#I just think he deserves to pet some sheep and have a nice time ok? ;w;

[fantasmagoriam]

Suggested by @ythealleycat!

I think Estinien deserves some sheep time too :3

[nblesbianbenhanscom]

Stan is completely numb as he lays in the middle of an unfamiliar bed and stares up at the ceiling. He's having a shittastic time. It's the first Derry anniversary and he's just feeling hella raw. The Losers had all come together because they knew they were gonna need each other but no one had been prepared for Stan.

Stan hadn’t really wanted to go, but he went anyway because he loved his friends and Mike made him but he's just So Fucking Tired. Once they get to the hotel, Stan just crawls into bed and doesn't get up for nearly four days.

He lets Richie and Bill lay in bed with him, but he doesn't talk.

Bev is the only one who can get him to eat.

He lets Ben hold him while Eddie reads to them. Eddie's voice is just so calming and Ben is just so comfortable, Stan can't help but fall into actual sleep. (Most of the rest of the time he dozes but never actually makes it to sleep.)

And just when the Losers are convinced there is No Way Stan is getting up, Mike comes in with a perfect, tiny brown and yellow duckling he purchased at a farm store. He sets it on the floor and lets it run around cheeping. It gets into all sorts of stuff, and Stan just watches it from the edge of the bed.

When the duckling gets tired, it curls up on a bookshelf and Stan just lays there watching it. He glances at Mike and they share soft smiles.

"Where did you get him?" Stan asks quietly.

"The store."

"For keeps?”

“For keeps. He can be yours if you want.”

“How are we going to be able to tell him apart from the others?” They had a small plot of land up in Washington with various different animals, namely ducks, cats, dogs, and some sheep.

Mike gets up and picks up the duckling who cheeps in protest but comes easily. Stan shifts to make room for Mike who sits on the bed. He holds the duck so Stan can see it’s back where the pattern makes a heart on it’s side.

Stan gasps softly. He reaches out to gently touch it.

“He’s so perfect,” Stan murmurs as he strokes the duckling.

“Just like you,” Mike whispers.

Stan’s fingers freeze and looks up at Mike with an incredulous look on his face. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious.”

Sighing, Stan rolls his eyes and starts to roll away, but Mike stops him.

“Baby,” Mike murmurs. “I know shit is hard right now, but you are so wonderful.”

“Yeah. Real wonderful. Haven’t been able to get out of bed in four days.” He sighs as he looks back at the duck. “I ruined our vacation.”

“Stan. You didn’t ruin anything. The whole point of the trip was to spend time together, and we spent time together. It’s ok, love.”

Sighing, Stan rolls on to his back and scoops the little duckling up and puts it on his stomach.

“I don’t deserve you,” Stan says softly.

Mike cups his face and kisses his forehead. “Yes you do.”

Sighing tiredly, Stan just sighs and leans his cheek into Mike’s hand. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Stanny.” He kisses Stan’s forehead again.

Stan doesn’t know what to say, what to think. Mike loves him so much, and Stan doesn’t think he really deserves it. Not really. Not the way that Mike loves him.

But he tries to push those thoughts aside as he pets the duckling and looks up at one of his most favorite people.

“I’m hungry,” Stan says after a minute.

“Yeah? Something sound good?”

Stan shrugs. “Pancakes?”

“Yeah? We can get you some pancakes.” Mike squirms to get his phone, and Stan puts his hand on Mike’s arm.

“We can go out. Just. Gotta shower.”

“Are you sure?” Mike asks. “Cause we can just get some take out or something.”

“No, I need to get out of this hotel room.” He picks up the duckling. “Think we can sneak this little guy into Denny’s?”

Mike laughs gently. “I got him a little warming brooder for him and a couple of his siblings.”

“Siblings?” Stan asks.

Mike laughs. “The others are playing with them. You didn’t think I was just gonna buy one, did you?”

Stan laughs a little. “I didn’t think you were going to buy any ducks on our vacation.” He sits up and kisses Mike. “Here. Take the lil’ guy and I’ll go take a shower.”

“Ok, babes.” Mike kisses his lips. “I’ll go tell the others. You take as much time as you need. We’ll be here.”

Stan nods and gets up. He’s a little stiff from not moving for four days, but he just groans a little as he stumbles to the bathroom. He takes a nice long shower, reveling in the water.

When he gets out, he gets dressed slowly and walks back out to the front room where the others have wandered in from their adjacent suites. They all cheer and Richie comes and gives him a big hug.

“Come on. Let’s go get you some pancakes,” Richie says as he takes Stan’s hand. Stan smiles at him gently.

“Yeah, ok,” Stan murmurs. He looks at the little crate with the ducklings and their heating plate. They are all settling down, clearly tired from playing.

