#I just. I don't wanna go. But it was eight five stupid fucking dollars that couldve gone to something USEFUL like shoes that don't break

[aw-bean-s]

.

[artificialqueens]

I Don't Care About the Presents Underneath the Christmas Tree (Mom Sharon- Daughter Aquaria) - Sammy Indigo

A/N: And it’s Day 4! This is part of my Mom Sharon- Daughter Aquaria verse, set back when Aquaira was five years old. This is the first time I’ve published an interaction with Jinkx in this universe and I hope you enjoy it. xxx

It was three weeks until Christmas day and Sharon was two months late paying her phone bill.

“She’s beautiful.” Aquaria sighed, nose pressed against the glass front of the store. “Like an angel.”

“Don’t put your face on there, Aqua, it’s dirty.”

“But I wanna look at the doll, Mommy.”

Sharon squinted at the doll through the water marked glass. The blonde Barbie was central to the bright red and green display, her massive red ball gown taking up much of the window, despite the doll’s small size. 

Aquaria traced the outline of the dress with her fingers. “She’s the most beautifulist person I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“No.” Sharon frowned. “She’s an unrealistic standard of femininity that does nothing to empower young girls.” She tried to steer Aquaria away from the view, but the little girl resisted, pulling back to gawk at the holiday-themed doll. Sharon frowned at the large price tag shaped into what she supposed was meant to be an unthreatening Christmas tree shape. “Plus, girl thinks she’s worth a hundred dollars. Goddamn capitalist society.”

“I’d pay a million trillion dollars for her.” Aquaria said. “She’s worth that much, I think.”

“Yeah, well,” Sharon grabbed her hand and tugged her away down the street, “you’re five, so you don’t get an opinion on the capitalist economy.”

Aquaria looked up at her, little face barely visible beneath the woolly hat that kept slipping into her eyes. “I’m gonna ask Santa for her.”

Sharon’s heart sank. “Oh, yeah?” She said.

“Mmhmm.” Aquaria ran a little to keep up with Sharon’s quick pace. “You said I’ve been good, so he’ll bring her for me.”

“You sure you want a stupid, lame, boring old doll like that?” She weaved the two of them around the various groups of people taking up the sidewalk. “Seems a little mainstream.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Common.” Sharon said. “Like, everyone has one.”

Aquaria squeezed her hand. “That’s because everyone loves her.”

Christmas was three weeks away and Sharon was poor.

So far, the only thing Aquaria had asked for was a ‘sparkly dress’, and Sharon had managed to find some black and grey tulle in a back corner of Jinkx’s hallway closet, and had fashioned it into a tutu. She had been planning on gluing rhinestones onto it once she got her hands on some glue. 

When she was ten months old, for her first Christmas, Jinkx had made Aquaria a stocking from an old ugly Christmas sweater, and every year Sharon filled it with candy, and shit from the dollar store. Thus far in her short life, that had been enough for Aquaria. It was all Sharon had to offer.

“She’s all I’ve ever wanted ever.” Aquaria said wistfully. 

Sharon currently had three dollars sixty five cents in her bank account, two dollars thirty eight in her wallet, and somewhere around ninety dollars in a used coffee jar that she kept hidden in a shoebox under her bed, that she was slowly saving for Aquaria’s future. 

Andshe was a week late with rent.

Andshe hadn’t paid her phone bill.

Andshe owed Jinkx over six hundred dollars from six years of borrowing here and there from her friend just to get by.

She refused to acknowledge the thousands of dollars she owed in student loans, at least until she actually had a qualification in her hand to prove it was all worth it.

“A hundred dollars is a lot of money, kiddo.” Sharon said.

Aquaria smiled up at her. “Don’t worry. Santa can get it.”

“What if Santa is a little short on cash this year?”

The little girl frowned. “But the elves make the toys. Santa doesn’t need to pay.”

Sharon nodded. “Right. No middle man for Santa.”

“Don’t worry, Mommy.” Aquaria said with a smile, “I’ve been super good this year, you said I have, so Santa will get me my Barbie.”

…………….

It was two weeks until Christmas day and the rent had been paid.

Jinkx had done overtime at the job she hated, but had still had to sacrifice hours in order to help out Sharon with childcare. Sharon had taken four extra shifts waitressing straight after her night classes and had turned up the charm to painful levels of pleasantness to gain extra tips from willing customers. She had barely seen Aquaria, dropping her off at school, going to work, going to class, going back to work, and returning home in the early hours to Aquaria already asleep.

