#I hate spending money I hate spending money I hate spending money I hate spending money I hate spending money

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Clownfall: the Election Cometh

It's a long one, lads. Buckle up, get comfy, but the circus is in town for its final run. Ambient music as you read can be found here or here, take your pick. Get popcorn. Get snacks and water and a blanket.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Wednesday 22nd May

7.12am

Household favourite and queen of our hearts Pippa Crerar of the Guardian (her who did the investigative journalism that revealed PartyGate to the world) reports that UK inflation fell to a mere, paltry 2.3% in April.  The lowest level in three years!  Huzzah! But … still smaller than the decline that was expected. 

Nonetheless, Rishi Sunak and Jeremy Cunt whoops I'm so sorry I meant Cunt haha whoops said it again make a big fuss about how brilliant this news is, and how it shows that they are Good At Maffs after all that trouble with Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng, who defined themselves as being Good At Maffs and then obliterated the economy in a single day.  Remember that! Good times. But hey, look, THIS PM/Grand Vizier combo are great at this! Inflation has fallen! Stop looking at the predicted rate! A fall is still a fall!

Crerar wonders whether people will actually feel better off, though – prices and mortgage rates are still high, after all. Food for thought.

10.04am

Jeremy Hunt is asked on the Today programme whether Sunak will call a general election.

Now, the logic here is that the government is likely to do better in an election if the economy’s improving; which, SunakCunt are now shrieking from the rooftops. So, is now the time? It's a win, and they've had so few of those, but historically people really do like to fall for the right wing = better economy myth... 

BUT – the Tories are doing so very badly in the polls.  Journalists favour the idea of an autumn election.  Tories do better when the weather’s bad, because fewer people go out and vote.

 “Well that’s a matter for the prime minister, it’s not a matter for me,” says Cunt. 

... Well.  Not ruling it out, then? Diddorol.

10.30am

It's Wednesday, aka the date that Tory cabinet ministers have their weekly meeting. They are duly sent the agenda.

There is no mention at all of an election announcement, nor any plan for an election.

Fair enough! 'Twas an idle thought. Plus, it would actually be bad timing from a logistical perspective - David Cameron, Foreign Secretary and Bae of Pigs, is currently flying out to Albania for an important international meeting, and Jeremy Cunt is on TV all day today - ITV next.

12.18pm

Sunak is asked at Prime Minister’s Questions whether he’ll call a general election.  He doesn’t rule it out.

12.56pm

Fun tweet alert!

2.31pm

Pippa Crerar asked Sunak’s press secretary whether he was calling an election.  She refused to comment.

Surely it’s a terrible time to call an election! Everyone hates them!  But suddenly …

A Cabinet meeting is scheduled for 4.15pm.  David Hameron suddenly u-turns in Albania and comes straight back home, his meeting un-met.  Jeremy Cunt cancels his ITV appearance.  The afternoon meeting is cancelled. Number 10 stops responding to journalists.  Manifesto work has stepped up.  Sunak’s chief-of-staff is spotted wearing a suit and tie WHICH IS UNUSUAL.  Senior ministers have spent the last few days doubling down on dividing lines.  And Tory bosses had a meeting this week to discuss how much money they could spend before a summer election.

The UK press sense blood in the water.

3pm

Okay.

There’s something you need to understand:

People suspect Rishi Sunak doesn’t actually want to live in the UK.  He’d prefer to be in California.  He’s here because he’s an MP.

You need to know this to understand this truly historic incident.

Nadine Dorries has produced a good tweet.

...

...

...

No, we all need to sit with this one for a minute

(For the record... to us, that is an excellent joke. But I strongly suspect she wasn't joking and was trying to make a catty accusation instead, which coincidentally appeared like a roast.

Scientists are referring to this as Stopped Clock Syndrome.)

5.17pm

With great dignity, Rishi Sunak stands outside Number 10 and announces a general election on 4 July.

And by “great dignity”, I mean he’s soaked by rain, while “Things Can Only Get Better” plays in the background courtesy of an anti-Tory protestor with a big speaker and a dream; the song adopted by he Labour Party for the 1997 election, where Tony Blair famously won a landslide victory after 18 years of Tory rule. Eventually, the volume of it is raised so high Sunak is, on more than one level, drowned out.

5.37pm

According to Gabriel Pogrund of the Times, Labour can’t believe Number 10 allowed this to happen.

One Labour insider texts: “Umbrellas are woke”

6.06pm

Good tweet alert!

8pm

A later Guardian article reports that Sunak greeted around a hundred Tory activists – still wearing the same rain-soaked trousers from the announcement.

No word at all on why he doesn't have aides capable of fetching him dry trousers. Perhaps those, too, are woke.

8.14pm

A Sky News reporter is at Sunak’s campaign launch.  But, bafflingly, he’s forcibly removed.  Extraordinary scenes

Elanor's Pro Tip: Removing a journalist may not be the best PR move for the start of an election trail.

8.27pm

9.36pm

A GBNews reporter claims that some Tory MPs are trying desperately to replace Sunak as leader in order to call off the general election.  For this to work, they’d need a vote of no confidence before the dissolution of parliament on Thursday 30 May.  Except actually, that would have to happen before the proroguing of parliament on Friday 24 May.

So … this won’t work.  But how very incredible - and hilarious - that they’re trying.

10.39pm

Let's take a look at the evening headlines!

A great start to Sunak’s campaign, with newspapers - including the Tory giant The Telegraph - celebrating the triumphant launch of his campaign:

Well! WHAT a day! Let's see how Thursday goes.

Thursday 23 May

8.00am

The BBC takes a moment to gleefully throw off the shackles of political oppression of the last 12 years to reveal that Rishi Sunak's announcement of a July election, the single most important announcement for a sitting government, the most sensitive and vitally-timed event in their calendar...

Was a total surprise to the rest of the party.

Tory party MPs found out when we did that they were about to have to campaign again. For a snap GE. Three weeks after having just done it for the council elections, in which they experienced the greatest single loss of their councillors in history. Even the damn meeting agenda was fake.

Still. Perhaps this explains the lack of umbrella or trousers.

9.09am

Nigel Farage confirms he will NOT stand at the general election. 

*pause for applause*

That’s because he’s helping Trump get re-elected in the US right now.

*pause for screams*

This is good news for the Tories!  And the rest of Britain, actually (commiserations to America. Please shoot him). Farage’s right-wing populist party - Reform UK - is the spiritual successor to UKIP and the Brexit Party, who’ve been splitting the right-wing vote for years.  Farage is popular; it’s bad news for Reform if he’s not part of their campaign, but simply fantastic news for those of us who think queer folks, women and people of colour deserve human rights.

9.19am

According to BBC News and others, Sunak has hired Isaac Levido, the election strategist behind the Tories’ landslide win in 2019.  Levido knows his stuff, and advised Sunak to stick with an autumn election.

Sunak ignored this advice.  Lol.

9.20am

In the Guardian, Sunak says there WON’T be planes of immigrants flying to Rwanda before the general election.  Good news for those of us who think it’s monstrous to deport immigrants to countries with unsafe governments.  Bad news for Tory voters who were hoping to get racists to vote for them.

Now, this is particularly funny, because promising to deport refugees to Rwanda in spite of overwhelming legal opposition on human rights grounds is probably the single hill that the Tories have chosen to commit genocide on. This bill has been in and out of every court in the land since they promised it in 2019. It's been on again off again more than a tawdry tabloid romance. But, they finally managed to push it through, and the first planes were set to fly in July.

This means! That Sunak's strongest cards going into the election were the drop in inflation, and the Rwanda bill. He could sell it as "In spite of those bleeding heart liberals, we persevered and managed to tenaciously get rid of these browns and thus fulfilled our promise", and the fact that it won't actually affect the immigration numbers wouldn't be clear until after the election. And make no mistake, it is VITAL that those planes fly before any election - quoth one influential Conservative MP on the right of the party to the BBC:

“I know what question you’re going to ask us again and again. "You’ll say we’ve been banging on about Rwanda for years and we’ve only managed to fly one migrant out there - and we paid him to go”.

It took a single day for that gamble to dramatically fail.

Lol. Lmao, even. One might almost say rofl.

9.21am

Sunak is emphasising his own role in managing the economy.

The Guardian’s Rowena Mason points out that it might be better to sell this as a Tory victory rather than a Sunak victory, considering how badly Sunak’s doing as an individual in the polls.

10.45am

I'm obviously giving a lot of attention here to the funniest and most ridiculous stuff, but let’s take a moment to celebrate some genuinely brilliant journalism:

0_o

The whole article’s worth reading. It confirms that at least one more hi-vis wearer was a Tory councillor in disguise (in this case Ben Hall-Evans). Perhaps this is why they started by removing all the real journalists.

12.42pm

Sunak’s campaign takes him to a brewery in Wales!  He attempts some Bonding With The Working Man and asks the workers if they’re excited for the football.

Top tip: if you don’t realise the country you’re in hasn’t qualified for the Euros, maybe don’t even mention the subject.

6.55pm

... here is a new problem. Ish.

As mentioned, three weeks ago, England held local council elections. In that time, the Tories lost over half their councillors; an unprecedented and staggering loss in one event. We are all still bathing in the schadenfreude.

But, many of those then left the party (probably fairly, actually - monsters though Tories are, that cannot have been fun.) But, the way politics in the UK works is that when you vote, you don't vote for the party - you vote for your local representative, and then it's a numbers game as to which party gets to rule. This means, with this sudden last-minute possibly-impulsively-declared-by-one-soggy-madman election now six weeks away, those candidates all need replacing so that the Tories will have a shot at getting the numbers they need to form a majority government.

Channel 4’s Paul McNamara reports that Conservative HQ have emailed asking for candidates in almost 100 seats.  The deadline’s tight for this – and apparently, joining the lengthening list of people who weren't informed of this stupid election plan, Tory associations are livid at being left so unprepared.

Now, a lot of these seats are Labour strongholds, so you don’t necessarily need more than a token Tory candidate for them. Phew! A great relief.

But some of them are actually good Tory seats. Uh oh!  Basildon, Bury St Edmunds, Wellingborough and Rushden …  It’s a bad hit to the Tories to have so little time to find good candidates for these seats.

8.59pm

Labour launch a campaign video.  It’s long, but the message is, “Remember life before the Tories got into power?  Wasn’t it BRILLIANT?”

And to prove how great 2009 was, they’ve included a clip of David Tennant’s Dr Who saying “I don’t want to go.”

Lol.

9.57pm

Filmmaker Richard Cubitt jokily suggests he could stand as a Tory candidate, and immediately defect to Labour as soon as possible once elected.

I don’t know if the deadline’s closed, but I am now speaking to the chat. Lads: the time will never be better. Do it. Tell the Tories you'll stand for them. Immediately defect. You have the opportunity to do the funniest thing. Be the rot in the barrel. The time is now.

ANYWAY. Oh boy. Day one of campaigning was quite bad. Ah well! Onwards and upwards for Wali Heb Broli. Let's see what Friday brings.

And of course: the losses are staggering (100 candidates!), but it could be worse.

At least it's not senior MPs.

Friday 24 May

7.00am

Over 70 MPs confirm they will not be standing for re-election.

7.35am

It’ll be lovely to see this election get rid of some truly awful Tories.  But no need to wait that long!  John Redwood stands down.  I haven't mentioned him before, but let's look at his clownface eggshell.

He opposed reducing the age of consent for homosexuality in 1994 and 1999, he voted to keep Section 28 in 2003, he opposed same sex marriage, he voted to reintroduce the death penalty in 1988, 1990 and 1994, he’s argued against Greta Thunberg over the UK’s climate emissions.

Although English, he became Secretary of State for Wales in 1993, and at a Tory conference, had to mime badly to the Welsh national anthem which he hadn’t bothered learning.  In 1995, he cheated Wales out of a £100 million grant by returning it unspent to the treasury, so it could go back to England.

So, John – if by some fantastically rare chance you’re somehow reading this – it’s wonderful to see you step down.  I wish you a very warm fuck you.  And I hope the rest of your life is absolutely horrible and filled with immeasurable pain. Kisses.

7.58am

Vicky Spratt of the i newspaper announces that, with an election announced, the Renters’ Reform won’t pass.

This is a big deal, actually - this was a rare good promise in the Tories’ 2019 manifesto to protect renters by ending no-fault evictions.  A good promise!  With cross-parliamentary support, only slowed as much as it was because most Tory backbenchers are landlords and so tried to block it. But the fighting raged on, and it was finally agreed.

And now it’s broken.  Wasting months of work by stakeholders, and thus forming another election promise that would have sailed through if only the election hadn't been called for July.

8.09am

Jeremy Corbyn – remember him? Former Labour leader, who was expelled from the Labour party in 2020 – confirms he’ll be standing as an independent.  He’s continued to be a member of Labour despite being an independent MP – but standing against Labour in an election means he’ll have his membership revoked too.

9.26am

So where are we at? How do you reckon the normal Tories in the party are faring? Do you think they're positive of a win? Do you think they expect to lose?

Great Guardian article here:

Highlights - one government minister happened to bump into his equivalent opposition member, and immediately thrust his official folder towards them, saying, “You might as well have this now.”

