#I love seeing SY meme on Binghe is it my favorite thing

[indigoire]

I love Tarnished Gold so much. Shen Yuan as Gongyi Xiao just memeing on Luo Binghe in the dreamscape, like the internet troll that he is 😂

[spockandawe]

Shen Jiu/Tianlang-jun

Or, I came here for the dunking on binghe vibe, lingered for the aesthetic, and then tripped accidentally into an au that’s actually really compelling me hard that I want to figure out more

(yes it’s the 2k thing that hit me out of nowhere, but i wrote that out and it didn’t scratch the itch, so here we are)

(I always use so many words, let’s just have a cut now)

My general premise as, theoretically, an author: This is set in the canonverse timeline, after Luo Binghe merges the demon realm and human realm. Probably not long after, because things are still VERY much in confusion, both societies are still reeling, unrest is rampant, and Luo Binghe is only just just just starting to figure out that no, he still doesn’t feel very fulfilled. Turning two realms upside down gives Zhuzhi-lang an opportunity to finally get his hands on a dew flower seed to grow a body for Tianlang-jun (he is a patient boy). Shen Jiu is still alive, though honestly, I don’t know how much Luo Binghe bothers keeping him conscious anymore, and there’s my stage.

What I arrived here from was thinking about how I characterized Tianlang-jun for my Shen Yuan/Tianlang-jun fic, and how I’m really leaning into his romantic nature and fond, un-pushy approach to relationships. When I thought about writing those two characters dunking on a stallion novel together, I was like ‘oh noooo, he would have been so disappointed in bingge’ (which adds to an already emotionally complicated situation, what with him having a son at all) and then I was like ‘haha, being disappointed in bingge, something for him and shen jiu to bond over’

And then I was like ‘wait, but seriously--’

So, I keep seeing those shipping memes going around where people describe their favorite dynamics, and I probably won’t ever draw one myself, but a shipping vibe I love is a character in a lonely downward spiral being pulled out of the disaster zone and emotionally reattached to the world. That’s what I’m writing in the sy/tlj, honestly. A vibe I love even more, but which is even rarer, is when two characters are in those downward spirals, and latch onto each other in an intense, codependent, unhealthy way.... and somehow manage to salvage something beautiful from the situation.

Anyways, Shen Jiu and Tianlang-jun.

When I was trying to figure out how to ship them, one of the first questions when I’m sussing out an unusual pair without other fanworks is: Why do they care about each other? And the more I thought about them, the more I realized that they’re each really, really strongly in the mold of the other one’s Favorite Person, who they’d since lost. Shen Jiu is a cold, aloof, untouchable, beautiful person. Tianlang-jun is a quieter person, very pleasant, but terrifyingly strong in some ways, and soft and ruthless at unexpected times. But neither one is exactly a replacement goldfish, which is good, because losing their favorite person was pretty traumatic for them in different ways. Shen Jiu plays more mean than Su Xiyan did, and Tianlang-jun is more eccentric and romantic than Yue Qingyuan was.

Logistically, the idea that Tianlang-jun hates his son made it easy for me to bring the two of them together. In this universe especially, Tianlang-jun feels a lot of scorn towards Luo Binghe, but Luo Binghe is still very strong. He doesn’t have much in the way of weaknesses, and I think even super-traumatized, super-bitter Tianlang-jun would turn up his nose at the idea of attacking Luo Binghe through his wives. But stealing away Shen Jiu, that’s a person who Luo Binghe is almost as ““close”” to as he is to the harem, this is a person with pretty significant knowledge of Luo Binghe’s childhood, and it’s a powerful person with a major reason to hold a grudge against Luo Binghe himself. 

(I don’t think Tianlang-jun has much of a plan, necessarily, when he kidnaps Shen Jiu, the same way he didn’t have much of a plan when he was aiming to merge the worlds together. Like, yes, there’s this big goal, but why? and then what? I’m not going to go off on a digression about this, but I think it is very much a shitty, shitty plan, and that Shen Jiu is not going to be stoked once he figures out he was kidnapped from Luo Binghe because *shrug?*)

So what I want. Emotionally. Is where the two of them do kind of latch onto each other in a replacement goldfish sort of way, but where that kind of closeness really pulls them into sync in a way where they end up attached WAY more strongly than they ever intended to begin with. And also, both of them are dealing with some weird dysphoric feelings (one with four new prosthetic limbs, one with a decaying body) and are trying to power through them by using their bodies as a tool they use, not as residences they inhabit. And I think that Shen Jiu in particular is leaning into his time in the Qiu household in a bad way, and using himself as an incentive to try to nudge Tianlang-jun into doing things he wants. Love me some dysfunction like that, especially if people start having Regrets and/or Feelings later.

