#I didn’t crop Luke out and y’all should thank me for that

[daydadahlias]

don’t mind me just thinking abt Ashton with his little tourist camera

[allhailthewicked]

Random JATP Headcannon: Reggie Pep-Talking Julie

 Disclaimer: Hey y’all there’s a lotta negative self-talk and body image stuff in this long and chonky puppy (like a dachshund). Am I just simply projecting in this headcannon? Si señores, señoras, y señoritas ...umm chile anyway so... on to the angst and fluff.

Julie is a bad bitch.

And we love that for her. But every bad bitch has a few weaknesses. Like popping balloons or falling for a ghost who died in 1995 or being afraid that you are going to lose everyone you’ve ever cared about. But there are days when Julie’s biggest weakness is her body. Then again Julie loves her body, she loves how her hair curls and how it frames her, and even though it can be a pain in the ass, she loves it. She also loves her smile and the gap between her teeth and how musical her laugh is. She loves how she can pull off a blazer and a dress and how her eyes sparkle in the sun. She loves how clear her skin is and her brows and her height and everything but some days she doesn't. But some days she looks in the mirror and cringes at what she sees.

Ha, it's funny to think that I can pull this off.

I'm too much of this and not enough that.

I don't really love how I look in this.

Maybe I should just change

These thoughts often seem to be swirling around in Julie's brain. But sadly those aren't the worse thoughts she has that award goes to thoughts like:

Luke would never fall for a lifer like you.

and

He’s way too good for you. Maybe you'll have better luck if you're prettier

Julie sighs flattening her crop top grabbing her sides before quickly opting to change into a longer looser shirt. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand shooting a text to Flynn.

Trouble #1💜: hey love! you free rn? i’m having a terrible bbd today and i need a distraction and a hug

Trouble #1💜: and maybe a good cry

Trouble #2💕: aww girlie i would love to but i’m in colorado at my aunt’s wedding reception

Trouble #1💜: oh shit. i’m sry i forgot.

Trouble #1💜: no thoughts head empty only body negativity

Trouble #1💜: how’s the wedding? did stacy cry when your aunt came down the aisle?

Trouble #2💕: don’t worry about it jules. a certain dead ghost boy has haunted your brain cells maybe you can go to him. i’m sure he’ll love the cuddles 😉😉😉

Trouble #2💕: stacy bawled btw but so did aunt hilda and dad pretended that he didn’t, but we all know he loves seeing hilda happy.

Trouble #2💕: it’s so fucking freezing. but the dress was absolutely gorgeous tho

Trouble #1💜: cuuuteee love that for them. well, i have to go guys maybe practice a song or two. but luke was kind of the one who started this. idk i’m just going to try and get through the day so i can rush back to my room and rewatch New Girl or something

Trouble #2💕: WHAT DID THAT BASTARD DO?!?!?!

Trouble #2💕: I WILL COME DOWN FROM COLORADO TO BEAT HIS ASS!!!

Trouble #1💜: He did nothing. I’m just overthinking ya know. Like I’m not worth it. He doesn’t need me. I don’t deserve him

Trouble #2💕: jules i’m going to be real with you. HONESTLY HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU!!!! but he does look at you like you’re his source of life so don’t let this dead, paler than wonder bread boy hurt you!!! he’s so lucky to have you in his life.

Trouble #2💕: you are a gorgeous girl!!!! stunning. an absolutely beautiful, smart, and amazing person!! everybody lights up when you walk into the room. but you know who lights up the most. mr. boo-berry music man simping cute bright dead eyes looking ass.

Trouble #2💕: but maybe you should talk to alex if you don’t believe me. sadly he seems like the himbo with the most emotional knowledge. so maybe talking to him will help. but promise me you’ll take care of yourself love

Trouble #1💜: I promise. flynn imma just wear a bigger sweatshirt and pretend that i’m okay instead of feeling like I want to wrap myself in a blanket. it’ll be all good. gtg bye love you :)

Trouble #2💕 : THAT’S NOT HEALTHY!!! but please do take care of yourself. i’ll be back soon and i’ll talk to you later💕.

Julie grabs an old Orphuem hoodie that belonged to her mom, slipping it on noticing how she still hasn’t quite grown into it. Walking past her mirror one more time Julie scrunches her nose not appreciating how her tight jeans look on her. In fact, she doesn’t like how her nose looks today. 

Fuck I hate when I feel like this. Maybe Flynn is right. I should probably talk to Alex and at least try to avoid Luke. He doesn’t need to see me like this.

Sighing, she makes her way over to the garage. She opens the door only to see Reggie intensely focused on playing the riff he was working on for their new song.

“Is Luke around? I need to snatch up Alex, but I don’t want him to see me and worry,” she asked, starting to giggle when he snapped out of his trace as a small yelp left his lip.

Reggie spotted Julie’s Orpheum hoodie not noticing how much his eyes widened.

Julie cocks her head at the gaping Reginald before realizing he was staring at her hoodie. “It was my mom’s,” Julie whispered as Reggie nodded along, “she used to work there in college. Mom and her best friend, my Tia Maria were waitresses there. But I’m getting distracted, is Alex here? I just really need to talk to him and his dumb emotional availability.” 

