#I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am the most miserable piss fuck all that has ever existed or will ever exist

[skinnypaleangryperson]

How cocky and playful and boyish Rick is is always such an instant swoon ❤️❤️ the eyebrow raise and that smirk. I hoard them like a goblin

[re-diesirae]

13. Chris

Irritation was beyond what Chris was currently feeling. He and the Alpha team had been preparing to leave for Leon's location point when the second wave of B.O.W.s attacked the city. The emergency call required their immediate response, and the Alpha team's departure was pushed back, much to Chris dismay. His sister was somewhere in the middle of nowhere at the other side of the planet, most likely in great danger, and the damn mutants were preventing him from going to her rescue.

The second wave of attacks was on a bigger scale than the first one, but with the civilians evacuated, B.S.A.A had received permission to use any force necessary to stop the attackers. The city got engulfed in a sea of fire and destruction that brought him a bunch of bad memories, and what he hated the most was that his little sister would return to find her home destroyed.

"Fuck those terrorists," Barry's annoyed growl sounded somewhere close to his side. They had barricaded themselves in a building as they shot a horde of j'avo that had decided to open fire on them, "Can't I just throw them a grenade and end with their pathetic zombie asses?"

"More like mutant, insect asses, Barry," Jill corrected him.

"Who cares? It is all the same to me..."

"What's our status?" Chris groaned as he replaced the cartridge of his machine gun.

"Surrounded. These bastards won't give us a break," Jill replied.

"Have they ever done such a thing?" Barry spitted in annoyance.

"Get down...I'm using one of these."

Following a previous suggestion from Barry, Chris pulled off one of the grenade's security locks and threw it against the j'avos. The thing exploded, sending the foes flying in pieces.

"Well, that surely worked," Jill approved.

"Yeah, why didn't we do that from the beginning?" Barry growled.

Chris was about to articulate a response to that when the sizzling of his radio interrupted him in mid-sentence.

"HQ to Redfield, do you copy?"

"Redfield here."

"Redfield, a large scale B.O.W has been spotted north from your position. We sent the Betta team to size it, but we lost contact with them 10 minutes ago. We need you and Alpha Team to check on the situation."

"Understood. We will take a look. Redfield out."

Chris pushed his radio back into his utility belt and turned to the rest of the team. Barry looked at him and shook his head grumpily.

"So we get to do babysitting, huh?" Barry sighed, "Soldiers these days are useless."

"You sound like a cranky old man, Barry..." Jill teased.

"I'm stating a fact. I don't remember our men being such a joke when we started at this..."

"Not everyone can be like you or Chris, Barry."

"I should suggest some new training plans when this shit is over..."

" I am sure there are a lot of things we can do when this shit is over. For now, let's deal with this crap first. I still got to get Claire back."

"Relax, big brother. Claire is a tough cookie who knows how to take care of herself. The girl has survived three zombie apocalypses" Barry chuckled, "She might even be tougher than you despite being a girl."

"Hey, don't underestimate a woman," Jill smirked, faking an offended glare.

"Of course, I do not. Don't forget that I live surrounded by four. I am always on the losing side..."

Jill laughed, imagining how life in the Burton house probably was.

"Either way, Barry is right, Claire won't die so easily, she's a Redfield, and Redfields are hard to kill."

"And don't forget Kennedy is with her," Jill added.

"Yeah, I bet Kennedy will take care of her," Barry nodded, "So let's focus on cleaning up the city, shall we?"

"Huh," Jill snorted, "When Claire comes back and finds this mess, she won't be too happy with you, Chris."

Chris snorted. He could picture Claire's pissed look as she complained about him rushing to rescue her and leaving her beloved city at the mercy of a B.O.W. attack. Jill was right, Claire would be angry at him, and he knew better than to provoke his little sister's fury.

"Well then, let's clean up this city. If there is anything I fear in this world, that is Claire when she's angry."

He wasn't lying, and he found it amusing. He could face a war, survive a zombie apocalypse, fight horrifying mutants, and yet, Chris couldn't stand his sister's glare, tears, or anything she did to persuade him. Barry had always laughed, saying that he had a sister complex, but more than a sister complex, it was a soft spot for her. She was his baby-sister no matter how old she grew, and she had certain privileges that no one else in the world would ever get from him.