It was enough to scrape together rent money. Not enough for the late fees. Their landlord liked Jinkx better, so she took the money in person, toting along an enchanting Aquaria with hopes of the older woman taking pity and waiving their late fee. Kasha was a sucker for Aqua’s doe eyes, and Jinkx returned home happy, clutching a rental receipt, with a just as happy Aquaria, clutching a ten-cent sucker.

Sharon’s phone bill remained unpaid.

“I told Mrs Kasha about my Barbie that Santa’s bringing me.” Aquaria said, licking the purple lolly. “She says that Santa will bring me anything I want ‘cause I’m so damn cute.”

“Oh.” Sharon eyed Jinkx. “She said that did she?”

“Uh huh. And she gave me this lollipop.”

“How kind.”

Aquaria stood from her place at the table, sticking the sucker in one cheek, like a hamster, and wiping her hands on her tights. “Can I go colour in our room?”

“Sure.” Sharon said, and the little girl took off towards the room off the far side of the living room. “But stay off our bed!” Sharon called after her. “All my school work is on there. Don’t mess it up.”

“Okay.” She called back.

“And don’t draw anymore rainbows on my printouts. While I appreciated the artistry, my professor did not.” Sharon railed off as Aquaria kicked the bedroom door closed. As soon as the kid was out of sight, Sharon let her head fall to the table top, sighing dramatically. “I’m fucked.”

Jinkx flicked her ear. “No, we’re fucked.” She said as Sharon sat up. “This is a team effort.”

“Jinkxy I have nothing. Nothing.” 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. You have lots of things.” Jinkx said. “You have me, your best friend in the whole entire world.” She pinched her arm. “You have Aquaria, you have a roof over your head for another month.” She shrugged. “Plenty of people don’t even have that.”

“I guess.”

“Plus, in the grand scheme of things, this ‘being horrifically broke’ thing, will just be another chapter in your biography that will make you more relatable in the long run.”

Sharon gently kicked Jinkx in the shin under the table. “You’re stupid.” She smirked.

“But it made you smile.” She said. Jinkx took her hand. “Hey,” she dropped her voice, “six years ago, you were six months pregnant, lying on my futon in my studio apartment, trying to convince me you hadn’t just been rubbing coke on your gums-,”

“Don’t-,”

“Sharon,” Jinkx said firmly, “it happened, it was a bad time, but it happened.”

“I just, I just hate thinking about it.” Sharon said, casing her eyes down to the chipped black polish on her thumb. “I like to pretend it wasn’t real.”

“But it was. And it was awful. And I have a point.” She squeezed her hand. “Sharon, it will never be that bad again. I’ve seen you at your lowest, and thatwas it.” Jinkx grinned. “So fucking what if you can’t afford rent, or school, or-,”

“A fucking holiday Barbie?”

“Right!” Jinkx clapped. “Who cares? You’re good. You’re great!” She punched Sharon in the shoulder. “It’ll all be fine. We’ll be fine.”

“We will?”

“Oh, yeah. One day I’m going to open my store of curious curiosities, and one day you’ll live out your lesbian suburban fantasy.” She crumpled up the rental receipt. “Fuck all this shit, you’ll have a fucking mortgage!”

Sharon smirked. “I’ll even invite you to my house on Christmas and you can watch me and my sexy wife make out under the mistletoe.”

“While I get drunk on Goldschläger?”

“Sure.”

“And where is your daughter in all this?”

“Aquaria’s in our huge ass living room, in front of our huge ass fire place, playing with a fucking Holiday Barbie doll.” She groaned. “Kid has never shown interest in fucking Barbies her entire life. Why now?”

“She’s five. Five year olds love dolls.”

“I don’t want my kid playing with a symbol of misogyny.” Sharon said. “Plus her tits are fake.”

“The whole of her is fake, genius.” Jinkx laughed. “It’s a doll. And I don’t think Barbie is too bad. I mean, girl has had some pretty great jobs. Doctor, teacher, astronaut. That’s a role model.”

“No, it just shows she can’t hold down a career. She’s a flake. And a fraud.”

“Well,” Jinkx shrugged, “Aquaria likes her now, so you better get used to the blonde bitch.” 

