#I mostly know people forget mine bc they are in christmas stress

[chevvy-yates]

I woke up today and saw this on my phone's notifications! Thank you so much @gloryride 💖

[astheravensighs]

gray!! water lily, hyacinth, anemone, sweet pea, sunflower with your dumb of ass husband prussia 🥺?? (asking a lot but im curious oop) (fawnships!)

omg fawn ilu ..... i am absolutely overjoyed 2 yell abt my dumb of ass man thank u so much 4 asking 💕 i definitely did rant a bit so um. I’ll put it under a readmore next time I’m @ my computer but i saw the notification and my brain went 📢🎉🎊🎤🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

Water lily: did you or your f/o cry at the wedding?

LOL YEAH,,,, he has. a lot of feelings. and he has always been quick 2 tear up but. it wasn’t ugly crying (thank god) it was like. bliss crying?? if that makes sense?? like all his feelins didn’t know what 2 do so hes just. tears. so many of them. and YES he was the guy that sees the bride for the first time and has 2 cover his mouth bc he wants to SCREECH with love,,,,, and me ?? i was like. I’m not gonna cry not gonna do it i am not i am NOT- and i ALMOST lost it when he started cryin!!! but i barely made it 2 the vows and i was. just. donkey noises. thank god I’m not a mascara person fjdjh

Hyacinth: how do you celebrate your wedding anniversary?

Pru breaks some stereotypes in that he NEVER forgets an anniversary or important date tbh he would celebrate half birthdays,, so he is Timely and Punctual!! He doesn’t technically ~work~ anymore so he can do whatever he wants most days but!! on anniversary days he goes STUPID all out romantic!!! like !! all year he’s gathering favors from other nations n anyone he can network with and we end up in a 5 star hotel with 500$ steaks and a jacuzzi by the end of the night and I’m like. who’s paying for this. and he’s like. the queen of england owes me some favors. but we do make it a tradition 2 go to a candy store during the day!! why buys each other candy we might not like when we can just go 2 a big candy buffet and destroy our dental hygiene ourselves!!

Anemone: was your wedding small or extravagant? Were there many guests or just close friends?

ok hear me out on this: two ceremonies. one of them is the more private, official and legal wedding at the courthouse kinda thing with his friends (who swore 2 be on their best behavior for once) and mine (whom were mostly in charge of keeping the boys from doing dumb things). then. the party wedding. hell yeah. and speaking of calling in favors?? we rented out a WHOLE ren faire event. like. the whole venue. it’s right after the faire itself so it’s not a huge bother 2 the folks that make it happen!! we have SO many people there just a ridiculous amount. people i aint seen in YEARS. especially exes bc we’re petty lol. turkey legs and funnel cake and JOUSTING and prussia definitely tries to do the keg toss and almost DIES (his bro germany breaks the keg accidentally) everyone is in costume and the vendors are super discounted (dw they’re gettin some good pay for puttin up with us lol) and everyone addresses me n prussia as ‘your highness’ ☺️ (that actually happened last year n i about fainted)

sweet pea: did your wedding have a theme?

making it a ren faire definitely set a theme!!!! but some of them were.... less than consistent. there was definitely a master chief cosplayer and neither of us know who it was. which is fine!! but i don’t think he was invited lol. either way prussia probably spent an obscene amount of time/money on costumes for us both and made sure they were historically accurate and comfortable,,,,, everyone was welcome 2 dress up if they want but it’s not required, and it didn’t have 2 be strictly medieval either!! there were a lot of kilts. maybe too many. things were seen

Sunflower: were either of you stressed or worried before the ceremony?

The private one a little bit mostly because A. it’s so... idk. official. paperwork??? legally binding contracts??? I’m ok with it but if i misspell something will i get prison time or smth??? also slightly concerned his friends would show up in inflatable dinosaur costumes like they did for the bachelor party (prussia did end up wearing his godforsaken white tailcoat suit) djshsh but the party wedding was like. christmas morning excitement. the whole way there I’m just Vibrating,,, excited for the big ol ceremony in front of our friends and excited for the FOOD and the performances and have u heard of the musical blades?? they definitely sing for us and i LOVE THEM captain patch is my fave pirate man..... it’s just JOY and friends and food and fun and laughing and SO much smiling and goodness!!!!

ahhh thank u for letting me rant and ramble abt the dumbest cutest man........... sjdjdhj i am v thankful and blushy now thinkin abt it aaaaaaAA thank u thank u thank u ilu!!!!!!!!

