#I hope dyke tumblr enjoys what I have to offer

[drfrankendyke]

HEY CHECK OUT THIS SICK JACKET I THRIFTED

[5hfanfiction]

SWEET DISPOSITION: CHAPTER 5

“Do you mind if we stop so I can buy some Skittles?”

“Will you buy me something?” Lauren questions

Lucy nods her head before kissing Lauren’s cheek. “Of course.”

The two of them are on their way back to the dorm after sending the whole morning and a better part of the day in Chapter One.

With a bit of hot chocolate and nice cookies that Ally made Lucy got Lauren to open up about her kind of a break down which resulted in Lauren explaining that it all just kind of hit her.

“Nothing really happened. There’s not like one reason.”

“Okay, then what are the reasons?”

“I guess I was feeling homesick a little. I miss my parents and my sister. And being all alone in the room for the whole day did a number on me. I started overthinking and it ended up bed.”

“Overthinking what?” Lucy asked as she gently brushed Lauren’s cheek with her knuckles

“Life.” Lauren let’s out a sarcastic chuckle “I miss what I had back home. And I guess with Vero gone and you being busy I lost the only touch I had with Miami here so… and then I started thinking about all the essays and work I have to do for school and-”

“Breathe Lauren.”

Lauren otok a deep breathe and brought Lucy’s knuckles to her lips to plant a soft kiss.

“I’m okay now. I promise. I am allowed to have bad day and it does not define who I am.”

Lucy smiled proudly at her girlfriend.

“Yes you are, and no it does not.”

“Can you read for me now?”

Hand in hand they walked into the store and went straight to the cash register where they kept Skittles.

Lauren’s eyes scanned the store in a search, deciding what she wants from her girlfriend.

“Lauren no.” Lucy said as she noticed Lauren looking at the shelf behind the cashier

“I will pay for it.”

“I don’t want you to buy it at all.”

“Lucy-” Lauren said through gritted teeth

“Okay.” Lucy raises her hands up “I give up. Buy it. But I am not kissing you after you smoke it.”

Lauren rolled her eyes at her girlfriend before pulling out her fake ID and asking for a pack of cigarettes and a pack of gums.

“You know…” Lucy trails off as they leave the store

“Hm?”

“There are better ways to calm yourself down. You don’t have to smoke.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Yoga. Exercising. Weed? Me?”

“The first two are like definitely a no. The hell do you think I am? Where am I supposed to find weed?”

“How about this; the same person who gives you orgasms can give you weed too.”

Lauren smirked as she looked at her girlfriend. “We still need tobacco to roll the weed. And yes.”

“Yes what?” The older Latina furrowed her brows in confusion

“Yes I would like to have sex with you while being high.”

“I don’t remember asking that.”

“Do you not want to?”

“Oh no. I do. Even tonight if you’re up for it. But I do expect you to actually fuck me then. Although I enjoyed making you feel good last night I would like to feel good myself too.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to cum last night.”

“I did. I just like it more when you make me cum.”

Lauren laughed at her girlfriend as she shook her head.

“Unbelievable.” Lauren mumbles before giving Lucy a side hug

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you. Can we go to your room to grab it and then go upstairs to mine and use the rest of the free time before Vero comes back tomorrow?”

“Oh you were serious?” Lucy raises an eyebrow

“You weren’t?”

“Kind of? Not really? I mean, I’m up for it if you are. I just have to check how much do I actually have in my room, if not I will call Chris and-”

“Who’s Chris?”

“A friend of mine, her friend and I shared classes last year, she’s from around.”

“Don’t remember you talking about her.”

“Was I supposed to?”

“Is she your usual dealer?”

“No, but we did it a few times. Took a hit. She has some good stuff.”

As they approached Lucy’s room they heard yelling and shouting from the inside. and Lauren started running to see what’s going on. 

For some reason the door were open and Lauren burst in.

She gasps in shock once she sees that Keana is standing in there with a tall blonde boy and his hands are around her neck and tears are streaming down her face.

“P-please Philip.” Keana choked out

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Lauren yelled and the boy turned around to face her

“Who the hell are you? Leave us alone bitch.”

“The fuck I will. Move your hands or I swear to god-”

The boy chuckled but moved his hands anyway. “Or what? What are you going to do? Is this your room?”

“No but-”

“Then get lost. Leave while you still can.”

“L-Laur-”

“Shut up you bitch!” He yelled and Keana took a step back, colliding to her bed and falling on it 

“You will not talk to her like this.” Lauren said through gritted teeth as she tried to calm herself down

Philip laughed dryly at her. “Why would I listen to you? Are you the one who put her up to this? I bet you are. I bet you’re all dykes anyway.”

Lucy walks into the room just in that moment and sees Lauren trying to keep her composure. 

“Lo-”

“Lucy. Take Keana out of here-”

“I’m not leaving.” Lucy replied as she tried to hug Lauren but the younger girl brushed her off

“Is she a dyke too?” Philip asked as he looked at Lucy 

“Stop!” Lauren yelled as she took a step closer “You will leave right now and never come back near any of us.”

