#I have a lot of Feelings about kai and rekke and the way their relationship is progressing

[haledamage]

Rhicember 12/23

I don’t know whether to smack you or kiss you. - Kai/Rekke

(EDIT: now on AO3!)

“It’s open!” Kai called as a knock sounded at her door.

Rekke poked his head through a moment later, grinning in a way she found both charming and suspicious. “I have something for you,” he said in greeting.

Definitely more suspicious than charming, then. She gestured for him to come in, and she stood up to walk around her desk as he shut the door behind him.

“I sent a letter with the first explorers past the Mortar.”

“You're the first explorer past the Mortar, darling,” she interrupted, but then his announcement caught up to her and she stopped abruptly, reeling in shock.

“Past where the Mortar used to be,” he continued as if he didn’t notice her distress. “My sister was very surprised to hear that I did not die. Less surprised that I did not want to come home.” Without another word of explanation, he pulled a book out from one of his pockets and held it out to her. “You said you enjoy history, ta? This is a book of the history of Lipsalis. You can learn about my people and practice your Seki at the same time.”

“Is there something wrong with my Seki?” she asked as she took the offered book, turning it over slowly in her hands.

“Spoken, no. You learn very quickly. Written, your letters are still… very Aedyran.” His smile was disarming, making sure she didn’t think he was insulting her. “It is good to practice.”

“Rekke, this is… very sweet. And very stupid.” That felt like an understatement, Kai thought as she traced her fingers over the soft leather cover. “It was probably really dangerous to send that letter.”

“My sister is not that scary,” Rekke said with a laugh. “Okay, maybe sometimes she is.”

She sat the book carefully on the table and looked up at him again. “You know that's not what I meant.”

“I know. It does not matter. If I get in trouble, I get back out again.” His dark eyes were very sincere. “Do you like it, Kiki?”

“I love it,” she said, because it was the truth. “But I don't know whether to smack you or kiss you.”

A coy, inviting smirk spread across his face. “If you are looking for suggestions, I know which I would prefer, ta?”

“I think I know which I'd prefer too,” she said quietly. She took a slow step closer.

Then she smacked him on the arm, just hard enough to make a point. She doubted he could even feel it through the padding of his armor, but he still let out a startled yelp.

“That is for smuggling historical documents across the Mortar before we've even established diplomatic relations.” She grabbed his armor by the collar to drag him closer and stood on tip-toe to brush her lips across his cheek. “But thank you for the book, darling. It's perfect.”

She pulled away, but he stopped her before she got far, curling his hand gently across her cheek. His thumb brushed lightly along her bottom lip. “I thought you were going to kiss me, Kiki.”

He waited for a handful of endless seconds to see if she would pull away or tell him no. She didn’t, and he leaned back down to her again.

Even though she saw it coming, Kai still gasped when his lips touched hers. Rekke froze like he hadn’t actually expected to get that far. They stayed that way for a long moment, neither of them pulling away or pressing forward, and when it became clear to her that he wasn’t going to take initiative, she took matters into her own hands. She slid her hands up into the soft, magnificent waves of his hair, pulled him closer, and kissed him like she meant it.

It was not a storybook first kiss. Both of them were so surprised it was actually happening that they couldn’t remember how. Rekke seemed to have forgotten where to put his hands; they flitted from her face to her hair to her waist before finally coming to rest on her shoulders.

The reality of the situation came crashing down and Kai pulled away from him, scrambling halfway across the room. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have--I didn’t mean--”

“It is okay, Kiki.” Rekke chuckled, holding a hand up to calm her down. Still, his other hand drifted to his lips and he couldn’t seem to stop grinning. He looked her over, and whatever he saw made his grin turn teasing. He asked, slyly and entirely too knowingly, “Was that your first kiss?”

“No!” She looked away from him, feeling her face get warm with embarrassment, and reluctantly admitted, “It was my second. My first kiss was a few weeks ago. With Edér, under the damn mistletoe.”

His chuckle became a full, delighted cackle and he collapsed on the edge of her bed, shaking with laughter.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t see what’s so funny about that.”

