#I really feel the same I did when I finished season 1 perhaps more unhinged even because a month ago I was trying to hold back

[anonfromtheflight]

I really like Young Royals. And I mean, obviously, I'm here lol but I REALLY like how it makes me feel. I like that a gif or picture can make me go feral because I'm flooded instantly by the same feelings and emotions I got when I first watched the show.

I don't remember feeling this way about anything else before and I feel grateful this show exists and I had the opportunity to find it (even if it was late AF lmao)!!

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 4

well, i finished season 4. i did NOT finish the word search i was working on as i watched the last 3 episodes lol

i think what i'm most surprised about is how little i remember season 4 from my first watch a decade ago. i remembered nearly every episode of season 1, then a good majority of seasons 2 and 3. but somehow, nearly everything in season 4 blindsided me, to the point where i was considering the things i read on the wiki "spoilers" (lmao??)

i like what s4 had to offer, though i'm a little disappointed in the slight lack of tension. it felt like there were more "filler" episodes this season—not because there were, not really, since the plots always managed to circle back and relate to the overarching plot, and i don't think there were particularly more filler-ish episodes this season compared to the first three. i think it's because the stakes were so much higher as we approach the apocalypse, and the brothers do often voice my own thoughts in some of these episodes: why are they taking a detour now when they should be averting the apocalypse?

i don't necessarily think this was a mad thing, though. it seems very intentional, both from a writing standpoint and of course in-universe, since the angels were orchestrating the rise of lucifer. it all came together in the end, even if it felt somewhat meandering. perhaps what might have resolved this dissonance may have been a little more foreshadowing: introducing zachariah earlier, maybe, or giving the audience more of a reason not to trust ruby outside of dean's prejudices.

i think the ruby thing is very important, actually. because season 3 spent a lot of time painting demons in a variety of colors and shades, so the audience becomes inclined to believe that demons can be "good" and dean is, let's face it, kind of irrational when it comes to his us vs them mentality. thus we become distrustful of dean's judgment, even if he's right. him being right feels more coincidental than intuitive, and there isn't all that much to say otherwise. i think if season 4 had put in a little more work to break up that inherent distrust of dean's feelings, that could have really done a lot for the season as a whole.

i feel like this might not be a super common sentiment in the fandom, but i was actually surprised at how little shipbait there actually was in this season. which i suppose speaks volumes to how the first 3 seasons were more than anything—the wincest in s1-3 was absolutely unhinged. i guess i'd forgotten at how slow the destiel really started, and at the same time there was a wedge being driven between dean and sam. i remember how chummy dean and cas are in later seasons, so i was expecting them to jump right into it, and that did end up taking me by surprise. it's not as if this show is particularly subtle with its bait lol.

overall i think it was a pretty good season. i got sidetracked early on by a feverish need to read fanfiction(??? it happens from time to time) so it took me a bit longer than i was anticipating, but i liked what it was trying to do and i thought it was mostly successful at it. i think the big "OHHH" moment at the end which explained why dean and sam kept getting sent on wild goose chases, why uriel was helping alastair, why cas was so on the fence between helping and hindering—it really helped settle a lot of my reservations toward the season. zachariah was a good "invisible" antagonist. i still wish he'd been introduced earlier, not necessarily to the winchesters but to the audience at least. yknow, foreshadowing. give more pieces of hte puzzle to work with instead of dumping out the whole box at the last minute.

anyway, this just leaves one more season until i hit my goal. i'm pleasantly surprised that i'm still going strong, too! i had forgotten that i did genuinely enjoy the first 5 seasons of this show, and i'm glad i'm getting this refresher, especially now that i can appreciate better what it's doing since i'm 10 years older. still not sure what i'll do once i finish season 5—maybe i'll continue? i'm still thinking about it. but i'd like to sandwich another show in between before i make that jump at the very least (i'm currently debating between hannibal and the terror).

welp, onto season 5⸻!

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 19: Mr. Robot 1x10

Finally finished the first seasons of Mr. Robot. Might need to take a break before season 2 for Anxiety Reasons but I am glad I finished this one up.

This is from the last ep but that line “I wanted to save the world” is just my favorite now because it rings so differently knowing who is really speaking.

Look, I was one of those people who understood not only that Elliot was in prison in S2 (I think most people got that) but HOW he ended up there and I know from reading internet comments that a lot of people didn’t get it because they forgot the first scene of the season 1 finale but I remembered and I am super proud of myself about this. And just really... overwhelmed by how good this plotting was. Some random story that looked like it was just early season filler, while the show got its bearings, turned out to be the catalyst for the main character’s whole S2 arc and I just !!!! Your fave could never.

AND that Elliot basically engineered his own downfall because his hack took down Estonia and that opened up new resources for “Michael” to find evidence...!

AND the utter BALLS of this show to have the huge event the whole season built to happen off screen and be announced only after a very long intro by a minor character watching tv....!

So I guess it’s basically established here that it was Mr. Robot in charge during the three days Elliot lost. I’m still a little uncertain about it... I just feel like we never got a definitive answer of what happened during those three days. I understand why the Hacker might not have been needed for the execution and immediate aftermath but just the fact that those 3 days remain mysterious made me wonder at some point if real Elliot might have had control for at least part of the time.

GIDEON. Just a good, decent human.

I’m pretty sure Tyrell had no intention, at any point, of stopping the hack. He’s definitely a full on convert by the time we see him again and I think he was half-converted by the time he left for Elliot’s apartment. Three-fourths by the time he saw the arcade.

Speaking of Tyrell, can you believe that there were people who believed for like 3 seasons that he was a personality??? Makes no sense people.

I never liked Joanna, I thought she was boring, but I admire her ability to make her face look so fucking deranged.

That suicide scene was 20x more upsetting this time around. Gave me a small anxiety spike.

I asked my mom how Price was still rich, like if he had a Scrooge McDuck money vault, and she suggested he and whiterose keep their money in the same place, and I said, legit, they are frenemies.

Kickass Angela moment with the Pradas.

“I’m supposed to be your prophet. You were supposed to be my god.” There is...how do the kids say? a lot to unpack there. Who decided this? The real Elliot?

That EvilCorp location, where Price and Angela talk and he “mourns” his colleague, is fucking amazing. Such a great combination of creepy, opulent, and dread-inspiring.

I love Darlene and fsociety so much.

I think some people find Mr Robot the show annoying because of rants like Mr. Robot’s in Times Square, but I don't take these rants of as the show's voice. I take it as like "can you believe a guy this unhinged did all this damage?" You’re SUPPOSED to think it sounds nutty and stupid. This sort of simplistic and nihilistic world view leads to ham-fisted attempts at revolution like the 5/9 hack, just did exactly what it was intended to do and yet was incredibly damaging. The show is sympathetic to Elliot, I’m not saying otherwise, but it isn’t the same as Elliot.

We both think that the person in the empty Times Square is the real Elliot, the one who needed to create the fake family to be less lonely. And perhaps he remains in control until after he’s sentenced to prison, allowing the Hacker to get back in control, along with the fantasy of being “home with mom,” when prison became too much and he needed an escape. Perhaps not a perfect theory but I’m willing to semi-hold it out there.