“Well, it’s Alex and Willie’s 6-month anniversary, so I hope he’s not around here. But he’s like at the beach with Willie being all mushy.”

“Oh wow, they’re so cute together! He’s definitely seemed so happy since he met him,” Julie said, truly proud of her drummer but not completely masking her disappointment of not having anyone to talk to.

“Yeah, he's more free now. Plus it gives me and Luke the opportunity to rag on him on how easily he flushes when Willie teases him. But you don’t need to worry about lover boy or your lover boy,” he says while waggling his eyebrows at her. 

Julie sadly laughs trying to hide her face from the boy. As Reggie seemingly oblivious continued “Luke is at his parents. He’s been going more often trying to find sneaky ways to leave his song. Some unpublished songs Julie. He has never done anything like that since you went to his parent’s house with him. The closure is cathartic for him,” he whispered, putting down his bass. “He loves seeing his mom’s face light up when she finds another song. But you seem down Julie, what’s wrong?”

“Oh it’s nothing Reggie don’t worry about it,” Reggie cocks an eyebrow at her with a concerned look on his face. Julie looked away sighing, putting on her hood before continuing on, “I’m just a little under the weather and just needed someone to talk to, but it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I will be fine in a few hours. But don’t worry, and please don’t tell Luke.”

“Well Julie you can talk to me,” Reggie pauses puts down his bass putting his hands behind his head, legs cross, frowning slightly, “Believe it or not I can be a little insightful but seriously Julie you’re like my little sister and I hate to see you like this.”

Reggie taps on the spot on the couch next to him motioning for Julie to sit down.

“I’m not going to force you to tell me anything but if you need someone to talk I here when you are ready,” And with that, Reggie picked up his bass and started to work on what seems like a new song.

Together they sit in this calming silence as Reggie starts to pluck away at this melody taking notes of what chord progressions work and what doesn’t while Julie quietly points at chords. This goes on for about five minutes until Julie finally says something.

“Fine okay you need to promise me that you won’t tell Luke because he’ll try and fix this, and he’ll probably make me feel worse,” Reggie quickly nods before putting his fist out giving her a promise fist bump. Julie wetly laughs at this before taking her hood off, running her hands through her hair.

“You know for years I’ve waked up and then immediately looked in the mirror and some days I loved what I see those days are good. I love how I look and how I feel, and I’m just happy. But some days I don’t... some days I look in the mirror and I just see every single flaw I have, and I just want to hide in my bed and not let anyone see me. Some days I feel like I don’t deserve you or Luke or Alex or Flynn or even my family. I just look into the mirror, and I’m like why would anyone stand to look at me. And you know today is one of those days. When Mami was alive she would call a day like today a BBD. It was a code for bad body day or day when we would just wear matching hoodies, cuddle, and binged movies without telling Dad what was wrong. But he understood, he understood that Mami would take care of it and that she understood what I was going through. We did it so often until she you know... that I don’t know how to tell my dad about it. Like him making me hot chocolate like he used to won’t make going away,”  Julie sighed wiping the quickly forming tears from her eyes. Julie turned away from the concerned, so he couldn’t see how close she is to completely breaking down.

Reggie wrap his fettuccine arms around Julie pulling her into a warm hug that smelled like the lemon-lavender bath and body works body wash she bought him for the shower in the garage. The was comforting which led to Julie letting her guard down, shoulders shaking as she heavily sobbed into her undead friend’s shoulder as he rubbed her back. After she was seemingly cried out she looked up at Reggie, who looked wide eyed at her.

“I’m sorry I snotted all over your flannel. God that’s so disgusting. I’m just going to go to bed and just mope and watch Netflix. Thank for being a shoulder I could lean on. I’m sorry that I was just being annoying,” Julie whispered as she tried to wipe away the snot only to make a bigger mess.

"Hey hey hey it's okay Julie I can just wash it or like blame it on ghost ectoplasm. Julie do we leak ectoplasm?"

Julie laughed wetly as Reggie frantically looked to see if he was oozing before realizing that he was getting distracted. She quickly noticed the major shift in demeanor change as he seriously looked at her.

"Julie you are beautiful and I know that you don't feel like that now but you will eventually. And I know that you don't want me to fix you and I won't because I can't. And I know you might want to try to impress Luke with how you look or just think that your looks are all that Luke that think about, but I am his best friend and I know that he would be head over fucking heels gone for you. Even if you look like whatever a Jar-Jar looks like he would see you as the light of his world. He is in love with you and your soul and you deserve that love. But you deserve self love even more. Julie you are not a thing to be looked at then judged. You are a person with feelings and  personality and a story, a story to tell. Your body looks the way it does because of all the things you've experienced in life. Julie I know this all may sound meaningless coming from me but you are literally one of the strongest people I know and I know you can through. You will not be less strong if you reach out for help. You might be my favorite Molina but talking to Ray is smarter than you think and he can help. I just hate seeing my sister hurt like this," Reggie said before yelping as he noticed that Julie had started to bawl again.