“All… All the times I have wanted to kiss you,” Rekke said through his laughter. “To know… to know I could have been the first and it was taken from me by a holiday tradition. I really do have the strangest luck, ta?”

“How,” Kai’s voice came out an undignified squeak. She cleared her throat and tried again, “how often have you wanted to kiss me?”

“Every day since we met.”

“What?”

“You did not know? Yukag?” She couldn’t tell if the look he gave her was awe or pity. She chose to believe the former. “I have not tried to hide it. No less than four of your friends have approached to gently threaten me. Twice from Aloth, but one was the… the other Aloth. The angry woman. At least, I think she was threatening me.” Softly, nervously, he added, “Was it that bad?”

“No! It was--that’s not--” Curse her uncooperative tongue. She knew a dozen different languages and couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence in any of them.

“It is okay, Kiki,” he said again, and he seemed to understand what she was trying to say even if she couldn’t say it. “You do not have to be scared of me, ta?”

“I’m not scared of you, darling. I’m scared of…” but she paused, unsure how to finish that sentence. There was too much noise in her head right now. Her quarters were too small to contain both of them. Rekke seemed both very close and too far away. Unable to find the words she wanted, she changed the subject entirely. “You are looking entirely too pleased with yourself, Rekke.”

“I have never seen you so unsure of yourself. I did not know you knew how.” He took a step toward her, and when she didn’t bolt in the other direction, he took another. He still couldn’t stop smiling, giddy and smug and insufferably attractive. “It was only a kiss.”

“Only,” Kai scoffed. His grin only grew wider. “What happens now?”

“Now, I will leave you alone so you can panic in peace.” Something must have shown on her face, because his smile softened. “I am not offended, Kiki. It is part of who you are, ta? One of the things I--” he cut himself off abruptly and looked away, face turning red. “You panic, you take your time, and then you come find me. Nothing will happen that you do not want to happen.”

“What do you want to happen?”

“I do not think I should answer that."

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” Kai couldn’t help but smirk at him, trying to get herself back on steady ground. “Keep your secrets then, darling. For now.”

“No secrets,” Rekke said plainly. “They are yours when you are ready for them. As am I.”

She was very proud of herself for not outright flinching at that, though she did inhale sharply like the words impacted a little too hard. In a carefully controlled tone, she said, “I will take that under consideration.”

“Good. You should come find me, if you need a reminder.” He brushed his knuckles across her cheek, and she looked up at him in surprise; she hadn’t realized he was so close. He dropped his voice to a sweet, gentle murmur. “Let me try again, when you are ready, ta? Let me do it right.”

She was still trying to figure out how to respond to that when he left the room.

-------

Kai managed to avoid him for almost two weeks. It wasn’t hard to do in a city like Neketaka; there was always work that needed doing, especially for a woman of her reputation. She spent the time she couldn’t fill with work pouring over the book Rekke had given her as if it held the answers she was looking for. If it did, they were enigmatic; she could only decipher two-thirds of the book at her current ability to read Seki, and… well, it’s not like she could ask him for help. Not yet.

Rekke was respectful of her need for space, which she appreciated, though it also brought to light exactly how much time she’d been spending with him. His absence now made her feel like she had when she’d first cut off all her hair - clumsy, off balance, strangely light-headed. She missed him.

Serafen did not respect her need for space. He was there every time she turned around, never saying anything but always watching. He clearly knew something, though how much she didn’t ask and he didn’t offer the information. She didn’t want to talk to him about it, but she knew she needed to talk to someone and he clearly had no intention of leaving her alone until she did.

Edér was the first thought since he knew her best, but as sweet as he could be he lacked the right perspective. Aloth had even less experience in romantic endeavors than she did, and was even more cautious, so she couldn’t ask him, and she couldn’t ask Tekēhu either for the opposite reason. That left her options very limited.

"I wish Kana was here," she said to the empty ocean, leaning on her elbows and staring off the side of her ship.

"Ain’t that Maia’s brother?" Xoti said jovially as she leaned next to Kai. Kai tried not to make it obvious how much the priestess had just startled her half to death. "Are you friends with him?"

"That's a very long story, but yes. We met in the Dyrwood, more than six years ago now. He gives good advice," Kai admitted, "and I find myself in need of some."