The Losers go to Denny’s and enjoy a quiet meal. Stan can’t help but feel a little guilty. He could have been doing this every day for the last four days. Logically he knows it’s not something he did, that it’s the Trauma, the PTSD, the brain goblins, but still. He hates his brain.

There’s still a few more days, he tells himself. Plenty of time to enjoy with his friends.

He knows it will be ok, that they’ll be ok, because they are ok. He sits there and looks at his friends. He watches as Eddie lectures Richie about restaurant etiquette and why it’s rude to blow straw wrappers even as Richie throws little balls of torn up napkin at Eddie. He watches Mike and Bev talk about baby animals, and Mike shows her all the different ones they have on the farm. He watches as Bill and Ben talk about architecture. Bill’s working on a new book with a big house and he wants to make sure it’s consistent. 

He looks at his friends and knows that no matter what, they’ll be here for him no matter what the brain goblins tell him or make him do. Sighing, he rests his head on Mike’s shoulder and Mike squeezes his hand.

He just sits there and watches his favorite people talk and eat and bicker, and his heart feels a little fuller than it had that morning.

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Finding light in an unexpected place- Shallura Week Day 5

I couldn’t think of an idea for yesterday’s prompt which is why this one is a big longer. When I saw the prompt, I thought of a scene from a telenovela called Rebelde. It used to be on Netflix, not anymore. One of the main girls, Lupita, was really in love with her boyfriend and they wanted to get married, but at the start of s2, he left to go to Isral and his mom, who doesn’t like Lupita, would stop any letters from going though between them, which in thinking he doesn’t love her anymore, Lupita moves on to a guy named Santos. When I think of Lupita and her first boyfriend, I realise he was kinda sufficating her and not letting her grow. Santos never hurt Lupita except for like one time he lied when he got aressted (not his fault) and I realised that Santos was actually the person who helped Lupita to be the best version of herself. So this was pulled from one of my fav scenes between them, when Lupita cuts Santos’ hair. A warning as there is mention of a principal being a preying on teenage girls, but he’s only mentioned for 3 or 4 lines. Hopefully that doesn’t take away from it, please enjoy. And yes, Noctis from FFXV is a student there. @shalluraweek Light/Dark

Allura couldn’t sleep. The light from Noctis’ lamp wasn’t the problem. She was used to the lamp being on, it was what happened earlier. She’d been trying to move on from Lotor, the guy she almost married, the same guy who hadn’t written to her, called her, texted her at all since he went to England for a semester long internship. She knew her uncle was happy to never see Lotor again – he never liked him or how he seemed to take forever to stand up to his mother – but still. Lotor was the first guy she ever liked and while she had her problems and ups and downs, she was so sure he was the guy she’d spend her life with. Most people didn’t find their person when they were in their sophomore but she was so sure she did. Now, she wasn’t sure. With no contact from Lotor and Lotor’s own mother came to tell her that Lotor’s ex-girlfriend was at the same internship and she was so sure they were together. she knew Lotor’s mom didn’t like her, but she didn’t need to hear the utter glee from her. Lotor didn’t love her anymore.

So, she tried to move on. One of the new student’s in their class was Ryan Kinkade. He was an excellent marksman, one who would surely bring their school fame in archery competitions since Lance had stopped doing them since the start of their sophomore and a lot of people took notice of him. She had stopped him from punching another new student’s lights out when he had made a mockery of Hunk and they got to talking, growing closer. He helped her gain a closer relationship with her half-sister Luka. When Luka mentioned she had a crush on someone, she would have never guessed it would be Ryan. Not until they decided to introduce their guys to each other, Ryan was the only one to meet them in the school’s formal area and Luka planted one on him, so hard they both went tumbling to the floor. She didn’t stick around after that.

It was starting to feel like she would have no luck with moving on and find love and that was the only thing she wanted. Lotor didn’t deserve her tears and hurt if he was forgetting her without even telling her goodbye. Not to mention how she was going to deal with Luka. The girl hated her already, seeing how their dad and her mom seemed to love Allura. Just this small thing was making them close and she was afraid that if Ryan told Luka the truth, they’d be right back where they started, or worse.

She got up, being as quite as possible so she didn’t wake Pidge or Noctis up and left the room. She hoped their hated prefect and lapdog to their principal wasn’t around to catch her up past curfew. She left the dorm area and went to the school area, hoping to maybe do some thinking in the statue that sat in the hallway that students would always sit on. Unfortunately, the area was occupied by Keith and Lance. Lance had been one of her first friends when she came to Garrison Elite and she was able to see the person who hid beneath his popular façade but sometimes she was jealous of him. He and Keith did not get along when they first met and now, they were the strongest couple in their whole class. She just wanted to feel that way with someone. She continued walking, eventually reaching one of the areas that students could meet their parents or people who were only here for a quick meeting before dropping on the couch, her mind still going over everything in her head. She felt completely lost on what to do and honestly, it was all Lotor’s fault. She was willing to wait for him, he only took 2 weeks to get back together with his ex and she didn’t ask for the extra stress of him while trying to make a relationship with her sister. Why was it nothing ever seemed to just be simple for her?