"Wait Julie no I'm sorry. Was that too much. God I know you said I shouldn't try to fix things. I should've kept my dumb mouth closed and not bring up Ray. I'm sorry Julie don't cry," Reggie rambled nervously rubbing her back

“No no no no Reggie you didn’t say too much. You just shocked me honestly but like in a good way. I mean I can’t say that I will believe everything you said. But thank you Reg. Thank you I am so glad that you are in my life. You’re my favorite Peters and you are much smarter than other people give you credit for,” Julie says laughing at Reggie’s bright smile.

“I mean need them to underestimate me sometimes. But let’s watch something together to at least make your BBD a little better.”

Julie smilies quickly nodding before putting on the first episode of the Mandalorian and snuggling close to the older brother that she never had. 

Julie felt okay to say the least for the next couple of weeks her next BBD hit her. Julie sighed pushing herself off the bed looking in the mirror that is covered in encouraging notes from her Dad, Reggie, and Flynn. She sighed about to leave her room to go talk to her Dad again about what was going on before she notice a hoodie on the bed. It was a fleece lined hoodie that was left on her bed folded her bed saying ‘Uke I’m your father’ on it. 

Reggie Julie sighed shaking her head smiling as she picked up the little note that was left with it 

‘I knew that you said that you and mom had matching hoodies for your BBD’s so here’s one that we can wear together. I mean only if you want to I know it was something you and your mom did so I don’t want to butt in on a tradition. But it could be like a signal that you’re having a BBD. I don’t know it might be stupid but I hope you like it.’

Julie smiles at the slight awkwardness of the note before slipping on the hoodie

A/N: HEY IT’S ME AGAIN WITH THE ANGST FOR THE SECOND TIME IN LESS THAN A WEEK!!! Idk what it is but every time I write something for this fandom it turns into angst. Am I sadist? Ehhh wouldn’t be surprised but idk I think I went through something writing this lol. Also I��m sorry if some the dialouge is cringe I’m tired and I really wanted to post befire I got distracted. Anyway please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist down below by either replying to this post, reblogging this post, or sending me an ask! I would appreciate reblogs and feedback because I love reading your guy's comments and tags they seriously make my day!!! but it's fine if you don't want to :)

~✨My Taglist Isn’t Under the Cut Tonight Lol✨~

@poppin-peters, @sunset-bobby, @theobligatedklutz, @soupforfree, @iamthefryiestfrench-blog, @fiddlepickdouglas, @gay-ghosts-committing-crimes

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#36)

5x13, the series finale i have heard nothing but good things about - I made it y’all! *wipes tear* this is a show i will definitely rewatch! It definitely feels like the kind of show that’s so layered that every time you go back you’ll pick up something new. I love shows like that.

i haven’t been on tumblr on my computer in a long time but im gonna go through and add “read more”s to all of these recaps! 

(thanks to anyone who read these nonsense recaps! if you enjoyed these...in addition to my currently-on-hiatus riverdale podcast @bodysuitsforbughead, I have another teen drama-centered podcast in the works, follow @LeftyTeenDrama on Twitter and @leftistteendrama on Instagram to get updates when it launches! I’m taking a break on working on it till i move but it’s gonna be a big part of my 2021 projects. I’ve already recorded one episode with two of my favorite people in the world and it’s gonna be amazing. It will be about a variety of teen dramas, but FNL will definitely be included.)

and without further ado, my final FNL ramblings under the cut:

And we open with one last montage of shots around Dillon from a car, with a “Christmas in Texas” song playing. Amazing. 

Oh wow, I love the “FIVE DAYS TILL THE CHAMPIONSHIP” vibe. The build-up is already here. A shot of Julie in the stands watching practice! 

It’s super uncomfortable that people are talking to Vince about his “future teammates” on the Panthers before the post-season is even over.  “I don’t really wanan talk about that. I want to talk about how the East Dillon Lions are gonna win State.” “Is that a promise?” These Texas sports journalists are WILD. this is a teenage boy whose school’s funding just got cut right before the biggest game of his life! Can we have some sympathy?!

“I hear they’re taking the cream of the crop for the Superteam so I’m gonna be honest with you, what are you gonna do?” EXCUSE ME SIR? I repeat, TEENAGE BOY. Tinker’s response of “you’re an asshole” and storming away was more than appropriate!!!

“No comment”ing his way out of there like a champ.

Ah, the age-old tradition of decorating a Christmas tree while arguing about a five-year football coach contract in Dillon or a dean of admissions job offer at a prestigious Philadelphia college. Julie’s just sitting there with Gracie like ooooh boy 

“Here is where we put our tree, not Philadelphia! It’s a Texas tree.” OMG STOP IT. Lol Julie putting her hands over her ears.

YAY MATT SARACEN IS AT THE DOOOOORRRRR im so excited

Wow I did not expect this proposal to come that quickly into the episode! Like i knew it was coming in this episode but aw. They’re so soft! Just like, oh i’ve been thinking about you nonstop since our perfect Chicago tryst and oh look here’s grandma’s ring let me casually get down on one knee in the town where we fell in love. And after she was just talking about how much she misses Matt to Tyra the episode before? That “yes” she gave feels so certain because of it. Aw.

The grandma’s ring really fucks me up because you know how close Julie and Grandma Saracen have gotten over the years. My heart!

“Oh my God, your dad must’ve flipped.” “...What do you mean?” OH NO Eric Taylor is totally the type to care. “...When you asked him to marry me.” Oh I knew this proposal was too early in the episode, im dying!