The bedroom door opened and Aquaria skipped into the kitchen, placing a piece of paper down on the table. “I made my letter.” She said proudly. “Can you mail it to Santa? He needs to know A-snap what I want.”

“A-snap?” Jinkx asked, glancing to Sharon. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Yeah.” Aquaria said. “It means right now. My teacher always says ‘I need a drink a-snap with these kids!’ She’s always thirsty.”

“ASAP.” Sharon said, chuckling. “As soon as possible. And we might need to make sure your teacher is okay.”

Aquaria ignored her. “So can you mail it for me, Mommy?”

“Sure.”

Aquaria pulled her down by her neck to give her a kiss. “I’m gonna go draw you a picture to make you happy, Mama, ‘kay?” She kissed her, again. “I love you, Mommy. My whole heart loves you.” Aquaria let her go and ran back off to the bedroom. 

The door closed. Sharon turned to Jinkx. “You know, Jinkxy, prostitution really wasn’t that bad.”

“I know you’re joking but it still makes my skin crawl.”

“Five blow jobs on the south side of town and I could get her that damn doll.”

“You’d only charge twenty dollars for a blow job?”

“That was my rate.” Sharon shrugged.

Jinkx grimaced. “I guess that’s another thing to add to your biography.” She shook her head. “Glad that chapter’s over.”

“Same.” Sharon said. She propped her head up in her hand. “The crabs just aren’t worth it.”

Jinkx threw the rental receipt at her head.

……………………….

It was the Christmas Eve and Sharon was in Goodwill. 

She had eighteen dollars in tips from waitressing earlier in the day, and twelve minutes until the store closed.

Sharon’s phone bill remained unpaid.

The store was busy, which she hadn’t expected, and the sheer amount of people pushing past each other to get to the toys and children’s clothing selection, made Sharon feel better about herself. The holiday Barbie was a pipe dream, and Santa would not be leaving one under the tree for Aquaria. That was something Sharon just had to live with.

Sharon had a lot she just had to live with.

Goodwill had Barbie dolls. Most were naked, sealed in little clear plastic bags, with a price sticker stuck to the front. The clothes were in the same plastic bags, spread out over a shelf. 

Sharon picked one up. “God, fake or not,” she muttered, “you do have great tits, Barbara.”

There weren’t many dolls left, and the one Sharon had in her hand, had a pen mark down the leg. She put it back. Barbie dolls had never really spoken to Sharon on an emotional level. It sounded stupid, but it was a fact. As a child Sharon had been bought countless Barbies, Sindys, Jems, the cars, the horses, the dream house. Her mother had been relentless in attempting to pass on her love of the fashion dolls, but Sharon had just never felt for them. They were the girls she hated in school. They were the toys that reminded her she was supposed to look a certain way. Act a certain way.

Aquaria didn’t need that. At least, not yet. Not at five years old. Maybe when she was older and could spell ‘misogynistic gender stereotypes’.

Sharon eyed the parents rummaging through the piles of doll clothes on the shelf and thought again about her mother. She hadn’t spoken to her mother or father since before Aquaria was born, and they hadn’t replied to any of the letters Sharon had sent over the years, so she had just stopped trying. But she thought of them. She thought her mother would probably accuse her of being ‘too P.C.’ for not buying Aqua the doll. She moved around the corner to the other toys.

Eighteen dollars and five minutes.

The staff were kindly, but firmly, reminding the customers still in the store that they had five minutes before closing. Many pushed forward to the cash registers, a line forming, while Sharon picked through the shelves of cars and games and jigsaws and books. 

“It’s all just crap.” She said aloud.

A passing man with an armful of board games and a baby doll hanging from his fist by her hair, laughed. “Yeah,” he said, “but kids love crap.” He moved off to join the line at the registers.

Sharon turned back to the toys. 

Eighteen dollars and five minutes to give her child a Christmas that she wouldn’t feel the need to discuss in therapy as an adult. It was a lot of pressure. Therapy was expensive.

…………………

It was Christmas day.

Aquaria had woken up at five am. 

Sharon hadn’t been to bed.

Jinkx was getting ready for work.

Sharon still hadn’t paid her phone bill.

“Oh my gosh!” Aquaria squealed, bouncing into the living room. “Santa came!” She rushed over to the tiny fake tree they had propped up on the coffee table, and pointed at the small selection of gifts placed there.

