#I mean since laurent seems to know of aimeric's abuse

[x-xhiro]

I wonder if Aimeric had some jealousy of Laurent and how much did he know of Laurent's abuse they shared. Since the regent’s abuse of both Aimeric and Laurent had to overlap somewhat. The reason I think Aimeric had deluded himself with the regent’s lies and jealously is how he talks to Laurent near his end in PG. There was a weight of “he loves me, unlike you.” to what he said, before the shattering of delusion.

[pourcap]

thoughts: pg chapter 1

okay book 2 let's go !!

laurent petting the dogs aaaah that's (uncharacteristically) sweet

‘A massage?' damen, stop being a dick and just let the physician take care of your back omg

That was really too much. ‘It’s cosmetic?' god. damen.

i mean, i get why he's pissed: first, laurent tortures him half to death (which obv damen doesn't enjoy), then orders his physician to take care of damen's wounds (which damen doesn't seem to have any patience for until fighting's mentioned)

Damen snorted. ‘It wasn’t that bad.' hmmm.

'Men find themselves in the places they put themselves,’ Paschal said, closing his satchel with a snap. does he know of laurent's abuse? it doesn't sound like he simply dislikes the regent...

'Yes, of course,’ said Damen. Then stopped. please be careful !! just once !!

do laurent's men ever stop talking disrespectful shit about him behind his back? i don't get it because they're 1) hot for him, 2) terrified of him, and 3) not taking him seriously at all when he's their crown prince. although, of course, the regent has done a pretty decent job of tattering his reputation

ohh, so that's aimeric

he sounds nice enough, though?? at least he defended laurent

damen helping aimeric <3

damen is noticing a lot of things about aimeric's appearance which so far we've only gotten twice before with laurent and nicaise. i don't know what that means, if it even means anything...? with laurent i get it because damen is attracted to him but of course he isn't attracted to nicaise at all so now, with aimeric, i'm not sure if we're getting all of these details because damen is attracted to him or if it's just like with nicaise, where it more of a "he doesn't belong here"-kind of situation (you know, because nicaise is a literal child who definitely shouldn't live among adults in a court like the one in vere, and aimeric is out of place as he's prettier than the other soliders)

'Aimeric’s young. He says it won’t happen again,’ said Jord. It will happen again, and once the two factions in this camp start retaliating against one another your campaign is over, he didn’t say. ohhhh damen has a really tactical mind, too, huh? not that i'm surprised since he's led armies before and, as a prince, he's definitely had akielon's best tutors teach him, but i like getting these glimpses of what he knows happens among men. he's probably got an advantage there over laurent

ugh nooooo not govart i hate him

govart is so gross.

'(...) He and his uncle came here a great deal together, in the year or two after Marlas. As he grew older, the Prince lost his taste for the runs here. (...)' :( i really wish i didn't know what that means. i want laurent to lock the regent into a cell and just let him die there

This group was going to tear itself apart. i loooove damen knowing so much about how to lead an army <3

laurent is here !!

'The stableboy should learn to demand payment before he bends over.' aaaand he's already back to being mean (not that he's wrong)

'No restraints?’ said Damen. ‘You don’t think I’ll try to leave, pausing only to kill you on the way out?’ ‘Not until we get closer to the border,’ said Laurent. aaaaah so that's why he's so confident about giving damen armour/a horse/etc.

Laurent said, ‘I am not going to waste time on posturing and threats. Why don’t we clear up any uncertainty about your intentions?' and to think the regent has made his entire court think laurent's a coward lol

'Do I seem like the type to scream?' i know this isn't particularly romantic or anything but i have missed the way they talk to each other so much. i just adore their back and forth idk

'(...) but if you’re willing to put it in my hand, you underestimate how much I want to.' oohhhhh

'I know exactly what it is to want to kill a man, and to wait.' ... anyway. :)))

‘Have I disobeyed an order?’ said Damen. Laurent gave him another of those long, oddly searching looks. ‘No,’ said Laurent. it's so interesting to me how damen keeps getting frustrated about not being able to read/predict laurent when it seems like it's the exact same for laurent, vice versa

