#I hope my writer skills bleed through a bit and I manage to fully display my rage and malice to this character

[some-pers0n]

rant about webs

I don't think you fully understand what you've unleashed here. You have just given me leeway, an excuse, to rant about my absolute least favourite character ever made.

Before I begin, I want to preface that, despite using strong language every now and then, I don't hate characters. I don't hate a lot of things. I dislike or don't agree with things, especially minor stuff like Glory's character arc not being as great as it could be or not care for arc 3, but I don't hate it.

I hate Webs. There has never been another character out there in any piece of media I detest more than this worthless sack of scales. He is abominable. He is nothing. He is useless. I hate him. I am revolted and disgusted by his mere existence.

I don't hate people who like him. If you like him, cool!! I like seeing other opinions! I may disagree with you entirely, but I don't want to come across that I literally hate people who don't share my opinion. I don't hate them at all. They're cool!! I'm just an overly emotional person on the internet who wants to wring the neck of a fictional dragon as if it were a wet towel.

Oh yeah, I also get a wee bit...intense and very aggressive. Be warned.

With that being said, I'll begin.

Webs is a nothing character. I don't think I have ever seen such a frustratingly empty and lifeless character. He is a shell. A husk. Any words he says holds no weight or meaning. He is speaking, but not talking. He has zero personality. He has no life. Looking at him and seeing him and his words gives off nothing. He is more hollow than an NPC in a early SNES game that only repeats the same line of dialogue.

Webs and his lack of a compelling personality is a large part of why I despise him. The greatest sin a character can be is boring. I can handle annoying characters, because at least then they have something to latch onto. A character that is completely dull is beyond infuriating. I want to bite a hole in his neck. He's soulless. He does not exist as a person. He is words on a page. It sounds redundant since every single character is technically just that, but their personality is what makes them real. Webs is not real. Webs is not even two-dimensional. I hesitate to say he's even one-dimensional since that would imply there's a dimension to his character.

I adore characters. Characters and dialogue are my favourite things to write about. I like my larger than life characters and personalities, obviously. I love being entertained by fun and compelling characters. While I'm personally fond of villains, I enjoy just about any character with...something to latch onto. Something to make me care about them for one reason or another. Whether it be their backstory, personality, relationships with the other characters, etc.

Webs is an void of creativity and depth. He is a cosmic horror with how maddeningly and stupidly terrible he is. It genuinely makes my blood boil and head spin to think about him. I'm on the verge of an actual headache writing this. I despise this terrible thing.

Webs is not a character. Webs is an anomaly. It is borderline impossible to somehow create a character that is virtually impossible to find anything to care about, but Tui managed to do it. I'd compare him to smooth, wet surface with no grip or anything to latch onto, but that would imply that he would be interesting in any regard. A surface that doesn't have anything to hold onto is fascinating. Webs is not that. Webs and his lack of anything is beyond that. He is worse than boring. I hate him.

That's not even mentioning the stuff he's done. Oh GOD the stuff he's done.

Webs often gets labeled as the ""best"" guardian because he doesn't explicitly physically and verbally abuse children. How sweet!! I'm going to bash his head into a wall and watch the entrails spill out and onto my hands. He STILL neglected the DoD and sat there like a spineless coward while they were being abused.

Hey, wanna hear something that'll blow your mind into a thousand pieces and leave you a bloody screaming mess on the floor, wailing in agony and begging God to save you from this hell? Neglect is still abuse!! Yippeee!!!! Wahoo!! :)

Webs sat there like a useless coward while children were abused. So likable!! Yeah, realistic for his character (which is so shallow that it's just flat earth), but it doesn't make me care about him. It makes me hate him. I hate Webs. I hate him so much.

Webs was scared of Kestrel and Dune, but that doesn't excuse him from sitting idly by like the goddamn waste of space that he is and doing absolutely nothing. He then is seem as the "good guy" by the DoD because ohhh boo hoo he's so sad and pathetic. :((( Yeah he's pathetic. I want to see him dropped off a cliff and fall to his demise.

B–b–but what about Riptide? Riptide? Who gives a shit about him and Riptide?? The books don't!! The books had the FULL power to turn this into an actually interesting plot point and did NOTHING! NOTHING!!! Riptide is a stale and empty piece of cardboard (like father like son), but husband only saving grace is that he has a SHRED more personality and charm than his limp-dick bastard father.

But, okay. Okay, okay, okay. I suppose I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Let's see what Webs did.

Oh!! Webs basically abandoned his wife and infant child and left them for dead? He allowed his wife to be executed by Coral and for his son to be known and have to carry the weight of being the son of the kingdom's betrayer? HOW WONDERFUL! HOW NICE! HOW GOOD! God I want to see the life drain from the eyes of this overized Petsmart disease-ridden gecko.

The worst part is KNOWING he could've been better. This whole plot point? It could've been so interesting. So nuanced. But, NO!! No, no, NO! That would require Tui putting some actual goddamn effort and work into this character, which he doesn't deserve in the slightest. What does he deserve? Being put six feet underground.

Webs is a parasite on my mind. I have never wanted to have anybody suffer like him. I hope there is a dragon hell so that he gets to live through the torment he forced his wife, Riptide, and all of the Dragonets of Destiny through for eternity. I hope he feels his wife's throat being torn open by Coral and the agony from it. I hope he feels every lash and every cut and every insult that Kestrel and Dune dealt out to the DoD. I hope he doesn't get a moment of peace.

He should have died at the very least. He is the least interesting guardian out of all of them. For GOD'S sake Asha and Hvitur are infinitely more interesting characters than him. ASHA DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING SHOW UP. SHE'S DEAD BEFORE THE STORY STARTS.

Kestrel has connections and links to such important characters. I don't like her and disagree that she should've lived past TDP, but I respect her character. Her impact on the DoD, Peril, Sky, etc is undeniable.

Dune has connections to Six-Claws and Thorn. We know he was a trusted member of the Outclaws and was once highly respected.

Hvitur, despite being an IceWing and not a part of the prophecy, is accepted to be a guardian. He believed with all of his might and soul that the prophecy would work. He had faith.

Asha, despite being a MudWing, desired a family. It's mentioned by Cattail and leaves open the idea that Asha was uncharacteristically caring and sweet for an adult MudWing. I always believed she was like Hvitur in a sense, joining the cause because she wanted to raise children and help end the war.

Webs has nothing. He is nothing. He is worthless. He is useless. He is a coward. I want him gone. Killing him in fanfiction or even in canon isn't enough now. I need him erased from existence. I don't want to spare another fraction of a millisecond to think about him. He doesn't deserve it.

I hate Webs.