“Or what?” He said as he grabbed her wrists 

Lucy yelled and tried to save her but Keana pulled her back.

“Please let them go Philip. I’ll- I’ll go with-”

“No!” Lauren yelled again “Let. Me. Go.”

He smiled devilishly and gripped her even tighter. “I told you to leave and you didn’t listen.”

“Lucy? Please leave.” Lauren whispered

“No.”

“Lucy!” Lauren yelled and her girlfriend flinched

“Why don’t you listen to your little friend?” Philip smirked

Lucy looked at his hands around Lauren’s red wrists and shut her eyes, the scene being too painful to watch.

It took a few deep breaths for Lauren’s eyes to turn from green to grey and for her breathing to calm down. Suddenly it was like she wasn’t the same girl Lucy fell in love; this one was darker, much darker, the one that made Lucy’s heart break every time she was here. 

And then, in the blink of an eye Lauren managed to lift her knee up and kick Philip in his most vulnerable place which made him let go of her wrists and crumble in pain.

“No one, and I mean no one can mess with people I care about, and this amazing girl you decided to put your hands on and harm her, she’s one of them.” Lauren said through gritted teeth “Now, you will leave while you still have a chance to have kids and leave us all alone. You will never step back on the campus or come near any of us ever again. Got it?" 

Lauren pressed her feet against his chest, hard.

"I asked, got it?”

“Yes!” Philip yelled in pain

“Good, now, leave before I call the security.”

The boy tripped on his own feet as he made his way out of the door, once he was out he slammed the doors loudly and both Keana and Lucy flinched.

“Are you okay?” Lucy asked Keana 

“Y-yeah, t-thank you.” Keana replied

“Who was he?”

“My ex boyfriend.”

“Why-”

“I’m gonna go out for a walk. I don’t wanna talk about this right now.” Keana replied and stood up

“No!” Lauren yelled and the older girl stopped in fear

“I need to be alone and-”

“We’ll go. In case he’s still around. You shouldn’t walk around alone.” Lauren explained

“Lauren’s right. You should stay here. She and I are going to take a walk and then to her room, if you need anything, and I mean anything, call me?” Lucy said before pulling Keana into a tight hug

“Thank you.”

“Lauren let’s go.” Lucy said once she let go of Keana

Lauren however, didn’t move an inch, she stood in the same position that she was since she tackled Philip down.

“Lauren, let’s go.” Lucy repeated

Once again, Lauren stood there, frozen, her dark grey eyes looking into nothing.

“Fuck no.” Lucy mumbled as she took a step closer to her girlfriend

“Is she okay?” Keana questioned

 "I hope so.“ Lucy replied as she stood in front of Lauren

She cupped Lauren’s cheeks with her hands and started caressing her cheeks softly.

"Lauren, princess. I need you to come back. I need you to be here with me. Please.” Lucy said just above a whisper “Don’t do this, not now. Please.”

When Lauren once again didn’t react Lucy hugged her tightly and kissed her neck softly.

“I’m sorry.” Lauren whispered as a tear escaped her eye

“Shh, it’s okay princess. Let’s go out for a walk?”

Lauren only nodded and started walking towards the door.

“Hey Lauren?” Keana called and Lauren turned around

“Yes?”

“Thank you, for standing up for me. It means a lot.”

“Of course nugget.” Lauren offered a weak smile and left the room

“Take care of her.” Keana said to Lucy who nodded

“Of course, I always do. You take care of yourself.”

Lucy walked out of the building and found Lauren leaning on the wall, a cigarette between her lips as she inhaled the awful taste of tobacco.

As soon as she saw Lucy she threw the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it and exhaled the air from her mouth.

“I’m sorry.” She repeated once again to which Lucy shook her head

“I was so scared Lauren. This, what I was right now, you can’t let that happen again, please.” Lucy’s voice broke and Lauren pulled her into a hug

“I’m so sorry amor. I didn’t mean to scare you-”

“It’s not that you scared me, I am not afraid of you Lauren. I was afraid for you! Don’t you get it? I was scared of what you might do to him. That-inside- that, that wasn’t you. You were so dark and it reminded me of your sophomore year when you lost your brother and became someone else. That’s not who you are Lauren. I know depression is still a part of you and it probably will always be but just this morning you told me it is just a bad day. I know your bad days Lauren. You stay in and binge watch TV shows, you spend your whole day on Tumblr or in your bed, on some days you would hit me up so I can fuck you until the point you don’t feel a thing. But this? This is not just a bad day Lauren.”

“I’m sorry. Lauren said for the third time

"I love you princess, I always will, which is why I need you to understand that you might not be as fine as you thought you are and why I need you to go and see-”

“Okay.”

“Okay? You won’t put up a fight?”

“Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I am not so fine and I do need help.”

“I don’t want to force you-”

“You’re not.” Lauren shook her head “This is what I want. What I need.”

Lucy leaned over and pressed her lips against Lauren’s, pulling away just a moment later.

“You have to stop smoking.”

“I’m sorry.” Lauren mumbled and pulled a pack of gums from her pocket

“Mhm, c'mon, let’s take a walk.”