'You said you knew the territory,’ Laurent said. ohh my god they'll really be working together??? idk how exactly things will unfold between them but i have a feeling they could be really helpful for each other aaah

[thickenmyblood]

I love hand in unloveable hand!! It's just sometimes is so painful to read because it's so real and sad and all I wanted was to make a way into the story and give damen a hug :( and make things work out for him

well I love you, love the way you answer your asks, somehow I thought itd be totally different because the story is until now so sad but you are actually so warm and kind

can't wait for the next chapters!! Right now it's so hard for me to see a solution and a possible way for everything turning out fine, especially since chapter 9 (like what was that 😭😭😭😭) but I trust you when you say everythings turning out ok!!

I just feel so bad for damen and nicaise being super mean and I understand nicaise is an abuse survivor but it's still so painful and damen doesn't seem to truly comprehend that, and then comes laurent also being kinda rude and all of his friends being awful like Ancel and Aimeric and honestly I never get why it happens to damen because the unreliable narrator really tricked me

sometimes I think damen will actually come to a limit and do something extreme, like trying to take away his own life or not leaving home for weeks and then people will start to actually noticing him and taking care of him and not making him feeling alone but I guess that's just dreaming real big lol

anyway hope you're having a good day! I really really want to read your new kastor/laurent fanfic because deep in my heart I want to believe kastor's a good person and in a different universe he actually gets to be happy but something tells me that's different of what I'll find and I'm not quite ready to suffer again lol

but thanks for everything! Love ya!

😭🥺 this ask made my entire week better

i know exactly how you feel about damen because i feel the same way lol. i'm constantly like "jesus just give him a break!!!" but also... without pain there's no fun. nic's trauma responses only get worse and worse so i feel good that you at least understand where he's coming from!!! laurent's friends being mean has been really fun to write, but i'm excited about what's to come because i really do think ancel is one of the characters that helps damen grow the most. BUT NO SPOILERS OKAY.

i really suggest you don't read my lastor fic 😂 damen does not have a good time in it, so please if you're already feeling sad over hiuh damen don't even glance at quietus.

ily for this message 💜 i can't wait for the day to come when you're like "maca, i have suffered so much but now i am SO happy for damen". ty for your time!!!!!!!!!!

[thestoriesthatweweave]

Bathing Scene in Capri Chapter 3 meta

I’ve noticed recently that my interpretation on the bath scene in chapter 3 of Captive Prince, which is pretty different from what seems to be the general consensus in the fandom. Specifically, my interpretation of the motive behind Laurent’s actions.  

The general consensus I’ve always seen on the bath scene is that Laurent was acting deliberately, intending in advance to punish Damen whatever he did, so he created the conditions to ensure that Damen would give him the excuse he needed. 

But Laurent’s actions in the bath scene and afterwards are not typical of his character when thinking coldly. He is capable of cruelty, sure, but, when planning ahead, he managed to hurt Damen in ways that ensured Laurent would not bear any repercussions from it. And the repercussions of the whipping are severe: he loses all of his lands (save Acquitart) and much of his hard-earned reputation in front of the court. 

Ever since I read it for the first time I’ve always thought the bath scene was a sort of test Laurent devised to gauge the truth of Damen’s character - he creates a situation in which he can observe, at no danger to himself, he Damen acts in a situation in which he his inhibition are lowered and he has the impression of being in a position of power over Laurent (on account of them being alone in the room). 

A test Damen fails.

This impression has only grown stronger upon rereading, with the benefit of hindsight and the firmer grasp of Laurent’s character and his backstory that affords.

My reasoning (featuring canonical tw for discussion of sexual assault and discussion of Laurent’s and Nicaise’s abuse at the Regent’s hands) is under the cut:

(Direct quotes from the books are in italics.)

Laurent starts of the first book not only hating Damen for what Damen did to him in killing Auguste, but also firmly believing that Damen is some sort of monster - possibly because Auguste’s death is so tangled up, in Laurent’s mind, with the abuse that he suffered afterwards, that he believes Damen to be somehow complicit in what his uncle did to him.

