#I could write a dissertation but I’ll refrain
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Hyperfixation me has see Dinner in America close to 40 times, so here’s some observations and notes that I’ve made:
🎤Patty and Simon both have the attached earlobe recessive gene
💊I had to look up what Sanka was- it’s instant decaf coffee. No wonder it tastes like shit
💌 No one mentions Chomby when the pair comes home from the arcade, nor acknowledges its existence in any way, which makes that scene so much funnier in context. They’re so high that after a day of job hunting, you just come home with a giant bear!?
🚔I also love that you see the pan of brownies on the coffee table when Connie and Norm are on the couch and they’ve very clearly put a dent in them (that entire scene, I could write a novel but I won’t!!!!) *deep breath cuz I’m being weird again*
🏀 You’ll notice as the movie progresses that when Patty asks Simon a question, he repeats her question in a “yes, ____” way. For example, when Patty says, “are we going on our date now?” Simon says, “yeah, we’re going on our date now.” I find this to be a really endearing and complex detail, considering when everyone else in the movie asks him a question, he usually says, “don’t worry about it”
🧸There is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it part where Kyle looks right at the camera when Simon walks out of the drug trial to light his broken cigarette
#dinner in america#simon dia#kyle gallner#emily skeggs#patty dia#this movie means everything to me#I have a note that’s probably an ocean long about this shit#I could write a dissertation but I’ll refrain#I’m very mentally ill
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Hi Laura💜 I just wanted to tell u that I fell in love with PG😭 I re-read it like 4 times already because the plot is soooo good, it’s really hard to find vamp au’s that aren’t predictable or too much like the existing movies/series🫶🏼💜
I also loved OTO so much😭 and I really really want to read ATO but my heart is too weak for jk, it’s like he and oc have been trough so much and I don’t think I’ll be able to get trough the story. But I know for a fact that it’s a good one bc you write it 🫶🏼🫶🏼
Annnnd SWM it’s so cute and fluffy 🥺💜(usually I don’t like kids/pregnancy in fics) but the way you plotted it.. idk it made my heart melt🥺💜💜💜
And thanks to you I’m hooked with gym bunny, I love it!! Thank you for mentioning it lol
Anyways I’m kind of a silent reader (sometimes I comment on the chapters) but I just wanted you to know that I love your stories and the way you write them!💜 when I want to unplug from the world and just relax, your blog is it for me! Thank you for such good fics (and the smut too omg love u❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥) sorry for this long ass ask but I wanted you to know that I really appreciate you and your stories💜💜 have a lovely day!💜🫶🏼
hello thank you so much for messaging!!!!! this is so sweet :( thank you so much! i’m so glad you’re enjoying pi gasu!!! it’s definitely consuming my every thought recently because if u didn’t know i’m basically in love with vampy jungkook 😭🔫
thank you for reading oto and swm too!!! this is so sweet!!!! oto is my baby and my first fic since coming off hiatus so while i’m not entirely thrilled with the writing style it holds a very special place in my heart 🥹 if you’re not listening to @kpoppillowtalk ‘s oto series podcast you definitely should!! it’s super interesting and low-key very addicting to hear the hosts reactions (the tiny gasps and mental breakdowns make me LIVE) to the different plot points!! it’s so good i have a lot of love for millie & nads and tbh i could write a whole ass dissertation on how great this podcast is but i’ll refrain 😂 podcast link is now on the oto masterlist!
as for ato… sis don’t read it 😭 not if you don’t want to! it’s a lot, there’s a lot to process, the characters have taken a turn, the angst is through the roof. i’m genuinely not offended by you putting yourself first and not reading if it’s not something you can handle, i totally get it!
gym bunny is soooo soft and lovely and ugh i just love it @bebejungkook is doing a fabulous job with it and deserves all the readers in the world!!!!! (she also secured me a jungkook photofolio since weverse HATES the uk 😠 extra love to her she’s a fabulous person through and through!!!) i’m so glad you found her writing!!
never apologise for sending a longer ask, never. i love talking to you guys and this is so flattering and just so wholesome to read. i’m glad you find a safe space on my blog, there really is no bigger compliment in the world!! thank you for taking the time to read and message, i hope to see more of u in my inbox!! (no pressure ofc) i hope you’re having a great day because this message made mine a whole lot better. thank u darling 💜💜💜
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#25 Drowning (in Paperwork).
Prompt: You overhear Spencer defending after someone calls you stupid / lazy.
Category: Angst / Comfort
Content Warning: None
A/N: Sorry that I have been gone so long. Grad school has been as busy as I imagined it would be. I’m almost free however and will hopefully post often over the break. This piece has been sitting idle for months so here is it. This is a collaboration with @imagining-in-the-margins who came up with the idea for the story. They have some awesome CM content, so I highly recommend their blog.
Word Count: 2K
List with all stories
Y/n = your name
Y/l/n = your last name
_Y/n_ was currently slumped over her desk asleep. The bullpen was mostly empty at the moment because most of the members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit were out grabbing their lunch from the breakroom or getting food from the many take out joints near the FBI compound. Agent y/l/n_ had planned on shot gunning a cup of coffee and continuing her paperwork over their most recent successful case. The unsub, Keith Drivesdale, had ended the whole situation very dramatically with a seven mile footrace in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Tennessee. Mr. Drivesdale had been kidnapping young female hikers on the Appalachian Trail, assaulting them, and then dumping the bodies across state lines on the trail. Drivesdale had been repeating the same pattern for four months until the authorities in Georgia, Tennessee, Virginia, and Pennsylvania had the sense to contact the other states sheriff stations to see if there was a pattern in the type of killings that were happening on their portion of the trail. By that time the unsub had killed eleven young women. The man hunt had concluded with twenty five sheriffs, five helicopters searching for the last victim from above, and _y/n_ and Morgan tracking down the man on foot. When they had found his trailer, Keith had not attempted to injure Kelly Browning, his last victim. Morgan stayed with the hiker until Jason and Emily came to take her to the hospital. Meanwhile agent _y/l/n_ had run after Drivesdale. The unsub finally tired enough to make a bad decision in his choice of trail to attempt escape on. The man had run himself onto a lookout with a high drop. _Y/n_ had her gun pulled out and said, “Mr. Drivesdales there’s no place to go. Give this up.” Keith pulled out a pistol from his belt and said, “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I really couldn’t.” The man quickly put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. His body wracked with the impact of the bullet, and the unsub fell back off the lookout, and into the river below. A second later Derek rushed into the clearing. The other agent was afraid that the unsub had hurt _y/l/n_. With the accelerating chase over, and the case solved the team piled into the jet and returned to D.C.