In a fit of anger, she picked up a magazine and threw it. One became another, and then some of the thinner coffee table books and before she knew it most of the stuff on the table in front of her had been thrown either on the floor or across the room. It was kinda nice to let her anger go and not have people judge, teacher’s pet goodie two shoes Allura Altea.

“OW!”

If of course one of the objects didn’t just land on someone. The room was empty so she peeked over the back of the couch that was against the wall. Looking a bit annoyed as his headphones were pushed off was their class’s newest black sheep, Takashi Shirogane.

“I’m so sorry.” She squeaked. Normally, even if a person looked mean, she wouldn’t go fear first. It usually paid off and she gained a new friend who’d be willing to pound a few heads in if she asked, but the last time she talked to him, he snapped at her. To be fair, she understood why.

People called him the freakish ghost. He was quiet, sullen – honestly, he gave Keith a run for his money – and looked out of place with his long hair. Their principal had gotten fired for a period of time and when he wasn’t there, the new principal, Principal Sendak, was a total nightmare. In front of the whole class, to teach them about respect, he cut Takashi’s hair off, leaving the uneven mess that sat on his head. He took off the moment they were done and Allura followed, trying to see if he was ok. She offered to fix his hair but he snapped at her, telling her to leave him alone. It had been weird how after he seemed to follow Sendak around with a camera, saying he was doing a documentary and was then shaking the head of the school board’s hand when Sendak had been removed for reasons unknown. Pidge was sure he had something to do with it, but he wouldn’t admit it.  

“It’s fine. My fault for hiding behind a couch to listen to music.” He got up and climbed up onto the couch, Allura bounding herself back onto the couch she was on before. “It’s Allura right? What are you doing up so late? Part of the club of sleepwalkers?”

“Sleepwalkers? This school has so many stairs, seems like a hazard.”

“True, it’s just weird to see someone up at this hour. I’m always up this late listening to music and lurking around like a ghost.”

“No. I just couldn’t sleep but I’ll go. Sorry again.” She got up to go when he called out to her.

“Hey, no wait. Sit, I wanted to talk to you.” He asked as he moved to the couch she’d been on before and patting the seat next to him. After hesitating a little, she took a seat. “I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? What for?”

He pulled on a strand of his hair. “This? After Sendak cut it, you offered to fix it for me and I snapped at you. You were being nice checking on me and I shouldn’t have been so rude.”

Allura gave him a small smile. He was much different than the dark shadow who seemed to lurk in the back of their classroom. “it’s ok. You were mad and you had every right to be. Look, whenever you want me to, I can fix your hair. I’m really good at it. I do Noctis’ hair for him when it gets too long and we have to keep telling him off for his hair clogging the shower.”

He looked confused, which she got. “Isn’t Noctis a guy? Why is he taking showers in your room?”

“He is a guy, in every sense except his birth certificate.”

“He’s trans, but he still rooms with girls?”

“It’s usually not allowed yes, but there weren’t any students who needed special rooming the year he came in and, in this year, either. He had to sign a bunch of forms and get our families permission but my uncle and Pidge’s mom said he could room with us. Besides, Noctis is into guys, cringes at the idea of seeing either of us naked and any guy stupid enough to make a remark about being able to have sex with us whenever he wanted is on the receiving end of his fists. His sponsor felt better that he rooms with people who wouldn’t try to take advantage of him and we’ve proved ourselves so.” Allura shrugged, “that’s that I guess.”

“Huh. Must know way too much about girls then.”

“Yes, but he does know what to get us if we’re feeling crampy. Anyway, his bedhead style is thanks to me so if you like how his looks, come find me.”

“How about now?”

“Now? It’s like, late.”

Takashi gave his own shrug. “Well I can’t sleep and I’d actually like to fix this soon. If you can. Which of course you can’t since we don’t have a kit.”

“Oh no, don’t worry. My uncle keeps his in his office in the kitchen. Don’t worry, he keeps the kitchen and office clean. I’ll go get it, but you have to do something for me. You need to tell me why you were shaking the hand of the head of the school’s board, and no evading the question.”

“Ok. How about I give you a head start? Remember how your friend tried to point out to Sendak that he could do anything to me without my parent’s permission, which he said he had? He lied, the only calls from the school my parents got where to let them know the principal had been removed and a new one came in and that new principal was fired and the other reinstated.”

