#I forgot how fun it is to write gleefully horrible characters

[ask-post-dgs2-crew]

...

...😳

...

...😱!!!

M... M- Mr Asman!!

Well I never imagined this! That this unusual postbox would allow for a contact with the afterlife!

🤯 H- Hello! I- I'm Nos E. Prick, reporting for The Daily Circus, sir! Oh, you sir, have no idea! You are a myth, a legend amongst us young journalists!

QUESTION!!!: What is the secret to effectively utilizing 🎩 gentleman power🎩 to achieve one's life goals?

With great admiration! 😍

Mr Nos E. Prick

Dear Mr. Prick,

It is wonderful to hear from someone who holds me in the regard I have earned over the course of my life. I do not understand the mechanics by which the living are able to contact me in this afterlife, nor have I really figured out how to contact others undead, but I am happy that I was able to hear from an upstanding young man as yourself.

I cannot speak on just any life path, but I do know how to achieve one's goals if such goals are in the esteemed field of journalism. The advice I will give will be obvious, though not easy to follow.

You must do anything you can in order to get the news. You may find yourself causing scandals anonymously so that you can be the one to have the first story out about it. You can bend the truth if it would benefit you, because outright lies are far easier to prove than simple exaggerations.

Involve yourself with those who make headlines. Politicians, criminals, wealthy men... anyone who can give you a leg up on the competitors. Create good relationships with those who are in the thick of conflict or scandal, and they will tell you about it. Do not be afraid to portray their side of the story. Outrage still pays the bills. If you desire more advice, I could go on and on, though I would hate to bore you.

Yours, Odie Asman