It was the following day after the case and the paperwork was due by the end of the workday. Derek and Spencer entered the bullpen. Morgan walked up to _y/n_ desk and pulled The Decameron out from under the sleeping agents folded arms. Surprisingly this movement didn’t stir the sleeping woman. After a few minutes of standing over _y/n_ Derek gently patted her shoulder. The female agent jerked awake, and gripped the sides of her desk. Morgan startled a little at the sharp movement, and said, “Hey, are you alright _y/n_? After rubbing her palm over her eyes and replied, “I’m fine. I had a paper due last night and about a hundred pages of reading left before attending lecture tonight.” Spencer smiled and moved forward saying, “I’ve read The Decameron five times. If you want me to give you a summary of the pages you haven’t read yet I’d be happy to.” _Y/n_ smiled at Reid. She knew that reading that much text was going to take longer than she had. Also, she never missed an opportunity to hear Spencer flex his extensive knowledge. Therefore she replied, “That sounds great. I’ll treat you to some good coffee. You talk and I take notes. If that seems like an equal exchange to you.” Spencer smiled, trilled at the idea of getting to spend time with _y/n_. Derek could see Reid’s excitement, but refrained from saying anything about it in front of agent _y/l/n_. After an awkward moment of silence the standing agents moved toward their respective desks and started working on their own paperwork.
After another three hours _y/n_ startled awake again. She internally berated herself for only getting an hour of sleep last night. Unfortunately editing a ten page paper took longer than she had anticipated. The paper was 15% of her final grade in one of the three graduate classes she was taking at Georgetown University. She looked up at the clock and was thankful that she had only been out for ten minutes. She was longing for the day to end, and to spend an hour or two with Spencer. Speaking of the young genius, she couldn’t see him anywhere in the brightly lit desk area. She also noticed that one of her thicker, unfinished files was apparently missing. She took the approach she always did when something strange happened near her; get a cup of coffee and figure it out after the caffeine hit her. She pushed her chair out from her desk and moved toward the break room. As she approached the small coffee area that was separated from the rest of the breakroom by a wall and door on the far right that led to the coffee she craved, she heard her name brought up. The voice sounded slightly like, ‘Dave, Devin, David’ she couldn’t really remember his name at the moment. He was a new quantitative technician that made sure all the servers were up and running as they should be. He often was in the bullpen in a desperate grasp to get into Penelope's good graces. From what she heard from Garcia was that the computer analyst hated the new guy's guts. “He thinks he is so smart, smarter than everyone else, even me,” the computer genius had once told _y/n_ over drinks. _y/l/n_ stopped and waited to see if the man had something else to say and wondered who in the world he was talking to. It’s not like this Dave guy knew her at all. It only took a moment before he heard his voice again, “So did she ask you to work on her files?” After a second _y/n_ heard a voice she definitely knew, Spencer's. He replied to the comment, “No, I just wanted to help.” There was a scoff from Dave and he replied, “Well I wouldn’t put it past her to ask you to do extra work for her. She’s such a lazy person.” This type of talk shouldn’t have gotten to her, she had heard worse. But hearing some egocentric man who didn’t even know her talk about her behind her back hurt in a way she hadn’t expected. What hurt her more was what Spencer said next, “How is she lazy?” _Y/n_ sucked in a breath and tried to stop the warm tears from rolling down her face. She had been doubted by cops, by teachers in the academy, by her own family that she wasn’t capable of doing this job. She didn’t expect to find her own team doubting her. Especially not Spencer. From the way he asked it sounded like he was trying to get more information about how she just wasn’t good enough. She wanted to move away, but couldn’t move her legs, instead she slumped against the wall and heard Dave say, “She’s always asleep at her desk, she doesn’t do her work, I don’t know what she’s like in the field, but I bet it’s not great.” The silence after his statement was finished was deafening.
At least it was deafening until Spencer replied. On the other side of the wall Spencer was leaning against the counter as Devin made a rude remark about _y/n_. He furrowed his eyebrows and asked the middle aged man to elaborate. When the man replied he was just digging himself into a bigger hole. After Spence finished a swig of his coffee he cleared his throat and said, “Let me tell you something about _y/n_, first of all she performs excellently in the field. The case we just finished almost entirely was solved by her. Secondly, just because she’s new to the team doesn’t make her less valuable, in fact it makes her more valuable. She sees things in the cases and the team that we don’t. I hope that doesn’t change. Third, she’s not lazy or stupid, she’s pursuing an advanced degree in English Literature. She’s essentially condensing her master and PhD. into four years. I don’t see you reading three hundred pages a night of the literary canon plus secondary readings and trying to write a dissertation at the same time. Also, she's taking three classes this semester, which is a full load at Georgetown University. So don’t tell me that _y/n_ is lazy. She’s far from it. Also, maybe stop making observations about people you don’t know to a profiler, and especially to me.” With this Spencer brushed past the man and out into the breakroom. Spencer noticed _y/n_ leaning against the wall. Once he saw her it became exceedingly clear that she had overheard the conversation he just had with Devin. He walked quickly over to her and gently grabbed her elbow and led her away from the wall and the break room altogether. As the pair entered the hall Spencer quietly said, “I’m sorry you had to hear that in there.” After the duo entered the hallway and moved back toward the bullpen. Before they both entered the bullpen _y/n_ stopped Spencer by touching his arm lightly. The genius stopped and looked down at her. She gave him a small smile and bit her lower lip slightly before saying, “Thank you for defending me in there. It means a lot.” Spencer shook his head slightly, as if in shock, and replied, “You don’t have to thank me. That guy is an idiot and an asshole.” Reid’s word’s caused _y/l/n’s_ heart tug slightly, she smiled up at him and said, “So, are we still on for later today?” Spence smiled and nodded. With the conversation being finished for the moment he opened the glass door to the bullpen and held it for her.