'Anything I can help with?"

"Maybe." She looked down at the water lapping at the side of the ship. She considered which was a worse fate: confiding in Xoti and her knowing but sympathetic smile, or the crushing depths below. She took a deep breath to put the steel back in her spine. "I kissed Rekke."

"I knew it!" Xoti exclaimed, clapping her hands together in glee. "Y’all’ve been actin’ real weird the last couple o’ weeks. I knew something must’ve happened." She tilted her head, curious about the carefully blank look on Kai's face. "I woulda thought you’d be happier about that, Kai."

"Did you."

"Well, sure. You’ve been dancin’ around each other for months now. You’re smitten. You both are. Everyone can see it." She tilted her head the other way, bird-like, keen eyes seeing through Kai's attempts at stoicism. "It scares you, huh?"

"It terrifies me," Kai admitted quietly. "I’ve spent most of my life trying to avoid getting… attached to people. It took a long time just to get used to the idea that I had friends. That I could have friends. This…" she struggled once more to find the right words "this thing with Rekke is far beyond that."

"You could start by callin’ it what it is. You’re smitten, Watcher."

"I am. Beasts take me, I am." She turned and slid down to sit on the deck of the ship, leaning her head back against the familiar, worn wood. After a moment, Xoti sat next to her. "What do I do, Xoti?"

The priestess tapped her fingers against her chin thoughtfully. “What do you wanna do? That seems like the best place to start.”

Kai closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at Xoti as she whispered, “I want to kiss him again. I can’t stop thinking about it. About him.”

“Then I don’t see what you’re still waitin’ on.”

“I may have…” Kai groaned and covered her face with both hands, “I may have panicked a bit last time and then spent the last two weeks avoiding him.”

Xoti laughed, clearly delighted by this whole conversation. “You sure don’t like to do things the easy way, do ya?”

“So I’ve been told.”

Xoti nudged Kai’s shoulder with her own. “Got good taste, Watcher. He’s real pretty.”

Kai grinned, wide and infatuated. “He is.”

“Lookit you. Smitten.”

“How long do you think it will take someone to notice if I toss you off the boat, my dear?” Kai said dryly, raising an eyebrow.

Xoti’s smile was completely unrepentant. “Gettin’ rid of me won’t hide the truth.”

-------

Kai still avoided Rekke for another two days, trying to get her thoughts in order, but she couldn’t stall their next trip out into open water. Once they were out there it was clear there could be no more hiding from it.

She tried to keep her mind active and her nerves in check while she waited for the proper opportunity to present itself, so she sat down at her desk to sort through and reply to some of the letters spread across its surface. She had just finished writing and sealing the last missive when a soft knock sounded at the door. She had a sinking feeling she already knew who it was. "Come in, darling."

Sure enough, Rekke cracked the door open just enough to poke his head in. "Serafen said you wished to speak with me."

Of course he did. As loudly as she could without risking being heard by non-ciphers, she thought NOSY BASTARD. She was pretty sure she heard his familiar raspy laugh from somewhere past the door. "Come in," she said again.

Rekke stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. He glanced at the pile of papers in front of her, the top one with a still-drying wax seal. “You are busy.”

“I am always busy. But I can always make time for you, darling.” She was willing to forgive how sappy that sounded if only for the way he lit up at her words. “I was actually about to come looking for you. Good thing I have such thoughtful friends as Serafen to save me the trouble.”

“He is a nosy little bastard, ta?”

Kai laughed in surprise to hear her own thoughts echoed back at her. “He is. But maybe I’ll forgive him, just this once. I…” she took a deep, fortifying breath. “I want to start by apologizing. For avoiding you. For… for running away.”

Rekke took a slow step further into the room, expression uncharacteristically serious. “You did not run away. You are still here.”

“I thought about it. I’m still thinking about it.” She stood up and paced the small space from her desk to her bed and back, feeling cornered even though the only one making any demands of her was herself. “I’m very good at running away, darling. I’ve been doing it for a very long time. Sometimes I don’t think I remember how to do anything else. But I don’t… I don’t want to. Not this time. Not from this. Not from you.”