[hqcentineo-blog]

A P P R E C I A T I O N   W E E K  —  NOV. 2018

     “ F r i e n d s become our chosen f a m i l y. ”

To the mods — thank you. for all you do, for all the hard work and sacrifice you put in so that we can have a safe space to write with our friends. high enough praise can’t be given. thank you a million times over.   @hollywoodlandhq

To Ally — my sister from another mister. we share a brain & it’s awesome. the friendship we’ve formed - although it was formed long ago, we just didn’t realize it *coughmileyxdylancough* lmao - has quickly become something so important to me that i don’t know how i ever functioned without it. the only thing i love more than writing out precious children with you is our chats out of character. whenever i have a bad day or hell, even a whole bad weekend, i know that i can log on and that you’ll make me feel better instantly. i’m so glad i finally watched the fosters & that my need for more noah/maia interaction led me to you.   @hqmaia

To Vic — one of my oldest rp friends. you’ve seen me through thick and thin and i think the only thing more beautiful than our friendship is noah & cierra’s. i’ve gone to you with some of the craziest shit this weird brain of mine has come up with & never once did you laugh me out of the room or write me off. i don’t know if that says more about you or me but whichever it is, i’m beyond grateful for our friendship that just keeps getting better with age.  @cierrahq

To Kingsley — i’m so glad that you worked up the courage to im me first (bc we both know full well that i was never going to be the one to bother you) because charmila is eVeRyThInG. and we shant forget the time that we /really/ bonded over a certain twitter video(s) which instantly sent our friendship up like 5 million levels. i don’t want to talk about it for fear of getting a lil hot n bothered but know that it was /quite/ the friendship former and i am so glad that you & i will forever share that experience. we saw things, man. it changed us. for the better...i think?   @jfcmelton

To Charlie — another one of my age old friends. at the risk of sounding FIVE THOUSAND years old, i literally watched you grow up. i cherish our friendship so so much and it makes my heart so happy to see you out there killing the game, chasing your dreams, and owning it. i can always count on you for an ego boost and a kind word or two.   @emilybettrickrds

To Bonnie — my bonbon. you are truly one of the sweetest humans i’ve never met. i mean, who tf sends a handmade christmas card all the way to hawaii along with the sweetest note i’ve ever read? things like that really make an impact on me & i hope you know how much i value the friendship we’ve built. your influence on me and my writing is something that i will forever be grateful for. and getting the chance to ship with you? priceless.   @hyfdanielle

To Becca — another one of my lifers. despite all the unnecessary and idiotic bullshit that seems to come your way, you have never been anything but kind, understanding, and wonderful in all the years i’ve known you. you put your heart and soul into every one of your muses and it is absolutely inspiring. the dedication you’ve shown is something that i look to as an example and the creativity that you have is something of an aspiration to me. thank you for teaching me how fulfilling hard work in the name of a passion can be.   @liliisms

To Rose — we’re connected!!! irl!!! who knew that would /ever/ be something that could possibly happen. out of aaaall the people in this big, wide world...the fact that we managed to find a mutual connection is nothing short of a miracle & a sign that we were always meant to be friends. even though i’m old enough to be your grandma (it’s fine, it’s cool, i’m fine...). i adore you & your writing & your muses, each and every one of ‘em. keep shining, you star.   @joekcery

To KJ — you are literally the reason i came back to writing. i was nervous in the aftermath of things but a few simple texts from you & any hesitation was out the window. i couldn’t pass up the chance to round out the riv gang and i knew, if you were happy here, i would be happy here as well. our personalities just click and have since day one; it’s a true gift that i’ll always be thankful for. also, our love for ryan guzman’s face will forever bond us (have you /seen/ the new season of 911? HOT. DANG.). love you long time, honey.   @kjapayo

To Emily — thank you for helping me keep track of our threads because anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that i’m a super mega scatter brain who is very bad at juggling multiple things & would lose her head if it wasn’t attached to her body. that said, i absolutely adore our cami/troian friendship to bits. they’re the cutest thing since newborn puppies & i’m very grateful for each and every chance i have to interact with you.   @itstbellisario

To Sadie — i will never have a bigger brotp than nat & gi. they were cute af fam! not only are you an incredible writer who puts incredible amounts of effort into all her muses, you’re a fantastic admin & i’m so grateful to have you (and the rest of the admin team) at the helm of this machine. each chance i have to write against you makes me a better writer so thank you.   @ohlizzo

