doesn’t even look like any jacket she’s seen in stores. It’s a brown Gingham coat and resembles something her grandfather would wear. She shrugs it off, looking at the tag. She doesn’t recognize the brand. When she looks it up, the Wikipedia article states it was established in the 1700s and closed in 1946. How the hell did she get it?

It’s only when she notices the smell that she remembers what happened the night before: her trekking to the bar, perching herself on the barstool and him. Jack. The one who smiled and made her forget her own name. The one who curiously forgot how long he’d been out of school and doesn’t even use his degree anymore.

Finishing her granola bar and taking two ibuprofen, she decides she wants to see him again. Maybe he wants to see me again too, she thinks, why else would he leave his jacket? She makes a plan to go to the bar after class, picking out a presentable outfit that isn’t sweatpants and a cable knit sweater. She feels giddy at the thought of seeing him again.

Jack isn’t sure if he wants to see her again.

He sits alone in his house, thick curtains drawn, despite the wooden boards he placed on his windows to shut the sunlight out, and the lights on a dim setting. He reaches over and scratches behind his cat’s ears. He had found him, Socks, picking around the trash at the local park a block away from the house. He saw him every day for a week while he walked home and decided to take him home on Friday. He stopped at a convenience store to pick up some cat food and fed him out of the can before going out the next day to buy him the things he needed and get him vaccinated. He named him Socks because he had a habit of stealing socks from his drawer and chewing on them, despite having a box full of cat toys in the living room next to his cat tower.

“What do you think, mate?” Jack asks, “Should I see her again?”

Socks, of course, doesn’t reply. He just turns over, laying on his back while Jack continues to pet him.

“You’re no help, you’re just using me for scratches.”

Jack stops, sighing heavily. He’s beginning to think maybe he’s just thirsty, maybe that’s why he can’t stop thinking about her. He decides he’ll go hunt tonight before he starts his shift at the bar.

Jack’s house is a decent way away from the bar, but he doesn’t mind walking. He doesn’t get cold and, if he really wants to, he could be there faster than a car. But he likes looking at the buildings he’s been surrounded by for the past few decades. They’ve changed some, whether it be a new paint job or they’ve been demolished and rebuilt from the ground up. He walks on the darker side of the street, avoiding sunlight as much as possible, which grows easier as the sun sinks lower and lower beyond the horizon. He listens to the sounds of the street: tires screeching to a stop, people singing badly to the radio and doors opening and closing as people go into different restaurants to grab dinner. A cry of “stop!” catches his attention. He moves quickly to the source of the sound, finding a woman fighting off a man who was reaching for her purse.

“Leave the girl alone, will ya?” Jack says, knowing exactly what the man is going to say. He’s seen this too many times. “Or what?” the man sniggers. He’d be easy to overtake, Jack thinks. He decides to go in quickly, not wanting to waste any time. The woman looks absolutely terrified, she’s looking at Jack like her life depends on it.

He simply walks over and grabs the man’s wrist that’s attached to the hand holding the woman. He squeezes and that enough to get the man to let go and cry out in pain. He grabs the man by his shirt collar and shoves him against the wall of a nearby building. “Go,” he says to the woman. She complies without any other word. “Hey take it easy, mate,” the man pleads. “Yeah?” Jack says, “And how many other women have you attacked like you planned to do to the one?” “Mate, please I won’t do it again, I swear.” He’s squirming, trying to get out of Jack’s grip. It’s hard to do with a broken wrist. “Really? I don’t believe you.”

Jack feels his fangs protrude, watching the man’s face twist up in horror. Before he can scream, Jack presses ever so slightly on his throat. He can’t breathe and Jack brings him into a darkened alley. “You’re a real piece of shit, mate, I hope you know that,” he says. With that, he leans down and bites. He sucks in, feeling the rush of blood come into his mouth before he begins drinking. He drinks until the man stops squirming and he’s limp in Jack’s grip. Once done, he lets him go, watching as he drops in a heap on the floor.