Another Tory MP hugged a Labour colleague and cast their arm around the room.  “Good luck.  This is all yours.”

One Tory backbencher was asked if it was a good idea to call an election.  “It’s a disaster. I can’t understand it.”

Even when they’re being optimistic, the Tories seem a little glum.  One long-standing MP said: “Of course I’m going to fight it, I don’t believe in just giving up like the prime minister has obviously decided to.”

A former minister raises an interesting point.  It’s not long, after all, since the Tories suffered those major defeats at the local council elections.  That's impacted the number of candidates, of course - but, local canvassing is largely done, on all parts of the political spectrum, but activist volunteers.

That loss was three weeks ago. If you were a volunteer who just spent weeks knocking on the doors of your neighbours and community, trying to convince them to vote for the dead horse, and then lost – maybe you won’t feel like hitting the streets again so soon. Maybe you'd prefer to be able to meet your neighbours' eyes when you bump into them in the bread slicing queue at Morrisons.

Some MPs have even admitted they won’t be cancelling holiday plans to fight the election.  On top of that, there's over 70 MPs that have already confirmed they’re quitting and won’t be seeking re-election!!! Absolute scenes.

Interestingly, some anti-Sunak Tories report frustration.  They reckon they were close to calling a vote of no-confidence, in the hopes of replacing Sunak with a different leader.  No idea if this is true – and if true, whether Sunak knew it. But given the panicked speed at which it seems to have been called...

11.08am

The campaign takes Rishi Sunak to the Titanic Quarter, to be interviewed by Belfast Live.

Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t let journalists interview you on a site named after history’s most famous sinking ship.

11.57am

How’s the campaign going, Rishi?

Oh, Rishi. Looks like someone else is not meeting anyone's eyes in the bread-slicing queue.

1.12pm

Politics UK reports that 75 Tory MPs are now standing down at the election – the same number of Tories who stood down ahead of the 1997 election.

2.49pm

Sunak’s campaign takes him on board an aeroplane.

Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t be photographed in front of an exit sign.

7.07pm

MICHAEL GOVE ANNOUNCES HE’S STANDING DOWN AS AN MP!

I could honestly use that gif like seventeen times in this write up. You can all thank me for my restraint in choosing just one.

The 79th Tory to do so at this election – an all-time record exodus.  Hey gang, would you like to see some familiar names joining him in this?

Theresa May

Sajid Javid

Dominic Raab

Matt Hancock

Ben Wallace

Nadhim Zahawi.

It’s just … not a great sign for the party, is it? That so many prominent MPs don’t reckon it’s worth sticking around.

7.50pm

Hey, remember those parody videos of Hitler getting angry with funny subtitles?  Someone made a good Sunak one:

10.48pm

The Guardian’s Kiran Stacey reports that Sunak will retreat from the campaign trail, spending the next day at home.

Honestly... that's probably best. Let him recover from the bread excitement.

10.50pm

We round off the day with Andrea Leadsom announcing she too is standing down as an MP. Bye, bitch.

WHAT A DAY! Still, Saturday will probably be better.

Saturday 25 May

12am

New episode of Doctor Who drops! It contains Welsh faeries. I later write a post explaining this. You're all welcome. Back to the circus.

10.06am

Good tweet alert!

11.14am

Keir Starmer promises to lower the voting age from 18 to 16 if he wins the election.

2.43pm

Hey remember how David Hameron was supposed to be in Albania? And actually went there? And then had to come back because of Rishi's totally-planned-for election announcement?

The Mirror reports that David Cameron spent £60,000 of taxpayers’ money getting to Albania for that trip.  He was there for 89 minutes, before he had to come back in light of the general election announcement.

This means it cost the country £674 a minute for Cameron to be in Albania for about as long as it takes to watch The Lion King.

6.14pm

Labour and the Tories put candidates forward for 650 seats in a general election.

Of course, that's not quite all of them. The Times’ Patrick Maguire understands that Labour have only 13 candidates left to select, which is pretty good.  The Tories are missing slightly more than that. 

They need to find around 190.

(The number is rising. Chat, you know what to do.)

9.29pm

According to the Telegraph, Theresa May has said if she was still PM she would have used an umbrella to declare the election.

She probably would have, too.

10.11pm

Now then!!! Gather round boys and girls and all the rest!

Remember: the election was called based upon the following main cards in Sunak's hand:

The Rwanda bill

Inflation falling

The Renter's Reform Bill

Inflation fell, but not by as much as it should have. The Rwanda plan fell through a day later. The election itself has blocked the Renter's Reform bill.

Rishi needs a new set of promises stat, in order to shore up votes from his most important bastions of support. What can he offer?

The evening brings the answer!

At 10.11pm - note the time - in spite of having taken the day off, Sunak promises mandatory national service for every 18 year old if he wins the election.  Either a year-long army placement, or a weekend a month volunteering for a year.

Sounds like a good pledge, if you’re hoping to motivate 18-year-olds to vote against you.

10.16pm

The Financial Times’ Jim Pickard reveals that the National Citizen Service (David Cameron’s legacy project) had its funding slashed by two-thirds in a 2022 review of government youth funding - when the chancellor was Rishi Sunak.

Five minutes.  That’s how long it took a journalist to melt Sunak’s new pledge.

Still; Tories never let facts get in the way.

10.27pm

Politics UK reports that leaked documents suggest teenagers would be jailed for refusing this national service.

11.47pm

Sunak's bad ideas generator works hard, but the meme makers of the internet work harder:

Still. Sunday is a day of rest! Hopefully Sunday will be better.

Sunday 26 May

9.50am

Let’s check the Sunday tweets.

Starting to think whoever is in charge of optics for Rishi Sunak may be a Labour plant.

10.21am

Fantastic tweet alert:

I Agree With Gabby

3pm

And then... PLOT TWIST!!!

FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Sunak’s national service pledge - including assigning up to 30,000 18-year-olds to the military - was rejected this week by one of his own defence ministers.

Defence personnel minister Andrew Murrison warned of a hit to morale, headcount and resources if “potentially unwilling national service recruits” were introduced alongside Britain’s professional armed forces.

EVEN THE ARMY DON'T WANT THIS.

6.47pm

And then:

Incredible story from Gabriel Pogrund of the Times.

St Paul’s School, if you haven't heard of it, is an expensive and famous private school in England somewhere (I forget where and don't care).  As with other private schools, they’d be subject post-election to a Labour plan to remove their VAT exemption.

Tory MP Greg Hands took matters into his own Greg hands, and messaged the school’s parents’ WhatsApp group to try and drum up anti-Labour sentiment.

I can see the logic. These are parents with money, who have chosen to send their children to a private school that often means an easy track into politics generally and the Tory party specifically. I see why he thought he was safe.

Tumblrs, he was not safe.

Parents intervened, complaining about Hands spamming the chat, and claiming his use of the chat was “inappropriate”.

One parent messaged: “Can we stop assuming everyone is a Tory in this group.  A return to more morality, less corruption and more social conscience in British politics is not something to oppose necessarily.”

Another expressed that some parents will “feel it is hard to defend private schools being vat exempt.”

Ouch. Swing and a miss, Greg Hands.

Anyway. New week, new campaigning. I am writing this on Tuesday, and so our tale is nearly at an end for now; so let's see what happened on Monday.

Monday 27 May (Yesterday)

7.40am

Britain's teenagers respond to the national service plan. I love this tweet and the video it reposts:

And here, for your viewing pleasure, is the video:

8.17am

Tory MP Steve Baker (more on him later) actually tweets a public criticism of Sunak’s national service plan.  You might be thinking "Well yes, obviously"! But no! For you see, when approaching elections, parties need to be united. Divided parties generally find it harder to win elections.

Naughty Steve.

8.41am

Foreign Office Minister Anne-Marie Trevelyan, having seen the absolute shambles of Sunak’s campaigning, wakes up this fine Monday morn and invites him to hold her beer.

Appearing on Times Radio, she’s asked whether the parents of teenagers could be prosecuted if the teens refuse to take up national service.

And she doesn’t rule it out.

NO BUT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANNE-MARIE. IS THIS YOUR FIRST DAY OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Parents are NOT prosecuted for any wrongdoing of their ADULT CHILDREN.  How do you not understand this basic legal concept. The answer to that question was “no”!  You say “no” because it makes your party more likely to be elected, and you say “no” because the answer is no.

Oh dear. What a gaffe, as the papers say. Gosh, I really hope Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe stays contained.

8.56am

The Telegraph duly reports that parents of 18-year-olds might be fined if their children refuse national service.

Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe did not stay contained.

10.55am

Looks like the Tories are unhappy that the press revealed that Sunak took a day off from campaigning.

But that’s okay, they have a new strategy!  Reported by Politico, they’ve decided to suggest that Keir Starmer is too old to be a good Prime Minister.

They called him “weary” yesterday afternoon;

Tory Party Chair Richard Holden says it’s “bizarre” for Starmer to rest at home the day before a speech (but not for Rishi to - ? You know what, never mind);

A Tory aide tells the Sun that Starmer should be dubbed “Sir Sleepy” (what a Zinger, as those conscripted into national service say);

Another Tory aide calls Starmer “Sleepy Keir” according to the FT.

Keir Starmer is 61 years old.

11.17am

Let's check Tory candidate numbers!!!

Now last we looked it was 190, but obviously, as this is possibly their most urgent priority, they've been working flat out and recruiting across the land and so they have, fair play, managed to reduce that number.

The Spectator therefore reports that the Tories have 12 days to select 160 candidates.  Would you like to see the maths?

This means, on average, they need to select one candidate every 100 minutes.  Which is slightly less time than it takes to watch Toy Story 3.

#ChatYouKnowWhatToDo

12.41pm

The FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Tory HQ has accidentally sent out an email criticising Tory MPs for failing to campaign, and warning of financial concerns in some seats.

Cannot stress this enough: even if the Tory campaign was going really well and they were predicting a landslide their way, this would be a terrible blow.

5.02pm

The Mirror reports that Tory MP Steve Baker is on holiday in Greece.  That’s pretty irresponsible, isn’t it?  What does Baker have to say for himself?

"The Prime Minister told everyone we could go on holiday and then called a snap election. So I've chosen to do my campaign work in Greece."

… this is the greatest Tory campaign in history.

(And once again... when exactly did you decide to do this, Rishi?)

5.15pm

In an absolutely baffling move whose motives I still cannot entirely fathom, Tory MP Lucy Allan - a repugnant, malignant liar of a woman who once altered an email from a constituent so she could claim it contained a death threat against her - is suspended by the party, for telling voters in her ward to vote for Reform UK instead of the Tories.

...

...

...

...wwwhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

6.18pm

Good tweet alert! Here's political journalist Jonn Elledge:

6.30pm

Meanwhile, a Tory chooses to contact journalist Theo Usherwood over WhatsApp, criticising the election strategist Isaac Levido:

Now this is particularly interesting, because Levido is the guy who managed to swing the last GE to BlowJo, even though Labour were riding high on Corbyn. And I don't know, maybe he is actually shit at this and all that was luck.

I just... wouldn't have said he was the reason for this one going the way it is. Necessarily.

Finally, let's finish off Monday with a last good tweet:

10.06pm

***

That's all for now, folks! Thank you for reading, enjoy the circus playing out this week!

[muwapsturniolo]

✯𝐁𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐢✯

Matt x earthyboho! Reader (platonic only!!)

IN WHICH…after flaking on his friends 1 million party, Matt spends time with Chris’s girlfriend, Y/n.

WARNINGS: mentions of anxiety, self-deprecation, smoking, drinking, I think that’s it.

yall can thank @mattslolita & @thenickgirl because i didn't want this fic to see the light of day but they wanted it.

It was a late Saturday night and Y/n was currently in her living room having her annual wine night.

The sound of Pink Floyd’s money was flowing through the speakers as she danced around the living room, blunt in her mouth and wine glass in the other.

“I’m alright jack keep your hands off my st-'' She stops her singing when her phone rings. She smiles seeing her boyfriend’s name flash across the screen.

“Hi baby, everything ok?” She flops down on to her couch, wine glass still in her hand. Chris smiles seeing her in her eccentric state.

“Yeah everything’s fine I just have a favor to ask. You can definitely say no, but I thought I’d ask anyway.” She hums and takes a sip of her wine.

“So like, we have Tara’s party to go to tonight and Matt is supposed to come but he’s in a funk. He’s been like this all week and I’m positive it’s his anxiety. Do you think he could go to your tonight? I know it’s a big favor to ask because you two have never been alone, but I know you deal with anxiety and I just don’t want Matt to be alone tonight.”

The question throws her off.

She has never hung out with Chris’s brothers without Chris present. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to, she just didn’t see the need for it if Chris wasn’t there. However, Chris was asking her to do so out of love and she can’t deny him that.

“Sure, yeah that’s fine.”

The call ends after the two exchange plans and 'I love yous'. About an hour and a half later, her doorbell rings. She walks through the foyer, humming along to the fading music, and opens the door.

“Hey…” Matt trails off awkwardly. He feels bad having to show up at his brother's girlfriend's house like a child needing to be watched. He planned on staying home after dropping his brothers off, but Chris demanded that he go to Y/n's

So here he is.

“Hey, come in.”

