#I have to credit my senseless babbling of course

[kiki-strike]

When Fiona Apple said every single night’s a fight and Eli TTB said I’m sorry I’m not a person anymore I’m a problem and people say they love you but they don’t really love you. They love how loving you makes them feel or they love what they can take from you. And when Ethel Cain said I thought good guys get to be happy I’m not happy I am poison in the water. I was too young to notice that some types of love could be bad. God loves you but not enough to save you. I’ll love you forever sid, that’s the problem. No one will know how evil I really am, cause I like to wear disguises and I like to disguise my plans. Won’t you quit your crying, I can’t sleep, one minute I’m a little sweetheart and next minute you are an absolute creep. I love you and I hate you and I’m losing my mind.

[stay-midnight]

SKZ, Smut Headcannons

They/Them pronouns are used but here reader has a dick.

Read this at your own discretion — this is the most explicit thing I probably have ever wrote so please. Read. At. Your. Own. Discretion.

This contains: All Members’ kinks, what aftercare with them is like, their positions in bed (Dom/Sub and Top/Bottom) and more - This is more of a switch reader ig.

Note: Top or Bottom meaning the one who gives or receives, it’s usually only used on same-sex relationship unless pegging (The act of a woman penetrating a man with a toy or a strap-on.) is involved while Dom or Sub is used by the power dynamics in bed, meaning who takes the lead and who submits, this is why we have Subtops/Dombottoms.

a/n: This is me just passing time, also I was bored okay- also, this is my view on them so don’t @ me 😭. And oh yes, very classic idea. But i haven’t seen one for M. Readers tho mostly gender neutral and fem. readers.

~ All gif credits goes to their owners <3

Bang Chan

Switch leaning bottom, okay with topping but prefers to be on the receiving end. Soft Sub with Soft Dom Tendencies from time to time.

So like, I know almost or all of you see Chan as a Hard Dom/Top but hear me out—

Chan already takes care of 7 kids so he really just prefers to be taken care of in bed.

He doesn’t mind if you wanna go rough or soft on him, though he prefers you to be soft when he’s tired or after work.

He is barely a brat to be honest since he’s too tired so it’s very rarely you could put him in his place but from time to time he does like you being rough with him.

During more kinky nights though, well you have a plethora of toys to use on him~

He is a soft dom though during the times where you are extremely tired and just prefer to get led on so he’ll do just that.

He is pretty vanilla honestly, his kinks aren’t that wide or extreme.

Chan is very whiny and noisy in bed, whenever you are rough with him expect him to not listen to anything you say because he’d like to get what he wants. He would like it if you talk to him dirty though and praise him.

When you praise Chan, he’d be a good for you especially if you call him pretty or a good pup.

Kinks he likes that I can see are: Edging and Overstimulation (Receiving), Blowjobs (Giving or Receiving) and during more rough/kinky nights, he has a collar kink since he wants to wear it and for you to call him "puppy".

This one time you both had sex and he wore those wolf ears since he wanted to try. He looked cute and when you praised him. He lost control and went on all fours — him begging you to just destroy his ass.

His biggest no no is anything that gives you or him too much pain, spanking is okay but not too hard.

One thing that he wants to try with you is barebacking (unprotected sex) since you both always use protection for safety. He wants to feel your cock inside him with no barrier in between, he also want to feel you fill him up.

Aftercare with him is soft, even though he was the one who subbed for you he will check on you immediately with questions like: “Are you okay?” or something of the same.

He wants to ensure that you don’t have a domdrop.

So yeah, overall: Chan is a subby puppy that will still take care of you even if he’s the one to be limping the next day. That’s how much Channie loves you~

Lee Minho

Prefers to Top, but will bottom if you really really want it. Dom with Hard Dom tendencies, rarely subs but isn’t opposed to it.

Ah yes, Lino is a dom — what a suprise- (note the sarcasm pls-)

Minho just prefers to dominate/top you in bed, he wants you to whine and beg for him. He stares you down with those scary eyes of his.

Minho is an amazing brat tamer and he does not take kindly to them, so beware if you brat out. He will punish you, maybe even edge you till you finally become a babbling mess for him.

He also likes to tie you up and tease you, oh, dare I say that he wouldn't mind touching you in public, he would grab your ass a lot too and would squeeze your bulge if he sees you having one.

He isn’t much of a sub since he really just wants to fuck you senseless, ehem. I don’t make the rules— Would let you dom, if he sees you that way but still it would be fun for him to break a dom.

When with Minho though, passionate nights are rare due to him already being deep inside you fucking you into the bed roughly when he’s needy which is like every day— Mans has a high sex drive.

Though during those passionate nights expect Minho to be extra caring and soft to you cus' he wants you to feel loved through his pleasure.

His Biggest Kinks though are: Degradation and Petnames (Giving) Pain Play is also there (Giving) and he of course, likes teasing and hearing you beg for him. The petname he calls you is bunny and he degrades you a lot but if you don’t like being degraded he is okay with praising you instead.

He mostly calls you his cockslut or his cumdump (only if you agree on taking it raw) if not then he won’t call you any of these.

His biggest no no is anything with bodily fluids that isn't cum or spit. He hates getting dirty and he hates dirtying you too much, he is like a cat that’s why.

One thing that Minho wants to try with you is threesome, he wants to asks if you're down for it or not. If he sees you get angry though, he would deeply apologize and say that you were enough for him. But if you agree, Minho would either fetch Jisung to help dom you or Chan so you could help him dom him.

