#I didn't mean for most of the A/C hugs to be concentrated near the end

[ineffable-kelpie]

And I would like to spend...

Rating: G

Wordcount: 1,511

Prompt: A clinging hug

Characters: Crowley, Aziraphale

-

That was it, then. Everything was settled. The party was over, and the guests had left—the angels back to Heaven, and the demons back to Hell, Jesus to some unspecified Earthly location to “find himself” without his mum’s expectations to live up to. Which just left Aziraphale and Crowley, standing uncomfortably on the plains where there hadn’t actually been a battle, looking around to make sure they were alone. They were.

Crowley didn’t know how to begin addressing all that had happened between them. Where did they go from here? To the Ritz, for their usual celebratory lunch? To the back room of the bookshop, which was now occupied by another angel? How could they do that when they didn’t even know what they were to each other anymore?

They’d barely had time to breathe, much less talk, in all the panic of saving Earth from destruction (again). Some things had been settled since that disastrous conversation before Aziraphale left, yes. Aziraphale understood now what Crowley had tried to tell him about Heaven, because he’d seen himself how deeply, systematically entrenched the problems he’d thought he could fix were. And the aborted Final Judgement had demonstrated, so clearly that even an angel couldn’t miss it, that the problem with labeling people as “good” or “bad” wasn’t the specific people you applied those labels to. He’d finally grasped what Crowley had been trying to tell him for millennia. He’d been forced to rethink his worldview, and came out firmly in support of shades of gray.

It was just…Crowley didn’t know how he fit into that new world, for Aziraphale. And he couldn’t exactly ask. If he did, Aziraphale might tell him.

“Crowley.”

Aziraphale said his name so softly. A lump formed in Crowley’s throat as he looked up. Aziraphale had worked with him these past months, yes, but Aziraphale had an interest in saving Earth, too. He’d stayed here, with Crowley, after the battle, but…well, it wasn’t as though he had anywhere else to go. It might have nothing to do with Crowley. Crowley couldn’t get his hopes up, not again.

Aziraphale stepped towards him, his hands fidgeting. “Um…Back then, when you…before I left.”

Crowley stiffened. Oh, fuck. Okay. They were doing this.

“You started to say something, and you stopped.” Aziraphale paused. “Er, do you remember…?”

And I would like to spend…

Of course Crowley remembered. That fragment had haunted him ever since then. He’d been so close to getting the words out, to actually telling Aziraphale how much he meant to him, and then he just…couldn’t. He’d seen from the confusion on Aziraphale’s face that it was a lost cause, and he’d given up. He’d known that if he didn’t say it then, he was never going to say it. And he couldn’t say it.

Crowley didn’t answer, but the recognition must have been clear on his face. Aziraphale took another tentative step towards him. He was close enough to reach out and take Crowley’s hand, although he didn’t. “What were you going to say?” he asked gently.

I would like to spend…

Crowley’s throat closed up. “You’re clever. M’sure you can figure it out.”

“I’d really prefer to hear it from you.”

Crowley backed away. He couldn’t look at Aziraphale. “Doesn’t matter anymore, does it? That was ages ago.”

Crowley couldn’t see Aziraphale’s expression, but he could hear the small, ragged breath he let out. “Crowley, please—”

“Stop it,” Crowley burst out. “I couldn’t get the words out then, what makes you think I’d be able to now? Besides, you already said no. I’m not asking again. Learned that lesson the hard way.”

He hadn’t meant to be so harsh about it. Maybe that was what came of not talking for four years, and then forcibly putting your differences aside for a common cause. Now all the messiness came out at once. The thing was…the thing was, Crowley was tired of always doing the asking. Tired of putting his heart on the line and getting shot down. The last time he’d done it, it nearly broke him. And now Aziraphale wanted him to do it again. It was too much.

“I just,” he started to say, and then realized he didn’t know where the sentence was going. He shook his head. If Aziraphale had nothing else to say to him, it was probably best they just go their separate ways for a while. “Sorry, Aziraphale, I should head home. You know where to find me.” He turned to walk back to the Bentley.

He got four steps away before Aziraphale called after him. “I would…” he said, his voice trembling. “I would like…”

Crowley froze, his heart in his throat. Was Aziraphale actually…No, he couldn’t be. But it sounded like…

He turned, forcing himself to look at Aziraphale. The angel was standing stiffly, his hands clasped together in front of him so tight that his knuckles were white. He looked like he was about to come apart from fear, but held himself together with sheer willpower. “I would like to s-spend…eternity, by your side,” he choked out. “If you’ll have me. I mean, if…if that’s what…Did I get it right?”