To the rest of this lovely, little ohana — for those who don’t know, i took a few months off from writing in a group setting on tumblr over the summer. partially due to a bit of drama in the tumblr rp sphere but mostly due to a stressful solo teaching job that took every second of my life to successfully accomplish (6th, 7th, and 8th graders are no joke, y’all). but once the dust settled and i returned to my normal, far less stressful autumnal job, i came back in search of a new place to call home. thankfully, i heard whisperings of a safe space that had been set up by a few names that were familiar to me and i knew i had to throw my name into the ring. so to those i’ve known for a while from past places, i’ve enjoyed every minute back in your ranks. to those newer who found a home here in this place, i’m so glad you did. i’m glad you found us. to everyone, thanks for being here. happy six months, hollywoodland!

[arctic-urpo]

I’ve been talking abt my current situation a bit here and there, but I realized it has all been pretty vague and possibly worrying, plus I feel like I owe an explanation for why it has taken me so long with the newest chapter to LRTN. So, here’s the situation under the cut bc it will get lengthy and I don’t wanna bother people who are not that interested:

So, as some may already know I am mentally very ill and I cycle through periods of doing really badly or sometimes really well, and mostly just somewhere in the mid-low area. I try not to let that show a lot through anything else but whining in Tumblr, and taking break in updates sometimes etc.

So, in November I had one of those better times. In fact I was doing better than I had been doing in many many years. But, I was kind of prepared for a drop during the Christmas season because it's a very hard time for me for various of reasons. I was positive however since I thought I was in a better place mentally now.

And, in the start it went well. I had a trip with my friends, and I had an absolute blast with them. When I got home, I was kind of starting to feel the bad vibes but they soon passed when my friend came to visit for over a week. His company helped me feel better.

But, the day he left I ended up having a breakdown in the evening. Not because he left, but mostly because all the packed up stress and anxiety broke out. I, I really have trouble showing things to others so they easily build up...

Anyways, after that my condition started to drop drastically, every day being worse than the last. I think about now it has stopped dropping, although it's mostly because I don't know how you can lower from here.

So, by the time the time to update the new chapter came, I was already doing really badly. I was still able to write, and I thought I should be able to finish the chapter and then I'd keep one break from updates.

But, my computer broke down in the middle of it, and I went into a huge panic. It's a fairly new computer after all, I was stressed about the chapter and school work I needed to finish, I also get very attached to things, so it was the worst attack I had during the season. A friend of mine came over and fixed the computer, but I didn't have time to finish the chapter since I had to go to sleep plus... I wasn't really in a good mental state at that point.

Next day, I was busy with my friends, and after that was over and I was alone at home... I began to dissociate really badly. And, that was kind of the beginning of what the time since then has been. I'm mostly dissociating, unable to really tell how much time has passed, I keep forgetting to eat so I eat maybe once every 24 hours at worst. And even then it isn't much.

I've also started to see really vivid nightmares of like... my daily life. I see dreams that I have an argument with a friend or that it's a week later and I'm late with my essay. And with the dissociation added, I have no idea what's true or real.

Also because they're nightmares, I don't really get any rest, so I'm constantly tired and keep falling asleep during the day and thus, sleep most of the time.

There's a lot of other stuff too like, I've been having a lot of difficulties to answer people and breakdowns and panic attacks plus my apartment being freezing cold but, all in all I haven't been really in the condition to write the chapter at all. I've been working on it every time I was doing even slightly bit better, but it usually didn't last long so I generally got at best few sentences done.

Before anyone gets too worried, I am working on all these issues with my therapist and it's all under control - well, in the sense that we know what's happening and are paying close attention to it. I'm also taking sick leave from school to focus on getting into a better place mentally, since apparently I wasn't ready to go into school yet after all (as I had feared...)

Anyways!! I'm working on these things, the fact that I'm taking sick leave is already relieving a lot of my stress so things should at least get more stable now. In the meantime though, I'm sorry for all the inconvenience and all the messages I have yet to answer or any time it takes forever of me to answer. You're also welcome to rush me or kind of like, prompt me to answer, I definitely don't mind, since often it might really be I forgot because my dissociation made me forget getting a message. Or my dreams made me think I already answered.

I'll try my best to get better so I hope you can have patience in the meantime with me ;-; As for LRTN: I have NO PLANS OF DROPPING IT, EVER, just so that people don't worry! I'm sorry all of this ended up interrupting my update schedule so much. I'm trying to finish the chapter tonight since there shouldn't be much to write anymore, but after that is done I'll probably take a little break. I'll think about how long that break is when I post the chapter but, probably somewhere around couple weeks to one month.