“You need to go man to man.” Ugh Julie i liked Matt’s plan of just going and telling them much better. His look of fear when he repeats “man to man.” dead. 

Wow no theme song??? That’s how you know it’s gonna be a long series finale!

Andddd here we are, a bickering Riggins “I may or may not be going to Alaska.” “Is it because you raw dogged Tyra last night?” i literally gasped.

LMAO Mindy trying to say Tim and Tyra are incest now that Mindy and Billy are married and then Tim and Billy immediately being like “nope, no blood lines, that’s not how incest works.” Someone should send that memo to all those anti bughead stans about bughead and falice

“What do you think about me taking Stevie for the day?” “I’m fine with that. There’s no going back, I’m going to get the bag.” LOL Mindy spoken like a true parent also YES to Tim and Stevie spending time together.

Poor Jess not realizing that asking Eric if she can follow him to the Panthers is a much bigger question than she thinks se’s asking.

AWW Tim and Stevie at Grandma Collette’s. How cute. 

“Seven’s back in town?” “Yeah, he and Julie got engaged!” 

Tim/Tyra and Matt/Julie double date?? Aw I love that Tyra knows that Matt and Julie got engaged. I really love Tyra and Julie’s friendship. 

I’m laughing really hard at Matt’s speech to Eric trying to ask permission. This is so funny. 

Eric’s like, “is this kid serious rn?” 

Not to be that northern bitch but don’t kids get married at 18/19 all the fucking time in Texas?? I feel like it’s more common in even more rural parts of like...any state.

“The answer to your question is gonna be no today, it’s gonna be no tomorrow, and it’s gonna be no until the sun burns out.” LMAO wow i didn’t see this coming

“This was really just a courtesy, we were hoping for your blessing.” YES MATT.

OH BOY Eric did not just try to speak FOR his daughter, im not about it. “My daughter’s answer to you is ‘no.’” That’s some patriarchal shit right there.

“We’ll never know if we’re East Coast people if we don’t try it!” “We have a MUCH BIGGER problem.” Dude, it’s Matt Saracen, the softest boy who has loved your daughter for years, i actually think the fundamental decision of where you and Tami continue your future might be slightly more pressing. 

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me! I think we agree on this!” IM SCREAMINGGGG 

Aw, Tami getting teary-eyed at Grandma Saracen’s ring. “It’s just, y’all are so young.” I know but this is a TV show universe so we let teen marriage slide for the right couples, ok. 

Tami and Eric wanna take Matt and Julie to A CONVERSATION DINNER??? This is gonna be so funny. 

Aw, Vince got his dad a ticket to state? “I want you to be there.” if this fucker doesn’t just come and shut his mouth

Oh wow Becky’s mom is finally coming back? And yay Becky’s finally over her Tim crush. “So friends?” “I say family.” AWWW MY HEART.

“You guys were our age when you got married.” ARE YOU SERIOUS? “It was a different time.” Y’all have no leg to stand on here.

“Marriage requires maturity.” Says the man who won’t let his wife take a huge job offer. What, who said that? (Okay the way Tami’s watching Eric give this speech about compromise, thinking she’s thinking the same thing.)

“You guys got married when you were my age, and how many times did you move? How many different things you’ve gone through and look how you’ve made it work. You guys are my inspiration.” AW. I wish my parents had a stable enough marriage to be able to say that LOL but nope.

OH NO poor Tami getting up from the table because she’s emotional! Because she’s clearly always thought of her marriage that way too but maybe not lately AH

Eric, babe, that’s your cue to follow. 

Oh shit, Jess’s family is moving to Dallas? Well, damn.

Eric saw Vince not take a ticket for his dad and came to his watering hole to hand deliver it? “Young man gets a chance like that maybe once in a lifetime.” and mic drop, walk away.

Luke casuaklly meeting Becky’s mom for the first time while coming by to try to win Becky back. “I love you. I’m so sorry.” AWWW. growth!

YES cheers to Matt and Julie! “Here’s to Mr. and Mrs. Saracen.”

“Always thought you’d be the first person to say that.” AW

Yes halfway through college, go Tyra!

Awwww, Matt being like “let’s dance” and pulling Julie up. So cute. Yes, Tim asking Tyra to dance. 

“I got plans.” “I don’t.” OMG is Tim saying he’ll just follow Tyra? Damn.

Why tf is Buddy calling Eric first thing in the morning to tell him about Buddy Jr.’s cast and “staying here el permanente” and GETTING HIM TO SIGN A CONTRACT BEFORE THE GAME? Y’all are shady as fuck!

I love that seeing the Braemore papers made him stop, tell Buddy off, and not make a decision in that moment. What’s gonna happen???

“I won’t be a part of your Superteam after all.” Hopefully Eric won’t be either! Aw Jess thanking him “for the greatest experience of his life.” “I think it’s been mine too.” AW.

Eric’s gonna give a coach in Dallas a good word for Jess? So beautiful. Yesss!

AW Julie and Matt decorating the Saracen Christmas tree, and Grandma trying to get Julie to wear her old wedding dress!

Emotional at this hug between Julie and Mrs. Saracen. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

Awww Vince finally being glad that Jess is part of the team...at the moment when it’s about to end.

