#I don't care if your child is having sooo much fun reading picture books

[chicago-geniza]

When you're closing and customers won't leave and keep wheedling you about Just One More Thing, Can You Make An Exception Just This One Time. Well that is when you're allowed to be a little bit mean. And reader. I will not say I do not relish it

[uighean]

Tag game to better know you

tagged by @ettelwenailinon <3333

what book are you currently reading?

I'm finally getting around to reading through all the riordanverse books (after dropping them when I was like, 10 & read on wikipedia that percy and annabeth kissed and I (unknowing baby lesbian) was like ew. romance. not reading that. which is hysterically funny to me now) & rn I am a couple chapters into the lost hero

also I'm technically still in the middle of an iliad reread (if you're seeing a greek myth theme then no you're not <3). and also teeechnically in the middle of war and peace but it's been ages since I read any.

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

haven't seen anything in cinemas this year but I am going to see barbie on sunday. I hope it's bonkers.

what do you usually wear?

see I'm living out of a suitcase rn and also mostly dressing in a work uniform (I am consistently wearing trousers for the first time in about 8 years. very cursed.) so outside of work clothes I'm kinda back to wearing dresses? which is ok. it's not giving me the bad gender vibes I was getting a couple months back. hopefully soon I'll be back to my fav combo of kilt + button-up shirt + waistcoat tho

how tall are you

uhh 5'3"ish I think? taller than @ettelwenailinon and that's the important thing >:)

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

pisces, & there's a bit of stuff that's happened on my birthday but I'm gonna go with the australian labor party defeating the liberals in 1983. love to see the liberals losing

do you go by your name or a nickname?

just my name! there are very very few people who I'll let shorten my name tbh. idk why I but don't tend to like it

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

absolutely not! wanted to be a vet, ended up working in museums. all because of the blorbo brainrot.

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

I sure am in a relationship <333 @ettelwenailinon

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

oughfdk idk. pretty good at writing, pretty bad at drawing (would like to get better tho!!)

dogs or cats?

horses <3

but. cats. dogs are cute but I don't have the patience for them.

if  you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite  picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this  year?

oh man ig I'm going to do the unprecedented thing of linking to my ao3 from my main ghjkfd. non-dr who mutuals I am SO sorry <3

if you are not one of my dr who mutuals then you may not know (or you may have guessed from my vagueposting fdksjhgfd) that the stuff I love to write most is like,,, fic that's more about my historical interests than actual dr who HGKFDJ. & sure enough when I looked at what I'd done this year, all the stuff I liked best was historical fic. tossed up between a couple of them but I've got to give it to should i have bent, been reshaped

“Were ye ever proud of me?” he asked softly. “In the war? I used tae wonder that, after I’d lost ye.” Moisture was beading at the tip of his nose, and he drew the back of his hand across it, snuffling away the tears that still refused to fall. “Sometimes it felt like the only thought I ever had, when I was pipin’ in your place. If ye were watchin’, and if ye were proud of me. I thought maybe you’d come back an’ tell me so.” A bitter smile curled itself over his mouth. “But ye never did, did ye?” One hand stretched out, tracing over the lettering on the gravestone. His head was still bowed too low to see them, but he knew the words by heart. Dòmhnall Uilleam MacCruimein. “Ye never came back. An’ ye never, ever told me ye were proud.”

this was sooo much fun to write oh my god. it was mostly based around the title, bc as soon as I heard that song I was like. that's a jamie song. no I don't care it's from a video game and about a totally different character, it's about jamie's relationship with his father.

and I'm just so nuts about jamie's relationship with his family and his father in particular, the way it bounces off his queerness and relationship with his gender, etc etc etc. it's a very hyperspecific and niche fic but that's what gives me the most joy so <3

what is something that you’d like to create content for?

hmm idk!! nothing new, really. I'm very much wedded to two-era dr who in terms of writing. I'd like to make more holding achilles gifsets I think

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

life is really kicking my brain cell rn so not a whole lot but @ettelwenailinon talking about stuff to do with jacobitism/the '45 is driving me down the rabbithole again too & that is DEFINITELY coming out in the fic ideas I'm bouncing around ghfjkds