She steps to the side and allows him inside. Usually, she would grab her stick of palo santo and cleanse him down, but she could tell that he doesn’t have a bad bone in his body and needs comfort, not an energy cleansing.

Matt kicks off his shoes and follows her through the big home. Matt looks around in amazement, he knew Y/n was a bit of a hippie, but not to this extent.

He feels safe in her home, surrounded by multiple shades of browns, greens, and oranges. The multiple paintings and posters on the walls, the vases of many shapes and sizes.

It was something out of a movie, but he loved it.

As they walk further into the house, he hears the tune of a familiar song he can’t place his finger on.

“Sorry for the mess, it’s my wine night. Did you want a glass? It’s blueberry!” Matt looks to the wine bottle on the table, accompanied by a bong, and a few other knickknacks.

“Don’t apologize, I intruded on your night. Not like you were expecting to babysit a grown man.” He mumbles.

Y/n frowns at his words, “I don’t see it as babysitting. I see it as you needing a friend. We may not actually be friends, but this is a chance to start.” He smiles softly at her comforting words. He eyes the orange beanbag in the corner and immediately wants to sit on it. It was huge and looked more comforting than his own bed ever had. Y/n sees him eyeing the bean bag and motions to it, “You can sit on it. Make yourself at home.”

Matt doesn’t have to be told twice, immediately sitting down on the bean bag. Oddly, it seems like most of the pressure on his shoulders has been released, the softness of the on-ground chair aiding in that.

Y/n watches silently as Matt closes his eyes and fades into the beanbag. She could tell he had a lot going on in his head, and she hated it for him. She knew all too well what it was like to be fighting your own thoughts, and she felt like she owed it to Chris to help his brother.

She stands up from the couch and walks over to her vinyl's, getting ready to switch them out. “You have a lot of vinyl's.” Matt’s voice rings out.

“I’ve collected a bunch over the years, I blame my mom and dad for the obsession...Chris got me a few of these as well.” A smile graces her face as she thinks about her parents, she decides to call them soon.

“Did you want to pick one?” She offers. Matt stands up from the bean and walks over to the collection of crates.

He sees a few familiar artists, never listening to their music but recognizing their faces. “I’ll be honest, I don’t really know any of these people.” She hums and looks at the crates before looking back to Matt, “Did you want to hook your phone up and play music? I won’t mind but, I will request something soft. I’m not a fan of loud music when it’s late.” Matt nods and the two immediately hook his phone up.

He clicks on a playlist and the soft sound of Fleetwood Mac fills the room. “Oo good choice. I love Stevie Nicks.”

Matt lets out a sigh of relief hearing her words. He was a bit self-conscious when playing music for other people, scared they would judge him. It wasn't like he listened to rap every day, he tended to branch out at times, finding solace in the slower songs.

“Did you want a glass of wine?” She offers once again, already pouring herself another glass. “Sure, I don’t think I’ve ever had wine before.” He says sitting up.

Y/n pours him a glass before handing it to him, “This is my favorite. It’s cheap but it tastes like juice.” He smells it before taking a sip, humming at the sweet taste.

A few glasses later the two are laughing and talking, the conversation flowing easier now that their heads are heavy and their bodies are light.

“How come you didn’t want to go to Tara’s party?” It’s as if her words flip a switch in Matt’s brain, his body tensing as he falls silent.

“Why are you asking? I know Chris told you why.” His words come out a bit snappy making Y/n tap her leg anxiously. “Well, he did... But I want to hear it from you…I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or like I was all in your business.”

The two sit in a pregnant silence before Y/n speaks up once again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

It takes a moment for Matt to speak,

“I'm sick and tired of fighting. I wasn’t born to fight, maybe a small part of me is but I can’t do it anymore….I want to run away from the thoughts in my head and the problems in life but it's like I'm stuck, my legs no longer working, leaving me to be crushed.”

Y/n listens closely to his words, not wanting to interrupt him. She figures it’s best for him to speak his mind since it seems like he’s never able to.

“I wanted to go to Tara’s party tonight, but I just freaked out. The idea of being around so many people who are screaming, drinking, and smoking just made me want to vomit. I haven't always been like this but at the same time, I have. I used to be able to go out with Chris and Nick when we were in Boston, sometimes getting anxious...But it seemed like when we moved to LA, it just got worse. I feel like I’m putting my friends and family through hell by not wanting to do certain things or go anywhere all because of this fucking anxiety.” He rubs over his face in exhaustion, just the thought of being in a crowded room with drunks taking a toll on his body.

“I understand completely. I’m not much of a party person either so I usually stay in the solitude of my own home. Although I’m not living it up like every person in LA, I think what I’m doing is considered living. You’re only ruled by the vibe you’re serving yourself. Don’t feel bad about it.”

He listens to her words closely, finding them to be comforting but also confusing. “But is it considered living? When you hear people say they are living life, you don’t picture someone in their home, you picture parties and trips.”

Y/n takes another sip of wine, “that’s true, but everyone has their own perceptions of things. What I may consider living, others might not. But like I said, you’re only ruled by the vibe you’re serving yourself.”

“But what does that mean? Ruled by the vibe of serving yourself?” He sits up on the bean bag, crossing his legs and arms as he only becomes more confused.

“It means that if you are content and happy by being alone and doing what you want to do, aka serving yourself, then that’s all that matters." Matt furrows his brows.

He doesn’t know if it’s the wine making her not make sense or if her words truly aren’t adding up.

“That doesn’t make sense though. I’m not happy staying inside because anxiety is what’s making me do it. It’s not like I’m choosing to be alone, I want to go out like everyone else and have a good time.”

“And that’s the issue-" she pointed at him.

“You’re not living by your own means, and let’s face it, that’s normal considering you’re a 20-year-old influencer in LA. You feel like you need to go out like everyone else, or else they are going to think you’re weird, or boring. You have this urge to fit in and that isn’t serving you by any means because that’s when the anxiety shows its face.”

It all starts to slowly make sense to him.

“So you’re saying by me trying to force myself to fit in and go to parties and go out, I’m making my anxiety worse?” He tries to clarify.

“Not worse per se, that sounds bad. Anxiety doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but it’s not a good thing either. Some people are just natural introverts, but when they force themselves to do things they won’t enjoy, they get anxious and freak out. That’s when I think anxiety is good because it’s telling you to stop forcing yourself through something that’s just going to drain you.”

Y/n lets her words sink into Matt, watching as his face goes through different emotions as he deciphers her thoughts.

“I think I understand? So what you’re trying to say is that I’m most likely an introvert, and by forcing myself into situations that don’t benefit me, I’m making my anxiety flare up. And that my anxiety is trying to warn me to take it easy?”

A small smile forms on Y/n’s face, “and?”

“And that I need to start living life by my means and what makes me happy, because living life by society's means doesn’t benefit me?”

Y/n claps excitedly, “yes! Exactly! You got it! Live your own life and you will be happy!” Matt lets out a breath of air now that he understands her words.

The conversation helped him understand himself a bit more and his thoughts, no longer feeling bad about ditching Tara’s party. And now that he no longer feels bad, all that internal pressure that was ready to burst out of his body is gone.

“I feel so much better now, Christ you have a way with words…I’m sorry for getting snappy earlier.” Y/n waves him off and giggles.

“It’s fine, I tend to do the same at times, but you just need to work through your thoughts and feelings.” She stands up from the couch and claps her hands.

“Now, after that long conversation, I think we deserve a dance break!” Y/n holds her hand out waiting for Matt’s phone. He unlocks it and hands it to her, the girl immediately going to Spotify and loading up a queue of songs.

Y/n immediately bobs her head to the song, twirling around the living room.

“You’ve got to press it on you- Come on Matt everyone knows Gorillaz!” She dances over to him and pulls him off the bean bag.

Matt laughs out as he begins to dance and sing along to the infamous song with the girl.

“It’s coming up it’s coming up, it’s dare!” They shout the lyrics at the top of their lungs, not having a care in the world about how crazy they look.

they were having fun and that's all that matters.

This goes on for about an hour, the two dancing and singing their hearts away. They even recorded a few snaps that were posted of them dancing and singing.

The two collapse onto the couch, out of breath and tired from the workout. “That was tiring. I don’t know if I want to eat or sleep.” Y/n giggles and points to her kitchen, “Well luckily for you, food is next. You good with pasta? I made ravioli from scratch."

“That sounds amazing.” Y/n bounces into the kitchen leaving Matt alone in the living room. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a brown ball trotting into the living room. He gasps seeing the small ball of fur, and immediately picks her up. “You are so cute, what is your name?”

He looks at the collar and chuckles seeing the name

“Janelle meownet”.

He’s heard of the singer and with Y/n’s vibes, it made sense for her to like her.

He sets the kitten on the couch and begins to play with her, his phone soon interrupting them. He answers seeing it’s Chris and smiles at the camera.

The loud sound of the party fills his ears before Chris speaks, “Hey you good?”

Matt nods, “I’m good, I’m having a good time with Y/n.” He answers. Chris smiles, happy that his brother and girlfriend are getting along.

“That’s great! You feeling ok?” Matt nods once again.

“Yeah, Y/n and I had a talk and she really helped me see things differently it was nice….I really like her for you Chris.”

Chris smiles brightly, finding solace in Matt’s words. He knew his brothers liked Y/n, but hearing that at least one of them thought she was perfect filled Chris's heart with joy.

The phone is taken by Tara, " Matt I wish you were here!" He smiles softly and talks to Tara for a minute.

Chris takes the phone back and demands to speak with Y/n. Matt rolls his eyes and hands the phone to the girl who just walked back in the livingroom.

"Hi, are you enjoying the party?" She asks Chris.

The two talk for a few minutes before Chris lets her know that him and Nick are going to come over after. They get off the phone and Y/n hands the device back to Matt.

"The food should be done, ready to eat?"

They walk into the kitchen and Matt's mouth waters at the site of the ravioli in alfredo sauce.

They sit down and dive into the food, Matt scarfing his down. It wasn't every day he had a homecooked meal, especially ravioli from scratch.

The night ensues with more wine, painting, doing puzzles, and talking.

Matt felt himself genuinely forgetting about all his worries and problems that once held all the weight of the world on his shoulders. He enjoyed his night with Y/n, she was truly a breath of fresh air.

"This might come out weird, but I can see why Chris likes you."

Y/n looks up from her diamond painting, a curious look on her face.

"What do you mean?''

"It's no secret that most people in LA aren't...normal? Everyone is either trying to be famous, or they are famous and want to use people to climb to the top. Their personalities are fake, and they don't care about other people....You're different. You actually care about people, you're actually nice, you don't care about fame or money... you're a breath of fresh air..... Chris deserves that."

Y/n finds comfort in Matt's words, enjoying the friendly praises. "At first Nick and I were worried about you, scared that you were only going to hurt him, use him to get higher in social situations…But we realized you aren’t like that at all, and tonight confirmed that even more for me. You could have told Chris no when he asked if I could come over, you could have been rude to me all night, but instead, you welcomed me with open arms.”

She smiles softly at Matt, the same smile being returned to her.

“I had no reason not to welcome you with open arms. Besides the fact that you’re Chris’s family, I could tell you needed a friend. I know you and I aren’t that close, but I wanted to be another person you know you could count on when times got rough. Thank you for trusting me tonight….and thank you and Nick for trusting me with Chris as well.”

“Thanks for being another person on my team….I hope you and Chris last. I’ll actually beat his ass and disown him if he fucks this up.”

Y/n falls out laughing, Matt joining in as well.

The two adults fall into a comfortable silence, the only sound being the soft voice of Sade. This lasts for about 20 minutes before her front door is pushed open, Chris and Nick walking into the living room.

Chris’s eyes immediately land on the two adults sitting on the floor, "well you two look cozy." Chris drops his bag on the couch and sits down next to Y/n, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She turns to him and smiles, realizing how much she missed his presence.

"Did you guys have a good time at the party?" Nick goes on a tangent about the party and how he got irritated a few times, but overall had a good night.

Not long after the tangent, Nick and Chris join in on the diamond paintings.

"I think this is the most silent Chris has been," Nick jokes. Hearing his name he looks up, putting his tongue that was sticking out in concentration back in his mouth. "Shut the hell up Nick, your painting looks like ass anyway! Right Y/n?" When the girl doesn't answer, Chris looks down only to see the girl sleeping, her hand propping her head up.

He smiles softly at her sleeping frame, "I'm going to get her in bed. There are blankets in that bin over there if you guys want to sleep in the living room. Otherwise, there's a spare room next to the kitchen." The other two boys nod and go back to talking quietly as Chris picks Y/n up, carrying her to her room.

He lays her down on the bed, changing into spare clothes he's left and climbing in next to her. He pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Y/n hums and nuzzles her head into his chest. Chris could tell her eyes were open by the way he felt her lashes tickling his chest softly.

“Did you and Matt have a good time? I saw the wine on the table and multiple snap stories.” Her soft and sleepy giggles make Chris smile, his grip on her waist tightening. “It was really nice, I like Matt."

“That’s good, I’m glad…Thank you for helping out. I know I just kind of threw this at you last minute, but I’m really grateful you could help. I know you struggle with anxiety and I just thought you and Matt could work on things together.”

She looks up and gives a dopey smile at his words, “Don’t thank me for doing the bare minimum...I love you."