Crowley couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe. He could only stand there and stare at his angel—His angel, who had been so brave, and said what Crowley could not—His angel, who still wanted to be with him even though he would never be an angel, even after everything that had happened—

Aziraphale’s resolve was crumbling. He dissolved into tears. “Unless,” he managed to get out, “unless you’ve ch-changed your mind—”

Crowley was not aware of stepping forward, or moving at all, but suddenly his arms were around Aziraphale, and Aziraphale was clinging to him and gasping for breath like he was drowning. “Yes,” said Crowley, his voice thick with tears. He was crying, now, too. “Yes, angel, you got it in one. And yes, I still…Yes.”

Aziraphale squeezed Crowley so tightly that he couldn’t have kept talking if he wanted to. “I’m s-s-sorry,” he sobbed. “I didn’t know how much I hurt you.”

It’s okay, Crowley wanted to say. You came back. We’ll have forever to apologize to each other, don’t worry about it just now. Except there was no air in his lungs, so he just patted Aziraphale on the back instead and hoped that would communicate at least part of what he meant.

Aziraphale didn’t seem inclined to let go anytime soon. Crowley could relate. It had been such a long and difficult road to get here, and now all he wanted to do was hold his angel for as long as his angel wanted to be held. Which could be a very long time. They had eternity ahead of them, after all, and no angels or demons or sons of God or Satan would be coming to disturb them anymore. The sun went down, and they were still standing there. The sun came back up, and they hadn’t moved. They’d both worn themselves out sobbing, and had stopped crying, but still leaned into each other, basking in the love they could finally let themselves have.

What finally broke them apart was a low, unearthly growl that set Crowley’s teeth on edge. He pulled away from Aziraphale to look around for whatever had risen out of Hell to bother them. Then he caught sight of Aziraphale’s embarrassed face, and the hand on his stomach.

“Do you know,” said Aziraphale, “there isn’t a single decent café anywhere in Heaven?”

Crowley laughed. The relief of having survived, and the Earth not being destroyed, and having this wonderful, ridiculous angel back in his life bubbled up and spilled over. He was cackling so much he had to brace himself against his knees. Aziraphale was laughing too, one hand on Crowley’s shoulders for support, the other hand wiping his eyes. Crowley loved him so much.

“Alright,” Crowley gasped, when the laughter had petered out enough for him to speak. “Shall we do the Ritz?”

Aziraphale smiled at him like he was the whole world, like he needed to make up all the time he’d spent not smiling at Crowley over the past few years. Like it was a privilege to get to smile at Crowley for as long as he wanted. It made Crowley’s knees weak, getting smiled at like that. “The Ritz would be wonderful,” said Aziraphale.

Crowley snapped his fingers to clean them both up a little, get rid of the snot and tearstains on their clothes, and smooth out the wrinkles from hugging for almost a full day uninterrupted. “I think someone’s just cancelled a reservation for two.”

“How lucky for us.” Aziraphale glanced at Crowley’s hand, then shyly reached out and took it. Crowley squeezed his hand back, which made Aziraphale’s smile somehow even brighter.

He was right, Crowley thought, as they walked back to the Bentley, hand-in-hand. They were extremely lucky to have made it here, together. Unbelievably so. And even luckier to have the vast expanse of eternity ahead of them.

[charliedawn]

What is their reaction when they find out that they may have grown attached to you ?

You know how Jason can be very insecure and self-conscious ? Well. Prepare for a whole new level. He will check himself in the mirror when you're not looking, and if he doesn't like what he is seeing ? He will smash the mirror and go in a corner to sit and move back and forth, to give himself some reassurance. He still remembers what his mother used to tell him.

" Persons are a nuisance, Jason. You don't need them to survive."

But then, why does he feel like he needs you ? He feels conflicted as to what to believe.

Super jumpy ! He will jump almost every time you touch him or lose his grip of the things he is holding, often ending broken and splattered on the floor. He would be as clumsy as Jason and would want you to spend more time with him. However, he would also be scared of you breaking his heart.

" I..I c..care.."

Like many of your patients, Brahms has trouble finding his words. At first, many thought he was mute, like Jason or Michael. This is why hearing him speak to you always means it is important.

" I..I care.."