"Heh, I wonder how scary can the little Redfield be if she can make the almighty Chris Redfield scared., Barry laughed, "Is she that scary? I've never seen her mad."

"That's because she's the sort of woman who wouldn't get mad unless you did something truly despicable," Chris commented.

"Ow...and what exactly did you do to anger her?" Jill asked curiously.

"I am her brother. I am an exception. She always gets mad at me at the minimal thing," he said as he shot a couple of mutated j'avos that had been chasing them.

"So, you get the privilege to feel her anger for small things," Barry asked, shooting another group of infected, "I don't envy you at all, pal, and wait till you get married. Your wife will team up with Claire and make you miserable. I know what I tell you. When my girls team up against me, it is worse than fighting off zombies."

Chris wondered about that. He couldn't imagine how bad that would be, and he heard Jill amused laugh.

"This might be the first time I'll see Chris scared at all."

The two soldiers broke into a fit of laughter, and Chris rolled his eyes.

"You two….stop it already." Chris growled grumpily, "Focus on the mission!"

"Well, excuse me for trying to lighten the mood," Barry said with a chuckle," "I think this is the place," Jill said, checking her intel.

Chris looked around. The place was deadly quiet, and there were no signs of the soldiers or zombies. He signaled Jill and Barry to be alert, and both of them nodded as they took a position with their weapons ready. Chris walked into the place, looking around with his gun raised. So far, there were no signs of the B.O.W., but he noticed something lying a couple of feet from him.

"Redfield here. I've found the members of Team Betta. The situation is bad. I'll look for survivors."

"Understood, be careful, team Alpha."

Chris walked cautiously around the bodies, feeling disgusted. It looked like a slaughterhouse; something had torn the soldiers into pieces, and their body parts laid scattered all over the place. It was a massacre and a horrendous one. Chris was sad to say it, but he doubted that there were any survivors from Team Betta.

"Chris, watch out!" Jill's voice shouted out of sudden.

Chris turned around in time to dodge a reddish blur that jumped over him. The man rolled over his side and got back up with his gun raised. He shot the B.O.W. that had just attacked him, and he could hear Barry and Jill shooting, too.

"Watch out! I think this thing might be the one who slaughtered the whole Betta team."

The creature roared and vanished into the surrounding darkness.

"What the fuck is that thing?" Barry growled.

"I have no idea," Chris said, reloading his gun, "but I don't think it is good news. Alpha Team to HQ, do you copy?"

"This is HQ. We hear you, Alpha Team."

"We have a situation," Chris said, aiming his gun. He could hear something moving around them, but he could not see it. "Unknown B.O.W. Most-likely, the one responsible for Betta Team's slaughter. Requesting back-up."

"Copied. Hang on in there, Alpha team."

There was a screech, and the red blur jumped out of the shadows, trying to tackle them. The trio rolled over and evaded it.

"What the fuck?" Barry said, shooting.

Chris had no idea what it was, either. The creature in front of them was something they had never encountered before. It looked like a giant meaty caterpillar with four long paws that ended in curling tentacles. There was a long slash on its face, filled by long yellowish fangs. The drool was dripping disgustingly from it. The three of them were shooting endless at it as the thing jumped from a wall to the other, roaring.

The trio rolled over the ground dodging the whipping tentacles. The creature, despite lacking eyes, was easily tracking their movements. Chris had showered the meaty body with a wave of bullets, but the thing didn't seem to be affected. The creature roared once more, showing the second row of yellow fangs and a bifid black tongue.

"What an ugly face. Makes me wanna punch it."

"You are welcome to blow it up, Barry," Jill said.

"Heh..thought you'd never say it."

Barry pulled out one of his grenades and threw it into the B.O.W. The first grenade barely missed the creature, but the explosion effect managed to hurt it and throw it on the ground. Taking advantage of its vulnerable position, Barry threw a second grenade directly at it as Jill and Chris kept shooting at it. The explosion raised an intense flame, and when the fumes had dissipated, the monster laid dead and half scorched.