For a few minutes they just walked next to each other in a comfortable silence, Lucy tightly holding Lauren’s hand.

“Amor?” Lauren broke the silence

“Yeah?”

“You can’t tell Vero about this, or Alexa. No one can know.”

“Lauren-”

“Please Lucy. I said I’ll go to the therapy or whatever but if my parents find out, they might bring me back home and I- I can’t do that.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Can you maybe– Forget it, it’s stupid.”

“Say it princess, what’s going on up here?” Lucy asked an kissed Lauren’s head

“Will you go with me?”

“Where?”

“To the therapy? I just, at least the first time.”

“If you want me to go then I will go, as long as you need me. Anything I can do to help you.”

“I’m so in love with you.” Lauren sighed

“As am I my princess, as am I in love with you.”

“Can we go to my room?”

“Of course, are you feeling any better?”

“Kind of, a little, I think. I’m- I’m back to being me, if that’s what you’re asking. Perhaps you were right though.”

“About what?”

“This being connected to Chris.”

“It’s the anniversary, isn’t it?”

Lauren nodded her head. “Tomorrow.”

“I’m so sorry Lauren, it slipped my mind and-”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It kind of is. I know you still get nightmares about it from time to time, and it gets bad around this time and I just, I kind of forgot what date it is. I didn’t forget about his anniversary, I promise.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“How about this, we’ll go back to your room and watch a movie, anything you like, we will cuddle and tomorrow I will go to my morning class and once I come back I will take you to Chapter One for a breakfast, after that we can go to the graveyard later. It might help you.”

“Maybe we catch them shooting a scene for The Originals.” Lauren mumbled

“Maybe.” Lucy giggled “But if anything at any point makes you feel uncomfortable and you wanna go back to your room and cuddle or just be alone, let me know, deal?”

“Deal.”

Once they reach Lauren’s room and Lauren unlocks the door Lucy walks over to Lauren’s desk and takes the laptop.

“So, which movie?”

“Jem and the Holograms. Or Lemonade Mouth.”

“You and your obsession with Hayley Kiyoko.”

“She’s the queen of gays.”

“Is she gay?”

“I don’t know. She never came out, but I’m guessing she might be bi.”

“You say that for every celebrity.”

“Most of them end up being bi.”

“That’s- well, okay that’s actually true.”

“Just start the movie.” Lauren said and cuddled up closer to Lucy

Lucy pressed space and the movie started playing.

“I love Bridgit Mendler.”

“Is she even still alive?” Lauren questioned “I mean, like, is she still doing music and acting?”

“Not so sure.”

Once Lemonade Mouth was done they switched to Jem and the Holograms and somewhere during the half of the movie Lauren stopped paying attention and started playing with the pen that she had found on her nightstand.

She put Lucy’s arm in her lap and started doodling on it. At first Lucy was surprised, but not really. It wasn’t often that Lauren would do this, but it was often enough not to be surprised when she does it.

However, Lauren didn’t really notice what’s going on until half of Lucy’s arm was covered in black ink and the older Latina spoke up. “Do you think I’d look hot with a sleeve like this?”

“A what?” Lauren asked as she looked up

“A sleeve. Tattoos all over my arm?”

“Why would- Oh fuck. I kind of zoned out and-”

“It’s okay. I like it when you make art on my arm.”

“It’s not art.” Lauren mumbled shyly

“Yes it is. You know, some people are artists. Some people are simply art. I came to the conclusion, you my princess, are both. An artist and an art. The most beautiful masterpiece, may I add.”

Lauren ducked her head low as she felt her cheeks getting hot.

“Estoy enamorada de ti.”

“Stoop.” Lauren whined

“I mean it, all of it.”

“Lucy?”

“Hm?”

Lauren bit her lip nervously before speaking. “Do you ever wish you could be with other girls? Like, we’re in college and you’re practically tied down to me.”

“What? No. Where did this come from? Is that ow you feel?”

“No, of course not.” Lauren shook her head “I just, I don’t know. College is to experience things and be wild, enjoy life and-”

“And I am doing that. With my partner in crime right by my side, where I need her to be. What’s this about?”

“The other day in class a few of us talked about this, how college is to figure out who you are and who you want to be. And it make me think, we’ve been together since I started high school-”

“A few months before but continue.” Lucy corrected her

“Exactly. You didn’t really have a chance to be with anyone and I don’t want you to hate me for it later. If-if you want to try stuff with other people-”

“I told you this already Lauren. The only way I will try stuff with other people, well girls, because boys are a no-go for m, is if we do it together.”

“So, you really wanna do a threesome?”

“It’s not that I want to. I don’t have to. All I am saying is that, if you would want to give it a try, I’d be up for it, if it’s a girl. Unless you kind of want to be with a guy? I mean, you never really were with a guy and-”

“I never was with anyone but you, in any type of a way. I don’t mind. I only like you. Obviously, I find other guys and girls hot and cute and whatever, but never to the point where I would want to actually be with them. I’ve got you for all the cute stuff and sexy stuff. But a threesome does sound nice.”

Lucy laughed loudly and Lauren joined her.

“You are such a dork.”

