#I don’t want my work to be mass market robotic sounding trash

[jewishbarbies]

lit agents telling authors how to write for publication:

[jessilynallendilla]

THE CONCRETE MIXER

Witches cry out against Ettil who won’t fight with Mars against Earth, he encourages them. (good) His wife cries and Ettil explains that it’s foolish, Earth will destroy them. (yeah they have no immunity against the common cold) Outside he could hear the marching army. Ettil resolves to stay on Mars and read, (I would too) his father in law says he’ll be shot, “Who ever heard of a Martian not invading? Who!” p.210 Ettil shoves him out of the house only to be arrested and Ettil shouts his goodbye to his wife.

In his cell he watches the rockets take off. Another with Ettil’s illegal Earth books demands an explanation. Ettil says that’s the reason he won’t invade and to get it over with and shoot him. (badass) He points out the books are on Mars invading Earth, getting thwarted by a man named Rick, Mick, Bannon or Jick (what kinda name is Jick?) and failing. The official calls it treason, Ettil brings up that Earth has generations of children reading stories of Earth successfully defeating an invasion, Mars doesn’t. (point taken) Reading that gives them morale. “Their youth of reading just such fiction as this has given them faith we cannot equal.” p.212 The official says Ettil has a choice join the war or burn with his books, Ettil chooses to burn. (badass like that lady in Fahrenheit 451) As he watches his books burn in the courtyard, he sees his fearful son watching, (oh that’s low and cruel) he changes his mind.

As they march to the ship Ettil sees his wife crying, (does this woman do anything but cry?) the men are laughing and Ettil whispers that they’re off to destruction but changes to victory when someone overhears him. Everything about him is back on Mars but here you’re a robot to bring death to Earthmen. You’re already dead here. Ettil thinks it happened quick, one Earth rocket reverse engineered to make an invasion. And now they know all about Earth and its people, (from one rocket and not all our radio signals?) “And we shall pay the price for our brilliance…” p.215

They wait to attack when the silence is broken by an Earth radio signal. (see) William Sommers, president of a production company welcomes them. They renounced war and are unprepared for the invasion they welcome them and ask for mercy. Sommers calls them all brothers and the Martians think he is either mad or it’s a trick. (or both)

People waited at the tarmac, the Mayor, his wife, Miss California 1965, Miss America 1940, Mr. Biggest Grapefruit and the police holding back the crowd, a full welcome wagon band and rockets. The band plays California, Here I Come, Oh, You Golden State and Santa Clause Is Coming to Town with the lyrics changed to Martians. When they land the Mayor makes a speech about the benefit of the Martians, Miss America offers to kiss them, the band play How Do You Do, Everybody and Mr. Grapefruit gives them a two-ton truck of grapefruit. All of this starting at 1:30 and ending at 4:00. (well with the lack of professionalism aside at least they’re efficient)

One Martian is suspicious of all this and wants to kill them. (of course they would) All around people mingle and ask questions. Ettil says he can feel a subtle evil about this and they’re going to do something he can just can’t figure out what. “One huge mass of common men, loving dogs and cats and Martians equally. And yet-and yet-” p.219 The humans pass out free beer (it’s technically toxic to us what makes you think an alien you know nothing about can consume it?) and the Martians start to get sick on our food. (see no immunity) The assignor says they overdid their hospitality and orders them to town as other ships land.

They walk into town and get scared by women in a beauty parlor looking like undersea creatures. (is Ray Bradbury a Humans Are Space Orcs poster?) They would rush them shrieking, destroy their sensibilities and change them into husbands and working men who pays so they can come in here and eat their evil chocolates. (sexism mixed with space orcs) A few think they can control the women. (sexism) A few women call out to the Martians calling them cute, Ettil runs. (like you do)  

Ettil sits at the park still in horror of the movie theatre. A woman gets his attention asking if he wants to go see a picture, everyone else is. He asks if that’s all they do, she says what else is there and laughs at the thought of reading. (air headed ditz) They do drive around and Ettil should get the new model. Then she says all his talk makes him sound like a communist they don’t stand for that, (this was written during the cold war it was all Americana during this time) they’ve been good to the Martians and let them invade. Ettil says that’s what he’s trying to understand, the woman says it’s because they’re big hearted and walk off.

Ettil tries to write a letter to his wife but is interrupted by an old woman and a girl with a tambourine asking if he’s been saved. (oh no) Ettil is confused asking if they’re in danger. The woman goes on that he’s in danger of the worst kind and “We saved lots already today. I saved three myself, of you Mars people. Ain’t we nice?” p.223 (no no you’re not) Then ask if he’s been baptized, Ettil is confused and asks if that’s like being shot. The woman goes on of how he’s being sinful and had an ignorant upbringing in those Martian schools that don’t teach the truth just lies (you’re right we do need to teach religion in schools let’s start with Islam) and if he wants to be happy, he needs to be baptized. (no you don’t)

