#I never know how to act abt my birthday bc im so awkward when people say happy bday or whatever and I'm like thanks :) 🧍‍♂️👍

[mattynmarns]

.

[misas-biggest-fan]

some detailed thoughts on an LABB movie w a ‘read more’ bc i have A Lot To Say

i want it to be a movie bc i love movies

im also open to the concept of a mini series but a full tv show might be a challenging stretch

animated or live action would both be incredible and both have their unique pros and cons

the whole thing is DISTINCTLY LA

busy streets and palm trees and the Hollywood sign and the shiny, overly false glamour of everything

would really contrast well with Rue Ryuzaki’s disturbing fake-ness

like he’s just as fake as the whole city, that both he and Hollywood have on this costume to hide tragedy and hideous deeds

i want it to have the glitz and glam and extravagance of the recent gatsby movie (which i adore, dont come for me)

if bahz luhrmann doesn’t direct i will RIOT id die for bahz luhrmann he’s Good and he has the same energy and chaotic attitude of beyond birthday himself

i want beyond to have a scene like the one where Nick realizes who Gatsby is and Gatsby turns around with the champagne flute and the fireworks go off in slow motion as he smiles that’s my favorite shot in all of cinematic history no joke

it’s HIGHLY STYLIZED. i want bright colors and weird aesthetic choices

I also want some shockingly beautiful frames of LA and surprisingly sophisicated shots of Beyonds face lit up in different neon colors or something

Indie enough to be weird and fun but pop enough to be easily digestible

it opens with mello writing his book (like moulin rouge!! a;lsdjfk)

his burn scars are just healing and he knows he’ll die soon so he has to write down all his important memories, leave something behind

he wants to write down something important to him, something that he can leave for Near, something that might put his own life and actions into context

something that might help other people understand who he was more

so of course, he thinks of beyond

who he respects and admires and pities

who has such a similar and yet different story from Mello’s own

so maybe in understanding beyond and understanding how mello feels about beyond

people will understand mello

near will understand mello

so mello gets to work detailing this story his incredible mentor L once told him, describing this beautiful memory he has of meeting with and talking to L and how L told him about Beyond

(in this scene, you don’t SEE L. you just get an idea of what he looks like, flashes and shots, so that the audience can know L well enough to still wonder about the identity Rue Ryuzaki throughout the movie)

and then of course, we dive into the story

Beyond is OVER THE TOP. he’s more than unsettling, he’s downright terrifying. but he’s still somehow intriguing and even charming at times, like he can turn the smoulder on and off at will. 

Hes a disaster nb, a fabulous hodgepodge of discarded gender roles and impressive makeup skills

Him practicing his evil laugh and trying so desperately to be this comic villain didjdjdje hes such a loser i love him that scene NEEDS to make an appearance

he and naomi’s chemistry is incredible to watch on screen because beyond dominates any scene he’s in unless naomi is there to challenge him because her acting is also so powerful that when they’re on screen together, it’s like you can’t tear your eyes away from this insane car wreck that is their relationship

and NAOMI

a;lksdfj;dlkfj naomi misora <3 <3 <3 <3 ok im ready

so naomi is also a powerful presence on screen, even though she’s not crawling on the ground or eating with her hands or you know whatever ridiculous garbage beyond is doing

more time is spent on her

her disastrous relationship with raye

her feelings over her suspension from the FBI

and really play up the whole jessica jones thing she’s got going on

i want black leather for DAYS

I want “gritty LA detective who’s on suspension from the FBI because she doesn’t play by the rules” or whatever except it’s a twist because not only is she not a man, like this trope usually calls for, but it turns out she was suspended because of her tenderness and humanity instead of her brutality

she still needs to have MULTIPLE fight scenes, a few with beyond and maybe even a few with other attackers, who she absolutely mops the floor with

but then she and beyond have a scene where they fight against someone together

he’s not a good fighter. she mostly has to save his butt every time but he’s just happy to be there and probably keeps saying stuff like ‘wow misora you’re amazing!’ and she’s like ‘?!?! ryuzaki you loser?1?! run?!?’

and of course, there’s enough twists and changes from the book to keep everyone on their toes, but GOOD changes

like maybe we go back to mello a few times and he has more of his own subplot where his relationship to near is revealed more fully, that he wants near to understand him and he wants to reach out to near emotionally in this way

contrast mello’s story with beyond’s so when we learn beyond’s full story at the end, he and mello are revealed to be foils of each other

we get shots of wammy’s house and we see a and beyond interact and we see beyond’s life-destroying grief over a’s death

we get contrasting shots of wammy’s with mello and near and we’re allowed to hope that maybe they can be happier