Anyways, in conclusion, I'm not doing well but I'm working on it and I'm sorry if I've made anyone worry or upset or anything like that. I will get better however, that's a fact even though I don't know how long it will take, and LRTN will at some point return to the usual updates again! ^^ Everything will be okay!

[speaknowslut13]

Lauren my beloved! Sorry I missed yesterday, my life is chaos and also I was out of data haha.

Ohh very fun! I feel like kids that age are fun because their personalities are really starting to develop.

Awesome! I’ve also played flute since 5th grade and then I played piccolo in marching band all through college. I miss playing in groups, and I’m really hoping that’ll be possible again soon! You are to drums as I am to singing lmfao I was almost kicked out of choir in high school bc I canNOT carry a tune. What other instruments do you want to learn?

I love channels like that! That and cooking channels are the majority of my subscribed to haha so if you ever decide to start a YouTube, I will certainly be on your subscribers list. Understandable, Tiktok stresses me outtttt lol I go on from time to time bc my sister always sends me a bunch but then I have to delete the app again.

Awwwwwe oh my gosh, that’s so cute!! 🥺🥺 what was your wedding like? (Though I never plan on getting married myself, I loveeeeee weddings hehe) what kind of stuff do you like to do together?

Omggg what an incredible experience for rep tour! Tumblr during rep tour was one of my favorite times ever on tumblr, like so exciting to get clips of the b stage songs and see peoples posts about meeting her! What other concerts have you been too?

I’m hoping to visit Croatia at the end of august, if everything goes according to plan/covid doesn’t once again wreck my plans. I grew up in the northwestern US, and there people joke that the seasons are “fire season, road construction, winter” and winters are regularly so much snow, windy, and -20°, so not ideal conditions for enjoying them. Have you been to Grand Canyon or any of the other national parks in the southwest? They all look so beautiful, that’s one part of the US I would definitely like to see more of.

Thank you!! I’m really excited to be a student again but I am also really glad I took some time off. I enjoy Dostoevsky! Probably not my all time favorite, but my best friend loves him so I’ve read a lot of his stuff and talk about it a lot. Also a big fan of Byron and I have a love/hate relationship with Shakespeare. My favorite poet is ee cummings, I love Cynthia Kadohata, huge Neil Gaiman fan. And many many others haha but off the top of my head let’s go with that 😅

What do you write about? And in what medium? I write a lot of poetry and I like writing non fiction, but I learned in college that I am NOT a fiction writer hahaha.

What have you been up to this weekend?? I hope you’ve had a lovely day 💖 Drew

ps: I love reading your responses! Please don’t feel bad or stressed about writing a lot ✨✨

Hello, Drew! Chaos feels like the natural order of the world lately. It’s fine if you miss a day or two! I understand.

I actually never really wanted to be married myself. I figured if I did, I’d be at least 30. I wanted to get school done first. Then, after my previous relationship, I decided I wanted to be alone. Fate had different plans. I also wasn’t sure I wanted kids. Changed my mind. However one is plenty. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone invalidates a person’s choices by saying “oh you’ll change your mind”. So even though I changed mine, I won’t be implying or outright denying that you don’t know your own mind.

My wedding was small. We eloped. It was a complicated situation with his family at the time, and we had decided to have the protection of a legal document since we were living together anyway. We picked randomly picked the day. Turned out to be Valentine’s Day. So, I, along with millions of other people, got married at a court house. In fact, someone was wearing my same dress that day! It was awkward. We have yet to have any celebration outside of that day. It was just my immediate family. However, I’ve never regretted marrying him and I still look back fondly on it. Fun fact: his parents found out we were married after we totaled their truck a few months later. Not so fun fact: that was the scariest accident I’ve been in to date. Accident wasn’t our fault and at least in this accident I had airbags. Ever been in an accident? Or in one without modern crash technology? It’s not very fun. Hurts a lot. I remember having to tell my father in law, on the side of the road, that Chase and I had actually gotten married. He was stunned but super supportive. Like I previously said, it was complicated . And I can get into it more, but there’s so much else to address right now!