“Then if you run, I will just chase you,” he said, like it was obvious, like he had never even considered anything else. “For as long as I need to. You are worth it.”

She grimaced and had to look away. “Rekke, you can’t just say things like that.”

“Why not? It is the truth.” He waited until she looked back at him and held her gaze, every inch of him radiating sincerity. “You are worth it. You deserve to be happy. I want to make you happy.”

Kai fought the urge to back away from him and instead took a couple steps closer. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do not worry, Kiki. I can be very patient.”

“Yes. I can see that.” She took a few more steps forward. She stopped in front of him, close enough to touch. He didn’t reach for her. She could see that he wanted to, but he didn’t move. The next step had to be hers. “May I…?”

“Ta,” he said quickly, not even waiting to know what she was asking. “Please.”

She slowly, very slowly, lifted a hand toward his face. His eyes fluttered shut as soon as she touched him, leaning into her careful caress, and so she let herself do what she’d wanted to for months and trailed her fingers softly down the length of his scar, across his cheek and lips and chin.

Her whole life, she had never understood the appeal, had never seen what everyone found so attractive about her red hair and freckles. Looking at Rekke like this, it finally made sense. He really was beautiful, with his long copper lashes and dark green eyes and the hint of mischief ever-present in his smile. She traced the pads of her fingers over his jaw and cheeks, finding patterns among his freckles, and a part of her wondered if she could convince him to do the same with hers.

Rekke moved suddenly, turning his head to press a kiss to her palm, then took her hand in his and pressed another kiss to her knuckles. He lowered her hand from his face and held it to his chest instead; she could feel his heart racing underneath her palm.

“Too much, darling?”

“Ta. But also no.” His voice shook with barely contained emotion. Kai wanted to ask what that emotion was, but was scared he’d actually tell her. Then he opened his eyes and met hers and he may as well have told her anyway. There was such an endless depth of longing in them that it took her breath away. “Kiki,” he whispered, and then softer, reverently, “Kai.”

Oh. Oh no. Kai felt like the solid deck beneath her feet shifted and the world tipped sideways. She moved closer to Rekke as if his presence could help steady her, even if he’s what had her reeling in the first place.

His free hand curled around the back of her neck; his eyes shifted to it momentarily, as if he was surprised to see it there, as if he hadn’t meant to do that. “I think I should go.”

Kai bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from protesting. Instead she just nodded. Rekke took a large step backwards and she let her hand fall away from his chest back to her side.

He took another step back, moving away from her to make his way to the door. He paused when he got there, considering, and pulled something out of an inner pocket of his jacket, turning around to place it wordlessly in her hands.

Kai looked at the object she held, turning it over in her hands. “You got me another book? How many of these do you have?” she asked incredulously. “You remember I told you how dangerous this was right now, right?”

“I remember. I also remember you said ‘thank you’ and ‘I love it,’ and then you kissed me.” His smile finally returned, proud and a bit impish. “I have done much stupider things for less worthy reasons.”

“There are easier ways to get me to kiss you than smuggling me books.”

“Ta. Tell me and I will do those instead.” He nodded stiffly, almost a formal bow, and gave her one last sweet, hesitant smile before he opened the door. “Good night, Kiki.”

[haledamage]

Fic Author Self-Rec

Rules: When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread self-love! Tagging @risualto @rannadylin @actualanxiousswampwitch @msommers and @storyknitter 💖

tagged by @queen-scribbles, which is appropriate because she’s probably responsible for most of these, either directly or indirectly. But I’m also going to immediately bend the rules and start with something that isn’t a fanfic (but is fiction and so counts as fic, right? Right? Of course it does)

---

Speaker (Original Interactive Novel)

🎵Can I show you what I’m proudest of?🎵 I have poured so much of myself into this thing. It’s the realization of a life-long dream, and though it’s not finished, it’s still my favorite thing I’ve ever done. It currently sits at about 187,000 total words, or approximately the length of Fellowship of the Ring.