“I know.” Lauren grinned before pulling her in for a kiss

“I think it’s time.” The younger Latina said and moved the laptop away

“Time for what?”

“To return the favor from the last night.” Lauren wiggled her eyebrows and Lucy giggled

“Well then, I’m all yours. Make me see the music and listen to the colors.”

“I swear you’re fucking high all the time." 

"Got them good stuff from Colombia.”

“How do you even get that stuff?”

“You smuggle it through the airport with your brother.” Lucy smirked

“You what?”

“If you know how to pack it right and don’t put it in your purse, it’s all good.”

“I’m dating a criminal.” Lauren groaned

“How am I a criminal if you stole my heart?”

Lauren looks at her girlfriend and bursts out laughing.

“That was so cheesy." 

"I was trying to be cute.” Lucy huffs

“You’re always cute amor.” Lauren says before leaning closer and connecting their lips into a passionate kiss

[number9580-blog]

Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfuck and Trans Blogs to watch out for

The big sexy, hot, smart, fierce, masculine, amazing, handsome, strong, sweet, thoughtful, bulging, turgid list of Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfucking, Masculine-of-Center and Trans Blogs

The other day, I realized I had a hunger for new butch blogs to read.  So I started trolling blogrolls and then realized ‘butch’ doesn’t cover all of what I’m looking for.  What really peaks my interest are people talking about and living outside the gender binary.  Though I started with a blogroll category of “Butches to Watch Out For”, I’ve changed that to “Bend it like …” because what I’m really trying to get at is the gender bending, defying the default gender system in favor of something that works for all of us.

I always feel a thrill when I find new blogs where the authors are exploring gender, pushing the envelope and redefining the definitions.  Because my personal exploration is being done from the perspective of someone who started life female, bloggers who are on similar journeys appeal to me.  I want to compare notes, I want to find new words, new ways of describing the smell, taste, sound and feeling of female-born masculinity.  I now have a pretty good collection, some are friends I’ve met or chatted with, some are blogs I’ve found through the blogrolls of others.  In each case, I’ve found s0me kind of kinship, something I can relate to and learn from.

It’s kind of funny that in the midst of building up my list of butches and others who bravely break stereotypes every day in diverse situations and lives, I found that ridiculous WikiHow article on How to Be a Butch.  Clearly, the authors of that article haven’t met very many butches.  I’m not going to be foolish enough to write a How To guide for butches, but I do invite you to visit these and look for others.

New as of 5/8/2014

Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide: now that I’m in the midst of evaluating options for medical transition, this website has become indispensable to me.  Full of detailed, factual, non-judgmental information on all the things that come up for someone who is looking at options for transition from female assigned at birth to … something else on the masculine side.  I especially geeked out on the explanation of the different formulations of testosterone, including chemical structure diagrams and the pros and cons of each formulation.

New as of 8/20/2013

NeutroisNonsense:  I surprised myself the other day by finding out I hadn’t already added this blog, written by my friend Micah.  Micah’s beginning to make a name around non-binary identities, asexuality and non-binary transitioning.  Micah is one of my favorite people and has a lot of really smart, informative things to say about gender, identity and talks about the challenges and rewards of navigating through a binary world as a non-binary person.  One of my trans* heroes,

Learning How To Tell You, BD Swain:  This is a butch erotic blog after my own heart (or maybe somewhere lower).  BD joins Sinclair Sexsmith and I in the very rare world of butch erotic writers and does it with pants tightening style.  ”My name is BD Swain. I’m a butch dyke who enjoys writing queer smut – not just because it’s fun, but because sex and pushing my sexual expression is what makes me feel most alive. I am turned on by trust and by pushing the boundaries of it.”

New as of 4/12/2013

ButchOnTap: blogger Butch Jaxon says, “I see the world in a particular way. This blog is about how I see the world, both the good stuff (like beer) and the bad stuff (like idiots), but hopefully always funny.” Though I don’t always see eye to to eye with this blogger on all things butch, that hardly matters because it’s a big enough definition for all of us.  This blogger has had a couple of articles on HuffPost (look for Tristan Higgins), will probably have more in the future, and is definitely a Butch to Watch Out For.

LGinDC:  formerly the blogger known as G, of Can I Help You Sir, now in DC finding her way amongst the monuments and government entities, here’s what she has to say about herself and the blog, “I’m tall. I’m a smart-ass. I like eating with chopsticks. I’m butch. I love the Chicago Cubs and Bears. I’ve broken my nose twice. I love animals. I look horrible in yellow. I’m engaged. I love bourbon. I’m equally enamored with Beyonce and Ron Swanson. I’ll try just about anything once. I’m Irish. I live in Washington, DC. I’m a Scorpio. And I write about things.”

Genderqueer Pie Please:  [no updates since 12/2013] blogger Jake Jacobsen says, “Genderqueer isn’t a new movement, it isn’t even a movement, or new, it’s been around a long, long time, as long as I can remember. Ways of being “out”, seen, heard, and conceptualized are continuously being created through our use of language, and not just by the so called sexual minority, but by everyone. Genderqueer is one of those fairly recent creative wordage attempts at redefining a lived experience of gender that is a reality for a portion of the population.”