Yess Tyra and Tim picnicking on the land? 

And YES to Tyra going into politics, I could see it! “Along the lines of Mrs. T. Except bigger.” YES GURL.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was five years old.” AWWW that is so precious. 

“I’m gonna build a house exactly where we’re sitting. I’m gonna get a job. And I’m never gonna do anything illegal for the rest of my life.” Oh, Tim. my heart!!!

“Maybe one day, our dreams can merge together.” THAT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. What more does one really want? Oh, these beautiful life-filled shots of them drinking beer on the land where Tim wants to build a house. Art!

Oh shit, Eric’s racing to get to Santa in time to be there with Tami and Gracie?! “You scared me half to death. What’s going on?” 

“I turned the contract down. It’s your turn. I want to go to Philadelphia. Will you take me to Philadelphia with you, please?” YESSSSSSSSSSSSS what they deserve! What Tami deserves!!!! My heart!!!!

Ugh, the imagery as they get to State is amazing. The boys taking in the field, the players suited up praying and getting in the zone beforehand. The screaming in the stands waiting for them.

“You may never know how proud I am of you.” “You changed my life, coach.” AW.

Eric’s pre-game prayer overlaying the image of the Lions bursting out onto the field! Yes yes yes!

The way they slowed everything down with just music, and focused in on the faces of so many characters - Vince’s dad showing up, Eric and Tami saluting one another from stand to sideline, Becky cheering in the stands excitedly for Luke, Matt and Julie holding each other, Buddy on the sidelines screaming, Vince’s mom jumping up and down - just absolute perfection. 

And we’re back in, with actual in-scene sound at 26-21 with 3 seconds left on the clock??? Jesus!

AH and every single character watching the football fly in the air, WOW the DRAMA.

Holy shit, they fast-forwarded to one of Eric’s players in Philly catching a football eight months later in Philly??? THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD. WOW.

Tami looks like such a badass strutting around campus!

YES Tinker is on the Panthers! Take that, bullying reporter! 

Aw, the East Dillon Lions sign coming down. :( feels.

Nooo Luke don’t go to the military! Noooo I hate that. Poor Becky. They’re the exact type of couple who gets caught up in that really sad cycle - too poor to really have many other options, so the whole “free college when i get out!” thing starts to look really attractive. smh.

But i love how they used the championship ring he gave Becky as a way to signal that the East Dillon Lions did, indeed, win the state championship eight months earlier...and that Jess is wearing the ring on the sidelines of a new field where she’s working with the coaches! amazing!

Yay Matt and Julie live in Matt’s beautiful Chicago apartment? Perfection. They really look so good in that city together. 

New beginnings in a new city together for both Tami and Eric AND Matt and Julie? I’m living! It’s what they deserve!

Tim and Billy building Tim’s house and drinking beers! “Texas forever.” “Texas forever.” MY HEART.

“Clear eyes, full hearts.” SILENCE. “Ah, we’ll deal with that later.” LOL

Yesss Tami coming out to meet Eric on the field!!!

“Ready to go home?” “Yeah, let’s go.”

And the lights go off on the field. End show. AMAZING. Truly, an epic series finale! An epic show! I will definitely rewatch and i am so glad i finally did! Thanks to anyone who gave a shit about my ramblings.

[skywalkers-daughter]

The Last Jedi Thoughts

A lot of spoilers under the cut, but I have a lot of feelings so here we go

All in all, I liked it. Actually, I loved it, if we’re gonna be honest here, which was a pleasant surprise considering I went in pretty much terrified and prepared to start my Victorian two year mourning period right there on the spot.

That being said, I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things, so I’m going to be basic and follow everyone else who’s seen it with a pros and cons segment.

Pros (because I always like to start with the good):

Wow I love porgs. Like I feel like I should have something deep or thoughtful to say here but I really don’t. Bastards are freaking adorable I’m adopting twelve.

Force sensitive Leia is 100% canon now. I mean, we always knew it was canon, but now we have undeniable confirmation and I am alive.

 Leia’s relationship with Poe was seriously one of the greatest things to see. A good and pure addition, and it had a familial dynamic that I feel very strongly about.

R2-D2 showing Luke Leia’s message seriously made me cry. Their relationship is so wonderful and that being the thing that makes Luke decide to give Rey a chance was just like :’) I mean, then he decided to be a drama queen and all that but still it happened and I’m moving on now

Rey’s poncho???? A blessing 1000/10 would recommend

Rey interacting with rain? Pure and good content

I’m getting sidetracked so just one more but wow Rey with her hair down????? My baby is so good I love her

The 180 Steve Harrington move they pulled on us with Holdo was something I was not ready for yet was very happy about! Also the scene when she goes into hyperspace was just so good? A cinematic masterpiece all on its own.

Rose. Rose’s backstory, Rose’s wisdom, Rose’s cute face, just Rose in general. A pure and good soul who’s never done anything wrong in her life. I know this and I love her.

The whole plot idea between Finn, Rose, and Poe. While there were things I didn’t love (see down a bit), this whole idea of exploring one’s place in something as large as the fight between the Resistance and the First Order was actually really interesting to see. Especially Finn, struggling to decide with whether or not to dedicate himself to this cause, grappling with the severity of the decision. When he called himself rebel scum I may or may not have cried a bit and w’re moving on now

Poe’s sass. My skin is clear and my crops are watered.