“What?” Allura didn’t divulged in gossip much but she had to know the full story for this, but Takashi just shooed her.

“Go on. You’ll get the full story when you get back.”

She let out a huff. For Mr. Doom and Gloom, he was having a lot of fun with this.

                                          ______________________

“He what!?”

Allura understood why people could gossip with their hairdressers. As she started to give Takashi an undercut and shorten the side on top, he gave her the whole story as to why he been doing a documentary of Sendak. It was a revenge plot and it all stemmed from finding out that their darling new and improved Principal had a thing for younger girls. There were pictures of students who’d been using the pool or them in the gym uniforms, even pictures of girls as they went up the stairs. They had the perverts in their classes, who usually learnt with a harsh slap to the face but never did they have a teacher or adult figure who’d do that to them. Takashi was able to get footage of Sendak spying on girls, even trying to force himself on one. He showed it to the school’s Board of Directors under the guise of showing the good Sendak had been doing for the school since he started. Sendak was removed and their old principal was reinstated, because they knew with a daughter in the school, he’d never harm any of the students.

“That’s why I was shaking his hand. He was thanking me for exposing him. He felt bad he just accepted the first good guy with a nice resume.”

“Oh my god, what a creep! I can’t believe we would have had him for ages.” Allura unclipped the white fringe she’d been able to save and took her sheering scissors and started to trim lightly. “I guess we should be thanking you. Is it also true you helped Pidge find out about her lying boyfriend?”

“It’s one thing to want to still date a girl, it’s another to use a fake illness to do it. My twin brother has an invisible illness and seeing how I couldn’t go and punch the guy for lying, I thought I might as well show him as the really sick guy as he was.”

“I was tempted to go take a stab at him myself. My youngest sister, Fara, she has down syndrome. She doesn’t let it stop her, she’s amazing and bright, but people like my mom only see a helpless person who needs constant coddling and anyone who offers to help is looking down on her.” Allura thought about how she was going to leave school with Lotor before he’d been accepted into the internship. She came to Garrison Elite so she’d have the best chance at becoming a doctor. She almost gave that up for a guy who didn’t seem worth it anymore. “I almost forgot why I was here in the first place. I want to be a doctor so I can help people like my sister, so they don’t have to feel like they’re not normal. And I almost gave it up for a guy.”

“Did he suffocate your light?”

“My light? No, Lotor was…” Lotor had been dating someone when he became interested in Allura and wouldn’t break up with his ex because he’d been scared of his parent’s reaction. When he and Allura broke up, he’d throw such a fit if she was ever around another guy who was interested in her. He wanted her to become a house wife and only dropped the idea when Professor Thace had been the one to point out how miserable she was. “Maybe he was suffocating my light.”

“Guess I should be glad he didn’t. we need more people with your kind of light. Makes the darkness look not so scary.”

They shared a smile before Allura fluffed his fringe out, dusting away any stray bits of hair and handed him a mirror.

“Wow. Allura, this is amazing.” Takashi complimented as he ran his hands over his shorter hair and the prickly feeling of his new undercut. “You are good.”

“I am the person people go to to fix their hair. I’m glad you like it. I’ve had time to think about how to fix it since it happened. I would have left it a bit long but Sendak really hacked at it, so I’m glad you like it.”

“You are truly something Allura. I can clean up the hair if you want to go put the kit away. I won’t be sleeping for a while, I know that.”

“Are you sure?” Takashi nodded, already using the towel to scoop up any hair. “Thanks Takashi.”

“Shiro, call me Shiro. My parents are the only ones to call me by my first name.”

“Shiro then. Thanks for telling me what happened and listening. Can I do that in public now or are you going to ignore me?”

Shiro let out a laugh, “Don’t worry. I won’t be throwing this little light out of my life anytime soon.”

Allura felt his face go hot but she was happy. It felt like for the first time in a while, that things were looking better, like as Shiro said, her light wasn’t suffocated anymore.

[tumblunni]

hey uhhh YKNO WHATS GOOD brainstorming potential headcanons for a character you know NOTHING ABOUT

i guess its less headcanons and more like.. wishes? hopes? what i think would be cool to do with this dude and like ALL I KNOW is that he is a cool dude and apparantly he doesnt have a backstory or sympatheticness SO consider what if he did and maybe thatd be cooler. like dude he owns THE SINGLE BEST BOSS BATTLE THEME IN ALL VIDEOGAMES EVER and that is ALL I KNOW ABOUT HIM and i just want him to deserve it, yo. also if he turned good i could be his friend and some of the badassness would rub off on me

ANYWAY

COOL SQUID PRESIDENT

i would vote for this man as squesident

seriously the design is SO GOOD!!! how did they manage to get such a cool colourscheme out of his entire Thing being that he has no colours?? like damn i like white being used as an evil colour for once, thanks. it symbolizing emptyness and emotionlessness is like BIG YES and i really hope thats what they were going for cos apparantly the wiki says that all the yokai who join his “we should never be friends with humans” gang turn colourless to match? but like the dude himself is less plain white and more very light shades of blue, grey and gold. MAYBE REFLECTS THAT HE IS A MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE WHO MAYBE DOESNT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOKAI AND JUST WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD PERHAPS dammit why does everything about him scream “great 100% evil guy who is very scary” when man I WANT TO LIKE HIM, DAMMIT!!