The Brown Boi Project is a community of masculine of center womyn, men, two-spirit people, transmen, and our allies committed to transforming our privilege of masculinity, gender, and race into tools for achieving Racial and Gender Justice.  These are great, energetic, dynamic people who are dedicated to their mission.  If this is of interest to you, check out their website and get involved.

New as of 5/16/2012

Trans Vocals: [inactive] I’m glad to see my friend, Holden, is coming back to the blog-o-sphere.  He’s got a new blog, Trans Vocals, and will be talking about his transformation and transition.  I’m very happy to see this thoughtful, intelligent person generously offering to share his insights and progress with the rest of us.

New as of 05/12/2011

fuckyeahbutches: this is a tumblr on the theme of butches, from Jenny Shimizu, to old school butches to butches like, well, me.  Check it out for eye-candy or for images of people who remind you of you and your friends.

Butch Wonders:  this blog shows great promise with posts pondering the potential adverse effects of wearing a tie to interviews, defending her choice to wax and shave, and a great post on Butch Buddies.

New as of 04/19/2011

thoughts ON: [last post 12/2013] blogger Andy posted on the topic of being trans, but not enough to transition, for more on Andy’s thoughts on this ‘middleground’, read I AM trans.  I just don’t try very hard.  From Andy’s bio:   Andy is a recent college graduate living in New England. When not engaged in queer activism Andy spends a lot of time kayaking, reading, and trying to change the world with a combination of twitter, church, and positive thinking while trying to decide on future plans which may, or may not, include ministry; but that’s the direction things are leaning right now.  Andy works for various LGBTQ organizations and loves them all dearly.

(L)earned Masculinity:  [last post 7/2012] this blogger used to post on a blog called Break it Down, Butch, but recently transitioned to this new space, acknowledging his passage from butch identified to trans identified.  Add this one to your readers and follow DK on their journey down the genderbrick road.  DK’s about page contains this line, one of my favorites found in anyone’s biography:  My soul is blue and smells faintly of cedar.

Debonairgeek:   I’m a nice guy. I am just trying to find my voice.  Em wrote a post called,Deep Thoughts, talking about being butch and genderqueer and I really relate to almost all of what they’re saying.  And, if you’ve ever wondered when and how to ‘pop your collar’ (and even if you haven’t), you should read this:  entertaining, informative, funny.

MTF Butches (tumblr): This tumblr was inspired by the existence of other amazing tumblrs such as Fuck Yeah Cute Trans Chicks, Fuck Yeah FTMs, Femme FTM, as well as others. This page is meant to provide an additional empowering space for the multitude of trans* gender expressions.  This is an inclusive space for the celebration of all butch, futch, butch-femme switches, grrls, genderqueer, genderfluid and other likewise MTF spectrum folk out there! Let’s represent some butch trans women!

Fuck Yeah FTMs (tumblr): Tumblr dedicated to FTMs, genderqueers, and others along that spectrum.  Submissions are accepted, but moderated and you should follow the theme of the day:  Muscle Mondays, Topless Tuesdays, We Wednesdays, Underwear Fridays, Fuzzy Sundays.  Check the submission link for more information and guidelines.

New as of 01/25/2011

Gendercast:  Our Transmasculine Genderqueery:  Podcasts hosted by Sean Leao and Jessie.  So far there are two podcasts, plus audio biographies from the hosts.  Gendercast is a podcast looking to build community and we are encouraging participation at every turn.  We speak to the entire transmasculine community, including genderqueer identified and beyond and of course, those who love them!

A Butch in the Kitchen.  This blog gets into the nitty gritty of cooking butch with recipes, techniques and even some kitchen gear for the butch kitchen queer. She says she’s a novice but I’ll be her skills are just ready to be discovered.  So far there are two recipes up:  Cherry cobbler and ice cream bread.  As a Butch Baker, I’m intrigued by these, but also looking forward to ideas in the appetizers and main courses categories.  Butch in the Kitchen has a list of other food sites to check out and will also take submissions of recipes and photos from other cooks.  I’m also wondering if anyone’s doing a Butch Cocktails site… hmmm.. maybe there’s a market for that.  Follow this butch on twitter, as Butchndakitchen.

New as of 1/12/2011

Mixing it Up, JizLee.com:  Genderqueer porn star, certifiably sexy individual, Jiz Lee says this about their blog — It’s a website and blog I run as a vehicle to share my experiences of sex and gender, film and photography. I hope it can provide a resource to queers and allies out there interested in my projects or wanting to find someone like themselves represented in the work I do and the ideas I express. Follow Jiz on twitter, check out their performances in the Crash Pad Series, the movie Champion and anywhere else you can.  My personal connection is fleeting but squee worthy:  I met Jiz at the New York City Sex Bloggers Calendar party in 2009 and mentioned I had this blog.. which Jiz totally knew about “Oh! You’re Kyle!” *hug* .. but that’s not all, Roxy introduced herself and got a very long,  full body hug.  I think that means Jiz approves of my taste in women

New as of 12/29/2010:

ButchLab:  Sinclair Sexsmith’s latest contribution to the community:  The mission of the Butch Lab Project is to promote a greater understanding of masculine of center gender identities, expressions, and presentations, through encouraging: 1. visibility, because we feel alone; 2. solidarity, because there are many of us out there, but we don’t always communicate with each other; and 3. an elevation of the discussion, because we have a long history and lineage to explore and we don’t have to reinvent the wheel.  Follow @butchlab on twitter as well.

