#I don't mind you reblogging it

[paperstarwriters]

People don't often interact with my #just thinking posts so Idk if people ever see it at all, but even then, I wanna throw this out there and just keep myself accountable.

Warning for Anxieties, implied suicidal ideation, academic stress

This is a post about some of my current struggles, I'm not talking about that in depth—the main point is more hopeful I think—but the topic is there.

there's been this song I've been listening on loop to recently; Look at the Sky by Porter Robinson. It's really sweet, and really nice and alongside, Something Comforting, Get Your Wish, and You are Enough (which, unlike the others is by Sleeping at last) it's a really uplifting and encouraging set of songs that has helped me out a lot in encouraging me through my studies.

As the semester comes to an end however, the stress continues to build and grow and with it, my panic and fear.

I have no official diagnoses, but I know well enough that there's something askew in there. A little tender part that's vulnerable to failure and stress and so many other things.

And this is why I just keep coming back to Look at the Sky.

It's the chorus.

Look at the sky, I’m still here I’ll be alive next year I can make something good, oh Something good

It reads like a promise to me. Mainly because of the second line.

I'll be alive next year.

I'll keep myself here, today so I can make it to next year.

Idk. Porter Robinson mentions how it's about the creative cycle of taking in other people's work to create a new tapestry of creativity, but I always linger on this song for my studies rather than any of my creative writing.

I'm not very good at what I'm studying at, and I can't help but associate my talent in the field with how much I should like it. The study is interesting, and when I'm not constantly worrying about failing projects or failing quizzes or failing exams, the content is fascinating and fun to learn.

But I don't do well on the assignments.

I'm not failing. I'm not so horribly behind on all my assignments that I know that I'll fail or something, but I can't help but feel the need to get at least 90% on everything. It's fear driven I think. My parents wanted that of me when I was a child. the sentiment continues to linger on in me.

I didn't do so great on a single assignment this time. It's for a project—one I need to complete in order to pass the class at all. But I messed up on the formatting and I left a few tails undone at the end. It was incredibly rushed and a miracle that I had it finished at all, but I still can't help the sickening feeling that I should have done better. Even if I was staying up way past what was healthy for me, something that would cause me general dizziness and heavy sickness later on in the day, I still felt like I should have exerted myself more to check up on it and get it nice and pretty and polished.

I haven't gotten my grade back for that assignment yet. and I can't help but feel sick thinking about it.

I know that logically, the portion of my grade that would be affected might be pretty small, and I've done pretty well in the rest of my assignments. I'll probably be able to pass the class.

Still I can't help the feeling that If I don't do perfect on every single assignment, I will fail.

I have to hand in a physical copy of the assignment tomorrow, I felt so sick going back over my digital copy— forced to look at all of my sloppy and messy mistakes. I felt fear looking at it.

I felt a lot of things, really. Nasty, dark and irrational things.

But...

I'm still here.

I'll continue to try and be here tomorrow too. And the day after that. I'll make it to next year.

And even if I don't do great in that class, I can still make it to the degree I want. It'll take a little stress and struggle, but I'll get there eventually.

And until then, I can still make good things—I can write the little stories, and one shots and fanfics that make me happy.

Look at the sky, I’m still here I’ll be alive next year I can make something good, oh Something good

I promise.

[s0up1ta]

i hate them so much

[lucky-fy]

Please enjoy :)

Two more with spoilers below

[nights-at-crystarium]

Thinking about DRK Emet..... DRK Raha would be so cool too.......

[silly-solar-robot]

oh my gosh it is SO NICE to have free time!!! here's a drawing of me that i had fun with! i wasn't sure how hard the skirt would be but surprisingly it was VERY easy!!! i hope everyone has had a lovely day!

(i am a real person! please treat me as such!! please don't tag as fnaf!)

[arotechno]

these tags have been bothering me for a few days now. i understand wanting some private time at home with your partner, but can you not see that this is EXACTLY the attitude i'm talking about?

does your third housemate ALSO get an allotted time where you and your partner have to leave, or is it only for you? is this something you coordinate on days when your housemate is already independently making other plans, or are you just expecting to be able to kick them out of the house at will like this is a college dorm room?

this isn't a situation where you are three equal parties building a life, this is you and your partner treating someone else like a third wheel you wish would go away and a money bank to help you pay your bills. if that works for all parties involved then it's no skin off my nose, but can't you see that this is literally not at all the situation that i was describing? i'll make a very personal post about how it hurts when people act like my housemates would be justified in trying to get rid of me and alloromantic people will literally be like "this sounds great—as long as i can get rid of you!" like do y'all hear yourselves. do you actually see the words when aros post or is it just static for you.

this is the way people talk about their children, how they want their children out of the house so they can have some alone time. not the way you should be talking about a fellow adult who literally pays for and whose name is on the deed of the house you all live in. aro people aren't housepets.

[northstarscowboyhat]

Haven't been uploading art as much because I'm kind of going through an art style crisis again LOL. Not very happy with my art at the moment, so I've been trying to experiment and practice!