Aftercare with Minho is loving, he takes care of you and make sure you escape your headspace properly if you have one and he will praise you a lot like, “You did good for me, sweet bunny..”

Overall: Minho is a hard dom that extremely loves you and is thankful that you trust him enough during your heated sessions.

Seo Changbin

Switch, okay with topping or bottoming. Switch again, okay with domming or subbing. He likes to dom when he’s more energetic and likes to sub when he has those days that he just wanna lay down and let you do all the work.

Most of y’all see him as hard dom/top but I see him more of a switch. He has this cute side that I think is more submissive than you think.

Binnie wants to be taken care of softly. He doesn’t really like the rough treatment and prefers if you be soft with him if he is subbing/bottoming. He likes the petname "Bun" or "Bunny"

When you both had sex for the first time you expected him to be rough with you but he wasn't. He was soft and careful with you making sure you felt more pleasure than pain. He also prepped you as much as possible because he thought your moans was you feeling pain—

As scary as he may look he’s a softie, opting for more gentle sessions that rough ones. Sure there are some days were he prefers to just lift you up with his strong muscles and rail you against a wall but he mostly prefers the passionate nights.

Changbin when he subs likes to get tied up because he likes the feeling of constriction. He doesn't really tie you up much but from time to time he pins your arms as he fucks you.

He kinda doesn't know what to do with you when your bratty, he asked one of his members once and said member choked at the question. He gives you some slaps to your ass but that’s how far he got— So don’t be bratty with him, cuz he’ll be a confused bun.

Changbin usually bites his lips when he bottoms since he doesn't like letting out his sweet noises that is until you reassured him that it was okay and oh did he get loud, you were afraid that the neighbors heard him moaning out your name.

Changbin also has vanilla kinks since he treats sex as a way to feel connected to you. His sex drive is low actually, sex once a week is okay and he doesn’t masturbate much.

His biggest kink is Pet Play, call him bunny as you fuck into him or as he fucks into you. Either way, he’ll melt into a puddle.

He also likes to some Nipple Play, he likes you touching his pecs and kneading or teasing it. He also sucks on your nipple when he’s on top of you.

His Biggest no no is Sex Toys during a session, he is okay with you using it outside it as a way to pleasure yourself but he prefers giving you pleasure himself without the use of any objects.

One thing he’d really like to try though is Cum Play and Pec Fucking he wants you to fuck his pecs and cum on it his chest, smearing your own cum at his pecs. He also wants you to kiss him with his cum on your mouth.

Aftercare with Changbin is a very thorough clean up and check up session, he makes sure to make the bed comfy and clean to sleep on. If he topped he’d like to clean his cum of you, if he bottomed he cleans it himself but wouldn't mind if you wanted to clean it yourself.

Overall, Changbin is scary but really just a softie inside. He opts to care for you a lot since he doesn't like seeing you get hurt!

Hwang Hyunjin

Prefers to top because he likes to feel you around him, Hyunjin is a lazy dom honestly. He just lays down and watch you ride his cock — if he doesn't like the speed, he slaps your ass or that one time he decided to slap your dick.

I know most of y’all see him as a switch with a sub preference but I beg to differ— He is a dom in disguise :s

When Hyunjin wants sex he just grabs you away from where you guys get caught and lead you to a bedroom where fun times could happen.

He always like to see you on your knees, staring up at him. He also likes to see you choke on his cock too, because even he knows he has a big one. He likes it when things get messy as he tug on your hair while you were sucking him off.

He likes seeing your tears whenever he hits the back of your throat because he thinks you look ethereal when your crying — especially when you stare up at him when you have tears flowing down your cheeks.

Sometimes he calls you his "fucktoy" or his "cocksleeve" because it turns him on tenfolds especially when you obediently nod and agree to him.

Hyunjin also likes to suck you off especially if it's a way to tease you, he is very skilled at it apparently. He doesn't want you to come inside his mouth though, if you do then expect some sort of punishment.

He doesn't have a preferred nickname, but if you call him "daddy" he wouldn't be opposed to it — because he knows those titles hold power over you.

Hyunjin also likes to make out randomly. One time, one of the members caught both of you clearly getting it on the couch and his tongue basically shoved down your mouth. He likes it messy really. The member who say both of you was scarred though.

His sex drive isn’t that high but if you wanna fuck every day his down for it but if not it could be atleast 3-2 times a week.

He doesn't really like bottoming much, but one time he teased you by spreading himself and showing you his pretty pink hole. But in the end he still fucked you.

Even though he’s a lazy dom, he still always manage to turn you dumb just from the sheer size of his manhood. He also keeps a lot of toys around so expect to have a vibrator to be on your dick when you’re riding him. If you keep stopping or halting though he’ll change positions so he could fuck you hard instead.

His biggest kink is Blowjobs (Receiving or Giving) because he likes you to choke on his dick or he likes to just suck your cock. Bondage (Giving), he likes tying you up and seeing you all pretty and bare just for him. He even bought some nipple clamps and cockrings just so he could use them on you.

Hyunjin also takes pictures of you when he ties you up (with your consent of course) so that he could jerk off to them when he’s on tour or just away from you in general.

Hyunjin’s biggest no no is anything to do with piercing your skin — knives and needles, etc. He doesn't want to make you feel extreme pain because he wants to give you pleasure not pain. He spanks you sometimes but not to hard.

