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alicentral · 1 month

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This is a response to a hotd critical post about the "favouritism towards Greens in screen time ratio", and I think it's so interesting how team black also feel like they're being fucked over by the showrunners when, to me, it's blindingly obvious that it's the other way round.

Not only are the show runners villainising the greens, not the blacks, they've also gone out of their way to make the blacks seem like the badass heroes who can do no wrong, and this is the root of the problem for both team black and team green. It oversimplifies the dance and goes against the themes and message of the whole book, rendering the characters either inconsistent, one-dimensional, and worst of all, flat and boring.

Lets start off with the greens. The argument that the showrunners are "gagging on the greens" doesn't hold up when we actually think about it for more than 2 seconds.

With the source material of hotd being a fictional history book with different biases and perspectives (emphasis on different perspectives), the showrunners have cherry picked what to adapt, and have chosen to take the worst of the greens as the objective truth and erase their good moments as "green propaganda". The main example that comes to mind is aegon. Plenty of other people have talked about this in depth before, but in f&b, aegon raping a girl was a rumour spread by mushroom, a narrator with a clear black bias who wasn't even in kings landing at the time. There was no reason in adapting this rumour other than to demonise aegon, and by extension, team green. The way the scene is framed, it is clear that it was never about dyana, how the rape affected her mentally, emotionally, socially, physically. For a supposedly feminist show, dyana's rape was a throwaway scene, it never had any impact on the story further. So what was the point of the scene other than to tell the audience "look at what a monster aegon is. How can you support someone like that?" And it works.

You can see on social media, any time there's something vaguely positive about the greens, you have hoards of people comment "yeah but he's a rapist" "how can you support a rapist?", etc. It forces you to side with team black. Later in the show, the audience gets to know that aegon's dick burst "like a sausage". Why would the audience need to know this? Aegon's mutilated dick is presented as "karma" for dyana and is only meant to humiliate him. And again, after this revelation, so many people on social media were making fun of his "burnt sausage". They've made a laughingstock of aegon, and as the figurehead of team green, it's clear that we're not meant to side with team green.

Furthermore, in bastardising, and sometimes, even completely erasing the relationships between team green, the showrunners have dehumanised them and made them irredeemable villains, because, again, we were never meant to side with those who "usurped the rightful queen".

The loyalty and commitment the greens had to one another made them such compelling characters and heavily shaped their central motivations and actions. Aegon only took the crown to protect his family. Aemond, after rooks rest, never called himself a king, only lord protecter even though he knows he would've made a better king than aegon. Daeron torched the riverlands to get to his mother and sister and sacked bitterbridge as revenge for his nephew. Helaena offered up her life for her son, and chose to sacrifice maelor because she knew he wouldn't understand what was happening. Their actions may not be necessarily good (and in daeron's case, actually happen to be war crimes), and their motivations may be morally grey, but they're understandable, they're sympathetic, seeing as it was out of love and loyalty, something that 21st century society can relate to. Without these complex and compelling ties, the audience is left asking why would the greens stick together if they all seemingly can't stand each other? Why fight for aegon if he doesn't even seem to care for them? What was the point in having the crown then? As a result, the characterisations feel one-dimensional (helaena being reduced to being just an "innocent" amidst her bloodthirsty family) or inconsistent (alicent. just her entire story arc. it could've been interesting if done right, but alas, no such luck), or rushed (suddenly aemond wants to be king in his own right after defending his brother's claim at storms end).

This isn't to say that team green are perfect, far from it, but the close emotional ties and relationships could've been used to elevate the internal conflicts in the show. We could've had complex characters who aren't necessarily good, but they're family and they stick together despite their personal grievances.

And this isn't even mentioning their bonds with their dragons. Where was vhagar roaring when aemond's eye was cut out? Aegon and sunfyre had the closest bond between dragon and human and that was given to rhaenyra in the show and where is dreamfyre?

One last thing on the greens, they are presented as incompetent and not equipped to rule, which is meant to show how it would be oh so much better if rhaenyra was on the throne. Criston parading meleys' head is framed as stupid as meleys was "a beloved dragon", ignoring the fact that she murdered hundreds of smallfolk at the coronation. Alicent is presented as stupid for thinking that after rooks rest, the small council would appoint her the queen, aegon in the small council was meant to be laughed at. Of course, this begs the question, if the greens were meant to be a mess of a faction with only 3 functioning dragons and now 2 effective dragon riders, how did they hold out against the blacks for so long? It's clear that the showrunners haven't thought this through.

So yeah, i don't really understand what this person was trying to say when they say that the showrunners are "gagging on the greens" when they are demonised, humiliated and stripped of compassion. I would like to say here, nothing i've said about the greens here is new to team green fans, and so many more people have gone into more depth about this.

Lets move onto the blacks. In a conflict where no side was meant to be in the right (who has the right to rule is a beast for another day), where there were no winners, only losers, where a dynastic dispute almost tore down the entire aforementioned dynasty, the blacks are framed as the heroes, the side the audience should root for. If they come off as villainised to the audience, i don't think it was done on purpose.

Opposite to the greens, they're mistakes and flaws are glossed over. I think this is the main reason why team black falls flat as opposed to lack of screen time, which i don't really want to count.

An important example of this is blood and cheese. In f&b, blood and cheese was a horrific event which drove queen helaena mad and, importantly, was meant to murder one of aegon and helaena's sons in revenge for lucerys. A son for a son. It was always meant to be jaehaerys. By making blood and cheese all one big mistake in the show, with aemond as the real target and oops, we can't find him so jaehaerys will do, team black and rhaenyra can't be held accountable for the murder of an innocent 6 year old boy. Moreover, the fact that rhaenyra never knew or sanctioned the murder, and it was all daemon going rogue, rhaenyra is even further removed from the horrific murder of a child, because, of course, our heroine can't be responsible for anything bad, she's meant to be the one in the right!

Furthermore, condal and hess try to force the smallfolk's love of rhaenyra during the dance, contrary to the book, which serves to uphold rhaenyra's right to the throne and show how team black are the right side. During the blockade on kings landing, the smallfolk conveniently forget that she's the one causing the blockade when she sends food through (showing that she could've done that at any time). The cheering for rhaenyra and the riot makes no sense, as again, she was the one who caused the blockade in the first place.

The introduction of the prophecy also is only meant to justify any "wrong" rhaenyra and team black do. The death of the dragonseeds and the smallfolk were all in the name of a prophecy so it's ok. And this is the thing which infuriates me the most, because the prophecy could've been a fascinating aspect of team black's motivations if framed right. The idea of committing atrocities in the name of a believed divine, higher purpose could've been used to expand upon team black's character growth and internal conflict vis a vis the knights templar and the crusades. How do they feel about this? Are they even aware of what they're doing? Alas, the show itself buys into the prophecy, buys into the divine purpose and suddenly, the atrocities aren't presented as "that bad" anyways. All of that to say, the show has never intentionally villainised team black.

So we've established that as the heroes, team black can't do anything wrong, and if they do, it's for a higher purpose, so it's alright. Team black's "emotions and conflicts are made secondary" not to "disposable filler scenes of Greens", but to themselves, or rather, to rhaenyra and her right to rule. So many team black scenes were used to uplift rhaenyra to show how she is the rightful queen. The main two examples of this that stick out to me is baela rebuking jace when he rightfully questions rhaenyra's decisions and daemon's whole harrenhal arc, which serves as his redemption and so he can reaffirm his commitment to rhaenyra's right to rule. Of course it's going to be "a bore" if the main characters, the ones we're meant to be cheering haven't got anything going for them except for cheering on rhaenyra.