For What It’s Worth (SWTOR, f!Sith Warrior/Arcann)

This is one of my more recent pieces, but I just love the concept so much. Force Bond shenanigans plus enemies to lovers. The person who understands you most in the galaxy is your greatest enemy. You want them dead, but killing them means killing part of yourself. Their presence going from being an annoyance to being a comfort. Good shit.

The Last to Know (PoE, Watcher/Edér Teylecg)

Edér and Kai have been a married couple for years and they’re the only ones that haven’t realized it. I just... love them. I love the way they love each other so effortlessly that they never consider that other people think their relationship is unusual. And I love the way nothing really changes for them, they both just have the epiphany that “we can be best friend and make out sometimes? sign me up!”

Epiphany (PoE, Watcher/Rekke)

Ah, my rarest of rarepairs. There are seven fics in the Watcher/Rekke tag and three of them are mine. I didn’t even know I was going to ship it until it snuck up on me. Kiki is the queen of not realizing she has romantic feelings, and I adore the contrast with Rekke who fell in love with her at first sight.

Only the Dead Never Change (Detective/Adam du Mortain)

Kira and Adam in quiet but charged moments is practically my brand, as far as Wayhaven Chronicles is concerned, but this one’s my favorite. Really solidified a lot of Kira’s characterization for me, especially in regards to her music. “If she could weaponize the way he made her feel, she would be fucking unstoppable” is one of my favorite lines I’ve ever written.

[haledamage]

Love Yourself Challenge

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc. ) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

tagged by @queen-scribbles​, which is appropriate because a lot of things I’ve written lately have been directly because of her encouragement/ruthless enabling <3

I’m really glad this is narrowed down to only the last year, because otherwise there’s no way I would have been able to narrow it down to only 5. As it is, I still couldn’t do that and I’m kinda gonna cheat :P As such, we’ll start with:

Rhitober and Rhicember! 

While these aren’t just one fic (hence why it’s cheating), they’re both major writing challenges that I gave myself and completed! Rhitober was a challenge to write something every day for a month, and Rhicember was a series of winter/Christmas/holiday prompts I did over the latter half of last December. They are various pairings and fandoms (Pillars of Eternity, Dragon Age, Wayhaven Chronicles). I think I’m gonna do Rhitober again this year, but I’ll have a lot more characters and fandoms to choose from then!

I’m actually going to single out one in particular as well from the Rhicember stuff because it deserves special mention.

Smitten

Pillars of Eternity, f!Watcher/Rekke, 3300 words. Kai kisses Rekke, then spends the next few weeks panicking about it before they finally sit down and talk about it.

Boy, Kai/Rekke really blindsided me. I had a prompt (I think in Rhitober, actually) and they were so obviously flirting in the whole thing and then it just snowballed from there. I love writing terrible first kisses; fairytale, fireworks-and-true-love kisses are great, but so are the awkward I-don’t-know-where-to-put-my-hands kisses :D Rekke being so clearly in love with Kai and being much more emotionally wise while Kai is panicking because she has caught feelings and doesn’t know what to do with them is such a fun juxtaposition. Plus, considering Laura Bailey is my voiceclaim for Kai, the scene where she’s talking to Xoti is just “Laura gives herself relationship advice” and that’s fantastic.

The Officer’s Ball

SWtOR, f!Trooper/Aric Jorgan, ~9000 words. Havoc Squad are invited to a fancy dress gala and things don’t go as planned. Pre-relationship, sweet sweet UST goodness while in tuxes and ballgowns.

One of the longest things I’ve ever written that didn’t involve multiple chapters. I have always wanted to write something like this but never found the right setting/opportunity until Ves and Jorgan came along. The flirting between Ves and Aric, the banter between them and Elara, the way the three of them work together so well as soon as things go sideways, this was so fun to write.

The Last to Know

Pillars of Eternity, sometime after Deadfire, 1800 words. f!Watcher/Edér Teylecg. Someone makes an offhand comment that makes Kai and Edér rethink their entire relationship and realize things they probably should have realized a long time ago.

Two people who have been living together for years, who sleep in the same bed, who are raising a child together, who share household assets and list each other as next of kin and are wearing the Lovers’ Light rings, are shocked to learn that people think they’re married. Are even more shocked to learn that maybe they want to be. I love these idiots so much.