I think.... part of the reason I cut off my fic where I did was that Shen Jiu getting his tongue back is going to really, really, really start reshaping their dynamic. In the fic, Tianlang-jun is reading things into his deliberately-vague gestures that aren’t necessarily there, or just seeing what entertains him to see, but with a voice? Shen Jiu is a man with opinions, and he’s so, so, so completely out of fucks to give. When they start engaging with each other for real, they have to start recognizing each other as people, and not as proxyfucking substitutes for Su Xiyan and Yue Qingyuan.

Now, why I didn’t write that whole fic from the beginning is because it’s almost gotta be plot-intensive. Luo Binghe is not going to be happy that Shen Jiu is gone, he’s going to be very interested in getting him back, and if he gets his hands on him, it’s going to be... ugly. Shen Jiu is aware of that, and makes Tianlang-jun aware of that, but Luo Binghe is so hilariously overpowered that it’s going to be HARD to keep them both out of Luo Binghe’s hands without just making them quiet hermits in some corner of the world. And they can’t be quiet hermits, because otherwise Tianlang-jun would never have stolen Shen Jiu in the first place :P 

I am still really, really, really tempted to write it, because like, just imagine Luo Binghe coming for Shen Jiu in his dreams, and all that trauma crashing back into him, and Luo Binghe digging into every old emotional wound, and Shen Jiu trying to cope. And if dream abilities run in the blood, then Tianlang-jun isn’t completely useless either, and I do very much like the idea that protagonist or not, Tianlang-jun is capable of going toe to toe with his son. The picture of them fighting a battle across Shen Jiu’s dreamscape is just... *chef kiss*

(especially because if luo binghe gets into shen jiu’s head, he’ll totally use yue qingyuan against him, and if tianlang-jun gets involved, he’ll use su xiyan against luo binghe, and luo binghe will probably try to use her against him, and shen jiu is perfectly happy to try to make binghe hurt over how binghe’s dad chose him instead of binghe, and it will be so, so ugly all around)

The trouble with this would be knowing where it was heading :P The quiet hermit ending wouldn’t be a bad fit for what I want for the characters at all, but it would be hard to achieve with Luo Binghe still alive, and I still don’t know if I want him dead, or how I would even make that happen. 

But what I do want, even if it only takes shape in one-shots of scattered scenes, is two exhausted, traumatized characters curling up into each other, without any emotions, no emotions involved, definitely not, and accidentally getting super entangled in each other’s hearts. The kind of relationship with a lot of intensity and need and passion, and virtually no healthy coping mechanisms to be seen. I want ‘Separation Anxiety: The Musical.’ I want Shen Jiu with angry clinging, and extra anger if anyone mentions the clinging. I want Tianlang-jun deflecting and deflecting away from his past and his emotions. And part of the reason I’m not sure if I want Binghe dead, is that I want to see if I can get them to a point where one or both of them has a choice between hurting Binghe or helping their partner, and they choose their partner instead.

[spockandawe]

I think I want.... to talk about Luo Binghe.

Because I never ever get tired of talking about Luo Binghe, honestly. And I’m trying to mentally prod at my bingliushen au, so talking about any of those three dorks (or about 79) counts as being productive, right? XD

Anyways, I think one of my favorite things with Luo Binghe is how insecure he is, but not in the more common ways I see insecurity done in fiction. He’s skilled as SHIT, and he’s confident in his skills. He’s smart as hell too, and a dedicated learner. Shen Qingqiu even has a spot in the book where Binghe is like ‘oh, where did shizun learn this?’ and it’s from reading the novel, but Shen Qingqiu bullshits like ‘uhhh it’s from a secret book back at the sect’, and immediately is like SHIT and Binghe is like ‘hmm it must be a very, very secret book if this disciple never read it.’

And in the canon-verse, he’s got a magnetic, charming personality. He collects this MASSIVE harem of pretty ladies, he manages to charm political figures, etc., etc. He’s plenty strong as a fighter, but it sounds like he doesn’t often have to bring that to bear, because he naturally manages people well. He winds up comfortably ensconced in a position of power and with no serious threats facing him.