Jack wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he took. The guilt of taking another human life in order to survive was something he didn’t feel anymore. He’d grown numb to it, which he attributes to time passing. He wasn’t heartless. He didn’t pick up helpless, feeble humans to drink on. He picked on those who were the scum of the earth, traumatizing and wounding those who were helpless and feeble. He didn’t have interest in the men and women who willingly let vampires drink from them; the appeal was very short-lived. There was one beautiful woman he was undeniably attracted to, but there was nothing deep about it. It was the euphoria of drinking for both of them and the sexual tension that arose from having her in his lap while he drank. Jack didn’t want that.

Then he thought about Y/N. He felt that same tug in his chest, ignoring it again. No, he told himself, not again. I can’t.

But maybe I should.

Y/N walked into the bar, Jack’s coat folded over her arm. The bar was buzzing with students who just took exams, who were on a date and others who were celebrating birthdays. She found the same barstool she sat in earlier that morning unoccupied and perched herself on there. When the bartender came out from the back, she felt herself deflate. It wasn’t Jack.

“What can I get you, love?” he said, a charming smile making its way onto his face. “Um, a Manhattan, please.” “You got it,” he said, winking.

She felt her cheeks flush, liking the attention she was getting, but still disappointed that it wasn’t Jack. She waited for her drink awkwardly, and cringed away from the arm that reached for the counter next to her. “Hey,” a male voice said. “Hello,” she said quietly. “You come here often?” How original, she thought. “Um, no.” “Yeah I figured, I’d remember a face like yours.” Very original. “Yeah, no. I just came here this morning and I’m waiting for the bartender that helped me. Then I’m leaving right after, so…” she said, hoping he’d get the hint. “Ah, turning in early? Maybe I can join you.” “I don’t think she wants that, mate, but nice try.” Y/N turned eagerly when she heard the familiar Scottish accent interject. He smiled at her as he slid her drink over, “One Manhattan.” “Thanks,” she said, reaching for her wallet. “I’ve got it,” he said again. “Are you sure?” “Yeah.”

They smiled at each other, not feeling the need to exchange any words or any greetings. The man that had tried to speak to her earlier had disappeared without them noticing. “I’ve got your coat,” she said, handing it over to him. “Oh, thanks,” he says, “You didn’t have to.” “No, no I couldn’t keep it. I just…I looked up the company and it’s really old. I figured it was an heirloom or something.” “I don’t know if you can call it an heirloom,” Jack chuckles. “Why not? It’s old, it’s probably been passed down—“ “Because it was the first thing I bought after I came back from the war.” Y/N tilts her head, “The war…? Oh like, your station in the Middle East? Did you buy it in a thrift shop?” “No, lass,” he says, looking down at the jacket, the memories attached to it flooding back to him, “World War II.” No one else at the bar seemed to hear his confession to her, but her shock was extremely tangible. “You…” she starts, mouth falling open, “Oh my god, that actually makes so much sense. You guys don’t sleep, like, ever so you’re a nighttime bartender and you were freezing when you carried me and you carried me so easily!” “Figured you weren’t catching on last night because you were so exhausted.” “Well that’s part of it but I just…I don’t meet a lot of…you…” “Fair enough,” he says. He can’t stop the words that come out of his mouth afterwards, “Wanna go? I can get someone to cover my shift.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, a lot of my coworkers owe me, anyway.”

Thirty minutes later, Y/N and Jack are walking out of the bar, heading toward a diner. He holds the door open for her and they find a booth at the back where they can talk privately.

“Can I ask you questions?” she says. “Sure.” “How old are you?” “I was born in 18…1850? Yeah.” “How old were you when you changed?” “Twenty-seven.” “What happened, why did you change?”

Jack’s gaze falls from her face to the empty table.

“Got caught up in a bar fight, of all things. M’friend and I were trying to walk away from these two blokes that were just upset that we got served before them even though they got there first. It was so stupid. We were just running down the street, trying to get to his dad’s place because they pulled a gun.”