Home Sweet Home

Pillars of Eternity, also sometime after Deadfire, ~7000 words. f!Watcher/Aloth Corfiser/Edér Teylecg. Kai has to go visit her family and brings Aloth and Edér along for protection and moral support. Some spoilers for endgame events of both PoE games.

You know, I’m surprised it took so long for this OT3 to happen, but I think that’s because Kai and Edér were busy being oblivious about their feelings for each other. You have not seen the last of these three together, that’s for damn sure. This fic snuck up on me and possessed me and would not let me do anything except write it until it was finished. The end result is surprisingly cathartic, watching Kai finally face down her terrible abusive family and stand up to them feels like a culmination of several years of character development for her. This whole thing is pretty much Kai, Aloth, or Edér doing something badass and the other two looking at them like:

[haledamage]

Character Interview: Kai

tagged by: @mcousland :D thank you, darling, this was a lot of fun! 

tagging: @queen-scribbles​, @rannadylin​, @serenbach86​, @risualto​, @allisondraste​ and anyone else who wants to do this!

I had a lot of trouble deciding between Kai, Kira, and Cait, but ultimately went with Kai! Feel free to tag me a couple more times so I can do the other two ;)

name ➔ I’d prefer if you just call me Kai. Friends call me Kiki. My full name is (she sighs) Akaia Emmethrien Talitha Cirdani. Don’t call me Akaia, I don’t answer to it anymore.

are you single ➔ (Kailoth) I’m not. I’m betrothed, actually.           (Rekkai variant :3) I…(she blushes) yes.

are you happy ➔ I’m trying to be. It’s a new sensation, being allowed to be happy, but I’m working on it. I’m happier than I’ve ever been before.

are you angry ➔ Often. I’m working on that, too.

are your parents still married ➔  As far as I know. I don’t know why they wouldn’t be. I haven’t spoken to them in close to fifteen years, though, so your guess is as good as mine.

NINE FACTS

birth place ➔ In the heart of the Aedyr mainland.

hair colour ➔ red. Unfortunately.

eye colour ➔ dark green

birthday ➔ Tarivèrno 4. Late Winter, just before the snows start to melt.

mood ➔ I don’t know if I’m in a particular mood right now? Can a person just be ‘neutral’? Hmm… maybe I’m just bored. I don’t like to be idle, even for something like an interview. No offense, dear.

color scheme ➔ purple, teal, green, copper. I like jewel tones. Things that don’t clash with my hair too much.

gender ➔ Female.

summer or winter ➔ winter. I love the heat and jungles of the Deadfire Archipelago, but I miss snow.

morning or afternoon ➔ afternoon. If I’m awake in the morning it’s because I haven’t slept yet.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ (Kailoth) I am, as I mentioned, betrothed. So yes.           (Rekkai) That’s a personal question, isn’t it? Of course I’m not. That is--I’m--I don’t know. 

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ No. It’s a nice sentiment, I suppose, but I’ve learned not to trust my first impression of anyone.

who ended your last relationship ➔ I don’t have a last relationship. I’ve never had the patience or interest in a relationship before.

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ if so, I’ve never heard about it.

are you afraid of commitments ➔ No. I don’t think so, at least. I have trouble trusting people, but once the trust is earned, I’m all in, you know?

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ I’ve been hugged within the last week. I’m rarely the one to initiate, but some friends of mine have decided they need to remedy that.

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ if so, they’ve never told me. That’s what makes it ‘secret’, isn’t it?

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ I don’t think so. I’ve been told in the past that I don’t have one. Maybe I lost it somewhere.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ love. I didn’t have much use for either until recently, but… love is so much more than just a romantic or sexual thing. I’m surrounded by love of all different kinds.

lemonade or iced tea ➔ why would you ever put ice in your tea?

cats or dogs ➔ I have a lot of both of them, these days, but if I had to choose, I’d choose dogs.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ a few best friends. I’m lucky to have both, now.