There's no character interaction, no character growth, no real internal conflict because from the beginning, team black has been presented as in the right and can do no wrong, so there's no room to grow, no room to develop, not because of lack of screen time. When character development almost breaks through (see: jace questioning rhaenyra), it's quickly quashed, because the audience needs to be reminded that rhaenyra is always right. There's a clear good and bad side that the show is trying to force, which doesn't work in this setting because it reinforces the idea of the divine right of kings, the idea that one person, one family is superior to all others, and that person is rhaenyra here. It undermines the idea that no one was in the right for the atrocities they committed. No one can be justified and that fundamentally, these are not good people, they're interesting characters (or could've been interesting characters), but they're not good people.

So why? Why are the blacks presented as the good side and the greens presented as evil? It all comes down to the fact that the showrunners have propagated the idea that the dance is about a woman's struggle to rule in the face of misogyny, rather than the decline of house targaryen due to their belief in targaryen exceptionalism or the consequences of the pursuit of power. Sure, feminism and misogyny is one aspect of the dance, but it's not a major driving factor. The showrunners have backed themselves into a corner here, because they trying to portray the dance through a modern feminist lens, and so they believe that they can't write women being flawed or evil, and so we get the free, liberated good side and the "misogynistic", conservative bad side.

So in conclusion, it is clear that the showrunners aren't villainising the blacks as this person believes, but the greens. In doing this, they've made a clear cut good and bad side which works to the detriment of both team black and team green. It leads team green's characterisation to be inconsistent and one-dimensional and it chokes team black from having character growth.

Listen, i don't know if team black truly have less screen time than team green, but if they do, it's not the reason why team black falls flat.

#i don't think anyone's gonna be reading this but i wanted to put my feelings out there #aegon ii targaryen #anti rhaenyra targaryen #<- just in case #it's not that i hate her it's just that i think her character was handled poorly #team green #hotd critical #hotd

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cosmic-walkers · 1 month

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i saw such a good post that discussed the racism that bethany, steve and phoebe went through, how their characters were reduced, how their plots were disrupted, how the script was cut for their scenes, etc. I wanted to share it but then OP decided to use the post to bash olivia cooke, and it just...kinda pissed me off.

Op was upset that olivia cooke had bath scenes, and somehow, connected that to the reduction of the black character's screen time. and it just really really made me upset because here you have such a good post about racism, but in the end, you don't actually care about racism, you're just using the plight of black actors to be weirdly misogynistic to olivia - an actress who herself faces more misogyny, abuse and harassment than anyone in the cast.

of all the things you can bring up - you bring up olivia cooke. you don't bring up how, since s1, the black actors plots have revolved solely around rhaenyra and daemon, you don't bring up how in s2, the baela is literally just created to be a cheerleader for jace and rhaenyra, and her only purpose is uplifting them and being their mouth piece. to the point where her relationship with her grandfather is completely written out to uplift rhaenyra.

you don't bring up how phoebe's whole character is reduced to being a nurse maid for rhaenyra's children, and then at the end, only the very end, she comes across sheep steeler - and mind you, that is nettles plot. so we can also talk about how the show runners are now just seeing black character's plots as interchangeable which is racist in itself.

the reality is that the lack of scenes and development for the black characters is greatly tied to the white characters they interact with the most. That is Rhaenyra, Daemon and Jace. You can't tell me that their narratives aren't inexplicably connected to their white counterparts, to the point where they just have no agency. From s1, that's how it's been. The show has greatly, GREATLY, reduced them in order to make space for the white characters on team black. Laena was treated terribly by Daemon to make space for Rhaenyra, season 2 things aren't better. Better exists to coddle Jace, reinforce her love for Rhaenyra, and that's it. She isn't even allowed to have a relationship with Corlys because her whole narrative is centered around Rhaneyra. Corlys himself gets shamed for mourning LMAO,

There are certain reasons that Black characters are shelved, there is certainly racism and erasure that comes into play. But if you looked at the show, and you are seriously sitting here and just blaming Olivia Cooke - an actress who faces misogyny and abuse by the general public - then you don't actually care about Black characters.

#bethany antonia #steve toussaint #phoebe bridgers #baela targaryen #corlys velaryon #rhaena targaryen #alicent hightower #olivia cooke #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #jacerys velaryon

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elsblunt · 9 months

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please write something stupidly fluffu abt ellie having a bad day or something and then reader cuddling w her and comforting her .. its always the other way round and ellie needs more love!!

we need more ellie being taken care of!!!!!!!

it was late at night, the room lit up by a flickering candle that smelt like vanilla that was gifted to you from an old lady in jackson. the room was cozy, ever since you moved in with ellie there were new crochet blankets draped over couches and beds and chairs, new trinkets and decorations scattered throughout the place you both shared.

ellie had a late night patrol that day and you sat on the couch, reading a book while humming some tune.

the sound of a doorknob twisting echoed throughout the room as you sat up, looking towards the girl who entered the room, her face illuminated by a warm glow. she looked tense, body trembling slightly with clothes dirtied up with blood and god knows what.

you frowned slightly at the sight. watching as she slipped off her boots and set them to the side and slowly taking off her jacket, hanging it on a rack that contained the shared jackets and coats,

it took a second for her to calm down, walking towards the couch with a weak smile. “hey, baby..” ellie rasped, kissing your forehead.

“hi els, you okay?” brows furrowed and eyes scanning her body, you rubbed her shoulder softly.

she nodded, scratching her ear. you knew those movements, she always had these little anxiety motions she did when nervous or uncomfortable, and of course you noticed. “hm.. let’s get you a bath, that sound good?” you smile softly, kissing her cheek and standing.

clothes were thrown to the corner of the small bathroom, ellie standing to the side as you turn the nob and adjust the water to a nice temperature and filled the tub.

she got in, laying between your legs as you wet her hair and grabbed the bottle of shampoo, scrubbing it into her auburn locks.

these moments stitched ellie’s heart up, being able to do intimate things with you she was never able to do with any people she had met. to have a kind moment without it having to be sexual, it calmed her. ellie’s shoulders fell and a sigh slipped from her lips when you massaged her head and ran a rag over her body and the scratches that littered her skin. running your fingers over her tattoo, the matching bracelets you both had, her birthmarks, everywhere.

it was quiet except for your humming of one of ellie’s songs she showed you one time and the sound of water splashing. it was actually on your first date when the two went to stargaze. she had brought her guitar and played you one of ‘ellie’s originals’ and it’s just stuck ever since.

a towel raked down ellie’s frame as you led her to the bed in only her underwear, checking out some of her scars she had gotten. her once trembling body now settled to a slight shake, the one she usually had. the tense shoulders and neck now calmed.

“what happened on patrol, baby?” you ask with slight concern lacing your tone. it must’ve been something worrying if she is this quiet and shook. ellie seemed to take a sharp breath when you asked, hesitating slightly.

“…me and jesse were on this trail, and we saw this clicker— runner. but it was a kid,” the green eyed girl paused, swallowing. “and i could hear his cries, you know? when they’re fighting the infection. he came at me i couldn’t kill him, i couldn’t.” ellie looked down in shame, voice shaking as she spoke softly.

though most didn’t see it, she had a sweet soul. under her tough demeanor and furrowed brows that you had to constantly remind her to relax. “the— the blood is his.” ellie’s voice minimized to a soft murmur at the end, playing with her fingers.

“that’s okay, els. don’t worry okay? doing this probably put him out of his misery, you did good. it’s okay..” you reassured, standing up and hugging her. ellie’s head rested against your stomach as you stroked her wet head, feeling warm breaths brush against your skin. “cmon, lay down.”

a smile tugs at your lips as she crawls to her side of the bed, covering her body with a blanket that was covered in small stars and space symbols. you follow, laying next to the girl.

ellie’s head rests on your bare chest, matching her breathing to everytime your chest rose and fell, listening to your heartbeat. the two girls legs are entangled, skin on skin. you pressed soft kisses to her temple, forehead, hair, everywhere. she calmed at your touch everytime, only yours.

i feel like this was actually decent😊😊😊😊thank u for the request!!