On Being Butch:  a very new and shiny butch-oriented blog by J-Rob, “I’ve only recently come to realize that butch is my gender, not just a role I play, and that has opened a lot of space for me to be who I am.  Again, it’s odd, I’m 33 and I have been who I am my whole life, but I’m only just starting to understand what “who I am” actually means.”

Butch.org:  by Jenni Olson, director of e-commerce at WolfeVideo.com and an LBGT queer cinema historian.  Author of The Queer Movie Poster Book (2005, Chronicle Books), Jenni was also one of the founders of PlanetOut.com where she established the massive queer film industry resource, PopcornQ. She continues to write about queer films, as well as curating, collecting, and creating them. Her feature debut, The Joy of Life is now available on DVD.

Added 11/16/2010

Lesbian Neurotica, by Ulla, a butch dyke in South Africa who writes and draws cartoons and leaves thoughtful comments on a lot of the blogs I read.

Added 10/12/2010

A Stranger in This Place, by Wendi, who describes herself as “a motorcycle riding butch lesbian, retired accountant turned photographer and writer searching for her purpose in life and learning to enjoy the ride.”  Wendi’s working on a book and participated in the Gender/Queer Spoken Word event for BV PDX on Sunday.  I’m looking forward to reading more from Wendi.

Words of a Boi, by Jessie.  This writer read something written during Sinclair’s writing workshop that stuck with me.. so much so that I instantly recognized it when I saw it on their blog a few days later.   It’s a beautiful work of prosecomparing gender to a flower.   This writer uses poetry, wonderful imagery and an openness that is very engaging.

Added 8/2/2010

Andi HB’s blog.  Andi is a butch I met through twitter and another person who met and fell in love with someone through twitter (hey hey, Missy).  Yes, the west coast butch fell for the Nawlins femme…  can’t wait to see the Disney version.  Andi’s a fan of all things Irish, the New Orleans Saints and, of course, Missy.  Her latest post featured a damn fine pair of butch shoes.  You can follow her on twitter as @andi_hb.

bracketabracket:  [a] is a new blogger, just discovering the world of butch, trans, genderqueer, poly, BDSM blogs, since mid-june ’10, has been offering insights and stories of his own.  Check out [a]‘s blog for posts about Transgender issues, BDSM and kink, Sex, Love, Relationships, Theater, Art, Politics.

Added 6/25/2010

Bron’s blog, Duct Tape Tomatoes, is new since May of this year, but already has me pulled in with her charm and honesty.  I really, really love reading stories about people becoming themselves, it’s not only inspiring, it refuels me.   The latest one that I really loved was The Manicure… butch gets mani/pedi, freezes at nail polish choices and plays Mario Brothers with new little brother.

Dear Diaspora isn’t a new blog, and a lot of you probably already read it, but I’m new to S. L. Bond’s view of the world.  And that view, as communicated on DD is that of a Jewish Dyke and art student living in New Mexico.

Bee Listy is another blogger who’s been at it a while, Bee is a crafty, savvy butch who writes on a variety of topics.  One post that really struck home with me recently was You know what’s awesome?, where Bee speaks of her frustration over the Butch-Trans border wars and wonders why some people don’t think there’s enough masculinity to go around for all those who want to claim it.  Bee tweets as Beelisty.

Original list

Sugarbutch Chronicles:  my gateway into the world of butch blogging and one of the most popular blogs around.  Sinclair Sexsmith’s blog is your guide to sex toys, gender awareness and butch sexuality.  After stalking Sinclair through blog posts and twitter for a long time, was happy to finally meet her in person at the New York Sex Bloggers Calendar Party last November.  Over two years ago, when I discovered Sugarbutch Chronicles, what first caught my attention was the idea of butch erotic writing, which eventually led to the existence of Butchtastic.  Sinclair lent support, practical advice and encouragement and has been a great source of inspiration.  Sinclair tweets as @mrsexsmith.

Packing Vocals:  Holden is one of my favorite butch erotic writers, a family guy, a snappy dresser and a good friend.  Married to one of my favorite femmes, Femmeismygender, Holden tweets as @packingvocals.

NattNightly:  Natt isn’t blogging as much anymore, but if you love beautiful writing and honest accounts of self-discovery and gender, it’s worth your time to read through the archives.  I’ve been moved to tears more than once, from the sheer painful rawness of some stories and also from a severe case of writer’s envy.  Having met and spent time with this super cool, super smart butch, I can say without question, Natt is very tall and is a lot of fun to hang out with.   Natt tweets as @nattnightly.