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ Wild night in :) you may not believe this, but I throw a hell of a party.

day or night ➔ night. always.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ a few times, when I was younger. It always ended poorly. (she smirks) never got caught on the last one, however. I guess you could say I’m still not caught.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ I don’t think so. If so, I’m sure my friends will be happy to tell you all about it.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ yes. Freedom. And I guess I got it. Jury’s still out on whether or not it was worth the price I paid for it.

wanted to disappear ➔ Most of my childhood. I succeeded, in a way. That’s how I’m here now.

been involved in a fight you thought you couldn’t win ➔ that feels like something of an understatement. You don’t really go into fights where gods are involved expecting to come out the other side unscathed. And I haven’t. Very much scathed, as it were.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ smile. A good smile can change a person’s entire face.

shorter or taller ➔ taller. Not that it’s difficult to be taller than I am…

intelligence or attraction ➔ intelligence

hook-up or relationship ➔ relationship. I don’t do casual hook-ups. I don’t really do casual at all.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔  I adore my older sister and her wife, and I’m quite close to both of them. My younger sister and I get along in small doses, but we don’t have much in common beyond the title ‘Captain.’ My brother and parents, though… if I never see them again it’ll be too soon.

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ that would be putting it lightly I think, my dear.

have you ever ran away from home ➔ yes. Fifteen years ago. That’s how I’m here and not locked in some windowless gilded cage.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ no. Mother knew if she kicked me out, I wouldn’t come back. I’ve been kicked out of a few towns, though, since becoming a Watcher. Apparently people like me are considered… disruptive.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ If I hate someone, they know it. I have travelled with people that I didn’t like, when it was necessary, but I never considered them friends.

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ yes, I think so.

who is your best friend ➔ Eder. He’s more family to me than my blood family. I would quite literally be lost without him. But I must mention Aloth and Rekke as well. Aloth is the first real friend I’ve ever had, I would do anything for him and I know he’d do the same for me. And Rekke and I haven’t known each other very long, but we’ve grown close very quickly. He reminds me not to take myself so seriously, and I… I think I need that. Pretty desperately, if I’m honest. I can’t imagine my life without any of them.

who knows everything about you ➔ Eder and Aloth. They were there during some of the darkest times of my life and some of the things I know about myself they were there when I learned them. I have no secrets from them. Rekke could know, if he wanted, but he just… doesn’t ask.

[haledamage]

OK I gotta ask Kai/Rekke for the OTP asks, even if a lot of these are way beyond their current status... :-D #4, 7, 16, 20, 27, 34, 36, 42, 43, 46?

4. When they can’t sleep, what do they do?

Rekke sleeps like the dead. He’s one of those people that falls asleep as soon as he lays down. Doesn’t matter where they are or what they’ve been doing, he could lay on a slab of bare stone and wake well-rested. So if one of them can’t sleep, it’s always Kai. 

She sleeps better than she did during the Hollowborn Crisis, but she was never an easy sleeper even before becoming a Watcher, and now… well, a good week means she only has a sleepless night every three days or so. A bad week means no more than 2 hours of sleep each night - or worse, nightmares.

Rekke joins the rotation of those that keep Kai company on bad nights fairly early on (along with Eder, Aloth, and Vela. Xoti eventually joins them, too, much later. Vela calls them the Watcher Watchers because she’s adorable). Probably joins them before he has a full grasp of Aedyran, even. He likes to help, to be of use, and he’s got a pretty big crush on Kai from day 1, so any way he can help her specifically is a good thing to him.

Early on, he uses that time to learn Aedyran from her and to teach her Seki. Later, he tells her stories of his homeland and his family. Tries to make her laugh. Tries to push away all the bad things and the meddling gods and the nightmares and make her feel safe. 

Much later on, he shares the bed with her, trying to help her feel safe and protected even when she’s sleeping. That doesn’t happen until they’ve really established a relationship, though; since Rekke is aware of his feelings for her so early on, he feels that to offer Kai any kind of physical comfort, even just holding her hand or something like that, would be exploiting her vulnerability for his own selfish reasons. He only starts to do so when she starts to understand her own feelings and reciprocate them.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

100% Rekke. He collects them and shares the worst ones when Kai’s having a bad day, because they make her laugh but also they make her blush and those are both wins in his book.

One time, randomly, she tells him one instead and he almost proposes to her on the spot.