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

the first thing that jumped into my mind was the sun and the star. not gonna explain that one I'm just gonna say that I could fix her but also it makes me want to kill

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

walk fast :^) powered by spite and homosexuality

are you religious?

nope! never have been. I guess I have a sort of spirituality in my world view but it's very. mild I suppose.

what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

an apartment......... finding somewhere to rent is hard :/

tagging @galacticlamps @vimbry @kiraistired @carrionthird @p0stscripter and whoever else I've forgotten/who wants to do it!! no pressure tho <3

[astaroth1357]

AYE requests briefly open you say? Then here ya go: MC (female or gn) turns into a child for a day courtsey of Solomon (maybe around 5) with the Brothers. I think it'd be adorable, what with finger painting on spell books and things, but there ya go!

The MC is Now Five Years Old, Thanks Solomon...

Oh boy…. A little kid in Hell sounds like a train wreck admittedly, but at least they'll have some pretty strong guardians right? I heard It'll Be Okay by SMLE & Helen Tess and decided that was JUST the feel this sort of request needed.

Intro:

Solomon really doesn't mess up spells often. He's been doing this for a while (at least as far as my headcanon is concerned) so he's gotten pretty damn good at magic over the years. It takes a looot to make him mess up. Like say, a natural disaster, an unexpected surprise… or a whole-ass MC getting knocked into what sigil he's using at just the wrong time. Yeah. That'll do it.

How in the world is he going to explain this to the brothers…?

Lucifer

His anger toward Solomon is quite severe… tempered only slightly by how utterly adorable kid!MC is. (Well all know he's got that soft spot for cute things 🤭) It reminds him so much of his brothers at that age…

The man basically reverts back to being Dad!Lucifer sooo fast.

He's the one tying their shoes, checking on them throughout the day, making sure they're not running with scissors… that sort of thing.

Weirdly enough he's not that bothered by it… In fact, his brothers find it a little unnerving just how at peace he seems when he's keeping track of kid!MC doing this or that… It's like he's just put on an old pair of gloves and found out they still fit.

Speaking of his brothers, Lucifer can't turn off "Parent Mode" so it starts spilling over to them too...

When he started telling Levi "It's bedtime" and used a napkin to wipe Beel's face for him in public, they decided to hold an informal intervention. They're grown demons now, damnit!! 😖

Mammon

The first thing kid!MC did when they saw Mammon was fling themselves at him while screaming "MAMMIE!!!" at the top of their lungs… Regardless of his confusion, the man could probably die happy now.

He only gripes a little bit about being saddled with babysitting duty… Because everybody knows he's not the babysitter now. He's the playmate.

"Mammie, I wanna play House!!" "I ain't playing House with ya, kid. How 'bout Tag?" "No way, you're too fast!"  "Hide'n Seek?" "Luci said we can't play that no more…" "Well don't hide in the oven again!" "You didn't find me!!" "That was the problem!!!"

Pretty much the Man-Child/Actual Child Duo. He's perfect for keeping up with them and they'll whine incessantly when they can't find him for too long...

Totally the brother to take them to the amusement park or really any of those super fun places kids love. He will be just as excited as they are to be there, too.

It's not uncommon to find Mammon passed out on a couch or something with an equally exhausted kid!MC sleeping on his back. The two can really wear each other out…

Leviathan

He's probably the least perturbed by this change. Sudden de-aging of characters is a pretty popular anime trope, after all...

He's not all that taken with kid!MC though to be honest… Largely because he's too worried about keeping his stuff out of their grubby mitts. 😖

"Levi, what's this?" "GAH! Don't touch that!! That's my limited edition Ultra☆Rainbow Witch figurine!!" "I wanna play with it, though!" "It's not a toy!!" "That's not fair! You have nothing but toys, Levi!! You need to share!!" "NO I DON'T!!!"