Lieutenant Connix getting more screen time. Please and thank you.

Luke being the drama queen we all know and love, for better or for worse.

That whole force projection thing???? Wiping off the dust after being shot at???? Acknowledging that Kylo has fallen off the rail and can no longer be saved? Luke is a true legend in everything he does I will defend him to my grave

POE!!! JUST!!! WANTS!!! TO!!! SAVE!!! THEM!!!!!!!!

Rey coming in on the Falcon blasting TIE fighters??? I have been blessed

BB-8 has never been better and I’m leaving it at that

Rey lifting the rocks???

The kids from Canto Bright both broke my heart and made my life moving on

Rey rejecting Kylie!!! Twice!!!!!! That happened take a fucking sip, babes

I felt Luke’s death scene was well done. Did I want it? No, but I guess if Rian really had to do it (still think he did not then drawing the parallels with the sunset and the music and letting him be at peace was a nice was to do it. Don’t get me wrong I’m still not happy about it but they didn’t consult me first so I’m gonna have to live with it

The whole battle scene with Kyle and Rey was actually really good. I wasn’t expecting him to kill Snoke, not gonna lie, and that whole scene was actually really well done. I actually almost liked Kyle for a second. Then I came back to reality.

Rey trying to change him to the light. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the plot I wanted, and it wasn’t the one I would have gone for, but somehow it actually felt in key with her character? This is a girl who is completely built on hope to a certain extent. She saw there was still a part of Kylo that wasn’t akin to Snoke’s leadership, and she was hopeful she could use that to bring him to the light. Snoke saw this, and twisted it to his own advantage. Rey won’t be making that mistake with emo monster child anymore though because...

Kylo not turning to the light and instead taking his place as the pathetic, evil child he is. I knew he was unredeemable; glad to finally put that one to rest.

The entire ending? Like yes? Thank you????? Yeah I’m a sucker for hope okay that’s why I sold my soul to this life-ruining franchise in the first place y’all

Rest in freaking pieces r*ylo lmao

Shit that was too many feelings

Okay if y’all haven’t already decided to hate my opinions because they’re a) too long or b) other reasons then let’s move on to cons:

That hand touching scene?? Wtf????? Rian I want answers that was uncomfortable and I get the point of it was to have the two see something about the other through the force but still??? It was so???? Cringey?????

The entire beginning of the movie felt weirdly like a better version of a prequels film. I don’t know like I liked it but it was almost trippy in a way. Episodes 2 and 3 anyone??? Just me??? Whatever I just love Poe Dameron

There were some times I felt like the characters were just... off. I’m really glad they made it so Luke wasn’t going to actually kill Ben because that’s just?? Not Luke?? But they fixed that so moving on.

Poe was so aggressive at times but I love him he’s doing his best I don’t know why this is in here I have nothing negative to say about Poe ever

I wish they had really emphasized how important Finn’s decision to stay in the resistance is. That’s a big call that’s going to impact the whole next movie like come on guys give my boy a little bit more credit.

“No opportunity for LGBT representation” my ass like come on Rian how much more opportunity do you need?? JJ Abrams better pull through that’s all I’m saying

Half-naked Kyle? I am both confused and disturbed all at once. There was literally no reason for it and those pants were a nightmare that will haunt me and my costume design student dreams for an eternity I’m expecting this crime to be paid for in full LucasFilm

I still don’t know how I feel about the whole Rey’s parentage yet, but I didn’t really like the way it was done. It felt like it wasn’t that big of a deal? There was all this build up to it throughout the movie and then just??? Nothing?? This has been important to Rey for most of her life and her reaction was just sorta.... minimal. Like it obviously hurt but it still felt like it was missing something. Also Kyle’s a little shit for trying to use that to manipulate her but what else is new?

Killing Paige in the first 10 minutes or less. I...... sad.

This is a lot more than I thought I was going to type, and I’m not gonna lie I think it might all be a big incoherent mess, but I wanted to get some thoughts out while it was all super fresh in my mind. There’s actually a whole lot more I liked than what I wrote (I wrote too much as it is), and there was stuff I didn’t love either that isn’t in here, so if you want to talk I’d love to.

All in all, I actually enjoyed the film a lot. Poe isn’t straight though I’m not letting that go ever.

[evenifyoudontfic]

Even If You Don’t: Chapter 19

Previous chapter

Calum’s POV; 20 minutes later

After coming inside from meeting fans, I strolled throughout the venue in search of Mari. I was a little puzzled when she wasn’t in either of our dressing rooms – where she could usually be found when she wasn’t outside with fans herself – but I did my best to remain calm. I didn’t want to seem like a clingy boyfriend who always needed to know where his girlfriend was, but as I was running out of rooms to check for her, I couldn’t help but feel a panic start to bubble up in my chest at the thought of her going missing.

“Please tell me one of you has seen Mari,” I said, hurrying to the stage since I could hear Luke and Ashton talking.

“She’s fine, Cal,” Ashton assured me as he turned to look at me, “Michael just texted me that they were eating lunch; They’ll be back soon.”