An hour later _y/n_ was sipping on a warm chai latte and Spencer was going over the last fourth of Boccaccio’s plague narrative. It was raining outside, and the atmosphere in the coffee shop felt like it’s own cozy little bubble separated from the rest of the world. After Reid had finished his recap and _y/l/n_ had all her questions answered she looked up and said, “Spencer, um, I was wondering if you’d like to do this again sometime, but without the books and notetaking and all that?” The lanky agent shifted in his seat before responding, “You mean a date?” _Y/n_ smiled slightly uncomfortably, hoping she hadn’t crossed some kind of professional boundary with her colleague. She thought about her response and replied, “It doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be. I would like it if I didn’t have to have the excuse of studying to spend time with you. You’re a cool guy and I’d like to know you better if you were comfortable with it.” Reid couldn’t suppress the small smile that crossed his face briefly before saying, “Sure, I’d like that a lot.” _Y/n_ looked down at her notepad to hid the redness of her cheeks from Reid. It wasn’t anything yet, but she hoped with time she could tell Spence how she truly felt about him. She reminded her self of one of her favorite quotes, ‘all in good time my love.’
#dr. spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer x y/n#spencer x reader#derek morgan#cm#coffeeshop#spencer reid
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i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way)
me writing 5.6k in 4 hours and pretending my essays/presentation/exams/dissertation don’t exist? it’s more likely than you think
thank u jex for listening to me scream abt this for the past 4 hours and for always being the sweetest and most encouraging person in the world you are truly such a positive influence in my life
also this is based off a prompt i got i think in 2014 never say i don’t provide! i would link the post but honestly it’s just got my 16 year old self’s embarrassing screams on it so frankly i would rather not so instead i will provide you with a screenshot of the ask under the cut
[ao3]
-
“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window.
“The new PE teacher,” Michael says.
“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.
“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.
-
Michael Clifford loves his job.
Sure, the staff room politics can get a bit exhausting (although Michael would be lying if he didn’t admit to loving all the drama he wasn’t personally involved in), and the kids can drive him up the fucking wall, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing he’d rather be doing than teaching.
Except today. Today, when a good portion of 10C has somehow exploded into an argument over whether or not Julia snatched a guitar when Sam was about to take it, he thinks he’d rather be a human guinea pig for infectious diseases, or something. It probably pays better, anyway.
“Sam,” he says sternly, and he turns to look at Michael, anger written all over his face. “There are plenty of guitars in the cupboard. Let Julia have that one.”
“But sir, that’s the only one which-”
“I don’t care,” Michael says, holding up a hand, because he’s perfectly aware that it’s the only guitar which stays in tune longer than thirty seconds. He’s been begging for a budget increase since the day he joined the school. “It’s one lesson, it’s not an exam, you can deal with it for forty-five minutes.”
“But Mr Clifford-” Lucy pipes up, ready to defend Sam.
“No, Lucy,” he says firmly. “I want all of you in the practice rooms, now.” Sam glares at him furiously and stomps off without an instrument in his hands, Lucy and Pip running behind him to one of the practice rooms outside the main classroom. Michael decides he’s got enough on his plate without inserting himself into hormonally-charged teenage drama, so he lets them go, rounding on Noel and Olivia, who are still arguing with Julia, Brandon hovering awkwardly nearby.
“I don’t want to hear anything else about this,” Michael cuts in, and Noel and Olivia round on Michael instead.
“Sir, she stole it from-”
“He was about to pick it u-”
“I don’t want to spend my lunchtime in detention, and unless you two do I suggest you get your instruments and go to your practice rooms,” Michael says curtly, trying to refrain from pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He’s getting a stress-induced headache already, and it’s the first lesson of the day.
“Fine,” Olivia spits, full of the kind of melodrama only a fifteen-year-old can summon, and Michael tries not to roll his eyes as they stalk off to one of the practice rooms at the back of the classroom without so much as another glance in his direction. He’s pretty sure he hears one of them mutter fuck you under their breath as they walk away, and he feels momentarily bad before he remembers they’ll have forgotten about it by their next lesson.
“Don’t do it again,” is all he says tiredly to Julia, who nods meekly, and scampers off to join her group in one of the other practice rooms at the back of the classroom. That being sorted, Michael turns back to the rest of the class, to find about eight of the girls gathered at the window, chattering excitedly.
“That doesn’t look like composing a short piece on three instruments to me,” he says, wandering over, and a bunch of the girls look back at him with a look of excitement on their faces.
“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window and leaving a mark. Michael peers over their heads to see a distant figure standing on the field with a class that looks like it might be 7A. All he can make out is that it’s a guy, with what looks like a mess of dark brown hair and a couple of tattoos on his (very muscular, Michael notes with approval) arms that he’s waving around, clearly explaining something.
Michael vaguely remembers Paula, the headmistress, saying something about a new PE teacher starting this week, but he’d been too busy whisper-explaining to Luke why Magic: The Gathering was a great game and he should definitely play it with Michael to remember what she’d said the guy was called.
“The new PE teacher,” he says, hoping they won’t ask what he’s called.
“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.
“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.
Huh, he thinks, pushing himself away from the window and heading to the first practice room to make sure Noel, Olivia and Brandon have calmed down a bit. Sarah’s kind of right.
-------
Michael has a free period fourth period, and even if he usually wouldn’t be seen dead on the field, it’s a beautiful day, and it is on the route to the staff room. Well, it’s on a route to the staff room, at least, and if that route happens to be five minutes longer than simply walking through the building and over the quad, then Michael doesn’t need to know about it. He could do with the exercise, he tells himself. It’s nothing to do with the new PE teacher.