One thing that Hyunjin wants is to see you wearing a lingerie because he thinks that you’d look pretty wearing them. He would drool a bit seeing you so sexy like that.

Aftercare with Hyunjin is soft as fuck, he would baby you and won’t allow you to do anything. He treats you like a prince and makes sure you’re the most comfy after doing the deed.

Overall, Hyunjin is lazy in bed but he can snap and he will not hesitate to give you the rough treatment — Doesn’t matter how tired he is, he will destroy that ass.

Han Jisung

Pure Switch, can top or bottom — can also dom or sub. But it depends on his mood, if in a mood where he’s a bit angry or if you were being bratty — he’d punish you for it and if he’s angry, he’d opt for angry sex wherein he’d fuck you against the bedroom wall or just fuck you on the bed roughly and in doggy style.

“The birthday twins are switches y’all.” - Me quoting because I see so many bottom Jisung or Felix.

If he’s feeling a bit tired or he’s more soft, he’d rather let you do all the work. Softly, just laying down — letting out moans and whines as you fucked him.

He isn’t much of a brat when he’s feeling subby because he’s eager to please you in any way he can. He can still be bratty though, so expect some heat back. If you punish him though, he’d be quite giggly afterwards.

When domming, he likes being quick and rough — wanting to just hear your pleas for more, he also likes messing with your body — he squeezes your nipples or squeezes your cock — he does anything he can too make you writhe underneath him.

He also likes using toys — you guys have a collection of cock rings, different sizes of vibrators and dildos, ropes and handcuffs, a gag, blindfolds and buttplugs. Buttplugs are his favourites, you’ll see why later-.

Jisung has lots of fun power bottoming especially this one time that he stuck the largest vibrator you both had into you and placed it on a high setting. He rode you with a grin as tears fell from your face, before he wiped them with his fingers and kissed you to ease down the stretch and constant vibrations.

His biggest kinks is filling you up with his seed or getting filled up by your cum, he likes the feeling of being filled and wearing a buttplug to keep it in. He very much likes to fill you up to the brim and keeping you plugged up. It gives him the sense that you belong to him.

He also enjoys tying you up, so that he could ride you teasingly or fuck into you relentlessly, Jisung also likes to tease you in public — So expect some ass groping or thigh groping.

His biggest no no is Weapon Play — either with a gun or a knife because it’s too dangerous for him. He hates playing with these because things could go wrong and he wouldn't want both of you to end up in the ER.

One thing, I think that he would think about a lot is threesomes — he would ask if you were opposed to it or not cuz if not then expect Minho to show up on both of your doorstep one night.

Aftercare with Jisung is 80% cuddles and affection, 19% talking/praising and 1% actual cleaning, because he would be too lazy to get up after sex. He would just lay both of you down and praise you for either fucking him well or you being a good boy for him.

Overall, Jisung is a switch with a rough dom and a obedient sub tendencies. He will take care of you well and hopefully you do the same to him~

Lee Felix

Pure Switch can top or bottom — or dom and sub. But unlike Jisung, it depends on his partner not his mood. If you’re a sub/bottom, he’ll happily dom/top you and vice versa.

B-day Twins switches supremacy and y’all can't tell me otherwise 🤨

When you’re a switch, he’ll have sex with you depending on what position, you want — Felix always wants to make sure you, his partner gets the best fuck of their life. Wanna feel him clenching around you? He’ll happily bottom for you. Want his cock deep inside you? He can make it happen too.

When subbing, Felix is an obedient sub — ready to always please you, he never becomes bratty since all he wants is to make you feel good. He would follow your every instruction clearly. Felix is also amazing at blowjobs and has learned to minimize his gagreflex so you can fuck into his mouth without worrying of hurting him too much.

When domming, Felix is a dom based on how you like it — if you want him soft or a hard dom, he can be both. When you like him soft, he gives you praises and makes sure that your legs aren't wobbly the next day. When you like him hard — then he fucks you hard, grips your hair as he’s ramming into you. Loving your moans, whines and grunts of pleasure because it reminds him that he is making you feel good.

He always complains how small his hands is because he can't finger you properly.

He always likes to try out new kinks with you. You both tried kitten play, so coming home to a Felix with cat ears and tail buttplug was shocking and a huge turn on at the same time. He also wanted to try out a collar and leash with you, so as he rails into you he could pull the leash and pull you back on his cock. Both of you agreed to try more of those from time to time.

He has a unusually high sex drive, it isn’t Minho level high but it was high enough that you could fuck twice in one day. He asks you to fuck in a funny way too, “Babe, wanna fuck?”

His biggest kink is marking (giving or receiving) he likes leaving a lot of marks on you. So usually after sex. Yours or his body is full of bruises and bite marks — since when he goes to hard on you he sinks his teeth down on different parts of your body. He also begs you to mark him when your on top.

He also likes rimming, he is very whiny when you fuck him with his tongue. He always likes to feel your wet muscle against backside. He also likes eating you out, he spreads your legs sometimes too much that you have to say it out then he goes like “Oh shit, sorry.” then resumes to eating you out.

His biggest no no is Degradation, he doesn't like calling you names like that even when he is being a hard dom, he prefers to praise you dirtily like, “You look so fucking good speared on my cock, pup.”