We really like sitting in silence on our phones together! 😂 We are one of those annoying couples who like to do everything together. We are practically attached at the hip and the pandemic has only made it worse. He’s really interested in getting into D&D. We like playing video games together. We both love swimming. We both really want to travel. I’d love to take him to Europe. We like movies. But we both compliment our different likes and knowledge. He loves animated movies and animes and I love books. We both love art. He’s so good. He lets me do his makeup and nails from time to time. It doesn’t bother him at all. But not only that he’s really helpful at making sure I get my medicines and that I get rest when I need it. Throughout the lockdown he’d do all the running around so I wouldn’t have to go out since I’m immuno compromised. Sometimes I feel like he’s too good to me and the kid. I try to give back what I can. But honestly, he’s my best friend too.

Ahem. Enough gushing.

Other than some musicals and local symphonies, I’ve never been to any other concerts! Weird. I know! I’ve wanted to but never have. I’ve always wanted to see Imagine Dragons. Or Panic! at the Disco. There’s a few artists actually, I’d love to go see.

Croatia is BEAUTIFUL. My time in Europe was 2 weeks during July. I’m in love with it. If you go, Rijeka is wonderful. But near Rijeka is a mountain town called Fužine. It’s MAGICAL. I spent most of my time there. One of the upsides to staying in Rijeka is that it’s just a few hours away from Venice, too. Which. Was also breathtaking. I cried at the beauty of it. I have pictures of these places and I love looking at them. But they also make me a little sad. For multiple reasons. We had a layover in Munich on our way home and so we spent two days there as well. We drove up to the Neuschwanstein castle. It was amazing. But the most harrowing part of that stop was at the site of Dachau. I will never forget the heaviness of it. I had to stop halfway through. It was too much for my sensitivity. A privilege I will never forget.

I was able to visit Idaho (Rexburg) during October and December one year and I loved it. I’ve only ever been to Washington (coastal) and Oregon during the summer months. I wanted to go to school in Washington, originally. Thought I’d move up there. Now the goal is to ultimately expat. Canada, likely. We will see if that ever pans out, though.

I’ve been to the Grand Canyon once when I was 10 or 11(?). We went during December to ride the “Polar Express”. It’s a special event they run during the winter months before Christmas. We were snowed in so we stayed an extra day and took the train to the Grand Canyon. So I got to see it all snowy and clear. It’s gorgeous and I highly recommend it once. I don’t know if I would ever really go back but I might take the kid someday. I at least want her to go on the Polar Express ride. It’s cute and fun for the kids. I was a little too old to fully enjoy it, but my little sister was roughly the right age.

I’ve been to several places in Arizona. The missions, Jerome, and I’ve also been to some places in Colorado and New Mexico. I can’t recall all their names off the top of my head and it was a long time ago.

I greatly appreciate anyone who can write poetry. It is not my forte. They come out childish and awkward. So, I keep those to myself. I write anything and everything. I have several stories, but three top priority right now. One is complete but needs serious reworking and revision. I started it when I was 15. It’s a paranormal mystery with romance. The second one is a fantasy that I started with a friend when I was 14/15. It has its own world and has taken on a life of its own since then. It’s massive. And the third one is a coming of age story. It’s my most delicate one. I started it when I was 21. I have shared an excerpt on tumblr of this one. It’s my most complicated one yet. Like any artist, I’m constantly second guessing my work and lamenting my talent.

This weekend has been mostly spent recharging. I’ve been helping my mom with a project. And of course swimming. I’m a child at heart and I bought myself a mermaid tail. I’ve elevated my pool game. It’s so much fun but my body is yelling at me. I’m not as energetic as I was in my youth. You mentioned marching band? You and I really do have much in common! Not only are you a flautist, but a marching one at that?! I marched in high for two years. I loved it but I started to get burned out. And then I started horseback riding and planned to do that instead. My parents couldn’t afford to do both. And then I caught mono. Looking back, I understand why my mono knocked me out for so long (it’s linked to my autoimmune issues) but at the time every one of my friends thought I was being dramatic. It was kind of a horrible experience. So even if I had signed up for band my junior year, I would’ve had to quit. And then my senior year I signed up for this program that put me through a college program to get my EMT-B. I didn’t take band at all that year. Now I just play for myself. Ideally I’d learn every instrument.

I actually couldn’t sing very well for the longest time. Which was ironic because my mom was operatically trained. My older sister was also trained. And my little sister preferred chorus to band. I ended up teaching myself later. So now I don’t sound terrible but I’m not going to take my solo act on the road anytime soon.

If I can teach myself makeup, art, instruments, and other various things, then maybe I can also someday be brave enough to put myself out there on the internet. And if I do, I will definitely let you know! I will at least have 3 subscribers. 😂

Tell me about this trip you’re planning to Croatia!