When Michael gets down to the field, the PE teacher’s gathering up the footballs from the previous lesson and stuffing them in the big netted bag that’s been threatening to break for about five years. He turns around after picking up the last one and spots Michael (who is definitely not staring) cutting across the top part of the field. He raises a hand, and Michael’s not really sure if he’s waving or telling him to get the fuck off the field, but then he’s gathering the bag in one hand and jogging over, and Michael’s absolutely not watching the lines of his muscles as he makes his way over.
“Hi!” the guy says, grinning widely, and fucking hell, he’s even hotter up close. He’s got dark brown eyes, crinkled at the corners with the brilliant smile currently gracing his full lips, and his dark hair is curled, falling into his face slightly. “I’m Calum. Calum Hood. I’m new.”
“I’m Michael Clifford,” Michael says. “I’m not.” He curses inwardly as soon as the words have left his lips - he should be legally restricted from talking to hot guys, honestly - but Calum laughs, laughs, and it’s not fake, if the twinkle in his eyes is anything to go by.
“I gathered,” he says. “So, what do you teach?”
“Music,” Michael says. “You’re PE?” Calum nods.
“Music’s my second, though,” he says.
“Oh?” Michael wants to die. Of course hot PE guy can teach Music, of all things. He was literally crafted by God to upset Michael.
“Yeah,” Calum says, with a smile. “I mean, I’m sure I’m nowhere near as good as you, but I play guitar, and a little piano. Bass is my real love, though.”
“Bass?” Michael says, trying his best not to imagine Calum’s long fingers flying across a fretboard.
“Yeah,” Calum says. “I played in a band, for a bit, but, y’know.” He gestures at himself. “Clearly didn’t work out.”
“That’s pretty fucking cool, though,” Michael says, genuinely impressed. “And hey, bassist to secondary school PE teacher is an upgrade.” Calum laughs.
“Fuck you, man,” he says, but he’s grinning, and Michael feels a warmth spreading from his toes to his cheeks. “Hey, are you heading to the staff room?” Michael nods. “Mind if I tag along? I’m still finding my way around.”
“Sure,” Michael says, shrugging and hoping it conceals the fact that he kind of wants to turn back to the safety of his music room and bang his head on the wall until he forgets someone as perfect as Calum Hood exists on the same planet as him.
“Sweet,” Calum says, beaming at him as he holds up the bag of footballs. “Let me just lock these in the shed and I’ll be right with you.”
Yeah, sweet, Michael thinks, as Calum turns on his heel and jogs away from Michael over to the tiny shed in the corner of the field which houses all the outdoor equipment. Not like Michael’s already head over heels in love, or anything.
Sweet.
-------
Calum’s officially introduced in the staff room at lunchtime on his first day, but Michael has lunch duty on a Monday so he misses it. Luke and Ashton tell him Calum’s a big hit in the staff room, “really charming, and have you seen his arms?”, which just puts Michael in a bad mood, because he now has competition.
It’s three days before Michael bumps into Calum again, in his free second period, which he’s spending catching up on all the marking that was due, like, two weeks ago and is still unfinished.
“Hey, Michael!” Calum says cheerfully, sitting down opposite Michael at the desk that he’s entirely covered with a careful class-organised system of marking. “Oh, shit, are you busy?”
“No,” Michael says immediately, because what’s his job compared to conversation with the hottest guy in Australia? “What’s up?” Calum shrugs.
“Just wanted a chat,” he says. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. You been hiding from me?” His eyes are twinkling as he says it, and it makes Michael’s stomach flip, because it’s pretty friendly for a guy he’s met once. If Michael were anyone else, he would say Calum might almost be flirting. Maybe Calum’s just like that, though. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything.
“Been catching up on marking,” Michael says, indicating all the papers on the desk. “I’m literally going to stop setting homework, I swear to God.”
“Can’t say I relate,” Calum says, with a grin. “Perks of being a PE teacher.”
“Yeah, but you have to deal with, like, concussions, and shit,” Michael says, capping his pen.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that,” Calum says breezily, and Michael snorts.
“Typical PE teacher,” he says. “I could have had my leg cut off and my PE teacher would have made me keep running.” Calum smirks.
“Well, you have another leg, don’t you?” he says, and laughs when Michael scowls. “I’m kidding. I’d let you do push ups instead.” Michael rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning.
“How generous,” he says. Calum grins back at him, and Michael’s heart does a fucking backwards somersault, or something ridiculous.
“That’s what you get for saying PE teacher is an upgrade from bassist,” he says.
“Hey, that’s just the natural order of things,” Michael says. “It’s not my fault bass is at the bottom of the musical food chain.”
“What’s music without the rhythm section?” Calum says, stretching, and Michael tries his best not to stare at the sliver of skin that’s exposed under his shirt.
“Acoustic?” Michael offers, and Calum huffs out a laugh, bringing his arms (and shirt, Michael thinks wistfully) back down.
“Fuck,” he says agreeably. “Guess my band could have carried on without me.”
“What kind of music did you play?” Michael asks. Calum shrugs.
“A bit of everything,” he says. “We started on All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, that kind of a thing, got more Radiohead and Tame Impala vibes as we went on.” Jesus Christ. Michael has literally died and gone to heaven, because there is absolutely no way a man this perfect exists anywhere other than in Michael’s imagination.
“Mate, I fucking love All Time Low,” Michael says, and a smile unfurls on Calum’s lips.
“Have you heard their new album?”
“Yeah,” Michael says. “Fuck, Monsters? What a fucking tune.”
“Right?” Calum says enthusiastically. “And Basement Noise?”
“Fucking sick,” Michael agrees.
“You’ve got good taste,” Calum says approvingly. Michael opens his mouth to say something - you’re just saying that to get in my pants is on the tip of his tongue - but he’s interrupted (or possibly saved from eternal embarrassment) by Ashton sitting down heavily next to him.
