#I mean yeh she IS but letting anger out is also pretty healthy so beeing angry is probably her way of dealing with

[irrfahrer]

HATER & ANGST ANTHEMS—3 songs that portray your muse’s negative side of life! Bitter, negative, sad, bad vibes. What songs portray the darker sides of your muse?

“The Dark Ones” By Karliene: Hush child | Open your eyes | You are not alone | We are your dark ones | Holding you close |  Come dance with us | Dance in the darkness | We've been waiting for you |  That world doesn't want you | Like we do | We see you | For in the night | Fire shines bright |  Come dance with us | Dance in the darkness | Oh how we've been waiting for you 

  While Ziv is not a Jedi who is even remotely on the verge to the Dark Side, she is due to her Life with the Murakami Orchid permanently in contact with and studying Sith Alchemy and on especially bad days when her own isolation wears especially heavy on her [That world doesn't want you | Like we do], the scientist that Ziv still is finds a unhealthy fascination for this science.Ziv is still more of a scientist than anything else.

“Dead to me” By JT Music: Why bother screaming, don't see the point | No one will hear it, we're in the void | As I drift into darkness doom is drawing near me | And all along I'm screamin' but nobody hears me | Survival's all I've left to do | As you become nothin' but memory | I know that I was never dead to you | But I'll move forward because you're dead to me | Because you're dead to me The problem when one is given the task to protect someone else with their life, is that that task its ones life from that moment on. Especially when one carries around ones neck the mainingredient for a ritual for Immortality and a Sickness that corrupts everyone (and everything, considering what happned with the nature on Dathomir that became not only poisonous but even made lifeless stone corrupt into blackwing-crystals) into flesheating Zombies. Zivs tasks is suppose to be beeing the Warden of the Murakami Orchid and keep it away and hidden and therefor keep herself away and hidden.She is not a Jedi, she is not suppose to be a Jedi. She is the Warden of that specific Murakami orchid and that is all she should be. Not a Healer, not a farmer and terraformer, not a spy, not a rebel, not a friend, not a mother. And keeping it save means keeping it out of anyones reach and knowledge. Isolating herself and the Orchid. Zivs stubborn struggle to still be part of the Galaxy (to still be a Jedi as she wanted to since she was a pup), to help people as a Healer, farmer and midwife, to seek out places where the Empire had tested the Blackwing Virus, to support the rebellion as a Deep Current Spy, to continue researching on Darth Drear, to keep in contact with the people around her, is her way of rebelling against that task put upon her. The Murakami Orchid-after all a curious child- is rebelling themself by beeing curious about that Galaxy Ziv takes part in against both their actual tasks. As a Healer Ziv had decided that a sickness can not be defeated by leaving it on its own but by actively fighting it (with naturally a cure or knowledge in the Sickness case).

"The Unquiet Grave” By Karliene: Why does thou sit upon my grave | And will dead lips to speak? | Why does thou weep upon my grave | And will not let me sleep? | My breast it is as cold as clay | My breath is earthly strong | And if you kiss my cold clay lips | Your days they won't be long There is a understandable terror in encountering the Sickness and the Balckwing Virus (and the concept of immortality caused by sacreficing someone else, because how cruel can someone be). Ziv is not especially bothered by death or by people dying.In a medical sense. That belongs to her job and she is sad when she looses a patient but when she dwells too long on that she looses her strenght and focus to help other people because she would be afraid of making mistakes or can nolonger focus enough on what other patients need and only on what she should have done for that other patient. That is a circle that stops her form helping people needing her now. The bad kind of attatchment in that manner, focusing on mistake sin the past instead of learning from them. For Ziv specifically it is the fact that she is a Healer and had been trained as a Healer since she had been six years old and send to the Halls of Healing. She is trained to make people better and if not better, to support them in their lifes. Having to face the by a by the Dark Side corrupted plant whos only desire is to spread and eat, infected people and not beeing able to help them but isolate them until the eat themself up and slove the problem themself goes against anything Ziv stands for. She is there to heal. Especially since the problem does not slove itself by beeing left alone and isolated because the Infected just fall into stasis and wait for the next not infected victim to start the whole thing again and especially also because as longer the infected are left alone as more the Virus concious develops and as more it learns from the collected memories of the infected so it very much will move itself to new victims themself if noone comes for them ( aka.flying themselfs ships with infected into Dathomir). There is a horror like trying to face against a stormwave ready to swallow and drown one when facing the councious SIckness that is the Blackwing Virus and even more the Original SIcknss from Odacer Faustin and Ziv lives with it everyday and indeed, tries to not let the dead sleep, because she is still a Healer who tries to heal.

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