However, comma, he’s still massively insecure on the level of like... basic interpersonal relationships. Which sounds silly, considering the size of the canonverse harem. But even in the novel extras where canonverse bing-ge hops over to the svsss universe and talks to sy!sqq, he still craves shizun’s approval. Even though he, uh, dismembered his own shizun, and had some dream-ish encounters with this version of shizun where he popped off a couple limbs (though it didn’t stick). He finds out shizun and this luo binghe are happy together and shizun takes care of binghe, and he’s like what the FUCK, WHY DOES HE GET THIS, WHY DON’T I GET IT, I WANT IT I WANT IT THIS ISN’T FAIR--

I love that, that he has literally hundreds of women ready to dote on him in all kinds of ways, but it sincerely throws him that his old shizun, who rejected him, is willing to treat another version of him so well.

And like, in the actual novel itself, Binghe being insecure is a straight-up plot point, which is delicious. It’s such a nice build of the pieces of his backstory, starting with the way his mom gave birth to him and immediately tossed him into an icy river (it was more complicated than that, but that is the sequence of events he is aware of). And in the canonverse and novelverse, it’s a hugely formative moment when his shizun is like ‘oh, you’re half-demon? lemme just yeet you off into the abyss and tell everybody you died’

Plus in the novel, that feeling of rejection only builds and builds once he comes back, which is SO EXTRA TASTY because the rejection is actually shen qingqiu being terrified of binghe, not because he hates him. But from luo binghe’s perspective, shizun is his most important person, and shizun loathes him THIS. MUCH. it was one of my FAVORITE moments, even experienced indirectly, where luo binghe is like ‘wow, shizun would literally rather die than stay with me’ (and refuses to accept that dafghsgdj)

And!!! It’s not resolved by shizun visibly softening up to binghe either!! Even after he softens, even though it’s already a MASSIVE concession in terms of his typical reserve, that isn’t enough. He holds Binghe a little too far at arm’s length, and Binghe melts down because he concludes that it’s been made clear to him now, nobody will ever choose to stay by his side, nobody ever has chosen to stay by his side, and if anyone he cares about is offered a choice, they will choose to leave him.

Which, honestly, is also probably one of the things that draws me SUPER hard to svsss fic. Even though the story has a pretty emphatic romantic conclusion, and the extras go hard on the romance too (the marriage extra was PRECIOUS), that is some fertile-ass ground for fic to prod at in more depth. That’s the kind of emotional chasm that a novel has to bridge and move past, but maybe i want to go wallow at the bottom for a year or ten. 

It’s a relationship that carries the codependency to slightly worrying extremes, but has the story behind it to OWN that codependency. In the 100 questions extra, binghe’s most precious wish it to stay by shizun’s side for three whole days. Shen qingqiu is like ‘what, only three days?’ and binghe is like ‘but after three days, surely shizun will be tired of this disciple’ and sqq is like ‘Nope.’ It’s not as much of like... a lazy, relaxed codependency as cygate, it’s a coiled spring filled with potential energy. Which means, of course, that i also love the fics where their relationship has lasted long enough that binghe is able to relax his grip a little without feeling like he’s going to lose everything. And oh my goddddd, i love bingliushen, and seeing binghe able to relax his grip enough to let someone else in? GOD!!!! DELICIOUS! 

(and, if we’re talking about my personal fanfic ventures, having a triad introduces all kinds of new and delicious tension to the mix. as well as silly, silly things like ‘leave room for jesus’ memes, except it’s ‘leave room for binghe’)

But this kind of emotionally-driven insecurity is EXACTLY my favorite kind of flavor for a character. Like... tbh, binghe is probably the premier mxtx example of insecurity, but it’s a LOT of what draws me to jin guangyao as well, and to xue yang once he realizes Oh No, These Are Emotions. My favorite angle on hua cheng deals with this a lot too. And with jin guangyao and hua cheng especially, they are INCREDIBLY SUCCESSFUL in their personal lives, and have a good measure of their own skills, but if you ask them to evaluate themselves on an emotional level, things get much more Complicated.

I don’t really have an end point to this essay, but it’s really interesting to me just how STRONGLY svsss and luo binghe especially grabbed ahold of my heart. I hadn’t really been expecting it, and I finished the story pleased and ready to move on. But then... I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I read tgcf and erha and am working on dreamer in the spring boudoir, and still can’t stop thinking about svsss. I love fannish navel-gazing, so here we are, yet again, haha :P