Just Like Jesse James:  This Seattle butch is an unabashed Cher fan and will also discourse at length on the virtues of the Golden Girls, if you just give her half a chance.  Jesse blogs about Cher, life with her girlfriend and dog and the various other critters who inhabit their lives.  Another blogger I’ve had the good fortune to meet and hang out with in real life, we live close enough to do it again, and we’re gonna, so watch out world.   Jesse James tweets as @justjessejames.

Mina Meow/Aiden Fyre:  Depending on when you meet this blogger you might think.. “Wow, hot femme” or “Mmmgrrr, who’s that sexy boi?” and you wouldn’t be wrong either way.  Mina/Aiden is exploring gender thoroughly and with the kind of bravery, poise and intelligence we all should aspire to.  This blogger writes about gender, sexual politics and how it all fits into the life of a “try-sexual”.  I count it as one of the high points of my life that I’ve shared a deep passionate kiss with this hot and sexy blogger (and watched a make-out session with my girlfriend — yes, you should envy me).  Follow on twitter as @aidenfyreand/or @minameow.

Butch GirlCat:  Leo McCool isn’t blogging anymore but he was one of the first butch bloggers I gravitated to and fell in love with.  Leo’s sometimes heart-wrenchingly honest stories about love, relationships and the journey to find his gender home are a must read for anyone else trying to find their way between the gender poles.

X-Ray Introductions:  I first became aware of Arron when he was my secret Santa recipient and I sent him a cool metal studded belt and belt buckle.  I finally met Arron during a visit to see Roxy in San Francisco.  Over the years, I’ve enjoyed Arron’s video product reviews and stories about life.  Arron tweets as @amok_.

The Freezing Flames:  Firebolt is a genderqueer youth living in India, dealing with the challenges of a family that doesn’t get it in a society that really doesn’t get it.  Firebolt is way ahead of where I was at that age, and living under much more trying circumstances, and has my unswerving admiration as a result. Tweets as @fireboltx.

Bren Ryder:  Bren is the butch creative genius behind GoodDykePorn and as such, deserves our unending gratitude.   Bren works hard to produce real, hot, queer porn with real queers.   Bren is someone I know I’ll get to meet someday in RL, and I’m really looking forward to that.  Bren tweets as @brenryder.

Jess I Am:  Jess is courageous, thoughtful and honest in telling the story of how he went from being a butch to a transman.  Life has handed him a lot of challenges in the past couple of years, but with his wife, Tina, at his side, he’s handled those challenges with grace and strength.  I almost had the privilege of meeting these two during my trip to NYC, but it didn’t work out, but I have a very strong feeling we’ll all meet up at some point in RL.  Jess tweets as @JessIAmBlog.

How to Be Butch:  One of the newer blogs on my reader, Harrison doesn’t really try to tell you how to be butch, because, as the banner says “There’s more than one way”.  Instead, you get some fun and insightful posts on Harrison’s exploration of butchness and gender and life.    Harrison tweets as @HarrisonTB.

Sartorial Butch:  A blog about butch fashion, the culinary arts and all around butch goodness.  Another of my newer blog habits, SartorialButch is now featured on Butch-Femme.com and tweets as @SartorialButch.

She Called Me Superman:  Yondergen’s blog tagline is “writing myself down so I can be found, or followed” and that’s really the goal of most of us who blog, isn’t it?  Yondergen explores the butch-masculine-queer gender mix that is the heart of the matter for me as well.  Plus baking, relationships, the quandaries of how to express and understand it all.

Musings from the High Speed Rodeo:  Rhett’s writing is rapid and rhythmic, filled with great observations, honesty and humor.  Rhett is the Asphalt Cowboy, go on over there, y’all, you’re in for a great ride.

Can I Help You, Sir?:  Going by the initial, G, this butch blogs about gender, butchness and identity.  G tweets as @canihelpyousir and has (had?) a regular feature called the Swoon List.

Lesbian Dad:  I’ve had the Lesbian Dad on my reader for a long time.  LD writes about her family, posts the sweetest pictures of her daughter and son and talks about parenting, politics and popular culture.  My Suburban Butch Dad Reports were inspired by the Lesbian Dad.   Follow her tweets @LesbianDad.

The Butchelor:  another brave, honest blog from the perspective of a butch lesbian starting to come out as trans.  Even though I’m not trans, I find myself relating to guys like this who are born in a body that doesn’t completely match who they are on the inside.   It’s personal, it’s real, you should check it out.  Tweets as @thebutchelor.

Break It Down, Butch:  a blog I’ve discovered recently written by a butch who isn’t afraid to get it all out there.  I appreciate the passion and honesty of this blogger and look forward to reading more.

Transitional Life (Life in Transition):  Emmett takes us on his journey from butch to trans complete with family drama, changes brought on by testosterone, new names and the other challenges of life.  Emmett is a lovely guy, wonderful with animals (he’s a vet tech) and people (especially kids, kids love him) and I wish him all the best as he continues on his journey.  He’s got a YouTube channel, labradork1 where he’s been tracking the changes brought on by his transition.  Emmett tweets as @friendtopups.

Butch Boo:  BB is one of my earliest readers, a Brit Butch Blogger in London who recently posted a lovely grouping of pictures featuring butch footwear.