He saw Y/N shudder.

“I just heard the sound of the gun then I fell to the ground. I couldn’t process what was going on. I was still breathing. I don’t know where my mate went, but I remember what they said when they got to me. ‘Just leave him,’ one of them laughed, ‘it’ll be more painful that way.’” “Was it?” “It was excruciating. Then my friend came back. ‘Jack,’ he said, ‘I can help. You want me to help?’ I didn’t know what he was gonna do, I was just thinking about how afraid I was. I nodded and he bent down and bit me.” “Did it hurt?” “I don’t know,” he said, his eyes drifting from the table to gaze out the window, “After that, I just woke up. My neck did feel a little sore, but I felt fine. I felt like I was invincible, and I was. I am. But I didn’t know the consequences. My parents…they refused me. I was some creature from hell, no longer their son.” “I’m sorry,” she said.

He smiled somewhat bitterly. “I just, I stayed with my mate. He taught me everything.” “Where is he now?” “He’s with some lass somewhere in the mainland. I lost contact with them when they moved and their phone disconnected.” “Oh. How long ago was that?” “Few years, maybe in the 90s,” Jack says dismissively. He really stopped keeping track years ago. “Oh,” she says. “I’m sorry, really. I know how it feels when that happens.”

Jack looked at her. Her eyes had compassion and sympathy, but behind them there was the slight sting you feel when you know you and a friend had drifted too far apart, however long ago it was. He didn’t want her to feel pain or sadness, or anything like that. She shouldn’t, he thought, She deserves to be happy all the time.

He doesn’t understand where this comes from. He had closed himself off for so long and suddenly these feelings were coming back. He doesn’t talk much to people like him, so he doesn’t know how common it is for a vampire to want a human this way.

“What bar was it?” she asks, interrupting his thoughts. “The one I work at.” “What?” “Yeah,” Jack chuckles, “Figured if those lads ever come back, I’d give ‘em a good scare, maybe rough ‘em up a bit. Then I just never left.” “You’ve been working there since…” “1877.” “Does your boss know?” “Yeah. So does her father, her granddad, her great granddad and her great-great granddad.” “You must be pretty close with them, then?” “I get invited to the occasional family event. I usually give them li’l gifts and such for holidays and their birthdays. They’re lovely. Probably the closest thing I have to friends nowadays.” “Ah I see.”

There’s a pause in questions when the waitress comes and takes Y/N’s order. Once she walks away, Y/N’s back on them. “So, it’s just you?” “Yeah, just me. And my cat.” “You have a cat?!” she says excitedly. “Yeah. Picked him up on my way home one day. He was poking around the garbage cans in the park a few blocks away from my house.” “Aww that’s sweet! What’s his name?” “Socks.” “That’s so cute,” she giggles. “Named him that because the li’l shit keeps stealing my socks. I find them behind the couch, under the bed, in the cabinets…anywhere.” She giggles for a bit, thinking about Jack finding a sock and lecturing his cat about how he shouldn’t take things that aren’t his.

The waitress interrupts again to bring Y/N her milkshake, fries and burger. She digs in, biting into her burger and causing Jack to laugh when ketchup smears onto her lips.

“What?” she asks. “Nothin’, you’ve just got a bit—here, I’ll get it,” he says, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser and reaching across to wipe away the red condiment. “So, um, what…what do you eat?” she asks quietly, picking up a fry and biting half of it off. “I—Well, it’s not—um,” he starts, not knowing how to say it, “I prefer going out of the city. I hunt bears and deer mostly.” “So,” she pauses. She’s thoughtful, trying to find the right words to ask, “You don’t…you don’t eat, um—“ “Not usually,” Jack says, understanding the direction of her question, “I just…it’s only those who attack others. I don’t pick just anyone off the street.” “Oh, well, that’s…good, in a sense. Or, well it is good for you and if you’re helping others then that’s even better, I guess. But that’s just my opinion. Wait, have you ever gotten caught?” “Couple times, by both human police and vampire—“ “You have your own police department?” “Of sorts, yes. They just make sure no one’s going out and over-indulging, committing mass murders or anything.”