#🎀 ⋆·˚ ༘ *#𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚'𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬.#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #tlou2 #ellie tlou2 #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams fic #ellie the last of us

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sixofsol · 10 months

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what upsets me most about this is how netflix treats their creatives. they wrote the spin-off TWO YEARS ago and have left their writers and crew and cast and fans in the dark. cancelled the show 8 months after the release of s2, after having used sab and soc for engagement. then they blame the cancellation on the strike, when the show runner of sab eric heisserer was one of WGAs negotiators during the strike. some of the cast has been finding out about the cancellation on social media. like no matter what ur opinions on sab are i feel so bad for leigh and the cast and crew who have had this opportunity to tell this story they all love and care for taken away,

#six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse

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pedge-page · 2 months

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I’m absolutely IN. LOVE. with ur Joel/baby Sarah/wife!Reader masterlist and all their wacky adventures 😍🤪! When u have the time and if u feel drawn to the suggestion, I hope to see reader and Joel have a cute hubby & wifey moment (either before or after Sarah, ur pick) and not just Joel having high blood pressure all the time 🤣. Have an awesome weekend!!! 😘

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: My Wife, My Love, My Life

notes: thank you for the request! Decided to make this one after Sarah is born but the focus towards the end is Joel and Reader.

Warnings: Oral m!receiving, blowjob, facial, very brief unprotective penetration

18+ ONLY

- - - -

You didn’t ever think this day would come. Not now, not so soon at least, but certainly you had hoped it would never come.

Yet as you packed your suitcase, your eyes welled with tears. Your bedroom, the one you’d shared with your husband for years for every single night you two were together, was about to be foreign. No longer sharing his warm embrace, his caresses and morning kisses.

You were leaving him behind.

Memoriese placate your mind, routines and dents of the bed were about to be disrupted for the first time, and your heart ached at the idea.

Worst yet, you were leaving your own daughter, your sweet little angel who was not even one year old. She’s too young, should you even be separated from her at this age? How badly would this scar her? How much would she remember her own mother, who showed nothing but love and care and smiles for her entire existence, how much would that penetrate her memory of you as you abandon your family—

“Are you crying’ again?” Joel asks from the doorway. “It’s only a week!”

You sniffle and toss your blazer into your bag, avoiding him. “I don’t wanna go.”

You’re just traveling for a brief work trip just for the week then you’ll be back this time next Sunday, but STILL. All of those things hold true(ish), and it still hurts to have to say goodbye—

“Would you relax, honey. Christ.”

Even if your husband doesn’t care, you know Sarah will feel the pain of her own Momma leaving her behind with no reason she can possibly come to understand—

“You are so clingy and needy—“

JOEL WOULDYOUSHUTTHEFUCKUP I'MHAVINGAMOMENT, DAMNIT.

You sigh heavily and zip up the bag before lugging it to the ground. He raises his eyebrow as you storm by, his arms folded with a bemused smirk.

“Oh it’s funny to you? Guess you do want me gone—“

“It’s a week,” he reminds you firmly, his hands rubbing along bothy your arms. “It’s gonna be like a vacation for you!”

His words of encouragement suck ass because your ideal vacation is with your family. No, this was more like hell.

And Joel seemed to be loving every minute of it.

“Don’t forget ya moisturizer, oh and I packed ya some snacks for the plane. Plus some pepper spray, which you gotta put in your checked bag cuz they ain’t gonna let ya through security. Your passport is in your purse already…”

He was practically ushering you straight out the door. Running around the house like road runner, athering everything ahead of time, getting your little carry on and security tag and even breakfast quickly made for you to ‘make you not worry about a thing’.

No. The fucker was getting rid of you for sure, and glad of it—

“Stop sitting there with that face,” he says.

You sit down and shove your eggs in your mouth. “What face?” You snap.

“The ‘he’s intentionally trying to get rid of you’ one you got on right now. Just want ya to be prepared is all.”

You quickly wipe your expression but scowl at him when he has his back turned.

After breakfast, you kissed your baby goodbye. She was still sleeping soundly in her crib. Joel supervised you from the hall to make sure you didn’t try to sneak her into your purse so you could take her with you.

“Ok you have enough milk in the freezer and some already thawed in the fridge when she wakes up. You have teething rings, you know how to heat her bottle, you have her burp blanket—“ you list each one on your fingers as he backing you up to the car.

“Yes,yes,yes,yes! Honey, I got it all—“

“I bought groceries already for the week —“

“And if ya missed anything, I can go grab it myself. I can cook, you know that. Got ya in bed with my food before so—“

“Joel I’m serious.” You stop him. but as you think it over, you know he’s right. He’s like a pro at taking care of you and Sarah. You’re just trying to avoid the feeling that she’s gonna miss you gone.

Maybe she won’t even notice you're gone…

Joel catches your eyes faltering, lips trembling as water shines in your eyes.

“Nonono! It’s gonna be okay.” He hugs you, his soft hands securely stroking your back until he can feel you breathe slowly again.

“I know I know. I’m just. I’m gonna miss you both.”

“The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back,” he hums reassuringly.

You pull away and frown. “Definitely looking forward to getting rid of me—“ you seethe under your breath.

“OH GET IN THE DAMN CAR.”

Joel just got the text from you that you on time and safely boarded onto the flight. He knows you’ll be out of contact with cell service for the majority of the week since you were going to be out of the states, so he’s glad you were able to message him this last time.

And while no he was NOT glad you were leaving, he wasn’t complaining either. You needed some alone time. You were preggo monster for 9 months and now non stop mom ever since. He could tell from the bags under your eyes and short temper that you needed a little vacation. It didn’t matter if you realized it or not. This conference was a blessing in disguise. There would only be a few hours a day of work stuff, then you could go to the pool, the gym, get a massage, anything you wanted was included.

And he’d get some fantastic quiet time without your nagging just for a little. A mini vacation for him too for the first time in…well, ever.

A win-win for you both.

Sarah was just rousing from her sleep, stretching her arms wide with a big yawn and wiggly toes. He sends a quick pic of her with her hazy eyes before scooping her up.

“Ready for some food, girlie?” He nuzzles his face into her chest, and she giggles happily.

It takes probably 5 minutes of Sarah sucking down her bottle in her high chair on her own before she’s looking around the strangely vacant house.

“Mum-ma?” She asks curiously, just as Joel returns to dump some cereal on her tray.

“Mommy’s left to go go on a trip. Just you and me this week, kid.” He rubs her head affectionately.

Joel really didn’t expect Sarah to fully grasp anything he says, but evidently she did understand “mommy” and “left” and that was it.

Her face scrunches up and she immediately launches into the loudest cries known to man.

Joel was prepared for this. “Okay, okay Sarah, I know, you miss Momma,” he grabs a host of items: her pacifer, her bunny stuffed animal, her favorite chocolate that you told Joel she couldn’t have but he whips out for energencies like this. Even with his smiling face level with her pained one, wiggling each item excitedly, nothing seemed to be doing the trick. If anything, she wailed longer and harsher, kicking the table and slamming her bottle down until it rattled to the floor.

He eventually picks her up and tries rocking and bouncing, but she just shakes her head furiously. Her face is all red, fat tears dampening her little cotton onesie, with one hand scrunching his shirt and pushing him off. “You get this drama queen shit from your mom,” he tuts.

He sets her down on the floor, and Sarah immediately starts crawling towards the garage door, pointing to Joel to open it.

“She ain’t there, baby. She’ll be back—“

She screams harder, aggressively patting the door and looking back at him like she’s pleading.