A Gender Queer View:  Natasha Yar-Routh’s place on the web.  A married gender queer trans-woman who posts short little nuggets of political observation and thoughts on life.  Tweets as @xiomberg.

Gender Me Softly:  The only couple-authored blog on my list, this blog is brand new, they just started this month.  T. J.  and Rhylee Flint share love, lives and blog space.  Thad is a butch, likes the word ‘queer’ (so do I) and enjoys cultivating a masculine look through binding and packing.  Rhylee is a queer female who’s exploring her gender and gender expression from a more femme perspective.

Gender Outlaw:  this is a blog chronicling Joshua Riverdale’s  FTM journey.  Even though transitioning isn’t for me, I’ve learned a lot from his blog entries, videos and tweets, and appreciate his wit and intelligence.  If you are curious about transitioning, or looking for genderqueer related resources (think binding, packing, etc), consider this blog and his website, transguys.com, as great starting points for the personal stories and resources.  He’s got some of the best sideburns ever.. I’m totally having some envy over those.  Josh tweets as @transguys.

Genderfork:  this is a community blog, who’s mission is to support community for the expression of identities across the gender spectrum.  They tweet as @genderfork and post profiles of genderqueer/fluid/variant folks.

Get Off My Lawn:  wow.. now that’s a pretty grumpy blog title.  Read the About Me and see a lot of bullet points.. this blogger loves bullet points, and was highly influenced by popular culture icons such as Matlock, Hank Hill and Mulder and Scully.  As grumpy as the blog title is, I find this blogger highly amusing and fun to read, go check it out and see if you feel the same way.  Tweets as @benjamin_bex.

Just a Big Guy with a Fun Sense of Sin:  S. Bear Bergman’s Live Journal.  I got to see Bear on a book reading tour with Ivan Coyote, and bought his book “The Nearest Exit May be Behind You” that night.  Bear is a transman, new father and a gifted story teller.  Bear tweets as @sbearbergman.

Visibly Transparent:  Bear’s husband, Ishai, has a Live Journal as well.  He carried their son Stanley and I can relate to his stories about the fertility clinic, pregnancy, birth and parenting.

Love Kills Slowly (tumblr):  tumblr account of Val, known on twitter as @rugby8.  Val posts pictures of sexy women, and the occasional quote.

somewhere in the middle:  Nezu says it best “This is my place for looking at the middle ground of gender identity and sexual preference. And who knows, probably other stuff, too.”  I’ve just begun to explore this writer’s musings about butchness, gender, identity and relationships.

TG Stone Butch Journal:   Corey Alexander is a well-known queer kink/sex educator and writer.  He can be found all over the country at conferences teaching and speaking on topics as diverse as polyamory, butch faggot play, stone sexuality and a myriad of other topics around gender and sexuality.  Corey tweets as @tgstonebutch, look for his queer BDSM erotica under the nom de plum, Xan West.

The Man Sam:  Son of T:  Former female Sam Peterson tells all in this blog about transition.  Looking forward to his chest reconstruction surgery thanks to ChestFest2010, Matt is wonderfully honest, funny and self-deprecating — a combination I particularly enjoy.  Follow him on twitter as @ThaManSam.

Transfaggotry:  Faggot Boi blogs about pronoun anxiety, leaving the lesbian identity behind, and other topics around becoming trans.

Transifesto:  Matt Kailey’s place on the web.  Matt shares information and his thoughts on transgender and transsexual issues.  He’s a nationally recognized speaker and author on transgender issues and tweets as @MattKailey.

Androgynanomous: DPR (Dread Pirate Roberts) is the sweetheart of one of my favorite online people, Scintillectual.  DPR just started blogging not long ago, but has already established a rhythm with poetry, musings on gender and sweet, sensual tributes to her lover.  Tweets as @dread_pyrate.

butchboi:  this site is run by the infamous Leo, of the Big Pink House.  This is a site for cruising and networking, for those who identify as butch, boi, trans, gender queer, stud, drag king & their friends.  The free membership opens up some features: forums, events and cruising, videos and a chatroom.  The Cruising feature is fun, you can hone in your search by age, geography with more features available to subscribers.  Check out the tweets from @ButchBoiLeo and @ButchBoi and@BigPinkHouse to keep up with the ButchBoi happenins.

This is the list so far, I like the length and heft of it (heh!) and I really like the diversity.  The bloggers on this list have a stories to tell, experiences to share and I will continue to learn a lot from them.  The breadth of this group, from the more female identified butch to the more male identified trans, meet the needs I have to explore the many facets and identities within me.  There are some super smart people on this list, and funny too… great writers, open-hearted honest people, sometimes frustrated, but trying to make the world a better place for themselves and others.   It may be hubris on my part to count myself as one of them, but these people have nurtured, coached and supported my journey as well.  Even if we don’t make the same decisions, or come to the same conclusions, we’re all asking the same kind of questions, and questioning the same assumptions.

I encourage you to visit these blogs, read their stories and add them to your regular rotation if they appeal to you.  And if I’ve left someone out, someone you think would fit into this list, please be so kind as to introduce me to them.

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