"Well, there you have it. Nothing can do against a well-aimed grenade... "

"What the hell is this thing?" Jill said with a disgusted look.

"Guess it is Neo-Umbrella's new toy, " Chris said, kicking the corpse to take a look. "Team Alpha here. We took down the B.O.W that attacked Betta Team. It's been taken care of, but we found no survivors."

"Those are unfortunate news. Understood, team Alpha. Return to HQ, let clean-up to the back-up team. You've received new additional orders."

"What new orders, sir? If I may ask..." Jill said, looking at Chris with a frown.

"We've received intel from a member from the F.O.S, concerning the location of agent Kennedy. The place might be testing grounds for developing B.O.W.s"

"Just great, another Santa's factory of B.O.W." Barry mumbled bitterly. Chris knew the man was still bothered by what had happened to his daughter two years ago. Heck, he was mad, too. They had taken Claire once, and they had taken her again and right under his nose. Those fucking bastards would have to pay.

"You've been ordered to rescue and investigate the place. An aircraft is waiting for you at the power building. You are to depart asap."

"Understood. We are on our way."

Chris looked at his companions. His face twisted in an angry look. Those damned terrorists would pay if they touched a single hair of his sister, and he wasn't kidding.

"Leon...Claire. We are coming for you."

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[96percentdone]

it’s time. for meta. about how Viktor Nikiforov is the Most Transparent™ because I need to establish this.

Y’all have accepted that he’s got an excellent control over his temper. You’ve also accepted Viktor’s pretty good at acting. I agree with both of those things, at least, to an extent. 

In terms of his temper yeah I totally agree. He doesn’t lash out (generally), and his actions, if there are any, are highly restrained in proportion to his anger. That being said, it’s super apparent when Viktor’s annoyed. Like here! Episode four!

Look at him he’s blatantly annoyed. He’s got the fucking shadows over his eyes and everything.

But even after Yuuri turns around, look at his face. This isn’t like a true Cheery Viktor™ face. This is like Viktor pretending to be his normal self, but it’s clearly not working like. At all. And we saw him make the transition to this face. Came with a ding noise and everything. We know this isn’t accurate at all anyway. And I think Yuuri knows too considering his reaction. 

Is that fear or is that fear. (Hint: it’s fear). Like, of course part of this is definitely attributed to Yuuri’s anxiety, of this I have no doubts. But I think if Viktor wasn’t so transparently annoyed in the way he made his entrance, to his not quite genuine face, to his tone of voice, it probably wouldn’t look like this. 

in episode 5 you’ve got more annoyed Viktor, but in this episode he makes no attempt at hiding it, I mean look.

Look. 

To quote dub Viktor in episode 2: “that’s not a happy face.”

I could get more from that pre-SP hug in particular but you really get my point here. He’s clearly not happy. Very transparent. 

I’m not going to address episode 10 because everyone and their mother has already addressed episode 10. We all know Viktor was Fucking Pissed (insert that one Kirby picture but like. with Viktor).  

Viktor is very transparent in his anger, but it doesn’t stop there. Because Viktor wears his entire heart on his sleeve, and I think he’s aware of this. That’s why, especially for the public, he acts. And here’s where it gets tricky. Because I think Viktor’s a good actor, but only for a specific type of audience: the general public. 

We know that before Yuuri Viktor was depressed, given how he talks about his past and what little we’ve seen from it. He’s described skating as a shackle around his neck, and his life before Yuuri was devoid of “life and love” But there’s visual indicators of this too. Like these brief glimpse of the old Viktor in episode 11.

He’s so sad and miserable I am going to cry Vitya let me hug you. But there’s another reason I showed this. It’s to compare this, with Viktor by himself, to Viktor in front of a crowd.

He’s won the GPF for the fifth time in a row. The crowd is going wild, but look at his face. His smile. We know Viktor. We know what a truly happy Viktor looks like. He’s got a heart shaped smile and his whole body radiates joy, and this isn’t him. That smile isn’t even a real smile. Viktor’s just doing it because it’s expected, and the crowd eats it up, like they eat up the rest of his public persona. But it’s fake. We know he’s not happy and we even know what happy Viktor looks like. It’s so obvious.