“Hey, Michael,” he says, throwing a dimpled smile in his direction. “Hey, Calum.”
“Hey, Ashton,” Calum says. “How’s the Year 10 clay project coming along?”
“Oh, you know,” Ashton says, leaning back in his seat and pushing his curls out of his face. “Two busts have been decapitated so far, so we’re doing pretty well, all things considered.”
“Nice,” Michael says approvingly.
“I know you’re talking about the decapitations, Mike, you don’t fool me,” Ashton says knowingly. Michael scowls.
“Was it Sam?” he asks, needing to know who to high-five in his next lesson.
“No, Noel,” Ashton says.
“10C? Short kid, really fucking fast?” Calum asks. Michael shrugs. How is Michael supposed to know how fast he is? It’s not like Noel’s Naruto running through the music room.
“Yeah,” Ashton says, because apparently Noel’s Naruto running through the art room.
“He’s really fucking good with a ball,” Calum says, and Michael bites back an awful innuendo with a lot of difficulty. Not in front of Ashton, he tells himself.
“He’s lacking a passion,” Ashton says. “He’s good at art, but he messes around too much.”
“Same with Music,” Michael says. “He’s got a temper on him, too.”
“Well, maybe I can get him to channel it into football,” Calum says seriously. “Kids need an outlet, and something they feel like they’re good at. He needs something to be proud of.”
Fuck, Michael thinks, as Ashton enthusiastically responds in kind, staring at Calum as he nods along to whatever Ashton’s saying with a thoughtful frown. He’s definitely in love.
-------
Calum and Michael fall into a bit of a routine.
They don’t share a lot of free periods together, only the fourth on Monday and second on Thursday, but Michael will wait at the corner of the field for Calum to finish clearing up after his last lesson and they’ll walk to the staff room together, sitting and chatting shit for an hour about nothing in particular.
Michael learns that Calum’s got a sister, Mali, who’s in the music industry and whom he’s incredibly proud of, and that he’s half-Kiwi, half-Scottish, and grew up in western Sydney, not too far from Michael. He learns that Calum loves dogs more than he loves either bass or football, loves his dog (Duke) more than he loves anything else on the planet, likes playing Fifa and eating ice cream, and that his biggest fear is not having an impact on the world. He learns that Calum genuinely loves teaching, that Noel’s finding his feet with football and he’s really enjoying it, and that Calum almost went professional with football.
(“Is there anything you aren’t fucking talented at?” Michael says grumpily, when Calum tells him that. Calum laughs.
“Asking cute boys out,” he says, throwing Michael a grin, and Michael’s stomach flips.)
And so he also learns that Calum’s gay, and that he’s been single his whole life.
(“Are you serious? Michael says incredulously. Calum shrugs.
“I’m not a blushing virgin, Michael,” he says, seeing the look on Michael’s face, and Michael scowls.
“I didn’t say you were,” Michael says sullenly, but he’s secretly more than a little jealous of these nameless, faceless boys that have had the honour of fucking Calum Hood.)
Of course, Michael’s not the only one in the school to notice Calum.
A majority of the girls, and a good number of the boys, sing Calum’s praises to Michael every opportunity they get. He hears them talking in the corridors when Calum breezes past, smiling at them but eyes lighting up when he brushes past Michael (which Michael tries desperately not to think about when he’s staring out of the window daydreaming in the middle of a lesson). The staff are no better, either - Brenda and Caroline have been gossiping about Calum’s muscles so loudly that Michael only half-jokingly threatened to file a sexual harassment suit against them on his behalf.
One thing that having an incredibly hot PE teacher has done wonders for, though, is school morale.
It’s the only reason Michael’s standing at the corner of a wet field on a freezing May afternoon, wrapped in a thick coat and scarf and somehow still shivering, huddled between Luke and Ashton, whom he’d bribed-slash-threatened to join him because he didn’t want to be too obvious about it.
(“Mike, I don’t think you could be less obvious about being in love with Calum if you tried,” Luke had said, rolling his eyes, but then Michael had pulled out his trump card - he’d give Luke his coveted spot in the corner of the staff room - and Luke had agreed to go.)
“I fucking hate you,” Luke mumbles into the scarf currently covering a good half of his face. “I’m so fucking cold. This is not worth it to get you laid.”
“Fuck you,” Michael says automatically, eyes on Calum. He’s shouting encouragement and tactics at the Year 12 football team - not that Michael can hear it above the cheers and boos from the rest of the school and their opposition - but he looks so fucking good, brow creased as he focuses on the game.
“Are there usually this many people at football games?” Ashton asks, looking around in wonder. “There aren’t, are there?”
“How d’you expect us to know?” Luke asks, exasperated. “We’re not usually at football games either.”
“We’re being good friends,” Ashton tells Luke, a little sternly, and Luke huffs, but doesn’t say anything else.
Their team scores, and the crowd erupts into cheers, because it’s now only two minutes until the end of the game and they’re two-one up, so it’s unlikely the result will change. Calum still looks determined, though, muttering something to Ben, the Year 12 captain, who nods and jogs back across the bitch to prepare for the kick-off.
“I hate this,” Luke whines after a minute, because that’s apparently as long as he can keep quiet without reminding everyone how miserable he is. “This is why I’m a Maths teacher.”
“Shut up,” Michael says, and then the final whistle blows and Calum’s face is finally relaxing, tension dissipating from his posture as he cheers with the rest of the crowd.
“Calum looks really good tonight,” Ashton says, sending a glance in Michael’s direction.
“Alright, fuck me, I guess,” Luke grumbles. Ashton rolls his eyes.
“You’re such a fucking bitch sometimes,” he says, but he looks around furtively before snaking his arm around Luke’s waist and giving it a quick squeeze.
“Everyone knows you’re fucking,” Michael comments, still staring at Calum. “You don’t have to be sly about it.”
“No they don’t,” Luke says, leaning into Ashton’s touch.
“Yes, they do,” Michael says, and then he forgets what he was going to say next because Calum makes eye contact with him from across the pitch and gives him a huge grin, and Michael’s stomach bottoms out. “Fuck, he’s grinning at me.”