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Kai reminds Rekke. He’s much paler and more likely to burn than she is. Though even when they don’t burn, they both freckle. Well, freckle more. There are so many freckles.

20. What do they argue about the most?

They both have a habit of throwing themselves into danger to help other people. Rekke’s quote about his scar being from doing “something noble or stupid” could apply to both him and Kai in many aspects. They tend to yell at each other when one of them gets hurt helping people, but it’s mostly out of concern rather than anger. They don’t argue often, though - and most often, what happens is they run into the stupid danger side by side and then Aloth yells at them both for it later.

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

Kai. She’s a stress baker, and she’d probably be up at 2am anyway. May as well make some cookies.

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

I don’t think they go out on ‘dates’ very often, though they do go out together a lot. While they’re still in the Deadfire, they go on ‘get away from the crew’ walks, because lack of privacy when you’re trying to start a relationship can be daunting. They like to go exploring together later, when they start travelling - in Aedyr and Rauatai and Lipsalis and the Dyrwood, getting themselves into just enough trouble that it’s fun to get themselves out of it again. They’re that one couple that goes hiking and free-climbing as their weekend date. 

She still brings a book, though. A tiger can’t change its stripes, after all.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

Kiki. Rekke makes no secret about being a cuddler ;) but once she gets past her (many, many layers of) reservations, she’s in his personal space any chance she gets.

42. What is their favorite feature of their partner?

Rekke loves Kai’s laugh. She has a really good laugh, sweet and joyful and infectious and also very rare. Every time he gets to hear it is a gift. Physically: her hands. Watching her cast intricate spells or writing in her journal or grimoire is very distracting. He fell out of a chair once watching her plait her hair; he probably isn’t as embarrassed about it as he should be. (honorable mention: her hair. It’s like his, but even fluffier! He may be a little jealous, and he definitely doesn’t understand her dislike for it)

Kai loves Rekke’s voice. She likes to listen to him talk, no matter the language. His accent is also very sexy, though she would never admit that, of course. Physically: his lips. More specifically, his smile. She likes the hint of mischief there even when his expression is otherwise neutral. She can tell what he’s thinking by the shape of his smile even more than from the look in his eyes and no, she’s not staring you’re staring, shut up. (honorable mention: his scar. She has no idea why, but she’s fascinated by it)

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Rekke knows he has feelings for Kai from very early on. He has a crush on her pretty much from the moment she pulls him from the ocean, though that early on it’s mostly just based on “this woman saved my life and she’s beautiful and awe-inspiringly powerful”. It develops into something real as he gets to know her, but probably even before Hasongo and definitely before Motare o Kozi, he knows he’s in love with her. So as far as he’s concerned, nothing changes when he realizes he has feelings for her because he always has.

For Kai, the first thing that changes is "darling" :3 It's not until she slips and calls him that that she even starts to realize she has feelings for him. 

(for context: Kai has not had very many positive examples of romantic relationships in her life. The two that stand out are her sister Bella and Bella's wife Moire, and an old orlan couple she travelled with in Ixamitl for a while. Moire has always called Bella "my darling Bella" and the orlan couple called each other darling too. It stuck in her mind as an Important Petname reserved only for loved ones. So Vela is "my darling" but no one else gets that privilege which is why it's such an "oh no" moment when she accidentally calls Rekke that (in the alternate universe where Kai is with Aloth, calling him "darling" from early on is her way of admitting how she feels about him before they are at a stable enough place to act on it. It's like holding up a sign that says "I LOVE YOU" to someone, but it's in a language they don't understand))

The first thing that really changes between them when Rekke realizes that Kai reciprocates his feelings is that he compliments her a lot. Some hints of that have shown up in fanfic already, I think. It's his way of making his interest and intention clear while still letting her choose the pace things progress. Mostly it just makes kai.exe freeze and stop working.

46. Who initiates kisses?

Early on, Kai. Rekke doesn't want to scare her off, so he lets her initiate any affection or intimacy between them until she stops looking over her shoulder like he's going to be taken away from her.

Once she mellows, though, definitely Rekke. Every chance he gets. It should probably be embarrassing but she enjoys every minute of it.