#I mean. I ASSUME the fact that I got invited to the oral exam means my thesis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

running-in-the-dark · 8 months

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...... fuuuuuuck

I juuuuust want to be dead.

that is all

going to bed now. taking my thesis and my laptop and a pen and paper with me. and hoping I'll have at least a couple useful thoughts before I pass out (I won't)

#it'll be fine it'll be fine it'll be fine #but I can't help feeling like this is the point where I fuck up my entire future #I mean. I ASSUME the fact that I got invited to the oral exam means my thesis #was at least good enough to barely pass???#but if I don't know ANYTHING tomorrow I will still fail!#and it feels BAD. and SCARY. and I don't handle that well #need. to. die #right now. can't stand it #goddddddd someone kill me #AND ALSO. having to be face to face with that shitty professor and having to listen to him explain alllll the ways in which I am a #dumb fucking idiot? yeah that'll fucking feel bad! and I won't be able to leave! and I will cry! because that's what I do!#maybe it'll be so bad that I pass out! wait I wouldn't mind that actually. hm if I just think about awful enough injuries and people in pain #I could probably make myself pass out. okay that's my plan Z now I guess. (plan A is 'open my mouth and hope a sentence comes out'. plans #B to Y are '.......'.)#😭😭😭😭#actually plan Y is pass out. plan Z is build a time machine and go back in time and make yourself be less stupid and study for this crap #tw suicide #or whatever

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