He scoops her up again and takes her to the living room. He’s running out of ideas to get her to settle. Checked her diaper just in case, rejected any food, all toys were no hope. He was gonna lose his hearing at this rate.

Joel thought it would take at least the rest of the day before she would notice but this shit might be harder than he thought. If she kept huffing and puffing to keep taking a scream, or shed any more waterfall of tears, he’d have to take her to the hospital for dehydration and shortness of breath.

Sarah crawls over to the couch and yanks on the dangling blanket, pulling down pillows all over top her. He chuckles as she disappears into the mound, but can see her little form navigating from the top. Finally, the sandworm baby stops moving, and he notices her crying desist.

“Oh shit. I already killed her.”

He gently pulls pillows away until he finds Sarah with her face down, diaper bum up and her nose buried in your favorite blanket. She was smelling your scent, and that seemed to calm her almost immediately. Joel sits down and pulls the blanket free, and Sarah panics, reaching out for it desperately. He hands it back to her, and she grips it tightly, pushing her face into the soft coziness. It was still slightly warm with your body heat. Since you use it every time you’re in the living room, it smelled exactly like you.

Sarah takes a deep breath, clearing her cries. She crawls into Joel’s lap and tugs as much of it as she can along with her, sitting down between his thighs and cuddling the blanket around her.

Joel grabs the other end and smells it, and your scent floods his brain with endorphins. “I miss her too, bubba.” He leans and plants a kiss on her head, giving her the pinky back into her now accepting mouth.

She continued to play with her toys on the floor, blanket right next to her everywhere she went. Sometimes, she would just pause and nuzzle her face into it, sighing deeply and then continuing. Even Spoon was feeling the effects. Curled up by the door, whining occasionally, but otherwise just guarding the entrance, waiting for your return. Joel even pitied the big girl and allowed her on the bed so she could curl up into your spot.

Sarah was on her best behavior as much as she could be. She only cried when she was hungry or needed changing. She understood there’s no humor in bullying Joel unless you were here to punish him.

Things were going great so far for him.

And Joel felt pretty relaxed too. He could catch up on some programs, get some work done, go to bed when he needed it. It was peaceful.

But it wasn’t until a few nights in that he noticed life wasn’t as dandy. And it wasn’t Sarah that was making it evident.

It was him.

As you board your flight back home, nothing brings you more peace of mind than imagining walking back into your house.

Joel was right, this was somewhat of a mini vacation. And while it was nice, the bed wasn’t right. Didn’t matter how much money they spent on the king sized memory foam body conforming mattress with silk sheets and pressure release pillows. It just wasn’t the same as the 10 year old spring queen sized mattress that you and Joel had been cramming your asses on since you moved in together and the flat-no shape pillow that you had since you were in college. No amount of Michelin star chef prepared meals could match Joel’s empanadas and rice.

There wasn’t even anything to compare to being curled up with Joel and Sarah on the couch, watching tv until you both fell asleep in his strong, secure arms.

So in the end, you were right (as always). And damned be Joel, but you wouldn’t be listening to him ever again. If you have to go on a trip again, you’ll just bring them along or quit your job. Easy peasy.

Part of you wonders if he was still having a superb time away from you. Doing all kinds of work around the house without you nagging or asking for dinner, or having him fetch a billion snacks for you because you’re too lazy to get up, or rub your feet or your back or your calves or your clit, or getting a blanket or turning on the fan…damn you were annoying as well. And he does it all. He’s probably gonna see you walk in and sigh disappointingly, joking that he wished it lasted longer. You wonder if he and Sarah now morphed into best of pals, and she no longer considered you her #1.

Oh fuck, I’m gonna start crying on the damn plane.

By the time you landed, you couldn’t get in touch with Joel. you had received a text selfie image of him and Sarah smiling with the caption “Can’t wait to see you!”. You smile to yourself. God, you’ll risk getting a ticket just to speed home right now.

1.5 hours after you drive home, you open the familiar door. The aroma of home surrounds you, and you couldn’t be happier.

As does a squealing baby being carried by your big ass husband, who both immediately attack you out of thin hair with warm hugs. Spoon wags excitedly beneath you.

You nuzzle yourself into Joel’s neck just as Sarah nuzzles herself into your chest. The four of you stand there for moment, eyes closed and silently grateful.

And wafting.

Joel and Sarah’s noses and Spoon's especially were twitching and sucking in air against your skin and clothes, more so than hugging you.

“Oh are we…we are smelling me…” you say matter-of-factly but a little confused. Shit do I smell that bad??

He’s about to say something when you snatch Sarah and begin talking to her. She comfortably hands on your hip as you two chat (well, more like you chat and she babbles excitedly but you return the audience). It was late, and as you rocked her to sleep in your arms, you set her down in her crib, rubbing her belly softly as she soothed to sleep.

You close the door behind you when another hand gently clasps yours.

Joel doesn’t say anything, which surprises you. He’s more stoic than usual. He takes you down the hall and into your bathroom and turns on the tub.

He starts shucking off your clothing without a word. Shirt over head, then bra clasp, pants unzipped and dragged down. you can’t even stop him, he’s so gentle yet determined. and truthfully, you didnt have it in you to give him return home sex he’d probably been missing.

“Joel,” you say softly, and he shivers. “Um, I’m a little tired, but I promise tomorrow I will—“

“Tub,” he commands.

You tilt your head in confusion but step into the basin, now stark naked. The water is just perfect. You sink in until it’s level with your chest. Joel mixes in some suds and pulls his mini stool next to the edge, and begins massaging your shoulders.

“Oh honey you don’t need to do that,” you insist. “I got a massage when I was there…”

He doesn’t say anything but keeps going. And it’s not until he really finds your sensitive areas that you realize you do, in fact, need this. You sigh contently as he works the particularly troublesome knots in your shoulders, then gently over your neck. His hands, god you miss those hands, feel like heaven. After a few moments of you letting out soft moans, he lathers your expensive ‘for rare occasion’ shampoo and begins slathering it in your hair. With exceptional care, he works his fingers in circles, and you can feel your eyes going cross eyed with the thorough job he’s spoiling you with. Your whole body feels relaxed like a warm sheet of butter folding into a decadent pastry. You simmer and sink down even lower, indicating you’re incredibly tranquil.

He still remains silent. You can’t see him as you face the opposite end of the bathroom. Just the two of your breathing falling in sync.

Once finished, he pats you dry with fresh and warm towels, carries you bridal style to your bed.

You think now maybe he’s gotten you ready and pliant so he can rail your back out of place, but instead, he lays you on your side of the bed and tucks you into the sheets.

He tosses his socks and plows into the bed on his side, crawling up to you and putting himself face down into your chest and neck. He takes the biggest, longest breath possible through his nose before letting it out with a satisfied hum. Closing his eyes, Joel allows himself to relax, surrounding himself with you, his hand protectively over your stomach and absent-mindedly swishing back and forth with his thumb.

You giggle, smelling his sweet brown curls and rolling his hair through your fingers. “Did my clingy needy husband miss me?” You tease.

He’s already snoring and drooling into your breasts.

Joel’s having an out of body experience right now, and he can’t tell if he’s dreaming. There’s a fantastic, tingling, pleasurable feeling dancing along his entire body. He stirs slightly, letting out an audible groan. Something is warm against him, wet and moving, and it feels like a massage from heaven. He can’t exactly piece together what it is, still floating through his subconscious trying to rouse him awake, but still so blissfully relaxed he can’t quite fully awaken yet. He was out so deep last night in your embrace. Surrounded by your presence, your smell, your touch and breath and love and body.

His lashes flutter open, and the ceiling blur takes shape before him. He’s lying on his back in the bed, with something heavy against his lower half. sounds make their way to his ear, his own rugged gasps getting louder as the sensations more clearly are identified, sending signals of euphoria to his brain. He rasps out, eyes widening, and groggily tilts his chin down to see you; your mouth sloppily taking his hardened cock over and over, slurping the saliva and coating him with your talented tongue. You suck on his tip before working down his massive length, your other hand expertly jerking in rhythm what you can’t fit.