She goes on describing peace, quiet, milk, honey and laughter and Ettil blurts out that Mars is a great planet like she described. She stops and asks if he’s joking, he says no, and the woman goes again that she wasn’t talking about nasty Mars and that it’s his type that will boil, suffer and be tortured. (yes insult a person their beliefs and homeland that will get them to listen to you and come to your side) He cuts her off, “I must admit Earth isn’t very nice. You described it beautifully.” p.224 Then pleads ignorance when she gets mad again and calls him a heathen. (All My Friends Are Heathens~) She gives him a pamphlet to the church if he wants baptized and goes down the street singing loudly that she’s happy. (and is promptly arrested for disturbing the peace)

Ettil writes to his wife again, that he was naïve to think Earthmen would counter attack with weapons. There are blond, pink, rubber robots that live in caves. They have large butts. They are hypnotized to watch movies for lengthy periods of time. And their only muscles are in their jaws from constantly chewing gum. (seriously read the actual story it’s chock full of Humans Are Space Orcs content) They’ve been dropped like seeds into a concrete mixer, (tiiii-tlllle) that is this civilization. They won’t survive, killed by kindness and “We will be destroyed not by the rocket but by the automobile…” p.225 Then right on time, there’s a car crash involving Earthmen and Martians. Ettil writes the statistics of car crashes, people made into jelly, the horror. (yeah car accidents can be pretty nasty)

Blood is all over the highway. Halloween is one of their holidays and he thinks that’s when they worship the automobile or something about death. (Space Orcs) He sees the army trapped in cinemas, by gum and witches. The Earthmen are killing them with romance. Then he writes that he will try to escape and may die and wishes love to their child. Confused about it all he leaves the park only knowing if he stays, he would own things that keep him here like a wife and a car. He sees the haunted faces of Earthmen. (…really?) A limo pulls up to Ettil and a man invites him in where they can talk. Ettil does. (stranger danger)

R.R. Van Plank orders Ettil a Manhattan, he works for Big Studios, he shakes Ettil’s hand which Ettil thinks is a message and Plank tells him of his idea, a movie about Earth being invaded by Mars. (you think it will be popular with all that’s going on?) He keeps talking about how he can give Ettil money and women from his black book, (ew) Ettil mistakes that the talk of peaches is about fruit. Plank doesn’t understand and explains his vision of Mars’s silver cities, Martians dancing around fires and tall blond Martian women. (is this cultural appropriation?) He won’t listen to Ettil when he says that Martian cities don’t look like that, they don’t dance around fires and Martian women are dark. Plank starts calling Ettil other names like Mac, Billy, Roscoe etc. because he says Ettil is a woman’s name (how?) and then goes on about his idea of a Martian woman saving the ship from a meteor. (of course)

Ettil asks why Earthmen are being nice to them, “We invade your planet, and you welcome us-everybody-like long-lost children.” p.229 (this has implications of imperialism) Plank explains everyone on Earth is common, the Martians envied Earth cities and were lonely. (mansplaining to Martians) He reasons they came down for Earth’s cities and women (of course) and they welcome them. There’s profit to be made, movies, dolls, games etc. and all the things Earth can sell to the Martians. (are the Martians sure they landed on Earth and not Ferenginar?) Ettil asks what R.R. stands for, it’s Richard Robert, the Ettil asks if people call him Rick. Plank says yes and Ettil starts laughing that he doesn’t have muscles, a lean jaw or a gun, just money, a ring and is overweight. Plank gets offended (I think anyone would if you called them fat) and Ettil says he’ll be the one who’ll conquer Mars and Plank tells him that he’s just a businessman wanting to corner the Martian market with cartoons, perfumes, dresses and shoes. Ettil tells him they don’t even wear shoes. Plank calls them Oakies (what people called Dust Bowl refugees from Oklahoma basically he’s calling them white/trailer trash) and they’ll shame everyone into wearing shoes, then nail polish. (modern advertisement I see) He asks Ettil if they’ve got a deal starting at two hundred a week. Ettil says he’s sick on the Manhattan, he starts turning blue (ok I’m really interested to see what these Martians look like) and steps out for fresh air.

Outside Ettil asks if all this is the reason they were taken in, Plank says yes, anytime Earthmen can make a buck and he leaves Ettil with his card. Ettil doesn’t know what to do now, he sees the rockets and hears the night life including the common occurrence of a Martian having a nervous breakdown in the compound from all the over stimulation. (learn to pace yourself) Ettil walks to the ships, the guards are drunk, (clearly the best for the job) and he wonders how many in the year will die from liver cirrhosis, kidney failure and suicide. He has to make a choice, stay on Earth and make movies lying about Mars, or steal a rocket and return. (quite the difficult choice there)

He thinks of their ancient cities and ancestral graves having nightclubs and casinos built into them. (replace the Martian context with Native American) He resolves to go to Mars to his wife and son and read his books for a few years until they’re invaded by neon. Then they could hide in the mountains until tourists come with their cameras. “War is a bad thing, but peace can be a living horror.” p.233 (traditions start to die and culture is trivialized and used as tourist fodder) He sees a car full of teenagers speed by pointing and yelling at him. He runs and before it hits him he thinks it’s strange that it sounds like a concrete mixer. (the somewhat ambiguous way it’s written I don’t know if this was an accident suicide or murder)

@crackspinewornpages