“She went on a lunch date with someone else?” I frowned, but he knew it wasn’t a serious question.

“Yeah,” he nodded stoically, his eyes narrowing at the blonde who had yet to speak, “Luke, would you like to tell Calum why Mari went out with Michael?”

“What does that mean?” I cocked an eyebrow, my gaze flicking between the two. Luke didn’t even make a motion to say anything, so Ashton went on for him.

“Luke here decided to take his anger out on Mari while we were trying to rehearse Waste The Night,” he informed me, “He yelled, she left, and Michael went to go looking for her.”

“Why the hell did you do that?!” I exclaimed, throwing my arm up.

“She kept messing up her part,” he murmured.

“Well, you certainly weren’t helping her with it,” Ashton rolled his eyes, “You can’t expect Mari to know what you want her to do if you don’t tell her.”

“She’s not a mind-reader, Luke!” I reminded him, “I have bad moods too, but I don’t take them out on other people for not being able to just know what I want without me telling them!”

“Whatever,” he grumbled, shuffling away from Ashton and I. I waited until Luke was out of hearing range to start talking again.

“How’s she doing?” I asked Ashton.

“Not sure,” he shrugged, “Michael didn’t say anything apart from that they were eating. I can’t imagine she’s taking it too well though – she told Luke that he should have one of the other girls sing it with them tonight. And you know she doesn’t really want someone else to – she practically begged everyone to let her do it.” I chuckled softly at remembering how desperate Mari seemed to sing the song with us tonight before letting it fade out. I sighed to myself, just accepting that I wouldn’t get to see her until she and Michael got back to the venue.

~

10 minutes later

The group and I – minus Luke, of course – were all sitting around on the stage, talking about anything that came to our minds as we waited for show time. We were in the middle of talking about the upcoming Australian leg of the tour and how excited we were to show the girls our home country when we heard laughter coming up behind us. Mari was riding piggyback on Michael, giggling about something he must have said.

“What’s so funny, Mar?” Ashton asked, clearly curious as to what was said that drastically changed Mari’s mood from the last time he saw her.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything about your time in school, Cal?” she asked with a smirk, making my eyes widen.

“Michael!” I shouted, making him laugh.

“I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, “She just knows how to get stuff out of me!”

“Well, I, for one, would love to hear these stories that have Mari sent into a giggle fest,” Kaylynn cocked an eyebrow with a mischievous grin on her face. I was silent for a moment, prompting Mari to speak again.

“They’re gonna find out one way or another,” she shrugged, “You might as well be the one to tell ‘em.”

I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as she hopped off of Michael when he reached our little circle and stepped between Ashton and I before moving in front of me and sitting herself down in my lap. She sat down so she was facing me, wrapping her legs around my waist as well as her arms, settling herself against me. My own arms wound around her, hugging her close.

“How are you feeling?” I murmured into her ear as if everyone else wasn’t close enough to hear anyway.

“Better,” she whispered, nuzzling her face into my neck as I kissed the side of her head.

As Michael, Ashton, and I reminisced on our school days and the times before the band became as popular as it is, I could feel Mari’s body shake as she laughed along with everyone. She was pretty quiet throughout the time we were there, but as we were winding down to begin getting ready for the show, she finally spoke again.

“As fun as your embarrassing stories are to hear, I like listening to you talk about music more,” she told me.

“Yeah?” I hummed in response, “Why’s that?”

“I like how rambly you get-” I could feel her smile. “-when you talk about the first song you ever wrote or your favorite song to play on guitar… I like seeing your face light up when someone asks you how you got into bass or says they started playing because of you.”

“If you think he lights up when he talks about music, you should see him when someone mentions you,” Michael snickered. Before I could even scold him, I felt her grin again and press her lips to my neck, prompting me to squeeze her gently.

“You’re one to talk, Clifford,” Kaylynn snorted softly as we all got up, “Have you heard your reaction when someone even suggests food?”

“Are you implying that you don’t give the same reaction?” he scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

“No,” she stated seriously, “I’m implying that you seem to think you don’t.”

“No one’s blaming you for loving food, Mikey,” Mari giggled, her voice slightly muffled from how she had her head on my chest, “We’ve just noticed that you’re very…passionate…about it sometimes.”

“We have an entire song about it, you know,” Ashton reminded him, “I sing it at every show.”

“Ah, yes!” Kenzie chimed in, “The song so brilliantly titled Pizza and containing only one line! How could anyone ever forget your best song?”

“You know what?” Ashton tried not to smile as he grabbed her waist and started tickling her.

“Oh, get a room!” Mari shouted over Kenzie’s squeals, “You two are disgusting!”

“You’re one to talk, Miss PDA,” Vanessa laughed when Ashton and Kenzie finally quieted down.

“I don’t make it a secret that I like Calum when we’re in public,” she reminded all of us, “I make sure everyone knows about it.” I rolled my eyes playfully but I definitely wasn’t disagreeing with her. “You two are the ones who act like no one can tell,” she went on, “You guys stare at each other all the time. I’m pretty sure ‘Ashton and Kenzie’ has trended on Twitter before!”

“You’re just upset because you and Calum have never trended,” Kenzie replied with a blush, the gesture of her sticking her tongue out at Mari being happily returned.