He trails a hand up her side before gently caressing her face, "I love you too baby-" He plants a soft and delicate kiss on her lips, enjoying the soft moment between the two of them.

He feels her slowly stop kissing back, making him pull away. He chuckles seeing she fell back asleep that quickly. " I got to put you on a wine limit."

He kisses her nose before falling into a deep sleep.

i hate this fic sm im so sorry if nothing makes sense. i did my best to explain my personal feelings towards anxiety and ik it doesn't make sense at times.

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🍑: @mattslolita @thenickgirl @guccifrog @luverboychris @zayyluvz @mrsmiagreer @chrisssluttywaist @78yaz @hoesformatt @freshloveforthefit @3lizaluvs @mattsturniolosgirlfriend @jetaimevous @luxy-nyx @ts-is-my-spirt-animal @iihrtsturniol0 @idontexistman @katw4shereee @madisturn @starlace111 @zivall @adoreindie @imwetforyourmom @sturnsxplr-25 @sturncakez @theyluvme-2315

[olsenmyolsen]

imgonnagetyouback

master list . dark master list

If I said best song on TTPD, then what???

MCU (Female Reader X Wanda Maximoff)

Summary: You and Wanda Maximoff used to be something, but now that you're with Natasha Romanoff, Wanda can't stand by and let it happen.

Word Count: 1.4K

Content: Pissed Off Wanda, Manipulation, Cheating(?)

Wanda hated seeing you with Natasha.

She hated how the redhead whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you cooked dinner. She hated seeing how Natasha's arms held you tight after a mission. Wanda mostly hated how she looked at you. When Wanda truly looked at you. Wanda could see the pain hidden behind the glare.

Wanda hates how you treated her and how she treated you in return.

On top of that, she regrets calling it off too early. But now she hates the idea of you with someone else.

The images of you and Natasha are driving her crazy.

So, as she stands in front of her mirror in a white shirt and a lilac short skirt that fits her like skin, she smiles.

She's gonna get you back.

You're no better than a man when you see the way Wanda glides into the kitchen for breakfast. The body-hugging skirt leaves little to the imagination while making your mouth dry.

Wanda feels your gaze on her as she keeps her back to you. Using her magic to grab a bowl and spoon for cereal, keeping a laugh inside as she hears your thoughts.

You look away when she turns around but look right back up with a spoon clatters against the hardwood. You go red when you see Wanda bent over, picking up the spoon.

The color of her panties matches the skirt.

"Hey!" Natasha's voice makes you jump as she enters the kitchen with a smile. Wanda finishes gathering her cereal in the meantime. She knows this part of her plan worked just by how hard you're trying to keep your focus on Natasha and not Wanda and her body. "You woke up before me. That never happens!" Natasha makes a casual joke that you give a half-hearted chuckle at. "Yeah, just wanted an early start today, I guess."

Wanda takes one last look at you before she leaves the room. Your eyes catch her green ones, and you just about stop breathing when she winks at you.

"You're mine."

The following week, Stark is throwing a party for god knows what the occasion was, but it doesn't matter. You need something like this for one reason or another.

(Wanda and Wanda.)

So, as you walk with your arms linked with Natasha's, you find all eyes on the two of you. Natasha is dressed in a strapless thigh-high slit silver dress. You opted for an all-black tux that Natasha couldn't wait to tear off you later.

And you with her dress.

You smiled and kissed her cheek while she made small talk with colleagues, and you felt the burn of green eyes on you.

Wanda was stewing across the party, in a tight black dress that complimented your tux better than Natasha did. You and Natasha looked stunning.

She hated it.

So, with her mind on autopilot, Wanda downed the remainder of her glass and kept her burning desire trained on you.

After days of teasing, Wanda didn't feel close to accomplishing her goal. So, with misguided judgment, she rolled her tongue over her lips and found herself standing in the garage.

A golf club in her hand.

Luxury cars that Tony spent too much money on never to drive were the first pieces of machinery Wanda saw before she walked further and further down that aisle.

A loud click bounced off the walls with every step of her heels. Until. Wanda finally stopped in front of your bike.

Wanda remembers times when you'd spend all day with this stupid junk—fixing it up and taking it for a spin, being too loud and careless. God, Wanda hated it. But she also loved it because it made you happy.

But Wanda did at some point, too.

A memory of her arms wrapped around you while you sped around the compound plays out.

Wanda unconsciously screams and takes a swing, hitting the headlight right in the middle of the bike. Glass spraying around her. With a gasp, Wanda takes a step back, surprised by her actions, before she grips the club harder and swings for the fences.

39 times.

Wanda had a date a few weeks after Starks party. Your bike was totaled, and Wanda had another date.

You couldn't fucking believe it.

You felt like you had been going crazy with Wanda lately. She was gone one minute and was always around the next, in short skirts or revealing tops. Wanda was there. She acted friendly, and then, in a second, she couldn't stand you.

You couldn't make heads or tails of what was happening.

Was she getting me back?

One way or another?

You sighed as you sat down on your bed at the compound. Natasha was gone on a mission, and even if you wanted to talk to her, you couldn't really do it about Wanda.

You would be lying if you said you didn't miss Wanda at times when Natasha wouldn't get your jokes or how her and Wanda's idea of nights in were different.

On top of that, you missed Wanda's touch. You hate to say it, but you miss feeling her skin under your hand or hearing her whispered sighs escape through her lips.

You groan and lift up from the bed. You head down to the gym to distract yourself. It's empty when you get there and by the time you're finishing up. Yet, with your headphones in and your back to the door. You don't hear Wanda enter the room.

Wanda had listened to your thoughts repeatedly for the last two hours. She had smiled wide and touched herself briefly as your frustrated moans left you. She knew how close she was to getting you back.

So, as you hummed to your music, Wanda gently walked towards you.

You stopped and turned around when red magic surrounded the equipment you were using. "Wanda?" You questioned as you paused your music. She was wearing a black sports bra and bike shorts.

But god, did they stick to her like glue.

"Hi Y/n." Wanda moved closer. "What are you doing here?" You asked after swallowing your nerves and trying to keep your eyes from roaming her body. "Just thought I'd get a workout in before my date," Wanda said with a wide smile that upset you. Wanda's words were making you think twice about what happened between the two of you.

But one thing was for certain.

Her date could never do the things I could.

Wanda raised an eyebrow at that and stepped closer to you. "You've told your friends you hate me, but you love me just the same." You remained stoic even if your lips moved slightly. "Come on. Y/n.." Wanda practically moaned as she stepped closer again with a smirk. Bringing her hand up to your body and dragging her index finger from your chin to your breast.

Only stopping when you grabbed her.

"We tried the whole bygones will be bygones thing," Wanda said as she lifted her eyes from your sweaty and toned body to your beautiful eyes. Eyes she missed, looking at her with softness and lust. "I've tried harder than you." You said, making Wanda roll her eyes.

She was playing a game.

"I don't see what if done wrong," Wanda questioned. "I see the whispers in your eyes, baby. You want me." You dropped Wanda's hand and shook your head. Your thoughts descending into actions of you taking Wanda right here and now mixed with Natasha and her broken heart. "You're poison." You speak with your face inches from Wanda's. "I'm poison either way." Wanda's words cut through you easily.

She'll always be around whether she taints your thoughts and actions or keeps to herself. Wanda will always be there.

"You have someone." You say, but Wanda laughs. "You have someone, too."

You should leave, but you can't bring yourself to do it.

Wanda smiles before she pulls you forward and collides your lips with hers. A simple thing turns into a heated make-out session that leaves both breathless.

And yet Wanda pushes you away when you reach for her shorts. "I need to get started on my workout." She says with a breath between each third word. You shake your head and try again, but Wanda stops you. "Oh, honey..." Wanda coos. "You didn't think it would be that easy. Did you?" You stare at Wanda as she clicks her tongue. "I always have the upper hand, Y/n."

Wanda then looks outside as a Quinjet flies by. You're too busy scanning Wanda's face.

"Looks like she's home," Wanda says as she turns back to you. "And don't worry, I won't say anything." Wanda shrugs before turning away, leaving you standing still as your fingers touch your lips. Still a taste of Wanda. "Oh, and Y/n."

You pull your eyes to her.

"I'm gonna get you back."

dividers by @/benkeibear

[mammalsofaction]

Someone pointed out to me in one of my posts that the reason Perry was SO pissed off during OWCA files was bc he's jealous Heinz was spending time with so much of his co-workers, and Ive since been thinking about this and I genuinely hate how much this makes sense.

Obviously that isn't the ONLY reason, but. This is the second recorded time where Heinz ends up working for OWCA and BOTH times Perry spends the entire episode inexplicably grumpy and pissed.

You COULD say it's bc he's wary, he doesn't trust Heinz to behave professionally as an agent when he takes so much pride as an agent himself and incompetency pisses him off (true). Also that Heinz is lumped as his responsibility, and agent Lone Wolf hates being saddled to a person.....but these arguments crumble in light for a few facts.

1. Perry doesn't have THAT much respect for OWCA, and certainly not Francis, ESPECIALLY if they piss him off. See the aftermath of Undercover Carl. Its not a respect issue.

2. Perry knows what Heinz is like. He LIKES spending time with Heinz, and as early as the events in "Come Home Perry," HE knows that he can trust Heinz to always have his back. Its not a trust issue.

3. Perry is hugely supportive of Heinz reforming, and in MML, it's HIS money being the first and foremost funds provider for Heinz to start a time travelling agency. He likes Heinz turning tide fine, so long as he doesn't shut Perry out or leave him behind. It's not a Being Good issue.

So why was he pissed off?? Well. What's the ONE thing that upsets Perry, without fail, when it comes to his loved ones that isn't them being in undeniable danger.

Sharing. Perry hates sharing.

[briarbabyxo]

A port mafia Cinderella.

pairings : PmZai x Reader. (dazai pov)

⚠︎︎: arranged marriages mentioned, dark-ish themes?,

♺: Reblog,Request and repeat!

Dazai always detested parties. No surprise that Mori always made him attend, however. The port mafia was a very high class organization with many social ties everywhere - for example the high minister of japan himself came to this particular party tonight, some important businessmen or politicians came every time they were held. Most of the time they sought out financial opportunities or some other kind of way they could benefit from the dark underbelly of Yokohama…

No, that wasn’t what Dazai hated - really. He more or less expected and embraced that particular factor of the usual social gatherings. But what he hated was when they would try to forcibly wed themselves into the port mafias social radar. Often times gatherings like the very one he was distancing himself from found a way to call a very sudden engagement, most of the time Mori himself would make the approval. What he said goes, he was the boss after all. Nobody was allowed to argue with him without expecting some sort or repercussions. Another very small portion of the time was just for a scandal. Very rare and very far between but he had seen maybe one or two of them.

There had always been pressure for the mafia executives to be married, not a huge one but enough to cause discomfort. The reality was that the port mafia itself was a complex dance, you wanted power? Marry into it or struggle with a low chance of survival. Dazai got lucky in the sense that he had a secret that him and Mori shared, it was like he took a shortcut. Others however were not so fortunate.

dazai sighed, murmuring something to himself about the stuffiness of the room … he was usually a very extroverted person but he barely knew these people - they acted so sweet as if they wanted to use him, wring him dry and air him out for the world to see - sure, some of the politicians and business leaders brought their children and most of them were his age or around that, heck! He could’ve said some of them were pretty good looking … but they all felt wrong, like he couldn’t trust them no matter how hard he would try. Like no matter how much time he would spend it would always end up with him bleeding out.

it would always end painfully.

He wished Chuuya were here - sure, he was the worst best friend in the world but he was his best friend in the world, his dog even. They were loyal to one another - they trusted one another. Trust was a thing that was hard to come by and rarely given out. Money buys a lot of things - but he knew that it would never buy trust. He wished that Oda where here, the only man to make him change. Maybe he could spread a bit of ‘change’ on how to make this party more sufferable - or at least Ango even! He was stranded.

Suddenly the doors opened again - nobody else really noticed it because they were caught up in la-la land … but he did, he hopped it was someone he could actually stand. But he prayed it wasn’t akutagawa. Dazai already had enough of his failure for one day.

It was a girl, a pretty girl at that. She looked a tad nervous surrounded by everything, he couldn’t blame her. He pitied her - she dressed and seemed like she belonged yet something or another was out of place. One thing that caught his high were her heels, god they looked uncomfortable. I mean, they were glass! Just pure fucking glass. If she took one clumsy step or twisted her ankle the shards would be everywhere. It was entirely unethical, yet he found them pretty. They were a stupid idea - yet a pretty one indeed.

She looked a bit excited too when he got a better look at her, actually. She was breathtaking in her dress, usually he avoided seeing people in that way just because of how dangerous attachment was, Ane-San proved that herself. But the girl was a pitiful sight! He couldn’t let her flail around like a fish out of water - no matter how cruel he was, he was also starving in sheer boredom.

“Excuse me miss? You seem a bit … uhm .. lost, would you care for a drink?” He asked, a little bow to tie the bow of the illusion of a perfect gentleman. The girl turned around and he got a close up of her face, if he thought she looked nice from behind she was gorgeous up front. her eyes were like diamonds and her lips looked so … soft. He got a strange feeling looking at her, he couldn’t explain it. It was like his heart already knew her - like it craved for her.