“but if it’s so fake, why do they buy it?” Because they don’t know him. And we didn’t either when all of us first watched this episode, so we all bought it. Maybe we, and maybe some of his fans, think something is off, but no one knows him well enough to prove anything. It’s all speculation. All they have (and all we had) is just what Viktor wanted to show us. That’s why it works. He’s a great actor to the public and the like, because the public is never shown anything he doesn’t want them to see. 

But this wouldn’t work on anyone who knows him. Like Yakov. This is where it gets into hc territory, I suppose but I imagine Yakov would notice. He’s been Viktor’s coach for so long, and if you look at the brief glances of younger Viktor to this Viktor, they’re very different. Yakov honestly feels like Viktor’s dad at this point, so he would notice. Maybe he’s even tried to bring it up, but Viktor acts in front of everyone, not just a crowd. “I’m fine, Yakov.” You’re not, Yakov thinks, but he can’t successfully bring it up with Viktor. 

Less HC territory is Yurio, who clearly noticed something was wrong, but didn’t put it together properly. Yurio concludes Viktor’s lost his inspiration and he’s entered a slump. Maybe that’s true, but that’s not all of it. But he still knows something is wrong.

I can’t argue for anyone else who was probably a part of Viktor’s life at this point, as we have basically nothing to base it off of. With Georgi or Mila or Chris we don’t actually know if they were even close, or how close, before Yuuri. There’s nothing to base it off of. 

We actually see Yuuri make a transition from one side to the other. Yuuri was a fan who didn’t know Viktor, and slowly gets to know him, seeing beyond the man he put on a pedestal. It’s pretty neat.

tl;dr: Viktor is hella transparent. I agree he’s got good control over his temper, and that he acts, but he’s still transparent as fuck.

[gaiabamman]

Get the whole Kindle book on Amazon for $4.99! Paperback and audio forthcoming ^_^

Lethal seems lost in thought, our fight hopefully over. Chatting around the table resumes. There is no way I’m gonna eat insta-food when I have a full pantry at my place. I like carbs and proteins mixed in tasty treats rather than dispensed as needed. Call me ancient school or blame it on the way I was raised, but I’m gonna stick to Libre, tonight.

I start chatting with Min about today’s mission. After a wile, I ask, “How the Merc do you figure Vulture got his skill?”

“What do you mean?”

“How could a kid be inclined to make dead things decay?” I’m asking about Vulture, but I’m really wondering about Lethal.

Min laughs again, as jovial as ever. “Oh, I see you learned about our skills, huh? Vulture was very much concerned with ecology and the fate of our poor planet. He’s excellent at garbage disposal, which comes in handy in a military setting.” I feel slightly nauseous, but can only agree.

Drama whispers, “Why do you keep thinking about Lethal and how bonked up he is?”

“I don’t know. I just cannot wrap my head around it, I guess.”

I know Drama is staring at me from my hot, hot shoulder, where he is still leaning. I kinda want to melt into him. I drain my third cup of Libre, feeling a warm fuzziness spread inside my chest and between my legs. I can’t tell if it’s the Libre or the effect of Drama being so close to me, but when I sneak a peek at him his eyes are fixed on me, his gaze intense with desire.

When I get up to go back to my place, I stumble, but Drama catches me. I shiver just because of his arms around me, but he doesn’t stop there. He leans in to nuzzle my neck. I stiffen, freaking the Merc out, and he releases me.

Everyone around us started to get inappropriate for human standards. Lethal is talking to a redhead, caressing her thigh under the table. Min and Dime are making out. Zera leaves, grabbing Browser’s ass. He laughs, while nuzzling Kino. It looks like something in between a litter of puppies and a PG25 holo-show.

Ashamed and unsettled, I walk away, trying not to catch up with Zera and the rest of her threesome. Drama falls in stride with me, but doesn’t say a word.

By the time we’re at my door, I turn to say goodbye. His hand reaches for my cheek, his gesture full of compassion and empathy. I so darn like this guy, and he knows it. He closes his eyes, savoring my feelings.