She nods, picking up her burger again and taking another bite. “Enough about me,” Jack says, “Tell me about you.” “Well, what about me?” “Everything. I’ve got all night, and it seems you do too.” She laughs at the truth in that statement. “Well, I was born in the 90s…” “Guess I gotta find myself a woman closer to my age,” he says cheekily. He dodges the french fry thrown at his face. “Oh hush, you.”

By the time they’re done talking, it’s 2 AM.

“I’ll walk you back,” he says, sliding out from the booth.

They walk to the door of the diner, thanking the staff as they leave. There’s a comfortable silence between them, and Jack can sense the heat that’s building in Y/N’s cheeks.

He walks her to her building and she stops before the door. “I had fun,” she says, smiling. “Me too, more fun than I’ve had in a long time.” Y/N’s smile grows even wider and brighter and he feels that tug in his chest again. She looks down fiddling with the sleeves of her jacket. “Jack,” she starts. “Don’t say it,” he says. “Say what?” “I…I’ve been here before. And I can’t be here again. I had fun, I did. But this is where it has to end.” “I don’t understand,” she says, her smiling and bright eyes fading into sad ones. “You need to understand that we can’t be together. This is not something you want.” “What are you talking about?” “This life,” he says, “What I do, how I am…” “You’re right,” she says, “I don’t want to be what you are.”

That causes him to look at her. “I don’t,” she says, shaking her head, “At least, not right now. Maybe I’ll change my mind, I don’t know. But…I like you, Jack. I do.” “You do…” he whispers in disbelief. “Yes,” she says, stepping closer to him. She cups his jaw with her hand and strokes his cheek with her thumb. He is so cold. He’s so cold by nature and her body temperature contrasts that so drastically. He realizes he wants to keep her close all the time. He can’t step into the sunlight or else he risks being reduced to a pile of ashes. But with her so close to him, between his arms, he’s suddenly aware of the fact that’s he’s missed the warmth of the sun for the past one hundred and forty years.

Her hand travels to the back of his neck to bring him closer to her height, and she meets him halfway as she stands on her toes. He holds her close, arms tightening ever so slightly, and he can feel her heart beating against his chest.

For the first time in years, he feels human.

.

.

.

woohoooooo!!!

I really hope you guys like this series as much as I do!!! I’m hoping to put out three more parts before Halloween :3

As always feel free to let me know what you think! Love y’all :D

[oldnintendonerd]

Moving Into Season 3 - Spring of 2019

So I started collecting again in the beginning of 2017. That was two years ago, this season marks the start of the third official season I have been game hunting. I am, admittedly, a small scale operation as compared to some of the other collectors out there. I still seek to fill out my collection with as many rock solid games as possible. Including all of the classic (and maybe some not so classic) games I played when I was younger, in addition to adding games I discover along the way from the community to try out for the first time. I have no desire to go for a complete set for any console. I don’t have the bankroll, the space, or the motivation to have a bunch of games I’ll never play. But I do want a nice tight set of games for each console I love that I can go back to any time I want. That is the goal here.

As far as hunting goes, I am a little behind on the blog, I’ll admit that. I still have the final find from 2018 to detail here, and it was arguably the best find of the entire year. A small collection of a few odds and ends that a co-worker had laying around and simply... well... wanted to get rid of. I’ve also got the trickle of stuff I got though the beginning of the year. It is May already (holy. crap.) and I’ve been to just a few sales. This last weekend got rained out. The weekend before that, yup, rained out, and I was out of town the weekend before that. So we are off to a stellar start. I hope it gets better.