The feeling was raw. It felt uncomfortable but a good kind of uncomfortable - like he would imagine getting smothered in a warm blanket of joy and misery would feel. He was being idiotic! He barely knew this poor girl - yet he found himself pressing a kiss onto the back of her hand more quickly than he wanted to admit.

“M-my name is (name) - pleasure to meet your acquaintance, if you don’t mind me asking - what’s your name?”

dazai pulled his mouth away, a smile clawing its way upwards to his lips - it was a crooked little grin. It was genuine though - unlike the other people you would find here.

“Dazai, Osamu Dazai - you probably know me by a few of my titles however, but we don’t have to get into that now that you know my name, doll.”

He didn’t want you to get scared of him or make a judgement of him so easily - for now he was Dazai and not the demon prodigy, Not the youngest port mafia executive. It was weird pretending to be your equal.

“Oh - Okay, it’s lovely to meet you, Dazai.”

The girl chuckled - god, he loved when she said his name. Without contempt or malice. It had some kind of loving undertone when you said it … Maybe it was courtesy but he caught himself hoping it was more.

He read somewhere in a book the main character said something along the lines of,

“Falling in love with her was as easy as falling down a rabbit hole - the hard part was not falling in love. It was like climbing upwards out of a cliff with two broken arms.”

He never did understand how true those words were until now. He never did find himself believing in fairytales but he has always believed in common sense. ‘Come on! He just found out the girls name! He hardly knew her, yet he found himself believing in happy ever afters and a light at the end of the tunnel. And to put his symptoms into perspective - his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms are heavy.

He never wanted to be head over heels for anyone. He knew life was unfair and he never believed in karma - but now he was counting everything he did to deserve this, deserve her.

“mm … there should be a slow dance soon if you would like to join me for that - if you would like something to drink as well we have some wine and maybe a bit of champagne if I look hard enough.”

dazai said, hoping she would say yes. His world felt so dull. the life around him was always contrived, unempathetic, and cruel. So he became all of those things - hardening himself. Yet, this girl was so kind it made him think that maybe there was a tad more kindness than met the eye. Or met his eye, at least.

“I would love that,Dazai.”

The girl giggled - she seemed so excited to dance with him and drink with him, and just as promised the music from the violins filled the room with their song. Dazai was true to his words, it was slow but it wasn’t boring. He would twirl her around and then when the music stopped … he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned in for a kiss.

It was a soft kiss but it got the message across perfectly fine, and when he pulled away the girl got on her tippy toes to give him another kiss - her fingers finding their way into his hair and his own around her waist.

He was about to ask for her number or something to get closer to her again - maybe to go to her house as his shipping container was a bit crowded and the air a bit stale …

When the clock chimed.

It chimed a total of twelve times, as most of the port mafias social gatherings ran through to the dark hours of the night - the girl however seemed a tad distraught by the sound.

“I….i-im sorry - it was nice meeting you Dazai but I have to go, maybe in another world ..”

no .. no .. no, you were literally slipping through his fingers as you spoke - running away with your glass heels tap-tap-tapping on the marbled ground as the candle light from the chandelier illuminated your dress, as you left the port mafia building he ran after you. He ran and ran until he lost you …

Only leaving a single glass heel.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Have you got any hcs of the Haitani brother's and Koko hanging out?

Yeah here's a few of them being friends!

Them having the funniest friendship because i feel like the Haitani's spend money a lot easier then Koko. So they'll constantly be splashing cash on the stupidest things while Koko just judges them. 

Koko and Ran being fashion icons, this is the only money wise thing they agree on, buying fashionable clothes. 

Rindou trying to help Koko buff up but Koko hates it.

Koko out eating both Haitani brother's combined at dinner and them being so surprised by this (they end up cheering him on)

The Haitani brother's gossiping and judging Inui (esp in the timeline where Koko and Inui get separated).

Rindou, Ran and Koko would be drinking buddies

I feel like Ran and Rindou was at partially responsible for bonten Koko's hair 

Ran and Rindou both using Koko as their middle man when they're arguing. "Koko, please tell Ran to get his job done" "Koko, please tell Rindou his outfit sucks today" "YOU TWO ARE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER"

They love teasing Koko and basically winding him up. 

One time Ran fell asleep during one of Koko's bonten presentations and Koko has never let him forget it.

Speaking on bonten, they find Koko's fear of blood/ needles to be extremely funny in their line of work.

With the way they've given a few of the others animal nicknames they definitely call Koko a cat sometimes.

Koko says he only puts up with them because he has to but everyone knows he's lying

I feel like both Ran and Rindou slinging their arms over Koko's shoulders (and nearly knocking him down) is a very common occurrence.

Ran bugs Koko to give him card readings a whole lot.

[shootingstarwritings]

A Beta makes, an Alpha takes

TW: homophobic slurs

Eduardo Garcia was a content creator who, like many others in his field, lived in the SolCal area. He was a self-described ladies man and an amateur pick-up artist. Most of his videos and livestreams focused on giving life advice for men. That night was the same as it always was, with Ed saying his catchphrase, “A beta makes, an alpha takes,” to his impressionable audience.

Once the stream ended and he counted his donations, Ed made his way to the bar. It didn’t take long for him to find another girl to screw. His type was always the same: eager young women new to town and looking for something deep and steady.

After a long and sensual session, the girl whose name he forgot asked if what Ed wanted for breakfast that morning. She had wanted to cuddle, but Ed’s protests kept her at bay. Ed pretended to think for a while before saying, “I’ll treat ya. It’ll be a surprise,” before kissing her.

Around five the following morning, Ed snuck out of her apartment having lost zero winks of sleep that night. ‘Not my fault there’s so many suckers in this town,’ he thought to himself, grinning the whole way back to his apartment. ‘They wouldn’t fall for fellas like me if they had a lick of common sense. I just do what I do. If they don’t wise up then it’s on them.’

That morning should’ve been like all the other ones for Ed. He was in a fantastic mood to grab a quick bite and then spend some time in the gym after scoring as hard as he did the night before. However, just as he reached the floor his apartment was on, he caught sight of his neighbor standing unusually still.

Carlos was exactly everything that Ed hated about the SolCal area. They were in the same field as influencers, but Carlos focused more on “Affirmations of the self,” and “Queer rights,” and other stuff Ed had long-since forgotten about. Carlos had gone to great detail to explain, but Ed had mostly tuned out whatever didn’t relate to Carlos’ follower count or the cash he was making. Knowing the two would never get along, Ed preferred to avoid Carlos altogether, even if he did secretly wish the two would collab so that Ed’s follower count would grow.

Yet, on that morning, Ed couldn’t take his eyes off of Carlos. He stood in front of his apartment door, staring blankly ahead. A few moments passed, but the man didn’t even blink. Ed knew he should just leave him along and mind his own business, but a nosy part of him urged him forward.

“Hey man,” Ed called out, “You okay? You’ve been standing there for like an hour or something.”

Carlos’ head immediately snapped towards the direction of Ed’s voice, causing the latter to nearly jump out of his skin. “I was unable to court another female,” said Carlos in a stilted, unnatural tone. “I was reviewing what I did wrong. Forgive the intrusion.”

‘Court another female. So the fag’s trying to get with chicks, now?’ thought Ed before being struck by a genius business idea. “Good on ya, man!” Any prior concerns about Carlos’ odd behavior were discarded to the wind as Ed wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed. “Good to see ya swinging for the right team. ‘bout time you dropped all that fag shit,” he said, pointing a thumb to the pride flag hanging on Carlos’ door.

“Fag shit…?” echoed Carlos, but he didn’t offer any resistance as he was guided to Ed’s apartment.

“You came to the right place, my friend. Nobody knows how to pick up the ladies quite like this lady-killer.”

“You kill them?”

“Ha-ha! Aw, ya crack me up, big guy. C’mon, I’ll give ya a few pointers.” For Ed, giving Carlos several of his lessons and even showing him the streaming setup was an investment. He was gaining much money from doing this, but all he needed was to win Carlos’ trust over and he’d be swimming in new subs and a brand new market to sell. There just had to be guys who played for both teams on Carlos’ faggy audience, he assured himself.

After about half an hour of coaching, Carlos repeated Ed’s lessons like a college student cramming for a final. “A beta makes, an alpha takes.” For whatever reason Carlos seemed particularly fond of that phrase.

“We’re the men. The providers! That’s why we gotta remind this pussified society who’s really in charge. The alphas,” said Ed, flexing his bicep to punctuate his point. His body was one of the few things he had worked honestly for. Steroids and diets were a frequent topics in his online rants. To Ed, if one couldn’t get a body like his naturally, then they couldn’t call themselves a real man.

“And this has worked to acquire mates?”

“Mates? Bro, I’m swimming in pussy. And soon you will too,” said Ed. He lightly tapped Carlos’ chest. “With a bod like this? It’ll be even easier. Stick with me and I’ll get you laid. Just, uh, don’t forget ‘bout that collab I mentioned.”

Carlos, after what seemed like an eternity of stone-cold stoicism, finally cracked a smile. “Yes, I would love to collaborate with you.”

“Awesome! Lemme get something to celebrate.” It was still early in the morning, but it was always five o’clock somewhere, right? Ed made hi way over to his fridge and pulled some of the quality beer. The cheap stuff was reserved for those rare moments he had a girl over. “We gotta celebrate this new friendship of ours, my man. I got--!”

Carlos tackled Ed as he walked back to the living room. The two crashed onto one of his couches in a mess of struggling limbs. “Yo, what the fuck, man?!” cried Ed. He tried to push Carlos off, but froze as he saw Carlos’ body convulsing and his eyes rolling up, showing the whites. Seizure? Stroke?

Before Ed could reach for his phone in his pocket, Carlos leaned forward and locked lips with him. As soon as the two made contact, a slimy creature flowed from Carlos’ mouth into Ed. Once the substance made contact with Ed, his body began unresponsive. He tried to struggle and push Carlos off of him, but his arms remained heavy and limp. More and more of the slime pumped into Ed until Carlos’ body, unconscious yet still convulsing rolled off of the couch.

Ed couldn’t move but he could still feel a chilling sensation spread throughout his body, filling him up. The slime crawled down his throat and began to expand inside of him. Most of it traveled down his esophagus and began to assimilate his core, arms, legs, and toes. Each limb seized and shook as it became corrupted by the invader.

Ed tried to scream as it fell the creature fill his head and coating his brain, yet he could do nothing but endure the sickening yet pleasurable feeling. It was filling him up, and for whatever reason, Ed couldn’t help but enjoy the way the creature dominated him. His body, still unresponsive to his pleas for help, merely humped the air and sensually moan as it was taken over.