“Well, grin back, idiot,” Ashton says, so Michael does. Calum holds his gaze for a moment, and then turns back to his team, leaving Michael feeling a little unsteady.
“I’m in love,” he declares, for the nintieth time that week.
“We know,” Luke says grumpily.
-------
Michael’s halfway through marking 8A’s elements of music test when there’s a knock at the door. He looks up, expecting to see Luke or Ashton, not Calum. He looks out of place in his football kit in the music room, and Michael’s brain short-circuits as it tries to reconcile a hot man in Michael’s music room.
“Hey,” he says, sticking his head around the door. “Am I disturbing you?”
“No,” Michael says, because Calum could walk in on him taking a shit and wouldn’t be disturbing him. “What’s up?” Calum steps into the room, clicking the door shut behind him, and throws himself down on a seat opposite Michael’s desk.
“So,” he says. “You know All Time Low are here next weekend?” Michael nods. He’s planning on going with Luke and Ashton. “I might have got two tickets to Sunday night.”
“That’s sick,” Michael enthuses. “Who are you going with?” Calum throws Michael an odd look, somewhere between exasperation and amusement.
“Well, I was hoping you’d want to come?” he says. Michael blinks.
“Me?” he says.
“Yeah,” Calum says, and there’s definitely a hint of amusement in his tone now.
“I, uh.” Michael’s not really sure how to speak without saying yes, please, and please let me suck your dick while I’m at it. He swallows, hoping it’ll make the words disappear from the tip of his tongue. “I’d fucking love to.” Calum grins, looking relieved, and Michael realises that he must have been nervous . Something about that sends a thrill coursing through his veins - he’d made Calum nervous, somehow.
“Sweet,” he says happily. “Text me your address? I’ll pick you up at five.” Michael just nods, not really trusting himself to speak, and Calum pulls himself up out of the chair, throwing him one last smile before he leaves the room.
Fuck, Michael thinks, as the door swings shut behind Calum, pulling his phone out to Google how to fall out of love with a colleague.
(It doesn’t help him at all.)
-------
Next Sunday comes around faster than Michael had expected, given how much he’s been thinking about it.
Luke and Ashton had been a little incensed when he’d told them he was no longer going with them but with Calum.
(“What?” Luke had said crossly. “Michael, you already bought your ticket.”
“Yeah, but it’s a choice between third-wheeling you or one-on-one time with the love of my life,” Michael says dramatically. “What do you expect me to choose?”)
At five to five, Michael’s sat in his living room, leg jiggling nervously as he checks his phone every two milliseconds just in case he’s somehow missed a notification from Calum in the time it’s taken him to blink.
Calum, though, doesn’t even text to say he’s arrived, just rings the doorbell at five on the dot, scaring Michael shitless.
“Hi,” Calum says, smiling, when Michael opens the door. He’s wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt and straight-leg blue jeans, which should look incredibly nineties and not good at all, but somehow makes Michael want to drop to his knees right there and then. Although, he supposes, that’s what Michael wants to do regardless of what Calum is wearing, so it’s probably nothing to do with that. “You look gorgeous.” Michael has to bite his cheek to check whether he’s still alive and not, like, ascended to heaven.
“Thanks,” Michael mumbles when his mouth floods with pain and it becomes clear that yes, he is actually still alive, feeling heat rise to his cheeks from the sheer intimacy of this moment with a colleague-slash-friend-slash-soulmate-but-he-doesn’t-know-it. He’s so used to seeing Calum in the context of school that it feels strange to see him in normal clothes, standing on Michael’s doorstep.
“Are you ready, or, like, d’you want me to stand here all evening?” Calum says after a moment, and Michael steps out of the house with a scowl.
“Fuck you,” he says, trailing behind Calum as they walk to his car.
“Maybe if you’re lucky,” Calum says, and Michael chokes on his next breath. Calum, however, doesn’t seem to notice, as he’s getting into the car and starting the engine. Michael takes the opportunity to splutter for a second, re-learning how to breathe for the first time in twenty-five years, and takes a deep breath before getting in the passenger side of the car.
“What d’you reckon’s going to be on the set list?” Calum asks, reversing out of Michael’s driveway and setting off down the street. Michael hums in consideration.
“Aside from the obvious?” he says.
“No, Michael, tell me that Dear Maria’s going to be on the set list,” Calum says sarcastically. Michael scowls.
“I’d punch you if you weren’t driving,” he tells Calum, and Michael sees him grin in the dim light.
“I’ve found my shield,” Calum says, running a stop sign. Michael squawks as they swerve into the road, grabbing onto the handle on the door. Calum rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, I’ve seen how you drive.”
“Fuck off,” Michael says, scowling, but he can’t deny it. Speed is more important than safety, is his motto - mainly because he always sets off at least ten minutes late.
“So?” Calum prompts. “Set list?”
“I hope Monsters,” Michael says. “But honestly? I’d love some of the older stuff on there too.”
“Yeah, I miss Stella being on the set list,” Calum says wistfully.
“You saw them when Stella was on the set list?”
“Yeah,” Calum says, a tad smug, and okay, fuck him.
“Fuck,” Michael says, and he can’t even disguise the envy in his voice. Calum just laughs, throwing Michael a glance, and his eyes are glittering in the sunset, making Michael’s heart hurt a little bit. “You don’t deserve that.”
“Hey,” Calum says, aiming for affronted, but he’s still grinning. “Don’t antagonise the driver.”
“I can antagonise you all I want,” Michael says. “You’re not going to kill us on the way to an All Time Low gig.”
“Might kill us on the way back, though,” Calum points out.
“Yeah, well, I can probably die happy, then,” Michael says, with a shrug.
“True,” Calum agrees. “Good music, pretty boy in the passenger seat, what more could you want?”
“Exactly,” Michael says emphatically, and it takes him until Calum’s started talking about the merits of Nothing Personal as compared to Don’t Panic to realise what Calum had just said.