ALSO SERIOUSLY the visual effect of the wild spirally red yellow eyes against an otherwise “peaceful” colour whose entire point as an evil is “peaceful” taken to a bad extreme. it REALLY immediately sells that “tries to pretend to be calm, collected and fancy but is actually an angry mofo at heart” vibe i got from his theme song??? I REALLY HOPE THATS ACTUALLY HOW THIS COOL BOSS BATTLE GOES DOWN cos man the best villains are smug asshles who Always Win and then when you FINALLY win you get that much of a better ending!!! but AGH another part of me is like “i hope im wrong because he looks like a Cool Dad and i want him to be good”. Maybe his true design concept was to betray me personality with using all his cool dad power for evil...?

ALSO im not gonna spoil you guys on it cos it is JUST AS AMAZING AS HIS SONG but i was toooootally right that he has some sort of super intimidating second form and its got THE COOLEST DESIGN EVER HOLY SHIT! and also apprantly there’s a recoloured bonus boss called Minister Squisker who’s like a colour swap in a really creative way?? it swaps him being all “blank” themed with scary bright eyes and instead his entire body is a wild ye olde mythological illustration style paint job in every colour ever. okay COOL HEADCANON NUMBER ONE thats actually the regular colour of the species and mckraken is the white sheep of the family lol

also UHHH i dunno it seems kinda weird to me that theyd have this dude running a goddamn political party about humans being bad yet he doesnt seem to have any motivation whatsoever for it? unless it really is just supposed to be ‘he only pretends he wants to protect yokai from humans so he can manipulate and rule the yokai’. but like HYPOTHETICALLY in some universe where he actually lives up to his Grumpy Dad Who Has A Hidden Soft Spot potential, maybe he has an understandable backstory that raises legitimate concerns about how humans are destroying the natural and mythological and forgetting their roots, or other reasonable reasons why yokai could think humans are dangerous and all. i mean we ARE dangerous, we’re just a wide group of people that contain evil bastards and also good people, yknow. And thatd resonate well as a plot probably, cos well the whole point of the series is “in real life ur scared of yokai but theyre actually all goofy pranksters who will be your best friend forever”. Both sides being afraid of each other could lead to some good plotness! and it could be really effective and sad if after hours of joyous childhood wonder the protagonist bumps into the first yokai they couldnt befriend. the first one thats scared of them. the first member of this weird colourless political party who accuses them of committing crimes against yokaikind, of obviously only enslaving these yokai friends cos you have an ulterior motive, just like all humans! it could be effective if its something that shakes up the whole way you saw the world and establishes that hey its not all fun and happiness, and there’s some people you are powerless to convince. maybe even some people you are powerless to save...?

ANYWAY possible idea for ‘what if the dude originally had a sympathetic motive but it got twisted over time and now he’s just a fuck BUT maybe he could still be redeeminated someday ok thanks” What if he’s the spirit of.. like.. ocean pollution? Like there’s some yokai who are ghosts of a mortal person but theres some that are just nature spirits or personifications of concepts. What if he’s the personification of the dying screams of all the wildlife killed in a particular tragic oil spill? hence squid = thematic, and blank white colourscheme = even more thematic reflecting the stain the oil would leave on a pristine ocean and also the blank emotionlessness he was left as after witnessing that tragedy. Cos like his entire Purpose would have been born out of avenging anger but i mean he was just a kid, the only one left alive on a ruined beach and seeing just how powerful humans were and how pointless it would be to try and fight them with his weak power. like he was born to avenge all these souls and he just keeps failing!! his entire reason to live and he’s just too small!! so he ends up becoming bitter and cynical and learning how to use his silver tongue to manipulate others into becoming his weapons, and he vows that someday he’s gonna come back when he has the power he needs to complete his mission. and he’s just forever had this anger seething inside that he’s been unable to get any catharsis from, so when his cold and collected persona cracks he’s really damn scary with all these years of a man who’s grown old fearing he’ll never be able to avenge his ocean friends and just AAAAAA! itd be really good cos itd be a way he could still be intimidating and high stakes as a boss fight but also sympathetic!! also it could make sense why he’d only be redeemable after defeating him? like this entire time he’s been hidden behind a million layers of politics and minions and stuff and its very easy for him to not see the reality of the fact that he’s terrorizing human children just like how humans scarred him as a child. so like his whole big second form transformation super anger mode time would be sort of a last ditch attempt to deny what he already knows, the doubts that have been eating away at his soul now he’s getting close to the end of his life goal. but also like.. he doesnt even know who he IS, under the lies! its been his entire purpose for existing. like he probably uhh.. didnt have much plans after his victory. he probably wouldnt have much will to live left. so yeah you basically beat up this guy’s emotional walls and make him face the face of the people he’s been hurting, when he’s been trying to avoid it for so long. and he gets to see how much all the other yokai genuinely trust you and how much youre personally sacrificing to protect them so maybe you really arent just lying about being a good person...

