#I love candy corn but the gluten free versions are hard to find :(

[captainandtheircorgi]

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this or that game: halloween

Tagged by both @sunandwhiskeysthots and @queereldritchgalaxyprincess so I'm finally doing this because its not mobile friendly

cute or scary halloween • indoor or outdoor decorations both • spider webs or pumpkins • candy corn: yay or nay • mini candies or full size candies • scary movies: yay or nay • ghosts vs werewolves vs vampires • haunted house: yay or nay maybe?• pumpkin flavored foods or halloween shaped/themed foods • matching costumes or individualized costumes • pillow case basket or pumpkin shaped basket • ghost shaped or bat shaped cookies • halloween starts october 1 or october 31 • spooky music or monster mash • jumpscares: yay or nay • fog machine or floating decorations • last minute costume planning or planned weeks months ahead of time

No pressure tags: @astudyinchocolate @theoneandonlywhitetiger @corgiofdeath

[bigfootsgirlfriendd]

back 2 THIS oversharing but i am going to mildly shove my mother. i love her AND!!!! she buys me junk. like...hello. the kind bar is one thing but she noticed the first week of quarantine the part of this ED i actually find ugly reared its head as in i ate...too many corn chips and wanted to die and worked off the calories which also made me want to die...and during that i built some muscle from all the fucking workouts but in my quadriceps and then i was like now i REALLY want to kill myself. but anyways. i complain because what the fuck else do i have to say. not a hell of a lot. to continue complaining....she bought me corn chips and like!!! ones specifically for me and i was thinking in my head ‘i will take you out.’ i didnt ask for it. ive been stressing that i dont want to eat that shit. like i talked to her about it and how distressing it is for me. i mean think about it. a little. it’s hard to describe what it’s LIKE to feel so horrific about shit food and your body even when you are still like a size 2-4 and so i should just shut up, right? but the physical reality doesnt even matter. ok it does because when your dumbass disordered brain makes u eat shit guess what. the amount of PHYSICAL pain it causes. i potentially have celiac and the fact that i would still eat bread and it was fucking EXCRUCIATING. and i know pain, given i am female. this was worse than the cramps that had me lying on the ground for a solid hour. just waiting for it to be over. 

anyways. it’d been awhile since the last grocery run (well, about a week) and FINALLY. i was making progress for a few days. feeling good! eating my regular healthy shit and NOTHING. ELSE. it just sucks so bad when people around you eat like shit and don’t care. luckily i have like..the vegan thing and telling myself (though i can’t confirm it, like, NOW) that i have celiac has helped. but every damn day dude!! my f*ther is constantly shitting on my sister for eating a lot of sugar and saying ‘she’s gonna get diabetes’ which...isn’t wROnG per se but like sir your body is already failing you every damn day of the week and you eat like shit! who’s the one eating shit tons of red meat, mayonnaise (which, btw...that should be a crime that gets you put in jail. none of this weed shit. if you eat mayo....straight to prison), BEER. like sir what the fuck did you think would happen. my mother...is interesting lmao she eats a lot of shitty things but small amounts and then continues to eat small amounts of actually good things too ‘to compensate.’ is she rail thin? no! then why do i feel insecure? well!! that is my issue to deal with. issues? probably. i just want to like...manifest my own like shed. doesnt have to be large or anything. shed. with my kitchen and pots and pans and spoons and not oNE of them has been used to cook something gross. and those pantry shelves? you’ll see nothing but legumes, broth and almond milk! PERIOD. (okay...unless i’ve forgotten something else). 

what i am saying is all i asked for food wise was fruits, vegetables, broth, almond milk. baby carrots as a snack for the hummus in the fridge. and she bought me a family size bag of corn chips and a glorified candy bar of a product (less sugar? maybe so. but who the fuck cares? it’s literally all trash). maybe i will crush them up and flush them down the toilet. i hate to be wasteful. but it is waste is it not. then i have to wash the container tonight. and she bought another box of gluten free crackers. which....ma’am. they have sugar added. im not gonna fucking touch them. why would you do this. 

it’s so wild cause growing up i always thought my mom, at least, was healthy. that as a family we were healthy. but i feel like in america we have such a warped view of what that actually fucking means. and this is on the east coast, too! i can’t imagine the midwest. i’m a skeleton in the grave there i’m sure. which isn’t entirely their fault. but anyways. but looking at all this shit. like....i want to scream? kind of? 

i would, but...best not to have neighbors think that you’re getting murdered. although...i think that people feel like neighbors would do something if they heard noises. but let’s be real. every time some random knocks on the door we play dead until it goes away. let telemarketers go to voicemail. block out sirens with noise cancelling headphones or, country version (rural?) if you hear some whack shit out in the woods? like fuck are you gonna go out there and investigate! you’re gonna go ‘well that’s none of my business’, pretend to forget you heard it, and move on! i don’t know how many of these sentences are coherent. 

i’m gonna go eat some baby carrots now. fuck.