I say, “We’re drunk. This is not—”

He brushes his thumb over my cheekbone and steps closer to me, my nose barely away from his chest, and I forget what I was gonna say. I don’t know if it’s the Libre, or the most intense thirty hours of my life, but I am craving closeness with another human… or rather, another Cursoi. Fine, maybe Drama in particular.

Since there is no one here to judge me, I lean my face into his chest, taking in his sea scent. I peer up and notice that Drama’s eyes are closed, his lips lightly parted, soaking up my emotions. He’s the most sensual thing I have ever seen.

Emo yells, “Wanna hit the humans, guys?”

Her voice startles me, and I try to jerk away from Drama’s hug, but his strong arms won’t let me. I just see him shaking his head. He senses my anxiety and his embrace loosens, allowing me to step back.

Emo is already catching up to someone else. “Fine, next time!”

“Can I come in?” Drama asks.

I look warily at my door. “Drama, you won’t merge here. So you might want to follow Emo, wherever she ends up.”

“I’d rather take my chances.” He smirks.

“Well, I will not.”

I close the door in his face, lean my back against it, and cry.

I thought Cursoi had it easy, but they don’t.

Lying in my bed, staring at the flickering shadows the candles project on the ceiling, I don’t feel as entitled to resent them as I did before. They might live in the most incredible place, they have food and shelter, but having ninety broken bones in a day does not make it worth it. Having to obey orders does not make it worth it either.

How many people did Lethal have to kill to turn out the way he is? Alienated by his own kind, a prisoner of the demons festering in his head.

Even thinking of Lethal won’t get my mind off Drama, his parted lips, his expression when I closed the door in his face. I sigh, less than holy thoughts surfing my veins on a tide of Libre. My hand travels to my navel, imagining that Drama could feel what I’m feeling. Lower. Lower. Mmm.

I guess I am Cursoi, after all, but I doubt that merging with myself is going to do me any good.

The following morning is gorgeous. The park glistens with dew and resonates with the trill of a bird. I reach the rest of the Apprentices by the salitree, waiting for Ghost to show up and start universal geo and politics.

Lethal is shouting, “Bonking Saturnites! They think they can come here looking for jobs when our own people are starving?”

“Our own people?” I blurt. “What the Merc do you know about starving humans?”

He shrugs. “I fucked half the capital, Dumb, didn’t I? I’m sympathetic to terrestrial problems.”

Did my comment make it to his ears? Did Browser pry it out of my brain?

“Woo-hoo!” someone yells at his jab. Cursoi gather around us, smiling. Dime rubs his hands, anticipating the fight.

“You son of a nymph!” I yell. “You know nothing of hunger and cold!”

“You’re right, Dumb, but since you do, why are you defending the bonking Saturnites?”

“Because when the temperature on your planet is one-hundred-and-sixty-eight below freezing and you have no place to stay, you bonking go wherever you can!”

“That’s right!” someone yells.

Drama pulls my sleeve. “Nala, forget him.”

Lethal replies. “Well, they’re not welcome here. We have our own issues.”

“Exactly!” someone says, and someone else replies,

“Oh, shut the bonk up.”

I ignore them. “Like what, Lethal? What issues do you have beyond a psychotic streak?”

“Ouch!” Zera says, chuckling, and I barely register Drama walking away from me.

Lethal replies, “Oh, yeah, I forget that you were a homeless brat just until yesterday, now you’re just a brat.”

“I wasn’t homeless, but I had to fight to survive!”

“And you think I don’t? That we don’t? How many times do you think I died on the job?”

That sends me over the edge, mind reeling. No one ever worked me up the way angel face can.

I reply, furious, “No, Lethal, I don’t think you know much about struggling to survive when food appears on your table, when you live in a dream castle, when no one can even touch you without you wanting them to, and you can go back in time if you get hurt, or die. There is no rewind option for humans!”

He glares at me. “Because they don’t deserve one! I kinda regret you crossed to our side, because I’d rather crush you once and for all!”

“Frogdung…” Min blurts, and I can tell he does not believe Lethal, but I do.

I yell, “Crush all my organs, Lethal, but that still doesn’t make you right. You don’t get the right to be on Earth just because you were born here!”