He wants to say many things, how he cherishes every moment you spend together, how you make his heart race everytime you are near him or how he wants you to be by his side forever..But, he can't. He can just hope that what he feels can be expressed through eye contact. You may not understand what he wants to say, but you still try to understand. You put your hand on his and reply with a compassionate smile.

" I care about you too. You are a very good friend, Brahms.."

Did you just indirectly friendzone him ? Possibly..You walk out and Brahms sighs before sitting on his bed while hugging his doll to comfort him.

" You turn me on."

He will be absolutely frank about it. He will just step up and tell you in front of anyone. He doesn't give a damn if the others hear him as well. Also, creep alert, will watch you sleep. He will sneak in your bedroom in the middle of the night and just look at you sleep. He wants to touch you so bad, but he knows that that would wake you up. And he doesn't want that. He will just admire you from afar, even pretend that you may like him back. He would just want to get close to you, to look at you and wonder what you may be dreaming about..hoping that you are dreaming of him.

" Oh my sweet..You look so perfect when you sleep.."

Now..You know how Five is very serious about his relationship with Dolores ? Well, you better be prepared by lots of imaginary fights between the two of them, and even a break-up ! *gasp* Drama. He would be in a very bad mood and would scream and attack everyone that approaches his personal space. He would also smash everything in his room. Like, everything. So much that the other nurses would be too scared of him and ask you to handle it.

" Hey. Are you okay, Five ? Did something happen ?"

He would snort and look up at you with visible frustration.

" You happened. Dolores and I broke up. Not that she was one to share her feelings anyway."

You frown in incomprehension before asking with a small airy laugh.

" I don't understand, what does that have to do with me ?"

Your question seems to trigger a nerve and he suddenly stands up to look at you dead in the eye with anger and, somehow, pain..

" Everything ! You're too nice ! Too forgiving ! Too perfect ! You wiped our past as if it was nothing, goddammit ! We're serial killers, Y/N! We're monsters and you treat us as if we were..as if we were.."

He doesn't get to finish that sentence as he seems on the verge of tears. He jumps on his bed to sit and hide his face behind his knees. You seem to finally understand the problem and sigh before sitting next to Five.

" It's okay to have feelings, Five. You can't hide them forever. I'm sorry if it upsets you but, I don't think you're all that bad. Sure, you kill and even eat people. But, I've seen you change. You are a lot less violent and a few more months ? And I'm sure you'll be out of here in no time."

He looks up at you again with a sort of desperation, very uncharacteristic of Five, before finally asking in a tearful voice.

" What if..What if I don't want to go back ? Out there, I'm just a freak. But, here ? I got.."

He doesn't finish his sentence, but you guess what he is going to say and smile understandingly.

"..Friends ?"

He doesn't answer, he only suddenly hugs you tightly and hides his face in your skirt. You hesitate before slowly petting the top of his head affectionately. The gesture seems to relax him, but he quickly straightens up and wipes his tears away. He then stands up and apologizes.

" I..I'm sorry, it was highly inappropriate of me. I'll..I'll let you work."

Before you could say anything, he runs out of the room and leaves you confused and worried.

Lots of uncontrollable laughter. More than usual. He is very nervous when you're around him and sometimes cries while laughing, showing that he is deeply ashamed of his condition. He is very bipolar and will sometimes act very casually around you, only to break into tears when you leave the room. He will stare at you and turn his gaze away as soon as you would notice.

" Well, would you look at that ? Sir Sh*tty the clown seems to have a little crush on the nice nurse.."

Pennywise would tease him about it while Penny cackles behind him. Arthur glares at them both before either ignoring them or leaving the room.

No. Nope. Certainly not. He will try to hide from you. He knows very well what he is feeling, and also what happens to the people he feels this way towards. He just managed to get rid of his curse, he is not about to risk getting on a murder rampage again ! Every time he would see you, he would pretend to be busy or hide. One time, he even jumped out the window to get away from you. It is very odd since Michael is normally the most chill and calm out of all the patients. But one look at you ? And he becomes a panicking mess. He has to get away. He doesn't want to hurt you like he hurt everyone else close to him, like he hurt his family..

" Me ? Having feelings ? Ah !"

One word: denial. He doesn't want to hear about things like feelings. He saved you ? Bah. It was only because he was bored. He will deny everything, but still follow you and pop up out of nowhere to see what you're doing. He enjoys talking to you, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

" Pennywise..You're staring again."