A and beyond become something of a subplot leading up to as death but you dont entirely realize who beyond is until the big reveal at the end

maybe beyond does some more unsettling things that are just as creepy and in-character but are a terrible surprise for those who’ve already read the book!! i can’t imagine what other horrific thing he could do to scare naomi, but there’s got to be something

i’m rly into bday massacre bc i love naomi and beyond’s rly twisted relationship so i’d love to see more of him being in awe of her, more of them connecting, more of beyond opening up to her even. maybe she tells him a little bit about her suspension. just a little.

also if we could like clean up some of the plot holes in this joint pls and thank you

id even be ok if it’s insinuated that he self-sabotaged a little, on a conscious level or not, bc i feel like that wouldn’t be tooooooo ooc i mean, he’s a hot mess. most of this is just a really twisted cry for help anyway, at least in my interpretation. he wants people to realize he’s suffering. he just… can’t do it in a normal or healthy way :/

beyond pls a;lkdfj

Anyway. Theres also a boppin soundtrack

Fire is a big motif. Maybe make a connection between wildfires in CA and beyond using this case to self-destruct

A little more closure at the end. Thats part of the drive behind my bday massacre fanfic rn is that i feel like he and naomi never got any real closure on the traumatizing, like, week or two they spent together

I also want more closure on naomi as a character arc. I want her to dump rayes sorry butt and i want her to have had some sort of real internal change. None of this “she picks up her life where she left off and never thinks abt beyond again”

Of course, L is revealed and has his glorious little spill down the concrete subway stairs. Its What He Deserves :)

And of course we have to make the obvious contrast between both beyond and mello having survived serious burn injuries its just another thing that makes them such interestingly comparable characters

If Naomi visits Beyond in prison to say goodbye, i wouldnt be opposed. If they made my fanfiction into a movie i wouldnt be opposed

Mello prints out his book in the mafia hideout, his arms folded and waiting as paper after paper comes out, just begging any of these mafia dudes to mock him for liking to write. None of them do. Its a funny moment tho

He debates sending it to near, feeling so awkward and prideful, but he finally does it, leaving instructions for it to reach near after his death.

In the end, naomi and beyond are revealed to be dead at the same time as near receives the package from his dear mello

Naomi and beyond were doomed, and so were beyond and a, but now… near has mellos last love letter to him, cryptically begging him to try to understand. And so theres hope that although the rest of these relationships were doomed, maybe near can still have one piece of mello and be happy

[murkrees]

older brother! nct (hyung line)

Taeil

okay so

let me start with taeil

cute floofy taeil okay

taeil just gives off these warm brotherly vibes u know???

like honestly you were b l e s s e d to have moon taeil as ur bro

ever since childhood he’d just be so naturally protective over you like

it wouldn’t be overprotectiveness like a certain someone (ty track cOUGH) but it would just be so subtle

as in if you both would be on the bus he would give you the seat closer to the window and stand up while keeping an eye out for anybody who even tried to touch you the wrong way

would be the best if you needed help with your homework

didn’t understand an equation? mOON TAEIL AT YOUR SERVICE

if u ever brought friends over and he would accidentally walk out with his bed hair, oversized tee and boxers

happens way too many times is2g

he’d just stop in his tracks and stare at you all with a blush on his cheeks before whirling around on his heel and walking back to his room without a word

hES SO AWKWARD ITS PRECIOUS AAA

he wouldn’t be the type to glare daggers at a guy you brought over

he’d just stare at him while trying to calm himself down and gulp nervously, eyes shaking like they were in nct life paju during yaja time

he’d clear his throat so much and ask so many weird questions

"so how long have you been dating my sibling”

"around two months?”