He chokes, still unsure if what he’s seeing and feeling is a dream. He hopes it’s not a dream.

The sounds from his throat cause you to peer up. A slight warm, loving grin tugging at your lips to make eye contact with him as you give him the morning blow job of his life.

And that does it for him. He yelps, stomach tightening before hot ropes of his seed shoot out of his tip like a canon. You bare down and suction your lips to his pulsing dick, feeling each throb deposit his sticky hot cum into your mouth. You gulp and gulp over and over, not nearly quick enough as his cream overwhelms you and bulges out of your cheeks. Even after you’ve coughed, his cock doesn’t stop, splashing all over your face in ribbons, one after the other, as he lets out drawn out moans, eyes rolled back and head arched into the pillow. He’s seeing stars, ruining your face like a mud mask of his spent. By the time he’s finished, he looks back down to see your slightly shocked expression, mouth agape with cum pouring down your forehead and eyelids, cheeks and chin, back onto his stomach.

He’s struggling to return from cloud nine. Brain hasn’t been this foggy even when high and drunk. He feels like sinking into the mattress and retiring from life.

You finally chuckle at his current state. “You didn’t get off all week did you?” He shakes his head side to side, eyes closed. You crawl up next to him, using his bedside tissues to wipe your face clean.

“I hope you liked it, I couldn’t wait for you to wake up—“

“Quit your job,” he says quietly.

He opens his eyes and rolls over to kiss your forehead and lie on top of you, his body conforming to yours. You feel his face nudged into your neck again as his back relaxes. You give him a confused look.

“I’ll take on extra projects,” he continues plainly. “Work extended nights. Just don’t leave us like that again.”

You cup his face in your hands to look at you. He’s sincere, kissing your palms and rubbing his cheek into your touch like a puppy.

You can’t help but smile.

“You missed me that much? Thought it was a mini vacation!”

He shakes his head. “It sucked,” he pouts like a child, hugging you tighter.

It was by the 4th night in that Joel realized it.

He prepared his solo meal quietly, served Sarah her mushy food quietly, and sat down at the table quietly. With only her little happy coos here and there, and him blowing on his own meal, he never realized just how quiet everything is without you.

Your chair was empty. Your side of the bed was cold. The house was so vacant without one person that it almost just feels like a building rather than a home. He realized he just gets up, feeds and talks to Sarah and spends time with her, then as soon as she’s in bed, he’s just. Existing. There. With nothing to do. He loved taking care Sarah, but she was pretty self sustaining. She was doing a hell of a lot better than he was. He tried busying himself with housework or TV or construction projects he had been wanting to do, but it all just felt like work. Like everything he did for himself was a chore.

He didn’t want to do anything if you weren’t there to see him by the end of the day.

He remembers when he used to thrive when he was living by himself. But he also realized… he hasn’t lived by himself in years. Since before he met you.

“You know I can’t quit my job, right?”

He grumbles but nods into your breasts.

“And I don’t want you taking on extra projects. I want to see you at the end of the day too. Tell you this: if I get another conference, either my family comes, or I don’t go. Deal?”

“Deal.” He kisses your chest before shimmying his way up your body until he’s fully over top you. “Otherwise I’ll tear your boss a new asshol—“

“Joel.”

“I’m just saying. Everyone wants to keep ya from me—“

“Joel.”

“N’ as your husband and baby daddy, I have a right to say where you put that ass every night and it should be right up against my di—“

“Just kiss me already.”

“Yes Ma’am.” He captures your lips with his hungrily. You feel his knees nudging yours apart, slotting himself perfectly between your bodies. The freshly hardened tip of his cock breaches your entrance, but Joel doesnt even let you gasp. His lips remain sealed on yours.

He wasn’t going to let you get away that easily again. Not even for a second.

- - - -

Taglist: @harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow

#joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #the last of us fanfiction #last of us smut #last of us fanfiction #joel miller fan fic #the last of us fic #last of us fic #tlou smut #the last of us smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel dealing with preggo wife

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floresierss · 3 months

Note

if you’re taking requests can I request smth cute and fluffy with tall broad bf!anton with short 5ft reader? A lot of inspiration from lovely runner but just I can imagine a lot of cute piggybacks and you hanging off his bicep as he tries to lift you or you needing to literally climb him to kiss him while he laughs and just boops ur nose/ kisses your nose before picking you up with one hand and kissing you properly

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . ANTON LEE X GN!READER

masterlist. nav. ask.

WORD COUNT: 751

TAGS 🏷️: no tws! just fluff

AUTHORS NOTE: thank u for the request! i hope it suits what you wanted but it was kinda hard to write from the perspective of a 5ft reader cause i’m 6’2 but that’s a story for another day 😭😭. i also looked up lovely runner scenes on tiktok i might just end up watching the show it looks so cutewew hehe. i also made this one gn cause it wasn’t specified! :<

You glance up at Anton, who’s easily over a foot taller than you, with a mischievous glint in your eye. He notices and his cheeks redden slightly, already guessing what you’re up to.

“Piggyback?” you ask, bouncing on your toes.

Anton shyly scratches the back of his neck, but he can't help the smile that tugs at his lips. “Okay,” he agrees softly, turning around and bending slightly so you can hop on. As soon as you’re securely wrapped around his back, he straightens up, making you feel like you’re on top of the world.

“Hold on tight,” he says, his voice gentle. He takes a few playful steps, and you can feel the slight tremor of his laughter through his back. It makes you giggle, the sound music to his ears.

As he carries you around, you rest your chin on his shoulder, whispering in his ear, “You’re the best, you know that?”

Anton’s blush deepens, and he mumbles, “I try.” His shyness makes your heart flutter. He’s so strong yet so bashful, a combination that you find utterly endearing.

As you’re hanging off his bicep, he effortlessly lifts you up and down, his face a mix of concentration and bashful amusement. “You’re so strong!” you exclaim, marveling at his strength.

Anton’s cheeks flush a deeper shade of red. “Uh, thanks,” he murmurs, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Gotta keep up with you.”

You grin and decide to go for a kiss, but you can barely reach his chin. With a playful huff, you start climbing him like a tree, causing him to laugh nervously. “Need some help there?” he teases, his shyness evident in his voice.

Finally managing to reach his face, you give his nose a quick peck. Anton’s eyes widen slightly, and his blush deepens as he leans down, brushing his lips against yours with a tentative tenderness.

With one hand, he lifts you up effortlessly, pulling you close. His other hand gently cups your cheek, and he gives you a proper kiss, his shyness melting away in the warmth of the moment. The kiss is soft and sweet, lingering just enough to make your heart race.

When he pulls away, he boops your nose, making you giggle. “Got you,” he whispers, his smile shy but genuine as you snuggle into his arms.

The day continues with more playful antics. You challenge him to a game of tag in the park, where he purposely lets you catch him, his laughter ringing through the air every time you tackle him to the ground. He’s always careful, making sure you land softly in the grass, his protective nature showing through his shy demeanor.

After the playful run, you both collapse onto a blanket you brought along for a picnic. Anton sits cross-legged, looking a bit nervous as he reaches for the basket. “I, um, made your favorite sandwiches,” he says, glancing at you with a shy smile.

Your eyes light up with delight. “You did? That’s so sweet of you, Anton!” You lean over and give him a quick peck on the cheek, causing his blush to return in full force.

As you eat, you chat about anything and everything, the conversation flowing easily despite Anton’s occasional bashful pauses. His shyness doesn’t stop him from listening intently to every word you say, his eyes never leaving your face.