In any case, the co-worker score started off with him emailing me asking if I was interested in purchasing a PS4, and possibly taking a broken PS3 he had that would no longer read discs. I was interested, but, I am a cheap bastard, and I would only have been able to buy the PS4 had he been willing to offload it for something like $50. But of course, he wanted a good bit more than that for it. It had a 1TB drive in it as well, making it that much more valuable. I declined, saying that this is only a hobby, I am not looking to pay close to retail for anything, and a PS4 isn’t on my wish-list anyway. He understood but asked about the rest of the stuff he had. I told him I would be happy to take the broken PS3 to see if it could be fixed. He asked if I wanted the older stuff too, because honestly, his wife has been nagging him to get rid of it, and I would be doing him a favor if he could just give it to me.

I had no idea what “other stuff” meant.

When he told me, my jaw hit the floor.

Now, ANYTHING for free in this collecting hobby is a godsend. This day in age, everything is just so hellishly expensive. So to get donations is a rare and very welcome occurrence. I didn’t want to take advantage of his generosity unless he was certain that was what he wanted to do, so I offered him some money. He declined, saying no, I really was doing him a favor. I guess his wife had been nagging him about getting rid of that stuff for a long time, and the sooner it was gone, the better for him. So what was I to do?

I took the stuff!

Which included:

1. Broken Fat PS3 - It would not read discs. It otherwise worked. Came with one Dual Shock 3 controller.

2. NES Console with one controller and four games: Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 3, Paperboy, and Home Alone 2

3. A Nintendo 64 console with two first party controllers, one third party controller, two controller memory paks, a rumble pak, and seven games: 007 Goldeneye, Mario kart 64, Super Mario 64, Yoshi’s Story, South Park, Beetle Adventure Racing, and Glover

4. Miscellaneous hookups and cables for the two Nintendo consoles including RF switches, Composite cables and power adapters, and one super random and equally terrible third party GameCube controller.

It really was a fantastic haul for being absolutely free. If he’d have at least let me flip him $40 or so, it still would have been an absolute steal. I could have made that back instantly by selling the 007/Mario 64/Mario Kart 64 duplicate cartridges. Pick any two of the three and I’ve made money. I may still do that, but since they were free, they are sitting in a work game room right now along with a few other items from the haul. Namely the extra NES. We have a CRT there, and playing these games on a CRT really is the best. I don’t have room for a CRT at home at the moment.

One thing that did stand out and I was very pleased to get was the two tone, gray/dark gray Mario kart controller for the 64.

Probably my new favorite N64 controller, and now I have one. Sticks on both controllers are very good, I’d say 8/10 on the gray one, and 9/10 on the two tone Mario Kart one.

I thanked him profusely for this lot, I couldn’t believe it, such a nice bit of luck.

I have found VERY little cartridge based games since I started this journey. I think it consisted of a copy of Pokemon Red, and Tetris for the Game Boy, then Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and Track and Field for the NES. Finally, a copy of Mario 64, that wasn’t in the wild, it was just a really good deal on Instagram. That was it up until this point. Everything else has been disc based stuff.

I really hope to find more stuff this season. However, it is already almost Mid May and I haven’t found squat at sales, because there haven’t really been any. The weather here has basically screwed me out of hunting almost every week so far. Monday through Thursday, sunny, 60′s and 70′s for temps through the whole work week. Friday? Rain. Saturday? Rain, or I’m too busy in the morning to go yard-saling. I think I’ve been able to get to maybe four sales so far this season. I hit more than that before April was even over last year.

I’ll end this post here, I’m just getting angry typing it up. I do have a few thrift store finds to detail that was pre-season, but there is nothing else of note so far.

At least not having spent anything through the end of the year, since this find was essentially a donation, we are still sitting at a nice cool $103.68 game hunting money.

05.12.2019

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

Editors Note: Another article from R. Ann Parris to The Prepper Journal. As always, if you have information for Preppers that you would like to share then enter into the Prepper Writing Contest with a chance to win one of three Amazon Gift Cards with the top prize being a $300 card to purchase your own prepping supplies!