"uhh, that’s great, congratulations”

he wouldn’t be super aggressive w you than he would be with the other nct members

but during christmas don’t expect him to be above shoving you outta the way to get to the presents first

moon taeil is precious protect him

Johnny

JOHNNY

MY MAN

u guys would be sibling goals af ngl

would always back down in fights cause he hated fighting w u

always always always ruffles your hair

can get aggressive sometimes but its okay you get aggressive back

would be ur no.1 supporter

have an show at school??? expect him to have front row seats while holding a handycam in his hand, cheering the loudest 4 u

fundraiser????? he’ll be standing by your booth and persuading everyone to buy your cupcakes cause let’s be real this boy has looks and enough smooth talk to churn butter

going on a date to a fancy restaurant? it’s johnny’s fashion evaluation

"wear the red dress we bought two months ago and use the pearl earrings mom gave you for your birthday”

"what are those heeeeels use the other pair woman!!! ur legs will look better”

wouldn’t be the overprotective type if you brought a guy/girl over

would try to get along as well as he could w him/her to make you comfortable

he always puts you first and makes sure you know that

Taeyong

lee taeyong!!!

real sweetheart

would b so overprotective of u and he wouldn’t even realize

if u brought a guy over he’d just make up random excuses to tail you around and “supervise”

cough cough glare at him the whole time

but halfway through he’d just kinda snap back to reality and realize how he’d been acting

and just kind of tone it down a little

ngl your friends would love going over to your house because of him lmao

you guys would just have that kind of relationship where you just completely understand and count on each other

like if you had a nightmare you’d just knock on his room door and peek in and he’s writing lyrics with only his desk lamp on

and he looks up at you with bed hair and home clothes and he sees your face

you guys don’t even exchange words before he understands you had a nightmare and you just trudge over and flop on his bed and fall asleep there as he continues to write lyrics

or if he had a particularly stressful day and he’d come home looking like shit

you’d just bring out the pillows and blankets and lay them out on the sofa with two tubs of ice cream with your favorite flavors

and he’d just plop down next to you and you’d just listen to him vent

honestly taeyong wouldn’t even be in the position he was in now if it weren’t for you

sibling support 100000000%

Yuta

this boi

probably made you cry a lot during your childhood lbr

there’d be times where he’d tease you for your pigtails

“mooooom yuta’s teasing me again!!!”

“moooooooooooooooom yuta’s teasing me again!!!!!!!!!!” (yuta’s imitation of your voice)

but as you both grew up he matured and so did u

of course there’d still be times where he’d tease you but they’d be more playful and less intense

“what are you going on, a date? who’s the unlucky guy stupid enough to go on a date with you”

“funny because the last time i checked he was in that idol group of yours”

cue yuta choking on his spit

there’d be times where you’d be cooped up in your room studying for exams

and he’d knock on your room door licking a stick of ice cream and handing another one to you while asking if you needed a break of a ride to the nearest café/starbucks for a change of scenery

or times where he’d be in a pissy mood and you made sure to give him space to cool down

but u do knock on his door and tell him quietly that you have a plate of his favorite food in the microwave

and he never answers but by the morning the plate would already be washed

brags abt u a lot to the other members (not that you would know that)

tbh i honestly think he’d be even more protective than taeyong

wouldn’t be above threatening your boyfriend if they ever hurt you

if u ever come home crying he’d go ballistic

“tELL ME WHO THE HELL I NEED TO BEAT UP ONLY I CAN MAKE MY SISTER CRY”

secretly a big softie for you no lie

Kun

the nicest older brother to ever exist

the most understanding person you’ve ever met

treats you to food all the time

never allows you to pay after

“what kind of older brother would i be if i cant even treat you for a meal??”

you go to him for advice,, like,, all the time

a great listener

went home crying after some school drama? better expect kun already there with some ice cream and blankets ready to listen to your latest emotional rollercoaster

your parents could always trust him to take care of you if they had dates or had to go out so you never had babysitters

all your friends wish they had kun as their older brother

(pretty sure some of them had crushes on him, but i mean,,,, who wouldn’t)

can be savage if he wants to but only if you poke fun at him

doesn’t look like it but can be quite playful

sometimes you’d tease him and he’d just look at you with that done-ass face

drives you everywhere!!! even accompanies you to the mall or to do some shopping

actually so touched the first time you bought him a meal with your own money

“my baby’s growing up…” sniff

“shut up this is literally a two dollar street snack”

in his eyes you’re still a little kid

love older brother kun thanks

Doyoung

ngl he’d be the type to not know how to act around you when you both were young??

“what do you want for your christmas present?? what do girls ur age like??? what do children like keep me up to date what are fedgeet speeners”

only comes out of his room to grab some food

as you both grew older he’d be more comfortable around you

before performances he would send you selcas of him to ease his preperformance nerves

tons of selcas his gallery would be filled with them tbh

“whos ur favorite brother”

“obviously me ahaha who am i kidding”

“its not gongmyung right”

“right???”