One thing that Felix would try with you is Choking. He wants you to choke him while have sex or for him to choke you but he needs proper guidance for that cus he doesn't wanna accidentally kill you during the session.

Aftercare with Felix is full of him cheering you up with jokes cuz he doesn't wanna let you experience dom drop or sub drop. He will also tell you pick-up lines teasingly to make you smile and laugh.

Overall, Felix is a simp for their partner therefore would also be what his partner prefers him to be on bed, whether a top or a bottom, a dom or a sub. Felix has the ability to adjust!

Kim Seungmin

Top, he doesn’t like bottoming but willing to power bottom, very rare though. Dom, don’t even try to make him submit — he’ll put you back in your place for even thinking about it. He has hard dom tendencies but soft dom on more sensual nights.

Yes, I know that most of you see Seungmin as a sub (Whoever you are come fite me fr /j)

Seungmin doesn’t like to be topped nor does he liked to be dommed, try it and you’ll get a punishment. He’d make sure you’re limping for days to come.

Seungmin is a sadist, he likes punishing you and he gets off on you struggling or crying. He wouldn’t hesitate to get on top of you and just fuck you senseless to just see your pretty tears.

Oh, Seungmin hates brats so don’t even try. You’ll be either getting harsh spanking or on your knees — making you choke on his dick. He would edge you until you become a babbling mess. So beware brats, this puppy would immediately make work of you.

He also likes humiliating you, especially when someone points out that he’s the bottom/sub in the relationship. He would argue with that person calmly before he grabs you and show you on your knees for them.

He doesn’t have a high sex drive but if you really want him too, he could go atleast once everyday.

Seungmin likes to cockwarm you, it is especially common during cuddling sessions where he would just spread your cheeks or pull down your pants for him to just insert himself inside you.

He also like a bit of somnophilia but you guys have to talk that over and he needs your clear consent for it but expect to be woken up with him thrusting shallowly inside you if you agree.

On more softer nights, either him or you is tired then he is more caring — giving you praises and giving you soft touches. He would opt for cockwarming when extremely tired or just slow sex.

His biggest kinks are: Punishments and Dacryphilia, he likes punishing you — he doesn’t like brats but he likes giving you punishments from time to time. He likes making you cry because he thinks you’re pretty when you cry but from pleasure and slight pain of course.

He also likes placing a collar on you, but if you’re not into that he wouldn’t mind it.

His biggest no no is Blood Play, he likes marking you up but he wouldn't like to cut your skin and he doesn’t like making you bleed.

One thing that he’d like to try with you is gagging you with his used boxers. Idk, he just finds the sight of it, very hot. He’d be even more willing to make sure that hole of yours is gaping for days.

Aftercare with Seungmin is him checking up on you fully, making sure he didn’t hurt you too much and he’d place some cream on any bruises he made. He wants to make your mental state after sex is intact. And afterwards you’d have some cuddles while cockwarming (if you want), whispering words like “You’re so good for me, love.”

Overall, Seungmin is dom that doesn't like being told what to do, he’d always asks if he was treating you too roughly and he’ll tone it down a bit.

Yang Jeongin

Soft Top and Soft Dom, he doesn't like to bottom because he prefers to take care of you especially since he always get babied by his hyungs.

Dominant Jeongin Supremacy, if you think he is a sub (come fight me 😭 /j)

He always babies you in bed even if you’re older than him, he calls you sweet petnames like "bubs", "baby", and "sweetheart". Things like those.

He used to be very confused on what to do during sex, so he just does things that make you let out noises — like pinching your thighs, slapping your ass lightly, jerking you off slowly and kneading your chest.

Now though, he’s much more experienced and takes time teasing, and getting you riled up. He always slowly strip himself off his clothes because he knows you whine at him being slow.

He always kiss every part of you —from your jawline, to your cock even down to your entrance — his lips had touched every single nook and cranny of your body.

He also is a bit possessive of you sometimes, especially when one of his hyungs is a bit too touchy — he sometimes gets close to you and grabs your chin to kiss you possessively, glaring at his said hyung while lip locked. — he isn't shy when it comes to what’s his. Said member didn't appreciate the upfront make up session though-

Jeongin always praises during sex, “Such a good boy for me...”, “You take me so well, baby..” are just few examples, he also says “I love you.” to you during the session.

He isn't much of a hard dom to you, the hardest he got was where he fucked you and left you after he came — leaving you to jerk yourself off sadly, to cum. He felt bad after doing that so he came back a bit later to fuck you again and this time he allowed you to cum. This happened when you were being bratty.

Jeongin is pretty vanilla when it comes to kinks, but I guess sometimes he has some wild fantasies. He has a normal sex drive, he always calls you when he needs it.

His biggest kinks are: Praises (Giving) and Foreplay. He likes to give you praises because in his eyes, you’re always his good boy. He likes foreplay because he likes to takes things slow and sensual, he likes to tease you a lot too.

Another thing he likes is marking you. He especially likes it when another one of the members see it on your neck, seeing their reaction gives him great amusement.

His biggest no no’s are threesomes, foursomes and anything to do with sharing you. Jeongin doesn't like it one bit, if you even think about a threesome — expect him to teach you a lesson.

One thing, he’d like to try is rimming. He wants to eat you out a lot especially since he is fascinated with your ass. He squeezes it alot too and now he wants to fuck you with his tongue.