oh also i was thinking about the inherant hypocrisy present in the fact that this guy is a big spoopy REALLY WELL DESIGNED squid monster that spends all his time in a depowered humansona instead, despite his whole Thing being hating humans. and, yknow, ‘i’ll solve this using a carbon copy of human politics instead of any more traditionally magical way of fighting the humans’. Yeah. So THEORY of SADNESS maybe he like never actually met any other yokai for a long time? I dont think it really makes sense that he’d be hypocritical because he secretly likes humans or something, that wouldnt jive with this backstory idea. So im thinking another explanation could be that he genunely doesnt know much about yokai culture? Like cos of his backstory he just poofed into existance on this destroyed beach in the human world and spent the first few centuries of his life completely alone except for the terrifying monsters that haunted every second of his life, and the knowledge that it was his purpose to defeat them but he didnt know how. And he was a nature spirit of the sea but his sea was empty of everything except death, so he couldnt even hug a cute fish sidekick or something- OH GOD WHAT IF HE DID HAVE A CUTE FISH SIDEKICK AND IT DIED COS OF HUMANS!!! very tiny sad squid monster child holding a dead pet, oh god why did my heart did this to meeee!! so yeah he didnt even know he was a yokai or wtf yokai are, he didnt know anywhere outside the tiny rock pool he would hide in on this barren beach. And then someday he gets found by an older yokai and adopted and like he feels like he owes them so much cos they gave him a reason to live, and a connection to the nature that he was supposed to protect, and.. well.. any companionship at all ever. So thats how his directionless “humans are bad” turned into “yokai are good and i need to protect them from humans like i failed to protect the beach” which turned into “i need to get more power to do this” which turned into manipulating other yokai and seeing them as nothing more than tools to take down the humans, his revenge consuming him until he barely remembered the reasons he originally wanted to do it...

and blablabla thats where we bring in the recolour bonus boss also, and say thats the nice grandpa figure who adopted him when he was all lost and trapped in the human world. and cos he was sorta adopted into nobility thats why he’s so over the top with his pompousness, its like a hint of IM LOVV MY GRANDEPA shining through his grumpface. ALSO maybe a sad situation where the gramps saw his kid growing up into this scary extremist and he tried to reason with him that humans dont need to be destroyed and that led to them fighting and him getting sealed off in recolour bonus boss land. and mckraken sees it as the biggest betrayal of his life and it totally threw him off the slippery slope to feel like the one man he trusted the most was a traitor to yokai all along. but even at his most evil he couldnt bear to actually kill his beloved gramps so he just imprisoned him and tries to stop thinking about it but like THE CONSTANT SPECTRE OF THE GUILT HANGS OVER YOUR HEAD THAT YOU DID YOU GRAMPS WRONGGGG So yehmaybe protag could find the gramps guy and hear about the sad backstory via him and then defeat mckraken and make him realise he was wrong and he apologises to his gramps and atones and all the humans and yokai are friends again and BUNNI CRIES FOREVER the end

cos seriously man this guy’s design is too good to be wasted on a hateable!! srsly he’s like that archetypical goofy big beard chubby pirate dude BUT INTIMIDATING AND BADASS AND COOL FASHION AND DAVY JONES SQUID BEARD SQUEARD I LOVE HIM he is too round to be 100% evil

*slams fists on the table* IF YOU DONT LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS I AM GONNA CRY

aaa i need to stop just sitting here theorizing about this game and actually friggin play it lolllll

[seniorbrief]

18 Funny Christmas Jokes for the Merriest Holiday

Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest

The holiday season officially starts on the last Friday of November, when the first shopper is trampled at Walmart. But the holidays really begin on December 26, the day after last year’s Christmas, when your child formulated a gift demands wish list in preparation for the next haul.

For example, one seven-year-old girl wrote this list, to which her dad added his thoughts.

• “Black, light blue, green, purple, and pink North Faces.” Five North Face jackets at 100 bucks each? Dream smaller. That is apparel meant for serious outdoorsmen who dangle from belayed ropes on the south face of K2. The outdoorsiest we get is when we roll down the window at the Wendy’s drive-through.