“(y/n) pls answer me”

always remembers to buy you random trinkets from his tours abroad bcs he knows how much u love them

u always go to him when you need help with your schoolwork or study but always roasts you about your grades

“what do you mean you don’t understand trigonometry its literally the easiest thing in the book”

his savage side always shows up whenever u two hang out together

“oh u like that necklace? buy it urself”

ends up buying that necklace for u anyway

showers u with gifts cause he doesn’t know how to show his affection otherwise

nags u a lot but that’s because he lovs u

(and bcos ur a mess)

“you ate dinner right?? im not accepting a ‘yes’ if you ate instant ramyeon”

“i don’t care if you have finals you are bathing at least once a day ya stinkie”

“wash those dishes piling up in your sink (y/n) gross”

be grateful for older brother doyoung keeping you in check

Ten

oof

you know he’s that one bitch

one of the most annoying™ people you’ve known growing up

kind of distant to you while you were teens because of how hectic his life is

still doesn’t exempt his love for teasing you though

i mean,,, have you seen that one picture of ten casually taking a selfie as his mom scolds his sister right beside him,,, yeah

probably the type to wake you up saying you were late for school just to record you running around the house like a madman and going out the door just to realize its 4 am on a saturday

but you grew up watching his antics so you knew what not to do when you got older

as the both of you shifted to adulthood you got closer

ended up as you taking care of him and making sure he doesn’t accidentally get in trouble most of the time

still teases you playfully though

“no ten the market is this way jesus christ get off your phone”

“oho so you do care! if you care about me that much why don’t you pay for our meal—”

“go choke”

being ten’s sibling automatically makes you friends with johnny no ifs ors buts

ten brought him along to one of your hangout sessions without telling you beforehand and now he’s just,,, there

you don’t even bat an eye at him anymore

or the other members he brings along

probably tried to set you up with johnny more than once but the both of you have already caught on and are just playing along to amuse him

automatically makes you good friends with lisa too

lowkey doesn’t want to introduce bambam to you oops

is so subtly protective of you but lbr who could get intimidated by his 169 cm ass

like that time he caught jaemin glancing your way for a tad bit too long and he just gave him the look™

never likes the guys you hang out with

“that kind of guy doesn’t deserve you (y/n),,, you need someone gentlemanly, someone nice and tall like johnny-“

“if you like him that much why don’t you date him instead”

you may have grown up but in his eyes you’re still that little girl with pigtails he used to pull

older sibling ten is annoying but you love him anyway

Jaehyun

jaehyoOons

growing up with such an attractive brother was both a blessing and a curse

sure he was attractive and that itself was a plus point but then you had to deal with all the fakies that came at you just to get closer to your dorky older brother

not to mention the countless times he accompanied you somewhere or picked you up from school and heads would just turn

it got annoying at times but then you got used to it

now you just enjoy the perks of having such an attractive brother because honestly, who wouldn’t

not to mention good lucks are hereditary lucky you ;)))

good brother,, always follows your parents instructions so if anybody ever got in trouble it was you

if you were up to mischief and he found out he always covered for you,,, no exceptions even if he didn’t approve of whatever you were doing

the little sneak got good at lying from all the times he covered for you

always ALWAYS always there to comfort you whenever you had a bad day or if you were crying

not necessarily protective but still ready to give a little “warning” to whoever messes with you

talked to you a lot ever since you were children

by a lot i mean a lot

because he’s pretty shy at school when he was younger he makes up for it by discussing alien conspiracy theories with you

now that he’s opened up more it doesn’t mean that you both don’t enjoy a good conversation about whether or not mars had living beings

whenever you both had meals together or dinner with the family there wasn’t a moment where he didn’t steal your food

“food tastes the best when it’s on another person’s plate”

rly sneaky about it but you always notice

gets angry at you if you don’t take care of yourself properly

like the time he ignored all your messages and calls for two whole days cause he found out you consecutively skipped lunch and dinner

makes sure you have your priorities straight

older brother! jae is amazing lucky you

Winwin

whatta weirdo

ever since you were children he’s always been an oddball

clings to you wherever you go

even though he’s older than you sometimes it feels like you’re the older one who has to take care of him

honestly if it weren’t for you he probably wouldn’t have survived the first 15 years of his life

not to mention the multiple times you had to guide him whenever you were in malls or in a crowded marketplace just to make sure he doesn’t get lost or distracted

would fool around with you during family gatherings

inside jokes are a thing no ifs buts ors

whenever something reminds you of that inside joke you’d just look at each other from the other side of the room and make eye contact before smirking

all your other siblings are so done with you two,,, especially your parents

like the time the both of you attempted to bake a cake for fun and eggs ended up on the ceiling

don’t ask

it took all your willpower to stop winwin from burning the place down

when you guys finished you were covered in all sorts of ingredients and spend 15 minutes laughing about it

but you got closer thanks to that!!