After the picnic, the sun begins to set, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange. You both decide to head back home, but not before you ask for one more piggyback ride. Anton obliges, and you hop on his back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“Ready to go y/n?” he asks, his voice soft and warm.

“Ready,” you reply, resting your head against his.

As he carries you home, you feel the gentle sway of his movements, the steady beat of his heart against your back. It’s in these quiet moments that you realize just how much you cherish him, his shy smiles, his gentle strength, and the way he always makes you feel so special.

When you finally reach your doorstep, Anton carefully sets you down. You turn to him, standing on your tiptoes to give him one last kiss for the night. “Thank you for today, Anton. I had the best time.”

He smiles, a soft, shy smile that makes your heart melt. “Me too,” he says, leaning down to kiss your nose one more time. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you whisper, watching as he walks away, grinning.

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ja3hwa · 2 months

Text

♡ 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 | 𝐂.𝐒 ♡

【Synopsis】 : All you've ever known is to run. And now you have someone worth standing still for.

『Word count』 : 920

-> Genre: Dystopian. Ateez Lore-ish. Hint of Romance. SFW

Pairing: Freedomfighter!San x Runner!Reader

[Warnings] : Swearing. Government bullshit. Dystopian and apocalyptic themes. Hint of past love. Being in trouble by cops and what nots, hehe.

Note: I was cleaning out my drafts and found this old thing. I had written it when Guerrilla first dropped. So I decided to finish it off (kinda). idk if I'd ever make more. But who knows, maybe i will, hehe. Also love to mention no clue what past me was trying to write. So enjoy ♡♡

Networks: @blossomnet @atzhouse @wonderlandnet

Masterlist | Navigation

Running was something you were born to do. It was like the moment you could get your feet on the ground you ran. Skip the crawling or wobble walking towards the open arms of your parents, being so proud to see their baby take their first steps. No, you decided running the was an option you would choose the minute you were able. And this is how you ended up in this exact predicament. Running…

Running from one of the most feared governmental dick heads. You had one job, stealing some documents about the tall walls that surrounded the large city. Simple right? The person who hired you wanted to expose the truth about the government. The truth, that the apocalypse only happened because someone in a top-secret lab wasn’t careful enough. And now society needed to live in large walled cities and towns to protect themselves from the wastelands. No one knew much about the outer border, let alone what indeed was outside the safety of the walls. And that’s where your employer comes in. A man that went by left eye. Personally, you thought it was a strange name, but you aren't getting paid for judging names. You hopped over another building roof, just barely managing to shake two of the big guards that chased you. But one was still hot on your tail and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t seem to lose him.

You leapt over another roof before sliding down a fire escape staircase. You were in a dark alley with the only lights coming from the street at the end of it. You needed a place to hide cause even though you were born to run, you really needed a rest.

“Hey In Here.” A mellow voice called from behind a metal door that happened to be hidden among the wall decore, seeming to camouflage itself. You thought for a moment. Either you keep running and potentially get caught or you risk going with the strange voice behind an even stranger door.

“I think they went this way.” You hear the two guards you lost minutes ago call out from above.

Stranger it is.

You ran to the door, quickly slipping inside before anyone could see you. The tall person who was behind the voice closed the large metal entrance, locking it with a bunch of padlocks and chains. He had a hood on to keep his face covered, but a sense of ease washed over you being around him. His presence somewhat familiar.

“Quick, this way.” He guided to down the small hall, his hand gripping your wrist so you wouldn’t lose one another in the maze of twists and turns. His palm was tough like he worked with them every day. Tattoos travelled up his arm, disappearing under the large pastel blue cloak he was wearing. He was tall, dark and mysterious, you’ll give him that.

“Okay, we should be safe here. The others are out right now, so I… I gotta lot of explaining when they get back.” His light harded chuckle made a wave of relief pour over you. His cloak slipped off his face, showing his beautiful features to you. Your breath finally escaped from your lungs, you hadn't even realised you were holding it until this very moment. His was indeed familiar, and it was only until he smiled in your direction that you figured out who he was.

“San? As in Choi San?” You gasped. His expression told you he was just as surprised as you were, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He avoided eye contact for a moment, trying to think of something to say.

“You remember me?”

“Remember you! You were—” Your heart screamed for you to say the love of my life, best friend, the only person who stuck by me when we were in the orphanage. But your brain decided it was best to avoid awkwardness since it had been over seven years since you’d last seen him. “You were my friend. Of course, I remember you."

“Well, I’m glad I kept an impression on you.” He smiled, showing a calm and cool nature. Even though his heart was about to jump out of his chest and he swears the world just became fuzzy, making it harder for him to stand. He missed you ever since those masked guards took you away to start your higher-up training. He didn’t think he’d ever see you again after that. But here you were, still the same young troublemaker. But only this time, you were even more beautiful than before, how that was possible he couldn’t describe it.

You looked around the large room seeing a poster board with photos of the government agents that were on your list to avoid. Papers riddled with notes and scribbles about information. All of this information was similar to what you had just stolen. The info you had was just a puzzle piece. It finally clicked what San had been up to all these years, making you smile with glee.

"So I didn't think the Choi San would become a freedom fighter..." You turned to look at him again.

"And I didn't think you'd become a runner." His expression matched your own, except his hid concern. Out of anything you could have become, you became a runner. Someone who gathers intel or bounty for a price. He could say he was surprised, but it still raised one question.

who did you work for?

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fake-married-my-dead-fiance · 4 months

Text

Okay so another nice thing about Lovely Runner, no ridiculously evil parents.

Sun-jae's dad is a bit too invested in his son's swimming career, but that's a pretty standard parent fault and he does get past it. Also, Sun-jae did enjoy swimming so it's not like he was forced. His father is shown as immensely proud of his son and happy to see his son happy.

Sol's mom is caring for a mother with dementia and a daughter in a wheelchair in the original timeline. No notes. She's a heroine.

Even Tae-sung's dad, who I believe is a single parent as well, he's flawed for sure but his main problem is probably that he doesn't have much time for Tae-sung since he has to work. And we do see him show up for moral support in the final episode. He's not some abusive villain, just someone who isn't providing what his son actually needs.

I mean it's a Kdrama so obviously half of the parents need to be dead, but I love that they were just regular parents with flaws who were trying their best.

#lovely runner #kdramas always be killing off parents #no orphans in this show though!#everyone had at least one parent!

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samkerrworshipper · 11 months

Text

all yours | leah williamson x reader x lia wälti

when r finds out that their two bestfriends (and secret crushes) have gotten together on a trip they go into a meltdown of feeling left out and unloved - lw2 sort them out and show them just how loved they are by the two of them

just fluff, angst, confessions of love, lack of taking care of themselves and zero editing or proof reading because it’s 1am rn and i have to be at school at 8 ☠️

Lia and Leah. The indomitable couple, that had very quickly become the talk of the soccer community. They were a power couple, the swiss and english captain surprising the whole women's football community when announcing their relationship. You were happy for them, the two women were your best friends in the whole world, so when the photos from their recent trip during a international break to Ibiza had popped up you should have been ecstatic, but for some reason you couldn’t help but feel a pang of something else.

The two women were your best friends in the entire world, but you also harboured feelings for both of the women, and now that they were romantically involved you couldn’t help but feel a little bit gutted at the idea that when they returned to Arsenal for the season it would be the two of them together as a couple, and not the three of you as best friends. You were obviously happy for them, sending them a flurry of congratulations and expressions of your happiness about them getting together, but you couldn’t help the feeling in your gut that was almost making you jealous of what the two women had.

You spent the few days left of the break confined to your flat, in too much of a slump to go any further from your bed then to your home gym that was in your spare bedroom.

