#I genuinely have no idea what this is or how to tag it PFFFFFF-

[emmyrosee]

“Do you think this boy is cute?”

“We’re literally engaged to be married,” he says, not missing a beat or sparing you a glance. “Don’t you think it’s a little late to be looking at boys, thinking they’re cute?”

He sees you pout, and he smirks slightly. “Baaaabe,” you whine. “This is different! He’s so yummy! He’s like, perfect! And he’s soooo cute-“

“You’re feral,” he grumbles, brows furrowed in annoyance, only slightly offended you’re using his accolades to describe someone else. He turns towards the phone wagging in his face, and he grips your wrist to see who you’re referring to. “Who the hell-“ On screen is a puppy- of course- with an adoption link attached just below it; it’s pink tongue hangs out the side, big brown eyes fixated on whoever’s taking the picture, and he feels himself relax and shake his head at you.

“Tch,” he scoffs, going back to his phone. “Man, I don’t stand a chance against that guy.”

Bakugou Katsuki (but like. 98% more violent), Hitoshi Shinsou, OSAMU MIYA, Atsumu Miya, SAKUSA KIYOOMI, SUNA RINTARO, TOORU OIKAWA, HAJIME IWAIZUMI, Matsukawa Issei, Kyotani Kentaro, Kuroo Tetsuro, Kageyama Tobio, NISHINOYA YUU, TANAKA RYU, Tsukishima Kei, Semi Eita

[thepizzalovingturtle]

Tag 8 People Who Are Actually Secretly Putting You On Their Hitlist

Eh @dreadangel​ tagged me so that means that he’s planning to assassinate me later.  R.I.P. 

How old are you? I need it for...research purposes...

Never ask a turtle their age.  It’s manners 101. 

What’s your job when you're not wasting away on tumblr?  

My job consists of a steady training regimen of fighting Dex Muldoon in LISA The Pointless, but when I’m not doing that, I’m technically supposed to work as a part-time janitor.  (Uh but it’s a cover-up for being a spy tapping in to all of my follower’s and following’s computers to steal their files don’t tell anyone)

What are some of your talents?

Pffffff! Hahahahaha!

What’s your A E S T H E T I C ?

I assume that means favorite food. Probably cheeseburgers.

Do you have a compulsory disorder to- I mean, do you collect things?

I collect tears from myself every time I look in the mirror.

What do you never shut up about? My own delusions of grandeur, uh, always sneaking in the fact that I have stories no one likes to read anymore, uh, the best Squid Sister being Cap'n Cuttlefish, etc.

What annoys you? I'll tell you what annoys me, these MEMES THAT KEEP CLOGGING UP MY FEED- Legitimately, the sound rubber or any soft and smooth surface makes when it's wet and is rubbed on something hurts my ears. I have no idea why. Maybe I was attacked by rubber pirates when I was little and have PTSD from that day.

Do you have any advice or are you just a goose?

There is no advice. Life is pointless. It's painful. But unless you do something to make it joyful for yourself, you're not going to be hopeful.

But first, before trying to fail at being happy, I'd recommend buying LISA The Painful on Steam for only ten dollars.

What's your JAAAAAAAM?!

Um, obviously the Patapon 2 soundtrack, and it’s chorus of little eyeballs chiming in every five seconds, that only gets awkward if you listen to it in public. 

Let’s see, um, SiivaGunner. 

The sounds of Team Fortress 2 and Counter-Strike, oh man, I love micspammers and digital DJs running their mic 24/7.  That wasn’t a joke sometimes I genuinely enjoy the songs they play. 

Peanut-butter. 

And that one time where the printer failed in my parent’s room. 

Tagging no one, because I’m depressed and have no friends.  :(