Aftercare with Jeongin is a fun one, after a short break after sex, he’d get on top of you and starts to tickle you not caring about the cum on your stomach or his cum inside you (if you agree on taking it raw)

Overall, Jeongin is a soft dom that makes sure you feel the most pleasure he can give, he also likes to praise you and makes you feel appreciated and special to him.

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

You Can Just Stay (Under This Weight)

Joe Toye x Reader One Shot

Requested?: lol nah fam. I’m just a sucker for soft intimacy in the middle of violent conflicts

Warnings: potty words, a messy attempt at describing hair brushing, a most likely shoddily written Joe Toye, like a skosh of angst, 90% just wish fulfillment and fluff (sorry) 

Ya girl listened to Lullaby by Mary Glenn while writing this nonsense, a perfect song to sway to alone in the dark (but like in a dreamy/fun way?)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

With a final grunt of frustration, you threw the paddle of your broken hairbrush across the room, causing Perconte, Bill, Luz, and Joe Toye to startle as it clacked loudly to the ground.

 “Gees, Y/N,” Bill snapped, hand on his chest as if he could manually slow down his racing heart. “Don’t do that shit- fucking thought we were under attack—”

You didn’t bother to listen to the complaining sounds of upset coming from the men sitting to your left, snatching up your gun and bag before storming out of the room and heading towards the bedroom you and Joe had been assigned to for the night.

Part of you felt bad for scaring your friends by your childish outburst. The logical part of you knew that throwing your broken hairbrush had been unnecessary and needlessly disruptive and loud.

But the other part of you- the part that was sick of feeling like a goddamned invalid since you’d been shot in the hand?

Well, that part of you wanted to cause much more destruction than that.

When you got to the room dropped your stuff unceremoniously to the ground and grimaced at how loud that was, too.

The whole thing was ridiculous, and if you weren’t so frustrated with yourself you probably could’ve kept your immaturity in check.

But, after catching a stray bullet through some of the meat of your right hand from some ammo-wasting sham of a shooting competition between some drunk NCOs, you had found yourself in a bad mood that not even Luz and Liebgott could shake you from.

You were a sniper, your whole life was tied to your right hand and it’s steadiness in the field. Having that taken away, even for a little while, just served to remind you that that was about the only thing you were good for:

Shooting, reloading, firing. 

Without your gun, you were just another mouth for the mess officers to feed.

Just a stupid woman, in the way of the ‘big, brave men’ of the Airborne. 

Looking down at your bandaged hand, you sighed with defeat.

Roe had already been on your case about taking it easy, adamant that you shouldn’t push yourself lest risk further injury.

But tonight, you hadn’t even attempted to do anything high risk.

All you’d tried to do was brush your hair- something you had been attempting (and ultimately failing) to do for the past four weeks. Tonight you’d finally managed to get your hair out of it’s matted braid, your left hand managing to finger comb the three knotted sections apart with limited assistance from your right.

The moment you had tried to detangle the mess you’d realized you were going to need to utilize your right hand more. Of course, when it became painfully clear that your hand wasn’t yet up to the task of even holding on to the ratty ends of your hair, you’d allowed all of the frustration to boil over- lashing out like some toddler being denied their juvenile demand.

Now you were stuck with your tangled hair hanging around your face, unable to either brush or rebraid it.

 You hadn’t realized that someone had come in until you hear the click of the door as it closes, and when you whip your head around you realize that you’ve started to cry.

“What?” you asked harshly, voice softening at the last moment when you came face to face with Joe Toye.

He had an uncomfortable look on his face, and quickly you brought your left hand up to wipe the evidence of your tears away.

“Oh, sorry Joe,” you muttered, sniffing pathetically before clearing your throat and moving towards the spot on the floor you’d claimed earlier to be your bed for the night. “I'll get out of your way—”

“Y/N”

When you turned back to look at him you saw him holding up the still-surviving paddle of your hairbrush, a tight smile on his lips.

You grimace, looking away for a moment before meeting his gaze once more.

“Great, thanks….”

When you step closer to reach for it he hesitates, moving the brush infinitesimally away from your reach and looking at you worriedly.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and when you open your mouth to dismiss his concerns he furrows his brows and shakes his head. “And don’t tell me you’re okay or fine or whatever you were gonna say, because I know it’s bullshit.”

You scoff, chest feeling tight. “Joe—”

He gives you an exasperated look, crossing his arms across his chest and peering down his nose at you. 

Great, the Toye Staredown. As if i didn’t already feel like a petulant child…..

“I’ve known you for two goddamn years Y/L/N. I may be stupid but I’m not an idiot.”

Holding his glare, you sigh heavily and wipe at your runny nose.

“If anyone in thisroom deserves to be called a stupid idiot, I think I’m the more fitting candidate.”

Joe’s glare turns into a look of concern. One of the things he’d first loved about you was your quick wit and your refusal to bend under his good-natured ribbing. 

Seeing you look so defeated scared him.

When you made to poinch the bridge of your nose, Joe stepped in and caught your elbow. At first you were confused until you realized that you’d been about to use your right hand.

You bark a humorless laugh, letting your head loll back in rueful amusement.

“For fuck’s sake….”

Rough hands find your cheeks and tilt your face back so you’re looking at him again, and he murmurs something under his breath when he sees tears reforming in your eyes.

“What’s going on, huh? Talk to me, Y/N/N—”

“I’m useless.”

