#I offered my dad a substitution for making those like instant pancakes

[l4tedawns]

Another day another incident of parent being snarky as a joke for no reason I Don’t know why I bother

[angeltriestoblog]

I try to cook!

This is going to come as a huge disappointment to the Tiktok community, but no I don’t do the cooking, no I don’t do the cleaning—kind of surprising for someone who eats so much! I mean, it’s not like I never tried. I did learn how to make nilagang manok and instant noodles over my five month long summer vacation before the start of college (and threw in the towel shortly afterward), and also expressed interest in being the cook whenever my friends and I go out for samgyup. But yeah, that’s about as far as I would go. Until today!

After almost two months indoors, I’ve been craving certain food that are either unavailable at restaurants for pick-up, or offered in branches that don’t deliver to my house. My love for them ultimately trumped my deep-seated aversion to anything that requires me to leave my seat, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. After collecting recipes, buying ingredients, and experimenting with flavors, I was able to come up with three decent dupes for some of my favorite dishes!

Kko Kko cheese fondue

This is a really simple, no-frills recipe but I still had to make some variations here and there: it’s common knowledge that [1] I don’t like bread (my friends have already interrogated me about it multiple times—I am a rice kinda woman!), and [2] there are barely any frozen finger foods in stock at the groceries. Thankfully, my mom was able to find a fitting substitute! Although it tasted mostly of breading, it went well with the dip anyway.

INGREDIENTS

Cheez Whiz, 110g

Fresh milk, 100ml

Shrimp poppers, 200g

French fries, 450g

Basil leaves

STEPS

Slowly pour the cheese in a pan, over low heat.

Add milk into the mixture and immediately turn off the stove so it doesn’t curdle. Although it’s relatively safe to eat, it doesn’t look appetizing and it can’t be reversed once done: you’ll be left with little lumps suspended in the sauce.

Stir thoroughly, until it reaches a pale yellow-orange color

Set aside and sprinkle with dried basil leaves before serving

For both shrimp poppers and French fries, just deep-fry them until golden brown. The former is a bit more difficult because they’re several spherical pieces, so it’s hard to ensure they’re all evenly cooked. (Don’t forget to wash your hands before you do any dipping!)

Pancake House corned beef hash

I remember being in Pancake House with my friends on my last day in the outside world and I deliberately chose not to order this even if it’s my go-to comfort food—for what reason, I have no idea why! I have beat myself up for it ever since. Thankfully, my version is almost as good as the real thing: I was able to base it off a recipe for croquettes! Although the breading used makes a significant difference, the generous filling surely makes up for it.

INGREDIENTS

HASH

Corned beef, two 380g cans

Eggs, four pieces

Bread crumbs, 500g

Potatoes, four pieces

Mayonnaise, two 2ml packs

Salt, to taste

Minced garlic

RICE

Butter

Cheese, as much as you want

Baby tomatoes

STEPS

Slice the potatoes into squares, then boil; season with salt to taste

Set aside in a bowl and mash into smaller squares with a fork

Saute the corned beef with minced garlic (life hack for those who don’t feel like picking up a knife—tastes just the same!): keep stirring until it has dried up. Set aside and let cool.

Mix the corned beef, potatoes, and two egg yolks in a bowl thoroughly.

Prepare two separate containers: one with two cracked and beaten eggs, and another with breadcrumbs. This is where the magic happens!

You can opt to do this next step with your hands or with the aid of a spoon, in case you happen to be growing your nails out too. Scoop a portion of the corned beef mixture and dip it in the egg mix, before rolling all sides evenly with breadcrumbs.

This recipe yields 12 pieces of hash, so repeat the previous step for as many times as necessary. You can also mold them into different sizes, but it’s advisable that you keep them small so it’s easier to fit many of them in the pan when we get to the next step.

Deep fry over medium heat for five to 10 minutes each side, depending on how well done you want it. Check on it regularly though, because it could burn easily because of the egg. Once done, set aside to cool, then drizzle a generous amount of mayonnaise on top.

To prepare the rice, melt a teaspoon of butter and grated cheese in a pan over low heat before adding a cup of rice into the mixture. Serve topped with halved baby tomatoes.

Koomi Mango Moo

I visited Koomi’s Instagram page to double-check the spelling of my order, and was met with the initially devastating news that their Robinsons Magnolia branch has been open for a week now. I easily could have asked my parents to buy me a cup when they went to the supermarket there last weekend. But now I have no regrets since I can replicate it any time I want without having to leave the comfort of my own home!

INGREDIENTS + STEPS

Mango, one half cup, sliced

Plain yogurt, 250g

Fresh milk, 100ml

Honey, three tablespoons

Literally the easiest recipe in the book: put all contents into a blender, and let it do the magic! 10 seconds was enough for me to get the frothy consistency I wanted.

VERDICT: SUCCESS!

Overall, I’m really satisfied with how I did: not only were the results pretty damn delicious (and I’m speaking from a completely objective point of view), but I also partially fulfilled my childhood dreams of being on Masterchef—minus the heart-stopping time limit and the British chef screaming curse words in my face.

Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish this without my mom, who served as both sous chef and crash course instructor: had she not stepped in at key moments of the procedure to check on my progress, there is a likely chance that I would have burned down my house. My dad was also kind enough to shower me with compliments while he was eating what I made for dinner: it definitely makes the backache I got from hunching over both the dining table and stove top for three hours very worth it!

If you guys end up trying out any of these recipes and want to share the outcome, I welcome accounts of both disastrous and successful attempts in my messages! Hope everyone is keeping safe and sane during this quarantine, especially because the lockdown period has been extended another two weeks as per our Pr*sident’s most recent statement.

Love and light always,

Angel