Eventually, Ed blacked out. The last thing he perceived was his hands touching his face and his own laughter.

~~~

‘Please, give me my body back,’ whined Ed.

“Give it a rest, Ed,” the creature possessing Ed said, grinning to himself. “Thank you for providing this impressive specimen, by the way. I quite enjoyed the takeover.” He tilted his head as he read the magazine. “Hmm, you are well-endowed, indeed. Perfect for my mission.”

A few days had passed since the creature slithered into Ed’s body. Ed had woken up to see his body piloted by some kind of foreign invader. Despite Ed’s pleads, it refused to give up control, saying, “I’ve been needing a strong and virile specimen to breed and spread.”

‘You can’t fucking do this to me! It’s not right,’ Ed begged from the recesses of his own mind. ‘I’m a human being. I don’t deserve this!’

“Your mind is intact, is that not enough for you?” the creature said as he jerked Ed’s cock in the couch. “You could have ended up like my previous experiment. Right, Carlos?”

“Right you are, my alpha,” said the thing inside of Carlos. Ed tried to look away from Carlos’ naked and puppeted body, but the creature didn’t have the decency to give him that.

Carlos was not the creature’s first victim, but it was the first that didn’t suffer massive brain damage from the creature’s invasive efforts. However, the creature still hadn’t quite managed to access Carlos’ memories and personality. It had managed to figure out the basics and just needed one more attempt to do a proper possession. Ed was the creature’s first success, and it wouldn’t be the last.

“What else do you wish, my master?” said Carlos as he eagerly marched over to Ed, swaying his hips and sticking his ass out as he spoke. “Do you want to breed me once more? Fill me up with more of your spawn so I may go and spread?”

While Carlos hadn’t suffered brain damage, but the trauma of the invasion caused him to become catatonic. To remedy this, Carlos was the first one to received the creature’s spawn. The creature, riding high thanks to Ed’s disgust at the homosexual act, fucked Carlos’ body and let one of its children pilot the still-living husk.

“Please, act a bit more like your host would. Keep reviewing the videos.” Ed mentally screamed to himself as his invader forced him to say that. Even if the creatures had little idea as to how to blend in society, the sheer amount of content that Carlos and he made would guarantee that they had plenty of references for impersonating them. “Later, I’ll pump you full. I just… need to explore this body of mine a bit more.”

Carlos cleared his throat before giving a sweet, nonchalant smile. “No prob, my man. Later we should go out, though. Get familiar with the area.” He winked and said, “Later,” just as Carlos always did.

‘Please, let me go,’ Ed tried once more. The idea of the creature doing this to his friends and family, acting like him the whole time, was a hell he couldn’t bear. ‘I-I’ll even hook you up with another better. Better bodies, just please let me go…’ Ed internally sobbed.

“You’re quite pathetic,” the creature sneered as it violated Ed’s body once more. “Where’s your bravado, Eddie~? You were swimming in pussy just a few days ago. Now you’re pounding men and craving cock.” Ed’s body let out a malicious laugh as ropes of cum erupted from his stolen dick. “It’s like you always said. A beta makes, an alpha takes.”

[jimblejamblewritings]

the fake date plot | part. 8

Summary: Gryffindors, seventh years, classmates, unrequited love. Just a few things Y/N and James Potter had in common. When a brilliantly dumb plan is hatched the two end up getting something a little different than what they wanted.

Warnings for the Series: oh, this is a slowburn now. Or at least that's the plan.

Warning for this chapter: smut

Pairing: James Potter x reader

Word Count: 2.0k

Previous Part | (Series Chapter List)

Heads turned when you and James walked into the Great Hall laughing as you held a bunch of stuff and he held ten times more in his arms than you did. It took a lot of convincing you but James Potter had money and liked to spend it. Your ideas of currency were very different and to him all this money was like spending only five galleons. So you let him get a bunch of stuff for your birthday. 

James was pleased with himself. Giving gifts to people made him feel so good inside. He hated receiving a bunch of them though, probably because he could have whatever he wanted without question. When you reached the table you set down everything and started laughing as you took the stuff from James so he could sit down as well. 

“Can you believe we both forgot our wands and we were already at Hogsmeade?” 

“That’s a lot of stuff,” Sirius said. 

“Yeah. I couldn’t get this one to stop so I now have a bunch of stuff. Thank Merlin I need it though.” 

Lily cleared her throat. “Are you coming to the party tonight? I mean it’s your birthday after all.” 

“I’m coming. No point in staying in my bed alone just because it’s my birthday.” You turned to look at James, pointing at him. “I do not need a new outfit.” 

He held his hands up in surrender, claiming that he wasn’t even thinking about making or buying you an outfit. For the rest of Saturday until the party, you didn’t see James at all. He and Sirius were leading quidditch drills in preparation for their upcoming game. Remus and Peter looked up when you entered their dorm. They were getting used to you just showing up. Remus was about to go back to looking at his scrapbooking project when you shoved an invitation in his face. 

“To Sir Peter and Sir Remus, the girls of dorm room nine would like to invite you to our getting ready event.” 

“Do you do this often?” 

You nodded. “Life’s more fun this way.” 

Without any hesitation, the two agreed to come with you. The girls’ dorm was arranged like theirs. But the decorations threw them for a loop. Bubbles, music, and a very sweet scent colored the air. When the marauders got ready for a party, the most they’d do is play music. This was basically a whole new world. They were pushed into fancy skincare and a scalding shower with water from the depths of hell. 

“Remus, how is your hair dry already? I wish I had your porosity.” 

“My what?” 

Mary laughed. “Porosity. It’s just your hair type, never mind. Are we all ready to go?” 

Your rather large group took your time heading down to the Slytherin dungeons. Even though you guys didn’t get along very well, Gryffindors and Slytherins were always invited to each other’s parties. The bass of the music could be heard from outside the common room. You couldn’t help but laugh at Regulus and Sirius already bickering, both with an empty cup in their hands. They had started making up but obviously it took some time and they were still brothers after all. Friendly bickering was in their dna. 

You spotted James on the couch… talking to Xeno. Taking in a deep breath, you went over anyway. Your boyfriend turned his head first, smiling as you came over. The blond boy next to him was slightly stunned. You wanted to adjust but chose not to. The literal climax of your plan was happening tonight and you still wanted it to feel as real as possible. James looked good sitting on the couch and everyone noticed as they snuck glances while doing their own thing. It was the color of a shirt peeking out under the rolled up sleeves of his quidditch jumper and the rips in his jeans. He has to do it on purpose and is aware of what he looks like. 

James extended an arm and his hand fell on your waist as he pulled you closer. “Hi, bug.” 

You sat on his lap and laid your head on his shoulder trying to ignore the piercing eyes from the boy you actually cared about. But you had to. Looking desperate for Xeno wasn’t the way to win him. James wrapped his arms around you while you held his drink for him, not bothering with getting one for yourself. 

“What up?” 

“Tired,” you said with a sigh. 

“You just got here.” 

That seemed to draw the attention of all your friends who were hoping you wouldn’t leave. Even if you were all doing your own thing separately, everyone still needed to be there. James covered your body as you wiggled around trying to get comfortable. Without a second thought, you pulled down the sleeves of his quidditch jumper. He laughed as he realized what you wanted. 

“I know but I was up really late and I kind of have a headache now.” 

“You do?” James asked in earnest. 

“A bit.” 

“You don’t have to stay. We can cancel all our plans tonight if you want to get some rest.” 

The tone of James’ voice made you look up at him. There was no playfulness in his eyes. He was very serious about everything. You gave him a smile. 

“I don’t want to cancel our plans. I’ll just take a nap here and then I’ll feel better.” 

“Okay. Accio, headphones.” 

James handed them to you. Music was already playing, at a very quiet volume, when you put them on. You figured they must have been connected to an enchanted music player. Adjusting yourself once more, you leaned back against your boyfriend with a smile and closed your eyes. Your friends swooned as you did so. In the middle of a loud and hectic scene, you were peaceful. 

James observed his talk with Xeno, trying not to be suspicious. Every so often, he would cast his eyes down to your sleeping form. He was still interested. He wouldn’t keep looking at you if he didn’t care at all. 

“Alright guys, I’ll see you back at Gryf,” James said as he got up and picked you up again. “I’m getting my lady to a bed and then we can keep the party going.” 

Since the younger kids were coming back to Slytherin from Hogsmeade to start their Halloween party, the older students were going to move to Gryffindor in about twenty minutes. They waved their goodbyes to James and promised to find him right away when the party moved upstairs. 

You woke up as James entered the common room and started towards the stairs back to his dorm. 

“Why do we always end up like this?” 

James looked down. “Hello, bug, how was your nap?” 

“Delightful. And I’m now very excited.” 

“Excited?” 

“Yes.” 

James wore a goofy grin as the two of you went inside the dorm. The two of you stood side by side in the bathroom as you brushed your teeth and freshened up. Your favorite songs played while you shaved and James trimmed all his body hair low. You moved to the room without thinking. You both sat in the middle of his bed, now with an awkward silence. 

“Should we lay down and just let it happen naturally? No one else uses this enchanted muggle projector so the professor just lets us keep it. There are a good amount of movies here.” 

“Okay.” 

You and him got comfortable on the bed, cuddling ever so slightly. James’ left hand sat just under your breast as his thumb gently caressed what was beneath it. Your hand snaked down his body and took an experimental squeeze of his pants.

The movie went on without more touches until halfway through. You stiffened up before relaxing at the fingers going under the waistband of your panties. He turned your head to look at him. James watched with lust in his eyes as he watched his fingers pleasure you. It was all of five seconds before your lips crashed onto each other and you moved to the edge of the bed. 

Nearly all of the sixth and seventh and dreaded eighth years moved up to the party in Gryffindor. Not seeing James right away, the others decided to go looking. Remus squeaked and everyone else peeked into the crack in the door. James’ hands squeezed your ass before moving slowly up your body until they were underneath the jumper he made you, fingers trying to undo your bra. You both laughed as he struggled a bit. Eventually, the bra was off, leaving you in just your panties and sweater. 

“They’re looking. How long do you think before they close the door?” James whispered against your lips. 

“I give it two more minutes. Is it just the marauders?”  

“I can see Dorcas, Lily, and Xeno’s friends. The plan is going swimmingly.” He leaned back, not caring that the others could hear. “Hey, you know we don’t have to do this. It’s okay.” 

You leaned back and that made James move his hands from under your jumper. 

“Bug, I’m serious. I will not have sex with you unless you’re one hundred percent sure.” 

“I want to. I’m just nervous.” 

James chuckled. “Hey, I’m nervous too.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Do you not believe me?” 

“You always seem so sure of yourself.” 

“Being sure of school or quidditch is a lot different from romance or sex. Let’s take it slow, okay?” 

“Okay… Can I take your shirt off?” 

“Yeah, love. Can I take off yours?” 

You nodded. The door slammed followed by someone yelling sorry the moment James started lifting the hem of your sweater. The two of you couldn’t help but laugh. Reassuring James now that everyone was gone that you actually did want this, you continued feeling up and down each other’s upper body. He groped at your boobs, running a thumb over your nipples. 

“These are gorgeous.” 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m serious. So fuckin gorgeous.” 

“James,” you moaned as he took one in his mouth. 

“Can I fuck you, love?” 

“Absolutely.” 

You scurried up onto the bed in the most undignified fashion, making James laugh. He followed suit. James groaned as he started to sink into you, pausing when your nails dug into his skin. “Are you okay?” 

“It’s just hurts a bit.” 

“Do you want me to stop?” 

“No. Keep going.” 

He went slower, kissing you as he did to try and distract you. When he sunk in all the way, he checked in on you again. James waited for you to open your eyes. 

“We good?” 

“Yeah, please move.”

Your mouth dropped open as James started pumping. He smiled in satisfaction that you were feeling just as good as him. Maybe he knew what he was doing, just a little. You whimpered his name a little as you grabbed at his biceps. 

“You feel so good, Y/N. So warm and fit me just right.” 

He also felt warm inside you. He shouted your name before finishing inside you. The sheets stuck to your naked and sweaty bodies as you both tried to come down for your highs. James pulled you closer until you were on top of him. 

“That was amazing. I’m really glad we chose to do it with each other.” 

You pecked him on the lips. “I really enjoyed it… We should probably put on clothes before everyone comes in.” 

“We probably should. They’ll still be in your dorm. Do you want to join them after?”

You nodded your head as you got off the bed, James staring at your naked body. He grabbed your hand and pulled himself out of the sheets. The two of you stood side by side, comfortably naked, as you brushed your teeth and washed your face before getting in the shower together. James added a warming spell to the pile of freshly done laundry so you could have your pick of warm clothes. 

“Is it bad that I want to just stay here? Round two maybe.” James’ words were muffled as he put on a t-shirt and a jumper. 

You laughed. “Plenty of time for that later, pretty boy. Let’s go see our friends.”

(part 9)

THIS TAGLIST:

@starsval @helloitsmeeeeeee @callsigndiamond @isabela30 @rachelccollier @ghostkingblake @b3t0xic @ttulipwritezz @caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @superduckmilkshake @sendnuwudes @prongsprincessworld @slightlynotslightlyobsessing @wildernessflora @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @mommymilkerfanclub @amandachrystinallc @lupinsbookshelf @harrysgoldenwatermelon @loving-and-dreaming @that-simp-sin @bubybubsters @peachesgaeass @jellyfishlioncrab @cenkisabibl @sometimeseverythingsucks @6cexey @zellington

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @supernaturallover2002 @sambucky8 @9daykrisr @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107​ @i-have-no-life-charlie

[youmeandthestarsss]

Solar return observations pt 1. (Based on my personal experiences)

Hii guys, I know it’s been a super long while but I’m going to try to start posting more content for you guys 😊💕

This year I had Venus in the 6th house square Saturn and at the beginning of this year I was having heated disputes with some coworkers. I came very close to almost quitting my job because I felt like I was being overworked and underpaid, underappreciated by my managers and coworkers, and like my competency was being taken for granted because how much extra effort I put in to my job.