In those times where Lucifer forces him to share, Levi goes full neat-freak. He handles all the discs and games himself, everything gets practically sterilized, and kid!MC HAS to wash their hands before they touch ANYTHING (especially the game controllers). He ain't risking any random kid-gunk getting on his precious possessions… 😰

He does enjoy playing games with them well enough, at least. No one's going to pass up a game of Devil Kart after all!

Sometimes he'll let them win just to see how happy they get… Though, then they start getting a big head about it so he has to remind him who the actual gamer is with another string of losses... Sucks to suck, kid! 😌😏

Satan

… You know, five year-olds ask a lot of questions… A looot of questions…

"Satan, what's that?" "An umbrella. You use it so that rain doesn't get on you." "Where does rain come from?" "Evaporated water collects in the atmosphere and-" "Is rain like the sky peeing?" "...." "Satan? Does your face hurt?... Satan?"

Please Lord, they may not be on speaking terms, but someone has to have mercy on his patience...

In truth, Satan's kind of charmed by how curious kid!MC is, he just wished they'd listen more to his boring explanations…

"Satan? Why does everyone listen to Diavolo?" "Lord Diavolo is like a king to us demons." "Where's his crown?" "He doesn't wear a crown." "Oh… You don't wear a crown and people listen to you. Are you a king too?" "I mean, you're not wrong… 😏" "Satan, get back to work."

Eh, maybe having a little MC isn't all that bad. They don't lie, after all. 😌

Asmodeus

OMG he hasn't seen a child this cute since the twins were in diapers!!!!

If Mammon isn't around then Asmo takes over babysitting duties (like an actual babysitter) and he's more than happy to do it. It reminds of him of taking care of baby Belphie!

If kid!MC has any interest at all in makeup then he's happy to foster it. He won't give them the good stuff of course, but he'll show them how to do blush, eyes, lipstick, nail polish, whatever!

He also dabbles in a bit of facepaint so do they want to look like a kitty, panda, or dragon? He's got them covered.

Asmo just likes to let them be creative in all forms, really. He's going to be the one to break out the paint and markers and just the kid!MC go to town! (hopefully not on the walls…)

Takes pictures of whatever they draw, good or bad, and happily displays them to everyone. There's not a big enough fridge to hold all the art he's going to collect (and zealously protect).

Beelzebub

Playmate #2 right after Mammon, but he's the less excitable, more responsible one.

"Beel! Beel! Watch me jump off this slide!!" 😰 "Please don't… You could hurt yourself… You slide down slides. That's why they're called that." "*GASP*... That's right! You're a genius!!" *sits back down* "Not really, but thank you." 😊 *waits for them at the bottom*

If the MC is with Beel, they're doing one of two things. Either they're playing together or gorging themselves on junk food.

Beel actually likes "domestic" games like House and Tea Party because it's an excuse to raid the kitchen. He'll play "house-husband" all day as long as he gets to actually eat at every imaginary dinnertime.

He'll play active games too, of course. Especially action-oriented ones like "Cops and Robbers" or Superheros. No one's better at roughhousing than Beel! Though he'll go easy on them, cause they're small and all… 😅

Everyone can always tell when Beel's in charge of them because he carries them around on his shoulders. He's the tallest one of the family so it's like getting to be a giant!

Belphegor

Belphie was introduced to kid!MC when they started crying during one of his naps. They couldn't wake him and they thought he was dead… Followed directly by them declaring their tears were magic when they noticed his eyes opened.

He proceeded to close his eyes again and purposely play dead just to get them all worried again. It was the smile creeping up onto his face that eventually gave him away… 😏

He likes to play with kid!MC and Beel but he's not going to let it get in the way of his nap schedule or anything. When they play "Knights" he gets to take the role of the world's laziest dragon… Rawr.

Kid!MC will only settle down for naptime if Belphie joins too since he'll read them a book like he used to do with Lilith.

Satan's usually the go-to guy for storytime, but Belphie's a close second (largely because he just imitates what he remembers Lucifer doing for him, voices and all 🤭).

He deals with their myriad of questions by just making shit up and pretending he knows what he's talking about. It's around the time that he told them that little men live inside the freezer and shave ice cubes to keep things cold that Lucifer started getting on his case about it… Killjoy. 🙄