Like some dam bursting, you find yourself weepily confessing how useless you feel you’ve become, how you were questioning everything you’d once assumed to be true about yourself.

How horribly painful it was to hear about the replacements who were dying in your place while you were being kept in the relative safety of the XO camp.

To his credit, Joe didn’t interrupt you once. 

He’d listened as attentively as he would during a mission objective briefing, emitting a small tsking sound whenever your voice broke with a fresh wave of tears. Through your senseless babbling, you realized that this was the longest you’d ever seen him go without interrupting someone.

You hadn’t been able to mask your embarrassed scoff when you admitted why you’d lost your cool earlier, face hot with more than just shame.

When you’d finally stopped, Joe had nodded and taken a deep breath. 

“What can I do?”

Closing your eyes, you shake your head. “No, no, no! Joe- that’s not why….I don’t expect you to do anything—”

His thumbs wipe at the tear tracks under your eyes before he whispers your name and cuts you off, quietly telling you to look at him.

Joe’s gaze is unbearably soft, more gentle than you’ve ever seen it.

“Go sit down.”

You furrow your brows, but when you go to ask what he was planning he takes one of his hands away from your face to point towards the pile of blankets the two of you had gathered earlier.

“Drink water while you’re at it, you’ll give yourself a headache.”

Aah, there he is. There’s the Mama Toye I remember from Toccoa.

When he gave you a look that made it clear that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer, you sigh and walk over to where he’d directed you and sit heavily in the pile of blankets.

You sip from your canteen as you watch Joe shrug off his overcoat and pull off his knit cap. You couldn’t help but smile as he finger combed his dark hair back into place, finding yourself admiring how handsome he looked with it slightly overgrown and smoothed away from his handsome face.

 Ever since he’d kissed you in the middle of the Eindhoven liberation celebration, you couldn't deny that things between the two of you had ….changed.

Nothing had been established, nor had either of you spoken about it. Yet there was certainly a closeness that existed where there hadn’t been before- a sort of mutually understood agreement that you’d pair up for patrols and eat meals together.

Each night Joe would ensure that you slept by his side, and by morning you always woke up with him curled around you protectively. If the others noticed, they made no mention of it- which, considering Joe Toye’s fiery temper, was probably more for their sake than for yours.

And even if they did, you got the feeling Joe wouldn’t change a thing.

 He catches you watching him and smirks, shooting you a wink as he strides over confidently.

“At least buy a guy dinner first before eye-fucking him like that….”

You shot him a glare that only served to make him grin wider. “Thanks Joe, I’ll try to rein it in.”

He snorted a laugh as he came to sit behind you, his right leg kicked out beside yours while he scooted closer.

You turn to look at him curiously over your shoulder, unable to stop your cheeks from heating up when you see that he’s got your hairbrush in his hand.

“Uh, what’re you doing back there, Joseph?”

He leans to the side a bit so you don’t have to strain as hard to look at him, mirroring your curious expression.

“What does it look like? I’m gonna tame this rat’s nest you’ve been growing for the past month.”

You blush in earnest at that, mouth going dry when he picks up a knotted tendril and brings your brush to the ends.

With a gentleness that you hadn’t expected, he dutifully begins to patiently detangle the strands, pinching the hair’s shaft to ensure you don’t feel any tugging or snags.

Well…..This certainly was not how i thought things were going to go down tonight…. 

After sitting in stunned silence for far too long, you finally will yourself to speak.

“Uhh, you’re brushing my hair.”

He hums. “That’s right. Good observation.”

“But….you are doing it, um, well?”

“Wow, you shoulda been in intelligence- nothing gets past you.”

You huff at his snark and shoot him a baleful look.

“Joseph.”

His dark eyes meet yours with a slightly inpatient glint in them.

“Are you going to let me do something nice for you, or are you going to overthink and fight about it?”

Before you can respond he’s resumed his gentle brushing, and with another deep sigh you resign yourself to your fate.

It wasn’t as if you didn’t like it, or that you didn’t whole-heartedly appreciate Joe’s kindness- in fact, you were beginning to get anxious that you may enjoy it too much.

It’s just….you couldn't remember the last time someone had touched your hair, let alone brush it for you. Maybe childhood….? Certainly long before Toccoa. It felt so intimate now- nearly as intimate as that kiss you’d shared.

And, if you weren’t mistaken- Joe seemed to be aware of the intimacy as well.

Every so often his eyes would find yours and he’d look at you warmly, the small smile on his lips growing whenever you unintentionally shuddered as the brush scratched deliciously across your scalp.

When he finished brushing your hair out, he surprised you further by instantly beginning to resection your hair and french braid it.

“How did you….how long have you known how to braid?”

He chuckled at that, bringing a hand up to turn your head away from him before continuing to twist and weave your hair into what you suspected to be a pretty adequate braid.

“Well, i may or may not have figured it out while sitting behind you during lectures back in Toccoa, but don’t —”

“What—?!”

“....get weird about it….” he sighs, holding his hand over your shoulder palm up and wiggling his fingers impatiently until you gave him a hair tie. He wrapped the elastic around the ends before smoothing his hand down the braid, allowing his hand to drift to your shoulder so he can knead into the tense muscle.

The moan you emit is near pornographic, and a laugh catches in your throat when Joe curses under his breath like you’ve punched him.

“That feel good, Y/N?” he teases good-naturedly, but simultaneously brought his other hand up to massage at the other shoulder and made you groan again.