“Wake up, Nala! They’re just lazy! I work my ass off and it ain’t pretty!”

“Oh, so if you had been born ugly, starving, and skill-less on Saturn, you’d just stay there to die?”

“It would be the decent thing to do.”

“Argh!” I jump at his neck before Drama can sense what I’m about to do. I know Lethal will turn my insides to mush, but the fury on his face turns to surprise as I give him a pathetic punch on his pretty nose.

Ouch!

Everyone explodes in jeers, oohs, and aaahs.

“What the Merc is going on here?” Ghost blurts.

Lethal touches his bleeding nose, and I shake my hurting hand. I don’t think I broke anything but, miserably enough, I cannot heal it. I suck at being Cursoi.

“How…?” Lethal asks, bewildered.

“Oh, bonk you!” I yell, sitting down to ignore him and nurse my hand.

I sit through geo, not listening to one word, murderous thoughts thundering in my head. It’s people like Lethal who voted for Crash, who gave him the power to target the weakest and make it look like strength rather than cowardice.

Ghost says, “Pair up. I want you to argue about pros and cons of closing import from other planets.”

Boring.

Drama comes to sit in front of me immediately, and he looks pissed.

I say, “What a bonking jerk, right?”

Drama shakes his head. “I’m mad at you, not Lethal.”

“Really?”

“Is your hand broken? Why didn’t you ask Min—”

I look away. “Just bruised. Lethal is so arrogant and ignorant!”

Drama shrugs. “And you aren’t? You called him a psycho.”

Ouch! “But he is one!”

“Maybe he has issues, but that doesn’t make it right to call him names.”

“Drama, did you ever wonder why his inclination was to be able to crush people’s insides?”

“Nala, we are all different with our own skills and opinions. Lethal is a good soldier, one of the best, in fact. I like him as much as you do, but when you jumped at him to punch him in the face, you turned into everything you despise in him. You were the bully.”

“What?” I’m furious, but I think about it. As offensive as Lethal was, he just uttered words. I’m the one who broke his bonking angel nose.

Drama adds, “But I did enjoy it.” That makes me smile a little. “How the Merc did you manage? Did he let you? I didn’t even see it coming.”

I shrug. “I guess I took everyone by surprise, huh? Am I in trouble? Ghost saw us.”

“Brawls are common, even more so when Min is around to clean up the mess, but no one has ever laid a finger on Lethal, before. You are quite incredible, Nala.”

“Yeah, right. If only I could heal my hand.”

“Well, you need to train, and if you merged—”

Ghost yells, “Nala, Drama! Closing imports! Come on, now.”

That afternoon, the last thing I wanna do is endure Lethal crushing my organs. I bet he’s a little too eager. He’s wearing a white tunic, immaculate again after Min fixed his nose. I scowl at Lethal, and Min shakes his head, amused.

Ghost is sitting by the oak tree, waiting for us, head in his hands. “You two better calm the bonk down.” Before Lethal can question his leverage, Ghost’s head snaps up and he says, “I’m considering isolation, Lethal.”

His angel face blanches. “What? She punched me!”

Why would isolation be such a big deal? Oh, he wouldn’t be able to merge. I smirk. Well, welcome to my world, son of a nymph!

Ghost says, “Enough. Let’s try to make some progress today.”

I protest, “Ghost, I read your silly book, but everything you know about Cursoi is empirical. There is no science, no data!”

“Let’s start training.”

“Ghost, listen! Everything you know is because Lymph made some really basic observations two-thousand years ago! If she hadn’t had an inquisitive mind there would be no Cursoi at all!”

Lethal huffs. “Are we training or what?”

I ignore him. “Ghost, I could find out how to enhance skills!”

Ghost rolls his eyes. “Fine! I’ll have to ask Brain for permission, and you’ll report to me every day and not share what you find unless I say so. If I don’t like what I see, you will stop. Understood?”

“Thanks!” I almost hug him, but then realize I’ve never seen Cursoi hug unless they were getting it on, and I hold back.

Ghost replies, “We’re still training, though.” He nods at Lethal, and the pain starts.