Michael’s in the passenger seat.
-------
The show, as expected, is amazing.
Michael’s seen All Time Low, like, five times now, and they never fail to disappoint. He voices as such to Calum on the way home, running on a high of adrenaline and having seen Calum jumping in the pit, screaming the lyrics to every single song, which had only made Michael’s whole being-in-love-with-the-hot-PE-teacher situation a little more difficult to handle.
“Right?” Calum enthuses, speeding along the almost-empty highway. “I’ve heard it so many times, but Therapy live just hits different.”
“God, I know,” Michael groans, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, letting the memory flash in front of his eyes. “I actually heard the full band version live, once.”
“Yeah?” Calum asks, a tinge of envy in his voice. Michael savours the moment.
“Yeah,” he says, a touch smugly. “It was fucking sick.”
“I can imagine,” Calum says. “I told Alex that they should play it like that tonight, but-”
“Hang on,” Michael says, cutting Calum off, because he cannot be understanding this correctly. “Alex who?” Calum suddenly looks a little guilty.
“Uh,” he says.
“Alex who, Calum?”
“Gaskarth?” Calum offers after a moment, and Michael gapes at him.
“You know Alex Gaskarth?”
“Well, y’know, I used to be in a band, and we opened for All Time Low, and-”
“You opened for All Time Low?” Michael asks. Calum chews on his bottom lip.
“Yeah,” he says. “I’m- look, I’m sorry for not telling you, okay? I got the tickets through Alex, but I thought if I told you you might just want to go for them, like, you wouldn’t get it, and-”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you know All Time Low,” Michael huffs, sinking down in his seat. Calum throws him a worried look, so Michael adds: “I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” which makes Calum smile as he turns into Michael’s road.
“Fuck you,” he says, but the concern is fading from his face as he parks on the road by Michael’s house this time. They both get out of the car, and then Michael hovers awkwardly by the little path that leads to his house.
“You’re a traitor,” he says, when Calum rounds the corner of his car and comes to stand opposite Michael. He’s lit up in the orange light of the streetlights, dark brown hair surrounded by a halo of amber, and Michael doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier sight in his life.
“I had to make sure you were coming for me,” Calum protests, a smile playing at his lips. Michael blinks at him.
“What do you mean?” he says, nonplussed.
“Well, y’know,” Calum says, shrugging.
“I don’t know,” Michael says. Calum looks at him oddly.
“Wait,” he says. “You...you know this was a date, right?” Michael gapes at him.
“Are you- wait, what?” Calum’s face falls, and he takes a step back, and no, no, no, that’s not what Michael wants. “Wait, no, I-”
“Fuck,” Calum says, laughing uncomfortably as he cards a hand through his hair. “I probably should have made it clearer, huh? I did say I was bad at asking out cute boys.”
“Me?” Michael’s voice is a good three octaves higher than usual. “You think I’m cute?” Calum smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Michael, I’ve been flirting with you since, like, the minute I saw you,” he says.
“You have?”
“Jesus Christ,” Calum mutters, and then seems to pull himself together. “Look, I’m sorry if I, like, overstepped, made things uncomfortable, whatever. I’m happy to keep it professional, and-” he cuts himself off when Michael laughs. “What?” he says, and it comes out snappy.
“Are you serious?” Michael says, and he’s grinning now, so much he thinks he probably looks a little creepy.
“You’re kind of being a dickhead, now, you know that?” Calum says, a little sharply.
“No, Calum, I- fucking hell,” Michael says, and a bubble of manic laughter escapes from him. “I’ve been kind of in love with you since, like, before we met.” Calum looks at him for a moment, expression unreadable
“Before we met?” Calum asks carefully.
“Yeah,” Michael says, nodding. “10C pointed you out, in first period, and I kind of stared at you for half the lesson.” Calum says nothing for a moment, just keeps looking at Michael, and it’s starting to get a little unnerving, when-
“Oh,” Calum says, and a small smile is creeping onto his face. “You- wait, so, like, I didn’t misread it? You do like me?”
“I mean, I did just say I was kind of in love with you, but sure, I like you," Michael says, and Calum grins, lit up by the streetlights and his happiness, and Michael thinks he’s found space in his heart that he didn’t even know he had since meeting Calum.
“So,” Calum says. “This was a date?”
“This was definitely a date,” Michael agrees, feeling his stomach flip pleasantly at the words.
“Would it be cliché to kiss you goodnight?” Calum asks, and Michael grins.
“Definitely,” he says, “but I’ll kill you if you don’t.” Calum grins back, and takes two steps forward to close the space between them, bringing a hand to Michael’s jaw and pressing his lips to Michael’s gently. It’s chaste, sweet, slow, languid, and Calum kisses like Michael’s the only thing that matters in the world. He smells like mint and pine and vanilla, pressed close to Michael’s chest, slipping an arm around Michael’s waist, and Michael groans into the kiss as he thinks about Calum’s long fingers splayed across the small of his back.
“Too much?” Calum asks, breaking away, and Michael shakes his head, pressing his forehead against Calum’s shoulder.
“Not enough,” he says, because he doesn’t think he’s ever going to get enough of Calum Hood. Calum pulls him in for a proper hug, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, and Michael’s glad Calum’s got strong arms because he feels like his knees are about to give in.
“Do you want to come in?” he mumbles against Calum’s shoulder.
“Is that a proposition?” Calum says, smile evident in his voice.
“Do you want it to be?”
“Maybe.” Michael swallows. Jesus Christ.
“Then it is.” Calum pulls back and looks at Michael, suddenly serious.
“Hey,” he says. “This isn’t- this isn’t just sex for me. I really like you, Michael. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I want something more with you.” Michael grins.
“Have I got to repeat the whole ‘kind of in love with you’ thing again?” he says, and Calum grins back.
“Alright,” he says, and Michael hears his car squeaking to indicate it’s locked. “You’re making the excuses when we turn up to school tomorrow, though.”
-------
A few students give them strange looks when they get out of Michael’s car in the morning.