• “A new radio.” Done. I’ll throw in my old Betamax collection as a stocking stuffer.

• “$1,000.” You want cash? Clear the spiders out of the attic. I’ll give you three bucks for it.

• “A light-up Razor scooter that is the color blue.” “Dad, for Christmas, can I get hit by a car?”

• “A new canape that glows up.” So, like, a glowing miniature crab cake with a toothpick in it? I could maybe do that.

• “A pet puppy border collie with a peace sign coller and a leash.” Do you see any borders in this house that need patrolling, apart from the bathroom door when Daddy is having his alone time? No.

• “A black rist bange.” I don’t know what this is, but done. —Drew Magary, from deadspin.com

Of course, gift giving may not be everyone’s strong suit.

One year, my father gave Mom a DVD. In and of itself it wasn’t a bad gift, except a) it was a rental, and b) we didn’t own a DVD player. —Amy Marshall Hodges, Canton, Michigan

Santa’s a pro, which is why kids bypass parents and appeal to him:

• “Dear Santa, Please text my dad. He has my whole list.”

• “Dear Santa, Sorry for what I did in the past, and thank you for the Christmas letter—I love it. But what I want for Christmas is $53 billion dollars.”

• “Dear Santa, How are you? I’m good. Here is what I want for Christmas: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0032HF60M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1410271945&sr=8-1” —Sources: wgna.com and someecards.com

Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest

What happens when kids’ letters arrive at the North Pole? Does Kringle and Co. sell the data to online marketers? We read the fine print on Santa’s website:

• Santa’s Privacy Policy: At Santa’s Workshop, your privacy is important to us. What follows is an explanation of how we collect and safeguard your personal information.

• Why Do We Need This Information? Santa Claus requires your information in order to compile his annual list of who is Naughty and who is Nice and to ensure accuracy when he checks it twice.

• What Information Do We Collect? We obtain information from the unsolicited letters sent to Santa by children all over the world listing specific items they would like to receive for Christmas. Often these letters convey additional information, such as which of their siblings are doodyheads. The letters also provide another important piece of information—fingerprints. We run these through databases maintained by the FBI, CIA, NSA, Interpol, MI6, and the Mossad. If we find a match, it goes straight on the Naughty List.

• What Do We Do with the Information We Collect? Sharing is one of the joys of Christmas. For this reason, we share your personal information with unaffiliated third parties: the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Hanukkah Harry. —Laurence Hughes, from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

The gift list is done, and there’s a nip in the air—time to get your gaudy on!

My daughter and I took the long route through the neighborhood to admire the Christmas decorations. One yard contained a trove of lights, ornaments, elves, carolers, trimmings … in short, it was a mess. My daughter summed it up perfectly when she announced, “It looks like Christmas threw up.” —Cecille Hansen, Seattle, Washington

Do you hear what I hear? That’s right; music is filling the air! Have you downloaded the latest holiday album? It had them boogying in the streets of Bethlehem centuries ago!

The Little Drummer Boy’s Greatest Hits: Includes the songs “Pum Pum Pum Pum,” “Rum Pum Pum,” “Ba Rum Pum Pum,” “Rum Pum Pum Ba Rum Pum Pum,” and special bonus track “Pum Pum Pum, Ba Rum Pum Pum.” —Source: someecards.com

Hope you like schmaltzy, sentimental holiday movies because that’s what will be playing on cable 24/7 for the entire month. In case you’ve forgotten these films you’ve seen only 47 times, some brief reviews:

• How the Grinch Stole Christmas: “Crimes against Who-manity”

• A Christmas Carol: “Bob, Marley”

• Elf: “A Christmas Ferrell” —Source: fwfr.com

Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest

Next, the tree. Note: The real trick isn’t picking the right pine. It’s getting it inside your home. But with our 15-point plan, you’ll be trimming in no time.

1) Cut the cords that bind the tree to the roof of your car. Allow them to snap back and strike you in the eye.

2) Curse.

3) Slowly pull the tree toward you.

4) Wobble under its weight for a few seconds, then fall down.

5) Curse.

6) Stand up and notice the fresh scratches in the roof of your car.

7) Curse.

8) Drag the tree to your front door. Spend 15 minutes figuring out how to open the door while simultaneously getting the tree through it.

9) Drag the tree away from the door so that you can enter with the tree facing in the right direction.

10) Once inside, fill the tree stand with water.

11) Knock all the water out of the tree stand because you forgot to wait to fill the tree stand until after putting the tree in it.

12) Curse.

13) Your tree should now be in the stand. Notice the fallen needles that have reduced your tree to half the size it was when you bought it.

14) Down seven cups of eggnog to settle your nerves.