even though winwin should not be allowed in the kitchen or near a stove anymore sometimes when you two hang out and want to reminisce you just start baking

always ends up in a mess but you two have fun anyway

as you two grew up there wouldn’t be much that changed

he texts you random korean words or phrases just to show you how much he’s been improving

actually convinced you to take up learning korean too

you would call him and talk to him in korean to practice and he would cheer you on or correct you if you got any words wrong

lowkey doesn’t want you to meet any of the nct members except for renjun lmao

would probably try to set you up with renjun,,,, but ended up as you two being rly good friends so it was a win/win situation ha ha

has actually had to fight yuta to make sure he did not get your number

“but if winwin is this cute then how cute could his sibling be??? come on pls”

you know all his embarrassing secrets,,, and always made sure to bring it up whenever he has members over

he would whine for you to be quiet about it and stop

older sibling! winwin is too lovable u are blessed

Jungwoo

s o f t

literally the best older brother you could ask for

took care of you so much when you were children

basically coddled you

fell down in the playground and scraped your knee? expect older brother jungwoo to run around finding a bandaid before putting it on your knee as he told you to be more careful

forgot lunch? jungwoo will 420 blaze it to your classroom and hand over his lunch saying that he’ll steal some food off of his friends

had arguments with you whether or not cow was spelt with a c or a k

someone made you cry? the moment you entered the house you’d just hug him and cry to his sweater

he’d just hug you back and tell you it’s okay while caressing your head

older brother jungwoo is soFT

he probably wouldn’t change as you got older

still coddled you nonstop 24/7/365

“its going to rain today don’t forget to bring your umbrella”

“yes mom”

soccer nights are a thing and tradition to never forget or break

you always wanting to meet nct and jungwoo chuckling nervously

“(y/n),,,, im not sure that’s a very good idea,,,”

you teasing him playfully

“I saw that new meme on instagram about you,,, can you try saying ‘skorret’ again”

“dO YoU havE JunGwOOiTis?”

“(y/n) pls stop”

“you know the general public and your members seem to have the image that you’re real soft i wonder if they know about the time where you-“

“ssssssshhhhhh”

but all is good because jungwoo loves you!! and you love him back don’t forget that

[theday]

ALL

i did the wrong set of questions ... so we’re getting the ones i reblogged to my main blog lmao

the outdoors

overcast: do you think you’re an overachiever? what do you your friends think? 

oh no not at all i cant be bothered to put in effort although i do love being Great 

clouds: is there anything someone has ever said to instantly make you sad?

“i dont understand” like... this doesnt make me sad really it just makes me feel stupid bc when im trying 2 explain smth and they say this i feel like i failed as a person trying 2 help rip

gray skies: what calms you down?

sleeping helps and just distracting myself with other things

thunderstorm: how do you prefer to resolve tension in your life?

tension between me and someone else?? i just confront/talk to them which usually ends up badly b4 i dont think before i act and i end up saying dumb shit

wind chill: what makes you feel cold inside?

hm. ......... ... .. finding out i mean less to someone than i originally thought if that makes sense???

droplets: to you, is physical closeness more or less important than frequent communication?

tbh.. physical closeness is very important.. i talk to this person through message more than i talk to them irl so whenever we see each other irl its super awkward???? though its not exactly the case so communication is important too i guess??? 

puddle: what is your emotional outlet? why?

venting!!!! bc its easy and i have a lot of thoughts so typing it all out is soothing 

morning fog: do you prefer waking up early or sleeping in? 

uhvhhdslkskkl i love waking up early but sometimes i kinda just . lay in bed and hug my thing that i hug to bed and ??think abt soft shit like cuddling someone idk its bad but NICE so i do end up sleeping in?? except im wide awake idk

mist: 

me seeing all the mx shit

drizzle: what is something you would like to know more about / explore?

personally id like to explore the streets of sg more/?? i always travel by train/bus/car so i never walk outside a lot and i kind of want to/??? with a friend???? just explore and walk arnd and take pics u kno

the indoors

fairy lights: what makes your eyes light up?

seeing my special ppl friends included

coffee shop: where is your favorite place to be?

home

windowpane: what music do you listen to the most?

lately its been kpop ever since i got into day6

teabag: do you prefer tea or coffee? how do you take it?

tea!!! with 2 packets of sugar always

candlelight: what is your favorite scent? why?