Sharon’s stomach was tight.

“Well, you were a good girl.” Jinkx said, smiling, buttoning her uniform shirt. “He’s been watching.”

Aqua nodded, excitedly. She turned to Sharon, climbing up onto her lap where she sat on the couch. “Mommy, it’s Christmas!”

“I know. Merry Christmas, kiddo.” She hugged Aquaria, pulling her onto her chest and kissing her head. “Merry Christmas.”

For a moment, and perhaps due to her late bedtime and early awakening, Aquaria allowed Sharon to cuddle her quietly, wrapping an arm around her neck and putting her thumb in her mouth. Sharon closed her eyes. 

The moment was short-lived. Aquaria squirmed away, pulling her thumb away from her mouth. “Can I open them?”

Sharon glanced at the pathetic collection of presents on the coffee table. They hadn’t had any wrapping paper so she had used some of Jinkx’s miscellaneous fabric from the closet and tied it with odds of ribbon. It looked a mess. The candy she had bought from 7/11 on the way home from Goodwill wasn’t even wrapped, just stuffed into the stocking.

“Please, Mommy. Can I open them?”

Sharon smiled her best smile and nodded at Aqua, who immediately began emptying the stocking.

“Wow!” Aquaria exclaimed over the contents. “Look, Mommy! Chocolate!” She laughed, giddily. “And soda!”

Jinkx snorted a laugh somewhere behind Sharon. “Santa brought you a Fanta?”

“Yeah!” Aquaria said. “I love Fanta!”

“Maybe Santawas looking for things he could use to make the stocking look a little less flat.” Sharon said, glaring at Jinkx.

Jinkx zipped up her jacket. “Good idea of Santa.”

“And Cheetos!”

Jinkx snorted, covering her mouth at the glare Sharon gave to her. “How kind of Santa.”

“Mmm.” Sharon hummed. She couldn’t help the genuine smile that came to her face at the innocent joy Aquaria was getting from the things in her stocking. It was literally seven dollars worth of candy, chips, and soda, and kid was acting like she had been given a golden ticket to Wonka’s chocolate factory.

“This is the best day ever.” Aquaria said, brightly. “I’m so happy.”

Jinkx sat down next to Sharon. “See.” She said quietly, smiling fondly at Aqua. “Santa did good.”

Sharon dropped her voice to almost nothing and leaned into Jinkx. “Santa’s still got three presents for her to open before she realises she’s not getting that damn doll.”

They watched together as Aquaria looked between the three remaining gifts. She looked up at them.

“Which one should I open first?”

Jinkx looked to Sharon. “Which one do you think?”

Sharon shrugged. “Up to you, kiddo.”

Aquaria looked back down at the gifts. “I love how Santa wrapped them.” She said absently. “Beautiful.”

Jinkx elbowed Sharon. “Beautiful wrapping.”

Sharon glared at her.

“This one, first!” Aqua exclaimed, and picked up the puffy package, wrapped in a pink lace, the black of the gift showing through. Aquaria pulled away the fabric wrappings to reveal the tutu, now completed with a hand-stoned pattern throughout the fabric. The held it out in front of her. “Mommy!” She called, gleefully. “It’s my sparkle dress. It’s perfect.”

Sharon blinked hard and sniffed away the burning at the back of her eyes. “You like it?”

Aquaria began pulling on the skirt atop her pyjamas, spinning as she did. “I love it. I love it.” She laughed and jumped on the spot. “It’s perfect, Mama!” She began dancing around the room, twirling and curtsying in her tutu, singing a nonsensical song. 

“Come on, Aqua, open the others!” Jinkx said. 

Aquaria stopped her song, running back over to the coffee table. She looked between the remaining gifts with concentration etched onto her little face. 

“Hurry up.” Jinkx laughed. “I want to see what Santa brought you, but I have to leave in five minutes to sit behind a desk in a hotel lobby and pretend to be happy for rich people.”

Jinkx’s encouragement seemed to resign Aquaria to picking out the smaller of the two gifts, flat and wrapped in a navy blue satin with a white ribbon. She gently lifted the gift from the table and pulled at the bow on the ribbon. The fabric fell away, and Sharon pushed herself further back in her seat.