When the break ended you forced yourself to gather up the guts to return to the Arsenal training ground, pulling together every part of you just to make it to training. When you walked into the change rooms they were already full of your teammates, all of them in various states of undress and engaging in a series of activities. Leah and Lia were the first people to recognise your presence, calling out for you to come and sit with them over near Leah’s cubby, but you ignored them, walking straight towards your own. You didn’t even make it to the locker though before Katie was sliding down on the bench directly in front of you, stopping you from slinging your kit bag into your cubby.

“What’s got you down today, y/l/n?”

Her voice was so playful, everything that you normally loved about the woman, but today you had no tolerance. You’d hardly slept, you’d been too tired to make your morning coffee or breakfast so you were an uncaffeinated grump.

You shoved Katie out of the way, with a quick push, moving her far enough out of your way that you were able to slide your bag into the cubby and begin to strip off your tracksuit and hoodie so you could throw on your training gear.

“Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or was it somebody else's bed?”

It was in Katie’s nature to be annoying, she was one of your best friends, an older sister to you in a lot of ways and normally you had quite a lot of tolerance for her prodding, but today your sleep deprived form wasn’t having any of it.

“Fuck off Katie.”

Your voice was cutthroat, as you tugged your Arsenal hoodie over your head and replaced it with your training kit. You then followed with toeing off the runners you had on and sliding your track pants down your legs, letting them pool at your ankle before stepping out of them and throwing them into your cubby.

“Ooh, she’s fiery today, you can tell me darl, who’s the lucky lady or lass?”

You rolled your eyes, biting down on your tongue to stop you from saying anything seriously offensive to the older woman, for your own safety.

You pulled your training shorts up and then sat down on the bench, pulling your socks and cleats out of your bag.

“Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but nobody, so go fuck with somebody else because you are getting jack out of me this morning, fuck off.”

It was a lot of expletives, something unusual for you. You didn’t like to swear, in fact off the pitch you rarely swore, but today you felt so on edge, so out of place. There were tears brimming behind your eyes, tears that would never fall but burned your eyes all the same. Katie looked like she was going to say something else but Kim became your saving grace, getting in between the two of you and tugging Katie over to her own cubby, leaving you on your own.

You made quick work of your socks and cleats, slipping them easily over your feet, the part you struggled with was your laces, your hands shaking too badly to even get a grip on the fine pieces of polyester. It was embarrassingly humbling, your brain very quickly becoming aggravated at your inability to complete the one basic task. You glared down at your laces, ready to curse them out as well when your hands were grabbed by someone else's. You froze immediately, looking up to locate the source of the hands that were binding your hands from continuing to fail at the task they had.

You frowned a little bit at Viv. Aware, that the older woman probably wasn’t exactly happy with your treatment of your teammate. She didn’t say anything though, didn’t reprimand you, just pushed your hands up to rest on the bench and began the task of tying up your laces.

“What’s up?”

Viv’s words were hushed, so nobody else in the locker room could hear them beside you. Her words were soft, genuine, caring.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

Viv rolled her eyes, finishing your left foot and then moving onto tying up your right one.

“You aren’t very good at lying, jochie.”

Your jaw locked at Viv’s words, watching her finish your left boot, as soon as her hands had left your feet you shot up off the bench, pushing her away as well and marching to the change room door, making your way out towards the training ground before Viv had the opportunity to ask you about your feelings again.

You trained like shit. Your sleep deprivation and lack of energy clear in your actions, you were sloppy, inaccurate and overall just poor in performance. You were approached multiple times by both Leah and Lia, as well as Kim and Jonas, who all seemed a little bit shocked by the shell of a player you were on the field. Before the break you’d been on top of your game, you were unstoppable on the pitch, scoring goals and assists. Your training session hardly reflected that though, on the pitch you looked like a rookie, you were playing like a rookie. You avoided them all as much as you could, especially the couple.

By the end of training you were rushing off the pitch, getting changed as quickly as possible and then getting to your car in record time, avoiding anybody who got in your way.

The couple were extremely shocked by your behaviour, the two of them sharing glances throughout the whole of training and in the change rooms afterwards, the both of them equally perplexed by your behaviour. On the drive home they shared similar thoughts, the both of them were equally worried about you and equally confused about your behaviour.

The next few days only got worse for you. Your lack of sleep and nutrition were affecting you even more and none of the girls came anywhere near you in the locker rooms, having observed Katie, Viv and Beth all be on the flip side of your outbursts when the three of them tried to push you. It wasn’t pretty and you knew that you were getting very close to getting a proper dressing down from Kim, your days were becoming numbered and you knew that if you didn’t pick up your act you were going to get a serious sit down.

You just couldn’t find it in you to care, all you could think about was the two women that had a few weeks ago been your best friends in the entire world. They were everywhere, at training, at team dinner, at team movie night. Everywhere you went they were there, so you found solace in your house which was the only space you had to yourself. The two women had been texting you, calling you, even daring to show up to the door of your flat, spending ten minutes knocking on the door. It had been ten agonising minutes in which you’d buried yourself in your bedsheets, patiently awaiting the two women to lead. Your avoidance had been going reasonably well, you weren’t in their gym group so they didn’t really have an excuse to approach you then, your cubby was on the other side of the locker room and you actively avoided them in training sessions.

It was going as fine as fine could go, you totally weren’t crying yourself to sleep every night thinking of the two women, or scrolling through both of their feeds everyday and looking at the old pictures of you three from merely a few weeks ago. It was all going fine until they cornered you in the locker rooms after a particularly rough training session.

It shouldn’t have been a rough session, Katie had been put on you and she was a rough defender but you were faster and more agile, but not with your sleep deprivation and malnutrition. Every time you got the ball she came at you, laying tackles that you would normally walk off easily, but today it had all hurt more, all been so much rougher. The third tackle had you woozy and unable to walk in a straight line, so you’d been accompanied off the field onto the sidelines where you’d resided for the rest of training.

When training had finished you’d disappeared into the change rooms, hoping that you would be able to slip out before everybody else as you’d done for the last week of training.

Instead though, when you were just finishing getting changed you were cornered by the couple, Leah pinning you down to the bench with her hands so you were unable to get up.

“You’ve been avoiding us.”

You kept your eyes on your feet, unable to look at the soft eyes of the two women.

“I’ve just been busy.”

It was a white lie, one you were sure that the two women saw right through.

“No you haven’t, you’ve been avoiding us and neither of us can figure out why.”

Leah’s words felt like a hot iron against your brain, the words branding into your skull.

Lia’s hand fell to your chin, pulling it up from your feet so you were forced to look at the couple.

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

Leah rolled her eyes at you, the blonde woman not even acknowledging your blatant lie.

“Yes you have, and now you're avoiding it, you haven’t talked to us since before the break and you’ve clearly not been looking after yourself, so what’s up, y/n/n?”

You bit your lip, trying your hardest to pull your eyes from Leah but her hold on your chin making it hard.

“Fuck off will you?”

It was the same aggression you’d been hiding behind all week, the same aggression you’d been using to push everyone else out. It was malicious, cut throat, everything the two women knew you weren’t. You were hiding behind it as a coping mechanism, and they knew it. So whilst it worked at pushing the rest of your teammates out, it did nothing but make them more concerned about you, their hearts clenching at the way your muscles tensed against Leah’s hand and the way your face thrashed against her grip, she didn’t let go though, to scared that if she let go they’d never be able to get you back again.

“You know that I won’t sweet, we care about you too much, so what’s up, tell me, you know you can trust me.”

You shook your head against her hand, burning tears pooling in the corners of your eyes, tears that you refused to let fall, you were on emotional lock down, too scared to let a single one fall, because you knew that if you did it would just end up worse.

“Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off.”

Your words were murmured like a ritual, like a reminder to your brain that you needed to push them out, you needed to push them out so they could stay pushed out of your brain.

“Pushing us out isn’t going to work, bunny.”