The weather has finally broken for most of North America, which has advantages alone. Fewer bugs and less heat make any work we have to do a little easier and if it hasn’t yet, we’re right on the verge of plants dying down, cutting some of our workload and making getting around a bit easier.

The season has more to offer, though, blessed as many of us find it. From the holidays around the corner to seasonal trends, autumn can give us nice boosts to our preparedness.

We don’t have a lot of time left for Halloween (totally my bad) but some of them will be available through Thanksgiving here in the U.S. Others are based solely in the changing of seasons and we have more time yet.

Straw bales, Corncobs, & Squashes

Autumn means we commonly see some decorations that can help us out, especially if we have livestock. Fewer still do it, but there are still neighborhoods and houses that go all out celebrating harvests and holidays.

Straw bales and stuffing from the porch and dooryard scarecrows are sometimes too far gone for animal bedding, but it can be useful stuff as mulch.

Make sure to spread that straw in walkways or stash it for areas of the lawn that end up boggy and muddy, trails our pets and family tear up, and places we want to re-seed with a cereal or different lawn grass. Straw – like hay – has increasingly been treated with Roundup. The herbicide doesn’t hurt monocots, but it will affect broad leaf plants. That means it’s a no-go for pretty much all our veggie garden areas, just in case.

If people are carving jack o’ lanterns, they may be too far gone Nov. 1 for livestock, but it might be worth a peek. Other decorations may include Indian corn and all those fancy/fugly gourds, though, and those are most likely still good for our critters.

Stash the gourds as long as possible if you have chickens. They can be valuable entertainment as well as fresh foods and the boosts of the mature seeds inside if the birds start developing cabin fever.

Goats can have those gourds smashed or split* and will munch them as well. Most domestic game birds aren’t really grazers, but they’ll happily poke through for the seeds.

*Indulge in fun here: Pop them up to entertain nephews with baseball bats or set up a backstop and lead catch for some target practice.

Corn can be ground or soaked for our critters. Or, we can hang it out piecemeal to keep our future-need squirrel farm going.

We could just drive around and scan for any hanging out of garbage bins, but consider leaving a short note ahead of time if you see those decorations.

“I noticed your lovely decorations, and was wondering what you plan to do with them after the season. I’ll pick them up if you plan to dispose of them,” can be fit on a business card or printed 8-12x on regular letter paper. (Sign it if you print it off – personalization can make a difference.)

If you don’t have a drop phone to give a number, create a generic email just for pop-up contacts. It doesn’t even have to reference preparedness, but it’s a good idea to have one (or twelve) for all kinds of networking.

After-Season Sales

The stores that sell that Indian corn and those gourds will usually drop their prices once they’ve been sitting out a while, and you may be able to ask a clerk when the display is coming down for an idea of when to see if they’ve just been tagged by a distributor/merchandiser and then pitched in a dumpster.

Somewhere approaching or just after Christmas those big bins of mixed nuts will also go on sale.

If you buy butter, your season, too, is coming. Hold out just a little longer and make some room in your freezer, because you may be able to find it for $2-$2.50 a pound again during the big baking seasons.

Finding candy on deep discounts even the day after is pretty rare where I am now, and even decorations and other goodies are getting harder to find with the fast swing between holiday promotions, but your area may be different and online you may find yourself a nice goldmine.

Of all places, Mill’s Fleet Farm has been a crazy good source for post-season sales and feeding somebody’s hard-to-find seasonal favorite for me.

Party supply stores like Oriental Trading Co. also regularly run free shipping promotions with no restrictions on order size and amount, and include discounted items. That runs from inexpensive and cheap (two different things) toys, ornaments, and activities as well as goodies to stash away in canning jars for a bad day.

I also sometimes see those goodies and the seasonal attire, decorations, tableware, candles/lamp oils, and activities at deep discounts in Tuesday Morning type second-chance stores the next week.