THE SMELL OF FRESHLY CLEANED LAUNDRY!!!!!! and lavender 

throw pillows: what is your favorite type of relationship? do you have one like that?

friendship ..?????????????

cozy: have you ever been in love? describe the feeling.

i wont count my universe tm so no

bustle: do you enjoy being busy? why or why not?

depends on what im busy with??? if its sch work/exams then no!!!! but busy doing things that i like??? ya i love it but im always 2 lazy rip

succulents: do you like taking care of things, people, and animals? which one do you enjoy the most/least? why?

ive never taken care of anyone in my entire life before and i was p irresponsible when i had hamsters so ....... .. taking care of things is the best???????? its easy???????? and i always remember to be careful with my laptop, etc.

chatter: what are your favorite things to talk about? with whom? why?

my favourite things to talk about are the things that i like with friends who like that thing as much as i do and bc i can feel the BOND between two fans and shit????? its like????? i can relate??????? i agree???? me too????? idk

your body

baggy sweater: what keeps you warm? 

blankets. ... the sun/.. 

daze: do you meditate? why or why not?

no i cant just sit there and do nothing

damp: do you cry often? what makes you cry?

i really dont lmao do geminis cry a lot or smth (falen and jen)

bc i cry so rarely its gotta be actual emotional shit??? stuff that i can relate to?? for e.g not having a friend write a proper birthday message (this is too specific but its more like.... having a friend who doesnt actually care that much) or idk its mostly always bc of friendships bc im weak

umbrella: what makes you feel safe?

i used to be rly paranoid and would make sure the doors are locked and shit but now i dont care as much? some guy could break in and id probably thank him

gleam: what makes you feel the best about yourself?

bell and boxy laughing at the nonsense i say

yawn: who takes care of you when you’re sick? who do you take care of when they’re sick? 

my mother when i was younger??? but she’d always get so mad about it so i dont tell her anymore i just take care of myself by resting and shit

i dont take care of anyone 

hum: besides music, what is your favorite sound?

silence..??? unless im home alone then no thanks lads

oh shit boys the sounds you hear when ur underwater are actually nice??? i love it

brush: do you enjoy having your hair played with? what about massages?

no to both but ill gladly play with other peoples hair

fuzzy socks: do you prefer warm or cold weather? why?

cold bc its always hot here

gloves: do you like working with your hands? why/how?

mmmmm yes?? personally im a very “itchy” person so ill always have to be fiddling with smth??? idk why tbh and my skirt and shirt??? have this thing??? idk how to describe it but i kind of like fold it?? and rub the pointy part against the inner part of where the nail ends??? god this is the worst and weirdest description ive ever had to write im signing off

thank you so much for asking this once again falen i love u :-o

[lookwhatilost]

i saw this valentines day ask meme earlier and i wanted to reblog it but i also dnt want people prying on gp and i know nobody will send me anything here bc i have like no followers, so im going to answer it under the cut and if you wanna b #nosy, then you’re at your liberty to do so

also im drunk answering these so theres that

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

lmfao

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

yes, sadly 😪

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

unofficially we were on and off over the course of almost 4 years but officially the longest we were together was only a handful of months... but i generally tell people the unofficial version bc i feel like they’d downplay the significance of it otherwise

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

yeah but in the sense that i let good things inside me wither and die when i shouldnt have

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

he’s living with someone else but makes a point of letting me know that he’s still th*rsting over me... it’s rly embarrassing

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

idk for certain but most likely

7: Have you ever cheated?

no

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

if i was aware, no, but i feel like i’d be totally possible for me to start going out w someone like that without being aware of that reputation beforehand