15) Slur your curses.

You’re not home free yet. Much more can go wrong!

Securing Christmas lights to the tree can be a production. One year, when we finally stood back and flicked on the light switch, I noticed that a branch obscured our prized angel ornament. I grabbed the pruning shears, mounted a stool, and snipped once, and the lights went out. My husband quietly said, “You don’t have your glasses on, do you?”—Lynn Kitchen, Parksville, British Columbia

Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest

Your Christmas tree has practically become a member of the family: The needy, spoiled, flamboyant side that knows when it’s time to go:

“All that time spent selecting and decorating, and a week after [Christmas], you see the tree by the side of the road, like a mob hit. A car slows down, a door opens, and a tree rolls out.” —Jerry Seinfeld

Let’s relax and read Christmas cards! Far more than just holiday greetings, they allow you to finally see what your accountant’s family looks like.

We once received a card with a photograph of a family in costumes and masks. No name, no text, no return address. We never did figure out who sent it.—Glynis Buschmann, Yuba City, California

Would you like to learn how to write a boastful, overly intimate holiday newsletter? Our indispensable how-to guide can help, illustrated with real quotes.

• Open strong with a passive-aggressive attack on a loved one: “[This year is] barreling to a close as Deborah spends yet another Saturday at the wine shop.”

• Brag about any new job developments—especially if you don’t deserve them: “I got promoted this year to VP … shows how little they really know about my past!!!”

• Be creative! Even good news can be delivered so the reader cringes: “[My wife has] felt almost every negative feeling you can have during a pregnancy—nausea, fatigue, rashes, arthritis, sciatic nerve pain, hip pains, and strong emotional conditions.”

• If you want to cement your status as least favorite distant cousins, just write the most dreaded words in the English language: “We thought it would be cool if we shared what’s going on as a PowerPoint presentation.” —Sources: gawker.com, worstchristmasletters.blogspot.com, Brandon Specktor

There are those who live by the credo that it is better to give than to receive. These people are, of course, fools. Still, without them, we wouldn’t get as many presents. An ad spotted in a newspaper:

“Congratulations George B. for pleasing 15 women for an entire day! We were all exhausted and very satisfied.”

The next day’s ad: “Our sincere apology to George B. Our intentions were to thank him for a generous holiday shopping trip, which he arranged. Any inappropriate innuendos were unintentional.” —Source: clamorly.com

Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest

Wait, we all know that presents are not what Christmas is all about. (Actually, they are. But for argument’s sake, let’s pretend they’re not.) Let us pause while these children remind us about the story of Christmas:

What animals were there when baby Jesus was born?

“There was a donkey, a sheep, and a cow there as well as Mary and Joseph. It sounds quite crowded.” Hannah, age seven

What gifts did the three wise men bring?

“They brought Jesus presents of gold, frankincense, smurr, and silver. But I think he would have preferred wrestling toys.” Jay, age five —From the Daily Mail

OK, enough pretending. Give us the presents already!

Scene: Christmas morning, and I’m opening my gifts.

Dad: “Open that one next, sweetie.”

(He points to a box, which I open. Inside is one of those obnoxious singing-and-dancing robot Christmas trees. I’m a bit shocked, as I had pointed out how much I hate these things when we went shopping the week before.)

Me: “Uh, weren’t you listening when I said I thought these were the most annoying things ever?”

Dad: “I know, I know. But … open that one next.” (This time he points to a long, heavy package. I open it up to reveal a sledgehammer.)

Me: “Is this for what I think it’s for?”

Dad: “And you thought I wasn’t paying attention!”

From notalwaysrelated.com

Even the family pet takes part.

My First Toy

My first toy

Has wood for me to claw

My first toy

Has string for me to bite

My first toy

Has a hole for me to hide in

My first toy

Is called, “Oh, dear God, no!

My guitar!”

My first toy

Is the best toy of them all.

—Francesco Marciulano, from the book I Knead My Mommy, And Other Poems by Kittens (Chronicle Books)

The gifts are opened, the eggnog consumed, and your kid has begun a demands wish list for next year. If you’re feeling woozy, it may be because you’ve contracted at least one of these seasonal maladies:

• Pay Saks Disease: A mania for buying gifts and abusing credit lines, followed by a compulsive urge to carry ten shopping bags at once.

• Seasonal Affection Disorder (SAD): An exaggerated emotional response (typically shrieking and air-kissing) triggered by seeing insignificant acquaintances at annual parties.

• Gift-aphasia: Loss of memory that causes the accidental recycling of gifts back to the same people who gave them to you last year.

—Bob Morris, from New York Observer

Original Source -> 18 Funny Christmas Jokes for the Merriest Holiday

source https://www.seniorbrief.com/18-funny-christmas-jokes-for-the-merriest-holiday/