Penny would gently warn him as his big brother would pretend to not have done such a thing.

" Can't an old clown appreciate to look at nice things sometimes ?"

Penny frowns, not understanding his big brother's words until Freddy intervenes by popping next to him with a huge grin.

" Let it go, kid. Your big bro is just too much of a chicken to go talk to her.."

Pennywise growls in annoyance at Freddy before raising his middle finger at him.

" F*ck off Freddy ! At least I don't watch her sleep like a total perv !"

That would result in a fight that you would have to break. Again..

" Pennywise..I think I'm sick.."

Pennywise would admit some day to Pennywise that would sigh in annoyance.

" Stop saying stupid sh*t. You know very well that we can't be sick."

But, upon seeing the devastated face of his brother, Pennywise sighs loudly before turning towards him to focus his whole attention on him.

" Fiiinnneee...Tell me."

Penny's mood seems to lit up as his brother seems to be willing to listen to him.

" OK, so it concerns the nurse, Y/N. Everytime they are near me, I feel things in my stomach, like a million kids were kicking me in there..Everytime they touch me, I feel as if a part of me in my chest is about to burst and I feel warm, very very warm. And then, I feel very very bad when they talk to anyone else..It's horrible. I want it to stop..Should I eat them ?"

Pennywise stays silent for a while before saying with an unusual straight face.

" Penny.."

He starts, but Penny starts panicking as he sees the sour look on his brother's face.

" Oh ! It's bad, isn't it ?! What is it ?! How long do I have ?!"

Pennywise rolls his eyes dramatically at his brother's exaggerated reaction before cutting him off in his worried questions.

" Shut up, you idiot ! You're not dying. You're just feeling.."things" for them."

Penny stops talking and frowns in confusion, his eyes diverging in deep concentration, as if trying to understand Pennywise's words.

" Things ?! What things ?!"

He finally asks with his eyes wide open in obvious loss and Pennywise face-palms himself before answering with a loud sigh.

" You're falling in love, you dumb f*ck !"

At the word, Penny's face freezes and his smile goes downwards as he realizes that his older brother is right.

" Oh, sh*t.."

He curses and Pennywise frowns, as Penny hates curses.

" Language ! I'm the only one allowed to use curses, remember ?!"

Penny nods before asking in a worried tone.

" How do I get rid of it ? I don't like it.."

Pennywise can't help but feel sorry for Penny, as he knew better than anyone that there was no turning back..

" I'm sorry kid. But if it's really love ? You can't..like I can't.."

Penny's eyes widen at his brother's confession.

" You..You..love her too ?"

Pennywise seems to realize what he just said and groans before walking away. He didn't want anyone to know, even though Penny is his brother. Penny understands the wish of his brother to be left alone and starts walking out in the garden to think over what his older brother said..Could it be ? Could he really be falling in love ?

Bonus : The deal

The Horde is blindfolded and dragged to another room where a man and a woman are waiting for them. At first look, he can already tell that this man is one of the unworthy. The unbroken. The weak..His interest is cut short and he then turns towards the woman sitting next to him. Now, this one was interesting..Her eyes betrayed a much deeper complexity and she had a scar running from her forehead to her left cheek that proved she was worthy.

" You..You are broken. Rejoice.."

The woman smiles, but before she could start talking, her partner does it for her.

" Mister Wendell Crumb, we have a mission for you."

But Kevin only grits his teeths at the man.

" You are impure..I want to kill you.."

The man arks an eyebrow, but ignores his threat.

" Fine. Whatever. But first, I want you to be my spy. We didn't get you out of this prison for nothing, mister Wendell Crumb. We want you to be our little spy in the facility. We want you to find out how a certain miss L/N managed to control the patients outside of the facility. Do that, and you'll be as free as a bird..Do we have a deal ?"

He frowns, they wanted him to spy on a nurse ? She must be quite special for them to go to such lengths, to use him as a spy..Yes, quite the unique prey. The Beast was already impatient and Kevin licks his lips before nodding.

" Fine, but on one condition. When you're finished with her, I get to eat her heart.."

The request seems to take the man aback, but it is the lady that Kevin is looking at. She smiles coldly before nodding in agreement.

" Deal."

Kevin finally smiles widely and can't help the excited giggle that gets out from deep within him. Then, the dark and low voice of the beast makes itself heard as the smile grows almost ferocious as he announces. .

" Let the hunt begin.."