“I don’t need a Twitter trend to admit to everyone that something’s going on,” Mari replied sassily, “If I want to remind everyone, I’ll just kiss him when paparazzi is around.”

“That doesn’t count if you already do it anyway!” Michael laughed loudly as Mari wiggled out of my grasp and walked away toward the dressing rooms.

Mari’s POV

After coming out of the bathroom in my dressing room, I found all the girls already standing around the clothing racks looking for tonight’s outfits.

“Oh, Mari!” Vanessa squeaked, “What were you thinking about wearing tonight?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, stepping in between her and Kenzie to look at the clothing myself, “Maybe that shirt that Kenz wore when we were on Ryan Seacrest – unless someone else is planning on wearing it.”

“So your grey Hollister dress is up for grabs?” she asked hopefully, “It’s obviously an outdoor show, so I don’t wanna be wearing too much and get too hot onstage.”

“I told you guys it was going to be hot while we were here,” I reminded them with a giggle.

“Yeah, but we didn’t think it was gonna be this hot!” Kenzie whined, “This heat is too much! I can hardly even breathe when we go outside!”

“That’s why we plan our outfits for the weather and not the season like you guys do in England,” I replied, “You basically know what kind of weather you’re getting in London – you never know in the Midwest, especially Indiana.”

“I’m starting to think that’s why you moved,” Kaylynn shook her head.

“It is!” I laughed again, “You’re just lucky we’re not here in winter. I don’t think y’all could handle it.”

“At least you can put more on than you can take off,” Vanessa pointed out, “Americans are very vocal when they see any part of a woman’s body they feel is ‘inappropriate’.”

“Another big reason I moved,” I nodded, grabbing Kenzie’s striped crop top and a pair of dark blue denim shorts before heading behind our makeshift changing station just in case anyone came into the room while I was changing.

After coming back into the main room, I was digging through our trunk of shoes looking for my all-black Converse when we heard a knock on the dressing room door. Kaylynn shouted for whoever it was to come in – we thought it was Gabrielle, to be honest – and they slowly came into the room.

“Mari,” I heard Luke said, making me freeze, “Are… Are you busy…?”

“A little,” I grumbled – I was obviously in the middle of searching for shoes, so I was a little annoyed that he had to ask.

“Oh… Well… When you’re done, can I… I need to talk to you...” he said softly.

I felt a nudge on my arm, causing me to look over at Kenzie as she was looking for shoes as well. She nodded her head in the direction Luke’s voice was coming from, making me finally look over my shoulder. Luke was staring down at his hands as he played with his fingers and I didn’t know why, but it made my heart ache for some reason.

I sighed lightly and turned back to the shoe trunk, only to find Kenzie holding up the other shoe I was looking for. A smile pulled at the corner of my mouth and I thanked her before quickly putting both shoes on my feet and tying them.

“We can go if you guys want the room to yourselves,” Vanessa spoke up.

“No, we’ll leave,” I shook my head, getting up from the floor, “You guys finish getting ready.” They nodded and went back to doing what they had been while I made my way to Luke.

The walk to wherever Luke was taking me to talk was a silent one – and I had to admit, it was pretty awkward as well considering the fact that we hadn’t spoken to each other in a few hours. But the moment we sat down on the catwalk of the stage overlooking the venue that would soon be filled up with fans, he couldn’t keep himself quite anymore.

“I’m sorry about earlier…” Luke said, looking at the hands on his lap once again, “I was in a bad mood because… Well, I don’t even know why and that’s what makes it a thousand times shittier for taking it out on you…” He sighed softly and I heard him breathe in shakily. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you’re not smart or that the other girls are better than you at reading music or whatever… I mean… You’re the only one of all of us who actually graduated, so you’re obviously a lot smarter than any of us…”

“Graduating doesn’t mean I’m smarter,” I reminded him, making him look at me, “I don’t use any of the things I learned in school in my everyday life. So you dropped out? Who cares? You’re already doing a lot more than any of the people I went to school with ever will. Dropping out doesn’t make you any less smart than someone who didn’t,” I shrugged, “Just means you knew what you wanted to do with your life sooner than everyone else. And I think it’s pretty cool that you actually get to do it.”

“So you’re not mad at me?” he asked.

“No, I am mad,” I nodded, noticing his shoulders slump out of the corner of my eye, “But I forgive you. And the next time you wanna yell at someone for not being able to read your mind, don’t.” I heard him chuckle lowly just before feeling his arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me into him.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured again, sighing in relief when I laid my head on his shoulder and hugged him back.

“I forgive you, Lukey,” I repeated, feeling him smile since his face was pressed to the side of my head. He kissed my temple before releasing me.

“You’re still gonna sing with us tonight, aren’t you?” he started chewing on his inner cheek, “We didn’t really need to practice the song anyway… We know you could probably do it in your sleep.”

“We could test that theory,” I mentioned as we both stood back up, “You’ll just have to push it back in your set so I have time to fall asleep.” Luke couldn’t help but laugh loudly, pulling me back in for another hug before immediately leaning over and throwing me over his shoulder so he could take me back to my dressing room.

idk how i feel about this ending but. u know. whatever.

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