Consignment Shops & Classifieds

The change of seasons has a couple of benefits that will reach through to well after Christmas. Here in North America fishing and gardening season is winding down and suppliers sometimes have sales. We may not dive on those, but others do.

Those others sometimes recoup part of an upgrade by selling off their old gear, clothing to bows and reels, ATVs and boats to trailers and tree stands. That can net us supplies for pennies on the dollar.

We might hit flea markets and yard sales for some of those, but keeping an eye on local seller websites and doing quick cruises through Salvation Army, Goodwill, or thrift stores tends to be more productive (unless you just like people, want to get some extra exercise in, or have a dog to socialize – then, go for it all).

We can sometimes luck into really good gear donated solely because it didn’t fit anymore at the start of hunting season or really cold weather, or because a Christmas present led to making extra room.

I tend to keep an eye out specifically for the growing boys’ boots and hunting, camping, packing, and cold-weather gear, but it applies to regular street clothes as well. Some parents also have kids donate some portion of their old clothes and toys after the holiday bonanza, so it’s worth keeping an eye out if you have a little one or a particular interest.

(Thank you Walt!)

Leaves Fall Down

Leaves are a big boost for those of us who can snag them from our own yards and neighbors.

Trees have nice deep roots, see, and all kinds of lovely micro-nutrients end up in those leaves. That makes for a really excellent compost (leaf mold), whether we bag them, add them to heaps/tumblers, or use them as mulches.

We can mow over them with a bagger (or strategically placed tarp or trash can) to get a head start in breaking them down, and they will deliver those nutrients even faster. Chipping or mowing them also makes them even better for use in worm bins and trenches.

Leaves can also help us protect young trees and tender perennials from the coming cold season. Sometimes we can just pile them up. Other times we may want to build a string or mesh cage around larger plants to help keep the leaves exactly where we want them.

In our own yards, leave some strategic piles and light layers here and there. Lots of beneficial insects use them for protection as the weather shifts.

So do slugs, though, which means we have to be mindful of where we use leaves as mulch.

The slugs and bugs are a benefit if we want to make a pile for covering our poultry runs, though. Pretty much all birds are delighted to rifle through leaves (and other mulches) looking for yummy hideouts.

Pre-Pre-Pre-Black Friday & Cyber Week

You won’t get me into a shopping area starting mid-November and I see fewer and fewer online sales that are all that good, but if you need to make a big-ticket purchase, it may be worth making an appearance on the Day(s) of Craze.

Maybe it’s a chipper-shredder to take more advantage of autumn pruning around the home, or maybe it’s the year you’re taking the plunge into solar or a generator. It might be as little as a couple of gas cans using the Harbor Freight coupon, or stocking up on pet food from Tractor Supply. Whatever it is, big or small, sometimes you can really make that trip into madness pay off.

Just stay extra alert for exhausted, drunk, and hungover people rushing to save money on the roads and in the lots.

You can also go out later on Black Friday afternoon. I got dragged out once about 10-12 years ago and it wasn’t as bad as I expected. Clerks look like they’re war-zone evacuees, it’s badly picked over, but the stupidity has largely died down to average weekend if not even weekday afternoon activity levels. Anecdotal evidence suggests it’s still so. (It’s apparently also still a really bad time to go to the movies, though.)

For online shopping, start tracking the price of things you might be interested in, from that low-price air gun to the new computer or mattress. Don’t hesitate to ask here and on subject-matter forums what others have paid.

Especially if it’s going on credit or a budget is tight, what seems like a great sale might not be.

If we know it’s only a difference of X or has hit that level six times previously in the last eighteen months, we can better prioritize if it’s worth the interest or hit to savings, or if we’ll be better served waiting a bit. Autumn has too much to offer for free and discount to blow budgets or get deeper in debt unnecessarily.

Follow The Prepper Journal on Facebook!

The post Taking Advantage of Autumn appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag