I love three houses discourse because I'm pretty sure everyone just picks their route based on which house leader they're the most gay for and then tries to defend their pick by pointing out the other sides's war crimes via twitter memes. Reader, all four of them do substantial quantities of war crimes. So many. We're just here because the woman with Issues and a big fuck-off axe said so, and then we gotta justify everything she did in the name of dismantling the class system. I mean, I'm here for that, but you could also try justifying Charm Man uses poison and perfidy to try to stop racism, A Sad Little Meow Meow gives no quarter instead of doing therapy, or the Thicc Pope tries to bring back her mom via human experimentation, depending on your tastes
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I think applying tropes commonly found in Sonadow fics to other sonic ships is very funny
Like today I saw the cute posts by Blu-ish about how hedgehogs circle and headbutt eachother when courting and how Sonic and Shadow would do that and I agree.
However I think the implication that mobian hedgehogs do this is HILARIOUS when applied to ships that only involve one hedgehog.
Like Silver starts circling around Espio one day and lightly shoving him with his hip or his shoulder and Espio is like: ???? What are you doing??
Or even Blazamy like- Amy keeps circling Blaze and the less Blaze reciprocates Amy does it more to try to get Blaze to react. Blaze eventually just tries to politely tell Amy to stop cause it’s hard to hold conversation while she’s moving all around.
But later Blaze talks to Silver and is like: “I have no idea what she is trying to do…perhaps she is finding a weakness in my stance? Should I fear her hunting me for sport???”
And Silver is like: uh. Well. I think she’s hitting on you? It’s a hedgehog thing.
And Blaze just freaks out because WHAT DO YOU MEAN AMY WAS FLIRTING WITH HER
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Thinkin' about "didn't know they were dating" Phinabella but Isabella is the one who doesn't know.
She's been pining for years and finally can't take it anymore and blurts out that she's in love with him, and Phineas immediately and enthusiastically returns the sentiment, saying that he's glad she's finally felt comfortable enough to say it after all this time. (Isabella is loading, but manages to say, "what?")
Turns out that Phineas always returned her feelings, he just doesn't show them in big, flowery ways like he does in her fantasies. ("You didn't think Paris was romantic? I had so much fun looking for airplane parts together!" and "You've always been special to me, Isabella. I don't treat Buford or Baljeet like I treat you." and "You always seemed so nervous, I didn't want to push it." and "I'm happy as long as you're around, anyway — we don't have to be holding hands or kissing.")
Isabella is casually having an existential crisis as years of their friendship recontextualizes itself in her head. Phineas is waiting for her to finish processing very patiently. (He's waited this long, after all.) And with the confusion cleared up, they both agree to "continue" "dating" and have their first kiss 💕🥺
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the fucking try guys thing is getting people to share the wildest takes on How To Spot An Adulterous Husband 101, on how Wife Guys™ are overcompensating and if you love your spouse you don't need to share it with the world and it's kind of a red flag if you do, and everyone in the notes being like "oh my god this is such a good take" and im like. sorry but it's really not lmao ??
this is not how relationships work, everyone is different! some people love their spouse and are content with keeping it between themselves. some people love their spouse and feel the need to shout it from the rooftops. and yeah, sure some people will also pretend to love their spouse but actually disrespect them or cheat on them. but if anything, I'm pretty sure that among "regular people" (who don't need to keep up a particularly loveable public persona) this last group is quite rare. the whole ball-and-chain schtick is still so prevalent among straight ppl that I have very rarely seen men talk about how much they love their partner irl, and when they do I'm inclined to believe them because I know them.
but that's the thing, you don't know these people! I love my parasocial relationships with celebrities like any tumblrina but y'all need to remember that! and being a Wife Guy is just like any other aspect of a celebrity's character: you have no way of telling if it's real or just their persona! hell, even with people you know, you might not notice that they're being insincere, but that doesn't mean they always are!!
tl;dr: PLEASE stop trying to pull behavioural patterns out of your ass and let us Wife Guys gush about our partners in peace lmao
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