“Don’t know, ask me again in five minutes.”

The two of you chuckle before falling into a comfortable silence, the only sound being your quiet sighs of pleasure and his echoing hums of confirmation.

After about ten minutes of having his hands exploring your upper back you hesitantly sat back slightly so you could lean into the strong plane of his chest.

“Joe, thank you.” your voice is slow and heavy, and you feel more relaxed than you imagined possible considering the circumstances that brought you two together in the first place. “I….you are nicer to me than i deserve—”

He snorted at that, wrapping his arms around you and resting his cheek atop your head. “Shut up and let me enjoy this. It’s been too long since it was just us….”

You blush at that, glad he can’t see your face as you smile privately.

“Didn’t know you, uh, wanted there to be time with ‘just us’.”

Joe moved his hold on you so he could look down at you, a look of amused confusion on his face.

“What’re you talkin’ about? Course I do. You think I would follow you ‘round like a goddamn lovesick dog if I didn’t at least enjoy your company a little bit?”

You feel a dumb smile cross your face, and before you can reply he pinches your chin lightly and angles your face up a bit more so he can kiss you soundly on the lips. 

Just like the last time, everything around you seems to fade into insignificance, and all you can hear and smell and feel and taste is Joe Toye. You part your lips and deepen the kiss, carefully moving your injured hand up and over his shoulder so you can wrap your arm around his shoulders.

With a happy hum, Joe nibbles on your bottom lip and smiles.

“I’ll take this as a good sign, as far as the kissing is concerned?” he half asked, moving to twist your bodies so he’s leaning over you while simultaneously laying you down softly against the blankets.

You took a deep breath, looking up at him with so much love and affection it makes your chest ache.

“How observant you are, Mr. Toye. Should’ve been an intelligence officer.”

The look he gives you is wicked, and when he ducks down to kiss your cheek he lets his lips linger at your ear. “Maybe you’ll let me show you all the other things I’m really good at sometime, huh?”

Letting the fingers of your uninjured hand bury themselves in his dark locks, you croon a warm affirmation.

“Oh, you can count on that, handsome. Just wait till I get the okay to use my other hand, I’ll return the favor.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Or you could hold me now—”

He cuts you off with another overwhelming kiss that promised so much more.

“Ma’am….you’ve got yourself a deal.”

~ ~ ~ ~~ TAG LIST: @mrseasycompany​ @itswormtrain​ @mrsalwayswrite​

Per usual, thank you so much for reading my mess! Let me know if you wanna be tagged, or if you’ve got any requests (barring Perconte and Sobel)

[blackrose-ffxiv]

The Pincushion and the Porcupine 03/21

As Lebeaux Desrosiers drew the toxin out on the gentle drizzle of fresh blood the medic paused in his efforts long enough to roll her over, off of the porcupined corpse below so Rathien Tia could observe for himself. As soon as she was laid on her back he returned his attention to the hand, bleeding and purging the wound until some of the discoloration faded. “She’s breathing, albeit shallowly. Pulse is slowing. There seems to have been a paralytic in this wound, I’ve stopped the blood before it can reach her heart but there may be other factors at play. I’ll leave that to you while I tend to this.” He offered, not wishing to leave the tourniquet on longer than was necessary.

Tubisa Kikai Rolled onto her back; it seems breath came easier, though unconsciously so, of course. The twinging and tensing of her hand diminishes, if slightly, from the bloodletting. The paralytic inflicted upon her hand and forearm had been dealt with, by that treatment.

Rathien looked her over. "I can use aether to keep her organs functioning and accelerate her self regenerating process, but isolating the chemical compound might take some time." He looked her over. "I can at least for now deal with stabilizing her." He said, as aether began to collect in his fingers, glowing blue in the dim lights.

With breathing more stable from the posture on her back, Kikai sounded better, certainly. But from anyplace the medicinal practicioners touched, her pulse continued to slow. Gradually, slowly, but steadily. The probing aether would certainly aid in isolating the compound which affected her heart.

Lebeaux lowered the hand once the petrification-like tensing eased and fingers uncurled from their clawlike position. Satisfied that the gash was no longer a priority he lowered her hand down to the ground and loosened the fabric, gloved fingers staining crimson along the crisp white cravat. “That will do.” He agreed with Rathien’s suggestion to stabilize her. He removed his hat, lifting the girl’s head and tucking the stiff felt under the back her neck to tilt her head back and try to open her airways further. In case he was correct in his assumption of a garrote, it would hopefully ease the passage of air. He then grabbed the torn fabric of her shirt, cutting it further with one of his sharp blades to give them a better view of the cut. “The only visible marks are here and her leg. This is the likelier culprit.” He explained as he checked for discoloration in the veins or other markers of toxin.

Rathien placed a gentle hand on her shoulder as a means to transfer energy; taking the liberty to cradle her heart and lungs with it so that her vital functions were stabilized. "Whatever it was it looks to be attacking her cardiovascular system directly," He breathed in slow, a trance-like expression on his face as he accessed the data he found from the tether of aether. "It's plausible it was created to go straight into her blood stream, and destroy her red blood cells."

As Rathien's energy joined Kikai’s own; he would sense that most of her internals were fairly safe. However, near the impact of the cut, and carried by blood so close to her heart; that secondary toxin affected her pulse. Whatever the toxin touched, it numbed. A nerve agent, indeed. And so close to the heart, as well.