Aquaria gasped. “I love it.” She said. “It’s a book!” She held it out to Sharon and Jinkx. “Look at my book. Look at my book.”

“I see it.” Jinkx smiled. “Do you know what book it is?”

Sharon watched, chewing on her chipped thumbnail, as Aqua frowned at the front over of the book, attempting to decipher the title. She hoped she didn’t notice the slight discolouration of the pages, or the way the hardcover spine was bunched on the bottom edge.

“It’s too hard.” Aquaria said. “Jinkxy read it, please?”

“It says ‘Guess How Much I Love You’.”

“And it has bunnies on the pictures!” Aquaria began flipping through the book. “It’s my favourite book ever.”

“You haven’t read it, yet.” Sharon said.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s my favourite.”

Sharon had to bite her knuckle and close her eyes for a second. She was not going to fucking cry over this.

Jinkx leaned forward in her seat. “Open the other one, Aquaria.” 

The kid picked up the last gift, and barely had to touch the ribbon before the orange fabric fell away to reveal what was nota Barbie underneath. Aqua held up the present, mouth open slightly, and head tilted.

“Hello.” She said in a small voice. “You are the most beautifulist person I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Jinkx cackled. “It’s a cat not a person!”

“He’s still a person and I love him.” Aquaria hugged the stuffed animal tight to her chest, rocking from side to side. “He’s perfect. He’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten ever!”

Sharon stood up and crossed over to the kitchen, standing by the sink with her back to the living area. She frantically wiped the tears from her cheeks, swallowing hard.

“Mommy, I got a kitty.” Aquaria ran to her, wrapping her arms around Sharon’s legs. “Mama, look at my kitty. Isn’t he perfect?” 

“Yeah.” Sharon, sniffed hard. “He’s pretty perfect.”

She turned and picked up Aquaria, resting her on her hip and hugging her tightly. “I’m glad you liked your gifts.”

“I love them. They’re my favourite things ever.”

Sharon kissed her. “You’re my favourite thing ever.”

Aquaria giggled. She held up the cat. “Meow.”

…………

It was mid March and Sharon was poor.

The phone bill had never been paid and her service had been cut off.

They were two weeks late on rent.

Sharon had worked every day for the past seventeen days.

But life was good.

She rushed home from another night of school to get back before Jinkx could put Aquaria to bed. The little girl was brushing her teeth when Sharon peeked her head around the bathroom door.

“Mommy’s home.” Aquaria smiled, mouth covered in white foam. “Hi, Mommy. I missed you.”

Sharon wiped her mouth with a towel and gave her a kiss. “I told you I’d be here to snuggle you before bed.”

Aquaria reached up her arms and Sharon picked her up, walking her through to the bedroom.

“Night, night, Jinkxy.” Aqua called.

“Sleep tight, Aqua.”

Sharon gave Jinkx a quick wave before going into her and Aquaria’s room and closing the door. “Ready for bedtime?”

Aquaria climbed onto their bed from Sharon’s arms. “Yeah. And we’re gonna read my story?”

“Sure.” Sharon climbed into the bed. “Go get it and we’ll read.” As she settled herself against the pillows at the head of the bed, Sharon watched as Aqua reached to the window sill to grab the small hardback book. Not that she really needed the book, Aquaria could recite it from memory, the two of them read it so often, but the pictures were still nice for her to look at, and the routine of reading in bed was soothing to the both of them.

“And where’s Cerrone?” Sharon asked as Aquaria snuggled next to her.

“He’s just here.” The kid produced the fluffy stuffed cat from underneath the covers. I tucked him in before you got home.”

“Okay,” Sharon said, “so we’re all ready?”

“Yep.”

“Aqua’s here.” Sharon kissed her head. “And Cerrone’s here.” She kissed the fluffy head of the stuffed cat. “And Mommy’s here.” She kissed her own hand and Aquaria giggled.

“No, I gotta kiss you, silly.”

Sharon gasped. “Oh, you’re right. I can’t believe I forgot!” She let herself be pulled down by the collar of her shirt for Aquaria to kiss her.

“There.” Aqua chirped, snuggling back into the blankets. “Now we can read the story.” She prodded the book in Sharon’s hand. “Start the story, Mommy.”

“Okay.” Sharon said, wrapping an arm around Aquaria’s shoulders. She opened the book and let Aqua turn to the first page. “Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare’s very long ears.”