Laurent seems to start doubting his conviction that Damen’s an awful human being after he witnesses Damen’s reaction to being offered Nicaise as a “reward” for his performance in the ring. Damen is, rightfully, infuriated and disgusted at the very notion. He says: “Do whatever you want to me. I’m not going to rape a child.”

Laurent’s expression “flickers” and his more extended reaction is this: Laurent was looking from Damen to the boy and back again. Frowning as if something didn’t make sense. 

From what we see of the court of Arles under the Regent’s lead, this is, quite possibly, the first explicit condemnation Laurent has ever heard of his uncle’s actions. And it’s from the mouth of the man he considers responsible for his uncle being left in charge. 

After this exchange, Laurent does what he always does, throughout all three books, when he’s taken aback by something: he isolates himself. (“Have my horse brought to the north courtyard, I’m going for a ride”).

He and Damen don’t see each other again until the baths.

Once Damen is brought to the baths, Laurent’s first words are a reference to the encounter with Nicaise, proving that the incident has been on his mind. In this occasion he also says that he waited six days so he and Damen could be alone, which is in support of the idea that his actions are premeditated. I’ve always seen this statement as meaning that he wanted to be able to conduct his interaction with Damen however he sees fit, without outside inference. What he adds immediately afterwards (“Are you going to complain again that you’re not allowed to hit back? Don’t worry, I won’t hit you unless I have a good reason”) seems to indicate he hasn’t made up his mind yet on what to do with Damen.

And if he plans to punish Damen anyway, why wait for Damen to provide him with an excuse, since he’s arranged for them to be alone and could just make an excuse up, since it’s going to be his word against Damen’s anyway?

The reader’s impression of their interaction in the baths is colored by Damen’s POV, but examining it by just looking at their dialogue, this is what happens:

Laurent says: “Don’t get presumptuous” (while Damen is fondling him, meaning: take your hands off me)

To which Damen replies: “Too late, sweetheart” (which, to be fair, is kind of a shitty response to give to someone who just demanded to be unhanded).

Laurent, after he tries to slap Damen and is physically restrained instead (and after Damen takes the opportunity to ogle him, while still holding his wrist), reacts with: “But my voice has broken. That was the only prerequisite, wasn’t it?” - which is a call-back to earlier in the scene when talking about Nicaise, when Damen said: “before I rape anyone, I first check if their voice has broken”. 

So Laurent is clearly accusing Damen of attempting to sexually assault him. And considering Laurent’s opinion of Damen in book 1 and the fact that it’s only the two of them in the room and so Laurent would have no incentive to lie, there’s no reason to believe that the accusation is anything but genuine. 

Now, Damen would never. Damen is, in fact, horrified at the very notion (Damen released his grip, as though burned). This is immediately clear to the reader. 

But Laurent, whose major impression of Damen is him cutting down his beloved brother after Auguste had allowed him to pick up his sword, and so is inclined to think the worst of him, does not know this. All he sees is that the moment he showed himself to have any vulnerability (illusory as it was), Damen tried to take advantage of it. 

If he’s been wavering over whether or not Damen is a horrible human being before, he’s not wavering now, because Damen just gave him the excuse he needed to continue to hold the (much more comfortable) belief that the man who killed his brother is a monster from a story, rather than a person with virtues as well as flaws.

So Lauerent gets angry - at Damen for his presumption and deception and at himself for being taken in with his pretense at goodness, even for a moment. He does what he always does when he gets angry: he becomes vicious, and cruel, and creates damage much in excess of what is necessary, by ordering Damen to be flogged until he is almost killed. 

Anger has always been Laurent’s character flaw, and he harms everyone when it is unleashed, including himself. 

 Damen even says it in Prince’s Gambit, after Laurent’s verbal attack to Aimeric: “I remember the last time you were like this. You blundered so badly you gave your uncle the excuse he needed to have you stripped of your lands”.