Lebeaux blinked somewhat blankly as he adjusted the lay of his gloves, shifting the rings that lay beneath before he set his fingertips on either side of the cut. Right. Cardiovascular. Blood cells. He had forgotten briefly that Rathien was Sharyalan-trained. “Take care to stabilize her just enough to keep her breathing, but not conscious as of yet. I’d rather not waste the time nor aether on pain management. Particularly while purging the ill humours attempting to seize her heart.” He explained as his saintly smile returned. Applying his own aether into the wound through the focus of his rings and down through his fingers. Seeping it into her blood stream as he pressed down against the wound. The cleansing aether slowly making its way through her veins in search of the toxins.

With aether guided by his Sharlayan-trained assistant's observations; Lebeaux's aether would locate the numbing toxin seeping, slowly, near Kikai's heart. Cleansing would not be too terribly difficult; as it hadn't travelled far. It seems the toxin had been meant to immobilize. That she was cut so close to her heart was an unfortunate happenstance.

Rathien could only nod, all of his senses working on keeping her stable while they did what they could to manage the rest. "I believe its situated itself up here," he said, using aether to guide Lebeaux as he assisted at the job of pumping her lungs and heart. "I've managed to keep it from seeping further into her arteries, but it is doing a magnificent job of destroying her pulse." 

Lebeaux furrowed dark brows as the slow process of purging the toxin went out. Teeth grit behind his saintly smile and he took his hands away from their work at the wound. It wasn’t efficient enough, considering how much progress the poisons had already made. He reached for his kit, removing a syringe with a generously gaged needle. “Freezing her pulse, spreading miasma and attack her positive humours.” He selected one of the tonics Rathien had brought with him, filling the syringe and imbuing a considerable amount of his own aether into the formula until it practically glowed. “Here, yes?” He asked as he placed two fingers on either side of the point, using the back of his gloved finger to guide the thick needle under her skin to pierce the point Rathien had demonstrated. Applying the solution directly to the problem.

The prod-- And, as flesh gave way, a groan. Kikai seemed conscious--If only slipping in and out of it. She'd likely be fully awake, had she not been stabilized by Rathien. Her breathing temporarily quickened--Before it evened out. Knives slipped from her loosened grip, clattering on the floor. The solution would mingle with the creeping toxin, and work to nullify it.

Lebeaux kept the syringe under her skin until every last drop of the antivenom/esuna solution had entered her bloodstream. He waited a few moments longer, then pulled back on the syringe’s plunger. Taking a small sampling of Kikai’s blood into chamber for further investigation at a later time. He set the syringe back into his kit and wiped his hands off on his already ruined cravat wrapped loosely around the girl’s arm. “Will she be able to maintain her pulse and breathing on her own?” He looked to Rathien, then down to the girl who seemed to be slowly coming around.

Rathien began to withdraw his aether slowly, forcing her body to act on its own. "She'll probably have some irritation left over, tightness in her chest, shortness of breath, but her body seems to be functioning by itself without any need of a handicap."

Kikai’s breath was far more stable than it had been prior. Time for her throat to adjust. With stabilizing aether through her body, she had been kept stable as they'd searched for--And applied antivenom to--The numbing-agent. As that aether was gradually withdrawn, she would drift toward consciousness, indicated by a quickening of breath, before it slowed out of necessity.* "Whe-Howwe're gotten--.." Senseless babble. Disoriented. She is, otherwise, stable; and goes silent as she grit her teeth, quietly enduring the pain consciousness brings. To her credit, she takes it fairly well.

“She’ll manage.” Lebeaux sifted through the supplies Rathien had brought along, selecting an antiseptic and handing it over to the miqo’te. “Tend to the rest.” He ordered, pointing at the smaller cuts and injuries that came from what appeared to be a throwing knife fight, if the blades she had been clutching and the state of the corpse near by were any indicators. He smirked slightly as the patient came around, mumbling hoarsely as she tried to communicate. He had expected screaming, impressive. “I wouldn’t suggest talking. It will only make your throat more painful.” He explained calmly. 

Rathien looked over at the elezen with a wary glance as he was handed the antiseptic. "Thanks..." he said flatly, ears lowering. It was quite evident he hadn't forgiven Lebeaux yet ,but this was work so...had to be nice. He smiled at the woman. "Don't try to move, Miss." He told her reassuringly. "You were injured and it will take some time to recover."

Kikai recognized the voice of one, but not the other. She lifted her head, and dipped back down immediately with a groan. She did not immediately heed given advice. "Check he's..Dead. Check.." She murmured feverishly, before the gravity of the pain hit her fully. She bit her lip hard. Crying out would make it hurt all the more. Only then did she heed the advice of the doctor and the stranger.

Lebeaux smiled sweetly at Rathien as the miqo’te begrudgingly took the antiseptic and set to work cleaning and mending some of the smaller injuries. He saw the wary expression the other wore, but said nothing of it. It was to be expected. The chirurgeon rose to his feet and looked around for something to use to cover the corpse. With a shrug he picked up a nearby scroll and laid it over the dead man’s face. Well, sort of. The knife made it tent awkwardly but still you got the idea. “In my professional opinion, this man is very very dead.” He assured Kikai. “I’ll inform Ryoko.” He turned on his heel to go find the au ra, leaving Rathien to tend to the menial wounds.

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