Lia’s voice was softer in comparison to Leah’s, attempting to coax you into some kind of comfortable submission that would ice out the anger leaking from your body. She was the water to Leah’s fire.

“I’m fine.”

Leah rolled her eyes.

“I find that hard to believe,” Leah frowned at the little tinge of something roll across your face and her confrontation, “The bags under your eyes tell me that you haven’t slept properly in at least the last week, you’ve lost weight and you were so dizzy early that you looked like you hadn’t drunk water in a month, so you aren’t fine and your hiding it, which means your even less fine, so I’ll ask you once again what’s up?”

You finally managed to free your chin of Leah’s grip, standing up quickly from the bench and almost managed to slip past the two women but one of Lia’s muscular arms managed to catch you around the waist, securely bringing you to her side, holding you down against it.

“Not so fast liebling, Lee asked you a question and you are going to answer it.”

“Nothing’s up.”

It was clear that neither of the women believed you.

“Rightyo then, you’re coming home with us, Jonas’ orders.”

You frowned deeply again.

“No, I don’t have to go home with you, I have my own home, I am a fucking adult I don’t need you two babysitting me.”

You watched as Leah frowned steadily at you, picking up your bag and her own before nodding at Lia who began to tug you along behind them.

“If you want to play this weekend then you will come home with us, you’ve clearly not been taking care of your own health and until you do, you need supervision, call it babysitting if you’d like, I’d call it hanging out with your best friends but whatever works for you.”

You cowered slightly at the passive aggressive tone that Leah used towards you, her voice cutting deeply into your brain, leaving a deep enough impression for you to get the message that this decision had been made for you and you didn’t have a say in what was happening. So you let them lead you to Leah’s car, let Lia buckle you into the backseat and then slide in beside you and didn’t object as Leah started to drive you back towards her house.

Most of your nights and weekends had been spent at Leah’s house, a few weeks ago you two had been inseparable, you’d grown up together, the two of you inseparable Milton Keynes girls. When you’d moved away from home you’d been each other's first roommates, you’d always wanted more but you’d been too afraid to compromise your friendship. Then somewhere along your careers Lia had entered your friendship and the three of you had very quickly become inseparable. There had always been tension between the three of you, drunken kisses shared between all of you, handsy exchanges that you’d always pawned off on the two other women just being touchy. Apparently though they had been more than just touchy for each other, and you couldn’t help but feel a little bit left out, like they were experiencing a whole other level of your relationship that only the two of them would feel.

When you’d pulled up to Leah’s flat you’d felt a part of your stomach drop, the anxiety of having to be in a house with the two women setting in and making you feel sick. Lia’s hand had found it’s way to your knee cap, squeezing it slightly. When Leah parked her car the two of them exited the vehicle, Lia apparently being tasked with carrying all of your bags and Leah being tasked with getting you inside.

She’d walked around to your side of the car, unstrapping your seatbelt and pulling you up out of your seat by pulling you up by your armpits. You went limp against her, all of the emotions, all of the angry shields, all of the fakeness and disregard for your general health making you well and truly spent, your body had identified you were no longer in danger, no longer in a space where you had to put up shields and it had come to the conclusion that you now no longer had to do that. So you let Leah man handle you up the stairs, let her tug your shoes off at the door and drag you across her floorboards, until she managed to get to her couch and sit the both of you down on it.

She sat herself down first, getting herself situated on the lounge before laying you down in between her legs, so your head was resting steadily against her chest. Your body still in its mellowed out state, your brain floating in a sort of haze that you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Eventually Lia rejoined the two of you, freshly showered and dressed. She came bearing three cups of hot cocoa and slotted herself in between Leah’s legs and my own, criss crossing on top of my feet. The pressure felt good, relaxing, and calming. Lia passed me one of the ups and I took a tentative sip, the feeling of the warm chocolate slipping down my throat, nothing besides complete divinity.

“So, what’s really up, hm?”

Lia’s voice was as soft as silk, gliding through the room and falling gently upon your ears.

“Nothing’s up.”

Your voice was gruff in comparison, nothing close to anything that was happening in this room, your tone felt out of place, just like you felt in between the two. Like you were an unfit jigsaw piece.

“Honey, I don’t know why you feel like you need to lie to us, but you don’t, whatever it is we can sort it out, you know that we’d never judge you right?”

Lia’s words were so soft, so smooth, so calming and yet they did absolutely nothing to calm the feelings inside your soul, the feelings of complete yearning for the two women that now seemed completely forbidden.

“It’s stupid.”

You felt Leah’s head lean over your own, looking down at you from her place from above you, one of her eyebrows raised in questioning.

“Nothing you feel is stupid, bunny.”

The nickname bunny came from when you and Leah were kids. You’d been a fluff ball as a kid, a fluffy ball of blonde hair that had somehow ended up with Leah nicknaming you bunny. It had somehow stuck throughout your teenage years and your years at Arsenal, as much as it riled you up.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

You felt like a kid, with the two women looking down at you as if you were their child.

“Too bad, we are. Whatever it is has clearly taken a massive toll on your health and wellbeing and we can’t have that. It helps to talk, so talk to us, talk to us like you did a few weeks ago.”

You pushed yourself out of Leah’s arms, standing up in her living room and beginning to pace in front of the two women, your heels digging into the material of the carpet.

“You want to know what’s up? You two go to Ibiza for a week, a trip I would have gone on if I didn’t have family commitments. You come back and the two of you are fucking dating, you didn’t tell my anything, I didn’t even get a fucking phone call to say, guess what your two bestfriends have gotten together. It’s messing with my head, because we were all touchy and handsy, we all made out with eachother and I pawned it off as the three of us just being close, but turns out it wa just the two of you and I’m a fucking third wheel and now I just feel like you’re tugging me along because you feel bad for me, not because you actually give two shits about our friendship.”

Leah’s arms stopped you from pacing, making you realise that tears were now slowly dipping down your face at a steady rate. Leah tugged you back down into her arms, wrapping them both around you to secure you to her chest.

“Bunny, bunny, take deep breaths for me, it’s okay.”

You shook your head against her body, thrashing and pushing against her grip but she refused to let you go, not when she now knew how much she’d hurt you now.

“It’s not fine, it’s not fine, you two love each other and I love you both but you don’t love me, you don’t want me, not how I want either of you, not how I feel for either of you.”

You felt Leah take a deep breath from behind you, her own tears nor brimming in the back of her eyes, now beginning to feel the true depth of her and Lia’s actions.

“Bunny, we both love you so much, more than you would ever know and I’m so sorry you’ve felt this way, I’m so sorry that we never communicated anything with you. Me and Lia, we love you, we’ve always loved you, hell I’ve loved you since we were 5. The last few years, we’ve been trying so fucking hard to get you to realise, to get you to understand the magnitude of how much we love you. But you never did, the drunken kisses, the secret glances and touches, we thought it was all platonic for you and after a while, the two of us began to think that we were waiting for nothing, so in Ibiza we bit the bullet, we decided that we couldn’t wait around for a person who didn’t reciprocate our feelings. I am so sorry we never saw it, I’m so sorry that neither of us were confident enough to just ask you the question, but we’re going to work it out now, we’re going to make it all work out, I promise you.”

Your body relaxed fully against Leah’s, all the fight disappearing as Leah’s words sunk into your skin, stretching across your skin like a layer of silk.

Lia clambered her way up the sofa, squishing you between Leah and herself and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Liebling, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to sort this out, and Leah and I, we are going to spend every day making it up to you, everyday proving just how loved you are, ich verspreche.”

Everything fell into place for you, maybe everything wasn’t perfect right now, maybe there was still a lot of things the three of you had to work out, but you didn’t feel out of place anymore between the two women, you felt perfectly in place, like your jigsaw piece had finally feel into place.

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