So I've started a new project to help work out the details of my art style. Working on my take of a Deltarune Yellow setting, so have some experimental Clovers!

[calware]

thinking about doing a month-long event for the homestuck tumblr community to encourage people to make + post fanworks as well as reblog other people's fanworks.... where people can opt-in by being randomly assigned one of two teams (probably red and blue) so that each team has roughly the same amount of members. teams get points for making fanworks and having their posts reblogged, which encourages people to make posts and also reblog the posts made by their team members. and the top 3 people in each team to get the most points get some kind of reward... hmmmm

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

things we learn about mulder in s1

he wanted to be an astronaut when he was young, and stayed up all night when he was 14 to watch his hero do a walk in space

he's scared to death of fire because his friend's house burned down when he was a kid

he went to oxford 10 years before the start of s1, where he dated phoebe and they, at the very least, made out on arthur conan doyle's grave (but it's implied they went all the way)

he is a fan of like. all of the sports. i cannot keep up with them all, but he sure can

he had his first case at the age of 28, where an agent died because he wouldn't take a risky shot

(and he remembers everything about the man who died- his kids, their ages, what they do for fun- all of it haunts him)

((he also, at the trial for the man who killed the agent, screamed that he "should die like an animal, you son of a bitch"- so much for cool and composed spooky mulder))

he always falls asleep on his couch to the point where i don't even know if this man has a bed

before being moved to the x-files, he worked for 3 years at the behavioral science unit, where he profiled serial killers

(also literally no one wants him on the x files they just keep him around because he is too dangerous to fire lmao)

he will go out of his way to make any kids involved a case he's assigned to feel comfortable and/or laugh as a break from the Heavy Moments (probably because he remembers being questioned while very young and how awful it felt)

he believes that siblings have a psychic connection (heartbreaking when you remember his sister disappeared when he was 12 and he only has access to the memories due to hypnosis)

he refused to let his parents call him by his first name and only went by "mulder", even as a child

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

I know this is asking people to like, have basic empathy and therefore asking way too much, but I'd just really love if before you [general] comment anything on the current Israel/Palestine situation, you considered how you would react if the roles were reversed.

If, for example, Israeli extremists raped and butchered their way through Gaza (or the West Bank) killing 1200 Palestinian men, women, and children who had been peacefully hanging out observing a religious holiday or sleeping, and especially if they had caught the whole damn thing on film and broadcasted it and celebrated it as if this was some huge win for Jews instead of the biggest chillul Hashem possible - just think about how people would have reacted. And what if they hadn't? What if the entire Western left, up to and including the United fucking Nations had denied the sexual violence and torture? Y'all would be pretty rightfully livid, no?

And let's be honest about how the global Jewish community would react if 23,000 Jews were killed for literally any reason whatsoever. Even if they were all adult male soldiers in active combat, never mind if they were non-combatants or children? We'd shit bricks. It would not feel neutral or not targeted, no matter how objectively true that might be. As it is, every Jew I know is one degree or less of separation from someone directly affected by the October 7th attacks and that's a with a maximum of 1500 casualties and hostages involved. Can you imagine if it were 23,000? We would all be sitting shiva, with no one to answer amen during Kaddish. The reality is that killing a large amount of people from a small minority that has been persecuted throughout its history cannot be a neutral act.

Anyway please I'm begging people to reverse the roles for four seconds to re-humanize the people on the "other" side. Because the truth is that there is no "other side" - there's just the everyday people who want to live in safety, dignity, freedom and justice with their families and friends. And then there's the small minority of very powerful groups and individuals who actively benefit from the conflict continuing. And the faster that those of us who aren't Israeli or Palestinian realize this, the sooner we will be able to effectively support the people on the ground seeking lasting solutions that benefit the majority of the population.

[ducktracy]

Crayon Shin-chan: Great Adventure in Henderland (1996)

Directed by Mitsuru Hongo Written by Mitsuru Hongo and Keiichi Hara Storyboards by Mitsuru Hongo, Keiichi Hara and Masaaki Yuasa

[remyfire]

Do you ever wish you could hire Hawkeye Pierce to come in and lambast a group of people on your behalf?

[milolovesbmc]

I would block everyone on Falsettos tiktok making jokes about Whizzer's death/aids/both. But then I don't think there'd be anyone left... Falsettos tiktok really needs to hurry up and leave those behind

[galaxy-lilies]

c!Quackity pulling up to prison like

A remake of a classic

[crimeronan]

bi people tagging the joke fagdyke kinsey scale post about how they wish there were more slurs for bi people because they can't be a dyke or a faggot..... baby Please.....

straight people have NEVER cared about whether you experience exclusively homosexual attraction when they hurl slurs out of passing cars. those words ARE your slurs if you want 'em.

[moonchild-in-blue]

I just got the biggest jumpscare of my life, so naturally had to run here real quick.

STOP BEING OMINOUS BABYGIRL 😭