#I hope this makes any sense akjsd;flajsdlkfj

[luci-cunt]

Tell us more about the Sherlock Holmes au pls 🥺

ABSOLUTELY I’LL TELL YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING DKJF:LJSD:FLKJSD:LFKJ

So--first of all the biggest thing is that Geralt is 100% Watson and Jaskier is 100% Sherlock and I will die on this hill

Geralt BS--Vesemir’s an old cop who used to help out at a local boys home where Geralt, Eskel and Lambert all grew up, they all regularly hung out/ haunted the old cop’s house until they were going to get split up and convinced Vesemir to adopt them all. It wasn’t super great, since he wasn’t the best father figure (v gruff/ v into being a cop) but they’re all still close. Eskel and Lambert went into lawforce with Vesemir but Geralt went into medicine. Since he’s family with basically half the police force they call him in to bother him/ have him consult sometimes, which is how he meets Jaskier.

Jaskier BS--he goes by Jaskier instead of Julien because his family is old money and stupid. They didn’t like the fact that he “wasn’t normal” and were generally pretty shit to him, so it was a mutual relief when Jaskier left the day he turned 18 to live as a drifter for a while. (Unfortunately this is where he discovered a predilection for cocaine and heroine, but also where he met Vesemir, who recognized his skill in deduction and gave him some money to consult on a few cases and eventually Jaskier just became a staple of the precinct.)

Their first meeting is...... well it's something. Jaskier deduces immediately that "the only way we'd get alone is if the stick up your ass is of a more erotic persuasion" and then proceeds to accidentally fall in love the first time he watches Geralt be competent at his job (aka pointing out "this couldn't have been suicide [insert obscure medical reason]" *queue Jaskier's heart eyes*)

Eskel thinks it would be hilarious to watch them work together again so he tells Vesemir who agrees and they stick them both on a case that ends up getting out of hand

like it starts off as a joke--this family lost their dog--and then it ends up being something entirely batshit--a missing kid, crazy science experiments, transferring of human consciousness, an oliver twist esque orphanage, etc--

So they start off beyond pissed that they have to work together (because bro Jaskier has 3 braincells and they all only activate at the word "crime" he cannot hide the fact that he's terribly, terribly in love. Meanwhile Geralt is just annoyed because he's a grump) but then slowly start easing into trust

Like, Geralt somehow can follow Jaskier’s thought process flawlessly??

ex--

*dog missing ends up leading to the reveal that there's a child missing that wasn't reported for homophobic reasons, which leads to the discovery of a bunch more missing but unreported kids* Jaskier: "We should look through school janitors/ teachers" (because they would be around kids enough to know which ones could go missing without people noticing but also aren't as memorable as teachers) Geralt: "too long of a list" Jaskier: "well how do you suggest narrowing it down then?" Geralt:  "Transfers and proximity." (because the kidnapper would have gotten smarter and realized they should move schools every once in a while but also they'd want to move somewhere close to an orphanage so those kids were going to the school) Jaskier: "Geralt your a genius" Geralt: *grumpy* "This is still a crackpot theory" Jaskier: *smug* "Buuuut you're huuumoring meeee :D"

anyways, this is new for Jaskier, who hasn't had someone that's able to just, follow along with his usual line of thinking without stopping to explain every juncture in his thought process, but Geralt just somehow gets it. Meanwhile Geralt is begrudgingly having a lot of fun, and Jaskier is just too endearing to not adore and so in the end when Geralt's apartment is destroyed by the villain Jaskier offers to let Geralt stay with him for a while and Geralt's just like "I mean.... why not...?"

Queue crime solving :DDDD

idk how much ppl know about Sherlock but--The Countess de Stael could be Irene, Yennefer can be Mary, Vesemir is basically Lestrade, Moriarty will probably end up being Stregobor? But I also kind of adore the idea of it being Yennefer??? Like, make her not totally evil but just Jaskier’s complete opposite who uses her wits for crime and dramatics rather than solving crimes

(Also there could be the drama of Geralt dating Yennefer............. *cough* *cough* XD)

Dunno if I’ll write an actual fic about this but I lowkey want to..... we shall seeee

<3333