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#I don't want to question if I could've done more or tried harder etc. I did my very best and didn't lie cheat steal or whatever
the-cooler-king
·
16 days
Text
Oh yeah..... midnight gospel be hitting.... sitting in my bed fuckin. Crying. Get a grip girl
#Its the trudy ep which is actually the episode that made me keep watching
#I love love love this episode.....
#Something about how.......... idk.... its a very profound ep that I can't explain and it's a nice cry
#This ep kind of shaped my outlook on life especially after finding out about my friend dying
#All the regrets and things left unsaid.... I make my peace daily by being really straight up
#If I love and care about ppl I tell them... I say they are appreciated and cared for man
#I am always thankful for people and I *love* people as a whole
#And as long as the people around me intrinsically know that they are loved and cared for and cherished.... like that's it
#That's the end game truly
#I will never ever be sorry for that. This was THEEEE episode.
#There's a lot of nuance behind my feelings best described by revolutionary girl utena
#But still. I'm deep enough in my tags bc I'm crying over my s/o but not in a bad way
#Fml I am so grateful to him as just an entity. As a person in my life even if our lives only intersect for this brief period of time
#He hasn't been texting me much and we didn't talk much at work and I didn't even get a goodbye (rude lol)
#But I know he was having a rough day. I know he needs a bit of tlc.
#He could be on a downswing because I am certainly on an upswing
#So I'm kind of like trying to focus on doing my own thing rn without worrying about it
#Because I can't do anything about it so I might as well continue My Thang
#But as I sometimes come to terms with us never talking again (gotta be prepared at all times to be ghosted)
#I also come back to terms with needing him to really understand
#how many people in his life depend on love cherish and admire him
#And im not just talking about me... he has a lot of siblings and a not great mom. Two kids he loves.
#He has always taken care of everyone else in his life
#He deserves to really know and idk. It makes me think of this moment.
#Realizing how much I dont ever want to question if he knows
#I don't want to question if I could've done more or tried harder etc. I did my very best and didn't lie cheat steal or whatever
#I am so grateful to him for letting me have that. Even if nothing can come from it in the end
#Even if we should be torn apart!!!! Take my revolution!!!
#Anyways. Here's wonderwall
#Banger of an episode. Worth the rewatch
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