“Is this seriously the sportiest thing you own?” Calum grumbles for the fiftieth time, picking at the green hoodie and black jogging bottoms that Michael had chucked at him that morning.
“Quit complaining,” Michael says, locking the car behind them and starting across the car park to the school. “Green’s your colour.”
“Oh, that’s why you picked it,” Calum says, jogging a little to catch up with Michael.
“Yeah,” Michael says with a grin, unashamed. Calum shakes his head, but he’s grinning too.
“I’d kiss you right now if I could,” he says, as they turn into the building.
“What’s stopping you?” Michael asks, as they make their way up the stairs to the staff room.
“Uh, code of conduct? The contract I signed when I joined the school?” Michael rolls his eyes as he pushes open the door to the staff room.
“Morning!” he chirps, heading straight for the desk Luke and Ashton are already sat at, Calum in his wake.
“Morning!” a few people in the room chorus over the general buzz of post-weekend chatter.
“Hey,” Luke says loudly, frowning. “Why’s Calum wearing your clothes?”
The room goes still, and Michael just grins.
#malum#lashton#5sos fic#5sos slash#5 seconds of summer fanfiction#bro the way i can just knock out 5.6k of fic in 4 hours but spend 3 hours reading a singular academic article#do i have a brain? debatable
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I have a question. Where are you from, and where did you lean those 4 languages? My experience and the studies I've seen in my multilingual European country are vastly different from what you're saying. Foreign kids can learn the 2 languages here in about a year, not adults ofc, but kids definitely can. And language mixing is very common when you're not equally fluent or the languages are from the same family. But I've never seen anyone mix two languages as different as English and Japanese.
[Continues] Also, Neil supposedly had full immersion and did go to school there. On the other hand Kevin learnt only from Jean who wasn’t allowed to use it. Which is very weird. It’s also easy to learn “mob” vocab from watching movies, it’s Kevin speaking great french is more fat fetched than Andrew remembering random words from movies. It’s not a medical term it’s a gopher. Lastly, Nora was lazy about it, but she did it the right way. “Simple” or “broken” translations aren’t ok, you have to translate well and then narrate that their language was hesitant, basic, broken or stuttered. Your own example shows that and that’s the general consensus and how it’s done. Don’t tell people to use bad/simple english to show that wtf are you an american halfway through a linguistics degree with bad teachers or what?
First of all, I really don’t appreciate the aggressive approach you used in this message, I would’ve preferred for you to have toned it down, but that’s okay. I’ll try to answer your concerns one step at a time.
I’m from Italy, Italy is not a multilingual country. So my assessment comes from a place of someone that is multilingual but achieved that on her own - I can see how that could be different from the experience of someone that was aided by their country’s institution. I learnt English by mostly self-studying it back when I was middle-school age (I took English in school but the level taught was very poor so I explored it deeply on my own). I took French for 8 years (middle school and high school, and again, worked on it on my own) and finally I started studying Japanese as my university major three years ago (I also spent 5 weeks in Japan to study it more extensively). I’d appreciate you not doubting any of this with the nerve you showcased.
Also, please consider that institutionalized learning of a language from an early age is deeply different from what any of the aftg characters are said to have been exposed to. I must have missed the passage where it’s stated that Neil frequented schools so I apologize for that. But once again, my point still stands: foreign kids can, in institutionalized settings and environments, learn languages easily (I never said they couldn’t? I even specified it!) but studies show that that “feat” slows down at 13+. Furthermore, it’s something that can happen when the environment the kids are put in is fit and ideal for that. Surely it won’t be the same as a kid like Neil, in a foreign country, with little to no parental help and support, constantly moving around, ie he’s not learning the language in the same place, with the same methods and surrounded by kids learning said language alongside him.
You might have never seen people mix English and Japanese, but I can assure you it happens much more frequently than you might guess. I’ve seen it and experienced it with my own two eyes. Every language can be mixed, just because to you it sounds difficult or impossible doesn’t mean it’s like that?
Yes, Kevin and Jean weren’t allowed to use French, but Neil himself recounts the many many times Jean spoke French to him during his couple-week stay at the Nest. Multiply that over years and years + Jean and Kevin were said to be really close, so I don’t know what your point here is? Kevin’s French will probably be extremely skewed and influenced by Jean’s, but that doesn’t limit his knowledge? It just makes it an almost perfect mirror of Jean’s own knowledge. Kids can learn languages from a single source (e.g. migrant kids who learn their parent’s language from them).
Also, my point wasn’t that the characters shouldn’t know mob vocab, it’s that everyone is depicted as having the same level of knowledge of that vocabulary without any question or problem arising. Really? No hinderance at all? Once again, my point is that every character in every situation seems to have a very proficient vocabulary with no problems or stutters, NOT that they have that vocabulary in the first place. Furthermore, I was trying to make a larger point that surpassed aftg’s narrative.
I’m in no way shape or form suggesting people should always use broken English (in fact, my example used none of that). I’m saying that simple sentence structures are preferred to convoluted ones. My biggest point focused on saying that the language’s usage should mimic the proficiency level. You can’t write a sentence in Shakespearean-like English and then say “said X, brokenly”. It’s not realistic and it throws off the mood. If you have a character that is supposed to have A1 level of X language you can’t have them speak like you’d give a dissertation and then brush it off with an adjective like “broken” “basic” etc. But then again, that’s my opinion.
Finally, I’m sorry my personal assessment got you so angry you had to end your message with that tasteless sentence. I’d be open to having a one on one conversation comparing our experiences without feeling completely under attack. But please, if you have to jump into my ask box with that level of scorn I ask that you refrain from replying to this from the get go. Maybe consider that we could have two different assessments of the same issue because we come from two different social-educational backgrounds and then reply to this.
Anyway, thank you for taking the time out of your day for sending these messages to me! They helped me in shaping an even more nuanced assessment of these issues, so thank you!
#ask me something?#writing ref#vedi te se mi devo far dare dell'americana da un anon maleducato#americana lo dici a qualcun altro
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