This year I had Mars in Capricorn trine Saturn in the 9th house and it’s been giving me the energy to get things done ✅. The times when I had to do something made me feel even more capable of being able to accomplish it and with efficiency. I felt motivated to get my homework done on time and do it early as well. I really like having this placement bc my natal 12h placements make me sort of lazy and a homebody

My moon is in Libra in the 5th house this year and I’ve been loving watching makeup and hair tutorials and just honestly keeping myself entertained with aesthetics. I started watching tv shows again too!

I think cancer ruling my 2nd house and moon in my 5th house might have something to do with my sweet tooth this year.

So I’ve had moon in the 4th house for two years straight now, & I can tell you right now I’m never been more of a homebody. I hate leaving my house and especially my bed. I’m always thinking about being in my bed whenever I go somewhere. I can also vouch that this placement is the root of my extreme laziness and desperate need to take lots of naps despite the fact that I have Mars in Capricorn this year.

In my SR ASC for this year I’m a Gemini rising and all I can say for it is that I’ve been focused on school a lot and getting ready to graduate, focused on perfecting my driving and also getting my license, communicating and getting along with my peers a lot more, talking a lot more, and doing a whole bunch of thinking. If you’re about to have this rising sign in your sr just know that you’ll be spending most of your time and energy in your head and will feel like you can’t ever stop thinking. This placement has also caused me to reflect on how it is I think and why I think the things I do. Lots of contemplation with this placement.

Neptune in the 10th house and I feel like there’s been some confusion on what it is I want to do for a career and how I’m going to go about it.

Saturn in the 9th house and UGH. Some of my teachers this year have been a real pain in the ass. I’ve had lots of disputes with them over grades and it at first was not working out for me all too well. I also felt like I was bombarded with a lot of homework a lot too this year.

Taurus in the 12h house & I’ve had a few dreams about material things and food

Moon in the the 5th house and mercury in the 7th house & lol let’s just say I’m always daydreaming about being in a relationship

2nd house ruler in libra spending money on things to make me feel good and look more aesthetically pleasing.

Venus in the 12th house 🤝 finding pleasure in solitude

The year I had an 11th house stellium caused me to be very addicted to doomscrolling so if you have that just make sure you take social media breaks every so often.

11th house ruler in the 12th house caused me to delete social media. Till this day I only really use YouTube, Pinterest, and tumblr ofc

I swear the year I had Saturn in the 12th house made me have the worst escapism tendencies. I hated this year and I also struggled with having multiple existential crisis all throughout that year. Let’s just say I became very apathetic towards everything and felt extremely unmotivated to get anything done or pursue my goals

[rubyneo]

hello! ebegging again 😔 we're still stuck in a hotel and i am officially out of money to spend on the room (my credit cards are all maxed out yayyyy)

basically no one in my family is helping me out on these bills and i just spent my last $500 on the room for another week while we clean out our old apartment and try to find something new.

im asking for 800 to pay off the last bit of last week's bill and the renewal bill. i really hate having to do this but i cant take any more hours at work and i cant move out on my own.

my user on all money sharing apps is branwyns (ignore my deadname)

$25/$800

(ps: i also take commissions. check out my cherry.art tag for examples of my work!)

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

”why not raise the criteria needed to be part of the first division and then force teams to meet a higher standard in order to be eligible?”

…i feel like that would make it unfair. I know WSL only has twelve teams but they are more closely contested. Plus a lot of those teams are fully pro so they have jobs and probably can’t just move it another team farther away. I know everyone hates a salary cap but sports leagues use them for a reason when they first start. Having 5/10 of the best women players in the world and wondering why everyone else sucks and expecting them to just get better is unrealistic. You’re asking people who don’t care about women’s football to care and that just isn't gonna happen.

yes, but it's not like barça just signed a bunch of star players like alexia, aitana, and mapi in the last two years and now are successful overnight. barça had stars players back even when they were losing regularly, but their success is directly in correlation with the investments the team made starting in 2019.

and we didn't sign players when they were fully formed stars, but a lot of our stars today were nurtured and developed. why do we have so many home-grown local talent like aitana, ona, alexia, and the la masia kids? it's barça. it's the brand. it's the style of play. it's the storied history. and what took them to the next level is the investment in the team itself.

plus, barça doesn't even pay its star players all that much compared to other teams and leagues (according to relevo, alexia was making 350K/year and she's a double ballon d'or winner!). and the very talented la masia youngsters are making peanuts. so they are not coming to this team for the money.

alexia, aitana, and others would make a lot more money if they go to other leagues, so i don't think a salary cap would make a difference because it's not like aitana would go play for levante because the coaching and infrastructure is not there. she would go abroad. plus, it just would never happen realistically in liga f.

16 teams in liga f is too much. the schedule is untenable. a lot of these women's teams were set up so the men's teams could pat themselves on the back and then forgot about them, so you don't have the development pathway like la masia or even the staff to nurture up and coming stars in the first team. if there are criteria for the other teams to stay in the league, then there would be incentive for teams to actually spend a little more on investment.

[callmeagardengnome]

𐙚 ink my heart 𐙚 - chapter 3

w.c. - 3.9k

pairings - idol! lee dong-hyuck x tattoo artist! fem! reader x idol! mark lee

genre - romance, strangers to friends to ?

synopsis: being a tired university student with no interest in life was something you were satisfied with until you unexpectedly become friends with an idol.. but what if it becomes more?

not proofread!

previous / next masterlist

Compared to the vibrant night you had last month, your days have been pretty bland and dull. As per usual, you have been very busy with work and classes - which meant that you had no time to reach out to both Haechan and Mark.

With school break approaching, you find yourself being more excited than before. This could be the chance to catch up with the both of them. However, you find yourself worrying about whether they have time. Do they have a break too?

Haechan and Mark never mentioned what they did for a living. To be fair, you didn’t ask. You initially guessed they were university students because of their age, but their hectic and random schedules made you think otherwise. Either way, you were anxious that you might have to spend your second break alone.

You stared at the newly bought groceries on your kitchen counter. You finally got your pay-check from your boss, which allowed you to replenish your empty fridge and pantry.

As you put your fresh groceries into the fridge, your phone started to ring violently on the other side of the room. You reached over your couch to grab your phone before answering, “Hello?”

“Ahh.. ‘____’,” you heard your boss, Mr Park, sigh on the other side of the screen. “I’m going to need you to come in, I have a very important client that needs a tattoo right now.”

“Huh?” you blurted as you sunk slowly into your couch. “Right now? That’s so sudden and I can’t get there that fast..”

“I don’t care- just be there NOW,” he yelled before hanging up the phone.

The whole interaction was added to your list of reasons of why you hated your boss. Even though he paid you decently,(especially since you’re a part-timer), he seemed to take you for granted and called you in whenever he pleased. As annoying as it was, he did pay you extra money.

With that, you rushed to put your final groceries away and headed out the door.

The figure of a tall man leaning against your studio wall became clearer and clearer as you jogged towards your workplace. As you got closer, he quickly put out the cigarette that he was smoking.

“Hey uh- thanks for waiting, I wasn’t expecting a client today,” you panted as you fumbled with the keys of the studio.

“It’s okay, sorry for the short notice,” The man replied understandably.

You managed to open the door, letting the both of you inside the dark studio.

“You can sit over there,” you said, pointing towards the tattoo chair.

As he took a seat, you switched on the lights, illuminating the room with a soft glow. You glanced at him, noticing the tired and fatigued look in his eyes.

“So.. what are we doing today..?” you asked as you tried to shake off your exhaustion from the rushed morning.

He paused, “I’m not too sure.. I saw what you did for my friend and I wanted something with a similar style..”

You nodded while preparing your sketchbook. “Who’s your friend?”

He muttered, “Taeyong.”

“Really? The one with the white hair?” you asked curiously.

He gave a small nod before you asked again, “Oh so do you know the guys he was with?”

“Yeah..” he mumbled as he scrolled through his phone for tattoo ideas.

The thought of Haechan and Mark being friends with this man made you want to ask more, but you resisted the urge as he seemed uninterested. The both of you started to discuss ideas for the tattoo. Once you were done sketching, you printed out the stencil for the design.

You wouldn’t describe the silence between the two of you as ‘comfortable’. It felt as though the both of you were carefully treading the conversation, trying to find a common ground.

You placed the stencil on his skin, “What’s your name, by the way?”

“Johnny,” he said as he grabbed his phone that was over on the table. “The guys were talking about you so I thought I should check the place out.”

They talked about you? You felt your cheeks getting warm at the thought of that. “Oh.. What did they say?” you asked, trying to sound casual as you adjusted the stencil.

Johnny chuckled, “Just that you were ‘crazyy’ talented and cool.”

You smiled, feeling a mix of pride and embarrassment, “I’m glad they think so. Ready to get started?”

He nodded, putting his phone away. “Let’s do it.”

The familiar buzz of the tattoo gun filled the room. As you worked, the both of you engaged in a light chat, breaking the silence.

“How did you get into tattooing?” Johnny asked, his voice steady despite the needle his skin.

“I kinda just needed a job,” you answered sheepishly. “I always liked art and I wanted to pay off my student loans. It just seemed like a good way to earn money.”

He winced slightly as you moved the needle to a more sensitive area. “That’s cool. Not a lot of people do what they like for a living.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m lucky…” you admitted. “What about you? What do you do?”

Johnny hesitated for a moment before shrugging, “I’m in the entertainment industry. It can get pretty hectic sometimes.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Entertainment industry? Like music or acting..?”

“Music,” he replied, keeping his tone modest.

“WOAH- that’s actually so cool,” you remarked, being genuinely impressed. “It must be really stressful though..”

“It is,” Johnny agreed. “But it’s worth it.”

As you continued working on his tattoo, the conversation flowed naturally as he asked more about your work. You heard his phone ringing just as you were about to start colouring the tattoo. Johnny muttered a ‘FaceTime…?’ before answering.

“Dude- where are you?” You heard Mark’s voice coming from the speaker.

“Didn’t I tell you guys I was gonna get a tattoo?” Johnny replied, confused. “I’m at that girl’s studio, the one you guys talked about..?”

There was a brief pause before he responded, “Wait, wha-“

“No way! Hyung, you’re with her right now?,” Haechan interjected, his face appearing on the screen beside Mark’s. “Can I say hi?”

“I mean you’re on speaker so..” Johnny mentioned as Haechan stole Mark’s phone.

“Hey ‘____’!” Haechan said excitedly while running. “Sorry I haven’t reached out in a while, I’ve been pretty busy.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve been busy too,” you smiled at the screen, looking at the chaos unfolding in front of you. “How have you guys been?”

The call lagged slightly, before the sight of Haechan and Mark fighting for the phone appeared. “Dude- back off,” Mark said as he pushed Haechan aside. “We’ve been good, how about you?”

“I’m alright, just working you know?” you replied. “Actually, my school break starts soon..”

“Really?” Mark’s face lit up. “How long is your break?”

“About 3 months,” you replied while shrugging.

Haechan snatched the phone from Mark’s hands before adding on, “We should definitely hang out, it’s been too long.”

Mark nodded in agreement, “Yeah.. do you have any plans yet..?”

“Not really,” you chuckled. “It’d be cool to meet up again.”

“Why wouldn’t it be,” Haechan grinned playfully as Mark nudged him. “I’m pretty awesome.”

Mark rolled his eyes but smiled, “Shut up dude.”

“Guys, my battery is low,” Johnny interrupted as he checked his phone. “I need to end the call soon.”

Haechan’s face fell slightly, “Come on Johnny, charge your phone..”

Mark laughed, “It’s okay, we can plan something later.”

You nodded, feeling excited at the idea of seeing them again. “I’ll text you guys once I have my work schedule sorted out.”

“Sounds good,” Mark said, his voice warm. “I hope we can hangout soon.”

You felt a flutter in your chest. “Of course! See you guys soon..”

The call ended and the screen went dark. Johnny looked at you and gave a sly grin, “You must have made quite an impression.”

A blush crept up your neck, spreading to your face. “I guess so,” you replied. “They’re really nice..”

“Nice?” Johnny leaned back slightly. “They literally just fought.”

You laughed, “Yeah, it was kind of funny though.”

“Sure..” Johnny trailed off. “It’s good to see them excited though, they need more actual friends.”

Actual friends? You didn’t know what he meant by that but you brushed off the odd comment. You passed him a charger that you found in one of the drawers and continued to work on the tattoo - the conversation flowing with the initial awkwardness dissipating.

“All done,” you announced, bringing a mirror closer to Johnny.

Johnny looked at the reflection with amazement. “They were right, you are really good at this.”

“Thanks..” you said, appreciating his words. “Do you mind leaving a review? It would help us a lot.”

“Of course, don’t worry,” he replied as he started to take photos of the tattoo.

After settling the payment and exchanging a few words, he headed towards the door. He gave you a small wave before stepping out into the evening.

The studio’s bell chimed softly as the door closed behind him. With a sigh, you began cleaning and tidying up the studio. Once everything was in order, you turned off the lights and flipped the sign on the door to ‘CLOSED’.

You felt the bitter coffee go down your throat as you sat in the lecture hall. The white fluorescent lights acting as a harsh reminder of your mundane routine. It’s finally the last day of class and you felt your stomach bubbling with excitement just thinking about your break.

You didn’t want to get your hopes up - again the three of you are usually busy, but you couldn’t help yourself. The possibility of seeing Haechan and Mark again made it hard to focus on your lecture.

As the clocked ticked closer to the end of the class, you went over your plans for the break. Maybe you could go to new places or pick up a hobby..

When the lecture ended, you gathered your things with a burst of energy. You decided to send a text to Haechan:

@‘____’ hey! my class just ended.. school break is finally here !!

You slid your phone into your pocket before heading out the door.

As you sat on the familiar train, you sketched various figures and shapes into your notebook. The clatter of the tracks added to the noise of people chatting. Suddenly, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

You paused your drawing and reached for your phone, glancing at the screen.

@dong-hyukkkk OMG That’s really good timing cuz We wanted to go to our fave bar later.. Wanna join?

A smile spread across your face as you quickly typed back,

@‘____’ of course! i’m not a drinker :/ but i would love to hangout!

@dong-hyuckkkk Dont worry about it Plus they have some cool games so let’s do that :p

@‘____’ text me the address can’t wait to see you guys!

@dong-hyukkkk See you later :)

A wave of excitement washed over you as you returned back to your sketchbook. Maybe your break would actually be fun after all.

You’ve never been more stressed about what to wear in your life. It’s not that you wanted to ‘impress’ them (though that would be nice), you just didn’t want to come across as sloppy.

You’ve never been to a bar before. You have no idea what to expect or wear. Why did you even agree to this? The anxiety gnawed at you as you rummaged through your closet. Should you go casual? Comfortable? Formal?

You settled on cropped baggy shirt with jeans and a chunky belt. While it was comfortable, you hoped that it struck a balance between comfort and casual.

You started to apply your makeup, drawing a baby winged liner. You even applied your boldest lipstick shade - a muted red.

Taking a deep breath, you gave yourself one last look in the mirror. A knot of uneasiness twisted in your stomach. You shook off the nerves before grabbing your purse and headed out the door, into the fun night ahead.

Is this right? You looked at the address that Haechan sent you a while ago. It led you quaint bar, one that was not bustling with people. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but a bar with a quiet, almost cozy atmosphere wasn’t it.

The murmurs of conversation and the low hum of music that greeted you felt strangely intimate, contrasting the loud and rowdy image you had of a bar. You scanned the room as you tried to look for familiar faces in the dim lighting.

“Over here!” You saw Haechan wave at you vigorously as he stood up. You weaved through the scattered tables and settled into the booth where Haechan and Mark were sitting in.

“You made it!” Heachan said, pulling you into a quick hug. “We were wondering if you got lost.”

“Almost did,” you laughed, trying to shake off your anxiety. “I’ve never been to a bar before.. so this is all new to me.”

“Really?” Mark exclaimed, sounding genuinely surprised. “I don’t know why- but I always thought uni students went to bars.”

“Maybe they do,” you replied while shrugging. “I don’t really have the time though.”

Mark said reassuringly, “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you have fun.”

You nodded, feeling a bit more at ease as you glanced around the bar. “What are you guys going to get?”

They looked at each other briefly before Mark answered, “He’s getting Soju.. but I’ll probably take Sprite since I’m driving.”

“Oh yeah, you don’t drink right?” Haechan asked as he turned to you.

“Yeah.. I’m not a fan of the taste,” you replied, smiling nervously. “I think I’ll just get water or somethi-“

“Wait- this place has the best milkshakes, you should get those,” Haechan intercepted.

“Milkshakes..?” you echoed.

“Yeah, it’s one of their specialties,” Mark added on. Haechan stood up, starting to lead you over to the bar, “Come on, let’s pick one.”

As the both of you approached the bar, you looked at the menu overhead. A variety of drink types and milkshake flavours displayed proudly on it.

“What’s your favourite flavour?” Haechan asked, his voice filled with curiosity.

“Um.. chocolate is nice..?” you admitted, feeling slightly embarrassed at your ‘basic’ choice.

“Ooo.. they do have that,” he said as he pointed to the menu. “I recommend trying the chocolate peanut butter shake though, it’s like dessert in a glass.”

“That does sound really good,” you said, feeling excited about the drink.

Haechan grinned, signalling the bartender. “One chocolate peanut butter milkshake, one Sprite and one bottle of Soju please.” The bartender nodded and began preparing the drinks.

“You’re going to love this,” Haechan stated confidently. “Our friends found this place a few years back and it’s been our go-to.”

“I see why..” you said as you looked around.

There was a small pause before Haechan commented, “I know I keep saying this, but I can’t get over your tattoos.. they look really cool on you.”

Your cheeks flushed suddenly as you heard his words. Your tried to find a way to respond without sounding too eager.

“You think so?” A nervous laugh escaped you, betraying your flustered state.

“Yeah I’m not blind,” he smirked with a playful glint.

“Thanks..” you looked away and fiddled with the edge of your sleeve.

When the drinks were done, you pulled out the cash you had in your purse and tried to give it to the bartender.

“Woah- what’s this for?” he asked, confused.

“I wanted to pay for the drinks..?” you explained, being as confused as him.

Haechan gently pushed your hand back, “Nonono, it’s my treat.”

“But-“

“I invited you out remember? Let me pay for it,” he said firmly, pulling out his wallet and handed his card over.

“Oh, thank you so much..” you stammered, your voice tinged with nervousness. You collected the drinks and started to walk towards the booth, trying to avoid Haechan’s eyes.

The night was filled with laughter and chatter, something you haven’t had in a while.

“I can’t get over how good this tastes,” you said before taking another sip of the milkshake.

“Told you,” Haechan said with a smug grin.

Mark took a sip of his drink, then asked, “How have you been so far?”

You sighed as the weight of the past few weeks dawned on you. “Stressed… finals just ended a while back and I’m getting my results soon.”

Haechan leaned back, looking sympathetic. “Yikes.. that’s rough. At least you have a break now..?”

“True..” you said. “What have you guys been up to?”

There was a slight hesitation as Mark answered, “Well, we’ve been pretty busy with work stuff.. our schedule is kind of a mess.”

Haechan made a sound of agreement, “Yeah it’s been really hectic.”

“Wait, you guys work together?” you asked, your interest piquing. “What do you guys do?”

As they were about to answer, a worker approached the three of you, “Hey guys, the kitchen is about to close soon. Do you have any final orders?”

You looked over at the two guys, “Do you guys want food..?”

Their eyes lit up with excitement at the mention of food. “Uhuh.. the wings here are genuinely so good,” Haechan exclaimed, almost jumping out of his seat.

Mark nodded enthusiastically, “Dude- and the cheese fries?”

You chuckled, their excitement was infectious, “Alright, let’s order those.”

The soft music played in the background and the quiet conversations filled the air. As you finished your food, Haechan glanced around and then nudged Mark.

“Should we play some darts or pool?” Haechan suggested as his eyes lit up with excitement.

Mark grinned. “Yeah, both sounds fun. What do you think?” he asked, turning towards you.

You looked over to the corner of the bar where the pool table and dartboard had been set up. “I’ve never played either before..” you admitted.

“Perfect! We’ll teach you,” Mark said as he stood up and motioned you to follow him.

You grabbed your things and followed the guys to the corner of the bar. Haechan grabbed some darts and carefully handed them over to you and Mark. Haechan explained, “It’s pretty simple, just aim for the bullseye and throw.”

You stood infront of the dartboard with the dart feeling unfamiliar in your hand. Mark noticed your hesitation and stepped closer to you.

“Here- let me help you,” Mark said, moving behind you. “First you need to hold it like this,” he placed his hand over yours, guiding your fingers to the right position. Your heart skipped a beat when you felt the warmth of his touch.

“Focus on the bullseye,” Mark continued with his smooth voice close to your ear. “Then take a deep breath and throw.”

You drew your arm back and released the dart. It flew through the air and landed on the outermost ring of the dartboard.

“Woah.. you really suck,” Haechan remarked with a teasing grin.

Mark laughed, “You can’t aim either dude.”

“At least I’m better than you in pool,” Haechan replied, rolling his eyes playfully.

The three of you continued to play and you slowly began to improve with each throw.

“See? You’re getting the hang of it,” Mark said while smiling.

You moved a some hair in front of your face, hoping to hide your blush. “I guess.. should we do pool next?”

The both of them played a demo game of pool to show you how it’s played. Haechan wasn’t lying when he said that he was good. Once their ‘match’ ended, Mark handed the cue stick to you. “Wanna try?”

You nodded and tried to mimic the way the guys held the cue stick, but it felt awkward in your hands.

Mark chuckled, “Want me to help again?” He adjusted your grip on the cue stick and his hand rested on top of yours. “Aim for that ball,” he directed. “Make sure to hit in the middle.”

You leaned over the table, trying to focus but your mind kept drifting to how close Mark was. His breath brushed against your ear as he explained, which left you feeling flustered and self-conscious the entire time.

With his hand guiding yours, you took the shot. The cue ball rolled forward and tapped the target ball, sending it into the pocket.

“Nice!” Mark exclaimed as he gave you a high-five.

Haechan clapped from the other side of the table, “Okay okay you’re alright.. are you ready to lose?”

You smirked, still not over the contact you had with Mark. “You wish. Watch me actually obliterate you.”

You probably shouldn’t have trashed-talked Haechan, his skills were unmatched. You (naturally) lost the game, but you still had fun despite it.

The night grew and the bar started to empty. Haechan excused himself briefly and Mark took the opportunity to reposition himself in front of you.

“Did you have fun?” he asked softly.

You nodded, “You guys are really fun to be around..”

“Good,” Mark chuckled. “It’s been a while since Haechan and I properly went out.. I’m glad you’re here.”

His words caught you off guard and you felt a blush creep up your cheeks. “Yeah- I’m glad I’m here too.”

Mark’s eyes softened and leaned back into the chair. “Do you like the place?” he asked as he gestured around the now quieter bar.

“Mhm, I see why this is your favourite bar,” you replied. “It’s so cozy that I might start coming here.”

He smiled warmly at your response, “Yeah it has a charm to it.”

As the both of you continued talking, Haechan returned with a bowl of dessert.

“Chocolate ice cream,” Haechan said with a playful grin, placing the bowl in front of you.

You laughed, feeling genuinely touched by the gesture. “You didn’t have to.. but thank you.”

Haechan shrugged nonchalantly, “It’s the least I could do after defeating you at pool.”

You rolled your eyes but your heart fluttered at his thoughtfulness. You took a bite of the ice cream and it tasted heavenly.

“Hey- I lost too so where’s my ice cream?” Mark asked teasingly.

Haechan laughed as be nudged Mark with his elbow, “It’s only for pretty people.”

Haechan's playful remark brought a smile to your lips. Mark feigned offence but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Dude- are you calling me ugly?" he asked before turning back to you with a smile.

As you stepped out of the bar, the chilly air hit you, making you shiver slightly. The both of them exchanged a glance before Mark spoke up, “Do you need a ride home again?”

You sighed, “I promise you guys that I can take the train home and be safe.”

Haechan grinned cheekily, “You said that last time too and we ended up sending you back.”

You paused for a moment, “Yeah.. are you sure? Are you guys not tired of sending me home?”

Mark shook his head. “Nah, it’s honestly no trouble. Plus we feel better knowing that you made it back safely with us.”

You nodded reluctantly and accepted their offer. As you settled into the car, you couldn’t help but have a butterfly feeling in your chest at their kindness.

As they pulled up to the train station, the all-familiar feeling of disappointment sets in. You turned to thank them, your heart feeling strangely full. “Thanks again for the ride guys.. I had a really great time.”

Mark flashed you a smile, “Anytime.”

Haechan nodded enthusiastically before adding on, “Yeah seriously. Text me when you want to hangout again.”

You stepped out of the car and watched them drive away. Despite the slight sadness of your parting, you knew that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw them.

author's note: sorry for the late updates! i had an exam recently and rn im studying for another one.. hopefully i will be more consistent in the future! make sure to like and repost.. all and any feedback is appreciated <3

[highladyelenna]

i hate the “Nesta was a child too” arguments.

Yes, Nesta was a child too. Yes, she had no obligation to take care of her siblings. I agree 100%

HOWEVER

At some point she grew up. She was no longer a child she was an adult. She watched her 14 year old sister provide for her family for FIVE years while she never said thank you. Never acknowledged Feyres hard work. Never helped with the skinning of the animals or cutting them or even selling them. Feyre had to literally hide her money from Nesta because Nesta would steal it and spend it.

The average 10 year old knows not to steal money from someone let alone a 17 year old.

Now, let’s talk about 22 year old Nesta.

22 year old Nesta looked at her sister, who was hunting in the dead of winter, and decided instead of thanking her to berate her. 22 year old Nesta who was freezing in their house even sat in front of a fire, berated her 19 year old sister that was out in the cold for hours, no fire to keep her warm. Who killed a wolf, and carried a deer on her back all the way home.

22 year old Nesta did care to show kindness to her sister, until it was too late. Until she was taken by Tamlin. And she went to the wall.

And then what happened after?

Feyre showed up on their doorstep as a fae and Besta berated her again. 23 year old Nesta didn’t care enough to ask Feyre what happened. To ask her how she got turned into fae. Instead she berated her yet again.

So where’s all that love and concern go?

In ACOWAR, Nesta sees everything that happens. She sees Tamlin sold Feyres allegiance- without her consent- to the King of Hybern. She sees how Tamlin was in alliance with the person who just forcibly turned her and Elain into fae. And she knows that Feyre pretended to be mind controlled so that Rhys and the IC could escape with them back to Velaris. So she knows that Feyre is with Tamlin, and when Feyre finally returns, she treats Feyre like shit yet again. She doesn’t ask how Feyres experience being turned into fae was- if it was just as bad as what she had just experienced. No, she doesn’t care and blames her sister for something that someone else chose to do to her. And then also threatens to rip Feyres throat out for going to ask Elain a question? Like, oh now you want to be parentified and be protective when it comes to Elain?

Nesta has this habit of treating Feyre horribly ever chance she gets but then when something happens to Feyre, that’s when she wants to show her love and kindness? When it’s too late?

We see this again in FaS and Silver Flames. She treats Feyre like absolute shit. Insults her, insults Feyres family. Insults the fact that Feyre is happy? Finally? Is just intentionally cruel towards Feyre and then when Feyre dies, she wants to step in and finally do something. She wants to show her love and kindness when it’s too late.

I’m really hoping that SJM finally keeps the end of Silver Flames consistent in the rest of the series where this weird fucking animosity Nesta has towards Feyre is dead and we can finally fucking move on.

[mildmayfoxe]

STAY ★ TRUE || patreon print for dec / shop

[loudcackles]

[hcnnibal]

Will you ever draw some crossover art between a1/a2 and Hannibal? It's very niche but....👀

its tempting… very tempting