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

your heads need to b in the same place i think... what with priorities, values, etc. i know some people can happily ignore conflicts like that & jst know to never bring them up but i can’t ever picture myself doing that.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

i’ve never had a “fling” in my life and i dnt intend to

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

if you need space from someone, then it is what it is, but i dnt think i would ever use the term “break” bc it’s too grey. i’ve seen friends. i know what’s up.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

harry’s the only person ive been with in any capacity

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

a lot but i think i would say, like, letting it go on for as long as it did bc i thought i didn’t have anything else going for me. granted, i didn’t, but sometimes it’s better to be invested in an ex that you aren’t speaking to, than be invested in a relationship that’s dragging you down

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

never tbh sex is dumb as shit

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?

fuck no

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?

i believe you can instantly recognize that you connect to another person but that’s not, like, love lmfao

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?

yeah but i’ve no interest in that

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

in a relationship i dnt think i would interpret anything as an objective deal breaker aside from the Big Shit like cheating etc. but if i was considering dating someone i think the biggest deal breaker would be political differences.

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

i’ll let you know when i figure it out

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

no

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

under the right circumstances, sure

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

i would encourage them to. i personally wouldn’t want to get into a romantic relationship that didn’t already have the foundation of a strong platonic one

23: How many relationships have you had?

one

24: Do you think love can last forever?

no but i dnt think there’s anything wrong with that either

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

absolutely not

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

my parents are so out of touch w who i am that their approval or objection carries no weight beyond that so... no

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

all advice is useless. conclusions have no meaning unless you draw them yourself. if i could go back in time, i would kill hitler.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

yes but personally ive no interest in one

29: What do you notice first about another person?

this is gnna sound dumb but whether they have a threatening vibe to them or not. for context: i work in service

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

i’m bisexual but i dnt see my attraction to men as anything more than begrudging & a nuisance

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

not in principle, but i have a lot of mental illnesses myself, and if i was in a position where my mental disorders and my partner’s were jst endlessly feeding off of one another... yeah that would definitely upset me

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

harry was definitely emotionally abusive to me at times but he was jst stupid tbh and retrospectively i dnt consider it to be abusive. jst, like, it was a very bad dynamic and it coaxed shitty things out of both of us

33: Do you want to get married one day?

not rly

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?

i wouldnt

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

easily

36: Are you still a virgin?

i wish

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?

personality obvi but physical attraction still needs to be there lmfao

38: Do you enjoy love films?

no they’re bad

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

ive gotten roses twice

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

what even is that

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?

i dnt have a specific vision but it would involve day drinking lmfao

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?

yeah. 3/10 tbh.

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?

it’s a balancing act! ive been guilty of putting my friendships on the back burner in favor of romantic relationships and i dnt want to do that again!

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?

not anymore

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

this is a loaded question bc all my friends follow this... if i say yes, it’s awkward. if i say no they’ll be like “well why the fuck not?”

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?

have people i liked romantically not returned my feelings? yes. have i gotten all indignant and entitled abt it? i’d like to think not.

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?

literally i can’t even think of any

48: What's your favorite love song?

momentarily? knock you down by keri hilson. it’s cute & a throwback

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

doubt it

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?

lack of proximity to available people that i’m compatible with, the fact that i have standards

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?

poor & nice... no shit sherlock

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

all dating advice is a shout into the void. i dnt bother

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?

i think exposure to that kind of stuff hits on a very real insecurity that stems from a rly long pattern of being mistreated in my romantic endeavors, but it’s not jealousy lmfao it’s something much more insidious than that... like i feel like im being taunted for having extremely severe emotional trauma related to that and it’s rly not a can of worms i want to open

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?

it’s not like important-important, but suffice to say, i would be suspicious of someone who was vehemently against it

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?

i’m trying to learn there’s nothing shameful abt being attached to the people you care abt, so yes & no

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?

yeah but i dnt feel particularly bad abt it either

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

when you’re suicidal you dnt care much for what is or isnt silly, let’s be real

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?

ideally my relationships dnt have a dynamic like that

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

i have a weird fixation on dates and remember significant ones from, like, 10 years ago. february 9th 2009 was a big one, actually. so no i generally dnt forget dates unless i didnt commit them to memory in the first place

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?

stupid

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?

my family isnt important to me

62: How do you define "cheating"?

doing anything #physical with someone other than yr partner, or like, carrying out any sort of emotional relationship w someone you aren’t dating (like you’re telling someone else that you love them & wanna get w them or whatever)... some of it is rly cut n dry but other times its very, well, grey

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

i mean it’s not but like... holy shit dude you’re not 15 anymore.

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?

who dznt?

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?

probably. who knows. i cant believe answering this ate up almost a whole hour